#im gonna be ssick

[urmomsfavelesbian]

……..

[softiejoon]

sorry i haven’t been responding to notifs </3 just here to say skz look so good im gonna throw up

[faithdeans]

hi tali beloved tali remember when dean held cas' face in his hands and his voice cracked when he said his name. im gonna be ssick

YOU MEAN LIKE. LIKE-

LIKE THIS??????????? 😭😭😭 YEAH BROOKE I REMEMBER

[ctommyisnt]

Me: omg :D I just went shopping im gonna eat soooo healthy. I’ve had very healthy foods to eat today

Also me: CUTS IP LIKE FIVE APPLES ON ACCIDENT TO SNACK ON WITH CARAMEL WHILE I WATCH YOUTUBE AND XONSUMES LIKE A THIRD A CONTAINER OF CARAMEL.

I am sSICK. WHY DO I MAKE THESE DECISIONS

[propertyoftoru]

Tag game: Get to know me!

Thank you @abiaswreck for the tag! :] 🖤

1. Birthday?

8/11 (me and binnie are birthday twins)

2. Favorite color?

I'll say black but i dont really have a favorite!

3. How tall are you?

5’5 (and 3/4 thank you very much)

4. How many pair of shoes to you own?

somewhere around 14 idk i gave up on counting

5. Favorite song?

for skz probably ssick or easy but not skz probably ohio is for lovers by hawthorne heights

6. Favorite movie?

oh probably either the scream movies or unironically the twilight movies (theyre my childhood comfort movies)

7. Who would be your ideal partner?

Someone who makes me laugh and takes the time to understand me.

8. Do you want children?

I've said no for a really long time but i think if i met the right person and the circumstances were ideal then maybe.

9. Have you gotten in trouble with the law?

Not really other than a few times of being a stupid teenager nothing serious though. Watching my parents screw up a lot when i was young probably had a lot to do with that.

10. What color socks are you wearing?

oh god i hate socks so much. i only wear them when i have to and not a second longer.

11. Favorite type of music?

this is such a cliché but i really do listen to everything. edm, pop, pop punk, metal, sad songs, happy songs, hell on occasion even a tiny bit of country (only carrie underwood lets not get carried away)

12. How many pillows do you sleep with?

2! One horizontal and one vertical. Kinda like a half body pillow i guess? idk i have to be hugging something to fall asleep.

13. What position do you sleep in?

im a diagnosed insomniac so really whatever position my body finally passes out in... there's a lot of tossing and turning most nights.

14. What don’t you like when you’re sleeping?

Bright lights (a tv or any sort of light on an appliance) or dead silence i need a fan or rain or SOMETHING.

15. Have you tried archery?

Yeah actually my grandfather used to take me hunting when i was younger. I never actually killed anything but i got pretty good at hitting cans and targets :]

16. Favorite fruit?

ohhhhh either strawberries or blackberries or pineapple... idk i love fruit so much.

17. Are you a good liar?

I can be when I have to be. I hate lying though it always brings drama and negative energy.

18. What’s your personality type?

INFP-T

19. Innie or outie?

Innie

20. Left or right handed?

Both! but I mostly use my right!

21. Favorite food?

Pineapple pizza (fight me Christopher Bang)

22. Favorite foreign food?

Oh my grandmother makes Jag on special occasions and its one of my favorites. Other than that as of recently ive been eating japchae so much i literally have a craving for it like every other day.

23. Are you clean or messy?

sigh. my room? depression disaster area. Everything else in my life? Severe OCD neat freak (im talking labels, sorted by color and size, the whole nine yards)

24. Most used phrase?

buh. it really has no meaning its just a sound i make about 200 times a day. i also swear like a sailor so if not buh then probably cunt or fuck.

25. How long does it take you to get ready?

Depends on where im going and whos gonna be there. anywhere from 10 minutes to 45 minutes.

26. Do you talk to yourself?

Of course, im the funniest and smartest person i know. (on a real note my hyperactive imagination goes crazy so i spend most days rambling to myself about nonsense.)

27. Do you sing to yourself?

All day everyday like im in a fucking musical or something.

