#im moving across the country to live with my sibling

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Okay crew. I have three hours to get out of my apartment and get going to my parents' house. I don't have to pack my mattress or get rid of my furniture anymore because my strong af girlfriend helped me take care of it. I just have to fit what I can into my van (not a lot) and abandon the rest. Then drive four hours. Wish me luck. I'll need it.

[nomaishuttle]

gn everybody. smiles widely

[risingscorchingsuns]

hey guys! my posting/writing/general activity is probably going to get a little slower for a bit. i’ll still be here, but im going through a tough time right now. its been a frankly pretty awful week and im getting the feeling its gonna be rough for at least a solid minute. longer explanation below if you’d like it, but tw for mentions of trauma and abuse.

So ive mentioned it before, but i have complex PTSD. my parents split when i was very young, and my stepmom moved in with my dad almost immediately afterwards. when i try and remember it too much my brain gets foggy, but to put it simply, she was horrifically abusive to me and my younger siblings. she resented us for being born, as living reminders that my mother got to my father first. for over a decade she was the sole adult influence in my life, and from the age of eleven she manipulated me to believe she was the only person in the world i could trust. she bullied me for my neurodivergence, my appearance, my interests, anything she could get to lord over me. i had no escape for most of my formative years, because she cut me off and isolated me from any form of support I could possibly have, from trying to force me to change schools to convincing me my own father gave up on me. I only cut her off permanently last year.

Summers are really, really hard for me. When she and my dad moved across the country, I had to spend summers in Texas with her, and her alone. I had nobody. In a state far away from everyone who loved me, where she had full control and access to any form of communication. She’d regularly go through my messages I sent to friends, partners, even my mother to make sure I wasn’t “making up lies about her”. I was trapped, and completely, utterly isolated. Every day was about survival, and every day was about just making it to that night, through that hour, through that minute. Every single minute I lived in anticipation of the next, walking on eggshells to appease her impossible standards. When the weather starts to get warmer, my brain starts to anticipate going back there. I shut down, and go into survival mode. I have a tendency to isolate, though it’s something I’m working on.

The weather is starting to warm up where I live. I’m starting to get nightmares again, and I wake up feeling heavy. I’m stressed out all the time, and I constantly feel either hypervigilant to the point of paralysis, or completely dissociated. I know I’m in for a rough patch until my brain realizes I dont have to go back, and settles down my trauma responses. But it may be a while before that happens. I only ask to please be patient with me for a little while. I’m really sorry.

It’s hard for me to admit I’m not doing well. I might take this down if I find myself overthinking it. I will have good days, I always do. But for now, I’m in a bit of a dark place, and I deeply apologize for the resulting change in my interactions. I love you all deeply, and I want you to know I’m safe- I have a support system, and I dont ever have to see her again. I’m in a better place than I used to be, and I’m stronger every year. But the weather is starting to warm up, and I’m starting to shut down.

Please be well. I’ll respond to things as best I can, and I’ll still be around when I’m able.

Leon 🪲

[dani-ya-dig]

THE ABIGAIL VIDEO!!! I HAVEN’T TALKED ABT MY WIFE!

Ok so like chronological order bc I have listened to the audio like a million times at this point lmao. And I WILL talk abt it bc everyone needs to be obsessed with this channel like I am it’s SO GOOD GUYS PLS I SWEAR!!! Kk

Glenwood’s magic is doing its thing, and I’m really glad that plot point keeps getting brought up. Like ofc right now most of us are definitely more focused on the romance between Abby, Wielder, and Rose (which same. Love my ladies) but also like HELLO??? Abigail, a nonwielder, was the first person to really think there was something behind how strange glenwood was! And she is actively trying to investigate it (with Wielder and maybe Rose), and now she has even more resources for that!!! Like I just love that Miss Castle is making sure we don’t forget abt this bc I think abt it all the time.

Abby knowing her mom was gonna get on her ass about buying shelves from Amazon rather than thrifting some >

Abigail apologizing every time she swears in the voicemail >>>>>

Also I wonder how far away Abby lives from her family now? She obviously misses them a whole lot regardless of how far away they are, but it makes me wonder if they are just like the next state over, or if this is an across the country situation. (Aka, Dani is desperately trying to figure out where Glenwood would be geographically so I can get more info). I think Rose mentioned something about her flying??? Unless I made that up. But if I didn’t that would mean her family is likely too far for Abby to be able to warrant driving there.

Abby telling her mom about her channel even if she doesn’t fully understand makes me wanna cry. ITS SO CUTE GUYS I SWEAR!!! imagining Abby sending pics of her streaming setup to her mom is fucking adorable and if you don’t see it idk what to tell you.

Also the audible cringe in Abby’s voice as she prepares herself for the knowledge that she would have to deal with everyone asking why she didn’t being a date to the wedding. So Harper coded lmao.

Maybe not a plus one… but a plus two???

“And they’re…. hah mom they’re really cool” IM GONNA FUCKING SCREAM!!! THE WAY HER VOICE WENT ALL SOFT IM COSBSOXSBHDKDKCJC GOD IM SO GAY HOLY SHIT

“Please don’t play this for Sammy, when he comes back home, please Ma…” makes me giggle so hard because yeah, that sums up what having older siblings is like exactly, if you slip up once they will NEVER let it go

It makes me so fucking happy to hear Abby going all soft talking about how she had made a home in Glenwood, and how she feels safe with Wielder and Rose. Especially after she has dealt with not feeling like she fits in and, no doubt, bullying for most stages of her life. I’m just really happy to see the silly little gay people talking in my headphones get to be happy.

I NEED WIELDER AND ROSE TO MEET ABBY’S FAMILY ASAP! I know that they would both just be so overwhelmed with love from Abby’s (most likely) massive family. Rose especially would be so flustered from all the attention and love, having not come from a home that gave that love freely and unconditionally. It would probably be so refreshing for her. I KNOW Abby’s mom is gonna be feeding all of them well, too!

OMG IMAGINE!! Abby’s mom doing the usual embarrassing family stuff like pulling out baby pictures, and telling embarrassing stories, and Abigail obviously red in the face but still taking it on the chin until her mom pulls out the voicemail that Abigail had sent her when she first moved to Glenwood and all of them lose their shit in very different ways. Abigail is embarrassed beyond belief, Rose is also flustered from the “going at it” bit, and Wielder can’t stop laughing hysterically.

UGH ITS A NEED! YOU DONT UNDERSTAND!!!

[yuukei-yikes]

SHOW US ALL THE OG/FANMADE KAGEPRO MERCH YOU OWN!! (please) (with cherr y)

i own exactly 1 merch.

this kano keychain. my big sibling had an exhange student year in japan in 2015, and they brought him back! and i kept him! he's my little buddy hanging out next to my desk where i draw, with miku and that squishmellow keychain half my datefriend got me

i also own the third volume of the manga, but its packed somewhere (ive moved countless times and packing and unpacking books eventually gets... tiring)

erm. anyways. i dont have any merch because....i live in argentina!! which means i cant buy stuff outside the country without a ridiculously high tax and risking losing it in the mail anyway <- which happens even with purchases inside the country lol. all u can get here is basically the manga volumes. and for fan merch, im not saying it doesnt exist here but specifically in my city's little cons ive never stumbled across it... i follow an artist on ig who made some ene and shintaro stickers once (id link them but i honestly dont remember their @), but they're from buenos aires and i dont live there so i wasnt attending that con u_u but it does exist! i just havent gotten lucky...yet...

getting a lil personal, i was in switzerland for a year and i actually came home like 4 months ago, and while there i did consider buying the novels and even merch but augh packing and weight limit for suitcases...yknow, not the best idea to buy Books. so i didnt. and for merch, i Did look for some stuff online but i gotta say. im so paranoid abt losing stuff in the mail and losing money i didnt get the balls to buy anything that wasnt from neighbour countries. i BARELY bought stuff online in my time there LOLLL

back in early 2022 my buddy red (@/fightxer here on tumblr, @/redpksp on twitter) and i collabed on these

i made the sketch and he did... erm... everything else. color+lines, ordered, shipped them. lol. these pics are also from him, bc i dont actually own this charm in real life. they were gone by the time i went to switzerland so i didnt get one 😞

sry i kinda rambled abt my personal life ofc i dont need to justify why i dont own any merch but heh i felt like it.

