#im literally working on the damien one at this very moment (the time that im editing this post of course)

[meloncalic]

How about Damien for the character post? 👀

MY BOYYY

First impression: HE PRETTY. but also i was very suspicious of Mark in a suit because of the Dark implications and.. now... yeah i was in for a world of hurt.

Impression now: absolute best boy. i would love to hug him. meta/canon-wise he is one of, if not the most, fleshed out of mark's characters and i love him.

Favorite moment: OOMF what to choose (aHAH get it get it cause -)

either: literally the first time we see him in the Manor with him being all excited to see us "There you are old friend!!!" he's like a lil puppy pls

or.. 

“Some things just can't be fixed, and I'm okay with that. But if you let me help you, then maybe, together, we can start to set things right." :')) help me pls i'm so soft for him he deserves the world

Idea for a story: i think it would be really cool to just see a soft, fluffy Damien and DA having fun in college. no angst maybe the tiniest bit of foreshadowing but just them. being friends or maybe more

Unpopular opinion: listen i know i KNOW it's just me in denial and i'm pretty sure Mark himself has explicitly said Dark didn't shove u into the mirror to save you... (but i listen to that as much as i do "engineer isn't actor")

...in my version/canon (which i will eventually do a whole post on) Damien kicks you out of the Dark to save you. it was his last act as purely himself and he didn't want you cursed and burdened with that existence :)

Favorite relationship: *deep sigh* x me... lissen /hj but like i said with my Actor post,, i can see Mark x Damien if the Poker Night never happened

Favorite headcanon: this dude absolutely loves plants. takes care of them as a stress reliever for work. no im not projecting what are you talking about /sar

[emptymasks]

I’ve seen a lot about your thoughts on Elisabeth and Tanz der Vampire, and they’ve been really helpful getting into those musicals! But you have a huge list of other musicals that people can get into…

So I was wondering if you had any musicals you hadn’t mentioned in a while that you really like or would like to talk about??? (preferably something from your lists that has a blue heart please?)

Oh if only you knew how long the list of European musicals really is... I however have only seen 9 (if I counted right) and I have a lot more that I still need to watch. Oh also, I only put the blue hearts on any musicals that I was providing multiple links for so people could see which version I reccoment the most highly. If a musical only had one link and didn't have a blue heart it doesn't mean I didn't like it.

I've watched: Mozart das Musical, Elisabeth das Musical, Tanz der Vampire, 3 Musketiers, Mozart L'Opéra Rock, Dracula (the Graz production), Rebecca das Musical, Roméo et Juliette and Schikaneder.

If you enjoyed those two you're likely to enjoy Rebecca! It's written by the same composer/lyricist team as Elisabeth and Mozart (and same lyricist as Tanz der Vampire - though if you're listening to any German musical, original or translated, 90% of the time the lyrics will have been done by Michael Kunze that man is everywhere). The Stuttgart production has my favourite set design of any musical! Well... Actually probably. There are so many big set pieces it's insane, way more than I've seen in some Broadway and West End musicals. You can tell so much work went into it and the visual effects that I won't spoil if you don't know the plot but if you know the plot you know what I mean by the effects at the end are so good and I didn't expect them at all and I freaked out so much the first time I watched it. Jan Ammann as Maxim in the Stuttgart production is the best Maxim. No I won't take any argument. Other actors feel a bit one-dimensional to me, but the way Maxim acts at times comes from trauma and some actors and productions seem to forget that, but Jan really goes for it and his Maxim is a lot more sympathetic and I just want to give him a hug. Pia Douwes as Mrs Danvers, if you've seen her in Elisabeth what more do I need to say, she's amazing. A musical goddess. Her Danny is a bit more wild than some, but she kills it. My favourite video, which I put the blue heart next to, has understudy Christina Patten as Ich/I, but I adore her she's my favourite. She adds some spunk to Ich in act 2 and her voice is so pretty and aaaa. I just love these three actors together in these roles.

Roméo et Juliette is another favourite of mine! It's hard to choose which one to recommend, but it has to be the original 2000/2001 production because of the sweetness and chemistry and voices of Damien Sargue and Cecilia Cara as Romeo and Juliet. They're so pretty and work together so well. The only reason I say it's hard to pick is Mercutio. I adore him, but in the original production they cut out a song they had planned for him and he doesn't really do much at all? In the 2010 revival they gave him two more songs and you care about him so much more and John Eyzen plays such a good Mercutio. So I'd recommend the original but if you want to like Mercutio more, which you should he's amazing, I'd recommend watching at least clips of John's. It's an interesting musical because all productions are non-replica and also change around the order of songs, add or take away characters, all sorts. The Hungarian production is also very popular and I'm sure it's great, I just haven't' gotten around to watching it yet.

Mozart das Musical was the first non-English language musicals I watched so I have a fondness for it, but it's not my favourite. However, I do realise I have forgotten most of the songs and the few I've gone back and listened to are better than I remember.

Dracula isn't super popular and I understand why, I don't love the plot of the Dracula/Mina romance in it, however. I do love this musical because despite how I find the plot lacking, the songs are so good! At least, I love them. And the actors are all doing a great job. And it's one of the few Dracula adaptions to keep Quincy Morris so they get bonus points for that.

Mozart L'Opéra Rock and modern French musicals... This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but they're often more like pop-rock operas now. So if you're not into musicals with that style of music it might not be for you, but I still enjoyed it even though I didn't think I would because of the style of music. Mozart and Salieri's chemistry is very good, Salieri's bisexual crisis song is iconic, actually all of Salieri's songs are iconic.

Schikaneder... eh. I didn't like it that much and I didn't really like any of the songs. There's no English subtitles, but someone sent me the entire English synopsis and I watched it with a German friend so I had double the help of understanding it. Doesn't mean others might not like it, just none of the songs stood out to me and I had no desire to listen to any of them again. It's by Steven Scharwz of Wicked fame and I love Wicked, but I didn't love this.

3 Musketiers!! God it's so underrated and not spoken about within the European musical fandom that I even forget about it and literally forgot to write about it earlier in this post. It's a Dutch musical (though did also have a German production) and it's really good!? Faces you might know are Pia Douwes as Milady de Winter, Stanley Burlseon as Cardinal Richeliu (Netherlands Der Tod in Elisabeth), Henk Poort as Athos (Netherlands Phantom and Jean Valjean). The dialgoue is funny, the songs are good, some of the set pieces have no right to exist in this tiny musical?? They made this giant boat and pelt the actors with rain just for one 5 minute song and then we never see the boat again? And while I recommend the Dutch one because Dutch musicals deserve more love and it has official English subtitles!! Official ones, not fanmade! I have the DVD and it comes with English subtitles (and Dutch and German subtitles) which is so nice. The German version is also good, good cast, Pia came back and Uwe Kroger as Richeliu and omg they rearranged the songs and the German arrangement of Nicht Aus Stein is insane and amazing and frankly iconic.

That's all of the ones I have watched. Next on my list to watch are Rudolf and Notre Dame de Paris, both of which I have listened to some songs from and already love (I've listened to way too much of Notre Dame de Paris and am so in love).

I want to start organising streams where I'll host the musical either by getting the video from Youtube or my own files and anyone who wants to join can come along and watch with us, chat with us if you want or just watch there's no pressure to chat. I thought about doing weekly streams? This would also make me finally watch some of the ones I've been meaning to for ages. But I keep wondering about time zones. I'm in the UK and would want to stream at about 11pm at the latest (11pm BST/GMT+1 as we’re in daylight savings at the moment, if the streams continue past the end of October which would be wild then I’ll make a note of the time change that would be to 11pm GMT), which I know can work for other UK and Europeans, but for any Americans would be in the afternoon. So, I wondered if doing it on a weekend would be better? Then it doesn't matter if it's in the afternoon? Maybe Saturday evenings then? It would either be Saturday evenings UK time or Friday evenings UK time. What do you guys think? If people are down then I'll make a separate post with a list of what we'll be watching each week and if anything happens to me that means I can't stream one week then everything will just get pushed back a week, but I don't see that as likely to happen. And I'll only be streaming those that have English subtitles, so don't worry about not being able to understand anything.

edit: am also open to 10pm bst if others want that, im just trying to think of what time works best for everyone so sorry if 11pm is a little late for europeans, i know 10pm could be a little early for americans. also in case it sounded like these are the only musicals i will be streaming, thats not so, ive got more than just the ones mentioned on this list!

(Tagging some people who I know are or might be interested in streams to see what you think of that plan: @sirona-art @ringwraith100 @tanz-der-trash @smilingwoland @the-weird-dane @witchgaye @ami-fidele @kisstheghouls @looking-4-happiness @ladysapphire928 @sloanedestler @tinywound @persephonaae @phoenixdewinter @uwucoffee @freshbloodandgothicism )

[pigstepmp3-moved]

holy hell, gamers, i finally reached one whole thousand followers! how bonkers is that! when i first made this blog in december 2018, i was just trying to start over in a new fandom. ive been active on tumblr for a looong time (since i was like 11, which is. not great, but we wont get into that). i cant remember quite why i decided to remake, but i never imagined getting a higher following than i did before, but i did! 1000 followers is bonkers, i’ve never had a thousand of anything! i seriously cant thank each and every one of you enough, whether you followed me for 911 or for mcyt or for whatever!

now, since ive reached this absolutely bonkers milestone, im feeling particularly sappy! so under the cut, i have some friends and mutuals tagged who are super great n who are always an absolute pleasure to see on my dash! <3 again, thank you all so much! (ps, if we’re mutuals and i didnt tag u in this, that doesnt mean i dont love and appreciate you!! i mostly am just picking people to tag based off how often i see them on my dash! i love all of u so much <3)

♡ 911 FRIENDS ♡

(aka the ogs, aka the fire fam)

♡ @lovelessmotel ♡ emily!! god, where do i even begin with how much i love and adore you!! i know youre one of my big sisters, but wow i am so proud of how much youve discovered yourself since we’ve met!! like wow, look at this epic, gorgeous person whos one of MY close friends! im so lucky to be friends with you! thank you so much for being my friend, i appreciate you and all the sisterly advice you’ve given me more than i can ever put into words!

♡ @eddiediaz-buckley ♡ sav!! mom!! i love u so unbelievably much!! i am so unbelievably grateful for you and everything youve done for me! all the advice youve given me and all the times youve let me vent to you have been so important to me and i cannot thank you enough for all that. im soso appreciative of you and im so glad that i have someone as amazing as you as my mom/big sister (we’ll never really figure out our fams family dynamics, will we?) (ps, whenever i go outside and have my keys with me, its always so comforting to feel the keychain you got me! its like my moms with me everywhere i go!)

♡ @liesoverthec ♡ bonbonbonbon!!! i love you so much, you wouldnt BELIEVE how much i love you!!! im so glad we met bc you are so unbelievably kind!! there is a very good reason a nickname for u is bonbon bc you are just as sweet as candy!! maybe even more so!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, you give such wonderful advice and talking to you always makes me feel a million times better!! i love you and i am soso glad i get to call you my friend!

♡ @marauder-girl ♡ sabsabsab!! i love u so much, u funky lil future lawyer!! im so proud of u and i can hardly believe ur gonna be my Lawyer big sister!!! thats so awesome!! i cant believe such a rad person is one of MY friends!! how lucky am i!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, youre so kind and funny and talented and your advice has always been so helpful to me too! thank you so much for being my friend and for always being there for me!!

♡ @nighting-gale17 ♡ cait, my love, my wifey!!! wowowow i love u so much!!! im so glad we’re friends, you are so unbelievably lovely!! youre also so unbelievably talented like??? hey queen wanna hand some of ur writing ability over to the unfortunate (like me). i’m so glad we’re friends, youre so sweet and even tho we dont talk as much as we used to, i still have SO much love for you in my heart

♡ @africaneuropean ♡ rae, my father!! i love u so much!! i know we havent talked at all in. who knows how long. but i still have so much love for u in my heart!! you are so iconic and cool and funny, im so glad i met you n became friends with you!! ur one of the coolest people i know, i hope i can be as cool and mysterious and wonderful as you one day

♡ @evaneddie ♡ DHYL!!! dhyl pickle i love u so much!!! whenever u pop into my inbox with random nice messages, every part of me lights up!!! u are so kind to me and for what!! i miss talking to u as much as we used to, you are so sweet and you are such a good friend!! i love u n im SO proud of how far youve come with gif making, i still remember when u first started n youve gotten SO amazing at gifs lately!! i love u soso much n im so glad we’re friends, youre so awesome!!!

