#im crying cause it feels like forever since we got a personal photos post from him 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[accio-victuuri]

wang yibo instagram update

😎😎😎

[hyetomi]

Pairings: gn reader x taehyun

Genre: soulmate au, angst, a little bit of fluff

Warnings: mentions of death, major character death

Summary: Kang Taehyun was so in love with you. You were so in love with Kang Taehyun. You were both in a lovely relationship, one that friends and passersby would always be jealous of. No one expected the ending of the relationship that should’ve lasted forever to be this tragic, though. Alas, happy endings only happen in fairy tales. This, however, is reality.

Notes: not proofread !! im so sorry it's really bad because i'm so busy with school i'll edit as i post this tysm for understanding!

Dear Taehyun,

Hey, love. How are you? If you’re reading this, that would mean that I’m either gone or I’m nearly there. I hope you don’t miss me too much. You might be wondering: why didn’t I tell you? Well, it’s because I was afraid. I was afraid of everything happening. It all just… went by too fast. One day I was playing Mario Kart with you on the sofa, then I fainted the next. I was so scared. The doctors told me I had an incurable disease which I had since I was a child. There was no more hope for me, unless I got a heart transplant. Of course, I couldn’t. I had 3 months to live. It was hard as it is to find a heart donor. And even if we found one, my parents couldn’t afford it.

So, I lived the next 92 days to the fullest.

I had 2 goals 一 missions 一 to fulfill within those 3 months. One, it was to complete my bucket list. Two, to make sure you know I love you. So, I went around the city trying my best to tick off my list. Roller skating, rock climbing, go-kart riding… I tried (and succeeded) to persuade you to join me in my adventures. Honestly, I wanted to go bungee jumping as well, but my sickness wouldn’t allow me to do so. We had a lot of fun, didn’t we? I was so happy! It might be because the activities were fun itself, but I believe it was because you were there. There is a reason why the universe chose us as soulmates.

Remember when you first met me? I’d be forever thankful that Huening introduced us. Without him, I’d be too shy to approach you and we wouldn’t have met. When we shook hands while introducing ourselves, the glow in your eyes was so pretty. I would do anything to go back to that time. The feeling of meeting your soulmate… I will never forget it. I’m so glad you’re mine, I would have never thought that the boy I had been crushing on would be my soulmate, the one destined for me. 

I never told you why I love you, have I? Buckle up, Tyun. You’re in for a ride.

I first saw you in English class. You helped that one boy in our class and I was literally the heart eyes emoji. I’ve never seen someone so gentle in teaching. When he didn’t understand your words, you explained it over and over to him, not a hint of annoyance crossing your face. If I were you, I’d give up right there and then. But you didn’t. You taught him again and again and again until he understood. I admire your kindness, truly. Not just that, but you’re so pretty! I know you’re probably tired of me saying this every day, but I’m serious about your prettiness. My first impression of you was: ‘So pretty… your eyes are so big… your nose is literally perfect….’ It’s literally illegal to be this pretty, Tyun.

Not only on the outside, but you’re also pretty on the inside. You’re so kind, brave, thoughtful… you’re basically every good adjective out there except I can’t think of anymore because I’m in so much pain. You’re basically perfect. I’m very lucky, aren’t I? I’d like to think I’m the luckiest person in the world because I’m dating you, Kang Taehyun. I mean, no one else would ditch their most important class of the day just to take care of me because I’m sick. Or walk for 20 minutes during Winter only because I wanted my weekly donut. I didn’t even ask you to do these things for me, you did it from the kindness of your heart. 

I’m really sorry. I’m sorry for being sick. I’m sorry for not being able to spend the rest of our lives together. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for leaving you. I’m sorry for everything. I wish that we weren’t soulmates so that you don’t have to bear the pain of losing your soulmate at the age of 19. Maybe, in another life, we could be together again. Maybe then, we could be as free as the wind. In another life, we would be soulmates again. I’m sure of it.

Promise me this: be happy. I don’t want my death to cause you any pain nor stop you from being you. Tyun, you’re one of the biggest positives in my life and I don’t want you to stop being a source of happiness for others. Go live your life, do things you love, be free! But please don’t forget about me. Ha.

I’ll end this letter here. I attached a picture of us in the roller skating rink that I took with the polaroid camera you gave me. There’s still some film left in the camera so you can use it! Take a picture of the stray cat near my house, or of the boys, or my funeral for I care, I just want you to make memories with that polaroid just like I did. Anyways, I love you a lot. I’ll miss you so much, but I will always look after you from above. We’ll meet again when the time is right. I love you!

With lots and lots and lots of love,

Y/N

Taehyun curls up in a ball in your untouched room. It has been 3 months without you. 3 months way too long. He misses you everyday. He misses your smile, your laugh, your eyes, your hugs, your everything. He hasn’t opened the letter because he holds onto it like a lifetime. He fears that when he does read it, you’ll truly be gone. Without his soulmate, it hurts so much. He wipes his tears away, sniffles, and faces the ceiling, holding onto the polaroid you attached with the letter.

“I miss you. You’re looking after me, right? So you can hear me saying this. I miss you a lot. I miss you more everyday.” he voices out, his throat in pain after crying, voice dry.

He looks across the room to see the desk where you two would usually do your homework together, annoying each other and laughing while the night goes on. There sat the polaroid. A pastel blue one, your favourite colour. Next to it lies your photo album. He still remembers every photo, but he decides to open it anyway.

Although his legs ache, he still walks toward the desk. He grabs the album and flips through every page. He holds onto it tightly, like it might slip through his hands and he’ll lose it forever.

He sighs. Taehyun looks toward the polaroid. He puts the album down and grabs the polaroid softly, sniffling once again.

“I’ll make more memories for you, Y/N. Thank you for everything. I love you.” he whispers.

Taehyun grabs the photo album, the letter and the polaroid, trudges towards the door and pulls it open. He took several steps before looking back onto the now unowned room. He smiles, and closes the door. He sniffles again before finally leaving the house. He takes in a deep breath of fresh air and walks home to try and start a new life without his soulmate by his side.

[yntcdtyler]

so here’s my lover secret session’s story... 02/08/2019 london 🏹🇬🇧

i got my dm on twitter on july 16th at 5:15pm and i looked at it thinking someone was trying to boo boo the fool me and it was really gonna say something like “stream ME!” so i opened it not thinking much of it and my heart literally SANK when i saw it was actually REAL. i got the phone call 4 days after from a girl called sara who was from Taylor Nation, she told me everything and i was literally in the storage room in work crying.

so it’s finally august 2nd.. i got up at 5am cause i literally had 4 different trains and 2 ubers to catch, when i finally got to my hotel it was around 11am, i checked in and got ready and went to the meeting point. i was literally the first one there so i panicked thinking i was at the wrong place but more people started to show up and immediately everyone formed little friendship groups who they seemed to have stayed with the whole day which was insane. i met lisa and emma which i’d recognised from twitter because we’d been following each other for so long and then georgia, evie & shiv all came over and we all just bonded and instantly became friends and realised we we’re the brits of the group, there were SO many international fans and it was amazing seeing people come from all over the world! our group was first on the bus and i’m not sure why but we were literally all crying like wtf was going on?? we drove past a few ambulances thinking ‘that’s gonna be our ride home after tonight’ cause at this point i’m like dying and then we finally got to THE HOUSE.

we all go inside, the ME! playlist was on, there was a huge moose head on the wall which we all became really intrigued by, a huge mirror to see ourselves ugly crying, there was food & drinks and little m&m’s with ‘lover’ and hearts on them and i have no idea what was going on in my mind at this point, like i didn’t know what to expect.

so then we all go to the living room we’re there was a bunch of cushions on the floor and a chair and speakers in front of us and i KNEW what was about to go down lads, it’s about to happen, we’re about to hear lover and i just wasn’t ready and i was sat THERE in front of the chair and a few minutes later... SHE COMES OUT FROM BEHIND THIS DOOR LOOKING LIKE LIKE AN ACTUAL GODDESS THAT JUST STEPPED OUT OF HEAVEN AND I DEAD ASS DIED RIGHT THERE THINKING ABOUT THAT AMBULANCE I SAW EARLIER ON CAUSE SHE JUST WASNT REAL. so she’s like “welcome to the lover secret sessions” and the noise that came out me was actually not human at all. she played half the album the first and kept apologising for ranting and going off topic which was so funny, she’s so adorable i was literally in awe. then was like “we’re gonna take a break so you can all go the bathroom, have a drink and stretch your legs” and then mentions she’s made us treats and everyone’s like OMG and she’s literally like “it’s just rice crispy treats i dyed in heart shapes” and it was just the funniest thing bc she’s just so sarcastic but they were the cutest things and just knowing she spent time making them was honestly insane. like i ate a rice crispy heart treat..made by taylor swift? sounds fake. so then as she’s passing them around, she’s goes into the garden and starts talking to everyone and thanking people’s parents and let everyone on her trampoline and just shouts “THESE ARE MY KIDS” with a glass of wine in her hand and it was such a taylor swift moment. it was just surreal like wtf? imagine bouncing on taylor swifts trampoline? i would’ve went on it but i wasn’t about to break my neck before listening to the rest of the album x

okay so we go back in to listen to the rest of the album and throughout the whole album listening part, i just kept crying and she kept looking at me and smiling and singing and i was just bloody in shock. there was one point during a song we’re me and georgia we’re holding onto each other crying and she just looks at us and tilts her head and gives us the most warming smile. right there we both died together it was unreal. but the album HOLY SHIT every song was INSANE. i found it so hard to pick a favourite so i have 3, this album is literally her BEST, and this coming from a speak now stan🤝 i was just the happiest i’ve ever been, it just seemed like a dream. seeing her sat there in front of me so happy and in such a good place, feeling so proud of this album and these songs just made my heart feel so full. what i was feeling in that moment is unexplainable. just pure happiness like i knew life doesn’t get any better than this... right it’s time for the meet and greets and everyone goes back in to the other room whilst they got ready and people started queuing then to go in and meet her, she spent so much time with every single person and seeing everyone’s faces coming out that room was so magical. the event was supposed to be over at 11pm and it’s literally 1:30am when it was my time to meet her. she’d literally been meeting people for HOURS and is 2 and half hours past the end time and she didn’t even mind. everyone was so eager to go inside that me and the girls decided to wait till the end.

