#im actually so excited like this feels insane to me?
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hi im literally insane. so insane uhhh can you tell me about the good place au. the ted as eleanor on. just when you get a chance!!
Also tagging @awigglycultist and @rbvcdeluxe since y'all expressed interest too
Right. I've played with casting a bit over the past few years but the gist is this: Ted dies, as he is so prone to do, but Tinky thinks up a fun new game he can play with this timeline's Ted (torturing him by making him think he's in Heaven even though he's in the Box/Black and White). So Ted wakes up in an office, gets told by this goat looking office guy he's in The Good Place, and he can spend the rest of eternity in total bliss because he was just that extraordinary.
At first he's thinking "man the bar is low but also i was just that fuckin' cool so I'm not gonna say anything" but the longer he hangs out with sniggles and other Teds that are pretending to be way better than they actually are, mans gonna break and tell someone he doesn't belong.
uhhh this is where the casting gets a bit muddled for me. Linda as Tahani feels like a no-brainer to me, and I always thought it would be a little funny if Paul 23 and Emdroid were Jason and Janet but that's not concrete, it's just silly. The character playing Chidi's whole "helping Ted improve" role changes sometimes. Usually I picture Bill, but lately I've been considering something that would objectively torture Ted more: Jenny.
Anyway, I don't think Tinky would fully redeem himself like Michael does, but he'd still let the humans get rebooted/fight back as part of the game, only to get frustrated when they all actually improve in the new timeline (sidenote: instead of the episode where Eleanor calls out her mom for her shitty childhood and tries to get her to be better to her new stepdaughter, I'm kinda picturing Ted going to visit a freshly graduated and recently moved to college Pete to try to repair any damage he might have caused to their relationship through his sleazeball tendencies in the first timeline).
Webby's the Judge.
I'm so sorry if this is incoherent I've never tried to put any of this into words before but fr this au comes back to me about twice a year and it's kinda exciting to have an ask about it like?? idk doing my best
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Uploading all my Tomgreg art at once from the past few week before season 4 hits, who knows in what kind of mental state i'm gonna be once it does :')
#tomgreg#succession#dont even talk to me i started watching this show when i had nothing to do at work and now i watch it with averiel my good friend averiel#and we are going to watch s4 together and i feel physically ill from bein so excited#so ya thats what ive been up to... anyway. i love these idiots they desever nothing but the worst (affectionate)#im also a tomshiv lover btw. im the one who yells 'THIS IS HOW TOMSHIV CAN STILL WIN' while they are actively losing on screen#thats the kind of person i am#dont look at me (lying on the floor)#okay i was not going to say stuff in the tags and let the art speak for itself but i NEED to point out details in the wine Painting..#i put a lot of work into that one. thinly veiled metaphors and symbolism yknow..#greg is gripping the stem of the wine glass with his full fist. tom and greg are dressed in the same outfit (sock garters included)#greg look appalled but he is not doing anything about the spill. tom is fondly pouring greg more and more wine. he is doing him a favor#i colored the red wine the same way i would color blood :) oh and tom is not really touching greg#only holding the chair in place. greg is making himself look smaller than he is like usual#oh and @ the person who said that it's the inverse of the tom and nate scene i love the way you think. i did not think of that before#but god. yeah. i actually thought about the scene change from when roman uhh.. christens his office in s1. the one with the coffee machine#i always go insane at that cut. this is not exactly the same since it's more.. about emotions but yknow.. it can be.. the same...
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megatora covered fire flower my obsession!!!
#obbession with both separately and now they’re together !!!!!#imma listen to it once i have headphone im just screaming#im actually so excited like this feels insane to me?