♡ @basil-the-writer ♡ des!!! i love u so much!!! i know we’ve never rly talked all that much but im glad we have interacted in the ways that we have!! u are so sweet n so talented!! like the fact that u have the patience for those lil video edits u do?? that is so cool!! all ur edits are so cool, i cannot imagine being able to make stuff like that without dying every single time. u are so cool n i love being able to call u my friend!!

♡ GRIFF ♡

(aka griff)

♡ @yawnralphio ♡ u get ur own section bc u are my only 911 friend who isnt an og, but thats ok bc u are so swaggy!! i love being friends with u griff, u are so cool and funny and i am so glad that u still want to be friends with me despite all of the horrifying things u’ve learned about mcyt from me jdhfajkdhfa. i love u so much n i am so excited to get to know u more n get closer to u!!

♡ FRUITBLR ♡

(aka mcyt friends)

♡ @fear-epidemic ♡ atlas u are so swaggy and funny!! tumblr funny man!! im so glad we’re mutuals, i love u a whole lot. that one time u me n wilby played bed wars together was so fun even if we’re really bad! n that one time we played on the fruitblr server while on vc was so fun, i loved talking to u n playing with u so much, we gotta do that again sometime. i love u so much chapin n im so glad we’re friends!!

♡ @netheritedream ♡ hari my beloved... i love u so much. like literally so much that its really embarassing. i am so glad u tagged me in that one follow forever post n put the offer on the table to let me join the server. i love being ur dumb lil husband!!! jus like actual fundy, i would risk it all to watch treasure planet with u. i love u sososo much, i wish i could live closer to u so i could actually talk to u more often </333 im going through severe withdrawal, pray for me. im gonna stop talking for now bc if i kept going on, this post would be several miles along n nobody has time for that </3 just know that i love u so much and i love having matching icons n i love being ur husband, i love u so much

♡ @sootswilbur ♡ tommy... i care you so much. little bromther!!! im sososo glad we’re friends bc u are so kind to me all the time n u are so easy to talk to!! ur also so talented, ur writing n ur gifs are so amazing n im so proud of all the awesome stuff u make!! seeing u experiment more with ur gif sets n trying new things is so awesome n inspiring and i love seeing ur experiments work out!! i love u soso much n im so happy to be ur big brother!! (or one of them at least)

♡ @fruitbur ♡ virgil my Other beloved... i love u so much!! u are one of the kindest people ive ever met n im so glad i met u!! i know ive already told u this before but ur tagging system is so sweet n i love seeing u reblog my posts bc im like “yay alastair is gonna tell me that he loves me in the tags :D” i also lovelovelove ur theme, i love the soft pink and the lil aesthetic board that u have pinned, its so nice to look at!!! ily sososo much <333

♡ @theartofmining ♡ hey fruit ily. like genuinely, u are so unbelievably funny that u make my ribs hurt so much. i know we’re like never rly that serious but i love u so much. as much as i joke about hating u, i really am glad we’re friends n i really look forward to becoming better friends with u. i love u a whole lot rain, i love seeing u on my dash bc ur full of good takes n funny posts

♡ @sapnaplive ♡ dream.... bonks our foreheads together... i care u so much. my other half!!! i love u with my whole little heart. u are soso cool and im so lucky to be able to call u my friend!! ur themes are always so cool, i wish i could be half as cool as them!!! ur art is also so epic like??? u are a triple threat: good at art, tumblr themes, AND minecraft building. and ur also so kind!!! u are one of the sweetest people i know, i love u so much and im so glad im friends with u!!

♡ @dreams-little-kitten ♡ corn u are so weird and i mean that in the kindest way possible. u are so cryptic n i love that so much about u. ur like the wilbur to my philza sometimes and i think thats so awesome. that one time u came into my inbox to talk shit about that one cuphead boss was so funny and absurd, i loved that so much. i love You so much. i love how ur just so effortlessly funny, n im so glad i can be friends with u

♡ @dreamsmp ♡  JEL!!!! i love u so much holy cow. u are so sweet!! all the time!!! ur also so talented, ur gifs always look so good!!! i love being friends with u, ur always so nice to me n u always leave rly nice tags when u reblog my gif sets that make me so happy!!! i think about that one time u rbed my fundy gif set n said “FUNDY GIFS” and “GIFS BY FUNDY” it made me so happy!!! i love u a whole lot, im so glad we’re friends :)

♡ @leaguelol ♡ damien!! i love u so much u funky little cryptid!! i love when u pop into the gc just to share cryptic thoughts, u are so strange but i think thats so cool of u!!! i honestly see u kinda like a lil sibling, im always so proud of u when i see ur art on my dash!! u are so talented at art!! i love u so much n i love being ur friend, ur rly sweet n i love seeing u on my dash and in the gc!!

♡ @its5undy ♡ idk why im putting u on this, ur my mortal enemy. jkjk, i actually love u a lot clay! i love joking around with u, ur so funny and for what. im so glad u joined the gc bc i love talking to you so much!! i still love that one time u reblogged that fwt gif set n tagged me in it moments after I reblogged it. i love that u thought about me, that rly warms my heart! i love being friends with u sososo much

♡ @cavalreee ♡ oh hey, another great big fruit!! i dont think we talk all that often, which is a shame, bc ur so sweet!! and also so fucking funny, why is everyone in this friend group so fucking funny, its not fair. i love seeing u on my dash talking with ur other friends, u always have the funniest convos ever. also? ur desktop theme is SO epic, it threw me off the first time i saw it but its so swaggy, just like u!! i love u soso much azzie, n i hope we can talk more in the future bc ur so cool

♡ @technosoot ♡ i love u even tho ur a br*t /j /j /j. jannat u are so unbelievably sweet. im so glad u joined the gc bc u are such a kind presence both in there and on my dash! u radiate very Warm, Friend energy. ur friend shaped. i love u so much n i love being friends with u!! im very eager to become closer friends with u bc u seem like a really amazing friend to have

♡ @sortasortaspicy ♡ les where are u in the gc i miss u </3 i love u so much, u fit in so well from the very beginning n brought so much more fun and laughter into the gc. i dont know u all that well n i dont think we’ve talked one on one like. at all. but id love to get closer to u bc ur so rad and ur so sweet!!

♡ EPIC PEOPLE  ♡

(aka mutuals who are so cool n id love to be friends with u pls talk to me)

@eurytherm ♡ @vampkings ♡ @weelbur ♡ @wilburtheesoot ♡ @quackityskarl ♡ @wimblrscoot ♡ @technofarmer ♡ @wooteena ♡ @bloodforblood ♡ @smpsapnap ♡ @literallynotfound ♡ @hearty-an0n ♡ @enderanboo ♡ @springbonniecpu ♡ @pandascanpvp ♡ @tommylnnits ♡ @strawberrygogy ♡ @timedeo ♡ @nymika-arts ♡ @h-isforhome ♡ @eboykarl ♡ @joe-alkaysani ♡ @betwecouldmakesome ♡ @squirrelstone ♡ @maddieandchimney

[dylanxmin]

painkiller ∣ 5 ∣ j.hs

breakups are habitual, ordinary maybe even easy for some other people, and maybe it could be easy for you, too, if you haven’t been dumped by your boyfriend after finding out that you were pregnant. no, it wasn’t easy even a bit. and a stranger who wants to be your side doesn’t make this all easy for you, at all.

pairing; jung hoseok x reader

genre; angst, fluff, humor, pregnancy au, strangers to lovers au, single!mom au, slice of life au,,

warnings; little high on angst, swearings, mention of abortion, mention of adoption, mention of miscarriage, unedited(rlly sorry about this)

word count; 5k+

rating; nc17

a/n; heyyy, it’s been a month since i last update this story and i only blame my finals, my sudden lost of muse, and some side effects of my life but there it is, freshly served, angsty episode!! ion know how did this come out but im feeling positive for the next episode! so,,,, hope you all enjoy reading this part, and as always, i do really appreciate a little comment soooo... lol, love y’all  ♡

previous ➭ ˚masterlist˚ ➭ next

taglist; @xxluckydreamsxx​ ,, @parkminhee​

∣ send me an ask if you want to be on the tag list ∣

‘‘Yes, can we have a brief explanation about the story of our current project?’’ 

‘‘Miss Y/N?’’ 

‘‘Y/N?’’ 

Light, red and yellow mixes and crushes down when something hard nudges at your shoulder and brings you the reality. Shake of your body startles Namjoon, who was nudging your shoulder to wake you up. Pairs of eyes currently stares at you, wide, curious and surprised, too, as no one expects you to fall asleep in the middle of an important meeting. But, you did anyway. Surprising yourself with such an action, yet you lost control of your sleep schedule way before this meeting, so you weren’t that ashamed as the sleep still lingers around your head. 

Blinking, blinking, blinking for a couple of times before your vision loses its blur, and the faces look way better to your own eyes. Shock still fresh on their faces, a weird sound rises by your throat as you try to clean it before talking. Namjoon holds his laugh back, but you can see it in the redness of his cheeks and the veins that struggle under his skin. 

‘‘I-’’ you clear your throat, once again as it comes hoarse from sleeping. ‘‘I’m sorry, can you say it again?’’ Mr. Lee stares directly into your eyes, he opens his mouth but closes again. And you know you will try to drown yourself in the sink if the corner of his mouth hasn't curled up. 

You sigh, before he asks again, and listens to your explanation. You try to keep it smooth, and once you start to talk about your work, all the sleep leaves your head, enthusiasm fills it place. 

You love your work. Falling asleep doesn’t mean the opposite. 

‘‘I swear to god if you won’t stop laughing, Kim-’’ 

‘‘But..- but you told the story of our new game, drool drying on your chin, with such an enthusiastic manner.’’ Namjoon’s giggles cut himself, palm hangs in the air, other on his knee. A manager who is in his thirties enjoys his coworkers suffer, laughs his lungs off. Such a mature man. You sigh, hand curled around the cup full of water for you to go to the bathroom after. Countless times. 

Fingertips pinching the tip of your brows, you stand on the kitchen side of your office. Shame still red on your face, you barely able to hold yourself back from either crying or smashing the cup on your friend’s head. Which, you like the last option very much. It’s a shame that you possibly couldn’t do that here. Maybe later, on one of your movie nights. 

‘‘I think it was cute, though.’’ the man in his much more formal clothes rather than his usual sweatpants and his shirt enters the kitchen side. Brown hair brushed neatly on the left side, his features look good. ‘‘Don’t pressure yourself anymore. I’m sure they are used to these things.’’ 

‘‘Thank you for helping my self-reliance to gather itself, but I don’t think it’s that simple, Damien.’’ imitating his smile, even though it’s more faint then he has, you sigh once again. Taking a spot on the table, you let your head fall on it. ‘‘I was literally drooling all over myself. Ugh… such a mess.’’ 

Another laugh escapes by Namjoon’s lips, but he pats your head also. ‘‘Damien is right. You know Jihoon and Yeona will be cool about this.’’ 

You scoff. ‘‘Yeah, but I don’t refer to them by their first names as they are the Ceo’s of this company. Like you,’’ 

‘‘Then you shouldn’t refer to me with my name, too, as I’m your boss.’’ an annoying smirk alive on his mouth, he swipes his body on the table. Gulping down his coffee, his stares never leaves you. Something hot, almost burning coils in your chest. Reminding you red, as you stare at him back. Mouth wrinkled, your breath felt heavy. 

It was anger and you didn’t know how to pressure it back where it came from. Even before your pregnancy, you weren’t good with handling your emotions, but now. With so many hormones not knowing what to do, you were even worse. Sudden crying sessions, constant fury always ready to burst out, and the sneaky, dark anxiety getting you at the worst moment, where you were alone and in the dark. It was hard, and too much. Even before being pregnant, and while being pregnant. You weren’t good with them. 

‘‘You know what, I decide not to cook for you anymore.’’ heartbreak flashes in Namjoon eyes, you crossed your arms over your chest. ‘‘You can buy your own chicken breast from somewhere and eat that shitty sauce.’’ 

‘‘Ouch..’’ Damien who is currently watching the cold vibrations coming from you, stays silent after your gaze lands on him. He is scared, and not ready to be the next target of your stinging tongue. Though, it doesn’t last that long. 

