#im serious folks this is a fantastic experience

[star-trek-episodes-to-watch-high]

Star Trek very Short Treks season 1 episode 5 Walk, Don't Run

[paulwalltran]

Dungeons and Dragons Loneliness

Another interview with lofi music. Today was a pretty shitty day, alot on my mind. Here to unload. 

Today’s mood: Fuck it all...

It’s a mad addiction, a horrendous one. It’s all I think about, it’s all I want to talk about. Or almost anything fantasy related. I’ve recently gotten a little closer with one of my co workers. Delerner Banks, everyone calls him Del. He’s always in the tunnel, and always brings warhammer books to read and do work (whatever it is he’s working on.) We talk about fantasy related things all the time, and sometimes we bounce ideas off each other, feeling out our thoughts of settings and lore. Talking to him about some fantasy before leaving work made me feel alot better. The loneliness inside has been eating at me.

I know it’s salt, I know its jealousy, that I’m mad at my friends. They been hanging out more without me, playing cards and shit. Its not a passion of mine, its fun sometimes, but its still not me. Its what they bond over, its what they do together, and that’s what theyre into. If I had to guess, they’re okay with Dungeons and Dragons, but even my best friend said that I take it too serious. Its fallen out of their favor, it eats up a lot of time, and they each have their version of what a fun campaign would be like. In me, I said to myself, “Fine, fuck it. I’ll have to assemble another crew to play with.” Tough situation then isn’t it? Wanting to play a social game that needs bodies, during an age where social gatherings are frowned upon, because they carry a potential to spread a virus... Still, this is what I want to do. I want a group of friends, who share the same passion I do. My current friends must think ill of me, they may just want to hang out. They think that if they come hang with me, I’ll want a game of DnD without a doubt. They just want to chill and kick it, they don’t want to roll dice. But ask me once and I’ll tell you yes twice, to playing DnD. 

I love it with all my heart, all of the contents and materials are here, ready to play. No extra investments, no money needed to be spent, we can get going off of nothing like we did back then. A table top roleplaying game, we started with cardboard and lego figures, and just two books to share. But there was fun to be had, and a few heated sessions. But fun it was, the more we played the deeper i grew fond of the game. I’m even willing to experiment with other systems if I have someone to guide me. With cards, you gotta constantly update your arsenal to keep up with the meta, and let’s be real, not playing anything remotely close to meta isn’t as fun. Different formats allow different decks, and to keep current you gotta keep up. I dont have the fundings for it, I dont have the luck. I would rather buy a module that’ll last for years, versus a pack of cards. I have two books that have skyrocketed in value, cards go up and down like stocks. But thats the appeal I suppose, I don’t care for it though.

Back to the thing at hand, I’m in their group chat as they make plans. I can’t be there for all that. But fuck it, that’s all Im going to say. Fuck it, on repeat, until its engraved into my head. Pride is getting the best of me, I refused to be denied again. If it’s not something they want to do, so be it, I need to look out for me in the end.  I must muster up the courage to start playing online again, the first one wasn’t bad, but it fell apart. I need to get the courage to be social, and get over the fear that everyone expects you to be a pro player. I’m scared going into this green still, roll20 isn’t my forte. But if I want to play DnD, this seems to be my only option. It may fulfill my wish, to find friends who are just as passionate as I. My other friends, they’re over on the other side. Its fine, it truly is, they have one another, and I need to be strong. I need to find the strength in this loneliness, even though its tearing me apart. My circle becomes smaller, thats just the way of the world. Adapt to survive, be formless like water...

Dungeons and Dragons, my greatest escape. I can be anybody, and do things I normally can’t. I can clobber up bad guys, indecent folk, and finesse my way out of punishment from the law. I can save a village, a town, a kingdom, when I can hardly save myself. I can fly, cast spells, break locks, imagination is my only limit. I can hoard and amass vast amounts of riches, I myself can even become a dragon. I don’t have to be me, although a bit of me resides in everyone I’ve made before. I can never truly separate myself, from those Ive breathed life into. For hours on end, I can go anywhere, do anything, I melt into the world thats placed before me.