[hshouse]

Umm so I think we might be going into the same field but like i just started grad school a month ago and I'm struggling so fcking hard keeping up with all the work (my adhd meds are NOT doing the job i need them to be doing) and socially i have not clicked with ANYONE and I feel so intimidated and isolated and I know I stick out not talking to anyone bc EVERYONE in my section is always talking to someone and people have already started forming groups and made friends but I just dont know how to I guess??? Idk but I feel like im 8 years old again with no friends which is a bizarre fucking feeling to have at 23. But like its BAD and I can't even speak up in the classes that don't cold call and ask for volunteers even though I want to do well so badly bc I feel so fucking small amongst all these people. I just kind of completely shut down as soon as I walked into the first day of orientation and haven't recovered from that.

And like I'm so fucking scared to start working bc even though i took two years off from undergrad I'm so burnt out already and jumping straight into the corporate world seems terrifying for my mental health (and general health tbh) but like going into PI isn't really an option bc if I'm going to go through with this I NEED to be making money to make it worth it and I guess what I'm trying to ask is like does this shit actually get better??? bc I'm highkey spiraling and have been since I started school and I honestly don't know if I'd be better off dropping out and going back to teaching even though I'll be absolutely broke and living at home for the foreseeable future or if I should just stick it out and be able to afford to support my parents and fucking take my siblings to disneyland for the first time. Like i knew this was gonna be hard but I guess it's just hitting me actually being here how fucking miserable I am and just I dont know. Sorry for dumping all this on you 😬 I guess I'm just wondering if you have any advice? Like I'm so scared I'm not gonna make it, like I'm not cut out for this field and am just gonna get absolutely crushed by it. And like I know that on paper I'm fucking smart af and definitely deserve to be here, like I'm at a fucking ivy league rn, they wouldn't let me in if they didn't think I'd make it. I just am finding it very hard to believe that I'm actually going to have a successful career if I'm struggling this bad at the very start.

Also idk how tf you went to school in a completely different country, like MAJOR props to you bc that must have been SO fucking hard. I'm struggling with moving across the country to a state where I know absolutely no one, but at least I know one of my siblings is an hour flight away and the rest of my family/friends are an 8 hr flight away. You should be VERY proud of yourself (I'm sure you are) bc I've only been in grad school for a month and this shit is SO HARD to handle and like fuck you're almost done with it and about to start your career and that shit is fucking AMAZING and BADASS and I genuinely wish you all the fucking success in your future

Hi bby,

Oh we are definitely doing the same thing. Thank you for the wonderful compliments, I really really appreciate it. And congrats on getting in!

I’m sure you know that this is the hardest year. It also has NO no NOOO bearing on your talent for the job. First thing they tell you at the job orientation is “nothing you learned in grad school will be useful here.” Shdjsh it’s a completely different thing that is muuuuuch more enjoyable than the boring ass stuff you are learning rn. For me it felt very much like year 1 is one program and years 2&3 are a totally different thing. Once you get your job during summer 1, all bets are off lmao. You just need to finish the thing. So really the pressure is only for 1 year. So that helps with the mindset of like “I only need to get to May.” In terms of getting the job, I have to be honest: they only care about your school. I had straight Bs and got like a major one. On the first group of the rank if you know what I mean. So go into knowing that you WILL get an offer and most likely many. I always tell people that getting into the school is the last real hurdle. Now, you just ride the wave. Once you get the job you will really feel like it’s done.

About the job itself, there is genuinely no better job out there. Yes it is a shit show in terms of commitment and amount of work but it is absolutely disproportionally well compensated. Like in a bizarre way. You will not get fired (unless you like assault a person etc). So you have this job kind of for life? It’s extremely secure. Do not get intimidated by it. It’s mostly you alone on your computer lmao it’s lit. You are so close to this DO NOT drop out. It is worth it. The money will change your family’s life. It will change your life for ever. Even if you leave at one point.

You are the same age I was and I get the vibe. It’s annoying but *none of it matters*. I just treat it like its drivers ed lmao. I’m there to be able to do the thing. I don’t care about yall wihdishshs. Speaking in class is meaningless and getting it wrong is like whatever. Do you care when ppl get it wrong? I barely notice it. So I think shifting your mindset from “this is undergrad 2.0” to “this is a prep course I am in and out of here” really helped me. I felt very alone during year 1. But as soon as year 2 starts everyone gets shuffled around so that cliquey feeling goes away massively.

I hope this helps! Pls come back if you have more questions as you move through the stages. But I promise you, you are in the worst part of it. Hang in there!!!!!

[wordsofapanda]

I love my sister tons but having kids made her super entitled. She moved across country and she still expects everyone back in her home state to act like nothing has changed. Most of the time when people move across the country, their loved ones stop sending as much gifts because postage and it’s just out of sight/out of mind. It’s just the norm. My nephews birthday is coming up so I reached out because I wanted to get him a present. She tells me that she’s bummed mom and dad forgot her kids birthday. I know it’s not intentional but she ends up reaching out to my mom with the intention of getting stuff for her kid which doesn’t sit right with me. My mom, of course, sends her money immediately. Here’s the thing. My sister is struggling financially so I get she needs the extra help but it’s insane the level of help she consistently asks from others while she makes these huge decisions. In her own way, she’s been trying to keep up with the joneses. She chose to move across country so she could own a house for her kids which is valid but her partner has always been very unlucky with jobs and now they have a house at the expense of him having no job. Any time she wants to go somewhere, she whines to my parents and they buy her tickets. Tickets to the Philippines and tickets back here. I learned later on that she’s always been asking my mom for a lot: fridge, money, more. My mom of course never counts it and wants to provide. But my moms trying to retire. And that’s why I have such a huge problem with it. Everything is so expensive now. My sister refused to make any compromises so she could have kids, the house, the electronics, and you name it. But now she can’t keep up with it and mom won’t be able to save her forever. I used to think my sister was so independent growing up but it’s the opposite. Even when she was getting by way and made way more in her home state, she asked my mom to provide constantly. She assumes that because she has kids, everyone will continually bend over backwards for them but they moved to another state. She can’t have everything. Now I can’t talk much shit because I took time off because I went through a mental health crisis, but when I struggle and I need bills paid I never ask my parents or depend on their money like that. I’m fortunate to live under their roof and they want to take care of certain things but it’s a give and take and my sister only takes and takes. She moved out as soon as she turned 18 so I’ve been the one driving my parents if they’re tired, making sure my mom has lunch/dinner, picking up some groceries for them, running errands, making floral arrangements for them, cleaning the house and more. I put in my work and I help my parents where I can because living under their roof and not paying rent is a blessing in this economy. Im just worried my mom will be spread a bit thinner. She’s on the cusp of retiring and everyone in the family is SO used to her spoiling them that they expect it now and I can see my moms just tired. It just bothers me so much about how independent my sister acts but constantly complains when she doesn’t get presents, gets left behind because she moved, and gets upset when people don’t visit her. I love her but she has a level of entitlement and spoiled mentality that is ridiculous. Like girl you’re in your 40s and you wanted THE American dream and like all millennials right now, you can’t afford it. Ive come around to realize I may never be able to live on my own because I don’t make enough but it’s why I’m content with my situation instead of trying to reach for a fucking house. Everything is unattainable nowadays but I feel like I’m the one sibling who has accepted it.

[wifeymakesgifs]

Hello! Me again (your gift exhange partner) today I am here to ask about your muses! Do you have a favorite muse? If so, tell me about them. Do you have a muse you find yourself playing most often? Do you have a muse you wish you had gotten to use more? Did you ever make a muse and then lose all muse for them right away and have to drop them? Just tell me about your muses!

I do love your dedication to asking me the big questions!! YES I DO HAVE MUSES AND MUSE STORIES and im in such a Mood to talk about my babies with you!!!