28. Are you a good singer?

Eh. ive been told i am but i think i could be decent if i took lessons.

29. Biggest fear?

Sharks/The ocean (its more a fear of the unknown because what the fuck even lives down there)

30. Are you a gossip?

Absolutely not. I learned my lesson in middle/high school that shit brings nothing but bad vibes and negative energy.

31. Long or short hair?

I wish i could say short because my hair drives me crazy most days but i also hate how i look with short hair so long i suppose.

32. Favorite school subject?

English or Criminal Justice/Forensics

33. Extrovert or introvert?

introvert but situational extrovert (ill be extroverted if theres someone more introverted than me solely because i cannot stand awkward tension) not quite an ambivert but somewhere close to one.

34. What make you nervous?

Groups of super outgoing people. I always get too afraid to talk in fear of ruining the flow of conversation or being talked over.

35. Who was your first crush?

idk probably justin bieber or nick jonas

36. How many piercings do you have?

4. Both of my ears and both of my nipples. i want to get my bellybutton done soon though.

37. How many tattoos do you have?

9 but im hoping to work on my leg sleeve again soon.

38. How fast can you run?

Depends on whos chasing me.

39. What color is your hair?

Brown right now. It was half black half blonde but i wanted to focus on getting my hair healthy for a while.

40. What color are your eyes?

Blue/Green/Gray depends on who you ask and the lighting in the room.

41. What makes you angry?

Not much im a pretty calm person but when im playing video games thats a different story.

42. Do you like your name?

No. My father chose it and i dont speak to him.

43. Do you want a boy to girl as a child?

IF i had a kid i would want a boy 100%. As someone whos mother had 3 babies when i was 16/17/18 i can confidently say little girls are the spawns of the devil and little boys are rays of sunshine.

44. What are your strengths?

Mental fortitude and my empathy for others.

45. What are your weaknesses?

I give second (and third and fourth) chances to people that do not deserve it.

46. What’s the color of your bedspread?

Light gray but i keep lots and lots of blankets around too.

47. What’s the color of your room?

Gray and dark blue.

Tagging for fun! Ignore if you don’t want it do it! Or ignore if you don’t feel comfortable!: @bbyquokka @lino-ppang @alphadisaster @aspenwritesstuff +anyone that wants to do this.

[pwblogarchive]

April 2007

April 6, 2007

“take a vote, the eyes have it. but the knives have our back.”

"An ending fitting for the startyou twist and tore our love apartyour light fingers through the darkshattered the lamp- into darkness it cast us...""No you've got it the wrong way round-just shut me up and blamed it on the brown"cornered the boy kicked out at the world, the world kicked backalot fuckin' harder...If you wanna try, If you wanna trythere's no worse you could do (oh oh oh)I know you lie (I know you lie)I'm still in love with you (oh oh oh)Have we enough to keep it together?or do we just keep on pretending (and hope our luck is never ending)...you cant stand me now, you cant stand me...."

April 14, 2007

us vs. the house - i kind of love the odds.

its almost a new shade under those lashes.

i am perplexingly optimistic.

its almost got me losing my head.

dodging flights.

words are like teeth.

only three places they can go...

flashed in smiles, rotted out, or spit out in fistfights.

not too sure how these end up.

we are becoming who we are meant to be.

we are becoming who we were.

time passes like bottles between them.

letting my self just float.

just feel ok.

being happy doesnt mean you are unauthentic.

breathing life is alright.

in doses you know.

i love life in 24 hour increments.

noone gets how my head feels when i lie sideways on pillows.

but noone gets anyone. so who cares?

listening to life on mars by bowie.

just snoozin.

the inside of my head is out breath from all of this jumping here and there.

sometimes love is the only thing we can call our own.

"ive been shooting up your perfume..."

Posted by xoat 3:52 AM

April 15, 2007

“i dont think that anyone feels the way i do about you now.”

me and you are the cubs, you know. next year is always our year.