Once you see the tremble of Namjoon’s lips, and his hug follows his sorry’s, your coldness melts away. Shame creeps back, sits heavy as you lower your head on the table. But before you can dive in your bad scenarios in your head, brutal yet familiar bickering starts when Nara enters the kitchen, after she takes her place on the table. Her nose crinkled with disgust while waiting for Namjoon to end his insults, only to throw another to him. Damien tries to cut them off, but it’s useless as he gives up and rests his back on his chair. Hesitant stares gather on you, only to tear them apart while you pretend like you didn’t notice. 

Yet, you don’t want to suffocate yourself with your thoughts, you raise your head, eyes meeting with the brown haired man. Because you don’t and probably can’t break that cold war between your friend and Nara, you find your escape on Damien. 

‘‘So, we have to prepare a meeting for you to put a suit on?’’ cocking your brow high, you ask. His surprise fades after a moment of waiting. Maybe because you aren’t the warmest person or because of the effect of your friends that filled your head with the idea of him having some feelings for you, you never attempt to talk with him first. Not that he isn’t a decent man, but more likely, you weren’t into him and did not want to make a wrong move. For him to get the wrong idea. 

But maybe you are being stupid for believing your delusinal friends about his feelings, and he just wants to be friendly. Though, it’s good to not risk anything, right?

‘‘Suits just not my type, and also, who is wearing these other than him?’’ Damien points Namjoon, who is in a deep, hurtful conversation with your other coworker. You tear your eyes from him to land on Damien once again, his smiling this time. Wide, eyes imitating it. ‘‘Also, doesn’t it hurt your feet? You weren’t wearing heels for a long time.’’ 

After he mentions it, your feet start to pulse with pain. Embarrassment clouded all over your other senses, but his words bring them back. And you wrinkle your face in pain. Of course, it hurts. How it won’t hurt while your feet try to set themselves free by growing bigger inside of its cage and the process isn’t an easy one. Though, these whining are the last thing for your coworker to hear so you simply go with a soft smile. 

‘‘Yeah, a bit but nothing I can’t handle.’’ 

‘‘Oh okay then. Good to hear.’’ he leans closer, eyes gleaming like a child in his pre-mischievous stage. ‘‘Just in case, I have a pair of nice sneakers waiting in my closet. All comfy and less deadly.’’ 

Mirroring the act, you also get close to him. Palm covering the side of your curled mouth, ‘‘I will consider it, but why are you acting like you were selling drugs?’’ whispering the half of your words, you cocked your head aside, watching his face wrinkle due to his growing smile. And seeing him from this side, you realise how good looking he is. Radiant smile adds more point to his charisma as he does, eyes narrow but curls cutely on the ends, and for a second you just stare at his side profile. His spotless skin dips on the cheek as his dimple wants to show off. Thankfully, when he starts to talk the silvery sheet goes away, to your luck. 

‘‘Well, we won’t want other heel wearers to come at my desk for my fancy shoes, right?’’ 

Nodding, you point your finger at him as if he made a good point. ‘‘I see… Of course we wouldn’t want that, of course.’’ 

After the short break, everyone turned in their work the same as you. And you find yourself so tired after talking about the details of the story of your current game with Heejin. Trying to find reliable reasons and motives is hard for some time, as you continue to work on the specific character’s choices in the game, and why and exactly how they should do is sometimes irksome even when you have someone who tries really hard to help you. Yet, you know you can’t put all the weight on Heejin’s shoulders as the poor woman barely had some sleep because of the pre-cold effect. 

When she sneezed for the fourth time in the last five minutes, you had to stop and be sure of her well being. Putting your palm on her clothed arm, you mimicked a smile to look sympathetic rather than annoyed. Even though you were a little bit. Thankfully, she doesn’t have to know that. 

‘‘I know I asked this before but are you sure you are okay? Maybe you should take a rest for the rest of the day. Obviously, you need some.’’ 

She looks hesitant at first, eyes widens at your words but she covers it with a faint smile and nods. ‘‘Oh, I’m okay, I’m okay. You don’t have to worry about me.’’ Heejin bites down her lip before continuing again. ‘‘Did I annoy you? I’m sorry, I just took a pill, so I think that will make me better in a couple of minutes.’’ 

‘‘No, no…’’ pulling your hands in the air, you shake your head in denial. It did bother you but not much for her to apologize for being sick. ‘‘I just wanted to check on you, I’m not… disturbed. It’s okay.’’ 

Your half reassurance works barely, as she tries to lower the voice of her sneezes after that. And everytime, a drip adds to your growing guilt. As Heejin is younger than you for three years, and you have been working here longer than her, it puts some stairs between you two and now with that, you fix the ice between you two. The ice that you have been trying to melt from the first day she was here, and now, thanks to your pregnancy hormones, it started to build once again. Not just with Heejin, but everyone around you was walking on eggshells around you as your rage came out of nowhere, so sudden that sometimes it even shocks you. But for a stupid reason - well, it’s not stupid as you are pregnant and that played with your emotions -, you couldn’t control the sudden change of your feelings. 

One second being calm and the other being tense did tire you for sure as senses flow through every nerve you have. Breathing exercises merely helped, and that led you to staying away from the people around you. As sometimes words come out rude before you can realise. And nobody deserves that kind of attitude, even the ones you know from your childhood. 

For that reason, you turned down Taehyung’s offer to come with you as you know that owing to his nature, he will do something silly to make you angry or stressed even when he does it with all his good intentions. Some days, even when you are in your usual state you can’t stop being bothered by him, and you had no intentions to taste it today. Which, nothing was normal in your current mental state, so that’s for the best. 

Driving past the now familiar streets, you learned a new thing: Driving with a jean without opening its button can be hard, as you have to undo the button while your stomach growls in need. While your stomach become visible, looking like you ate too much for your stomach to handle, sudden thirst for stupid cravings increased day by day. Sadly, it affected your friends as much as you. 

In the middle of night, you woke Yoongi up for him to get you apples, pickles for Taehyung and last but not least, ice cream for Namjoon. As your cravings decide to choose the oddest times, three of them find the solution to fill your fridge until there is no space left. Well, after you sat on your kitchen floor and cried they had to eat some of them with you, as they basically called you fat by doing that, and paid for it. For them, they just wanted to make sure you get what you want but at this point, what they thought barely mattered. 

‘‘Okay, that was tiring.’’ you whispered through your exhale, while parking the car. For the records, parking turned into a hell show for you as going further and back, further and back, further, further and back has your nerves strain like a string. Though, you never liked it anyway. You were ready to leave your car, but the ringtone of your phone cut the act. 

‘‘Hey, mom.’’ 

‘‘Nope. Your voice sounds the same, rather than I thought so.’’ sighing, you brushed your face by your palm. Words like a needle on the skin, your mother always knew how to use them. ‘‘Well don’t ‘ahhh’ at me. As we barely speak, I obviously expect to forget your voice, tell me if I’m wrong.’’ 

Nodding as if she is able to see you through the phone, you put your head on the wheel. She was annoyed as it was very clear by her high and thin tone. 

‘‘Yes, Ma’am.’’ your reply earned another high pitched warning from her so you had to calm her between your giggles. ‘‘Okay, okay… You’re right, Mama. I should call you more but you know work and everything keeps me busy. But I will try my best, promise.’’ 

‘‘Apology accepted. But even though I know you prefer to talk about work, and the video thing you adore talking about, I’m most likely interested in my baby’s baby. So, how’s the pregnancy going?’’ 

This is the exact reason why you didn’t call her more than you did. As she is very interested in your life and interior with it, of course pregnancy will be the same. And you couldn’t ignore the things you can as she will talk about them, will want to know about them and give some advice from her past experiences. Not that you will need any of them, but of course as you postponed everything, you did the same thing to this topic, too, and left your mother in the dark. You will run as far as you can. 

‘‘They called games, not video thing but it’s your choice.’’ while thinking of it itched your tongue, you swallowed all the tensing thoughts down, and ready yourself to talk. ‘‘And the… pregnancy is going good if we don’t count the constant eating, peeing, crying, being tired twenty-four-seven, not fitting in my favorite clothes and all the pain it put me through.’’ 

She laughs as if you just told the funniest joke she heard. Cocking your brows, you run through what you said to make her laugh this much to fail. 

‘‘Ohhh, my baby. Stop talking about this as the things are all bad. You have a baby in your belly, your baby. They will become your everything, and mostly good things because you will love them more than anything you can. Believe me, I could die in return for your laugh. A bubbly, vivid laugh. Ahh… remembering it made me soft, right now.’’ 

‘‘Trying to be unbiased about gender, I see?’’ 

‘‘Well, I don’t want to affect the baby.’’ 

Though you want so bad to ask how that could actually affect the baby, you stay silent. All the baby talk is already pulling you down, it is better if you can stay out of the gender topic as much as you can. Not that it mattered, you thought. 

‘‘What do you mean? Why it wouldn’t matter darling?’’ 

Huh? 

Clearly, you weren’t thinking, but murmuring under your breath as your mom heard it. When you hit your head on the wheel, the horn startles you both. Fixing your posture, you answered your mother’s hurried question. 

‘‘It was horn, I’m in the car. Yes, yes I’m okay, don’t worry. I’m at the hospital- No, no- Mom, for the appointment. Yes… yes, for the baby. I will talk to you later, okay? I will call, I promise- Yes, I promise. Okay, love you, too.’’ 

You sigh once again. A loud one. 

You do hate lying to the woman who would do anything you want, but you know she is not ready to lose her grandchild, yet. You are not ready for the speech you will receive, also. Not that it will be harsh or critical, you just are not ready to accept the whole thing. Yes, you still had problems with the whole pregnancy thing even though you made your mind with adoption. You still had thirty weeks to go, and that won’t go fast. Not in a normal time, or in the pregnancy. 

Head full of blurring thoughts, you missed the man who shakes his hand from afar. The black haired man’s smile faded as you passed by his side without sparing a glance. Too busy with thinking how to calm your mother after you give her the news. The news that she won’t have a grandchild anytime soon. Fuck… that’s gonna be hard. 

Well, maybe not hard as much as the door you decide to welcome it with your face rather than opening. A loud thud, and muffled curse under your breath, instinctively you checked your nose if there is more than the pain you feel, as there is no blood you calm down, shoulders drop their usual place. Apparently, you were conscious enough to lead yourself to the floor where your doctor’s office, past the stairs, and find his door but when it comes to open the door you fail. Tears sit on your eyelids at once as you close them due to the pain that crushes your sight. Trying to massage your nose bridge barely helps but giving it a try won’t hurt, you think. 

‘‘Oh my, are you okay?’’ from your closed and blurred eyesight, you can’t choose who is the one talking but his voice lets you know that he is your doctor, Seokjin. ‘‘I heard a loud thug but couldn’t understand it was a human until you groaned. Are you okay, you bumped your nose? Let me get a look at that.’’ 

Not forgetting to thank him while he guides you inside his office, now you are able to open your eyes and set the tears free as they go down. Seokjin sits you on the white sheeted chair, handles your head to go right and left as he scans your face and nose behind creased eyes. He looks really concerned, more than you, and somehow it puts you on a stage where you feel like you have to make him sure that you were okay and nothing was wrong. It still feels weird when someone gets concerned over you more than yourself, as who would care for someone more than one’s self so it’s still vague. 

‘‘I-I’m actually okay. I didn’t hit that hard as it sounds, it doesn’t even bleed so…’’ wry smile is all you offer him as your voice trails down when his eyes meet with yours, a bit keen rather than you thought they will. 

Seokjin sighs with a line between his brows but he lets go, and when he puts a decent distance between you and himself, professionalism settles in his features as he adjusts his tie. 

‘‘It does look okay, but make sure you put some ice when you can as it could leave a bruise behind.’’ he smiles, both sweet and very technically. As he practiced it for every client he had and now performing it without any difficulties. It looks natural. ‘‘So, tell me how are you feeling? You should still have the early pregnancy symptoms such as morning sickness, sleep issues, and more likely they will hang around for a few more weeks. But it’s more important if you have a symptom that comes unnatural or unbearably painful for you?’’ 

After taking two deep breaths, you feel ready to give him a reply. Nose still throbs by the hit but it’s faint now. 