so evie had just come out and now it’s my turn. i almost fainted, i was so dizzy and nervous and WHEN I TELL U I WAS PETRIFIED TO GO INSIDE, I ACTUALLY MEAN IT BECAUSE I WAS STOOD OUTSIDE THE DOOR REFUSING TO GO IN FOR ABOUT A MINUTE CAUSE I COULD JUST SEE HER STOOD THERE AND I WASN’T READY BECAUSE LIKE I’VE DREAMT ABOUT THIS MOMENT SINCE FOREVER. emma and lisa we’re stood there laughing trying to force me inside as well as a girl from TN. took me a good minute but i finally walked in, i walk over to her trying not to cry AGAIN and she’s stood there smiling at me and she says to me “it’s tyler isn’t it?” and i was like JDJSKDJD “yeah 😭😭😭😭” cause i didn’t think she knew who i was and i was just randomly picked by TN??? she then pulled me in for the biggest hug and i just felt like this is it, i’m gonna bloody pass out. I TOLD HER THAT WAITING IN THAT QUEUE TO MEET HER WAS LIKE WAITING FOR THE ELECTRIC CHAIR and i was like why tf did i just say that omg but she laughed and was like “omg hahaha it’s like waiting for the electric chair that’s so funny” then i gave her the lover necklace i’d gotten made for her so we had matching and she kept saying how much she loved and how beautiful it was. then said “i love your necklace” with a little smirk because i was wearing her ‘TS’ initial necklace and my heart just went HDAJHDJDDH. then she asked did i enjoy the day and i was like of course??? it was so amazing i couldn’t stop crying and she was like “aw i had so much fun, i love doing these” and then she asked how i’d gotten here and i told her that i had to take 4 trains and she looked so shocked and thanked me for doing that and asked if i was travelling afterwards and i told her i had a hotel and she goes “omg good, PLEASE don’t talk to any strangers” and i’m just like YEAH OF COURSE ANYTHING FOR U MISS SWIFT :’)))) i hugged her about 3 more times and i asked her about tour, and how she found me and she said she’d found me on tumblr and literally said “its tylovestaylor right?” and i was just like WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. IM SCARED. cause i barely use tumblr because i’m the only one who reblogs myself??? and i’d gotten my dm on twitter so my mind was like wtf is going on right now?? i told her i changed my url and she said she’d follow me 🥺 then says “so do you wanna like... take a picture together or something?” YEAH OF COURSE, IM A BIT OF A MESS RN BUT ABSOLUTELY. she asks what i wanted to do for the photo like stand, sit, go near the piano? and i told her to choose because my mind was just all over the place and she says to me “i think one sitting down with our legs crossed over acting all (then does some pose) and stuff” i just couldn’t believe what was actually happening. we sit down next to each other and she grabs my hand and i’m just holding her and the photographer takes the photo and she tells me to have a look to see if i like it and i said i looked so bad and she goes “ITS SO CUTE, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL AND PHOTOGENIC” then the photographer told me i was really photogenic and tay goes “SEE SHE EVEN SAID IT” did taylor swift..who invented photos and beauty... just call me beautiful and photogenic? surely not. so we took one more pic and she said she loved it so i loved it😭😭😭 we got up and hugged again and i just kept saying i love you and she told me i was beautiful and i was like SO ARE U???? and then i told her that i still don’t believe she’s real and she laughed. we hugged again i told her i loved her as i was walking out she shouts “please get home safely” and i said “have a safe flight wherever you’re going next” at the same time and she laughed and was like “OMG THANKYOU?” and i walked out and the emotions i was going through oh my god. i’d just met my favourite person in the entire world? like never in a million years did i think i’d ever meet her let alone get handpicked for secret sessions. i was in so much shock like it wasn’t real. that never happened? i’m still in shock now and literally crying writing this. she was so lovely and welcoming and spoke to me like she’d known me forever.

AND AFTER ALL THAT, SHE DECIDES SHE WANTS ME LITERALLY DEAD AND LIKES MY POST ON HERE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. RIGHT AFTER I’D MET HER.

i couldn’t get over how beautiful she is, inside and out like i already knew that but seeing her in real life is so different, she’s literally flawless and so cute and delicate and i’ll literally die for this woman. thankyou so much, from the bottom of my heart @taylorswift for choosing me out of 100m+ fans, i’ll never understand why i was chosen but i can’t explain how grateful i am. it was by far the best day i’ve ever had in my 18 years of being alive, nothing will ever come close to that moment. i cant wait for everyone else to hear this album, i miss you and your hugs already and i forgot to tell you because my mind was blank but i’m insanely proud of you and will support you forever. promise.

[purplesurveys]

749

Have you ever had FOMO (fear of missing out)? Sure, I’ll get it quite often cause there’s always so much going on. If so, what's caused it? The last time I got FOMO it was when Blanch and Andrew made plans to have a drink Friday evening a few months ago, but they invited me by the time I was already home for at least a couple of hours. Fortunately for me the hangout never pushed through that day haha. Are you happy with your social life? I’m a lot happier with it given how dismal it used to be. I’ve since reconnected with some high school friends like Ciamae and my relationships with my orgmate friends are stronger than ever. If not, what would you have to do to change that? Have you ever hosted a party? If so, what kind of party was it? No. I don’t want to bear that responsibility lol I feel like I’d be awful at planning it and that I’d turn out to be a lousy host. I’d rather go to someone else’s party.

What's the best thing you can cook yourself? Meh, don’t remind me of my nonexistent cooking skills. Are there a lot of graffiti around your neighbourhood? No. It’s a gated subdivision, so not only is that not allowed, but the people living here probably aren’t into graffiti either. They’ll be pretty common once exiting the main gate of the village, though. What kind of a phone do you have? iPhone 8. What kinds of stuff do you have on your keychain? I only have the keys to my car and front door. I used to have a rainbow Mickey Mouse that Gabie got for me as well as a UP keychain thingy, but both of them fell off at some point so I stopped including non-key things on my keychain because I was really sad about losing those trinkets. Have you ever made something with your own hands that you're proud of? Yeah. I forgot which province that was in – I think it was Vigan? – but they had a pottery factory that we visited and I was able to make my own small vase. I wasn’t able to take it home because they said firing it would take a couple of days, so I only have a photo of my work as a souvenir. If so, what is it? ^ I’m pretty sure I already posted a photo of that vase on one of my surveys; I just don’t know if this is also the exact survey I answered before lol. What is your favourite Jack Lemmon film? I haven’t watched any of his work. I’ve always wanted to see The Apartment though. What is your favourite David Hyde Pierce film? Unfamiliar name so I had to look him up...andddd after Google I’ve learned I haven’t watched any of his work. A bit of an impressive portfolio though. Have you ever made your own soda? (Soda Stream doesn't count!) No. Do you have a hobby that forces you out of the house? If so, what is it? I don’t feel forced out of the house by it lol but I do love going to museums and trying out new restaurants and what food they have to offer. It’s not as demanding as having Pokemon Go as a hobby as I like doing either on my own time. Have you ever been part of a theater group? No. If so, did you get any lead roles or mostly supporting roles? Which IM app do you use the most? Messenger. For a brief period during the quarantine my friends and I gave Telegram a shot since they also have games in there, but that only lasted like two weeks since the game bots were too wonky. What's the most ecological thing you do? I think it would be segregating my trash. I’ve forgotten most of the things my old school taught me but that’ll forever stay etched in my head, and I’m really grateful that my university also has separate trash bins to allow me to continue the practice, because so many other public areas don’t. My former music teacher, Ms. Ettie, also taught us to ‘save the polar bears.’ It’s essentially lessening your paper consumption by always folding your notebook leaves in half, but she’s always used ‘saving the polar bears’ with us both as an easy way for us to remember, and because it’s a cute way to put it. What's your favourite board game? Why do you like it best? I don’t really like playing lots of board games and I don’t get to encounter them much either. I always end up having a hard time following any of them – especially the new ones that seem to have much more rules :/ – and board games are too expensive these days anyway. Besides English, what other languages can you speak? Filipino. Besides English, what other languages can you read? Filipino. I’ve also been learning Spanish on Duolingo, but I’m still very rusty and despite being familiar with many words and phrases it’s still hard for me to read complete sentences altogether. Do you think you could make it as a chef? No, the kitchen and I have never been friends. This has baffled me for a long time because both sides of my family are known for their cooking, and my own dad is a chef. I dunno what happened to me or my siblings or cousins lol. What's your favourite kind of tea? Unhealthy, sweet, artificial/powdered iced tea. I also like the tea they give out at fancy hotels that are hot, thick, and almost taste like nothing since they make me feel fancy hahaha but I don’t get to have them a lot, so. How do you like your tea? ^ Just the first one I mentioned. I’m not much of a tea girl so the powdered iced teas are already enough for me. What thing/person/happening has made you the happiest you've been? There’s been many things that have made me extremely happy but I suppose I haven’t been as happy as the time I passed my dream school and the time I asked Gab out again and she said yes. Girls, do you ever just say "Fuck it!" and go without a bra? Yes. It’s hardly noticeable whether I’m wearing a bra or not because my chest is really tiny, and in fact it looks even more unnatural when I wear a bra because all of them are just too big for me, even the ones with the smallest cup sizes. Because of that I can alllllllways get away without wearing a bra in school and no one would bat an eye. What's the most freeing thing you've ever done? So far it’s been driving out of town by myself. Have you ever had a restaurant dish that was made with bugs? Unfortunately no. They had bug dishes in Vigan but the menu said their availability would depend on if they’re in season, and unfortunately we were there at a time when they had no bug dishes and I had to settle with the next most exotic thing they had, frog legs. The next place I wanna get to try bugs in is definitely Thailand. If not, would you even want to try one? Yup, I just said I do. Do you think today's kids are really impatient? In the same way that adults are. A lot of kids are exposed to the internet now, so I suppose they’re influenced to be impatient a lot quicker what with the possibility of their videos buffering, websites loading slowly, and other factors like those. But then again I don’t know if I’m making sense; I haven’t had to handle and observe a young kid in years. Have you ever tasted birch sap? Nope.

How about the young buds/shoots of spruce trees? I haven’t. Which edible flowers have you tasted? I don’t think I’ve tried any of them? And answering no to the last three questions has made me realize how inexperienced of a foodie I still am haha. What has been your worst restaurant experience? I can think of three but there were always external reasons as to why they were bad. 

Mad Mark’s was really bad and we had to follow-up so many times for each of our meals AND our check, but I’m not as resentful towards them since one of the seemingly only two servers present was pregnant. 

Barcino’s service was also quite awful and we waited an hour for our food, but we forgave them since it was Valentine’s and the place was ridiculously busy. 

Probably the worst experience comes from a family dinner at Shakey’s, but only because it was my parents’ fault. I had no problem at all with the service but I think my mom and dad just decided to be extraordinarily snippy that evening and criticize every single thing our server – and eventually, the manager – did. It was really embarrassing and I remember spontaneously crying out of frustration at their childish behavior lol. We ended up walking out with my mom sneering “your service sucks” to the manager and me giving him an apologetic look. It was so brutally embarrassing, eugh.

What's the most immature, adolescent thing that still makes you laugh? Probably Pewdiepie jokes. Have you ever had a life threatening condition? If so, what was it? Nope. Do you ever compare your life to somebody else's? If so, why? Eh, it’s something we can’t help but do sometimes. What is a food item or a dish you absolutely cannot stand? Fruitcake or food for the gods. Have you ever had a custom print done on a shirt? If so, what was it? Not me personally, but I’ve ordered t-shirts with custom prints back in high school for our events. What does your favourite mug look like? I really only have one mug and I’ve described it so many times on here, so I just looked for it on Google this time and this is what it looks like. The design turns blue when the beverage inside is hot, and it gradually fades back to black as it cools down.

