#im anxious so im gonna puke!!!!!!!!

[donnyanne]

im going a lil Kuckoo bc i wanna draw shit!!! so bad!!! but no ideas!!!! 

but remembered past me shared and posted a WIP of something and i wanna kiss and thank past me. posting here to try Sealing my fate 

[volfoss]

Everyone loves me and I'm so so so employable<- affirmations

[bunnihearted]

🍰🥛

[ent-is-indecisive]

Feeling really stupid trying to write tonight again

[aliensmoothie]

well . i WAS going to go to sleep . but now i think maybe that is going to be delayed .

[ashmp3]

:D hihi

[mimiatmidnight]

I survived my wisdom teeth surgery today . . .

[sluttyten]

🥶

[notvil]

watching 2021 season of drive to survive. what if i end it all.

[storming-raumo]

Shouldve taken anxiety medication before going to the doctor's

[kenlvry]

reader as kennys, tweeks, and butters older sibling!!

an: someone requested this but i accidentally deleted the request i panicked so bad and im sorry!!! butters colour is only on laptop and my laptop is at home rn so for now butters is

gn btw!

kenny mccormick

you and kenny were inseparable even though you were a year older than him you would still talk to him during recess, even sometimes dropping by his class to annoy mr garrison. when things got tough at home esp when mom and dad is fighting you and kenny would always protect kevin and karen, you two are the most sane people in that house fr.

you were always protective of kenny and would travel to the world and back for him, when he introduced his friend group to you, you were..... shock to be honest. esp the one whos a disrespectful racist sexist person who mocks the jew friend. the others was decent, the most normal friend out of the three of them is definitely kyle, you'd trust your little brother anywhere with kyle. but with cartman? you might have to spy a little.

you sometimes hang out with them! just to protect kenny of course, they dont mind tbh. but you were worried on how stan thinks of you because whenever he sees you he pukes, you tell your little brother but he says to not worry and laughs abt it, you wonder whats so funny about it??

sometimes kenny also follows you around with your friend group, they dont mind, they think hes the most cutest thing ever. they would surround him and compliment him, he definitely likes it.he was protective of karen and you were protective with kevin, you two always try your best to support your other siblings. doing extra shifts just to buy them toys they never got as a kid.

whenever kenny wants to do something you were always there to support it, it doesnt matter how stupid and dangerous it was, you were there to help him no matter what.

you dont remember when kenny dies so whenever he does you'd go livid, you'd cry all day and mom wasn't helping either. who was going to help you support the other two now? who's gonna accompany you when you feel like getting food? you were crying 10 buckets but then just like that you were okay, you didnt even know what you were bitching about.

in conclusion he's definitely your bestest friend. even if he kills someone you'd defend him with your life, you'd do anything for your little bro.

tweek tweak

ever since tweek was born you'd swore with your life to protect him, he was the cutest thing ever, everyone calls you the perfect older sibling. you were two years older than him, 6th grade.

you were really famous amongst the school, everyone liked and respected you. anyone knows that if they mess with tweek, they mess with you. you'd act all tough infront of your friends but then your lil bro came along and you were all soft petting his head comforting him, giving him coffee candy to calm his nerves. almost every 6th grader loved tweek bc of his older sibling.

at home if he had a panic attack or would get really anxious you'd calm him down with coffee (that you bought yourself so no weird shit in it) you knew what your parents put in his drinks thats why you always tell him to only drink your coffee and not to drink them, he doesn't get it and would still drink it but only if he is realllllyyyy stressed out, he trusts your opinions

he trusts you alot, if he gets worried about north korea attacking again you would def help him.

every morning when he buttons his buttoned up wrong you wanted to help but he'd freak out, boy hasn't had his morning coffee of course he's freaked out. you'd forget to fix it by then so you just let it be.

you love him so much and wouldn't ask for any different younger brother, and he is very grateful to have a older sibling as nice as you.

leopold "butters" stotch

butters was the sweetest angel and the best younger sibling you could ask for, although you hated your parents you cared for him so much.

whenever your troubling with something he'd always try to help out anyway he can even though he cant help but he'd try anyways. you hated how unfair your parents was towards butters, he'd get grounded for the stupidest shit and you always argue to your dad about how unfair he's being but instead you'd get grounded too.