 Because the reality is that I’m practically shit, and nobody. The world is fucked up and jacked up and spiraling down the drain. I’m mentally fucked and my physicality is pretty much the same. I’m stuck in place when the world is demanding me to change. I lost with no real direction. No map in hand, no guide, and I’m scared out of my mind. I don’t know whether to trust the process or commit suicide. Im not sure where I’ll end up, if it’s good or bad. Im struggling, I’m suffering, and there seems to be no end. I could say I’m trying, but I would be lying, if I had to look at the brighter side. The positive things in life are so hard to identify. But my emotions are raw and hit hard, slamming against the walls in my skull. Demanding me to give them attention...and attention I give them, as they tear me up. Like being pulled at by the limbs, drawn and quartered is the method it seems like today. I was thinking that I couldn’t drink forever, my body would eventually reject. But what if I drank energy drinks on end, a heart attack to get me out of this place. I can down those all day long, so whats stopping me from taking that way out of it? Less grotesque and violent, it’ll probably be painful as hell. An organ seizing up, as the body ceases the function. I get said thinking about it sometimes, but one day, enough will be enough. But damn that lady...damn her for speaking those words... Tomorrow. If nothing is better by tomorrow, then do as you may. But sleep it off, tomorrow is another day. 

It’s not verbatim, but its the gist. Just wait for tomorrow, and hopefully things will change. The choice is still mine to make, and something in me pushes me forward, keeps me going on. Sometimes I think about who I’m leaving behind, and maybe how much it’ll hurt. The evil darkness inside me says that they’ll get over it, they have to, and time doesn’t wait. I won’t be immortalized, I’ll simply end up a statistic. That maybe itll be a few years the sadness remains fresh, but wounds always heal. Discrediting my actual existence, and any form of relations. Like I wouldn’t have made any actual impressions, people don’t weep for me now. People kind of forget I exist already, what makes me think they won’t after I’m gone? 

I think about my folks, my grandma, my girlfriend, my second family, and other close dear friends. I think about how many last will letters I would have to put out there, before I call for the curtains. Sometimes, I say I will start writing them, but they give me pause. I end up not wanting to leave this world, after pouring out my heart. Because I don’t want to leave any questions behind for people who matter, I want them to know how I felt before I passed. I want to leave with them apart of me, so they would never forget. 

Still it doesn’t change, shit is rough as of lately, work has been eating me up. I feel like Im never hundred percent, and me back on gaming is making it worst. I’ve gotten back onto Elder Scrolls Skyrim, its been my virtual version of DnD. Waiting for the Outer World Expansion, so I can get addicted to that again. All I want to do is play Dungeons and Dragons, the question is how do I make that into a living? I think being a Matthew Mercer is one in a million, I don’t think I’m that great. I’m willing to learn, grow, evolve because it is my passion, but I’m always scared of making mistakes. To be one of the greater Dungeon Masters, to be THE Wizards of the Coast Dungeon Master, it may possibly be the dream. To eat, sleep, breathe, Dee en Dee. My obsession isn’t that crazy though, I’m still behind on the lore of creatures and settings, I haven’t studied at all. But with the right drive and motivation, I would, especially with something as real as a legit group.

Enthusiastic players, who show up every week, bi weekly, once every month even, to play this fantastic game. Group of chill folks who is willing to take the Dungeon Master Mantle with I get burned out and have the desire to be in the player seat. One of those is the driving force, they make me want to plan. They make me want to make the world, the style, everything in general better, with the constructive feedback. I mean it’s been so long as I was a player in a campaign until the end, I’m beginning to think paying for a Dungeon Master wouldn’t be so bad. Once a month? A couple of hours? I mean I’m thinking like seven USD per hour? Eight isn’t bad, but after that it becomes a questionable amount. It repeats in my head, “No DnD is better than Bad DnD”, this much is probably still true. I say still because I still might want at least one session with said game, so I can at least say it was the worst after having attempt it, rolling something. Ha ha, I kid myself, I’m lying because I know the rage would be all to real and caution is my game most of the time. But I mean, I just might have to start exploring the idea, I was definitely going to ask on FaceBook if any Roll20 games was recruiting a newbie. 