Do you ever copy surveys to Facebook Notes and share your answers? Mmm nope. I’ve only taken surveys and posted them on my Tumblr. What's the best thing about today? I found out Keeping Up with the Kardashians is coming to Netflix by June and I CANNOOOOOOOT be any more excited for it haha. Do you ever read other people's survey answers? Yes, always. Everyone I follow on here writes very well and it’s always interesting to read their answers :) Do you like daytime or night time better? Why? Nighttime. I don’t really like the sun and I’ve found the nightlife more suitable to my personality, interests, vibe, etc. What's your highest level of education so far? I’m taking up an undergraduate degree but I’m supposed to be graduating this year. The schedule is still wonky due to coronavirus, but I have hope in graduating. I still 130% don’t know if I will be taking up law but I’ve had family and friends lightly nagging me to try taking law school entrance exams in 2021. If you could have any job in the whole world, which would you like? A travel blogger/vlogger. Describe your ordinary day. Back when life was still...normal, I’d drive 1-1.5 hours before my first class so I can beat the traffic, but usually I’d still end up in bad traffic because that’s Metro Manila for you. What I would do on my free time depends; if my schedule was freer I’d go to Skywalk to hang with friends, but sometimes I’ll have errands to run like printing something at the internet cafe. I have nearly-daily meetings in the afternoon so I’ll have to go to those too; and then 1-2 times a week I’ll drive to Ortigas so I can see my girlfriend. It was a very hectic schedule and I miss it a lot. Would you ever have a UV tattoo? A what now? What is the brand and colour name of your favourite lipstick? I don’t have one. What do you like on your tortilla? Just whatever goes on a fajita. I don’t really have tortillas much. How about inside your pita bread? ^ All the same, just whatever goes in a shawarma as it’s one of my favorite food. What do you like in your burger? I answered this in a previous survey but I wouldn’t hesitate to order a burger if a menu says it has caramelized onions, brioche buns, and some kind of secret special sauce because that always makes me curious haha. I’ll sometimes go for bacon, jalapeño, or eggs too, but not always. How about on your pizza? I only ever order quattro formaggi; I never have the heart to order anything else as it’s my favorite variety of pizza heh. Would you ever take part in a games club? Probs not as it’s not really my hobby. If so, what would be your ideal club? I dunno, this question is quite vague haha. I suppose if there’s an club or org that bands together people who love history, debates about it, or likes watching documentaries on different history topics, I’d jump on it. Would you be able to give a speech on your favourite subject right now? Sure. We used to have several impromptu speech exercises in my public speaking class and no matter how much I dreaded each of them I always did quite well, so I got convinced that I must have some sort of talent or skill in it that I never got to discover until I had that class. Do you work better alone or in a group? Depends on what needs to be done. If there’s a video that needs to be done or a poster that has to be made, I’d be much more comfortable if I was in a group cause then someone else could take over those tasks.

Are you more comfortable as a leader or a follower? It also depends. If I like the topic or task we’re given, I have no problem leading the group. Which one of your friends have you known the longest? For how long? Angela, 15 years. What is your favourite song right now at this very moment? It’s a local song called Sino by Unique Salonga. It’s not a recent song anymore, but I came across a fan video of Unique performing it in a gig and just fell in love with it all over again.

[tommybaholland]

Far From You | Peter Parker x reader

(:((( gif is not mine)

READ “After Ashes” FIRST 

Summary: what happens after defeating Thanos?

Word Count: 4K+

warnings: angst, swearing, post-Endgame, ffh spoilers 

a/n: phewww finally got this donE...i’ve been thinking about it ever since i saw ffh so im real excited to finally have written it and am now sharing it w you :’). this is also for @plushparker ‘s 2K writing challenge congrats bby!! 

Prompt: “I’d never forgive myself if anything happened to you.” 

––––––––––––––––––––

“We wait for Mr. Stark to save us.” 

And so you waited, you and Peter. 

It was pretty agonizing, to say the least. There was nothing to do but wait. You and Peter were completely alone, surrounded by orange. 

“How many people do you think are also trapped here?” You asked as you cradled Peter’s head in your lap.

“Thanos said he’d wipe out half of Earth’s population, so a lot,” Peter responded with his eyes shut, enjoying the sensation of your hand playing with his hair mindlessly. 

You looked up, scanning the orange horizon, still seeing nothing. 

“Where is everyone? It’s just us here,” You noted.

“I’m not sure. Maybe everyone has their own section of the stone,” Peter proposed, opening his eyes to see your reaction. 

You smiled, chuckling. “Then it’s kind of a miracle that we got to have our own little section together.”

Peter smiled back, sitting up and turning to lean towards you. 

“Yeah, it kind of is,” he agrees.

He leans in slightly to give you a small kiss, with his suit-covered hand on you shoulder while yours came up to cradle the back of his neck. 

It was scary, that unknown feeling. You might be gone forever, and never see Ned or MJ or your parents again. Peter may never see May or Tony again. You may never get to experience life, or living, ever again. 

It was a hard pill you might have to swallow. 

But being alone Peter was enough to get you through it, for now. 

Pulling back slowly, you opened your eyes to admire your whole world, smiling at the tiny details around his eyes as you stayed close to one another. 

Suddenly Peter looked behind him, as if he were anticipating something. 

“Peter? What is it?”

He looked around the orange space, searching for the threat that triggered his senses, the little pulses vibrating throughout his body. 

“Something’s...happening,” he voiced before lowering his eyes back to you, making sure you were okay. 

You felt something on your hands, tickling in between your fingers. Looking down, your eyes widened as you saw your hands begin to crumble into dust.

“Peter! Wha—what’s—” 

Your breaths became heavy as you tried to reach out to him, frantic that you would lose him again. 

“I—I,” Peter didn’t know how to respond to what was happening. He watched as tears fell from your eyes, his heart breaking at the sight. 

But he wanted to remain calm for you.

“I’ll find you, babe, okay? It’ll be okay. It’s going to be okay. You’re alright,” he soothed, his arms enclosing around you as you nodded.

“Peter,” you sobbed before the remaining parts of you blew away, reduced to nothing but dust. 

Peter’s senses continued to pulsate through him, and he waited for something to strike, to explode, to end. 

He assumed his attack position, crouched down with a fist pulled back, ready to strike whatever was coming. 

“C’mon, Mr. Stark.” 

The orange soon began to fade, and Peter let out several short breaths, hyping himself up for the finishing fight with Thanos. 

“This is it.”

—

You woke up in a startled panic. Sitting up moments after you opened your eyes, your saw that you were back in your room, laying on your bed. 

You surveyed the space, seeing that not much had changed physically, but the atmosphere was almost haunting. All of your belongings were left untouched, unmoved, unloved. Everything seemed normal, but a dull normal. 

Getting up from your spot on the bed, you went over to the window to look out at the city. Lights in apartment buildings were on, cars were moving, and the night was still young. It was almost as if you dreamt the whole thing, and at this point you were considering it. 

You felt uneasy.

After everything that happened, everything that Peter told you happened, something had to be different. Walking over to your desk, you looked at your pictures on the wall. Pictures of you and your friends, pretty places, you and Peter. 

Was Peter any different? Did they actually do it? 

Turning back to your bed, you reached over the mattress with haste to grab your phone, the screen lighting up to show the current date. 

April 27, 2023 

You eyes widened as you clapped a hand on your forehead. 

You were gone for five years??!

It seemed like only hours, a school day at most, in the soul stone. 

You unlocked your phone, clicking your way to call the last person you saw. 

“Please, please, c’mon..”

“Hey, this is Peter! Leav-“ 

“Fuck,” you swore as you pulled the phone away from your ear, the call disconnecting, your phone shutting off from low battery. 

Talk about major deja vu. Except maybe Peter would come back this time. Or maybe you wouldn’t find him in some unfamiliar place as a prisoner to an alien who wanted half of humanity dead only to come back finding out that you’d been gone five years. 

You sat on the edge of the bed, staring back up at the wall of photos. You weren’t even looking at them, just staring. You didn’t know what to do with yourself. The desensitization kicking in, you passed time easily and quietly. 

You eventually decided to exit your room to see if your parents were there or not. You didn’t even know if they had been in the stone with you. You had no way of knowing who was there with you. Turns out they had been snapped too, leading to you explaining everything you knew about what happened. 

After catching up with your parents, you went back in to your room, you intentions set on sleeping on it. Upon opening your door, you flinched as you discovered Peter, who was sitting on the edge of your bed just as you had done earlier. 

“Peter!” 

You exclaimed as he stood up quickly and taking a few steps to meet your embrace, tightly hugging you around the waist. Your cheek felt cool against the surface of his iron suit as you leaned your head on his shoulder. 

“Oh my god, what happened? Did you win? Is Thanos gone? Is everyone okay?? Did you know that we were gone for five years?” You threw out a bunch of questions as you released him, getting a good look at him for the first time since he showed up in your room. 

He looked like he had just stepped off the battlefield. Messy hair, dirt-smudged face, and glossy eyes adorned his features. He didn’t respond for a few moments, just looking as you as if he was trying to conjure the right words. 

“Yeah,” he finally replied, stepping back to reclaim his position on your bed.

“We won. He’s gone.” 

You followed his lead, sitting next to him, turning towards him with one knee up on the mattress. 

“You don’t...seem too happy about it,” you commented on his forlorn tone. 

You placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to get his attention. 

“How does it feel to win your first fight as an Avenger?” 

You tried to perk him up, not understanding what was causing him so much...anguish. 

He turned his head towards, reluctant to meet your eyes. 

“He’s gone.” 

“Yeah, P, Thanos is gone–“ 

“No,” he cut you off. You noticed tears surfacing in his eyes, darkening the chocolate brown color of the iris. Fear struck your heart trying to guess what he would say next. 

“Mr. Stark is gone.” 

You shook your head slightly, somewhat in disbelief. 

“Wha-“

“He’s gone, y/n! Mr. Stark is gone. He’s dead! And I-I didn’t–I didn’t—“ 

“Shh, Peter. It’s okay.” You shushed him, pulling his head down for him to cry into your shoulder. 

You smoothed down the hair in the back of his head, your other hand rubbing his back comfortingly.

“It shouldn’t have been him. I should’ve saved him, I should’ve–“ 

“Shh, it’s okay, babe. I’m sure you did everything you could to help,” you comforted. 

It was hard to see him like this, especially when you didn’t know exactly what went down during the final battle with Thanos. 

“Baby, let’s clean you up, get you out of this suit and lay down,” you offered, starting to move away from him. 

“Noooo,” he whimpered, pulling you closer to him, pressing his face deeper into your shoulder. 

“I just want you to hold me.” 

“Peter, let’s just lay you down so you can rest, okay?” 

Peter nodded into your shoulder, leaning his head up to let you move back to the head of your bed. Peter followed suit, crawling up to the other side of the bed beside you, wrapping your arms around him. You guided him to lay his head down on your chest, right over your heart. His arm was thrown over your waist, the cool metal of his fingers brushing over your hip. 

He relaxed, closing his eyes as he listened to the loud thump of your heart, feeling you fingers in his hair once again. You laid there, letting everything sink in, again. 

“Dr. Strange said there was only one chance for us to win,” Peter spoke up, his voice hoarse from crying. 

“Why did that one chance have to be the one that killed him?” 

It broke your heart that Peter watched the person he looked up to the most die. It wasn’t meant to be like this, or maybe it was. 

You didn’t know what to say or how to help him. You wish you had powers, and could take away his pain. But for now, all you could do was remain calm for him. 

“It’s going to be okay, P.” 

—

The next eight months would prove to be tough. On everyone. And starting over the school year after the Snap didn’t help. 

However, everyone who was gone adapted rather quickly once they came back. It was weird seeing people, friends and teachers, who survived the Snap and are now five years older. But you and everyone else soon returned to your day-to-day routines, acting almost like nothing happened. 

Peter had it the worst. 

You didn’t want to go with him to the funeral, wanting to spare yourself of the pain, but he wanted you to be there with him. He held onto your hand throughout the entire service, squeezing it every now and then to make sure you were still there. 

You didn’t know Tony too well, only having seen him a few times since he gave Peter the suit he made for him after Peter went to Germany. That was even before you knew he was Spider-Man, before you were dating. You though he was just a regular, nerdy cutie who liked to play with Legos and eat smushed sub sandwiches. 

And you still loved all that about him. 

But he was gone way too often and you were in way too deep to not figure it out, with the help of MJ. 

In a way, Tony brought you two together. Peter would always mention the “Stark Internship” and vaguely how he was working right alongside Tony and the Avengers. And even when his cover was blown, and that ended up to be mostly not true, Peter would still take every chance he could to impress Mr. Stark and protect the city. 

Peter was Spider-Man all on his own but meeting the high expectations of Tony Stark was what, he thought, made Spider-Man great and amazing. 

For the first few months, Peter was mopey and sad. You didn’t see him as much as you used to, even when you wanted to help him. But you had to admit, it took up a lot of your own energy to see him sad and trying to help him through it. 

You really didn’t feel like you were helping at all, and felt more like a burden to him, if anything. 