‘‘Uhm…- yeah, other than the ‘expected’ symptoms, I don’t feel like something is wrong, or not supposed to happen. No more painful urination, though I still need it frequently.’’ you grimace lightly as you share, shifting a bit. ‘‘But yeah, I’m okay.’’ you try to wipe the fresh embarrassment with the non glowing smile you had in your storage. Probably he should but you still don’t know if he needs to know that you choose adoption. As he is your doctor, and the one who is taking care of you and the baby, you know that he must know about it, but unpleasant eerie stops you from doing what you should.  

Old habits die hard, that’s for sure. 

‘‘Excellent. It’s good to hear that everything is going on it’s way, and today, as now you are in the tenth week of your pregnancy, I’m recommending you a genetic test in case there is any birth defect.’’ 

‘‘What is that?’’ even though Seokjin was done with talking, you utter so fast that it feels like you interrupted him, as you shut your mouth with wrinkled brows. It was just getting tiring day by day with all of these tests, things to do and not to do, being extra careful because you have another living creature in you to take care, more than yourself. No more selfish, damaging, stupid choices can be done as your body no longer belonged to you. At least not only to you and this was really, really tiresome. 

As he was expecting this, Seokjin comes up with some papers as you can understand them. ‘‘As I said before, it’s a test to acknowledge any kind of defect in the baby. These tests take two forms: screening tests and diagnostic tests. And a screening test tells you the likelihood that your baby could have a birth defect; a diagnostic test tells you with more than ninety nine percent certainty whether the baby has the disorder.’’ He explains more as you take the papers from him, scanning the words but they are almost identical as Seokjin continues with his further explanation. The blank eerie gets heavier and heavier the further he talks, and when he comes to the risks, it feels like your pulse palpitates on your throat. Tearing your eyes from the papers that sit on your lap, you stare at the man who is still talking. 

‘‘There is small risk of miscarriage, that’s why you need to carefully consider tha advantages and the disadvantages of these test before you make any decision, even it’s small.’’ 

A slap to the face, a weight falls on your stomach after Seokjin is done with his statement. Mouth hangs open, you stay still, silent as the Doctor waits patiently, now he is behind his desk, sitting his hands intertwined. As if he knows the new information would put a heavy dullness in you as he searches your every movement, yet you gave him hardly any. 

‘‘Do I… have to?’’ 

The idea of taking these tests would be tiring is there but the cause of your nausea is not just that. More likely, it’s the idea of losing something. Even though that something doesn’t belong to you because you never wanted it, and nothing has changed since then. Whether it's the guilt of knowing everything caused because of your recklessness, or it’s because you feel obligated to give the baby a good life due to your current maternal instincts - you hardly say you had one -, whether it’s beside you or far away from you, you feel the suffocating necessity. Even if the risk has one percent chance, you can’t take it. Maybe it’s odd to push your one percent chance to become free with the back of a hand, but that would be running away, and both of you already had one runner in your lives, and the baby wouldn’t need another. 

‘‘I know it sounds scary but you can take your time, you don’t have to do it now. You can search it a bit more about the cons and pros but I never had any problems with my former clients if you need any consolation. And you can always ask for me more.’’ 

Chewing your bottom lip, you still look at him in the eye like you need to give him an answer. You do trust your doctor but that doesn’t mean that you purposely rejected the idea of getting abortion while you deal with an unwanted pregnancy only to come across with a risk of miscarriage. Of course it is always there whether you do the test or not, but that's nearly a consolation. 

Nodding, you put all the papers in your bag before leaving the doctor’s office. Biding your goodbyes after ending with this week control. 

You come to the hospital with a dazed head, and you were going to leave it even more wrecked. But you just needed some air, somewhere to ease the wave of emotions that is going through your head. To catch your breath, you adjust your route to the cafeteria in the outdoors. Maybe, that could help you somehow. 

Not temporarily, but taking fresh air in your lungs somehow helped you. The phone call you had with Taehyung while you were at the verge of tears, too, and you sit in the cafeteria during all of these. Mimicking the doctor's words to your friend and Taehyung had listened to you, hang on your every word as much as he can on the other side of the line. Tried to console you, said that things will be alright and nothing bad will happen as if he was as sure as his name. And momentarily, you believed him. Both because you needed it, and he was being a good friend and you didn’t want him to feel useless. 

For good or ill, now, your heart is resting in ease. 

Well at least it was until you see a glimpse of dark uniform in the corner of the wall, and then a familiar face you haven’t seen in a while. A smile that softly shaped as heart, causing your heart to palpitate fast but in a much different way than the news you learned today, or the idea of your mother's future disappointment. It’s more thrilling and in a way even scarier than the other two options. As the opposite of how familiar the face is, the reason for your heart going this insane was abrupt. Even odd when you think the very less time you spent with the owner of the familiar face, yet it was there, forcing you to gulp down, consume every emotion he forced you to feel. 

Contrary to what you expect - and you didn’t know why you were expecting him to be happy after seeing you - his face falls, the shape of heart shutters around his mouth. And to your shock, it put needles somewhere near to your chest. 

The last time you saw him, the atmosphere was intense as you shared things that normally you wouldn’t do with a partially stranger but with him even though feelings were gloomy, you weren’t uneasy. And to you, when he was consoling you, internalizing what you were telling him, he wasn’t disturbed. At least he didn't look like that. But, the more you size him up, the more you get sure of his strange disturbance. And it did burn. Smoke choked you down, and put tears on your eyes. Fucking pregnancy hormones…

Not aware of your action, you caught your hand in the air, in the middle of a shake as Hoseok greeted you by the tiny bow of his head. And expecting more cutted harsly, as a knife in the gut. 

Whether it’s because of your blind act, or whether he feels obligated, Hoseok comes closer to the table you were sitting, leaving the person behind he was talking to before he saw you. With every step, you breathe another air to gather your confidence a bit high, but it’s useless as your hands start to tremble under the table, fortunately away from his sight. 

‘‘H-hi,’’ no matter how much Hoseok tries to sound friendly, it’s not, and you can hear in his voice as it comes out broken. His eyes are still deep and candid but not glowing the way it fascinated you when you first saw him. Still, you greeted him with a tight smile, wave of your hand small. 

‘‘Take a seat-’’ pointing the available chair, you cut yourself to say something else. To correct your words. ‘‘I mean if you want… of course,’’ 

To your surprise, he holds the chair to adjust for him to sit on. But everything feels so forced and awkward that you can’t stop wondering if you said something to him and cause him to feel uncomfortable around you. Your brain works so hard to scan the memories of that day, but you fail to find something so disturbing to make Hoseok shift in his seat, a line between his brows and a noticeably insincere smile. 

It takes minutes for someone to talk first and scare the clouds away only for a moment. 

‘‘Are you waiting for your appointment or has it already finished?’’ 

‘‘Ah, yeah, it’s done. I just needed to take a moment and fresh air because…’’ your voice eventually trailed off as you realised he just asked to look friendly and probably doesn’t want to hear your whelming emotions anymore. ‘‘of stuffs, you know.’’ 

Hoseok nods, his mouth thin as a line, and even though it shouldn’t, it breaks your heart. Yes, this man owes you nothing, and of course he doesn’t have to sit there and listen to how sorry and depressed you feel over the things doctor Seokjin have told you, but it still hurts to see him this… joyless. The curiosity burns deep and wild as you desperately want to know what the hell you did to make him this anxious, but your mind barely helps as you wander in the empty field. 

‘‘I should probably get going-’’ 

‘‘It’s been a while-’’

Words clashing and drowning one another, silence takes over and Hoseok abruptly stops above his chair as he was about to leave before you parted him. And now he looks at you with wide eyes, fear in his chest growing big as your bottom lip trembles for only a second but he catches it. 

He sits back on his seat with hands on the air. ‘‘Oh, yeah, it’s been a while since we last saw each other.’’ he says but you know it’s out of pity, and you would rather die than crumbling under his gaze. So you shake your head with a false smile, though hammers work in your chest. 

‘‘Ah, don’t mind me. Go ahead, you are probably busy and have so much to do. So, you can leave, seriously.’’ 

‘‘No-, no, no, Y/N. I’m sorry, I want to stay and talk to you, really. I really am sorry for acting rude.’’ 

Maybe because the look on his face, or the warm tone of his voice, you decide not to pressure him to leave after you ask if he really wants it for a second time. But he nods and smiles, and this time it reaches his eyes, a hot pink blossoms in you. 

Though, before either of you can say anything, a touch at your back stops you. You hear the breathy voice before you turn your head. ‘‘Ahh, finally I found... you. Care to explain why you are-...not picking your phone?’’ 

And when you turn over, you see a panthing Yoongi. His hand on his knee and looks at you with concerned gaze. Then, they leave you only to land on the man on the other side of the table, and Yoongi’s eyes go wide. 

He extends his hand in a non-moving shake to the air. ‘‘Oh, hi. Sorry to butt in.’’ he stretches his hand towards him, the ghost of a smile appears on his lips. ‘‘It’s Yoongi,’’ 

Voice deep, and it takes long to draw out when the man in dark uniform mirrors the act. ‘‘Hoseok.’’ 

[bowtied-pasta]

Hanahaki thing... I guess

True and Splendor in this one 👉👈

“Im so glad you could join me for lunch, True. We don’t hang out as often as I think we should.” He smiles as he clears his throat a bit before taking a drink from his own glass.

“I enjoy our time together too. I’m all for spending more-“ she gets cut off as she begins to cough violently. Eyes wide in panic as she grabs at her shirt, pulling it away from her chest as if it would help her in some way.

“True! Are you....” he trails off as she spits out pink petals and small yellow blooms. They appeared to be lilacs and acacia. Hanahaki.

She laughs humorlessly, voice coming out hoarse as she takes small sips from her own beverage. “Sorry. I thought I had better control of it. I know it’s gross.”

He stares at her, astonished. She didn’t have much room to be so nonchalant about such a thing. Then again... he would be a hypocrite to chew her out for it. “True... this isn’t a laughing matter. Who... which one is it? Is it Finley? Damien, or even Gage? All of them? They’re all very accepting, I’m sure they wouldn’t turn you away if you confessed.”

Her gaze locked on him, he gave her time to think. He knew love was a tricky matter, especially when your life was literally on the line like hers was. Finally, as if she had come to a conclusion, she turned her gaze down to the table. Eyes having misted up, not wanting him to see her cry.

“No. They can’t help me.” Her voice cracked, harshly swallowing down more infernal petals that threatened to rise as she lost her grip on her emotions.

“Well... if it’s not any of them, then who is it? I can get them here for you. I want to help you. I know this is painful for you.” He gently laced his fingers under her hand, holding them in his own as he tried to convey he only wanted to help.

“It doesn’t matter who it is, because they clearly don’t love me back. Forget it. I was destined to die.” She rips her hands out of his as she stands abruptly, quickly regretting the action as she doubles over, holding onto the table for support as she coughs up even more petals.

He rushed to her aid, stubbornly swallowing down his own issues as they threatened to come spilling out. “Relax, breath as much as you can. Don’t think about it too much, your emotions are speeding them up. Your’e going to be okay, I’m here for you.”

Her ragged breathes were interspersed with the disgusted spitting out of yellow and pink petals. He was worried to see that there was also a generous sprinkling of white petals as well, though he couldn’t be too sure about which flower it was. All he knew was that another flower was added, meaning it had progressed in a matter of seconds. He tried not to think about it as he held her hair out of her face and wiped away tear trails with a spare napkin he pulled from the table.

“True. Please let me help you. You’re very important to me and I don’t wish to see you dead. Especially not from this.” His words were spoken softly, he wanted to get through to her. He wanted to help her. She needed to get help, and he would do anything in his power to make sure she didn’t die on his watch. She just needed to want the help.

“Splendor, you-“ she chokes on more petals, swallowing them down, refusing to spit them out. Her watery gaze meets his as she grips at her shirt, tired wariness draped over her like a heavy blanket as she leans against him weakly. Taking a moment to breath before trying again. “Splendor.”

He tucked a loose hair out of her face, worried attention locked on her as she moved her grip to hold onto him instead, dependent on him to stay upright now. “Who is it, True? I can help you, I promise I will do whatever I can.”

She laughs again, more tears slipping down her face. Accepting her fate as she works out her next words. “You’re the only one who can help me, Splendor. Only you.”