Alas, today won’t be the last time I speak on the matter, Dungeons and Dragons haunt me everyday. I stare at minis, I stare at the upcoming books and modules, and I watch youtube where they tell RPG Horror Stories, Its become a huge part of my life, such as dancing once was. It almost links right into my earliest talents...writing. I love to write, just like I’m doing now. Im fairly decent at the writing game if I must say. Hey, real life failed Bard here, I should make one who always ends up playing big bro, and end up being friendzoned by all his interests. Im short, so Halfling is very true. Am I charismatic? Who knows, I can’t say for sure. But yes, I feel like this is what I need, a solid weekly game, maybe once every two weeks, hell, once every month would still be great. Something to look forward to the very least, in this life of routine and mundane. Something to look forward to for me, something that’s my own. Something I don’t need my closer friends to be apart of, since they’re not interested anyhow. I’m really talking shit because I’m hella salty, but at least I’m being upfront. Get it all out now, before the typing is done. 

It’s been a productive session, I may have to attribute it to Lofi it seems. The Lofi Hip Hop Radio on YouTube, also found on Spotify. Some tracks still strike me deep in the chest, giving me horrible flash backs and feeling in my chest. Others keep me going, forward, almost propelling. I’m currently training myself to be accustomed to the sounds, because I at first was very scared. That it would just transport me to a dark place and keep me there. I’ve been trying to confront my feelings more with this music, I think I felt better after last session like this. The more I faced myself, the better I became. Yes, I most definitely referenced Persona 4, another amazing and loved title because of the message it portrays. I always wondered what my shadow self would look like, and what they would say. But eh another time, I’m about to start rambling again. I have to conclude here, before I get off topic.

Until next time Tumblr...

[kvndeathmusic]

my favorite records of the 2010s pt 1 (the less great stuff/honorable mentions)

Neither this post or its followup are going to be in any particular order, however all the records I talk about here are, in my opinion, not as good as the records i will talk about in my part 2. they’re all fantastic but these ones slightly a little less fantastic than the ones in my “top 10″. none of this is based on stuff like 'influence' or whatever other critics base their lists on, this is solely how much I enjoyed these records. And keep in mind, I'm only human, I havent listened to a good lot of records I've heard others describe as top 10 worthy, these are just records I found and that I resonate with. long post ahead. 

Vacation - Bomb the Music Industry (2011)

If you asked me what my favorite band is i will either say bomb the music industry or jeff rosenstock, but considering those are pretty much the same things it doesnt matter lol. While Vacation isnt a perfect record, it is one I love. It lacks some of the ska elements that I love about earlier BTMI records, but at the same time, it is the first record where Jeff’s “””solo””” career sound starts to form in tracks like Sick, Later, Hurricane Waves, Everybody That You Love, Everybody That Loves You, and Vocal Coach. And these tracks are all fantastic, especially the absolutely explosive opener Campaign For a Better Weekend. Where this album suffers in my mind is the fact that it exists as a weird hybrid middle ground between BTMI and modern Jeff Rosenstock, it isn’t really ska like old BTMI and it’s not quite to the same standard as the tracks on We Cool?. And some of the songs are just, not as good as the others, like Why, Oh Why, Oh Why (Oh Oh Oh Oh), which is washed out almost entirely in reverb, and tracks like Savers feeling barren and missing additional instrumentation. But fuck man I can not dislike this record or just call it “ok” because despite this I still listen to this record a lot, it’s so catchy and fun and Im a bit too chronically addicted to btmi. 