But for the last few months, he had gotten better. That spark in his eyes and the pep in his, now deeper, voice was coming back. He went out to patrol the city more and even made appearances at FEAST shelter charity events that Aunt May hosted. 

You knew he was still hurting. 

You knew he was trying to distract himself from the unfortunate end for Tony, those images of him dying right before Peter’s eyes. 

The school year was ending and the school science trip to Europe was coming up, and Peter couldn’t be more relieved. 

“We’re going to have so much fun and see all the famous parts of the world!” He beamed laying next to you one night after going out on his nightly patrols. 

You hated to mention it but it was itching at your mind. 

“What if someone here needs help while we’re gone, or while we’re on the trip?” 

Peter picked his head up off your shoulder, leaning on his elbow to look at you. 

“Well...I was thinking…” he began, his eyes shifting from yours. “I’m not gonna take the suit.” 

You knew he had been through a rough spot, but you thought he was starting to enjoy having these abilities and using them for good again. 

“But you love being Spider-Man.” 

“Yeah, I do, babe, but I just need a break. I just want to be Peter Parker, going on vacation and enjoying it with my friends and making out with my beautiful girlfriend at the top of the Eiffel Tower.”

You giggled as he got closer to you, hovering over to bring his lips to yours for a few sweet kisses. 

“You’ll always be Peter Parker to me,” you replied, pulling back slightly but still close enough to see the small, minute details of his pretty face. 

He smiled and continued to kiss you, enjoying hearing your laugh as his lips tickled your cheek and neck. He thought about all the plans he had for you on this trip, some of which you knew nothing about.

He sold all his Star Wars figurines and memorabilia to make money and buy you a glass blown necklace in Venice with an orchid charm, your favorite flower. He wanted to give it to you in Paris, at the top of the Eiffel Tower, the most romantic spot in the world.  

He’s told you ‘I love you’ before but he wanted this time to be special. 

Truthfully, he felt like he had neglected you. You were there for him through it all and he wanted you to know that he appreciated that. He really loved you, everything about you. 

—

The trip was not going well for Peter. 

The first day in Venice was alright and he was somehow able to sneak away for a moment to get the necklace for you. It was prettier than he imagined and it would look even better when he’d put it on you. 

So it was going well, until that water monster thing showed up. And if it weren’t for Mysterio, he probably wouldn’t have been able to control the situation without his suit, which May packed, much to his dismay. 

Mysterio, or Beck, as Peter knew him, was the only good thing about Nick Fury inserting himself into the vacation. 

He understood and praised Peter for being a smart kid who was being bogged down a big responsibility. And you were happy listening to Peter talk about him as you walked together through the streets of Prague, making up for lost time. 

“So he had me try on the Edith glasses, right? And he was like ‘They look stupid’ so then I passed them over to him and he put them on and oh my god, y/n! He looked just like him,” Peter exclaimed.

You smiled at his beaming tone, enjoying that he was obviously excited to have another ‘super person’ he could be friends with.

“So then I thought, ‘It’s him’ and I gave Edith the confirmation to let Beck have command of the glasses. Isn’t that great, babe?”

You frowned slightly at the last part. “Why did you give Edith to him, again?”

“Because this is what Mr. Stark wanted me to do! He gave me the glasses so I could find the next Tony Stark. Don’t you see?”

“Peter, I think he gave you the glasses because he wanted you to have them,” you responded. 

He seemed to be overthinking it. Why wouldn’t he cherish something that was given to him by someone he cared for a lot?

“I’m not the next Iron Man, y/n, Beck is. He’s the only one who knows how to beat the Elementals, Nick Fury trusts him, he fits the Avengers to a T; he’s perfect!”

You shook your head. “I just, I don’t know about this, P. You haven’t known him for very long and since when does Nick Fury trust anyone?” 

“Listen, babe,” he answered, putting his hands on your shoulders. “It’s going to be okay, I have a good feeling about this. And if I didn’t, I would feel it.” 

You sighed. “I have something to show you.”

Taking off your backpack that you’d brought, you pulled out a small metal device that had some of Peter’s webs hanging off of it. 

You handed it to Peter as you began to explain. “I found it after you knocked it off of that fire thing. I don’t know what it is, but it seems...strange.”

Peter looked at it, thinking it looked like a light or something before it sparked, causing him to drop it. Hitting the ground, the device projected a cloudy, ghost looking monster, similar to the other Elementals. 

Peter was confused, trying to put it together in his head. 

“I-I don’t understand…”

“Peter...I think all those fights, the Elementals….” you started, getting his attention. “They were fake.” 

How could that be? Peter fought them himself, they seemed so real. 

“No, no. That can’t be true,” he denied, shaking his head.

“It has to be,” you corroborated. “Why are there projectors falling off of the Elementals? Why do they suddenly surrender when Mysterio shows up? It all makes sense, Peter!” 

He didn’t want to believe you, but everything you were saying didn’t make Beck look good. And what made it worse was—

“Oh god.” 

Peter trusted him. 

—

Peter was left alone, again. But this time he was betrayed by someone he thought he could trust to be like Mr. Stark. 

“I’ve gotta get to Berlin,” Peter voiced, frantically tearing his clothes off to put on the ‘night monkey’ suit. 

You just stood there in your room, not knowing what to say. 

“You were right, y/n,” he admitted as he finished putting on the suit, holding the mask in his hand. 

“I shouldn’t have given him the glasses. I’m sorry I doubted you.”

He was closer to you now, a hand caressing the side of your head, brushing some of your hair back. 

“It’s okay,” you accepted, grabbing his forearm. “What are you gonna do?”

Peter shrugged slightly. “Try to stop him, I guess? I’ll figure it out once I find Mr. Fury.”

You nodded, not wanting to say goodbye. 

“Cover for me and warn the others. I’ll try to get in touch with Happy. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

You nodded again, a quiet confirmation just barely passing your lips. You squeezed his forearm as he leaned in to place a small kiss on your forehead. 

He put the mask on, turned and went to the window to jump out of the hotel, taking all your hope with him. 

Going to London didn’t feel right. You didn’t know what was going to happen or what was currently happening, but you didn’t feel very good about it. No one really noticed that Peter was gone, excluding Ned and MJ, not even Flash, who was too busy vlogging for his Spider-Man fan account. 

It was very cloudy and overcast in the city, looking like a storm was coming. It was getting windier by the second and it wasn’t just because you were on top of a double decker bus. Ned and MJ looked out at Tower Bridge with you, seeing a big cloud start to take shape. 

“Is this Mysterio?” Ned asked. 

“It must be, but it’s not real.”

You had told them about Mysterio and how he was using drone tech to fake the Elemental attacks. 

“Where’s Peter?” MJ questioned. 

You looked around the sky, hoping that he would swoop in soon to stop this. 

“I don’t know.”

The next ten minutes became increasingly intense as the storm escalated, causing the entire class to exit the bus and run in the opposite direction of the chaos. You looked back as you ran, seeing a small figure fly right into the cloud of drones disguised as an Elemental. 

Peter glided into the scene, closing his eyes as he entered the cloud, finding hundreds of drones projecting the illusion. He used the taser webs he built into his custom-made suit to short-circuit the group, effectively stopping the projections. 

Peter fought for his life once he found Beck on the bridge. Destroying all his drones in a matter of seconds and stopping a gunshot to his head proved to be a moment of clarity for Peter. 

He could trust himself when it came to danger. 

“You can’t trick me anymore,” he announced before ripping the glasses off of Beck, putting them on to order Edith to turn off the drones. 

He watched as the drones retreated, flying back to wherever they came from. He sighed, finally able to take a breath and feeling exhausted after actually fighting something. Looking out at the real damage on the bridge he noticed a person standing in the middle of all the debris. He made the figure out to be you, seemingly looking around for him. 

“y/n…”

He was about to make his way down when he noticed two drones flying towards you from both sides. His eyes widened as he saw they were going to meet in the middle right where you were standing. 

“Y/N!” 

He jumped on top of the handrail in front of a broken window. He didn’t have any web fluid left in his web shooters as he flung himself from the window, trying to glide down to grab you. 

He screamed out for you, trying to get your attention to move. He didn’t want to accept that he wasn’t going to make it in time. The drones collided with each other, causing a big explosion that threw him back further down the bridge. 

He landed in some debris, coughing to quickly get up and see the aftermath. Once the smoke had cleared, he saw your body on the ground, not moving. 

“Oh no, y/n!” 

He ran as fast as he could over to you, punching his way through anything that was in his way. 

“Oh my god, y/n.”

He reached you, dropping to his knees as you coughed, barely conscious. There was a large gash on the side of your head, blood flowing out. Peter cradled your head as you spoke hoarsely. 

“Peter…”

“No, y/n, no, no, no.”

Tears filled up in his eyes, getting more hysterical as your eyes started to droop closed. 

“Babe, no. You’re-You’re alright, it’s going to be okay,” he sniffled. “No, y/n, please. You’re okay, just, p-please.”

He was fully crying now, leaning down to cry over your lifeless body. 

“Peter?”

His ears perked up as he straightened up, looking back to see you walking towards him. 

“y/n?”

“No, no, no. Stop,” Peter held his hand up at you. 

“This is another trick. You’re not real, you’re-you’re dead!” Peter acknowledged, gesturing to your body laying on the pavement. 

“Peter, this isn’t a trick, it’s really me,” you spoke. 

“Prove it. Tell me something only you would know,” he whimpered, distressed. 

You held out your hand, opening up your palm to reveal the necklace. 

“Happy gave this to me,” you explained. “He said that you were going to give it to me. Is that true?”

Peter was breathing heavily and nodded, too tired to speak. 

“It is you…”

He looked back to find the dead you gone, confirming that was the illusion. He looked back to you, who stepped closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

He pulled you into his arms, burying his bloody and tear-stained face into your shoulder. 

“I love you, y/n,” he spoke into your shoulder, words coming out muffled. 

“I’d never forgive myself if anything happened to you.”

You pulled away from him, about to respond when he kept talking. 

“I had this whole plan to give you that at the top of the Eiffel Tower but that didn’t happen because of….everything and I wanted to show how much I love you and appreciate you. I’m sorry it was ruined, guess I can’t just be Peter Parker…” He trailed off, lowering his eyes from your expression. 

“No, you can’t,” you replied, meeting his eyes. “I told you, you’re always going to be Peter Parker to me, and that includes Spider-Man. I love you, Peter, all of you.” 

He smiled at your response, his eyes still slightly glossy from crying. He leaned in, holding you close to him as you shared a short but passionate kiss with enough love to last a lifetime. 

—

And that all happened about a week ago. 

Now you stood outside of your apartment, waiting for Peter to come get you so you could have date night. You figured you both deserved it, given what a disaster the trip came to. 

You phone suddenly vibrated in your hand, signaling a call from Peter, which was odd considering you had just been texting him. 

“Hey, babe. Are you coming?”

“Y/N! Ohmygod…”

“Peter, what’s wrong?” You questioned his frantic tone. 

“I was swinging through the neighborhood to come get you when...Beck—”

“Mysterio? I thought he was dead!” You interrupted.

“So did I!” Peter agreed. “But he filmed a video of himself before I got to him on the bridge..or somethings, accusing me of all these bad things…”

“Oh, Peter…”

“And then he-he…” Peter paused, in disbelief that he was going to say it aloud.

“What did he do, P?” 

“Revealed my identity.”

“He wHAT?!!?” you exclaimed, clapping a hand to your forehead. 

“The whole world knows I’m Spider-Man.” 

You and Peter really can’t seem to catch a break.

—

A/N: should i write another part and make some shit up or shall we wait two more years so i can write something based off what they do next with our sticky boi??