Muses that I lost all muse for after creating them??? Bro, I think it's a very common thread with me! Like, i remember vividly in my early rp days, when I'd make a muse and then find myself unable to write replies for them because there was no mood there. And it is okay to feel that way, btw! I ended up dropping them like after a month of dragging my feet through it.

The rest of it, again, putting this under a read-more because I do NOT know how to hold myself back!

CONTENT WARNING: i do tend to write darker characters with criminal backgrounds, so you have been warned! there is also mentions of death in them.

So let me tell you about my son, Miles Ellis. He's 34, and in every iteration of him, he's been involved in some kind of criminal activity. He was abandoned as a baby, grew up in foster care and has some issues with managing his anger. He's also deadpan sarcastic and funny and sometimes, he's a little stupid. He may seem a little hard on the outside, but there's this inner child that longs to be loved and belong somewhere, anywhere and that hurt haunts him forever. His FC has always been Peter Gadiot, but I have found David Castañeda to be an amazing alternate fc for him too!

TL;DR: Miles is a stupid broken boy who keeps everyone at bay by being the toughest bitch, even though all he wants is to be loved and to belong somewhere.

My next muse is Rafael Mendoza. He's 45 and a teen dad! His own family was pretty stable, he's got an older brother who's the crowning glory, and Rafe was just there. He was 18 when him and his girlfriend became parents, and by the next year, he had a kid and no gf bc she bailed on the both of them. He had to grow up fast because he had a baby, but now that his baby is an adult, he's falling back to his old ways, trying to live out some version of his early twenties that he missed out on when he was busy being a parent. He's not the Best Dad in the whole world, but his kid is still alive and cannot complain about having a shitty childhood, so all things considered....he did good! His fc is usually either Pedro Pascal or Gael Garcia Bernal.

TL;DR: teen dad reverts to teen years the moment his kid is a legal adult.

A muse I wish I got to write more of is Kaya Peralta-Molina. She's an ER nurse, and her life could be divided into two; before she met her husband, and after losing her husband. The girl before used to be an optimist. She was adopted into a family with so much love and warmth, and her other siblings might not have been blood, but she would die for them regardless. It is her adopted brother who helped her realise that she really wanted to be a nurse and help people out. And then she moved for a job, across the country, and fell in love with a man who would be connected to some MC and it would be a whole thing. But Kaya is loyal, and if loving him meant accepting his chosen family, so be it. But then, he died not too long after, and Kaya's world basically shattered into pieces. She's much more cynical now, bitter about the way things are and is very guarded with her heart and her emotions. Her FC is and will always be Jessica Henwick.

A muse I find myself playing most often would have to be some version of Crystalia Ruiz. She started off as a skeleton on a Tumblr rp in 2015, I think? And she kind of evolved into my own favourite little maniac. She is a misunderstood loner who often took solace in her loneliness. Growing up in a big house full of raucous individuals, Crys often felt like she lost her own voice in the crowds. She's a goth girl, very good at being silent and creepy and weird, and she's not that good of a friend. She will sell you for a corn chip and only because she was in the mood for one. Her fc was Katie Findlay, but I use Alexa Demie for her now.

[somerabbitholes]

hii i want to start reading books thats less based on fandom and relatable characters etcetc and work more as pieces of fiction that aims to tell a story (tell me if im not making sense please), so do you have any recs for that (preferably not a classic with 80 word sentences)

(tell me if what i said doesnt make any sense please I'll try to rephrase it 😭)

hi yes that makes absolute sense, so here is fiction that is about the story, that works on the literary level, and that i love for the writing ─

drive your plow over the bones of the dead by olga tokarczuk — about an old polish woman who spends her time translating william blake and making people’s horoscopes; through her it’s about how we think about nature and animals; also comes with a whodunnit

the waves by virginia woolf — follows six friends through their youth and adulthood; written as monologues from each of their perspectives; really made me feel things and woolf is great at writing so i don’t need to sell that

conversations with friends by sally rooney — so hear me out, because the plot by itself is quite ordinary, but the writing is beautiful and the love i have for this novel comes from the writing which is so full of detail and so great at setting mood; i also really loved normal people and beautiful world, where are you but this one is still a favourite

a man called ove by fredrik backman — about a grumpy old man who has a very tight daily schedule and a very strong set of principles; his life after new neighbours move in across the street and basically upend his life; very wholesome

the hungry tide by amitav ghosh — about a biologist who goes to the sunderbans for research; covers human-animal conflict in the delta; also about the environment and how it offsets life in the delta’s villages

a fine balance by rohinton mistry — set in bombay during the 1975 emergency; about four people who are brought together by the political and social upheavals in the country; very finely written

dark satellites by clemens meyer —  a collection of stories revolving around marginal people set in germany; explores isolation, loneliness, and relationships formed in these conditions of isolation

the lowland by jhumpa lahiri — about two brothers, one of whom is drawn to the naxalite movement, while the other goes on to study and live in the usa; how their lives intertwine through the years

the people in the trees by hanya yanagihara — about this immunologist who discovers a micronesian tribe that is apparently immortal; also about ecological imperialism and the violence of the encounter between the west (in this case) and ‘primitive’ people; very impressive in its depth

broken harbor by tana french — part of the dublin murder squad series; this one is my favourite but you should definitely also read the rest; it’s about a detective investigating a triple murder in a family of four where the father and the two children have been killed and the mother is in a coma; also has a subplot about the detective himself; some great parallels and foreshadowing; ties together all the threads very satisfyingly

i'm going to add a little life here because i think it's an extremely fine work and probably the best novel i've read so far, but you should absolutely check the trigger warnings and the content warnings should you decide to pick it up ─ although the novel is a lot more than its TWs and i would hate for it to be reduced to only these warnings or to absolutely useless analysis like 'too long' or 'misery porn'

the immortalists by chloe benjamin — about four siblings who discover the precise dates of their deaths; takes a look at all their lives one by one; explores fate and destiny and free will; it’s a great quick read

the licanius trilogy by james islington — set twentyish years after a war that wiped out augurs, it follows davian, who is an augur, as he tries to come to terms with his power; begins as a classic chosen one story, but definitely more than that; time travel; very well-thought out and executed plotlines

the lives of others by neel mukherjee — about a family in kolkata that’s coming to terms with changing times in a post-independence india; great if you like generational novels about large families

i hope you find something you like!

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Can someone come sit on my bed while I clean my room pls? Thanks and I love you <3

[lantsovsupremacist]

nikolai lantsov: august

@wafflesandschemingfaces requested a piece inspired by august, and i am more than happy to push the august agenda. THIS TOOK WAY TOO LONG IM SO SORRY!!! i hope it’s okay that i worked this in as a part two of “mirrorball.”

happy AUGUST babes! this was originally going to end angsty but i was feeling generous so enjoy the happier ending :)))

he tasted like salt, which had been a rarity at home. with the prices spiking in the cities, the smaller markets in the countryside could not supply even the simplest spice. having reignited the placated desire, you were greedy for more of him.

over the last seven months, you took advantage of nearly every opportunity the volkvony offered. you strengthened your abilities at sea with the careful instruction of the two other tidemakers onboard. tamar’s twin brother, toyla, guided your interest in grisha literature and history.

certain adjustments proved more difficult than others. you were no stranger to early work or rising in a shared room. however, despite the bright flush from the use of your powers, your muscles ached under the strain of the new practice. you found your training to be an unfamiliar yet cherished consistency.

you struggled with feelings of inferiority at first. the other female tidemaker, yelena, was a stowaway from the little palace. disregarding her heavy contempt for the school there, her experience helped you immensely.

peter was also a comfort in his own way. another self-taught grisha himself, it only pained you to hear of his family’s acceptance and attempts to teach him. your family might not have thrown you to the fjerdans but they offered little to help you control the power.

time could not move backwards to prevent your wounds but it could move forward to heal them.

now, perched on the deck beside yelena, you were calmer and more confident than ever before. you watched sturmhond out of the corner of you eye, turning your head in the wind to guide a piece of hair back out of your face. his white shirt billowed in the wind, sleeves rolled up and hands in the air to help dictate one of his famous stories.