April 16, 2007

bury me now, we'll figure out the rest later.

me versus myself.

i know that at some point the right words are gonna come to me.

that they are just going to spill out.

thats the only reason i still sit in these darkened rooms in front of blank screens.

i know deep down we can make ourselves bright.

we can shine.

my moods shape shift, they are magnets on a compass.

leaving the arrow spinning if it gets too close.

i hadnt been smiling or speaking up as much as i used to.

i have felt ugly on the inside and no matter what anyone says or does its the only thing going in my ears.

except whats the point.

whats the point of making it through unscathed?

the whole point of this is catharsis.

the whole plan is to get better.

to do the math.

to figure this all out.

to be ok.

to be ok with being ok.

Posted by xoat 1:58 AM

April 17, 2007

the morning after, party.

pirouette next to a baby grand, send all my troubles in reverse. notes on being authentic: the fuck me red lipstick she wears comes off on her teeth- but she rubs her feet on mine to fall asleep, im not sure anyone knows this.

April 17, 2007

"all of a sudden, i miss everyone"

god been thinking. its been awhile since ive done that.except for "here and there"ssick of all the speculation.this means that, that means this.this is really the only place i can speak to anyone without people in glass towers watching me.commenting.so thank you for that.id do anything to keep this going forever.even in my head when i wanted to be blown off this fucking planet i still hoped that little blue record kept spinning in your room.the reason you havent seen a video of fall out boy on fuse is because of corporate litigation.the same reasons for half of what makes this all feel like its falling apart.we only did cribs because we thought it was funny. hopefully you are in on the joke. we rented fake cars, like ferraris and just goofed around the whole time.didnt even know how to open the doors.not sure if our sense of humor is gonna come across or whether it will be mtvified.my best friend is a dog.sometimes i miss being down all the time like it was a close friend that moved away.but sometimes the inside of my head and my heart and my stomach all meet up into this wretched combination.i just want to let myself be happy.id give anything to not give up on this.take care. sleep safe. i will write more when it comes to me.

April 22, 2007

"all that hate is gonna burn you up." he said "it keeps me warm at night".

my mind is a safe.

if i keep it in, well be able to blow dust off our secrets before we die.

my body is an orphanage

we take everyone in.

doing lines of dust and sweat off last nights stage-

just to feel like you.

if home is where the heart is then were all just fucked.

i want it so bad id shoot sunshine into my veins.

cant remember the good old days. just cant forget the "old" ones.

its kind of funny the way were all wearing anchors on our shirts

when being anchored or paused just feels like a curse...

i want the weightlessness of love with the carelessness of a fuck

like the way magicians spin the bird into the bars on the back of a page

locking the bird away, except my ribs are the cage

dont know much about classic cars or classic rock-

but i got a lot of friends who are stuck on classic coke.

i must confess i am in love with my sins.

when they said we had chemistry im pretty sure this aint what they meant (me plus you plus tears plus a sedative or two).

cue the water works.

saline.

the plant is pumping overtime to get the toxins out.

not sure which is working faster, your mouth or your tear ducts.

in other news....

April 22, 2007

"all that hate is gonna burn you up." he said "it keeps me warm at night".

you win some.

you lose some.

April 23, 2007

“i plugged it into the socket and the house exploded"

yesterday in the hotel i was supposed to stay at a woman and a man took guns out and threatened to kill a bunch of guests. then the police showed up and they wouldnt put the guns down, so the police shot and killed them. in their room they found a bunch of extra guns and ammunition. i have goosebumps.in response to this and the virginia tech shootings. i dont know what to say. i dont understand why our society influences people to do the things that they do. i am just happy that my friends are safe and that we are still ok.true love.

April 28, 2007

“puppy love vs. teaching old dogs new tricks”

"i know you may roll your eyes at this, but im just so glad that you exist"i dont care what list i end up on.the truth is, i just dont like myself too much.i thank god for the people who love me anyway and can see around that.you inspire me to be a better person.and to let myself feel happy.i hope i bring the same to you.all sappiness aside. go download the video for the kanye "throw some d's" remix on youtube. you will not be disappointed.

posted by xo @ 4:49 PM

April 29, 2007

hi im pete wentz

April 29, 2007

this disfigured face matches these disfigured eyes. sorry baby, evolution never caught up with me. stay gold~

April 30, 2007

“my conscious and i can out-talk david mamet”

life as of late: "usually i like to get kissed before i feel fucked".

i place my bets on stars that are probably already burned out.

i fistfight the keyboard when i think of how things turned out.