<3 tommybaholland

what will happen to peter and y/n?? (feedback much appreciated)

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[wickymicky]

all the questions in @ohsua‘s ask thing! this was really hard and i put more effort into some questions than others, but it was fun! putting it under a Read More cause it got reaaaaally long

What's your favourite title track?

piri! probably anyway. possibly what?

Sleep-walking or Silent Night?

sleepwalking personally, though i like both

Favourite teaser image for The Tree Of Language so far?

uhhhhhhh hmmm. im not sure, maybe dami? or siyeon? from the first round?

Favourite choreography? If you can, explain why

i dont really have an easy answer cause i’d have to watch them all again but the first one that comes to mind is piri. i cant really explain why though lol, i just think its cool to watch

Favourite cover?

tbh i havent heard a lot of their covers, oops

Favourite album?

hmmmmmmm. maybe prequel? or raid of dream? prequel has wake up and sleepwalking though... hmm

Who's your bias?

it was dami forever, and then now it’s jiu, though dami might be bias wrecking me lmao. bias unwrecking? rebiasing?

What's your favourite mv?

oh hmmmm... you know i love piri but honestly that music video is not one of my favorites. i think i’m leaning towards you and i or good night here. i love the scene where the ghost hunter dude’s room is exploding cause i guess the members are messing with shit on the other side of the mirror or whatever, but there’s just a shot of the dude and it’s slowly zooming out as stacks of paper and books and stuff go flying, it’s great. digipedi always makes fantastic videos

What concept would you like to see?

i have so many answers to this that idk if i can choose lol. anything lol, anything. they could do anything. i dont want them to lose the spirit of their concept and sound, but there are infinite directions they could take their concept without losing that spirit. 

Mayday or Wake Up?

wake up dude are you kidding me? i also just um... dont really remember mayday. i’ve heard it but i dont remember right now... wake up is great though

Deja Vu or Piri?

piri! i love deja vu though. piri was the song that got me into them and deja vu was my first comeback with them, so i have an attachment to both, but i would have to say piri, yeah

Who's your favourite vocalist? Rank the members from favourite to least favourite

oh shit really? uhh idk if i can do that but... i mean i gotta say siyeon right? her voice *is* dreamcatcher to me. her voice defines their sound more than anything else, even more than their rock concept. like for real, her voice is more integral to the feel of a dreamcatcher song than the guitars or sort of dark vibe. well, her voice brings the dark vibe a lot of the time, honestly. after that i’d say jiu cause her voice is the total opposite, she has the voice you would least associate with a concept like this, but that serves to add a lot of range to their sound too. her voice is so vividly bright and cheerful... so, dreamcatcher’s dark concepts are defined by siyeon for me, and dreamcatcher’s lively personality and energy onstage and offstage are defined by jiu for me. those first lines of “wake up”? iconic, full of energy, aaaaaa i love her. after that i guess i’d say yoohyeon cause she’s the lead vocalist lol. and then... about the same for the rest. i dont have an order from then on. they’re one of the groups where i think it’s the easiest to tell which member is singing just from audio alone, all seven of them have distinct vocal characters. the only two that i sometimes mix up (again, just based on audio only) are sua and gahyeon. or dami when she sings lol

Did you get to see them live? If yes what's your favourite memory & is there a song you enjoyed on the concert way more than you expected?

noooo i didnt get to :( if they ever come back around though i will move heaven and earth to get there

Dreamcatcher Notes or Vlogs

i tend to watch dreamcatcher notes more because there’s more going on a lot of the time, cause they’re like behind the scenes stuff. also.... there are some members whose vlogs im more likely to watch right away than others lol... though im working my way through all of them little by little so i’ll see all of them eventually. if jiu posts a vlog it’s immediate haha i’m on it immediately

What’s your favourite era of each member?

oh wow okay this is a hard one... here goes!

jiu - already we’ve hit a really difficult one lmao. does blue/purple Jiu count since it was technically post-deja vu? i guess purple is now gonna be immortalized in their new comeback huh? i think actually i’ll say fly high. i think that’s the obvious choice but... idk, she doesnt have a bad era lol

sua - hmmm.... im having trouble remembering which eras were which for certain members... i know she had reddish purplish hair for piri right? i cant remember some of them though... like she didnt have as many drastically different looks as someone like siyeon or dami. maybe i’ll say good night though, purely because of her rap haha. EDIT: oh shit i looked at photos from the eras after all, and oh my god i forgot about you and i... nevermind lol scratch that, it’s you and i. those designs she had in her hair were super cool

siyeon - deja vu, specifically the part where she had short blue hair. amazing. flawless. legendary. stories will be told of those days

handong - her ‘what’ era is probably her most popular, but actually im gonna say deja vu. i liked her short blonde hair, it looks really good on her. the first thing that came to mind is her with that hair and those purple/black deja vu outfits... im thinking of some photos from some fansigns... yeah. 

yoohyeon - deja vu again lol, sorry about the recency bias haha. this is the era she viciously and savagely bias wrecked me. especially during those fanmeetings where she had a ponytail and was wearing a suit... oh my god lol she knew exactly what she was doing. they all know exactly how good they look in suits and they subject us to it as often as they can lol. her grey hair during you and i is iconic too, and the red she had during good night... but i think im gonna stick with my answer

dami - piri!!!!!!! oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god??? oh my god!!!! especially post-piri with her black hair??? fucuuucuckckckckckkckkkkkk dude she’s so handsome i could CRY. this current era we’re about to get is looking like a gamechanger too though... her hair’s kinda wavy and that look on her face in that first teaser... and her floral shirt... damn dude. honorable mention to you and i cause of the baton trick she’s famous for lol

gahyeon - now with gahyeon its actually pretty hard for me to say, she has had the same or similar hair in every comeback pretty much, right? hmmm. the things that immediately come to mind are good night and piri and i’m not sure why. actually i might be thinking of chase me? OH NEVERMIND okay i caved and i looked at photos from different eras and i forgot that she had green in her hair during fly high, okay yeah nevermind lol it’s fly high

What do you hope to see on their albums in the future?

what do you mean? like in terms of types of songs? uhhh.. idk.. most of the stuff i would say to this is stuff that i have no doubt will actually come. i want more bangers like piri and what, i want more edm stuff like sleepwalking and silent night, but yeah i’m sure we’ll get that. i guess what i’ll say is... more songs with involvement from the members. either in terms of composition or even just lyrics. though i like the composers and lyricists they have a lot! i’ll also say if nothing else, then a song choreographed at least in part by the members would be amazing. idk if it’ll happen for a title track, but if sua choreographs one of their edm bsides or something, and they perform it live on music shows, fuck...

What would you say to each member if you didn't have to worry about a time limit?

each member individually??? that’s too time consuming woirjgeoiwrgew but i do have individual answers for all of them probably lol. especially yoohyeon, i wanna talk to her about languages. i’ll just say to all of them how much i appreciate them and how they arent boxed in by typical idol conventions, but they also arent boxed in as outside them either. like, they’re not an anti-kpop-group, they’re not the complete antithesis, they like being a kpop group and they like other kpop groups so they would never want to be that. i like how much fun they have, i like how close they are, i like how they treat their fans, i think if the fandom did something really awful or went too far i like to think they would feel comfortable letting us know. hopefully, anyway. more than most other kpop groups i’m aware of, it’s easy to find them in videos and vlives and stuff not being totally in idol-mode and just being people, and friends with their members. im not criticizing other groups, cause if i was in their position, i think i would have a hard time not being “on” when on camera, even if it’s just a vlive. maybe it’s because they’ve known each other for a lot longer than a lot of other current-gen groups, and they’re older than many of their current-gen peers too. they feel very earnest, they’re not trying to hide. im sure there are aspects to them that we dont know about and will never know about, and i hope that’s the case cause i hope they’re able to maintain some privacy in this job, but it’s not hard to tell when someone is being genuine and when someone isn’t, and i get a very genuine vibe from them a lot of the time. i’m glad they are who they are, they’re really influential and inspirational to me.  i.... also might wanna mention their support for lgbt people, though i would want to talk to them about that in private because it’s personal for me and risky for them and i know how shitty that situation is, especially since i know that they care and would be a lot more vocal if they could be. and they’re one of the most vocal groups about it already! i just want to thank them.

Is there a song you think is underappreciated?

hmmm. i’m not really sure which are and which arent, i actually think insomnias do a good job appreciating everything haha. 

Rank Breaking Out, You and I, Fly High, What and Deja Vu from favourite to least favourite

oof okay, i guess this is the Controversial Opinion Time huh?

What (i guess this is a controversial song? is it? it’s one of my favorites, number 1 or number 2, so idk lol)

Fly High

Deja Vu

You and I

Breaking Out

Let's say you are forced to choose a title track that gets erased from existence so that the rest can stay, which one do you pick? i'm sorry

does this count jp ones? cause.... im not into breaking out... sorry... i think i would say.... idk.... my least favorite main title track was still a big moment for them and had great moments in the choreo.... i dont know if i would want to erase it fully.... iojdoikoldofbm i feel like the one you could erase the easiest, and that wouldnt change their history all that much, would be What... but i love What... lmao idk... at one point i would have said Fly High but it grew on me a lot and i think it was necessary for them at that point. i also love it for the lore haha. so im sorry i dont have an answer.... unless breaking out counts oijwefmgodlr,rfl;kfd

Full Moon or Over The Sky?

i only got into both songs fairly recently, for whatever reason i hadnt heard full moon for a long time, and when the over the sky special clip came out i decided that i didnt like the song at all but i just listened to it not that long ago and was surprised at how much i liked it, so actually i dont hate either song lol. still, i’ll say full moon

Choose between their Taemin covers: Move or Sayonara Hitori

oh uh i havent heard/watched these ioerokgopdrgkdh. i hadnt even heard Move until like two weeks ago. oops. i guess i should watch their cover huh? tbh i didnt even know they did that lol im bad at this

Who do you wish they could collab with?

lol i would love to say loona because theyre my other ult but actually im gonna say ateez. they have so much in common! they have the same producers for all their title tracks, theyre both very choreo-focused, they both are very concept-heavy... i would love some sort of crossover thing. imagine a 15 member crossover EP or something... the pirates meeting the nightmares... or whatever each of their new concepts are gonna be... damn. again this would go over extremely well musically too, cause Ollounder could just try to combine his styles for his two groups lol

Who first caught your eyes and why?

dami obviously, i’m only human

Trap or Diamond?

diamond i guess, i dont really listen to either of these that often

Pick 3 members for your zombie apocalypse squad

sua cause she could beat people up, siyeon cause she could beat people up, yoohyeon cause she’s a clumsy mess and we would need a challenge

Blonde Siyeon or Blue haired Siyeon

blue!!!! but only by a bit

Favourite dancer?

theyre all so good, they all could be the main dancer for any other group. sua is considered their main dancer, but idk, any of them could be. maybe i’ll say jiu?

If the next album features lyrics by one (or more) of the members, who do you hope it is this time?

only one??? can i say all of them?

Do you hope for more vocalist Dami or would you rather see her rap?

both! idk lol. i want to see more rapping from sua and possibly siyeon too, so more vocalist dami could allow for that? but rapper dami is obviously more iconic

Sua's choreography for Copycat or Taki Taki?

taki taki i guess?

Favourite lyrics?

hmmmm..... i’d have to look deeply into this and i dont feel like doing that right now... i’ll just say that “pirireul bureora” is so catchy so in terms of catchiness of the lyric i’ll say that lol. i know that’s not what this question was asking though, i just dont have an answer

Are there any songs you hope one or more of the members cover?

oh wow uh... hmm. shine by pentagon lol

Favourite intro?

end of nightmare maybe? i like that it has the piri melody in it, and i like how the edm part melts your fucking face off. is that the most abrasive moment of any dc song? maybe?