He was shocked nearly frozen, but pulled himself out of it quickly when she let go of him to kneel on the ground. Fingers knotting the grass as she finally spits out the petals she was holding down to speak.

She weakly cries out as she is picked up off the ground and placed on someones lap, eyes too tear filled for her to clearly see. She pushes against their chest weakly, but freezes as lips meet her own gently. Fingers laced in her own, with the other arm wrapped around her to keep her still. She blindly returned the kiss, shyly pressing back, not knowing how to proceed as she’d never kissed anyone like this before.

She gasped as their lips parted, hand flying to her chest as she realized how easy it was to breath now. It was gone. She was cured. That meant....

She glanced up at Splendor, awe in her eyes as she watched his own hand lightly rub at his own chest. “Much easier to breath now, don’t you think so, honey bee?”

[chekhovs-harpoon]

tct ep 13 thoughts

im only like barely halfway through this episode but i /need/ to get this salt out of my system before i can continue

this episode is just,,,, incredibly difficult to listen to

firstly, why is everyone so fucking mean to adam and caitlin,, sadie and oliver especially it’s really quite annoying

like,, firstly y’all are guests is that how you treat your hosts,,, not just being mean to them, but also fucking up their toaster and burning their bread, mga hayop ang bastos tangina

i get that it’s normal to like, be a dick to your close friend’s ex, but like, you don’t get to tell people what they can and cannot get angry about. it’s also especially hypocritical to say ‘i can get angry and at you and him but you can’t’

people keep talking over and minimizing adam’s and caitlin’s feelings and i hate it

also it makes me pissed off how caleb isn’t standing up for adam,,, or at the very least telling sadie to stop being such a dick cuz it’s not helping anybody,,, im just,,, more resolute in rooting for adam and caleb to stay apart

also like,,, cut caitlin a bit of slack, this is all new to her and she /doesn’t/ have to be here,,, i mean specifically, she has an exam in 10 minutes and it’s not like she can contribute much to the ancient alchemy cult conspiracy plot so like,, why are y’all making it seem like she’s a bad friend for prioritizing her acads at this moment

like,,, she could be on scholarship, she could be poor and she /needs/ to keep her grades high otherwise she won’t be able to afford to go here

(not that anything in this show has indicated that so far, but i just project a lot onto her and she deserves so much fucking better than this)

and secondly,,, it’s immensely frustrating how they keep pointing out and lampshading all the massive glaring plotholes without actually addressing them

i mean like,, okay so it’s established that this conspiracy is dangerous and serious,,, why aren’t they contacting the am??? a bunch of college students, a washed up shitty alchemist, and a photographer probably can’t do much

and don’t tell me that the am can’t be trusted because 1) joan’s the director there and alice goes there every week for group therapy and caleb literally fucking worked for them just a couple of months ago,,, and don’t tell me that the am doesn’t know how to deal with this sort of thing when a couple of years ago they had the means to spy on and kidnap atypicals. and 2) y’all were literally there just a couple of episodes ago to get oliver’s notes which joan probably wouldn’t have handed to y’all if y’all didn’t explain to her what was up. why isn’t she doing anything??? she already knows that somebody’s been kidnapped, and that adam and caleb disappeared for days cuz of the time fucking book

i feel like,, the writers know that the bullshit book conspiracy plot could be solved by other more equipped people,, literally all it takes is one phone call to wadsworth telling her about an ancient atypical cult conspiracy and they kidnap people and also her beloved nephew is right in the middle of it,,, she literally would just send a fuckign swat team to yale to take care of that she’s that bitch and i miss her

also there’s an interesting story there, like joan says wadsworth been doing better in regards to not treating atypicals like they don’t deserve rights,,, but then here’s a bunch of dangerous atypicals in a cult that your beloved nephew is getting tangled up with,,, DO SOMETHING

and the writing is just forcing this conspiracy into adam and caleb’s story cuz they don’t think  a story of ppl just talking about their feelings and figuring out how to person is enough,,, which is /frustrating/ cuz that’s what appealed so much about the original series

also they keep pointing out that yale is at the center of the conspiracy,,, and that it was dumb of caleb to get them to stay there,,, why are y’all still here then. and i maintain the fact they really should’ve contacted the am and just got ben to stay there if they were really worried about their safety

i feel like,, mark just had really minimal lines in this, and people keep talking over him,,, just LET HIM SPEAK jesus,,, oliver is just, so awful for him and not even in a fun juicy way like damien was,, i just, it’s so frustrating hearing him having to deal with another selfish arrogant bastard,,, give this man a break is that too much to ask

and it’s honestly,,, Not Fun seeing how frankie keeps flirting with caitlin when she’s very clearly not into it, on top of being stressed about all the atypical nonsense

[shcwclf-archive]

[ MILA MINKOVA. 36. CIS FEMALE. SHE/HER] is here! They’ve lived in Silver Lake for [ 3 MONTHS ] and are originally from [ SOFIA, BULGARIA]. They are a [ PROPERTY DEVELOPER ] and in their downtime love [ COLLECTING CARS ] and [ FLIPPING HOUSES ]. They look a lot like [ CRYSTAL REED ] and live [ ON SILVERWOOD TERRACE ].

hi new friends, i’m ay and this is mila. she’s a bit of a revamp so I’m still figuring her out. below is her bio, but also a little bit of other info.

TRIGGERS PRESENT: organised crime, pregnancy, childbirth, divorce, death, military mention, alcohol, drugs, firearms.

general information.

full name        ludmila kseniya konstantinova pavlova mikova

known as                                                        mila minkova

age                                                                 thirty-six

date of birth                                                    june, 14, 1984

place of birth                                                  sofia, bulgaria

zodiac                                                            gemini

gender                                                           cisfemale

nationality                                                      american

religion                                                           atheist

orientation                                                      pansexual

relationship status                                          widowed

physical attributes.

face claim                                                       crystal reed

height                                                             5′7 ¾

weight                                                            126 lbs

hair color                                                        brunette

eye color                                                        hazel

tattoos                                                           quite a few

outfit/clothing style                                        high fashion / biker chic                                                                                                        dependant on mood!

background information.

hometown                                                     sofia, bulgaria / trousdale LA

current residence                                          silverwood terrace

spoken languages                                         english, bulgarian, spanish,                                                                                                  italian, russian, turkish, romani (balkan &                                                                              vlax)

education level                                              college graduate

occupation                                                     property developer & mother

familial information.

mother                                           nadedzdha pavlova nee minkova

father                                             dragomir pavlov

siblings                                           nadya pavlova,                                                                                                                     aleksandr pavlov

children                                          freya ksenya minkova-fallon (8)                                                                                            colt aleksandr mcgregor (19)

spouse                                           jack patrick fallon (deceased)                                                                                                damien john mcgregor (divorced)

personality.

positive traits                                                 resourceful, artistic,                                                                                                              perfectionist, resilient

negative traits                                                hot-headed, manipulative,                                                                                                     vengeful

likes                                                               tattoos, cars, her children

dislikes                                                          butterflies, assholes, pumpkin

biography:

ludmila kseniya konstantinova pavlova mikova is daughter of late Bulgarian Mob Boss Dragomir Pavlov who passed away in 2003.

Her family currently own and run the Kingdom hotel chain and in the past, this chain ran as a front  for any and all illegal activity. Their hotels are worldwide and their money flows like nothing else. Mila’s father was once considered the richest person in Europe.

Mila spent most of her life growing up in Trousdale, california however, travelling whenever and wherever, living a lavish life in trousdale until she fell pregnant at 16 and was shipped off to boarding school after the first few months of her son’s life.

Having always been a party girl, it was hard for Mila to accept that she was a mother, so she was a pretty fucking bad one for the first few months of her son’s life.

If it hadn’t been for the expensive Nannies and the hired help, Mila’s son wouldn’t have had the greatest start to life at all. How could he when his mother was so consumed with herself that she’d rather go out than stay at home and care for him?

The school changed that though, pushing her to her limits while getting her sober and allowing her the time she needed to straighten herself out.

Mila graduated with her GED, her mother then allowing her son to live with mila, but only if mila stayed at the family home, back in LA.

LA proved to be a little difficult and while Mila was so used to the life she had before, she’d rather throw herself into work.

Mila hired a nanny and decided to apply for college, gaining qualifications in property & real estate, business management, and accounting.

While she was single for most of her son’s young life, Mila found herself reconnecting with her son’s father, and the pair ended up getting married when Mila was still fairly young and starting out her career, but while it was nice to be a family, mila soon discovered that he wasn’t the man for her, in fact he seemed to be everyone elses man, and not hers.

her divorce was finalised around the time Mila got into working for the family business, developing five star hotels and luxury resorts around the world.

She can’t exactly remember how she met jack, it was possibly through a friend, but all she remembers was how utterly smitten she was with him from the very beginning. jack was a navy seal, a man who quite literally put his life on the line for his country time after time and continued down that road. mila was well and truly in love and the moment he asked her to marry him was quite honestly, one of the happiest days of her life.

eighteen months later and freya was born, without her father in the country and sadly, without ever meeting her father. while mila doesn’t know exactly what happened to jack on tour, she knew the man, while only shortly in her life, was there for a reason, and freya was that.

With her youngest now eight, Mila has spent the time buying property, indulging in the finer things in life, and living a rather frivolous life, while not dealing with grief.

She’s been in town for three months now, her family with her, though her son now does his own thing. she’s scouting a new area for a resort or hotel to expand the family chain and she’s hoping one pops up soon, while she is flipping a few houses around town.

She’ll take her time though, looking over other businesses in town, seeing which she can sink her fingers into.

extras:

mila decided to move away from the pavlov/pavlova name when she left school, opting to use her mothers maiden name of minkova.

mila can come off harsh and cold, but she was raised by mobsters, so she takes a while to warm up to, but once you get on her good side, she’s fiercely devoted.

She has two Dobermans and a dachshund (which is technically freya’s) but no cats as she is allergic. She also has horses at a country property.

She has always had a fascination with firearms and weaponry (mostly due to her upbringing) and has been shooting since she was 7 attending competitions for her school back in middle school.

She was captain of her school Equestrian team.

her love of cars started in her fathers garage as a young child, also tinkering about with her brother and cousins helping them in any way she could. her brother became quite into the street racing world, and mila followed for a short time in her late teens when she wasn’t busy elsewhere. her son’s father was also heavily into this scene.

connections:

i’m legit open to any sort of connections, but I may submit some into the main.

she’s only been here two months, but I’d be suppppper keen for some awesome platonic relationships

maybe a flirtation at a bar, possible one night stand that got awkward as mila isn’t one to hang around after and generally sneaks out in the early hours of the morning, or... right after if she isn’t trying to be subtle. 

someone she works with

someone who worked with or has dealt with her family in the past (possible law enforcement etc)

someone who knew her husband/ worked with her husband (he was a navy seal)

please IM me if you want to plot, and I can always throw you my discord :)

[hollowempire]

Final Moments || Actor!Mark x Reader

Actor!Mark x Reader Request: none

Summary: Reader goes to the party and is confused by Mark’s strange behavior. They eventually regret their decision to brush him off.

Word Count: 1,160

WARNING: Angst, mention of death

A/N: this is dedicated to Nova for encouraging me to do this.

“Y/n!” Mark exclaimed when he opened the door to reveal his partner, who was standing there with a smile on their face. He enveloped them in a hug once inside and didn’t let go for a few seconds.

“Jeez, what’s gotten into you?” y/n joked when Mark refused to let go after the usual amount of time had passed. He never held on for this long.

“Nothing, I just missed you,” he told them. Y/n shrugged and followed him further into the manor, where everyone else gathered in the living room.

After a few more guests arrived, Mark stood on his staircase and made a speech. He sent a wink towards y/n before he began, earning a chuckle from them at his dramatics.

When he finished he walked over to y/n, still laughing wildly, and immediately had an arm around them. They were confused but didn’t say anything.

But this continued for the entire night. Mark was touching and kissing y/n any chance he got. He wasn’t normally super affectionate with y/n. Sure, he was always like that in public, making sure to show off his wonderful partner to the world so they knew he was able to get himself a literal gem. But now he was in private with his friends. He had nothing to prove... so what was going on?

“Mark,” y/n said while he was busy pressing kisses to every part of their face. “Can I talk to you please?”

“Mhmm” he replied, letting them pull him to a separate room while continuing his work on their neck instead.