Posted by xoat 8:23 PM

[heeracha]

im gonna cry i’m so

[chrisbangs]

//

[baekhvuns]

Ahhhh shit I almost forgot about TTWHY 🙉🙈🙊... but Seonghwa pissed me off a bit more in that one. Bodyguard was dumb too, but I also understand his reasoning (bad way of dealing with the situation but still) lmaooo I wanted to send you that video, our sweet clown, a comedian <3333 he's got the spirit

Ok so just like I thought then! What the fuck Y/N was supposed to die... NOT ON MY WATCH! 💀 jsudjeudidheiueb it's okay I'm gonna instert Dumbles in their scenes myself, but ngl halfway through I was like "waaaait where's the cat?!" I hope he returned with Y/N! Y/N and ice cream, well sounds about right 😆 shit you're right some of his background was mentioned, I still need to know more details like how did he get there, what's his life story, his family etc, so please hook us up for a heart to heart talk <3

Baekhvuns x ateezmakemeweep crossover when? Lol yes fuckboy Hwa better do a full 180 and starts worshipping Y/N instead of just teasing her

It's a bit sad cause I usually love their titles and this is what I wanted: rock inspired, hardcore and noisy concept, but it just didn't hit? Everyone's so hyped and saying how genius the song is, but I'm not feeling it 💔 I was anticipating this comeback so much (I still am, I'm just worried the song will disappoint me). It's slowly growing on me, but I don't think I'll ever be obsessed. Kpop parties helped me "get" Maniac, I also listened to it like 11 times in a row cause my phone glitched and I couldn't change the song cause I was on public transport squeezed between people 😭 still not my fave though so maybe Guerrilla will be the same. It's funny cause people on twitter are like "you don't like Guerrilla? What did you expect them to lead a rebellion with Turbulence or Wave type of songs" and I'm like "I actually wanted them to go harder" (just remembered I hypnotised myself into like Don't Call Me too 😅)

Bestie Christmas Evel was my Christmas song I actually really like it 😭 FELIZ NAVIDAD FELIZ NAVIDAD I CAN FEEL THE EVIL COMING BUT FELIX NEVER BAD?! - so dumb I LOVE IT. I don't know what you heard, but I personally really like everything on Oddinary especially Charmer I even liked their slower song which is kinda shocking, from Noeasy (except Thunderous) my faves are Cheese, Ssick, Red Lights, Silent Cry, Star Lost. Some of my fave songs in general are Miroh, Side Effects, Victory Song, Voices, Spread My Wings, TOP, TA, Easy, Any, Levanter, Insomnia, Rock, Awaken, Hello Stranger. Alsooooo I loved Xdinary Heroes cb, the title isn't that amazing, but the bsides?! Aaaaaaand this boy continues to be a problem he's so cool and talented and pretty, but also a big loser and a baby so naturally I love him 🙄🥴

Yes I saw that Soo Hyuk show, but I need more, not just a web drama 😭

Yeah that "friend" of mine is so weird wtf, I was looking through qrts on some tweets and they were there?! How can I escape lmao maybe I should block them. But I like torturing myself so I went ahead and read a bit more and...wheew bestie, someone needs to go outside and leave twitter for a moment

Bandana Hwa so true 😍. Oh, he is looooooking

In the new photo Seonghwa looks like a rockhopper penguin kshsjdgakdhiddbsj (I know they went for 80s goth punk look, but that was my first impression) what are those fits 🤔 I like Seonghwa's jacket tho also Matz in riding boots, is San's back exposed?! Why are some of them wearing crazy clothes and others just... boring biker gang stuff, their stylists are all over the place 🙈

I got bastard (good) on the quiz lmaooo

Expensive man huhu, also BOOOOBS 👁👄👁 - DV 💖

hi hello!!