Version E, V, I or L of The Tree Of Language?

oh idk, i dont really have a preference, sorry

Wonderland or And there was no one left?

er9iokgbiktwikpbherohtbkret i actually listen to these all the time and my answer goes back and forth. i’m gonna say wonderland right now

Favourite instrumental?

sleepwalking?

Vocalist Jiu or dancer Jiu?

haha idk, both? i mean i mostly listen to music and watch music videos, i dont watch as many performances, so i guess i’ll say vocalist?

Do you have a favourite ballad?

uhhhhh not really, im sorry

What are your 5 favourite pictures of your bias?

ah fuck, this question would be easy to do if i was answering this just based on someone sending them in... um... i’ll just reblog five real good ones in a row after this post... sorry lol....

What was the first song you heard?

piri! it came out a bit before i got into kpop, so it was still fairly new at the time anyway

How did you find out about them?

to be honest i dont even remember. did i just click on a thumbnail for piri that was in the related videos to some other kpop song? i dont remember... i might have heard that there was a rock based kpop group even before listening to it? i forget but i didnt like it at first lol. i thought it clashed really badly and it didnt appeal to my metal sensibilities. some parts stuck in my head though and i kept coming back and it was a guilty pleasure at first and then oops i fell in love and then oops it appeals to every sensibility i have now lol. though mostly i still like them more for their pop aspects than their rock/metal aspects. but anyway still, i dont remember how i first heard about them, i just remember the first time i listened to piri

What do you think about Handong being on Idol Producer and missing all of their activities? Do you think it's worth it?

sigh.... i mean, time will tell, right? i hope she does well enough that it gets them a lot of exposure, but... selfishly, i guess... i hope she doesnt become part of the final group because i want to see her back in dreamcatcher lol. we’ll see, and hopefully this is a good experience for her! i know things are weird right now cause of the virus outbreak... i havent been following the news but is it postponed or something? i think i heard that somewhere? or maybe i just saw speculation, idk

Vocalist Gahyeon or rapper Gahyeon?

either! she has a lot of potential with both

Yoohyeon's cover of Secret Love Song or 2002?

um.... okay..... this is me again being a bad insomnia, i dont think ive watched either of those iokgopprlgwephk

The no budget July 7th mv or the Curse of the Spider mv from the fanmeeting?

i havent seen the curse of the spider one woah, i didnt know that existed! and is the no budget july 7th mv different than the special clip one? i dont really like that song much so i wouldnt know geijrgpokprgwoephk

Chase Me or Good Night?

good night till the day i die lol. chase me is a phenomenal debut though and works better for that purpose than good night, and i love that the lyrics are about all the ways they haunt your dreams, but i love good night so much

Favourite Siyeon cover?

im not super knowledgeable again here im sorry :( is it cheating if i say overdose, mostly just by default?

Handong's pre chorus in Deja Vu or the bridge in Piri?

piri lol

What's your favourite bside from each album?

oh fuck okay hold on

uhhh i dont have one for Nightmare, it was just chase me, an intro, and one other song. is it cheating if i say the intro lol

same for Fall Asleep in the Mirror, i guess the intro

Prequel okay now we’re getting somewhere.... Wake Up or Sleepwalking.... fuck.... Sleepwalking is actually probably the song that really converted me into a fan cause its the first time i really heard their range. after listening to Piri and You and I and maybe Chase Me, i decided to just watch all their music videos in order, and the playlist i used included the special clip mvs too, so hearing Sleepwalking for the first time right after Fly High was wild, it blew me away and i listened to it like 8 times in a row haha. Wake Up has been rising up my rankings a ton recently but i think i still have to go with Sleepwalking

Escape the ERA.. hmm... Mayday? earlier i said ive only heard this song a bit and that’s true, i’m listening to it right now though. wow i dont remember this song at all haha, this is good what the fuck, how did i forget this? oops what the hell

Alone in the City FUCK this intro is so GOOD god DAMN. its short, it doesnt go that hard, but it makes you so tense and suspenseful. but my answer is Wonderland lol

for End of Nightmare it’s And There Was No One Left

for Raid of Dream it’s hard to choose again... Silent Night is probably by far the most popular pick for this, and i think Curse of the Spider is a little bit underrated, so my instinct to pick the unconventional pick makes me wanna choose it, but i just dont know if that’s true lol. i think i have to go with Silent Night

[spideyjlaw]

My Avengers Endgame World Premiere experience

this is really long, lota rambling feel free to read skim anything idc, no spoilers bc this was on Monday before I saw the movie :) 

Ok Ima start Saturday night, this is when I was packing making and painting my posters that said “Thank You Avengers”, I live in California so I didn’t have to fly to this event. At 12am we (my family) we arrive in Los Angeles around 5am. At this time I thought that the premiere was going to be at El Capitan Theatre where it was originally supposed to be. We drive by the theater and we see no one is in line which was weird bc normally there would be people here already so i search and find the location which was switched last min (smh) the drive to the next location wasnt too long but at least i knew i was at the right location bc of the small group of fans and the giant poster that said Avengers Endgame World Premiere. Apparently they changed the location bc they needed a larger screening room and they didnt want tons of fans showing up, there were these girls that were waiting at the El Capitan for 2 hours before they realized something was up. Anyway, we get in line. People who were in charge told the people who stayed over night to go home bc there wasnt going to be a fan area. No one left ofc who would hell no. Then some people went on twitter to talk about it made signs it was confusing but we ended up in a fan area after going through security. We got into the fan area at 12 ish and we had to stand there for another 4 and a half hours before anything exciting happens. Now its around 4pm people are starting to arrive. (THIS IS WHEN THE ACTION STARTS) Benedict Wong then Joe Russo. Not many came all the way down the line, I was the last one on the line before it wrapped around the corner. But I did want to get barricade and able to see action so Im grateful for my spot. Then Anthony Mackie arrives he’s walking to end of the fan area around the small corner but as hes walking right as he gets near me i scream at the top of my lungs, he stops right in front of me and i go “AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!ANTHONYYYYY MACKiE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!” he looks at me biggest smile. We had a whole moment together its hard to explain its kinda like a ‘you had to be there moment’ i was the longest person probably a good 20 seconds (which is a long ass time in these times when they are in a rush) he was at and while im screaming and fangirling he air grabs my head to fucking sign my forehead i closed my eyes and accepted it he didnt do it ofc but he was just a fun guy i love him soooo much he signs my posters while saying “There’s no black guy on here” (i did an original 6 themed avengers poster) but he signed than signed my bosslogic poster which he was in. paul rudd comes by hes just a rocking dude i love scott lang sm, he was so sweets v cool guys sm love for him. Then at around 5pm Chris freaking Hemsworth arrives I loose my shit and so does everyone else. Just like Joe, Benedict Wong & Anthony he also went around the corner to make sure they got all of the fans (thank u to all who did this). Ive loved Hemsie for the longest time, i did get teary eyed but i didnt cry (yet) he was just the sweetest I was able to take a crappy photo with him bc i wasnt able to function properly as i took the pic my dumbass was like “iLOvEyoUsOmUCh” its oka cause he has the cutest smile and the bluest eyes oh and i cant stress enough he smelled so good sooooo good normally i hate when guys coat themselves in cologne cause it smells bad, but his didnt, his smelled so good i was so shook like chris drop what cologne u used idc its for guys mama neeeddds. THEN IT hAPPENEd CHRISTOPHER ROBERT EVANS DRIVES BY. Everyone was like “omg is that chris evans?!”  I stand on the barricade to see if i can catch a peak, istg the moment the fucking moment he gets out the car i start to bawl my eyes out. This man who has meant more to me than anyone is over there i couldnt believe i was seeing my favorite human ever. I’ve only sobbed right as i saw my fave once before back in 2016 at the Passengers premiere when I met Jennifer Lawrence. People dont really understand the moment like this person has inspired me so much of course im going to cry and sure judge me for it but they helped me through so much. Anyway he looked soo hot in his blue suit and sunglasses. I kinda calm down bc i didnt know if he was going to come all the way down the line and yk my ass wanted a pic but he was cut half way though the people which was upsetting but again im extremely grateful to be able to see him. Then my main fucking man. Sebastian Stan arrives. see ive met the guy before last year at ace comic con (there was tea w my photo op being really messy and i hated it i got a refund u can read about that on my ace comic con post). anyway i see him. i dont cry im trying to wipe my tears i was more prepared cause ive seen him before it was gonna be ok. I lose my shit the man was wearing a baby blue pastel colored suit. fucking beautiful. iconic. very hot of you mr seb ty. hes walking down and hes getting close. he wasnt to smiley, he was taking pics but he was focused on the fans signing for as many fans as possible. He gets to me and he sees our pics then he looks u so we could take a pic and his smile just transforms you can just see his face just glow up it was the truly the cutest this ive ever experience. then we look up from the pic and hes smiling at me i tell him “I love you so much” i hear him chuckle but as he says something his security guy yells “thank you that enough” so ill be posting the vid of us and any lip readers can help a girl out ill love you forever. I ended up being Sebs last person from the fan area. he truly made my day, week fucking year. then other celebs such as jon favreau, benedict cumberbatch comes by. Jeremy Renner comes by. I shoot my shot and make small talk w Jeremy. I go “Hi Jermey how’s your day going?” he goes “I’m doing really good, how bout you?” he signs my things i excitingly tell him “I’m doing great thank you” then he goes “Thank you honey” and smiles at me. It made me really happy, i could tell he was a bit tired but Jeremy is such a sweetheart he doesnt get the credit he deserves i love him sm, ive always has a little part of my heart for Hawkeye. minutes go by. I see Lizzie Olsen, Danai Gurira, beautiful ofc. then i see fucking Mark Ruffalo hes just standing behind one of the SUVs and the sun is on him. He looked like a confused puppy it was so cute and soft, i love my ruffalo buffalo. I took my moment to scream “iS THat MARK ruFFALO?” i dont think he signed for many fans. Scarjo arrives she doesnt sign for many either she looked beautiful v pretty. a little while passes than the most bitching car comes by and stops where the cars stop until the drop off area clears and they can go. we all knew who ever was in that car he was important. then it was his time to go cause the drop off area was cleared. guess who was in the drivers seat. You guessed right. Robert Downey Jr rolling up in an Audi E-TRON, with his wife Susan Downey in the passenger seat. Truly the Tony Stark entrance. he doesnt sign for many ofc. at this time it was getting later near 6pm almost all celebs and guests are inside where the actual premiere set up is. then Vin Diesel comes in. He was the most fan based guy. even though he was running late he ran (literally speed walking) through the whole line of fans around the corner and everything. he had the biggest smile on. wearing his groot jacket. and if u dont know fast and furious are one of my fave franchises of all time so i was having the best time. then that was the last person and we started heading out. i didnt name all who ive seen since there was just to many and i probably missed some things but i loved my experience. i was able to see all the original avengers irl and that made me really happy. this whole cast means the world to me. ill love them forever 