you always took the blame for him because he's still a kid and needs to enjoy the outside world, not be cooped up in his room. everytime that eric cartman tricks your sweet angel brother to do something stupid, you hold in the urge to murder some 4th grader, you try talking him out of it but he insisted saying cartman was a good person and hes a good friend, oh how naive butters was

he was very grateful to you and whenever he had doubts about something you are the first person he'd go to, it didnt matter how stupid the doubt was you are always trying to help your sweet younger brother <333

[rachel-of-autumnbow]

Day 10 of @fanovember: Online Dating

Vax is surprising his online girlfriend by watching her performance (and her) for the first time irl.

Vaxleth. Fucking cute i almost died writing this shit. Soft Vax. Feat Korring being the best dad. Probably grammar mistakes. Enjoy.

10. Online Dating

Vax put his phone back in his inside pocket and straightened the jacket lapels for the millionth time. He hated formal robes in general, but suits were a special kind of hatred for him. He had a comfortable set of clothes back in the motorbike chest. “Only a couple of hours,” he thought. “Then back to moving freely.” He waited until the theater doors opened and tried to sneak inside. It would have been easy, if it wasn’t for the flowers he was holding.

Kiki: im so nervous i think im gonna puke 🤮

Vax: itll be fine, its not the first time you do this

Kiki: it’s not the same today, my dad came

Vax: im sure he’ll be very proud of you

Kiki: i hope i don’t mess this up

Vax: you wont you’re a great actress

Kiki: you never saw me on stage

Kiki: or ever

Vax: yet

Kiki: anyway, i should get ready

Vax: go break a leg

Kiki: thanks babe 💚

“Hey, you, I will need your ticket, please.”

“Oh, sorry.” Vax pretended to look for his entrance ticket he didn’t have in his pockets. “I must have left it at home.”

“Sorry, sir, no entrance, no show.”

Vax nodded. “Alright, at least could you make sure to give this to Keyleth by the end of the play? Please.”

The doorman sighed. “Fine, but get out.” Vax turned around and pouted as he examined the hall for a different way to get in.

“Excuse me, young man.”

Vax looked at the man behind him, “yes, sir, I was about to leave…”

“Oh, no, it’s not that. I couldn’t help but hear you’re an admirer of my daughter?”

Vax blinked. His mind quickly showed him the pictures he had seen him in. Pictures that Keyleth had sent him or posted. “Yes, that can be said.” The man smiled in the same way Keyleth did in their facetimes. ‘I can’t believe I’ve met my girlfriend’s father in real life before even seeing her’.

“May I know your name?”

“Vax’ildan, sir.” The man stared at him for a second as they shook hands and he ended up laughing.

“Oh, so you’re that Vax! It’s a pleasure to meet you. Keyleth talks a lot about you, and now I can see why.” Vax cleared his throat and felt a hand on his shoulder. “Does she know you’re here?”

“No, sir. I had a surprise planned.”

“And you left your ticket at home.”

“Actually… The gas and the flowers took all my savings. I was going to, well…”

“Sneak in?” Vax sighed and nodded. He never felt sorry or ashamed of the things he had to do due to his lack of money, but at that moment, he would rather Kiki’s dad not know any of it. “Then consider this your lucky day, come with me.”

“Sir?” The man didn’t say anything, just went to the doorman and gave him a ticket, pointing at Vax. The guy nodded and let them both in with a gesture. Vax followed Keyleth’s father through a corridor, then up a bunch of stairs and a door that led to a box, right in front of the stage. Probably the best seats in the theater.

The man invited him to sit in one of the front seats. “I always get two tickets for Keyleth’s performances, just in case me and my wife happen to be in town to come. I could make it this time, but she didn’t.”

“Thank you, sir.” Vax sat by his side. He had never been in a box before. He could see people under him moving like a sea of heads, slowly finding their place.

Keyleth’s father, Korrin, as it happened to be his name, talked to him while they waited for the play to start. They talked about their families, friends, and how he had met Keyleth. His pocket buzzed.

Kiki: i thought they were kidding about the sold out but they werent!