Ahhhh shit I almost forgot about TTWHY 🙉🙈🙊... but Seonghwa pissed me off a bit more in that one. Bodyguard was dumb too, but I also understand his reasoning (bad way of dealing with the situation but still) lmaooo I wanted to send you that video, our sweet clown, a comedian <3333 he's got the spirit

IM SO VERY SURPRISED OVER TTWHY???? so very surprised with ppl liking this one better then other fics 😵‍💫😵‍💫 love making my seonghwa’s be there root of trouble <3 😳😳 JFBWKDB HE’D LOSE A FIGHT SO QUICK 😭😭😭

Ok so just like I thought then! What the fuck Y/N was supposed to die... NOT ON MY WATCH! 💀 jsudjeudidheiueb it's okay I'm gonna instert Dumbles in their scenes myself, but ngl halfway through I was like "waaaait where's the cat?!" I hope he returned with Y/N! Y/N and ice cream, well sounds about right 😆 shit you're right some of his background was mentioned, I still need to know more details like how did he get there, what's his life story, his family etc, so please hook us up for a heart to heart talk <3

JFBWKDBK YES SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO DIE 😭😭😭 wrong person wrong time,,, seonghwa would’ve been absolutely devastated <3 can guarantee if that ever happened he would never not marry anyone and keep that ring on <3 omg absolutely i will quickly ask him for his schedule for this weekend so he can come and have a one on one with you! LMFAOOOO

Baekhvuns x ateezmakemeweep crossover when? Lol yes fuckboy Hwa better do a full 180 and starts worshipping Y/N instead of just teasing her

id PASS AWAY if that EVER happened 😭😭 absolutely he mf better bc what if like someone else tries to hit her up,,, 🔫🔫

It's a bit sad cause I usually love their titles and this is what I wanted: rock inspired, hardcore and noisy concept, but it just didn't hit? Everyone's so hyped and saying how genius the song is, but I'm not feeling it 💔 I was anticipating this comeback so much (I still am, I'm just worried the song will disappoint me). It's slowly growing on me, but I don't think I'll ever be obsessed. Kpop parties helped me "get" Maniac, I also listened to it like 11 times in a row cause my phone glitched and I couldn't change the song cause I was on public transport squeezed between people 😭 still not my fave though so maybe Guerrilla will be the same. It's funny cause people on twitter are like "you don't like Guerrilla? What did you expect them to lead a rebellion with Turbulence or Wave type of songs" and I'm like "I actually wanted them to go harder" (just remembered I hypnotised myself into like Don't Call Me too 😅)

maybe when you hear the song fully your mind might change! you ofc don’t have to be obsessed with the title track there’s more tracks you might end up liking! LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 I STILL CANT GET INTO MANIAC EXCEPT WHEN THEY KEEP SAYING MANIAC DBDB JFBWKDJWK tbh atp kpoppies just force ppl into liking music and omg i saw this twt the other day and ???????

isn’t the whole point of them having to grow as artists shown from criticism as well?? this tweet sounds tone deaf ???? isn’t music put out for ppl’s opinions on it 😭😭😭

STOP I LOVED DONT CALL ME THAT BASS KILLED ME IT WAS LIKE OBSESSIONS BASS

Bestie Christmas Evel was my Christmas song I actually really like it 😭 FELIZ NAVIDAD FELIZ NAVIDAD I CAN FEEL THE EVIL COMING BUT FELIX NEVER BAD?! - so dumb I LOVE IT. I don't know what you heard, but I personally really like everything on Oddinary especially Charmer I even liked their slower song which is kinda shocking, from Noeasy (except Thunderous) my faves are Cheese, Ssick, Red Lights, Silent Cry, Star Lost. Some of my fave songs in general are Miroh, Side Effects, Victory Song, Voices, Spread My Wings, TOP, TA, Easy, Any, Levanter, Insomnia, Rock, Awaken, Hello Stranger. Alsooooo I loved Xdinary Heroes cb, the title isn't that amazing, but the bsides?! Aaaaaaand this boy continues to be a problem he's so cool and talented and pretty, but also a big loser and a baby so naturally I love him 🙄🥴