Reflektor - Arcade Fire (2013)

i dont really get the hate/mixed feelings others have with this record. there’s so many good tracks dude!!!! sure theres a bit of a slump in the middle and it doesnt reach the same emotional heights as their previous records you gotta be ignorant to overlook this records strengths. while i do like The Suburbs more than Reflektor, man i just vibe HARD with some of these tracks; the title track, We Exist, Here Comes The Night Time, Normal Person, Awful Sound (Oh Eurydice), Porno, and ESPECIALLY Afterlife. Plus the cover art is cool and I like it. However Flashbulb Eyes is one of the worst tracks Arcade Fire has ever put out and I hate it immensely. And while far less offensive, tracks like You Already Know, It’s Never Over (Hey Orpheus), and Joan of Arc are just kinda boring and/or uninteresting. Now granted, I'm extremely biased when it comes to Arcade fire in general unless were talking about the trainwreck that is Everything Now. I started listening to Arcade Fire just before Reflektor came out, and I have a kinda sentimental attachment to the record. ill explain the feeling more when i talk about The Suburbs. anticipation oooooo.

good kid m.A.A.d city - Kendrick Lamar (2012)

i might get crucified by some for not putting this in my top 10, but whatever come at me i guess. gkmc is a fantastic record, but i do think the ending is weak, which is why it’s here instead of in the top 10. i mean, let’s be real, Real is a mediocre track, and while Dying of Thirst is an important track to the whole narrative of the record, it feels way too long. almost everything else about this record is fantastic, from the beats, to kendrick’s nasally flows, to the overall structure of the record spinning a tale of a young man battling demons both inside and out, and his eventual redemption. even if i find this record at times to drop pace, it really is flawless otherwise. it felt like a disservice to put this in the 20-10s, bc it’s a good record, but i had to make some compromises and this was one of them. 

RTJ2 - Run The Jewels (2014)

el-p and killer mike are a perfect duo, and the tracks they make together are always total bangers. and for me, RTJ2 is the best overall, with RTJ3 in a close second. it’s hard to put this on the lower half of the list, some of the tracks just don’t work as well as the others, but despite that there’s not really any tracks i hate or dislike on this record, minus maybe crown. the pure aggression in the opening track Jeopardy sets the tone for an aggressive yet highly focused record. This is some of the best rap out there right now if you want some music to fuck shit up to. 

Pure Comedy - Father John Misty (2017)

This record is both hilarious and extremely bleak. Josh Tillman is a master of satire and sarcasm, and Pure Comedy is the peak of his songwriting skills. The title track is one of the best tracks of the decade, period. And he keeps up the momentum on the following few tracks. The main problem with this record is its weaker second half, but even then it’s criminal to suggest that those songs aren’t good regardless. And despite the bleakness, the one line that sticks in my head after all this time is the line this album fades out to: There’s nothing to fear.

Knife Man - AJJ (2011)

Continuing on the trend of folky, satirical, and bleak records, Knife Man is AJJ’s defining record (next to their debut LP). AJJ blends loud, punky anthems with quieter, folk tracks that touch on sensitive issues in a way only AJJ manages to get away with. And there’s some genuine heart mixed in as well, with the final track Big Bird always striking a chord with me. However, I do feel the record is, let’s just say, padded at times in my opinion. Still, I can’t deny how much i enjoy tracks like Gift of the Magi 2, Hate Rain on Me, The Distance, and Skate Park. Speaking of which when I saw AJJ live recently they played none of those songs and that kinda sucked but hey it was like $20 I can’t complain. And speaking of not getting what I wanted...

You Won’t Get What You Want - Daughters (2018)

It was hard choosing between this record and their 2010 self titled record, but in terms of the overall narrative and variety this record shines through. If there was a number 11 spot in this unorganized list this would probably take that spot. It’s noisey, it’s abrasive, and it’s like nothing you’ve heard before unless you’ve listened to Daughter’s previous records. Tracks like The Reason They Hate Me are catchy in the weirdest and most unwelcoming of ways, Less Sex sounds like a long lost Trent Reznor NIN track, and Guest House is a masochistic and gut wrenching finisher. Fantastic record aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

We Cool? - Jeff Rosenstock (2015)

It’s obvious that I had to include this record somewhere on these list. It’s like a more refined version of the sounds that Jeff experimented with on Vacation. Definitely more punk than ska, but still some of those roots still shine through, especially in the track Nausea. Some of Jeff’s best songs are on this record, from the loud opening tracks Get Old Forever and You, In Weird Cities, to tracks dripping with bittersweet and moody lyrics like I’m Serious, I’m Sorry and Polar Bear or Africa. The main reason this record is on the back end of the top 20 is because the deeper cuts on the record do not match the energy and heights of the best tracks. Tracks like All Blissed Out, The Lows, Darkness Records and Beers Again Alone don’t feel like they belong and stick out a bit. They remind me more of the material Jeff put out on his 2012 EP I Look Like Shit. Mind you they aren’t bad tracks, but I’ll be honest I skip them often when listening to the record because i just wanna get back to the good good stuff. 