“you look at him as if he hung the stars in the sky himself,” yelena snorted, elegantly drawing up a rather powerful wave to hasten your journey south, “trust me, he’ll take the hint and never let it go.”

but for you, perhaps he had. a new constellation, at least. three stars shined brighter than before for you, now visible to the naked eye. freedom, purpose, and opportunity. his gracious offer extended to beyond the imaginable.

“i could never have dreamed of this,” you replied earnestly, lightly bumping into her hip with your own.

“kerch does not have blondes, no?” she teased, exaggerating her already thick ravkan accent.

you blushed, nonetheless, “you’re going to get us off task, yelena.”

she rolled her eyes, returning her attention to the sea with a grunt. you did not miss the small smile that barely touched her face after, however. you would have missed it if she had not adjusted your arm, lifting it higher to create a higher crest.

in truth, you did not mind. you enjoyed observing. from your station at one side of the hull, you had a suitable view of the surrounding activity on the deck. storytelling only happened to be one of the aforementioned pursuits by the crew.

—

the first time was an accident. you nearly ran into him one morning during your second week onboard. the sun had filtered through the cracks in your room, beckoning your rise. you chased the sunbeams up the staircase adjacent to the door and soaked in the warmth they graciously provided.

the sunrise was magnificent. too distracted by the beauty painted in front of you in the sky, your elbow caught the captain’s. your eyes immediately went wide, an apology poised on your tongue. growing up with seven siblings, you were accustomed to making yourself smaller to allot room for the others. what other habits would you lose during your time aboard the volkvony?

“that’s quite alright,” sturmhond replied, eyes twinkling at the pale pink flush of your cheeks, “i suppose the sunrise caught my attention, as well,” he turned his head back, “though, that might not be all that did.”

as the tempo of your heart approached a crescendo, you nodded with a nervous smile. your eldest sister’s experiences with boys were all you had to go off of. your parents were together, yes, but as you aged, you realized that the nature of their union simply secured stability for the both of them. love had been an after thought and a forgotten one at that.

“want to watch it with me?” his eyes were brighter than the sun, more vibrant than the various hues splattered across the sky.

sounding just as much of a child as did he, you responded, “i would love to.”

he waited for no counter, immediately taking your hand in his to nearly drag you up the stairs. his hand was surprisingly warm despite the slight chill in the morning air. your brain fought the feeling of his touch at first, recognizing the pressure of his fingers now intertwined with yours but refusing to reciprocate the gesture.

by the time the sun reached a pinnacle in the sky, shining it seemed for just the two of you, you had given him your hand and your heart.

you let him memorize your story, pausing when he could not remember the order of your siblings. you repeated it until he could. the mornings were filled with whispers and soft touches. you thought he was helping you write a new story—one where maybe, you could have your perspective at the forefront.

—

the pressure of his his knee shamelessly pressing into yours dominated your thoughts. you decided that it would be more disconcerting to slide away from him but each passing moment added fuel to the fire of his warmth. you did not know what to think about the way he made you feel.

“i’m not who you think i am,” the privateer spoke, deadly calm. his tone did not waver, nor did the contact his eyes maintained with the horizon.

you wanted to tease the boy beside you but one look at the frown overtaking his face gave you pause. you felt increasingly uncomfortable, which you never did with him, not even when he first introduced himself. it was all wrong.

“i’m not sure what you mean,” you whispered hesitantly, trailing your fingers in the dust of the deck before they grew too numb to control.

his jaw clenched. his eyes bore into the sea. you only heard the sound of his breath—strangled and uneven.

“sturmhond,” you tried, watching as the wind ruffled his tawny and unkept hair.

“no,” he strained, “nikolai.”

an unusual name but a beautiful name, you decided.

“i-i don’t understand,” you fought to get the words out—battling with breaths instead of bombs, syllables instead of swords.

you wanted to push it all aside for naive hope, content with your pocket of fool’s gold.

“do you remember when we sailed to the outskirts of ravka?” he questioned you, gaining control of the previous shake in his voice.

you hummed in reply, trying to put together the pieces of his puzzle before he realized you had not finished yet.

the blonde looked like he was in pain when he next spoke, “the prince,” he began with his eyes timidly locked on your own, “his name is nikolai.”

contrary to your lack of education, you were clever and thus, able to fill in the blanks for yourself.

“who else knows?” you might have hoped for something more but you were not innocent enough to believe the prince only shared his identity with the girl who had succumbed to his longing stares.

“the twins,” he began with a sigh too heavy for him to carry alone, “yelena. one or two others.”

yelena knew. for some reason, your stomach turned at that. you knew it was misplaced and unnecessary jealously but there it sat all the same, weighing you down like an unmovable stone. a similar pressure pulsed behind your eyes, forcing a collection of tears to your waterline.

he offered an apology with words, but it was his eyes that held the true sincerity, the way his fingers restlessly knotted in his lap, and that even though it was a fight, he had moved aside to give you space. you wanted to believe that everything would be okay despite the change, that it could be, at least.

your heart ached. you never wanted him further away from you. or closer. his body was too familiar now.

nikolai never belonged to you, not really. and even if ravka would inevitably melt his golden heart and carelessly mold it to their benefit, he belonged to the broken country. not to you. never to you—alone.

with that, of course, you could not belong to him, either. a farmer’s daughter who did not complete her primary studies. maybe you did have a claim to grisha power, but you knew enough about ravka to understand that you would be a soldier. you already felt like one, fighting an endless battle between your head and heart. diligence and desire.

“you let me—,” you swallowed thickly, “give myself to you. you made it so easy to be sure.” now, you were no longer as certain in your decisions.

he kicked his feet in the water, unable to carry your gaze lest he lose it much like your heart, “i hoped it could be different.”

you searched for anything to ground yourself in along the horizon, burning your eyes in the sinking sun, “you’ll have to go back, then.”

he nodded, his head bobbing more fitfully than the waves, “yes.”

your did not want to talk any longer because if you did, you were sure that you would cry. you decided that you had, in fact, been foolish. how could you live off of hope alone? your destiny belonged to the fields not the sea.

“okay.”

“okay?” nikolai repeated, voice dancing between disbelief and what might have been anger, unable to remember the next step, “that’s all that’s left?”

“i think so,” you replied airily, turning to brush a lock of his hair behind his ear, “because i understand. i might not want to. well, i certainly don’t want to but—,”

you were cut off and for the blonde boy beside you to do it, you knew he had good reason. he gave you a voice simply by listening, something few had done for you before. your words had been stolen by his lips in the end.

“i might not be able to give you nikolai,” his lips were down turned but now flushed with color, “but i can give you sturmhond. i can give you nik,” he brought your hand to his heart, “that is if you’ll have me?”

you did not belong to prince nikolai of ravka. he could not be a character in your story. but, you could write another chapter. you could change the plot for the better.

you kissed him with as much fervor as he had earlier. he twisted his fingers into your hair, winding a passage to the back of your neck. you curled into the warmth radiating from his side, fisting his shirt before slowly pulling away.

“i can’t believe you’re a prince.”

that earned you a laugh. the laugh you knew you could never live with losing. if you could not have him entirely, you would hold onto anything that could be yours. just yours. for now, the heat of the sun on your faces split wide with grins was enough.

grishaverse taglist: @just-a-human-witha-pen @ilovemarvelanne1 @story-scribbler @subjecta13-thefangirl

[blxetsi]

I was curious if you’d be up for headcanon of adopting Gabi Braun, or what it’s like being her older sibling?

If not maybe just Pieck relationship headcanons

Please and thank you

im so sorry im getting to this so late 😭🤚 ty for requesting ‼️

‼️CONTENT WARNING: SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4 AND CHAPTER 139‼️

adopting gabi braun headcanons (canonverse)

characters: gf!sasha braus x gn!reader, platonic!gabi braun x gn!reader, fatherly!levi ackerman x gn!reader, platonic!falco grice x gn!reader

warnings: death, angst, hatred for kids (fuck them kids‼️), peepaw levi 😁👍

- uhhhhhh,, your relationship w gabi had a very rocky start. Lol !