“Is that her?” Korrin asked.

Vax nodded. “Yes, she’s quite anxious about today.” He was tempted to say something like ‘yeah, i can see that’, but  he didn’t want to spoil the surprise.

In that moment, the lights faded as the off voice started saying the welcoming. The play was fun, all of the actors were indeed amazing. Vax knew some of them, he had made friends with Keyleth’s circle during their relationship. He was aware, although he didn’t really care, of how dumb faced he looked when Keyleth made her first appearance.

Vax: that means there are so many people that want to see your brilliance.

Kiki: most of these are Scanlan admirers.

Vax: i refuse to believe none of them came for you

Vax: its mathematically impossible

Kiki: i thought you hated math

Vax: thats not the point

Kiki: i know 😁

Kiki: i wish you were here 😞

Vax: be careful what you wish for, it could come true

He had seen her in pictures, he had heard her in voice notes and calls, but none of that did justice to her. He imagined himself jumping out that box, running to the stage and kissing her right that moment, but he didn’t want to mess the show. He stood there, mouth half open and heart pining and longing.

Vax didn’t part eyes from the stage until the end, when the doorman entered the scene during the final bows with his bouquet. He handed it to Keyleth, who read the note and started scanning the crowd. Vax stood up and thanked Korrin for everything before heading out.

He waited in the hall for quite some time, he saw everyone go out and half an hour later, even Korrin waved at him when he was heading out. “I didn’t tell her a word. She’ll be out soon.”

Vax smiled, although he has a bundle of nerves. “Thanks.”

Ten more minutes passed and he heard steps in the hall. "Vax?" He turned around and he felt his heart splutter.

"Hey, Kiki." He could only catch her and spin around in a hug. Her hair smelled like freshly cut grass and her laughter was probably the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard.

"I can't believe you're here." Keyleth pulled away to look at him.

Vax put a lock of her hair behind her ear. "I told you to be careful what you wish for."

Keyleth's smile became even brighter. "Did you watch the show too?"

Vax stroked her face, unable to believe he was actually doing what he had been dreaming of for so long. "Yeah, you're amazing, you know?"

"I-I mean… you came all the way to see me."

"Yeah… I also came to do something else."

"Really? Wha—"

Vax didn't hold the kiss anymore.

[hitchhikerwithoutguide]

emetophobia warning

today i coughed so much that i puked

i feel sort of motion sick?

i can breathe normally, but im having trouble sort of letting myself do so, and am going from short, almost hyperventilating breathing, to trying to take longer normal breaths and getting anxious because it feels wrong and makes the cotton feeling in my head worse

my nicotine addiction is *not* helping either, because it makes me feel worse at first but after a while it makes me feel more normal, but it makes the nausea more apparent

im scared im gonna puke again, i havent had breakfast yet (been awake for 2h10min) because im too scared it's going to straight back up again, but at the same time i know that food can be the number one cure to stop nausea

[bunnygirl678]

Dmdiidjwkxocjahzhckzknxnaakkzoxbsn

Anxiety posting under the cut feel free to ignore lol

So we have annual reviews coming up and they’re like super high anxiety for me.

My boss is the type to always list something to improve which is a good thing I know but I just get so hung up on it…

We used to do these quarterly but now we do them once a year but ughhhhh

And like this one is one that we’re doing salary type stuff which is even more stressful and it’s worse because I know the financial health of the company so I don’t always feel comfortable negotiating especially when I know other people can’t get raises

But then the way I try to get myself ready for them is to assume I’m going to get an absolutely horrible review, like I’m mentally preparing to be crushed which is dumb cause my boss did a pre review a few weeks back where he was like you’re doing great and I want to move you up

But my brain is still like no you need to assume this is terrible and you’re probably about to get fired…

Like originally it was hmm I wonder how much my raise is gonna be, then getting kinda excited but then stepping back and like no don’t expect a big one which turned into the cost of living we are giving people which would mean like a very tiny raise, and then that snowballed into you’re gonna be lucky to get anything then you’re gonna get fired

Like this is the only work related thing I just can’t handle lol

Anyway all this to say im freaking the fuck out and will be taking a sleeping tablet for the night LOL

