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#im out of sorts tonight
chandra-nalaar · 1 month
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i made a mabel pines themed beverage called "goodbye summer" and its so good that im literally in tears. ingredience for mabel juice:
greek yogurt. duh
a LOT of mango
just a little bit of strawberry and banana
blackberries for color
1 brick(??) of acai sludge
yeah i put my vitamins in here. this is how i take my vitamins
some flavor syrup called "mermaid" and another one called "unicorn". "mermaid" is pineapple flavoring, it literally didnt tell me what "unicorn" flavor could possibly be, but its pink
"some" alcohol. i didnt have any malibu so i used pina colada flavored wine. amount: well a lot of it
whimsy (1% milk)
it tastes like: pink. also wine
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crabbunch · 1 year
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ethubs to me is like. tfw you kill and die for someone so many times that you can't even grow tired of it. it's mundane, sure, but in the way that loving someone is mundane. blood becomes like waking up to them every morning- an expected but beautiful nonetheless way of things being. it doesnt matter if they're killing each other or their enemies or pretending to do one and actually doing the other to them it is an act of devotion. and not the dramatic kind. tfw you die and kill for someone so often that instead of loosing meaning it gains sentiment. this is not a tragedy anymore!!! they are ripping it apart with their hands and laughing!!! is there anymore power to an actor than that? than turning the story to a comedy? they're sooo sitcom core. of course they love violence- there's no reason to be afraid of dying when it's not the end. they'll have another go at it, and another and another and another and another. the grief is real, sure, as real as the bloodlust- it's just not the thing that lasts
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working on something
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lazaruspiss · 1 year
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I like Dick being romani as much as the next guy, but his situation in particular is one where im like. yeah, it's understandable if you'd rather not. firstly bc he was just white for most of his 80+ years of existing, and secondly bc the origins of making him romani are just straight up racial stereotyping... It's a hornets nest.
but as for why i keep it in my image of him. he's just so deeply detached from his heritage in a way that i find kinda comforting. im not romani specifically, but due to my family background, i have little to no connection to any cultural heritage on my moms side (and neither does she, really). Dick's relationship with his heritage isn't explored well from what I've seen of it, but the concept itself is meaningful. the concept of being detached. finding out there's a part of you, a part of your family that's different from what you thought it was. different from what you thought of yourself. different from what people think of you. you don't know it at all. It doesn't feel like it's yours to claim. a disconnect. It's isolating, but knowing you're not alone in your loneliness is an important concept, I think. I like the idea for its potential rather than the execution of it. I don't think I'm explaining this well, partially bc the whole thing brings up a lot of my own messy feelings.
TLDR: the actual stories about Dick's being romani aren't done well, but the bare-bones concept of it is something that resonates with me.
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monachopsissssss · 1 year
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heres a fun idea instead of unlearning my unhealthy behaviors and fixing my self and coping and working through my trauma hows about i run away, disfigure my face, change my age and name, burn down my life and carve a new personality for myself and also reassemble my organs while im at it. like i need to at least replace my heart and slice open my liver. and never look at the sky again ive basically done it before i can do it again
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indigodawns · 7 months
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#these are just some thoughts re: friendship as a result of tonight that i need to jot down somewhere but#realising that i really do have a strict and set idea of Good Friend(ship) and what that entails to me#and id written people off bc i wasn't yk ~receiving love or friendship the way id prefer and i was angry with them for that/hurt about it#did i communicate that to them though? nooo. was i fully right in that? also no. like just bc i felt unheard didn't fully mean#that they were doing something wrong. they were trying in their own way (and sometimes they weren't really or it just wasn't nice)#but that's about how we match and how we communicate right? this is so silly that's so basic but it never fully clicked for me like this#i was blaming them for stuff and building up resentment without ever expressing that (and i still haven't yk dhshsjd)#and i think where i went ~wrong was in thinking that bc i felt that way they weren't ~giving me what i need#when it's like... but did i pick up on the ways in which they DID appreciate me and show me love etc? did i give them ANYTHING to work with?#(ok yes occasionally but also... tangent but i was watching a variety show and they were teasing woozi about how#he gives interviewers/hosts literally nothing to work with. like no extra information for them to ask about or tease him for or anything#and i was like ohhhhhh. yeah i do do that sometimes with friends and it's genuinely smth i don't really know how to do like#giving casual information (but not too much and not too little???) so they can then ask questions etc. so then if im like ughh#they never ask (the right) questions or show interest (or let me talk but that's a different thing dhsjdjd) it's like...#well do i give them the chance to? much to think about thank you woozi)#anyways where was i dhsjsnsnsjns idk but it's soooo annoying that i haven't figured this all out yet#but im slowly letting go off a bunch of resentment that has truly no business being here and im trying to self reflect and all that#and im honestly doing so shit some days but others days it's? finding stuff that matters to me on a deeper level ig?#and all of it really does pale in the face of multiple genocides and it's. but yk. if i want to keep fighting#i need to build a strong foundation and sort my shit out as well and be present so im really really trying#and beating my stupid stupid depression and brain with a stick until i get there