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I actually for real feel like my phone's scanning quality has dropped monumentally while I was away on thing so that's a fun thing to figure out now. anyways
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#answering of ''sure'' whenever they ask ''are you gay'' strikes again#gods. genuinely at least on the export the quality of these dropped like to half. whats up with that#sorry if these are impossible to parse#anyways. scribbled these during ''holiday'' ''vacation'' ''getaway'''#sometimes it really is the simple things. hallucinating vividly about the casual life of a pair of teens to survive being in a car for 6hrs#WITH da family#so glad I picked up scribbling on paper again. I actually got stuff to do digitally today and!! literally it feels so much cleaner#like I feel like I relearned a bunch stuff doing traditional ink again for a sec#but yeah. u guys should know by now how much I think about food as a concept#took 3m off last year to write about it in fact. but now Im just microdosing by drawing langa#I'm also actually so insane about reki being a scaredy cat it's so. something. it means so much to me#this of course means koyomi is a jumpscare champion. among siblings that are close in age there must be#the one who sleeps in the lower bunk. and the one who ties a doll to a string by its neck and lower it down to be next to the others face#'why is that so specific' no further question. thank you#gods okay. I need to lay the fuck down it is now my time. to be in bed#Im onto some real exciting stuff rn! and when this piece is done I'll return to ink for a sec#so uh. ink comm maybe not this week. but the next#happy late labor day! seek and destroy. have a good night
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i feel like i need to do laps of the house rn i have so much to talk to you guys about and idk where to start
#going from insisting on updating you freaks on every stupid little detail of my day to NO CONTACT for two months is insane actually#im here like 'i NEED to catch them up on my life' when in reality it's like. i want to tell you about my breakfast#but there was also fandom shit that i missed like HELLO LIVE ACTION ATLA TRAILER. HOW WE FEELING#INSANEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE i hate to clown on myself but. i am excited#i know I KNOW it's gonna be bad stop YELLING AT ME but i literally teared up watching the trailer whatever WHAT EVER!#those are the sillies. MY sillies. zuko is right there. with his weirdly small scar 🤨 AND AZULA!!#a lot of people are hating on the casting choice bc of how young she looks but personally i LOVE IT#like it's harder to convey that kind of youth in animation and i think that's why her character gets done so dirty by the fandom so often#so knowing we're gonna be forced to see a girl who actually LOOKS YOUNG is bonkers im GOING to cry#i can barely survive the last agni kai as it is. im just a girl in the world#OH AND ALSO. AFTG FANDOM HOW ARE WE. I REACTED REALLY NORMALLY ID SAY#VERY AVERAGE REACTION FROM ME
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just found the ash lake in ds1 for the first time. god damn.
#wheeltext#dark souls posting#like i had found the great hollow but i forgot to actually gonna through it#its insane to me how there are still things i havent seen in ds1 like i know i havent finished the dlc but in the main game??#anyway ash lake is fucking beautiful the environment is insane the hydra??? yhe fucking hydra????? i didnt know there was more than one in#the whole game!!! and its mobile???? the bitch jumps????#THE ARCHDRAGON?????#im used to getting spoiled for everything in a souls game at this point so seeing this was nuts it made me so happy#i had also never seen the area in darkroot garden with the red frog mushroom things before which also blew ny mind on a much#much smaller scale#im numero uno thalassaphobe and deep water scares the piss out of me so this area was very effective#the roots/branches you see coming out of the trees way above you look just enough like the hydras heads and tails to make me wonder if#there were more floating above#the skull was kinda weird though#is it supposed to imply there was a before even before the age of the dragons? with big tooth guys#mixed feelings on that but still!!!! exciting!!!!!!!!
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im gonna throw up /neutral
#on one hand. hlvrai 2. on the other hand... hlvrai 2#im so excited that i feel dissociative about this like DUUUUDE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR YEARS#i never expected them to actually do it#it makes me crazy. i feel so crazy. i feel insane!!!#shut the up soda
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obligatory photo to sum my feelings up
#youll be bawling out your eyes in front if people who promised to treat you better and theyll just look at you like your а piece of fucking#chewed gum they found under the desk#people never change!!!!!! never!!!!!!#they don't change#they just learn to hide the shitty parts of themselves!!!!#then im the one whos at fault because i got upset and showed “”“”weakness“”“”#fuck you.#anyways. back to texting cute nerd. (~‾▿‾)~#yesterday maybe??? or so i bumped into him accidentally and ended up brushing my hands over his again.. accidentally while apologizing#i got so flustered girl. i need this shit#i need to feel the excitement of pursuing someone new and them actually showing interest#also he has nice hands.#and soft skin for like the 0.2 seconds i touched his skin#anyways gurlies heres to hopinh hell answer soon. i need that dopamine rush only flirting with guys gives me#what do you mean thats not a good coping mechanism i have B (ig) P(ussy) D(isorder)#its just a part of my charm. i can work it. hell its the only fucking thing i can do#also i was bawling my eyes out at the GYM🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️#everyone was looking at me like im a fucking insane bitch<- is a fucking insane bitch but not because i was crying#also why do i look so that good when i cry. lana del rey said it. cuz im pretty when i cry#not That good but Damn good. fuck LET ME EDIT TAGS#/╲/\╭(•‿•)╮/\╱\
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hey.... hi....
#coming back to tumblr after one of my trademark hiatuses always feels like. the walk of shame out of ur bedroom when extended fam is over#'oh wow shes still alive !' and so on and so forth#BUT ANYWAY. HI. IM BACK. I MISSED U ALL#I TOOK A BREAK BC I WAS SAD BUT ALSO HOPEFUL ABT THE FUTURE AND WANTED TO GET MY LIFE SORTED#AND YEAH IT ACTUALLY KIND OF WORKED#my partner and i escaped the rent trap somehow against all odds and we bought our first house together 🥺#we're still exit cleaning the old house and unpacking everything but we're HERE and happy and im tired as hell but things are good#i also am 95% sure i got a job but that 5% of doubt is driving me insane. i have to go thru security clearances before i hear back#but yeah. if i get this job its like..... 90% of my problems disappear#so uh prayer circle for me ig !!!!#ANYWAY. IM HAPPY. THINGS ARE GOOD AND IM FEELING GOOD (LIKE ACTUALLY DEEPLY GOOD) FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS#EXCITED FOR THE FUTURE. STILL DEEPLY UNWELL ABT ROSY. ALL IS GOOD IN THE WORLD
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.