[doctorwhogeneration]

just something for Missy & Michelle ❤️

Just a post of me living a first day knowing that Missy is gone and knowing that Michelle is leaving doctor who. So here we are, Missy faced her last battle. And it’s time to say “Goodbye, Mistress. You were good.”. But let’s go back to the past and reminisce moments with her. The first point would be her first appearance in doctor who: the episode Deep Breath.We see mysterious woman whose first words were: “Hello, i am Missy!”. Everyone was so WTF at that time wondering who that woman was, there were different theories: some of them included somehow her to be River Song, others believed in the fact that she is female version of the Master and let’s applause this people cause their premonition didn’t betray them 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Some people suggested her being Rani. But Missy’s first appearance didn’t just introduce “new” character but discovered me marvelous, astounding actress, gorgeous person inside and outside in other words Michelle Gomez. We had only few minutes maybe even minute and a half of her but she just charmed me in every possible way-let’s call it Michelle Gomez charm ❤️👀 Moving forward in the past we have seen her short appearances in “into the Dalek” where she mysteriously and elegantly suggested a cup ☕️. And, oh my God, I can’t resist Michelle’s smile 💙 Michelle Gomez charm is working all along!!! Who can walk the corridors that elegantly as Michelle Gomez? I can rewatch that scene again and again just to see that look and see her walking the corridors. Oh, can we talk about red nails and red lipstick?🔥❤️ Short appearance of her “Flatline” made everyone scream so hard because she was viewing Clara all along and said “My Clara…”. Mother Nature saves the earth here YAY, Missy’s viewing everything through the screen. Stop the moment here. I wanna take time to say how gorgeous is Michelle Gomez. Every scene is so elegant and just so flawless, it’s like you can look at Miss Gomez forever. And we are moving to great finale of season 8, we are about to find who Missy is. Short for Mistress…we know the answer YES YOU ARE MASTER! Everyone asked Michelle about how was it to keep that secret from the world, well she did keep that secret brilliantly. Let’s talk about “Dark Water” episode where we see more Missy as character and Michelle Gomez IN ALL HER BEAUTY. That’s when we had iconic 12th scene, THE KISS. THE KISS. I still remember shouting at my screen OH MY GOD. WHAT JUST HAPPENED. AND THAT NOSE KISS HAHA I love the fact that Michelle keeps talking about that, the fans love such talks 😂😂 Still iconic. Missy/Michelle is still the only one who kissed/was kissed by the Doctor/Peter👀 I call “Dark Water” as one of the crucial tv series episodes for me. Because that was exactly the episode when I discovered myself the definition of “favorite actress”, I was charmed by Michelle since Deep Breath AND IM SO SAD THAT I DIDNT KNOW ABOUT HER EARLIER!!!!!!!!!!!! You know, favorite actress is about getting chills whenever you see them on your screen, and I do get chills when I see Michelle Gomez. Because everything about her is so gorgeous, so pure, EVERYTHING ABOUT HER IS TALENT. That manner of acting(let’s call it Michelle Gomez way of acting), those facial expressions, those accent changing OH my GOD! That manner of improvising when you need too( hey missy you are so fine, you so fine you blow my mind hey missy ) HEY MICHELLE YOU ARE SO FINE, you so FINE YOU BLOW OUR MINDS HEY MICHELLE. I can just spend my whole life watching Michelle doing all of that. What lier I am, I can watch Michelle Gomez sitting my whole life. Let’s not forget about those magical blue eyes which reach out your soul really really deep. Let’s call it Michelle Gomez eyes effect. Let’s move forward to episode last episode of season 8 “Death in heaven” which gave us more Missy and more screen time for Michelle Gomez ❤️❤️ Phenomenal as always 💕 Missy just creates whole army of cyberman to get her friend back…how cute is that?! Or not. It’s time lord thingy, we can’t judge, we are just humans. So here’s when Missy gets her title of “Queen of evil"👸🏽 and can we talk about the ending of season 8…when as many people thought was the end of Missy but as obsessive fan you start rewatching the episode by second and you see that the teleport worked earlier than the cyberman’s shot. ( I have rewatched death in haven so many times, because I was so in love with bananas queen ). So here move to the point when Michelle started visiting different comic cons, that’s where we get to know her perfect TARDIS, we get those funny meet&greet pictures, and those funny stories from fans and the fact that Michelle was so sweet to all the fans makes my heart so warm, she even recorded "hello” videos for people who couldn’t make to convention. And my heart just warms up hearing that Michelle always mentions and the thanks the fans. queen, we are thankful to you! Before season 9 and season 10 we get those Michelle “I am back” videos, who could do that more iconicly than Michelle 😂 one time eating an apple and just “I am back” and the other time painting the TARDIS 😂 Before season 9 we got to see Michelle Gomez on SDCC 2015, what a fun days, a lot of interviews, new looks and Michelle Gomez charm works here again❤️ And here we got to see Trailer of season 9 in which we saw Missy. Here comes autumn 2015 and here comes season 9. We got Missy in the first two episodes, I WAS WAITING FOR HER WHOLE SEASON AFTER THAT AND STILL WONDER ABOUT HER CLEVER 💡. Season 9 Missy is famous for Clara x Missy 😂 I wish you would know how shipper’s hearts were up to that!!!! Pushing Clara to the whole, ICONIC. I guess you loved that scene, Michelle 😂 “tell him the bitch is back” 🔥 And can we talk about dance moves 🔥🔥 Michelle you for the moves 👏🏼💪🏼 Season 9 is also famous for you getting Twitter 👀 That’s when I started spamming it (I’m sorry BUT I NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT I LOVE YOu) We are enjoying funny, witty tweets and gorgeous selfies and personal photos. The wait for the season 10 was long BUT WE GOT YOU BACK with great welcome video of you painting the TARDIS into blue. The season 10 was tough one in so many ways BUT SO TOUGH AND SO HARD IN EMOTIONAL WAY. We saw another side of Missy, her trying to turn good and she succeeded in it. We saw Missy crying and not just ones. And oh my god, Michelle those scenes were so brilliantly done 💝 I was so happy to get to see Missy in few episodes: really different Missy each episode, queen of evil with big and kind heart 💝💜 Last two episodes were really hard for everyone to handle especially when the time to say goodbye had come. It was said that Michelle will leave Doctor Who with her friends but we didn’t want to believe, it’s so hard to say goodbye even if you need to. Yesterday was the finale and we saw incredible chemistry between Michelle and John Simm. What a hot duo. And how much should I pay to get Michelle Gomez push me against a wall?????!!!! Real question here. But everything comes to an end and we see Missy sacrificing herself TWICE because she wanted to be on Doctor’s side 😭😭 And the thing that kills me more IS WILL HE EVER KNOW,WILL HE EVER KNOW!!! What a hard scene it was for me as a fan of Mistress and as a fan of Michelle. Seeing Missy dying because of her past version, laughing and peacefully laying of the ground looking at the stars. What and end. I just wanted to scream and cry, actually I did all of that. How brilliantly was that scene done my Michelle and how marvelously it was shoot by Rachel, that close look in her face, when we see her taking her last breath 💔 my heart is shattering 💔 it is really hard for me to admit that Missy/Master is dead and that I will never see Michelle in DW. Michelle brought that special energy to Doctor Who and I am already missing that energy 😭😭😭😭 It was even more hurtful to see you saying “no, I won’t be coming back”, it’s been wonderful 3 years, you are right and you are absolutely right about the fact that “no one will be able, you know, to match MISSY” SO TRUE. But no one will be able TO MATCH YOU(everyone is unique, i know) BUT YOU ADDED SUCH MAGIC TO THIS ROLE AND YOU ADDED MAGIC INTO MY LIFE. You are probably one of those people who inspire me to wake up every single day and say that I want to live. Michelle Gomez version of Master is my favorite Master incarnation ever, i want you to know that. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 And you get to call yourself “doctor who” 😂👏🏼 I wish you could play the Master and the doctor at the same time! Why not?😂 Missy will never die in my heart ❤️ As long she lives in fans heart she will never die so MISSY LIVES and we still don’t trust Missy dying 😏 BECAUSE YOU CANt. blue light never killed Missy so the red one shouldn’t too. So here I come to ending of this I needed to speak up somewhere text-post. I love Michelle Gomez and I always will and I will forever miss you on Doctor Who. (Still hoping you to come back,maybe one day???). I have watched so many things with you from the past and I’m so excited for your future projects!❤️ love, Elvira❤️ I couldn’t put everything I feel into words, because I’m shitty writer, so I just love you so much and I need you to know that ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[sh-lan]

OMFG LAST QUARTER EVER + some spring break stuff???

Took a weekend off of life Retail therapy at its finest today Even though new jeans were overdue

It’s crazy how it still came I guess it’s a force of nature But omg it’s gonna be here on the concert T^T

This nerd would have mitsuha’s theme on his playlist smh #nochu

April 2nd, 2017 BTS Wings Tour I still can’t believe it happened I’ve been awake since 8am lol and it’s like 1:54am and i’m still trying to process and remember everything that happened today It felt like a dream! I can’t believe I saw them in real life. ohmygod Hands down, easily one of the best day of this week - if not this entire year so far holy shit will continue this tomorrow as i reminisce ok but one thing i noticed is that jungkook’s thighs are actually so real like wtf? shookt EDIT: lol i never finished this but oh well

oop i just bought more rings goodbye money

my charger broke gg time to get another one

I have a newfound appreciation for the color pink or more like my appreciation for pink is coming back

When you get anxious because bts hasnt posted on twitter for 3 days but then you also know they’re resting and that they deserve this break

SPRING QUARTER LEGGO tu/th schedule let’s hope this all works well keke

week 1 recap tuesday - sees everybody in freaking AB LOL sees harry after walking out of my tdpw sees alana and dylan outside my global health class which alana is also taking, and becca and tanya lOL goes to cogs 122 to find chen screaming my name - also vania and stella <3 last class is normal - with nobody in management BUT LOL LEIGHTON ADDED THE CLASS ON THURSDAY HAHA there’s also this girl in my tdpw class who looks like lindsay lohan and her name is also lindsey but with an e cause i saw it on the email lol not a stalker

Decided to gel nails it out friday of week 1 whut whut

First attempt at 양념치킨~

been using the soundtrack of your name this past week to get over pcd it’s been a week and i still haven’t recovered T^T

went to kbbq with harry! lol week 1 sunday started at manna….having an adventure in between at manna keke “started here and ending it here?” LOL

currently craving anything strawberry

don’t understand why i need to have my email as a send&receive in order to sms to work on my laptop bb why are you being stubborn when you’ve been working fine all this time

under yuri’s recommendation, i microwaved my coffee because it was lukewarm and she called me extra LOL

i’m getting nervous about a presentation when i shouldn’t be because ?? my AB service leader self is like completely gone i wanna crawl into a hole

i just finished season 2 and 3 of htgawm in less than a week… how they gonna do season 4 i wonder

Week 2 thursday I was actually really looking forward to class today Also my rings came! Though were they worth the $50….not so sure Were they cute? Yes But not as cute as the other one T^T So i mustnt give in to temptations nowww

I found out what matcha powder mom uses to make their matcha latte Cappuccine frappe mix But it’s sadly not on amazon ):

This new tumblr function is really inconvenient cause i cant tell how many thing i have on queue brcause i have to keep switching blogs -_-

Han came to visit! Friday Papa johns Saturday Snooze brunch Infinitea Abeh hangout In n out Sunday Aquarium! Koon thai Ramen yamadaya Boba bar and then i drove him to irvine where we got coco curry! and then i drove back and he bought me milk tea with pudding

Had an epiphany It’s not anenome It’s anemone

Omg but like why dont people call spoiler alerts “spoilerts”

Started 13 reasons why with Han Finished it, tuesday week 3 Hmmm How to feel

finished strong woman park hyung sik is so…adorable? IT’S SO WEIRD. HIS AEGYO LEVEL IS INSANE

When you realize that 둘! 셋! is probably the title of the fan song because that’s what BTS always say when they introduce themselves And that BTS + ARMY forever ㅠㅠㅠㅠ I’m not crying r u crying ;___;

어떻게

Omg when you wake up for reorientation and jungkook does lives <3

highkey need to crawl into a hole tbh

You know what i want to do? Go to an olive garden Even though i know it’ll taste bad lol

Not really sure what i want… But i dont want my 4 years to be a waste ):

i….skipped out on an interview today was it the right choice i may never know

most recent ep of snk got me fucked up SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT YMIR AND CHRISTA’S RELATIONSHIP IS WHO IS CHRISTA

Lol i hella bombed my quiz GOODBYE GONNA P/NP HAHA

Week 4 weekend Fuck me in the ass i twisted my ankle and i am in irvine had to pop an advil and cruise control all the way back thank god there weren’t many cars lol 0/10 do not recommend

Slept on the couch the past two days to elevate my ankle Glad to be back in bed But i think i might be a little…sick? Fuck Need to grocery shop

Dammit i got called for jury duty

Ok but i twisted my ankle and two recruiters emailed me back the next day so was it really a loss

Week 5 i’m sick…

just watched 5 centimeters per second a little sadder than i was an hour ago

fuck i forgot that my jeans are new and i washed it and my pink shirt is ruined fml triggered

thursday after rolling over ma ankle i can finally see that it is a lil swollen and there is bruising LOL also saw an owl at school today and a bunny while leaving to go to meeting

week 5 tuesday saw two bunnies on my way out to school

I just saw two hummingbirds! 😍

I cant believe yuri and i finished twenty SMH

ABCD today Some qualitee photos were taken Im tired now

Really debating the 4th term

third day of back pain flexibility dying wow what is happening???