- it all started when your friend eren jaeger decided to run away to infiltrate marley causing the survey corps to go get him just as a war was declared between your countries, and then two kids snuck onto the airship you were using to escape and shot your girlfriend. and she died. Lol !

- you had a lot of hatred for gabi in the beginning, and it was understandable

- you blamed her for shooting sasha, but you also blamed yourself for not being able to save her.

- you were a trained medic, you were supposed to save people, and yet you couldnt even save the woman you loved. it was like a slap in the face, like god was playing some cruel joke on you

- you remember sitting against the wall with sasha's blood staining your hands. you could barely process what happened at the time, and then levi came

- he sat next to you, taking a handkerchief out of nowhere seemingly, and just wordlessly wiped your hands down.

- your relationship with the older man was never defined, even today, but you both cared for each other

- the next time you saw gabi, was in that restaurant, niccolo had attacked gabi and falco, injuring them both, and said she killed sasha

- your blood went cold, you felt so many things, the grief you had pushed down in favour of your job, anger, fear, among other things

- niccolo had said there needed to be justice, he said that gabi should die for what she did, he tried to get sasha's father to kill her, and all you did was stand there.

- your body went on autopilot, barely listening to mr. braus' speech, you watched as kaya pointed a knife at gabi, and you listened to her wails of agony as you blindly led mikasa, armin, and gabi to a different room

- you were scared of yourself, for what you were thinking. did you really want a kid to die ? she did kill your girlfriend, the woman you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, the woman that shared her food with you, the woman that held you when you got scared at night, the woman that promised you that after the war you two would live on a farm together, and have a family of your own.

- but she was still a child. she didnt know any better. you were conflicted in your feelings, especially after hearing what niccolo had said, but it all just emphasized what was already known to you. she was a child

- your blood was pounding in your ears, and you could faintly hear gabi asking your comrades if they wanted to kill her. when armin reassured her they didnt, she looked to you and asked "what about them ?"

- you didnt answer her, and continued to lead them down where eren would be meeting you all. you were supposed to drop them off, but eren made you stay, and then a fight broke out

- you dont remember when you did it, but you held gabi in your arms, shielding her from the fight. you think you needed to be held more than she did

- things got more complicated after that, and slowly the hatred you had for sasha's killer went away, until all you had left was a hole in your chest from guilt and sadness.

- at fort salta, you thought you were going to die there, next to your friends. you thought you'd become a mindless titan, like connie's family

- but you didnt, well you did, but only for a short time, and when you turned back, you reunited with your friends

- looking around for gabi, you saw her tackle falco into a hug, which made you smile

- "y/n !" jean called, you remember looking behind you in confusion, he sounded distressed, but you understood why when you saw sasha saluting the three of you

- you felt your legs move on your own, and you ran closer to her, before stopping about a meter away. she was dead, you knew she was dead, but she was there, wearing that goofy smile on her face and looking at you as if you'd hung the stars in the sky

- she looked at you. "you did good." hearing her voice felt like a dream. your mouth felt dry, and your jaw opened and closed like a fish before you felt tears sting your eyes. "i love you."

- she nodded, before looking at the sky. "i know." she replied. sasha looked back at you before giving you a soft smile. "you know what to do now." before she disappeared in the debris

- you knew what to do, so you did it

- you found levi sitting against a rock, and when you leaned down next to him he muttered something. "i saw erwin again. and hange. all of them." you nodded. "i saw sasha." he looked at you, and gave you the closest thing to a smile. "i guess we're both at peace now."

*****

- three years later, you've become a school teacher in paradis, teaching young children how to read, to write, and basic math. you teach them about art and music, and nature. its nice being surrounded by children all day, kids are lovely.

- you live with gabi, falco and levi, in a small house inside wall sina. levi's legs have gotten weaker with time, causing him to use a wheelchair and crutches. he's given up on his dream of a tea shop, but is content with the life he has now.

- gabi and falco have gotten more rowdy with age, but they've both matured quite a bit. they make you proud

- you send letters to sasha's family. kaya is growing up, and has taken over archery just like her sister. niccolo is living with them now.

- you'll never be able to let go of sasha, or what happened to her, but the pain in your chest has dulled immensely. you think about her sometimes, when youre in bed alone, wanting to feel the warmth of her body in your arms, you know you should move on, you get teased about not having a new girlfriend, even levi has made comments about there being "plenty of fish in the sea"

it was a late night, on a friday. you were grading spelling tests at the dining room table, one lone candle being your source of light. your pen moves swiftly across the different pieces of paper, adding check marks or x marks when needed, adding a note at the bottom of each test, before adding a smiley face on all of your students' hard work. it was tedious, but it needed to be done, and you had to remember to bring them in on monday, you couldn't forget like last time.

you heard footsteps coming down the stairs. they were soft, and slow, and at first you thought it was levi but realized it couldn't be since you couldn't hear the soft tapping of his crutches on the stairs. they came down to the bottom and stood there, it was gabi, dressed in a light pink nightgown that came down to her knees, and her disheveled hair in the braid you did for her before bed.

you pushed your reading glasses to the top of your head. "what are you doing up ? it's late."

she shrugged, and walked over to sit across from you at the table. gabi grabbed the stack of papers that you already graded and shuffled through them, giggling when she found a misspelling.

you rolled her eyes. "don't laugh, they're six."

she shook her head. "i was spelling ten times better than this when i was their age."

"uh huh."

"are you calling my bluff ?"

you chuckled. "maybe. you should be in bed though."

"why ? it's not like we have school tomorrow."

you shrugged. "i was thinking we could go on a picnic outside the walls. it gets stuffy in here."

she nodded. "that would be fun."

the silence came back for a while, until you finished grading and set your papers aside.

"you know, i hear you sometimes." she whispered.

you looked at the brunette in confusion. "how do you mean ?"

"when your in bed, sometimes you cry."

you scoffed, and leaned back in your chair. "yeah well, i try to muffle it."

"i don't think ive ever apologized to you," she started. her eyes welled up with tears and her hands shook on the table. her cheeks and nose became pink as she held herself back from crying. "i know i feel bad, and i regret killing her but, i've never actually apologized to you for-"

"don't." you said. you kept your eyes on your lap, you felt your throat growing tight. "please gabi, don't say anything."

"i need to apologize-"

"you don't. you killed her. she's dead, the war is over. it's done. just let it go." you said, your voice wavering.

"have you let it go ?"

your head shot up to her. "i lost the woman i was going to spend the rest of my life with. she promised me a safe home, a farm, and a family. and she promised we'd grow old together. and that didn't happen. i grew up with her, i've known her since i was twelve, we started dating when i was sixteen. of course i haven't let it go, gabi."

gabi looked shocked by your outburst, but nodded. she understood how you felt, and she felt so guilty. "you don't forgive me do you ? i get it, i really do. i'm sorry."

you shook your head. "gabi no, i do. i do forgive you. i just, i can't forget it." you whimpered, tears started streaming down your face and you choked back a sob. "i loved her with all of my heart, i still do, but i don't hate you-"

gabi rolled her eyes, tears coming out uncontrollably now. "you should. i killed her, i ruined your chance of a happy life ! she was your family and i-"

"gabi no !" you exclaimed, cutting her off. at this point you both looked like a mess, and you were worried you woke up the boys. you grabbed her shaking hands in your own and held them to you. "you are my family. you are. so is falco, and so is levi. i forgive you, and i love you with all of my heart." you said, a sad smile on your face. her eyes widened at your words, before she started sobbing.

you got up from the table to come to her side, and held her in your arms as she cried. her arms wrapped around your shoulders while she dug her head into your neck, tickling you with her hair.

you rubbed her back and cradled her head while shushing her. she sobbed out a muffled "i love you so much y/n." that you chuckled at.