#i hate to be gushy but i will anyway because love deserves to be express#expressed*#im not rewriting that tag just to fix a typo#anyway i love my partner so much#like i could not have asked for a more supportive woman to come into my life#because like#the past few days have been mentally rough for me#and when i let her know im not doing so great#and its never because of her#she just shows up and shows she cares and does what she can for me while i put in the work i need for myself to be okay#and its just so lovely#insane how much of the work i've done on myself this past year has directly made an impact on having a romantic relationship this time arou#the work has shown and i feel like im actually showing up as the partner i should be#anyways korrie ily#also im seeing so many people at opening night and im just losing my mind#so excited to see so many friends
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taking anti-depressants is like stepping out into the warm sun after years and years of being cold. it takes a bit to feel the difference, and then when it hits you, you’re overwhelmed. taking anti-depressants is like being underground with stale air, and starting to make your way to the surface. beginning to feel the fresher air coming in, and realizing you could never go back down.
taking anti-depressants is being excited to shower to use the new body wash you actually enjoy, and not just tolerate. taking anti-depressants is looking forward to things, and not just being in a permanent gray zone of detachment.
being on anti-depressants is leaving the house and volunteering for things willingly, not having to be forced. being on anti-depressants is starting projects, hobbies, after being disinterested in things for years. being on anti-depressants is hanging out with friends and enjoying it. being on anti-depressants is creating things.
being on anti-depressants for feels like waking up for the first time in years.
#my post#i have feelings okay#it's so fucking crazy noticing the difference for me#ive been on a 50mg dose for like 5 months now and it's insane#i started working out! consistently!#ive been making little felt creatures and welding and DOING STUFF#i volunteered for clubs and stuff at school!#ive spent like 7 or more years in this fugue state of cynicism and disinterest#and now im excited to do stuff and im finding out what i actually like and dislike#and it's so amazing#sorry not sorry for word vomit also
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this new sufjan album is going to fully rearrange my brain chemistry I can already feel it
#noticed the new single this morning but saved it for later cuz i didnt want to risk the psychic damage of listening to a track called-#'will anybody ever love me' right before a job interview 💀#but damn its good. going to the local early listening party next week hehe#also just discovered film school everyone say thank u last.fm for actually generating good music recs 😳😳😳😳#the recs i get suggested based off my listening to so much bdrmm are always >>>>>>>#bdrmm were INSANELY good live. genuinely think a lot of ppl who act disdainful of shoegaze would change their minds if they went to a gig#the richness and texture of the sound cant be summed up in an audio recording u have to be there and feel ur whole body thrum with it#its like floating in a wall of sound.. but the spotify versions sound soooo tame. not that i dont like them but its not the same#god im so fucking excited for slowdive. only a month and a half to go!!!!!!#listened to the new mitski album as well but honestly its not doing much for me rn#but usually when she releases new stuff it takes a little while to grow on me. i need to at least read the lyrics first..#I think esp w folk inspired artists u have to let the song approach u at the right time. ive def had eras when diff mitski albums appealed#but in my heart im a retired from sad girlie. actually at the risk of sounding like a fake fan ive never been able to get into puberty 2#or be the cowboy. i like a couple tracks but thematically theyve never spoken to me#makeout creek/laurel hell are in the middle theres a couple on them that have me by the throat. lush is my 2nd fave i think#but yeah i dont think ill ever be able to extricate myself emotionally from retired from sad that was my first breakup album!!!!#.diaries#anyway back 2 translation state..