JFBWKD I FIRST THOUGHT THAT SONG WAS LIKE A FANMADE THING UNTIL I WAS LIKE “fuck??? that’s actually a song…???” SO DUMB DBDBDH YES BUT ITS SO CONTAGIOUS omg yes i listened to charmer and i love that song better than the title track 😭😭😭 my favourite has to be hellavator one of the best jyp debut tracks! ill def listen to them all!!! NO BC WHY ARE JYP SIDE TRACKS WAY BETTER THAN THE TITLE TRACKS 😭😭😭

HIS HAIR?????? JOOYEON NEW BAIS ALERT DBDB

Yes I saw that Soo Hyuk show, but I need more, not just a web drama 😭

what’s your thoughts on your favourite ceo kim meeting lee soo hyuk <3

Yeah that "friend" of mine is so weird wtf, I was looking through qrts on some tweets and they were there?! How can I escape lmao maybe I should block them. But I like torturing myself so I went ahead and read a bit more and...wheew bestie, someone needs to go outside and leave twitter for a moment

LMFAOOOO DBDBDB going through their tweets would be like looking through the morning newspaper 🤩🤩 nO BC IT DO SOUNDS LIKE THEY NEED TO GO TOUCH SOME GRASS 😭😭😭

Bandana Hwa so true 😍. Oh, he is looooooking

😭😭😭🤚🏼 HES SO CUTE pls stop me bc this series is burning in my wip and iwill take it out if this continues to happen 😭😭

In the new photo Seonghwa looks like a rockhopper penguin kshsjdgakdhiddbsj (I know they went for 80s goth punk look, but that was my first impression) what are those fits 🤔 I like Seonghwa's jacket tho also Matz in riding boots, is San's back exposed?! Why are some of them wearing crazy clothes and others just... boring biker gang stuff, their stylists are all over the place 🙈

NO BC HE FR DO FBWNVDKS their necklaces are the same as the hala hala ones and that blew me away 😳🤚🏼 IS HIS BACK EXPOSED ????? about to pass out,,, yes the 80’s goth punk,,, can’t wait for how their outfits on music shows look like!!! scared for the ending fairy hwa 😭😭😭 will start screaming

I got bastard (good) on the quiz lmaooo Expensive man huhu, also BOOOOBS 👁👄👁 - DV 💖

i got very complex fbenfbdn

THEY NEED TO CLOSE THE GYMS EVERYTIME I SEE THEM I AUTOMATICALLY GO THIS

quizie

also!!

yeah this guy’s never done anything bad

[markets]

miro finding out his girlfirned has bad lore takes isliterally the funniest thing ever im gonna be ssick

[karda]

HELLO i am sSICK but its ok cuz im at my uncles house and its out in tuw misdle of the woods and its been raining all day and me and a friend went out and we found a snail shell and a live snail and bears bread and old man’s beard and anither weird type of moss that looked kinda like cabbage mixed wity seaweed and we’re gonna go back out soon and im so hapoy cuz im home and i AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HIHI!!!!!!! hi :-] thats so epic.... makes me happy ur happy :D

[hyunpic]

what do you think they'll promote next from the album?

i have my bets on cheese or domino since we got the mv previews for those two so it would make sense! but im just gonna say that hearing felix say me so sick and legendary live would solve half of my problems if they did go and perform ssick 😼

what do you think and what would u prefer?