"i love you too so much." you whispered back.

it took a long time for gabi to calm down, but when she did you still held her, rocking her and yourself back and forth slightly. you two moved from the chairs down to the floor, funny enough.

you kissed the top of her head before talking, the only noise in the room being your whispers, her sniffles and the living room clock. "you know reiner's coming home soon. are you excited ?" she nodded against your skin and sniffled again, clearing her throat too.

"i hope he brings me a gift or something." she whispered back, her voice hoarse. it made you laugh, and you had to cover your mouth to keep quiet.

"they're going to shiganshina district for a couple of days, to visit mikasa and eren, and then mikasa will come with them to the capital."

"do you miss her ?" she asked.

"so much. i miss all of them, but mikasa is a close friend of mine, she holds a special place in my heart."

"do you think you and levi will go to the meetings between the marley ambassadors and the jaegerists ?" she asked.

"maybe, if they feel as though they really need us."

you sighed through your nose, which was a bit stuffy from crying. "after we turned back into humans, i saw sasha again."

gabi lifted her head up from where it was resting on your shoulder. "what ?"

"yeah, i saw her ghost i think." you looked down on her with a smile on your face. "she told me i knew what i needed to do, and then i went and got levi and you and falco." you paused for a moment, thinking about how you would word what you were thinking. "i did what i needed to do, i got my family together." gabi's eyes widened. "sasha promised me a family, and although this wasn't the family i had envisioned, it's still a family nonetheless. i believe her last gift to me was you, falco, and levi. and i am so grateful to have you all in my life."

gabi smiled before hugging you. she opened her mouth to say something-

"oi !" a deep voice came from the top of the stairs. "you two woke me up with all of your crying. go to bed." before your heard the creaking of the floorboards and the closing of a door.

you chuckled before standing up, pulling gabi with you. you walked her to her room, and even tucked her in, you both exchanged 'i love yous' and 'goodnights' before you retreated from her bedroom, closing the door behind you.

across the hall, levi stood leaned on his doorway with his arms crossed together. "that family speech, that was cute." he commented. you rolled your eyes at the older man. "were you listening in on a private conversation ?" you teased.

the ex-captain scoffed and looked away. "go to bed y/n. we have a picnic to go on tomorrow." before closing his door.

you chuckled to yourself, remembering how you brought up the idea to him that morning, and he only replied with a curt "we'll see" before sipping on his morning tea.

you went back to your own room, and got into your bed. you turned on your side, and looked at the space you always left open for sasha, and brushed your hand against the pillow.

"goodnight love."

uhhhhh doesnt feel like my best work but whatevs 😁👍 enjoy my comeback to tumblr 🤩🙏

requests open mfs ‼️

[boyczar]

[marichat-verse]

Mist Memories

Leo Valdez x reader for his birthday ahhhh (even though it's angsty) with a platonic/developing jason x reader cameo at the end (lmao im sorry i couldn't help myself 😭)

Based on this picture I found in pinterest + also [kinda] based on traitor by olivia rodrigo and omg i really recommend u guys listen to this edit because it reminds me so much of this fic that's been stuck in my head for MONTHS also kind of a run away with me prologue lol

Your POV

I nervously made my way across the forest until I reached a limestone cliff. I knocked on the iron door, not really expecting to get an answer.

My boyfriend has been shutting himself in Bunker 9 for the past few weeks. I stood there counting up to seven before knocking again. I knocked again two more times, until he answered in the middle of my last knock.

He removed his goggles and winced as sunlight hit his eyes. He'd grown thinner and paler, making the dark circles in his eyes more pronounced.

"Oh, Leo..." I reached out to brush a few strands of hair away from his face, but he moved away.

"What are you doing here?" He said in a monotone voice.

I moved to walk inside the Bunker, brushing off his hesitation to let me in. "I'm your partner, remember? And I'm really concerned because you're shutting yourself out lately. You know everyone's starting to worry about you. Percy asked me to check on you because you missed pegasus riding with him. Oh, and I'm pretty sure Jason's coming back from Camp Jupiter soon. I was hoping you and Annabeth could be with Piper while Percy and I hung out with Jason because it's been a little awkward since their breakup. Plus Piper wanted to tell you something—"

"Please," he said forcefully causing me to stop and look at him. "Just... Get out."

Normally, he'd shut himself from the world for a few days to work on an important project or because he was feeling really sad and he needed space. But this was getting out of hand. He had never locked me out of his life when I offered to help him. He was never this mean when he asked for space. I was not having this attitude of his.

"Okay, Leo. I tried to play nice. What is so important that you blow off all your friends for nearly a month that you can't even tell your partner, or maybe say hi to your best friend who's coming back from the other side of the country?"

He didn't say anything. He pursed his lips and avoided eye contact. I scanned he room for any signs.

It was messier than usual with all the crumpled paper scattered on the floor, especially on his desk. He could have been drawing up new plans. Something in my gut told me that something wasn't right. There were no new unfinished projects, indicating that he wasn't starting a new invention. Harley's helicopter lay on his bench in the same state it was weeks ago. Huh, not even his siblings could enter the Bunker.

I turned and Leo was already changing Festus' oil. I took this moment of distraction to pick up a few pieces of crumpled paper on the floor and on his desk. I had to process the words a bit longer—too long that Leo took notice. Damn dyslexia.

I heard footsteps speed up behind me, but it was too late. I read enough and got the gist of what he had been trying to do these past few weeks.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He yelled at me. Small embers started to erupt between his curls.

I laughed dryly. "So this is what you've been up to?"

His fists tightened, further crumpling the paper in his hands. His eyes flashed with anger, despair and confusion.

I sighed and focused my eyes on his desk, not daring to look at him any longer. Under some pieces of paper were old photographs of him and Piper from Wilderness School. Yup, those definitely were the mist memories she had with Jason. I read the latest draft he'd been writing:

Dear Piper,

Remember the mist memories from boarding school with Jason? They were real, but they were with me.

I miss you. I miss when it was just us. I miss the night on the roof.

Yours truly,

Leo Valdez

I tried to keep my voice from cracking. "How long?"

I heard him sigh. "Three weeks."

I balled my fists. Tears started to fall and smudge the ink. I wiped them away as fast as they came.

"How?"

"In a dream," his tone softened now. "Hera came to me in a dream and told me to check an old drawer in Bunker 9. I found the photos and the memories came rushing back."

"How long were you dating back then?"

"Two weeks."

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

Silence; then a deep breath.

"No."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Why?"

"Because I knew you'd get upset like—"

"I meant why would you throw away months of our relationship for a couple of weeks of your relationship with her? And without even bothering to tell me? Gods damn it, Leo. We've been together since you've first arrived at camp. And what about those promises you made when we were sailing to Greece? You've been keeping these feelings away from me and you've been lying to me, making me believe that there's still something between us and—"

"Oh, calm down," he said with an annoyed expression and tone, which only infuriated me more, "it's not like I did anything were her yet! I didn't kiss her or tell her how I truly felt for her! She just got out of a relationship with Jason around the same time I had that dream. I had to figure out how to talk to her about it. I've been alone in this Bunker for three. Fucking. Weeks. I didn't cheat on you."

"Oh, and that makes everything better?" I countered. "Being in a relationship isn't about not cheating, Leo. It's about being honest and communicating with each other."

"Oh, like you've been communicating with me? After the war, you take go back to Manhattan for school, and you take a job. I haven't seen you much during the holidays because work has been keeping you in the city. And you won't tell me what you even do for a living!"

I took in a deep breath. "I told you I needed to have a life outside of camp! I needed to know first that I could handle myself in the mortal world as a normal human being. I needed this demigod part of my life to be separate as much as possible! I've been in two wars, Leo. I needed time to myself, too. And I was about to tell you guys in a few more days. But I guess now, I'm glad I've kept you out of that part of my life. At least I have an escape from all of this. And now, especially from you."

I took another deep breath and walked to the door, about to let myself out. I turned back again, both our tear-stained eyes meeting each other.

"If it makes you feel any better," I said softly, "I would've hated the idea of us breaking up. But if you really love her, if you really feel like you have this special connection to her and she makes you happy, then I won't get in your way. You could at least have had the decency to talk to me so we could have left on a good note."