“Whats gotten into you?”

“What?” he asked, stopping abruptly. The two stared at each other, y/n with their arms crossed.

“You have been incredibly touchy all evening, hell, I’d even call it loving-“

“Im always like that.” Mark defended before even hearing the rest of y/n’s argument.

“No, you’re not! Which is exactly my point...” they said, running their fingers through their hair and sighing in an attempt to remain calm. “Look, I’ve never doubted your love for me for a moment and I’m not now but... why? This isn’t you. What’s going on?”

Y/n heard their voice start to waver and stopped, looking at Mark. He had a sadness in his eyes that they’d never seen before.

”Mark?”

”Theres nothing wrong,” he claimed. His voice was cold, the look in his eyes now gone.

Y/n they didn’t believe that everything was fine with him, not really. Unfortunately Mark was a very stubborn man and they wouldn’t be getting anything more out of him on the matter.

“Okay,” y/n said. “Just... just don’t. It’s weird and I feel like we’re at a red carpet event, showing me off like you always are.”

For the rest of the night Mark restrained himself. He only talked to y/n when they came up to him and didn’t touch them, despite how much he wanted to hold them in his arms and press kisses to their forehead. It killed him not be able to, but he didn’t want y/n upset with him.

Y/n went to bed without Mark, even though they usually would. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to, no, it was the opposite. Mark was just nowhere to be found, so y/n went to sleep in his bed hoping he’d show up in the night and wrap his arms around them, quickly kissing them before falling asleep together. It never happened.

Y/n was met with an empty bed when they woke up the next morning. They’d be lying if they said they weren’t worried. Mark always came back to his bed, even if he was about to pass out drunk in the middle of the winding paths outside he’d make it back. Even if it meant he had to push y/n off because he was mad at them and didn’t want to sleep with them. Yet he wasn’t there.

Y/n left the room with an awful feeling in there gut. “Have you seem Mark?” they asked the butler when he offered them a drink.

“No, I expected he’d be with you,” replied.

“Yeah, I did, too...”

They sourced everyone they could but wound up with nothing. They still hadn’t searched the house fully yet, so y/n decided to start downstairs. They were met with an unfortunate surprise.

They set out with the goal of finding Mark. They sure found him. Found him falling from nowhere and down right on front of them. His body was cold when they went to check on him.

Y/n’s loud wail of sadness brought everyone looking to see what had caused the noise. They were all soon gathered around Mark’s body as y/n kneeled over it, tears streaming down their face and quiet sobs coming from their mouth. The butler, the cook, the detective, Damien, William. Everyone. They all watched as y/n mourned the loss of their lover.

“Y/n,” the detective said. “Please let me take a look at this,” he asked, not even bothering to accuse them. He knew they wouldn’t have hurt Mark in a million years, despite how difficult their relationship had been recently.

They nodded and reluctantly left, almost unable to take their eyes off the body. Damien had to lightly push them until the whole scene was out of sight. As soon as that happened, y/n sprinted up the stairs and towards Mark’s bedroom.

As y/n collapsed into the bed and let all her tear fall free, they noticed something she hadn’t before. There was a letter on the pillow where Mark usually slept. As soon as they opened it they immediately recognized the handwriting; it was Mark’s.

So he had been there. He just didn’t bother to wake y/n up. They realized as they sat up and began reading.

Y/n,

Yes, I knew this was going to happen to me. Yes, I planned it.

That’s why I was so attached to you last night... until you told me to back off. It hurt not being able to show you I loved you in those final moments, but I didn’t want you being upset with me the last thing that happened between us. So I stayed away just as you wanted.

And I didn’t tell you my reasoning because I know you would have tried to stop me. I couldn’t let that happen, this was a necessary thing.

I love you. Please know and remember that. I really do wish I didn’t have to leave you...

I love you so much.

Mark

The Bottom of the letter was stained in tears, the last few sentences smudged slightly, especially that last ‘I love you’. His hand was clearly shaky writing that, his handwriting messier with that one than the rest. Soon Y/n’s tears joined Mark’s as they read the letter over and over, trying to drill his voice into their head.

“I’ll never forget you, Mark... I love you.”

Little did y/n know that wouldn’t be the end of their suffering.

[lemondoddle]

Ok, so! For the fmk alt (and I'm gonna make it podcast themed cause ofc i would)! 1 - Elias, Simon Fairchild, Annabelle Cane; 3 - Juno, Rita, Vespa ; 4 - Dr Bright, Caleb, Chloe ; 5 - Sir Damien, Sir Angelo, Talfryn ; 7 - Eiffel, Minkowski, Lovelace!

omg julia 🥺🥺🥺🥺tysm

1) stab, shoot or drown - Elias, Simon Fairchild, Annabelle Cane

ohohohh tricky! i dont think i can drown simon on account of him being a vast avatar and he would probably just :3 at me from under the water, so while i think it would theatrically satisfying to shoot elias i think ill shoot simon, also because the idea of holding elias under the water of some grimy bathtub in a seedy motel while his suit and combover get ruined as he thrashes sounds very gratifying, so drown elias! that just leaves stabbing annabelle which i think i could do in like a really homoerotic way where we’re inches apart from each other making eye contact and its like in movies where the camera shot is just face and chest and you just see her flinch and stumble back and it pans down to the stab wound in her stomach yknow?

3) fight aliens with, fight zombies with, fight capitalism with- Juno, Rita, Vespa

for sure fight aliens with juno, as he has prior experience from dealing with miasma. fight zombies with vespa because shes a trained assassin and the more i think about zombies the easier i think it is to fight them bc theyre literally decayed corpses they are so fragile which is like child’s play for vespa probably and i might even get some zombies down and she’d be like good job and id be like thank u ///////. and DEFINITELY fight capitalism with rita she’s like the best hacker in the universe she’d cancel all student debt and redistribute the 1%’s wealth to everyone in like 15 minutes and we’d have a wonderful conversation while she does it

4) write a book with, read a book to, hit with a book- Dr bright, Caleb, Chloe

oh no im so down for two of these but i cant hit any of them with a book i care them!! if i had to i guess i would VERY LIGHTLY hit caleb with a book on like the arm bc we were probably goofing around and i had a book in hand. i would however totally write a book with chloe that would be so fucking tight because my biggest problem with writing is that i have all these thoughts but i never know how to phrase them and having someone that could read my thoughts would be a godsend. lastly, id read a book to dr bright because that woman just needs to take a long moment and fucking Relax for once, let her lay down while i read something nice and soothing because she deserves it!! 

5) go on a six hour road trip with (no car radio, you choose who drives), sit next to on a six hour plane flight, sit across from on a six hour train journey- Sir Damien, Sir Angelo, Talfryn

definitely go on a 6 hour road trip with sir angelo, for both my entertainment and for the sake of the plane and train passengers because he is kinda real loud. i guess i’ll probably have to drive considering cars dont exist in the second citadel but either way having him in the car would be a hoot and he would keep me very entertained by telling me of his heroic adventures the whole time. the plane one is a bit of a toss-up between tal and damien because theyre both just so nervous and probably wouldnt take well to being on a plane but i think ill go with sitting on a 6 hour plane ride with sir damien, he’ll ask Saint Damien to bless the flight and get himself worked up and rambling every time there’s slight turbulence but its okay ill hold his hand and reassure him and let him lean on me to nap after tiring himself out from worrying. he’d also probably go “ha HA! thank you Saint Damien!!” after the plane lands and i think thats real neat. now i get to sit across talfryn on a 6 hour train ride which i think he still might be a little uncomfortable in the beginning, but i’ll ask him about the plants and ecosystems that pass outside the window and listen to him infodump about that and make for a pleasant lil trip  

7) go to a wedding with, go to a party with, go to a museum with- Eiffel, Minkowski, Lovelace

ooooh i would Love to go to a wedding with lovelace as my date plus one, the actual wedding would be fine and she’d give me a lovingly teasing look when i cry because im a sappy crybaby bitch and when the bride throws the bouqet she’d catch it and give me a wink and we wouldnt even be able to go to the afterparty bc id faint right then and there. go to a party with eiffel bc he’d probably carry the conversations with people and wouldnt mind that i’djust kinda trail behind him to whole time and we’d probably just end up sitting together somewhere chatting bc while i very much adore him he’s not as suave and cool as he thinks he is but that’s okay he’d probably suggest leaving the party via obscure dated reference and we’d go get pizza and drive down the road at night windows down music blasting!. and defs go to a museum with Minkowski, we’d hold hands and id get to gush about the art pieces and she’d get to gush about history artifacts bc i think she’d be really interested in that 

[wind0wg0blin]

[Raffle prize for Wthtorke. Request of their OC Damien X My Oc Frost] 

Damien was never really the type of person to venture out for public events. The crowded venues and ensuing chaos of those who over indulged themselves in the wine was enough to give anyone a headache. Though when it was announced that this event was going to be a gala it certainly piqued his interest. At work that afternoon Damien asked around with some of his more sociable co-workers and found out that the gala was being held in honor of the stations 20th anniversary. While he wasn’t quite sure how those two thing held any correlation he was interested none the less.

Damien wasn’t about to lie and say that it didn’t sound like fun. Being a professional dancer, you would think he would want his free time to consist of anything but the sport yet he was entirely too excited for this event. Especially now when he caught word that his brother Soulell would be attending, meaning he wouldn’t be dancing alone for most of the night. Or at least he hoped that wouldn’t be the case.

As soon as the bell chimed for his shift to be over Damien practically ran home from the studio to prepare for the gala. He had even picked up a new vest for the event wanting to look his absolute best. Soulell was waiting at his door when he arrived at his home looking utterly unconvinced about the approaching night. Damien could only smile as he let them both in quickly getting to work at making them both look presentable.

Things had run a little over time due to Soulell’s constant stream of complainants. Damien refusing to be late all but ran to the top deck where the gala was being held. The massive arching glass doors of the Garden Center where the event was taking place soon came into view as Damien all but dragged Soulell along behind him. The two guards at the door smiled understandingly at them as they ushered them inside finding the place already a whirl of activity and dancing figures as vaguely familiar songs played in the background.

“Wow.” Damien muttered aloud as he took it all in. Massive crystal chandeliers hung from the glass ceiling that looked out at the endless expanse of space. The sweet scent of the blooming fruit trees in the surrounding greenhouses filled the room only increasing the excitement. Damien was practically buzzing as he took a deep breath letting everything settle within him as he looked about at the many faces around him. All lost in their own little worlds, genuinely enjoying themselves.

Soulell had quickly disappeared from his side and was swept away into the sea of people leaving Damien to his own accord. Despite his former fears Damien didn’t see this as much of a problem as Damien felt himself being instinctively drawn to the dance floor where he quickly fell into rhythm with the people around him.

Damien chuckled happily as he let his long hair bounce around as he jumped along to the bass of the song bobbing along with a girl beside him who was laughing happily. So, caught up in his own little fantasy Damien didn’t notice the eyes on his till he glanced up and felt his face flush seeing a large intimidating figure watching him from across the dance floor. They were very clearly a Yautja from their mandibles to the dreads and those talon-like nails that tapped steadily on the side of a champagne glass. Damien had just barely glanced at the man before they disappeared in a sudden wave of dancers flooding the area in front of the band.

Damien shook it off as just a coincidence refusing to let some weirdo ruin his night. Finding the girl from before they hit it off and dance together for a time letting themselves simply enjoy their time as they jumped to the heavy bass of the song. Damien was truly enjoying himself as he partied along side this new friend of his. Though that was until a slow song came on and the girl politely excused herself to dance with her boyfriend who had just arrived.

Damien smiled at her and excused himself as well about to make his way off of the dance floor considering to call the night in early seeing as he had no one else to talk to. Stepping to turn Damien let out a quick gasp of surprise as he bumped right into the chest of a large man who hadn’t notice walk up behind him.

“Oh! Im’ so sorry-“Damien said quickly as he glanced up and felt his tongue become caught in his mouth. It was the same yautja from before though now much closer and much larger. Though any worry Damien may have had vanished as he looked up into the large playful eyes that stared back down at him. Damien laughed softly to himself as a rumbling laugh sounded out from the yautja.