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah i suppose ur right. yeah i think quarentine has had that sort of effect on a lot of people :( sorry to hear abt ur strict parents, hopefully ur friend will be able to come back soon. small outings (even with family) are still good tho, make sure ur taking care of urself toff.

youre totally right! ah yes thats good advice (/gen) ill try and use that when im in a slump ty. any music suggestions?

lol sames. even some of the stuff abt seungmin, innie etc is a little uncomfortable, like theyre grown ass men for sure, but at the same time, theyre still young, still just over being a teenager in the grand scheme of things. (on that note, i do struggle with worrying that im infantalising them, obviously theyre adults but at the same time, theyre still young. i do treat all fictional characters as my children, but i guess its different when its real people. idk. what do you think?) yeah some stans rlly need to take a chill pill, some are rlly walking the wire between 'ah theyre attractive/that look rlly suits them' and making fucking smut fics abt minors, like... they do not see a problem with that?? yeah tbh i feel like unless theyre 18 they shouldnt be put into the spotlight, weve seen what it does to peoples mental health, but modern day kpop industry is a lot like old hollywood with a lot of popular child actors -_- hopefully the big companies will learn but i agree, its unlikely

suuuuure toff haha. ill go searching for them, but idk if ill be able to find the fluff needle in the angst haystack (jkjk) yeah, fair i groan and complain but you do write angst etc rlly well, so if its what ur comfortable with, then pls continue, it is one of your strong suits, well as you write fluff aside

ah okay good! ill continue to send you essays then

THE ALBUM YES. so ive been looking forward to it for literally months, this is actually my first skz album release as a stay (since the last on was 9 months ago) i was sitting there hitting refresh on my spotify the second 6pm kst came around. (speaking of which, how did you do the release? i couldnt decide whether to watch or listen first but i ended up on listening cos there would be more material) okay: so cheese was super cool, very skz ya know? tho i almost wish theyd made domino the title track, tho obv it was a more experimental track and would have been a bit controversial (much like whistle for bp) i looooved domino and thunderous was absolutely impeccable. all the songs were amazing but standouts were- secrets, secrets which lowkey made me tear up idk why, red lights which almost killed me (it did not have to go that hard, but it did) and OT8 WOLFGANG omgggg i wasnt sure if hyunjin was going to be included in it but i was hoping and, ya know people had said hed be in there, but the further i got in, the less i was sure and then BAM hyunjin started what had been jisung's part and i just sat there grinning for about 5 minutes. surfin was absolutely adorable and gone away almost made me cry AGAIN. star lost was so touching, almost a nod to hyunjins little star? silent cry was relatable beyond anything. SSICK was funny? for some reason I was laughing while it was playing, idk the combination of added cheering and minhos aggressiveness and the totall seriousness they sung it. but i rlly enjoyed it. sorry i love you showcased their vocals like nothing else. the view is THE BOP of 2021, absolutely going to be stuck in my head for the next decade, that hook is genius. what did you think?

also did you watch their grow up performance? with all the stays and ALL THE TEARS? ;n; i feel like this is the end of an era of skz and tbh im kinda happy but also sad. super excited for their promotions but super bummed they wont get to tour. ah well

<3 w.a. 🐺

answer under the cut bc i gave an equally long answer to this already long ask HAJSH

oh yeah, abt quarantine having an effect. my friend and i talked about this earlier actually. i didn't realize the world was moving so fast until the pandemic happened. being in quarantine gave me time to think and i got to know myself more. it's just the sole good thing i got out of the isolation lmao. and abt my strict parents, ironically i got to go out today so i got to hang out with a few of my bestfriends. i had fun but my legs are a bit sore from walking. but they're a different set of friends. i'll get to hang out with the others when my getaway driver comes home in december.

hmm music recommendations for writing? depends on the plot you're writing. care to share what story you're working on and i'll try to rake my brain for a song that might match the vibe. i listen to classical / lo-fi if i don't have song inspo for a fic because lyrics sometimes distract me.

i don't think that's infantilizing tho. for me, it has something to do with my environment and the way i was raised. maybe it's the same the other way around? like this certain age (for the ones above 18 but below 20) is thirst-able for them. idk really. it's just not for me ?n? what i do NOT condone is writing smut for minors??? like get checked : D // i agree with everything with the idols being 18+ before they debut simply because it's for the best for their well-being like. how can young idols decide that this shit is the thing they want to do for life? or at least until their contracts last. idk :// it's unfortunate that it's unlikely to happen.