…..army 4th term is $75 cries EDIT: it’s $66 because i forgot exchange rate but still cri EDIT EDIT: it’s $45 if i ship it to taiwan - seriously really highkey considering that now oh dear

bro i think i just experienced katawaredoki whut

i keep thinking that my ankle is ok but i always end up doing something that ends up hurting it like hella im

Week 6 thursday last leadership meeting one of my favorite meetings because whoa INFORMATION!? it was nice wanted to discuss and add in my two cents but i honestly just wasn’t able to wrap my head around everything loool then…we decided to go to PB LOL chen, jeong, yuri, justin and his friends (including nicole, nicole, sandy) and then more people. we also met leslie, brett, dexter, allison, kenny, peter, abby, ben…and more? at pb lolol and also we saw miguel and anthony - it was like a freshman year flashback tbh lOL went to vallartas after and then came home to shower and finally sleep at 3:30am wot is life NEXT DAY ADVENTURES - leighton and i finally pulled out the weeds and now we’re tired

salty that i wasnt invited to the birthday celebration, not that i would really make the trip per say but wtf gurl

I just had this really sad thought that i’m probably never gonna ever get to know bts like friends y i do dis to meself

Wait so like i got sick while at clew’s and it didnt happen until week 5 and so i was sick from week 5 through week 6 and at this one point i couldnt taste my food it was terribad

May 12th I bought the membership LOL Hopefully it mails it correctly back to Taiwan ☺️

im dumb i didn’t save the color i wanted for my hair

omg the song vania recommended to me a few days ago was recommended by jungkook like a year or so ago on twitter lOOOOL

Just tryna level up here :<

Struggles when places are in the east coast and phone calls are early in the fckin morning

Note to self: Ridge cut potato chips with sea salt is good for stuff with dip Ridge cut salt and pepper is good for regular eating, but gets salty at the bottom LOL EDIT: per vania’s suggestion, i salted and peppered my chips

watching jungkook’s vlive AND HE JUST HARMONIZED WITH HIMSELF IM DED

Just woke up from a dream where someone hurt my brother/nade him fall and i was so angry? Was about to go ape shit on that person im ded lol who is rhis angry me

Rewatched and finished reply 1997 Wow what is life when yoon jae is life But also what is life when your idols are life Daily reminder to not be as obsessed as shiwon LOLOL

i can’t go to giraffage and elephante anymore im on the otherhand i get to go to virginia???

lol but like i haven’t been writing drafts because i often write in my notebook now but here are some updates - my nails are constantly chipping - forgot about grad photos that clashed with the weekend han is coming - im ded because i probs won’t have a weekend to myself until week 10 - struggles to figure out graduation things - paid my $54 to walk #mostexpensivewalkever

LAST LEADERSHIP MEETING (turnover) what am i going to do with my thursday nights now? it’s been a good run

Jealous of the staff that holds and records the camera during vlives? LOL who am i

When you forget that jeon jungkook did taekwondo before Hnnnngh

i just reaffirmed? or discovered? that i don’t like fruity pebbles o_o

Trying to think of a thing to put on my grad cap Tis hard Let’s make a list: 花樣年華 Strong power thank you You never walk alone Ireumeun deborah LOL Lol omg but why is yoongi’s “cheater never win but i just graduated” quote so appropriate for grad EXTRA + ORDINARY* Lost my way/found my way* Click clack to the bang Smile with me, cry with me, fly with me (you make me begin, you made me again) Ctrl+c, ctrl+v do you know “____” (hci? annyeonghasaeyo) To lose your path, Is the way to find that path* 꽃길만 걷자* Let’s fly with our beautiful wings in 2017 EDIT: i’m too lazy, i didn’t do anything to my cap lOL

Im shookt cause namjoon doesnt say 이제 feelin the vibe. HE SAYS IF YOU FEELIN THE VIBE. I feel…betrayed

Non whitewashed bangtan gives me life

May 21st My first haircut since… Since i got it cut over the summer?????

Bought me stole and tassel today Smh that i cant grab my muir tickets?? Cause i ordered all commencwment tickets SMH

Lowkey afraid of not passing mgt LOL

Omfg i knew we were going to have a pop quiz. It really happened

nicole and evelyn commented that they liked my hair and audrey and malia agreed i gotta say i’m so glad people remember me in my tdpw class LOOL

Cant get the seventeen song outta my head Shookt by the choreography

Y'all im so fckin shookt First the chainsmokers post on twitter like “see you in the summer” Then they win the BBMAs like a boss Then you see them on halsey + steve aoki’s snapchat Next things you know steve aoki is postin shit like “BTS x AOKI COMING SOON” Im SCREAMING

Yo my lyft driver dropped some knowledge again and told me his life story lmao he was a police officer in chicago and he was forced to retired and then ?? after chasing down a rapist and getting into a fight, he was seriously injured. but his dad (a judge or someone powerful idk) forced him out of retirement by telling everyone to not give him his benefits and shit and i was like. whoa bro. slow down? “embrace the unknown”

I finally tried the coconut black tie at peet’s 10/10 a mistake

Okay but can we talk about how on point everybody looked in the comeback Esp wonwoo and dk But also vernon 👌🏼

First time in virginia/ being so close to washington dc! Whoa Also gonna pass by texas too :O Knocking some states off my list

I WITNESSED MY FIRST CIRCLE RAINBOW THINGY ON THE PLANE FROM VIRGINIA TO DALLAS TODAY HOLY IT WAS V COOL

i don’t know why i never realized this about myself before but i need to be/live by a body of water at all times or i won’t feel comfortable this is weird

i told han i joined the fanclub and he like died for like 2 seconds lOL

ok but like i bought a carton of eggs and 6 or 7 of them were double yolks and i have 2 more eggs left im starting to think i’m eating some weird hybrid chickens EDIT: those last two eggs were both double yolks. this was a wild adventure

omg i knew that the TA MOST LIKELY RYAN WOULDNT UNDERSTAND OUR IDEA JUST LIKE HOW HE ALWAYS MISINTERPRETS THEM??? like what kind of constructive feedback is that if he doesn’t understand what we’re trying to do im… sigh

Already excited about the festa But like omfg they released the schedule today And just WE DONT TALK ANYMORE PT 2?? SO FAR AWAY FEATURING JIN AND JUNGKOOK? Im IM SCREAMING also sad but the radio show is right before my finals gotta prioritize, no bts fo me ;__;

after waiting two weeks, my application to get leveled up was rejected *cries* time to try again! *^*

okay but really feeling seventeen’s song as well as suran’s song like hIGHKEY

i finally got my commencement tickets the third time that i went to the bookstore third time’s the charm right? also whytf is the parking pass for all campus commencement so huge -_-

hnngh omg that feel when you have hella shit to do TPDW1 final play due week 9 friday because we won’t have class at all on week 10 then there’s the presentation (elevator pitch) that happened today week 9 thursday but also just hauling ass on things for A5 tbh what is this what is everything wot is the meaning of life when vania and i stay up till 3:30am lol… and then there’s me. tired af but didn’t sleep til 4:30 anyways cause i’m a dumbass l e l let’s not be a potato this last week k?

burger king in pc has its own free wifi called WhopperWifi and it’s so much faster than school wifi this is revolutionary

week 9 weekend to irvine irritated on the way over irritated on the way back lol wot is life i should’ve just turned around to go back home

NO TDPW1 WEEK 10 WOOT wow that means i won’t have class until 2pm whoa

“why are you reading math formulas” - yuri i was actually reading bts profiles lOLOL she just dissed their handwritings

Just spent the past hour or so looking at kakao friends merchandise And discovering that apeach is a genetically modified peach lol

that moment when you ask for a png file but get a jpg

dyed my hurr twice today for a darker shade still not what i was going for but this will do for now

Omfg i slept through my alarm until 1pm Goodbye study time?? Also omg i like it pt 2 video SHIT SHIT SHIT THEY KNOW WE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. HAD IT SINCE BAEPSAE DAYS. BUT DIDNT RELEASE IT. Freakin bighit

My request to level up on the fancafe has once again been rejected ); EDIT: oMFG IT’S BECAUSE I DIDN’T CHANGE THE SETTING TO SOMETHING im screaming, what a first world problem THIRD TIME’S THE CHARM AMIRITE

Doesnt feel like it… But thursday was my last time going to class…pretty much like ever unless i go to more school Holy shit

Oh man I didnt think i’d have THAT much shit. But…i think i have A LOT of shit….

saw bts MBIT and i was like omfg! knew that i was INFJ but took the test again yesterday and ended up INFP….but just barely P so i think i’ll stick with INFJ lol EDIT: i took the test again today because vania and yuri were talking about it again and i am still INFP…and more P this time. SO LOST. WHO AM I

put my things up for sale i forgot that i might need my light el oh el crying on the inside cause i want to keep my desk but then i’m selling it off because i don’t think i’ll have space for it and i just CRYING ON THE INSIDE BECAUSE IT’S BEEN WITH ME FOR SO LONG T^T

ON ANOTHER NOTE. THIRD TIME IS THE CHARM LEVELED UP ON JUNE 12TH AT ONE SOMETHING AM

JUNE 12TH FINISHED MY FIRST AND LAST FINAL I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH MY UNDERGRADUATE CAREER??? also lmao i spent 45 min on the final wot

i dyed my hair darker but now it’s become lighter? wait wtf wait no go back EDIT: wait no it went back to being dark? is this a thing? when i get exposed to the sun it gets lighter and when i sleep it gets darker??? smh at light for fckin with me

so i set an alarm to watch the bts home party last night for like 3:57am and i didn’t hear it but i guess i kinda did cause i woke up at 4:05am and was like ??? i decided to watch a bit of it but ended up streaming the whole thing until 5:45am looooool also watched the numbers grow from the 500,000 all the way to 2,000,000 and then 3,000,000? it was nuts

omfg all these years of rereading chapters and only now do i realize that i could save bookmarks on mangahere *slaps forehead*

Moment of silence cause i sold my desk that’s accompanied me for almost 10 years It even has battlescars (aka X marks by Jacky, 3 of them) LOL memories ;___; Oh and i guess my chair too

lol was gonna sell that yamaha guitar for $45 but it’s going for like $190 on ebay?? so ima just bring it home

finals week hangout list: tuesday: fud with kimberly, peyton, harry wednesday: more fud with stephanie and ellius thursday: KBBQ FOR LUNCH with jeong, justin, yuri, harry LOOOOL

and so...that’s the end of the quarter. my last quarter of school ever (unless i decide to go to more school...which seems unlikely as of right now) it feels weird.................................. but! onto graduation~ looking forward to being reunited with family and whatever’s gonna hit me in the face LOL

and with that goodbye undergrad, hello world ㅇㅅㅇ