He looked at me with wide eyes, clearly regretting his actions. I sighed and looked around the Bunker, possibly for the last time. Lots of memories were definitely created in this room; all just as grand and meaningful as the inventions they made here. But just like some of Hephaestus' contraptions, some of them were flawed and dumped in his scrapyard, no matter how much potential it could have had.

"Goodbye, Leo."

I sat on a rock on the beach that gave me a beautiful view of Long Island Sound. To my left, the sun started to set, casting an orange filter on everything. My heart broke, remembering how everything glowed orange in the Bunker. Leo always left the fires burning when he was working. The sunlight twinkling against the sea reminded me of how small bits of flame peaked through his hair earlier. I remembered how mad he was at me. Or maybe he was mostly mad at himself.

"Hey."

I jumped when someone sat—or rather, landed—beside me. I turned and smiled, seeing one of my good friends back at camp.

"Hey, you're back," I said weakly. "How long have you been here?"

He smiled at me, although he could maybe sense that something was wrong. "Half an hour, maybe? I saw Annabeth making plans to expand camp to have a city. She made me do an aerial inspection and I told her I'll get back to her tonight. That's when I saw you."

"Mhmm," I mumbled, not really knowing what to say. It was silent for a few minutes before I spoke up again, knowing he was just waiting for me to open up.

"I broke up with Leo."

His head quickly turned to me. I guess he wasn't expecting it to be that bad. "What?"

"Oh yeah," I laughed dryly. "Turns out the mist memories Piper had in Wilderness School with you? They were real. But not with you."

His eyes widened. "Oh... With Leo."

"He locked himself in the Bunker for weeks trying to write a letter. It was heartbreaking. Like, truly heartbreaking. He wanted to tell her how much he missed her and how much he missed them. Then he said how much he missed that night with her under the stars and... It hurt. Like hell."

"Oh," he said. "I guess Piper didn't tell me everything then."

"She knew all along?"

He shook his head. "Maybe not everything, but she told me she's been confused about her feelings lately and she'd been having visions or dreams of possible old memories that were messing with her head."

"I'm sorry about you and Piper," I said.

"Don't be," he said. "I understand her. It did hurt, though. But I think I can get over it some day. We're still awkward around each other, but at least we left on a good note."

I scoffed. "Leo couldn't even give me a good ending to our relationship."

"Hey," he said as he put a hand on my shoulder. "You're a great person, y/n. You've done so much, especially for him. It's his loss that he was stupid enough to let go of you."

"I know that."

"Do you really?"

"I do!" I said. "I'm a great person and I know that. But that doesn't mean what he did doesn't hurt me."

"I know," he said. "You'll find someone who'll treat you like the queen that you are. You're a great person, and I'm not just saying this to cheer you up. I truly think you're amazing."

I smiled at him. "Thanks, Jason. And you'll find someone great, too. Maybe not as great as me but, then again, who is?"

We both let out a laugh. The conch sounded in the distance, signaling dinner. I moved to stand up before hearing Jason speak up again.

"Hey, do you maybe want to just grab a couple of plates and eat out here?"

I smiled. "Yeah. That sounds good. I don't really want everyone else hounding me about the breakup right now."

I don't know how long it was going to take me to get over Leo. We really did gave something special. It was cruel how the universe gave me something so good, to make me have hope that something was finally going right, then have it yanked away from my arms just as suddenly as it came.

He never cheated on me, but that didn't mean he didn't betray every promise we made to each other. I should have known it was too good to be true. Life has always played cruel jokes on me.

Then again, who's to say that things won't turn out for the better, right?

•••

Tagging: @drvrslcense @bubblybubbubs @dreamerball @quteez @aesthetxcimagines @chasingpj @beingleft @wadewilsonsgreatestfriend

[iwavibes]

bokuto meeting hinata's older sister

this has been in my mind for days so here we go // note: reader's hair is orange here like hinata's just to exemplify the resemblance :D

bokuto was never one for romance

if you asked any of his close friends (aka the fukurodani vbc) they'll tell you how hopelessly oblivious this beefy boi is

of course, there had been countless girls AND boys that have confessed to the captain

but everyone thinks that the poor boy didn't thought they like him that way

and now a bunch of people are considered as bokuto's best friends :D

so it was a very huge surprise for everyone in the vbc when they found out that bokuto had a crush on someone

they didn't even know he could distinguish his feelings that fast 😩

but the moment bokuto saw you,, time seemed to have stopped and he had kuroo to close his mouth after blatantly gawking at you from across the gym

you were a first year college student at tokyo university and living away from home was harder on you than you thought

you missed your family greatly especially your two younger siblings who were literally the sunshines of your life

you were pouting as you listened to your teacher drawl on and on about the fundamentals of human inquiry

you pretty much muted the whole class out until you suddenly received a text

the moment you saw the contact name, a huge smile replaced your gloomy face

shoyo ☀️: oneechann!! me and my volleyball team are heading to tokyo again next week to train 😁 if you don't have much work to do pls come watch us!!! it's been a while since i last saw you and the last time i was there you were busy with school :(( i miss youuuuu

and honestly how could you say no to that??

so while your teacher wasn't looking, you quickly type out a reply saying how you'll be there

not even a second later, a flurry of excited texts flooded your phone

shoyo just spammed you with dozens of emojis and heart memes

you agreed to see him on the last day of his training camp since you still had work to do

when the day came, you really couldn't stop smiling excitedly at thought of seeing your little brother

and his team of course

he had sent you dozens of texts about them and how much fun he's having

meanwhile

in shinzen high gymnasium, bokuto is in tip top shape as he spikes balls left and right, scoring more and more for his team

"HEY HEY HEY!!!!"

he was patting on akaashi's back, gushing about how clean his straights have been and also how sharp his cross was

however, the ace fell silent when he heard the door of the gym suddenly open and your figure shyly walking in, your orange hair framing your face delicately

he watched you look around anxiously and was about to approach you until he saw hinata suddenly tackle you in a hug

"oneechan you came!!"

the small middle blocker's voice rang through the ace's ears as you smiled

and bokuto could instantly feel himself getting struck with something

his jaw fell to the floor at the sight of you and his mind was filled with thoughts of your very pretty face

how he wanted to tuck the stray strands of your hair behind your ear, how beautiful your eyes look especially with how they turn into cute crescents when you smile, and also how he wanted to hear you laugh more after hearing it for the first time

he had fallen for you and he had fallen hard

he snapped out of his thoughts when he felt someone lift his chin to close his gaping mouth

"you're too obvious bro"

kuroo remarked with a smirk

bokuto glared at him in annoyance which made the other laugh out loud

the sound caught your attention which caused you to meet his owl-like eyes

it was only for a second but that's all it took for bokuto to be totally smitten by you

the next match was the last match of the day which was coincidentally fukurodani vs karasuno

bokuto, couldn't help but show off when he felt your eyes on him

of course that didn't last long when karasuno began to score continuously and his spikes continued to get shutdown

he fell into his emo mood rather quickly, especially at the thought of how uncool he must've looked in front of you

he managed to regain himself in the final moments of the match and delivered a very powerful spike which resulted in their win

once he landed from his jump, he quickly turned to look at you and couldn't help but smirk proudly at your awed expression

after the set, hinata quickly pulled you to the captain aka his newfound mentor

you couldn't help but chuckle at his excited expression as he introduced you to bokuto, who was surprisingly very quiet compared to how loud and energetic he was during the match

you listened as shoyo gushed about his friend and hyping him up along the way;; saying how bokuto-san is one of the top five aces in the country and how amazing his spikes and moves were

"oneechan did you see the feint i did??"