WELL. i have a list so you won't have to go search for them! in class (minho), in the rain (seungmin), gladius maximus (chan) and you've read five star already. and i just realized that most, if not all, of my upcoming fics are fluffs and i'm fond of all of them :D i used to focus a lot on angst because fluff disgusted the living shit out of me. i think things changed when i wrote champagne problems and hurt myself so bad i wanted to drop angst entirely. i didn't, of course, but i allowed myself to be self-indulgent now.

for the release of the album, i was on twt and watched the vid at 12 views (if i remember correctly, i watched back door at 14 so HASJH) i’m gonna talk by track so it wont be too confusing? bc i wrote this in paragraph format and it just ???? beware im very picky with tracks even if they’re my ults. so no offense if we have opposing opinions and i’m not fond of reading lyrics so these are all music wise.

cheese - oh god i hated cheese at first listen but it grew on me easily. i was singing the yeahyeahyeahyeah bit all day today :D

thunderous - i cant say that it’s my favorite title track. it felt really dry sometimes, both mv and music wise. but at the same time, it’s not that bad. the choreography carried the song tho o.O it’s so fucking cool. but like go live, another track has my heart and it’s

domino - AND YES I AGREE THAT THEY SHOULDVE MADE DOMINO TITLE TRACK UGHHHHH WHAT A WASTED FUCKING OPPORTUNITY. WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FOND I AM OF THIS SONG. it stands close to the level i love easy.

ssick - was a skip on first listen too because i found the chorus underwhelming but it grew on me? not that much but i can bear listening to it.

the view - it’s something the gen public like, hence its something i dislike. im not fond of songs that are structured like this? it’s not a bad song, just not the type of song i like. but i agree that the hook is very not catchy but it would get stuck in ur head.

sorry, i love you - it’s not as sad as i expected but i actually like it??? i can’t wait to write a fic out of it (1) HAJSHAJ it’s like a 3/5 for me. it’s angsty but chill?

silent cry - i’m pissed at this song bc it hits but sometimes it doesn’t?@?#!? but it’s starting to grow on me but definitely not my fave track.

secret secret - glad i found a secret secret enthusiast because my irls thought it was a skip?$?#@$? it gives me ikon vibes and i’m a huge fan of ikon’s discog so this was a win for me T_T +

STAR LOST - gives me bigbang song vibes and now im very sad :(( in case u didnt know, i’m a hUGE yg fan and 2ne1/bigbang introduced me to kpop so when i heard this track that gave me yg feels i just <3___<3 and it’s one of my favorite tracks anw moving on,

red lights - I WANT TO SKIP THE FIRST TEN SECONDS OF RED LIGHTS EVERY TIME IT PLAYS LIKE IT MAKES ME FEEL AWKWARD KDSJFSK but fine. i’m adding this to props and mayhem’s playlist LMAO it’s more aggressive than sexc tho. more enemies to lovers o. O

surfin’ - this coming right after red lights just wasn’t the best decision arrangement wise because how did we go from ooh sexc to aigh pARTAY. felix saying sheesh T___T it’s such a fun song i want to go to the beach ;n; do you like beaches?

gone away - i have yet to read the lyrics because i’m using this as inspo for a jeongin fic jskjash it’s not the type of ballad i like but it’s so fucking sad to listen to :’ ) the pitch change caught me off guard? still does. it’ll grow on me prolly.

wolfgang - I YELLED WHEN I HEARD HYUNJIN IN WOLFGANG. i didn’t like this song until recently. it gives me the confidence boost i need to pick myself off self-esteem crashes.

and no i haven't watched that performance and i prolly wont because i’ll cry. i’m excited for the promotions too. do you think they’ll still have a repackage?? i cant fucking believe that i just finished waiting for 12am kst for skz teasers and now i have to look forward to 12am for nct 127??@?#? NOT A SINGLE DAY OF REST FOR THIS STAYZEN

[nbmutual]

i was going through old messages and reread the messages from ****** and i feel so ssick right now.. i was twelve and you were eighteen, you took advantage of me you ruined me you fuckingg freak i cant stop shaking. ifeel like im gonna puke

[rainscame]

my grandpa is ssick and im gonna flip out because im literally doing all this work to get into UC Berkeley for him uhhhh