Sports - Modern Baseball (2012)

Sports is one of the best pop punk records ever, if you can even consider it as such. It’s like a blend of emo and folk punk, and it works so well. A good majority of this record is on my main shuffle playlist. Is it pushing boundaries? Not really, but tracks like Re-Do, Tears Over Beers, and See Ya, Sucker are undeniably catchy and memorable. I NEED MODERN BASEBALL BACK TOGETHER RN. There’s not really anything that wrong with the record, besides maybe lacking in variety, but at 30 minutes, it’s a record that feels nostalgic even on a first listen, and continues to feel that way even after numerous re-listens. Speaking of nostalgia...

The Suburbs - Arcade Fire (2010)

Some background, when I was 13 (circa 2013), I only really listened to whatever my parents put on for me. From my mom, I “inherited” a taste for classic pop and 80s new wave. From my dad, I got metal and hard rock. The first time I made the conscious decision to listen to a record fully, based on my own curiousity, was when I sat and listened to Sgt. Pepper in the summer of 2013, which broadened the scope of what I thought music could even be. And later that year, the first band I got into after The Beatles? Arcade Fire. When I think of my early teens, the memories are set to this record. I remember listening to Ready to Start in my brother’s old hot ass car while driving to the local fair with some friends on a chill fall night, eating tons of junk and staying up past midnight back when doing that was edgy and cool and not a symptom of my depression. 

If I was judging this record solely by its best tracks, it would easily be in the top 3. But I couldn’t place it in my top 10 because, frankly, some of the deeper cuts are lacking. I can’t say I like Deep Blue. I really don’t like Rococo. And Half Light I kills the pace of the record. But man, that title track, Ready to Start, Modern Man, Empty Room, Half Light II, Sprawl II... these songs defined my early teen years. I still tear up listening to the title track. Sure I have to skip a few songs when I re-listen, but I can’t place it any lower or my heart will break. It existing outside of the top 10 already hurts. And that’s all that’s left now. The top 10. 

But first, some random honorable mentions that didn’t make this list:

Sound & Color - Alabama Shakes

Black Star - David Bowie

Saturation II - BROCKHAMPTON

Melophobia - Cage the Elephant

Teens of Style - Car Seat Headrest

How to Leave Town - Car Seat Headrest

Daughters - Daughters

Sunbather - Deafheaven

Bottomless Pit - Death Grips

Year of the Snitch - Death Grips (should be on this list tbh)

Doris - Earl Sweatshirt

I Love You, Honeybear - Father John Misty

Helplessness Blues - Fleet Foxes

Plastic Beach - Gorillaz

Boarding House Reach - Jack White

POST- - Jeff Rosenstock

S/T - Joyce Manor

Firepower - Judas Priest

ye - Kanye West

KIDS SEE GHOSTS - KSG

You Were There - Kill Lincoln

Flying Microtonal Banana - King Gizzard

Infest The Rats’ Nest - King Gizzard

No New World - Mass of the Fermenting Dregs

Bury Me At Makeout Creek - Mitski

Puberty 2 - Mitski

Unsilent Death - Nails

Itekoma Hits - Otoboke Beaver

Morbid Stuff - PUP

A Moon Shaped Pool - Radiohead

RTJ3 - Run the Jewels

Angles - The Strokes

To Be Kind - Swans

Undertale OST - Toby Fox

Scum Fuck Flower Boy - Tyler, The Creator 

Igor - Tyler, The Creator

Weezer (White Album) - Weezer

nightlife - yuragi

[captainfantasticspastic]

“So the doc said I have ____ Seizures. What does that actually mean?” An Updated Cheat Sheet

So you’ve been diagnosed with epilepsy. Great… what does that even mean?