“No need to apologize it was just as much my fault.” They spoke inclining their head slightly in apology. Damien could only smile and nod suddenly flushed by their demeanor. He couldn’t point it out but something bout this yautja made his heart speed up and his face flush. Maybe it was those eyes that seemed to just look right through him as they scanned over him. Damien felt his blush only deepen as those around the two looked at them impatiently as it was clear they were waiting for them to start the next song. Damien was just about to rush off when the yautja stepped towards him chuckling softly.  

“It seems that fate would have it that we share this dance.” The Yautja teased as his mandibles flared into what Damien could only assume was their equivalence of a smile.

“May I have this dance?” They asked holding out their hand as they bowed slightly playfully imitating something a prince from a movie would do. Damien could only laugh as he took his hand.

“You might as well, everyone else got taken.” Damien teased and was happy that it was received well as the yautja laughed boisterously pulling him closer as they began to sway gently to the tune.

A few moments were spent simply watching the other dancers and listening to the chime of the music. Damien quickly found himself entranced to the small world they were creating between themselves. His heart fluttered when he felt the yautja’s beating just as heavily under the palm of his hand which now rested carefully on the alien’s large chest. The aliens two toned eyes watching his every move with such piercing intensity it made him feel a way he had never felt before.

“My name’s Frost by the way.” The yautja explained leaning down in an attempt to talk privately seeing as the dance floor was now crowded with many curious people watching the two dance. Before he could manage a reply Damien felt himself be ever so carefully dipped to the lull in the song. This yautja clearly knew a bit about dancing which was a definite plus in Damien’s book but judging by the way he was constantly stepping backwards he wasn’t very practiced at it.

“I’m Damien. Its nice to meet you.” Damien finally introduced himself as he was swept in close to the larger male momentarily resting his head on the yautja’s chest.  Damien smiled sweetly up at frost earning him a toothy grin just before he was spun suddenly to the side being lifted clearly off his feet. Damiens eyes widened as frost lurched slightly as a large man crashed into him before dropping to the floor clearly intoxicated.

“Sorry about that didn’t want you taking a spill from that guy.” Frost explained ushering them aside as a group of on lookers rushed over to check on the drunk who was now struggling to stand.

“Maybe we should move this conversation to somewhere less crowded.” Damien offered as the band stopped completely seeing as the dance floor was now flooded with worried by standers all flocking the drunken fool crawling about.

“Lead the way.” Frost motioned towards a remotely clear pathway leading off the dance floor. Damien took hold of the cuff of the yautja’s jacket and took the lead. He was able to find a clear path that lead them out of the main room into the actual gardens which were scare of any people thankfully. Well, shy of a few workers that were going about and spraying down the many hanging baskets.

Damien released Frost as they wandered further into the garden, Damien craning his neck to look out the massive arching windows. The stars outside twinkled brightly as the two came to sit down together on a clean bench near a small collection of apple trees that were heavy with fruit. The smell was delightfully sweet and mixing with the heavier musk of the yautja beside him it doing wonders for Damien’s senses.

“How come we’ve never met before; it seems like it would be hard to miss someone as handsome as yourself passing by.” Frost offered smiling softly as his hand brushed against Damien’s. Shyly Damien rested his fingers over the yautja’s much larger ones not brave enough to hold hands.

“I don’t go out often, never see much interest in the little parties that are thrown.” Damien admitted looking away a bit embarrassed by the fact he just indirectly admitted he’s a shut in. Frost just laughed happily as he scooted closer butting his shoulder into Damien’s.

“No worries I’m the same way. Only here to support a friend of mine. Though had I known I would’ve met you tonight I would’ve dressed my best.” Damien’s felt his brow raise instinctively as he glanced at Frost’s attire. If this was him not trying what’s his best look like? Damien pondered before both Frost and himself were screaming in surprise.

The two shot up in surprise as they were sprayed with a stream of ice water. The worker who hadn’t over heard their conversation due to their overly loud headpohones, apologized profusely as the hurried over offering a small hand towel in condolence.

           The two were literally dripping from their unprecedented showers and making small puddles beneath themselves. Despite this very apparent wrench in any plans they might have had frost still managed to laugh at the absolutely crazy situation they were in.

           “Well it looks like we best go our ways for the time being. Though if you’re up to it we can continue this conversation another time.” Frost offered as he wrung out a large amount of water from his jacket as he pealed it off revealing a lot as his white button up clung to his chest and sides.

           “Yeah, I can give you my number and you can just text me if you want.” Damien chuckled nervously as he made his move, genuinely wanting to know more about this alien.

The two quickly exchange numbers before frost excused himself leaving a trail of water behind him. Damien, despite this night turning out unlike anything he had predicted, was quite happy with the outcome.

Smiling to himself Damien made his was home uncaring of the puddles he left in his wake or the mess he was bound to leave in his house as he made his way into the bathroom stripping off the now cold and soggy suit for some nice warm and fluffy pjs. Curled up snuggly in bed happy to retire for an early night Damien noticed his phone dimly glowing on his nightstand. His smile only brightened as he read the words scrolling across his screen.

           ‘Date this Saturday? I promise no one will get wet this time.’

[This is a gift for @wthtorke and its also their prize for the raffle I did some time ago. I of course had to add more to it as I wanted to find a way to repay them for being such an understanding a great friend. I only wish I could do more cause even though i spent idk how long on these things I still feel its not enough to properly repay them for being them.]

[dantus-rattus]

Have been thinking about second citadel and specifically the most recent ep so here are some Thoughts about damien and what happened there:

we're all screaming 'oh fuck damien what are you doing' because from the outside we have so much more context, for example we know the entire thing that happened with rilla and what happened and was said in the court etc so we sympathize a lot with arum and rilla and whats been going on with that particularly part of the story. 

but from damiens POV?? 

sidenote: i saw a post about how damiens anxiety would increase his need of structure and a security in what he knows and how he understands the world (which boy do i relate to that tbh) and that would explain and factor in quite a lot as well.

- like this man literally met a lizard monster, his enemy by nature, the world and everything he holds as truth right.

- then he gets confusing feelings which are obvious to us, but inconvenient at best for damien and i imagine some level of terrifying especially considering hes in love with rilla, a human, genuinely so but also safe and not challenging his beliefs and truths. 

- after that he deals with arguably the love of his life (not trying to discount his feelings for arum but i hope you get what i mean when i say he was very devoted to rilla regardless of what happens with arum) disappearing with no clue about her safety etc, then finding out it was by that same lizard that made everything so complicated in the first place.

- then the whole deal with sir marc and talfryn and SPORTS, all the while still not knowing what we meanwhile found out as we follow rilla's story and eventually how that evolves up until the court events.

- and then damiens entire belief in the world, how it works and how it came to be changes, a person he believed in is now a monster instead of a hero and the tapestry is wrong (a thing he mentions multiple times and gets erratic and anxious about). 

like thats a lot to fucking deal with holy shit, also nevermind adding the general casual life threatening danger and stress along the way of just doing all that.

- he then gets there and sees arum, who he still has feelings for im sure because of how he describes feeling when he looks into his eyes, and also rilla, who as far as he knows was kidnapped by arum and who he came to save from arum.

i actually understand that he kinda lost it in that moment and his brain decided enough was enough, and as for his decision to attack arum??

its only my possible interpretation but to me it can be seen as, it started when arum first showed up (from damiens specific POV) so no wonder his brain in all this chaos might think 'thats the cause, thats where it all went wrong and i will make my world right again by killing him and being sure of who i am.'

especially with the added pressure of all the possible changes to what he thought was the truth about the world and how it works, he could be very desperate for any kind of security in his knowledge and life and do extreme things to stick with the safe truth, aka knight vs monster.

like of course i dont want damien to attack and kill arum and i dont think it’ll happen but god, thinking about it it does make sense why it happened like holy shit this man went through a lot with no justification/context like we know as listeners, and to us its a story but thats his entire life thats being changed right there.

sidenote, i dont mean to say the others havent gone through a lot but this is meant specifically about damiens motivations for his actions since that is what this post is about. 

like its not unfounded or unreasonable, thats a very human reaction to a lot of anxiety and stress which is at the very least a side effect of all this.

i mean i know danger is a part of life, especially in this universe filled with monsters etc. but fuck rilla got kidnapped like holy shit? i think because its a fantasy world and theres monsters we (not to assume but i def do this) might forget how we would react if a loved one, int this case damien with the anxiety/devotion to rilla levels, got kidnapped by one of those monsters.

like i dont mean to make light of IRL happenings by comparing but consider the fact that all monsters are assumed to be dangerous killers, lets be real if rn irl a loved one were to be kidnapped by what we know to be a dangerous viscious killer we would all lose our shit.  i know a lot of horrible and dangerous things happen in the second citadel universe (again, i dont mean to say damien somehow has it worse) but that doesnt make any of it (including rillas kidnapping) any less bad.

and then you find out thats the one youve been having confusing feelings for, and also the killer is not what you thought it was to be, and its place in the world and by association yours is now also suddenly unsure.

and then you meet that assumed vicious murderer and also your loved one is right there like fuck dude.

i can only guess of course but i also wouldnt be suprised if that was how damien would perceive the whole thing and yknow what i think his reaction is understandable. i want arum to be okay but having an emotional unreasonable reaction (and tbh considering damiens POV it would be reasonable, because he doesnt know what we know) to such a huge deal is not unexpected or out of character to me.

i also just realized like, damien and arum obvs had a few moments during their duels to the death, but a LOT of characterization of arum for me personally took place during rillas time there and also a bit in the court house, aka damien missed all of that. so i wouldnt be suprised if that despite damiens realization of 'monsters could be different' he doesnt have the level of....familiarity?? with arum as a person that rilla has.  so no wonder he would still default to the 'monsters are horrible killers and should be destroyed' like i dont think he has a solid idea of monsters being possibly good, just the sense that hes had since the beginning because of arums eyes but it makes sense to me that in this moment after all that happened his brain would override it with 'no the world needs to stay as it is, and he is a monster and you are a knight.'

anyway all of this is speculation and personal interpretation so i could be completely wrong but take these thoughts because it was interesting to think about.

[antiquexbeast]

Hey so I love your ship with antiquexbeast. Christblood deserves more love and vampire/witch + demon christblood deserves even more! Can you give us a few headcannons or little fun facts for the ship?

i think you mean @sacrosanctdeceit lol, but that’s chill afefaiwenfiidk im glad ya’ll like our? flailing mess of 30 half verses and wine fueled crack bullshit???idek what headcanons i can give really for the whole ship, mostly since damien acts very differently to the other depend on the verses. i can try to do a minor breakdown of each though?

                      damien, actual good boi           as a friendship, yeah they’d be a little weird, but pretty much everyone on the block is weird, so they’d find ways of enjoying each other’s company of course ~           as a romantic ship or anything else like that on it’s own, in canon, with like… no au spices or anything, idk i honestly have a hard time shipping it and writing for it lol. this has everything to do with damien as a person and the sheer fact that he wouldn’t ever fuck a married dude, let alone a dude whose married to his best friend like what lol??

demon!joe just terrifies the shit out of him so that’s… yeah… not much to say about that there tbh it’s self explanatory lol

                     vampire!damien         you know what’s jacked up about this ship? technically he just waits for everyone in the neighborhood to die and then he can be fine hanging out with this demon who, for some inexplicable reason, really has the hots for him.         but damien hangs out in his coffin chewin his nails every morning like “jfc i’m terrible, i’m literally out here messin’ around with the thing possessing the body whose body is married to my best friend oh my god what is wrong with me this is awful and terrible this needs to stop how do i stop this??” but invariable does… nothing… to fix… the problem… until it becomes a debilitating issue lol

also spoiler: i don’t think he’s… actually told this thing that he loves them lol. he’s feelin’ Some Kinda Way about the whole thing but STILL goes and MESSES AROUND with this DEMON, like BOI what I s YoU DoiN??