It’s funny too because last year he was like… do you actually like this job because your self assessment is much worse than what I said, and I’m like you don’t understanddddddd, but when we did the pre review he was like do not freak out this is not a bad review, and I was still like ima puke my guts out omgggg

That and he always says something really sweet and I get uncomfortable cause it’s always a thing for me with like authority figures and honestly I think this is cause my parents suck… WAIT hold on I think I just worked out why I’m like this

My mother had a parent teacher conference when I was like 5th grade and apparently the teacher said something about wanting to hold me back a year because I was so mature and a good role model (honestly red flag if a kid is overly mature there’s prolly something wrong lol) and my mother decided to play a joke on me and tell me the teacher wanted to hold me back, and I remember being in the car and like sobbing??? Thinking my life was over, which is dumb but literally my entire self worth as a kid was around being smart and being successful,

Anyway I’m going to read I’m glad my mother died at some point haha

As an adult I don’t base my self worth on success of careers or anything like that but I still get super anxious with reviews— also I got a really shitty review at a company once buttt I was very poorly trained and my boss didn’t want to help me with anything?? Anddddd I was pregnant and I’m going to be honest my brain was not smart when I was pregnant, my IQ must have dropped 50 points lol apparently that’s common tho anyway they couldn’t fire me cause I told them I was pregnant that next day and I ended up quitting instead of coming back after maternity

So between that job and my mother I think that’s the core to my current reaction. My boss is already like ‘please don’t freak out and I’m not firing you’ so at least he knows me lmao

[erwinsvow]

on the edge of my seat for this kook trio fic

wait stop im so anxious im gonna puke i feel like its dogshit bafsbhjb if it flops im just gonna pretend it never happened and keep writing drabbles

i feel like its nothing like the drabbles

[bellysoupset]

hii have i mentioned how much I ADORE jonah being out of his element?? he’s soooo baby sometimes. leo is the best bf ever omg. also this fic was so hot, every time he said something like im gonna throw up or im gonna puke again I was Combusting lmao. and!! jon crying!!! at the end!!! loml fr i just wanna hug him and give him a blanket😭

also i also get a really nervous stomach every time im anxious and you’ve written that SO perfectly. i feel so bad for jon because i know exactly how it feels rip.

and wen!! my girl!! calling jon up all excited :) she’s so <3333 also!??? leo saying bye love you to her?? he’s definitely gonna be thinking about that later going wtf was that. but oh well. it’s out there now, nothing he can do about it. god i love how affectionate their group is with each other. it’s so healing to read fr.

ps. JD i would die for you, you cuddle bug.

sorry this ask is soooo long btw but also:

in re irl story: it was a terrible one, he was trying really hard not to cry when he threw up, which was only making things worse tbh. but he did feel better after that and was finally able to sleep the rest of it off. he woke up soo grumpy it was so cute 🍄

OH forgot to yell about jonah having a whole Moment about his dad and his parents’ interacting!! truly a Child of Divorced Parents TM. never thought he cared that much about what his dad thought? but like. it makes sense. he’s his dad, and more significantly, it’s his dad who’s a doctor who’s image in the medical field is something jonah would obviously expect to live up to? like not literally, but being the son of a successful doctor has to have had some effect on jonah, especially as a med student himself. i think it’s wonderful that you write your ocs with so much thought behind them! gives us so many little easter eggs and makes them seem so real. 🍄

Hi 🍄! I'm so happy to hear I wrote a nervous stomach well, because I'm very much Bella-coded in this regard, I've never been queasy over nerves and it sounds pretty "fictional" to me lol.

I looove writing Jonah in full baby state, he's such a cat! No wonders he vibes with JD, who's also such a little diva.

LMAO Leo definitely laid awake in bed that night wondering if Wendy realized the slip up and Wendy definitely noticed it too.

Jon is very much a divorce child, down to his parents ping ponging him around and using him as leverage against each other. But like you said, I specifically think Jon holds his dad's opinion in high regard only about medicine. The man did build an incredibly successful career that kinda looms over Jonah, kinda inspires him too. If it was anything else, Jonah wouldn't have cared at all about him.

That's only 70% me projecting 😂😂