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strangedisciple · 11 months
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i need to do stuff but i. dont wanna
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hella1975 · 1 year
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'why are you smiling' because i have beautiful mutuals and we all love each other. go back to your sports romance you heinous bitch
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vee-lociraptor · 2 months
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“i am not a good writer” guy who co wrote two novel length stories in early high school and was always very highly praised in creative writing discussion forums and whose friends like their writing
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todayisafridaynight · 11 months
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seonhee and sawashiro both being associated with purple's the most evil shit in the world now who the fuck am i supposed to put in my purple card holder
#snap chats#sorry guys im one of those girlies who are super into card holders now </3 esp the ones you can customize </3#highkey i got this cause i wanted to put my school id in it so i didnt have to take my wallet out every time i needed to get in my buildin#BUT ON THE LOWEST OF KEYS I GOT IT TO BE MENTALLY ILL TOO i was obsessed watchin people journal and make cute card holders#i dont get recc'd those vids anymore but i remember watchin em an bein like MAN i wanna do that.... thats so cute..#on the real i think card holder customizing's healthy for me. it helps me learn to use things i buy LMAO#CAUSE WITH STICKERS AND THE SORT I HOARD THEM AND NEVER USE EM#and i always get buyer's guilt even if it's something small so i just think. i have to learn letting go and things not being perfect is ok#YOU BOUGHT IT SO USE IT like those ishin colognes... like the scent'll fade anyway i should use them while i can...#as much fun and therapeutic I Think as this was tho i cant imagine having a need to get another card holder... tragedy..#regardless. this card holder's really cute </3 spoilers it's a kuromi one cause i needed more purple in my room i fuckin guess#the stickers were real cute.. also there was a lil baku... hi baku <3#which leads me back to my problem. '''''''problem''''''' yeah i dont even have a printer here but when i go back to my ma's i wanna be sick#walmart lets you get photos on that GLOSSY PAPER... tempted... anyway no listen to my non problems#cause in my heart i do associate kuromi with seonhee alright it just makes sense. PLUS baku and joon-gi#COUNTERPOINT. HOWEVER. there is no image funnier than slapping a depressed middle aged man who prob has a worryin body count#into a card holder decorated with hearts and sweets and bows with a big ass heart keychain danglin off it. like cmon#big brain move is to print out one pic each of em and just swap em out every other day LOOOL#i just want an excuse to show off the card holder.. i get why people have these now this was fun and cute....#ok bye i think ive been ill enough tonight#i thought i was gonna finish another comm but ☠️ ill just do them tomorrow morning they wont take long..
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risingsunresistance · 9 months
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goodmorning everyone, i found a huge bug in skyblock KJFDHG
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mettywiththenotes · 10 months
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Wait do you think the hc lady never spoke up about chairman doing things she didn't like because she'd get shot or something
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princessmyriad · 5 months
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#personal#i have doctors appt today with a new doctor its literally not even a real appointment i just need some stupid forms signed#but guys im so stressed im so scared ive already cried once about it today i just. i fucking hate doctors so so much#theyre all so bad. im not in the mood to be dismissed again today and its 15 goddamn degrees so everything feels bigger and worse than it is#if they dont sign the form i dont get paid any more and if i dont get paid i cant continue to try and sort out my medical#which means i continue to not get paid and im just. so scared. so so fucking scared i dont even care if we find the start if the path#to vetter my health i dont care about gettinf better right now i just need this fucking form signed but#ive already been dismissised for it once and i have new doctor jitters. what do you mean i have to tell someone new that#i have ptsd and anxiety and depression and fibro and alleged bpd but its probably autism actually and hope#hope and prey they losten to me because its other doctors that have told me this and im definitely computer illiterate i couldntve come up#with all this on my own i promise ive done zero research into my own symptoms i live with every day im a simpleton im an idiot#please believe me dr refer me to ypur colleagues for further testing but in the mwan time sign the one form i need please#im so scared. i dont know what to do. my tarot says to tryst myself and find my own authority about the situation#but like literally legally i cant i have to rely on the hope this new doctor gives her signature or i dont get fucking paid as stated#i hate this i feel so shaky and nervous and nauseous and awful 😮‍💨#and im supposed to do groceries today. im at the very end of my shopping like if i dont go get food today#then i dont eat tonight but its cold and rainy and im super stressed abt the appointment so idk if ill be able to go shopping after#i dont wanna die anymore but like rn i kinda do this is too much today feels like too much#help me im drowning
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reikunrei · 11 months
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im so exhausted but it's that kind of exhausted where i don't wanna get up to get ready for bed bc im so exhausted but that just means i get more exhausted sitting up at my desk when i could instead be conked out cozy in my bed. help
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sodrippy · 5 months
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essential tremor is such a sexy little condition i can always roleplay middle aged protagonist in his bathroom after a harrowing experience
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doctorwhoisadhd · 6 months
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i am at exactly 13,743 words on my 12jack sequel.
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