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genuinely so emo abt the fact that i have friends who want to do stuff w me now omg
#i was v scared for college bc i have had. such awful luck w finding ppl who want to do things w me#the closest friendship ive ever had was online lol and even that ended w me being ignored and pushed away so its a v foreign experience for#other ppl to v openly. enjoy my company and continously invite me to things just bc they want me to be there#like ik a good part of that is everyone trying to not be lonely as shit these first couple weeks but all of the friends im referring to#were part of a summer program where they got to show up like 6 weeks early and so they already have friends and ppl to hang out w#so its still rly cool that i showed up made friends w like 2 of them and now 3 weeks later im having to actively plan time to do hw and#watch my shows and stuff bc im being invited to eat and walk around and watch movies and do things all the time#shit is surreal !! im so grateful esp when my suggestions for things to do are well recieved like today alone i invited some of them#to go to the barnes and noble opening in a town near us next month + to a open house at our states observatory. and other ppl were actually#excited to learn abt those. its insane im so used to being ignored and treated like the things i care abt dont matter i love life rn omg#ppl are so cool and interesting sometimes i still feel like i am the most boring person in the room bc i never had the time money location#or motivation to explore a ton of my interests but when i tell ppl abt that feeling theyre like bitch me too !!! lets go snowboard and hike#and have observing nights and paint and dress up for halloween together and its makes me so happy. that is all#actually one more thing i was initially thinking abt dressing up as asa csm (which is. already an improvement from younger me feeling so#isolated she avoided dressing up for halloween for a decade bc she never felt close enough to go w anyone) BUT NOW im a part of a 2 month#old plan for like a dozen ppl to dress up as monster high girls AND im gonna be draculaura. literally such a slay i cant#🌸.txt
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:3c
#being unemployed and insane is a fucking trip lol#i desperately want to be doing something but i cant go three days without having an episode#and my therapist isnt acknowledging most of my symptoms#im going through emdr for ptsd but like what about the psychosis what about the mood swings#ive talked about my horrible sensory issues and she says its just anxiety and im like what#i cant even get out of the house cause im not allowed to drive and everything within walking distance is fuvking expensive as hell#and ubers arent in the budget#thank god theres a sliding scale clinic where i get my meds for literal cents idk what i would do without it#im getting my teeth looked at wednesday im equal parts excited and terrible#depression and sensory issues have wrecked my teeth :(#idk bro#im thinking about selling some of my higher value plushes to get some money to do something fun#cause i have negative five dollars in my bank account lol#i would just go to the library or something but one i cant get there myself#and two when my gf gets off work shes usually dog tired so i feel so freaking guilty for asking her#i have an active disablility claim its about nine months in#so maybe ill get lucky and have it approved but i super doubt it#since my psych team refuses to diagnose me with anything#apparently its really hard to get approved for ptsd and thats like my biggest on paper issue thats actually listed#i talk about getting a job but i cant even be in a gas station for more then two minutes without freaking out#so idk how i think im gonna be able to handle a job#plus itll look really bad on my disability claim if i get a job#so im kinda damned if i do damned if i dont#ugh im just shaking myself by the shoulders and yelling BE NORMAL JUST BE NORMAL#but :3 i stay silly i guess#idk if youve actually read this i give you an internet cookie 🍪#if you have any advice let me know i guess
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i have so much life shit i need to complain about right now but everything just comes out as a garbled mess
#gonna make a divider here so ppl dont have to read my stupid tag rant if they dont want to--------------------------------------------------#(sorry i can never resist rambling in the tags)--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------#anyway my mom is coming up here for my birthday after i specifically told her to wait & let me get her a flight for mother's day weekend#& she's staying for two fucking weeks#& there's nothing i can do bc she already bought plane tickets#i mean. i was excited for her to come up. but this amount of time is going to drive me insane#bc i already feel guilty that im not going out & meeting people enough (or really at all) & that's gonna be impossible when she's here#bc i'll have to cater to her the entire time#and i know she's just doing this bc she assumes i'm gonna be alone on my birthday (& apparently not have plans for 2 weeks after!!!)#but i like being alone & doing stuff by myself!!!#and ive been feeling guilty abt that too bc i know it's just hurting my ability to make friends which i apparently so desperately need#like ive been trying so hard to find events bc i already feel so ashamed of myself but i have no desire to actually go#even tho i know i need to#i wish i was the kind of person who's good with people instead of being overwhelmed by everything#so i wouldnt have to deal with all this shame & people wouldn't feel like they have to take pity on me#gonna try to be positive about i guess. been having a hard time doing that lately.
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oo gamers its been a WHIRLWIND of emotions this past day or so
#yesterday morning bad brain day. fucked up in class and was frustrated w myself. felt like i was trudging through mud all morning#then the class got real giggly and it was a lot of fun and everything turned out Fine Actually#THEN my froggy bag was delivered!!! i was so excited to go home and switch all my stuff into it!!!#THEN i saw a friend on the bus im trying to reconnect with and had an ''and everybody clapped'' duckin anime romance cliché happen. insane#then i upset a classmate in the groupchat that evening and felt really bad about it ;w; i quickly apologized ofc so i hope shes. well#she was owed an apology obviously and doesnt have to forgive me or anything. i just hope that shes feeling less upset for her sake.......#anyway. then i slept for 12hrs and then i had a slow panic attack while procrastinating this morning#i need to FOCUS to prep for my EXAM TMR but i am DISTRACTED GREATLY AUGHHH#so many different things so many different emotions ALL keeping me from making my BREAD EXAM PLAN#😮💨
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