HCs??       - thoroughly enjoys being domestic and old and will literally come over to curl up on the couch and knit next to demon!boi while he’s doing something calm.        - out of sheer archaic habit, he’s very controlled with his displays of affection and personal space, something he generally forgets that lends a hand in keeping their strange relationship in check. usually the demon is the first to provide affections and compliments first, but every now and then when he’s sure they’re alone he’ll place a hand on the demon’s just so, or press a brief kiss to the corner of his mouth.       - he refuses to tell the demon how old he is, and has made a point to say that it’s rude to ask or poke around his brain for the information. the only hint of his general age one might get would be that he periodically succumbs to fits of feral behavior. normally he’d shut himself in the underground workings of his home until he slept it off, but since the demon’s come into his life and ruined his routine, that’s been completely thrown off.       - he does go through bouts of something he can only describe as narcolepsy. it usually occurs when he’s expended a great deal of energy towards craft in a very limited amount of time, or when he’s put under too much stress ( physiological, emotional, ect ). when he sleeps, he’s never sure if he’ll wake up in a week, a month, or a decade. it’s very difficult to wake him in fact, but since the other immortal has been in his life, he’s had an easier time waking up mid coma for a few moments at a time ~

                     exorcist!damien          oh my god THIS man in particular is just? he’s absolutely polite, don’t get me wrong, he’s still a sweetheart, but he will not hesitate to back hand you into next week if you happen to be something he has to hunt and/or yeet back into wherever dimension you came from.          he’s not terribly thrilled about the job he has now, but he’s a bit stuck in it since his family made a lot of weird mistakes 50 skrillion years ago, so that’s just part of the ol’ family business now i guess. he does agree that it could be worse, and he’s very happy that the people he works for ensures that his son is always kept safe ( probably so if he dies for some weird reason they can just recruit him and be like GO AVENGE YOUR DAD or some weirdness idk that tends to happen right? )            he’s a tad bit bitter right now, but i think that’s mostly because he’s just annoyed that the target he’s trying to hunt and exterminate is trying to be friends? after previously trying to take his body? like boi… figure yourself out.

HCs??       - if this went anywhere but constant fighting it’d be a hateship i’m alive for that bc im filthy like hands down. i literally can’t think of any scenario where exorcist!dame doesn’t want to just peel the demon out and get the town Jesus Boi back. but here’s this demon. makin things hard. gettin all chummy.      - during daylight and normal hours, he doesn’t look any different, but his skin covered in a great series of tattoos ( scarification?? ) of charms, talismans, demon traps, and assorted other inscriptions. most of them are for banishing entities, ensuring he isn’t possessed, and one spot on his chest that acts as a sort of “spiritual pocket” for a single bonded weapon of choice ( The Order keeps calling them blessed script and the like, but he’s just like yeah, that’s not, you know i’m a witch right this isn’t… okay you know what? that’s fine, not gonna argue, i’m tired– )      - the main issue with the above is demon boi keeps TOUCHING HIM and activating the runes that repel him by reflex. most demons immediately pull away and complain about the pain and being burned, but demon!joe just keeps getting in his space and picking him up and carrying him around he’s just SO DISTURBED BY THIS like do you have a pain kink what is WRONG??      - istg most of this verse is Damien trying to catch demon boi in the act of some bullshit out in public. usually he’s more covert than this, but being as this target is just so SMOOTH and DECENT SEEMING and TOO GOOD at it, it’s now just driving him nuts, so he’s pulling some Willie Coyote stunts he honestly shouldn’t be      - idk i don’t have a lot for this yet other than it just makes me laugh cause i just needed something not so tense as our other verses lol

jfc this was so long I’M SO SORRY i think that’s it though i’m done afoienfawe

[chrysanthemum-brush]

Do the same task with another person 25 times; document the process

There needs to be more of a transition here i think. It goes straight from the pictures in the house to the final bus stop

Maybe instead of describing the photo, think of why the photo would be needed to be described. ex. "Jack ran his thumb over the red timestamp in the corner, the old frayed edge catching on his fingertips."

Hes interacting with it, that gives us reason to describe it in more detail- since that's the way Jack sees it

Why would he take the photos out when he knows he will get teary-eyes and put them back again? The readers might need another reason for him to do this

Ooohhh that explains it. Maybe this needs to be hinted at more in the beginning

hehe steal that from real life?

As wonderful and thoughtful some of these room descriptions are, i think this one is one too many. This section could do well without it~ but no worries if not!

I can't help but fall in love with the tone you keep consistent throughout this story, it keeps me on my toes even though nothing intense is happening- theres always a lingering feeling of the characters (especially Hylla) tip toeing through the life they've found themselves in. The mystery that comes with Hylla is amazingly engaging even though we've only seen just a little bit of her- its like there is so much information you're holding back from the reader and (as frustrating as it is because im so eager) its genius and what makes her so intricate to write. Keep up with this method of writing!! This identity you've found is brilliant

Think about what you would do if you were in Jacks position. Would you immediately notice the details of your cousins face as she talks to the general or would you take in you extremes change in your surroundings first since you literally just TELEPORTED. Emphasize how awestruck he is to be experiencing something that should otherwise be impossible. Switch this section about the characters with the section after this taking in the scene around him- this would make it more realistic!!

THIS POOR KID

One Short Daay in the Emerald Cityyy!

Yep the cat is out of the bag, I repeat: THE CAT IS OUT OF THE BAG

YES this paragraph really dives deeper into the dynamic and turmoil between the lines. Love love love this

Hehehehe

This scene gives me Diagon Alley Harry Potter vibes and I’m thriving

How else is he feeling at this moment?This is all so new to him, so is he adjusting surprisingly well? or still nervous about the understanding the world his cousin just thrust him into? Say just a lil something here so the readers are reminded of his coping process here :P

It might be just me, but I doubt a king would use the term 'girlfriend', probably lean towards 'partner' or something a bit more formal- unless he's a chill, slightly more open and progressive king, but so for those are not exactly the vibes he gives off considering his uncertainty or sternness towards Jack

Is this FORESHADOWING??!

I really hope Damien and Jack’s relationship blossoms more in the future, their characters bounce off each other SO WELL- more of this development!

NICE SEGWAY

does Hylla have a close relationship with her troop? maybe add a little detail about how she interacts with them here- that she is apart of this universe outside of just Jack

gh this is so powerful

Edgar = fridge lord

I LIKE THIS BIT

puzzels?? oo

The above excerpts are comments I made on a friend’s book she’s been working on for years. Many are comments of criticism while others are just fun reactions to the text. She’s mentioned to me how much the critiques help in terms of thematic consistencies, but also how funny comments (as if outside readers were emotionally reacting) really helps put her in the shoes of the reader as well as potentially putting a smile on her face. Writing can be intense and a break from overthinking the inconsistencies by reading a comically simplified version of the text can be relieving in some circumstances. When I write for fun, she leaves both types of comments under my work as well- we’ve discussed the writing process and how to get over blocks, finding creativity, and dealing with hard exposition while balancing it with fun scenes. It’s impossible to have as much passion for one scene as you do another, I’ve realized. I feel that that’s where art and writing deviate from each other. I’ve never encountered a time when there was a part of a project that I hadn’t felt as passionate about. Maybe that excruciating part of the process lies with technical work such as still-lifes, anatomy practice, or very detailed tonal work. The practice you must do before getting to experiment with the skills you’ve already built up. Then again, I’ve never done any intense or huge projects with many moving parts. I have a feeling my opinion on this will dramatically change during my time at RISD and I look forward to reading this reflection back a few years from now.

[i-choose-liam]

Thanks for the tag, lovely @thecordoniandiaries!

Rules: Go to www.random.org/lists/ and enter 15 of your favorite Choices characters, random sort, then match them to this list. Tag 5 others to play along.

1. Parent: King Liam (HELL NO. THAT'S MY HUSBAND!)

2. Your sibling: Prince Hamid (But that's my other husband!)

3. Your grandparent: Emma from HSS (this could work, although I consider her a younger pixelated me 😂)

4. Haunts you: Alma (Noooo. Bestieee!)

5. Your bf/gf/partner: Raydan Lykel (brb DEAD 💦)

6. Your ex: Kenna Rys (what kind of an idiot lets go of the the Queen of the Five Kingdoms?!)

7. Your best friend: Syphax (best friend with benefits, thanks 🥺)

8. Proposed to you: Logan

9. Your boss: Hayden Young (HR department at work, here we go)

10. Random person you met at the bar: Jaime (HI BABY, IT'S ME, YOUR WIFE/BEST FRIEND!)

11. Your rival: Jax (whelp)

12. Gave you your first kiss: Zig

13. Drunk and singing karaoke with: Sean (I miss him so much 🥺)

14. Played 7 minutes in heaven with: Ash (Just 7? Ugh)

15. Gave you your favourite dessert: Ximena (ofc she did ☺️)

Tagging: @kennaxval, @trr-fangirl, @angelicfangirl, @callmetippytumbles and @ladygrandmother (if you lot wanna!)

Tag Game!

In order to befriend more people in the fandom and meet all the wonderful artists and writers, I’ve decided to play this little game because I found it quite fun 💞

The Rules: I. Go to this website. www.random.org/lists/ II. Pick your favourite 15 characters from Choices, regardless of their book. III. Tag five or more people. IV. Have fun!

[after you have your randomized characters, answer the following questions in the order they were sorted]

mine: Ethan Ramsey (Open Heart) ; Avery Wilshere (Platinum) ; Thomas Mendez (Mother of The Year) ; Marc Antony (A Courtesan of Rome) ; Jen Espinoza (America’s Most Eligible) ; Fiona Sayed (Platinum) ; Hank Hatora (Platinum) ; Malatesta (Endless Summer) ; Kenna Rys (The Crown & The Flame) ; Teresa Martinez (Open Heart) ; Adrian Raines (Bloodbound) ; Ernest Sinclaire (Desire & Decorum) ; Quinn Kelly (Endless Summer) ; Parker Shaw (It Lives Beneath) ; Kane (The Elementalists)

I. Mom/Dad: Parker Shaw II. Your sibling: Ernest Sinclaire III. Your Grandma/Grandpa: Thomas Mendez (RIP) IV. Haunts you: Avery Wilshere (could haunt me any day 😂) V. Your boyfriend/girlfriend: Ethan Ramsey ( 😏😏 ) VI. Your ex: Jen Espinoza VII. Your best friend: Hank Hatora VIII. Proposed to you: Quinn Kelly IX. Your boss: Marc Antony (not sure whether i should be happy or sad lmao) X. The random person you met at the bar: Adrian Raines XI. Your Rival: Malatesta (yo ho ho and a bottle of rum) XII. Gave you your first kiss: Teresa Martinez XIII. Drunk and singing karaoke with: Kane (he’d be a nice singer tho) XIV. Played 7 minutes in heaven with: Fiona Sayed (oh!) XV. Gave you your favorite dessert: Kenna Rys (knew i loved her for a reason)

i tag: @perriewinklenerdie ; @usuallyamazinglyaverage ; @lilyofchoices ; @isabella-choices ; @mariaoz ; @furiouscloddonutpeanut ; @kittykatchoices ; @lady-kato

[conspiracieys-archive]

Our boi Dusan for the meme

First impression: honestly the first time i saw him in the trailers and stuff i was like ‘oh shit. i just know im gonna love that man’

Impression now: and i was right. i love Dusan Nemec he’s a trash man. he’s such a mess but i love it?? like he’s a great villain dude. hes a fantastic villain. hes a handsome ridiculous shitty villain and it’s great. i actually rly love the writing for him.

Favorite moment: i actually love his first cutscene in Motherload?? him arguing with Mary Catskill. my fave line from that is ‘Oh, I heard you Mary. The first motherfucking dozen times.’ lmao it made me laugh the 1st time i heard it

Idea for a story: i mean. im working (loosely) on the cost of conspiracy... where Marcus is Dusan’s personal assistant :/ so there’s that. i wanna write a lot of Dusan stuff but that’s the extent of my ideas.

Unpopular opinion: he’s fucking fantastic duh. like that’s my opinion and 99% of the fandom seems in disagreement for some reason?? like i LITERALLY CANNOT COMPREHEND why this fandom doesn’t like Dusan Nemec. like i genuinely don’t get it, bc everyone in the original fandom was on Damien’s dick, and imo Damien was a much worse person than Dusan could ever hope to be.

Favorite relationship: i love love love love love Dusan and Marcus’s canon relationship. like they r very clearly equals. on the same level. they can meet eyes, but they don’t see eye to eye. i love how they can go toe to toe with each other and sometimes get a leg up on the other one only for them to catch up and fuck them over. idk. i just love their relationship.

Favorite headcanon: well he’s a mess so jot that down. i dont know.... headcanons... fat asses and lean cocaine? lmao can u imagine Dusan just snorting coke off his desk and then going to fight with Marcus at !nvite sdkjfhkjds fim laughign what the fuck he totally would.