"i did, you surprised me a lot with that, sho. im proud of you."

hinata beamed at that before pointing at bokuto

"bokuto-san taught me how to do that!"

bokuto seemed to freeze at that

"oh really?"

suddenly you turned towards him with a smile that could rival the sun

"thank you for looking after sho, bokuto-san."

the shy ace instantly redden at your statement, stuttering up a small thank

"i-it's no big d-deal."

he says while scratching the back of his head

he sees you brighten up even more at him and oh gOd-

his heart was pounding so loud that he almost fainted

it was a good thing that hinata was already pulling you away from him to meet his teammates or else he would've actually fainted right then and there

he saw you turn around and once again your eyes meet his as you waved a small goodbye his way

he smiled shyly before waving back at you

it was love at first sight for bokuto and he was determined to make it last

[8-evil-annoying-catboys]

im going to do a fun exercise just because i haven’t seen a post demonstrating the worth of 1 billion dollars lately. so i’m going to write out and budget out exactly what i would do if i received $1B tomorrow out of nowhere, and then at the end compare that $1B to the profits my employer made last year, the net worth of my employer’s CEO, and then the net worth of elon musk and jeff bezos

so, the first thing i would do is i would buy a house, since that’s something that’s a practically unreachable dream for me rn as i’m living on my parents’ couch so literally even renting a place is out of my reach currently. i’d want a big house, because i’d like to run a senior cat sanctuary and/or feral cat rehab if i could, with plenty of land so i could build a sizeable cario and have a garden. i’d want to live in or near LA. at current pricing, i found a house on zillow, 2-bedroom with 1-bathroom and more land surrounding the house than the house has square footage (1.2K sq ft inside, and tbh the square footage of the plot is confusing because i’m not sure if it includes the interior or not, so we’ll say 4.4K-5.6K sq ft of land because idk 😭) one story, not a long trip to the beach… $1.03 million dollars.

that means i have $998,970,000 left. that’s nine hundred and ninety eight million, nine hundred and seventy thousand dollars.

after i buy my own home, i’d want to buy a better home for my parents, 2 siblings, and grandparents because they all live in the same house with me right now and it’s not a lot of space per person even if i wasn’t living in that house also (since that’s 6 people not counting me in a 4 bedroom 3 bathroom home). i found a luxury 4-bed 7-bath on zillow for sale right now in LA county so they wouldn’t be too far from me, they’d have enough bathrooms so every individual person could have their own and there’d still be a guest bathroom, and there’s even an office that could serve as a fifth bedroom. spacious yard, fireplace, pool, the works. $7.199M

i have $991,771,000 left. two homes in LA county, one that’s even IN the city of los angeles itself, each costing over a million dollars with one wildly more expensive than the other. i haven’t even spent a full 1% of the money i received yet.

ok, so, these houses both have garden space but neither appears to really have gardens—one has, like, a lawn, the other has some terrible looking dirt. i want my garden and my family’s garden both to look wonderful and im overwhelmed to get the whole process done myself, so maybe i hire landscapers. to remove the lawn from one house, allowing for the equipment, and remove the debris, costs about $700 if we estimate high. estimates for setting up a garden seem to have a max cost of $200, so if that’s two gardens to set up after the lawn is removed, that’s $400 on setup, plus the lawn removal, so that’s $1.1K on landscaping.

i have $991,769,900 left. STILL more than 99% of the original $1B. two fancy houses in one of the most expensive areas to live in the US, one lawn removal, two gardens set up.

the next thing i’d want to do is pay for my boyfriend and his dog to move to CA so he can live with me. let’s say i hire him a moving service to bring his stuff, and buy him a ticket from his state to LAX. he lives across the country from me. the estimated cost of getting a moving company to pack all his stuff for him and transport it to LA, and again i’m going with the maximum amount listed here, is about $6.4K. the most expensive, fanciest first class ticket i could find, leaving tomorrow, would be about $2.9K. he is currently training his dog to be a service animal fitting the questions that establishments are legally allowed to ask per the ADA, but this flight goes through airlines that require training certification; he would need her to be present in the cabin with him. if i paid for her to be trained and certified officially, that would cost up to $30K. so, altogether, the cost for him and his dog to come to LA and to move all his stuff would be, like, $39.3K.

i have $991,730,600 left. 2 houses, one more than $1M and one a multi-million dollar home. landscaping renovations for both homes. service dog training and certification, full-service cross-country moving service, and a first class ticket across the US. and still not even a full 1% spent. im having trouble even coming up with more things to spend money on.

well, i want a cat sanctuary and i want to build a large catio, so let’s go with that. and while we’re building stuff, fuck it, let’s add an extra bathroom to my house so i’ll have a guest bathroom, and let’s also give my parents’ house a catio since my sibling has 2 cats. to add a new bathroom to a house costs up to $47K. the estimates for an extra-fancy enclosed patio would be up to $45K. so that’s $90K for two fancy-ass catios, plus $47K for the extra bathroom, for a total of $137K.

i still fucking have $991,593,600 left. i started this exercise thinking i might spend like 10% of the $1B by the end, but i’m starting to think that’s not gonna happen. i’m gonna damn well try, though.

how about i fully remodel my home, since i want to save cats, to accommodate their needs. shelving and cat trees and all sorts of cool shit. focusing on ‘stair’ type shelves since i’d want to focus on saving seniors. i found a cool setup i could maybe apply 4 times in a room, $200 apiece (almost, but i’ll round up to nail in my point). this home would now have 6 rooms at least (2-bed 2-bath kitchen and living room), that’s $800/room for 6 rooms = $4K for the whole house. the most expensive pet stairs i could find for 2 beds is like another $1K for two sets of stairs, so $5K. let’s say i also convince my parents to let me put this cool setup in every room in THEIR house. the house i found for them has an entry room, 2 family rooms, one office, a kitchen, four bedrooms, and seven bathrooms, so 16 rooms total. at $800/room… that’s $12K. plus the $5K on my own home become a cat paradise, that’s $17K. i’ll add an extra $3K cat toy/food/litter/etc budget for an even $20K.

i have $991,573,600 left.

i have an old car right now. a prius that was honestly kinda shitty and i got scammed but that’s another story. let’s say i want to buy the newest fanciest prius i can buy. let’s say i also want to buy my parents, my grandma, my siblings, and my boyfriend new cars. i’ll get my dad another of the fancy new prius since he has a prius too, and my grandma a fancy new hybrid highlander. i’ll get my mom a fancy new hybrid RAV4, and another fancy new prius for each of my siblings, and i’ll get my boyfriend a hybrid sports car. the fanciest 2022 prius prime i can get plus a bunch of extra accessories i don’t necessarily need, adds up to about $37K. i would be buying 4 of those, so that’s $148K for me, my dad, and my siblings to all have new cars. for the fanciest 2022 hybrid highlander with all the same bullshit accessories, $54.1K. for a fancy 2022 hybrid RAV4 with the same BS, $53.7K. for a fancy 2022 hybrid porsche sports car, like $213K. so, $148K for my dad and myself and my two siblings, plus 54.1K for my grandma = $202.1K, plus $53.7K for my mom = $255.8K, plus an exuberant $213K for my bf = $468.8K on cars.

i still have $991,104,800… this is getting depressing. i could donate $500M to charity and still have $491,104,800. or 49% of $1B, after giving away 50% and buying a bunch of luxury shit for myself and my immediate family and my boyfriend. i’ll move on to the last part.

last year (2021), the corporation by which i’m employed made $20.3B in gross profit. that’s over 20 times the starting amount of money that i couldn’t even find a way to spend 1% of.

surprisingly, our current CEO’s net worth is actually less than a billion dollars—he’s only worth $90M as of december 2021! so that’s about 9% of $1B, meaning i would’ve been able to find a way to spend 1/9th of his money, which is, like, 11% or so?? 11.1111…%? idk, whatever. it’s still ridiculous.

elon musk is worth $198.6B—so almost fucking $200B now. so 200 times the amount of money i couldn’t even think of ways i’d spend 1% of. i found a way to spend less than fucking 0.005% of his money or some ridiculously infinitesimal amount akin to that.

and apparently at some point elon musk became richer than jeff bezos which i totally missed, probably because i don’t care about them beyond hating their guts—bezos is worth $170B. if i had that amount of money tomorrow, i would just BARELY be able to spend 0.005% of bezos’s fortune, according to my calculator.

building a guillotine, apparently, costs about $1200.

i have $991,103,600 left.