“Epilepsy is a seizure disorder,” meaning you’re brain is more likely to send off mixed signals, than the next guy. But that’s alright, ‘cause I’m going to lay down the basics of what you need to know. Lol.

First, let’s get this straight: everyone is capable of having a seizure. You stick lil’ Timmy infront of a high speed strobe for long enough, sooner or later his brain will say “What the hell am I looking at? I can’t keep up!” And he’ll wind up on the floor.

Folks who have Epilepsy, like you and I, are no different. We see things, hear things, feel, and taste, just like any other human being. Okay? What I’m trying to get at here is you are not a freak of nature. You are not a mutant. Sadly, no, you do not have special powers to set objects aflame. (I know. That bummed me out too.) No! Instead, you’re just a normal dudelet - just chillin with the rest of the human race.

But what does makes us different, is that we have a lower seizure tolerance than most. That’s it. I know right? When you say it like that, it doesn’t sound like a big deal. That’s cause it isn’t. What is a big deal, are the seizures themselves, which I’ll get to in a hot minute.

So what IS a seizure? Great question. “… a sudden surge of electrical activity in the brain,” says The Epilepsy Foundation (epilepsy.com). Another, but equally scientific, definition describes it as, “the workers in your brain going, ‘What the actual fuck are we dealing with here?’ And proceeding to lose their shit,”

Pretty much, something - be it lights, lack of sleep, stress, booze, high pitched beeping, the sight of toast, whatever - will set off this seizure. This is called a Trigger. Triggers are things that our brains don’t generally enjoy. They tend to me things that could give a person headaches, or migraines; or make you feel out of sorts if you have to deal with them for too long. It is possible for some to “delay” a seizure, or even stave it off completely. Not everyone can do this though. I know someone who’s been able to prevent her seizures by sleeping with a foot on the floor. I (sometimes) can push one off if I feel one coming on, by either her being physically active or focusing on something solid, to remind myself im not floating away. But as I said, not everyone can do it. It depends on what type of seizures you have, and how in tune you are with your body. I only figured out my method after years of experimenting.

Anyway, so we got the basics. Back to….

Seizures! There are two major categories from which we have a variety of flavors.

There’s Focal and Generalized. The main difference between the two is how they start. Easy enough, right? (I’ve heard tell of a third classification “Unknown Onset”, but we’ll get into that later)

First we have Focal Onset: Focal seizures happen in specific parts of the brain - Sort of like a controlled mob.

Focal Onset Aware (aka Simple Partial): Im gonna be frank with you here. There are like a million types of Simple Partial Seizures. I probably won’t hit every kind, and I apologize if I’ve skipped someone out there. Ya know. My bad. Nonetheless I’ll do my best.

Simple Partials are pretty cool is that you are awake for them. Oh yeah. That’s right. You can have a seizure and be totally cognizant. These are the ones many refer to as “Auras”. Yeah, you know that “warning” you get before blacking out? That my friend is most likely a simple partial seizure. They’re like little seizures. Aw cute, right. No! They’re a pain in the ass! (Ehem. Apologies) anyway, as I said before, they can come in a whole bunch of types. To save time, I’m just going to give you a list of the effects:

Some people experience Deja Vu, out of body experiences, weird tastes in your mouth, (there’s emotional/psychological kinds) that’s make you have intense sorrow, or a sense of impending doom, others make you randomly filled with a god-like rage.

Others make your hands, fingers, toes, legs, etc twitch.

Some make it IMPOSSIBLE to find the right words/understand words/even read, and you suddenly feel illiterate and as if English is your second language despite being brought up in the US. (I’m not emotionally invested or anything).

Honestly, for these, you really should look it up yourself. I’ll be doing a separate post just for them, but nonetheless. It’s too important, and it’s one that truly is unique to the person.

Focal Onset Unaware (aka Complex Partial):

These are like simple partial seizures, but you’re NOT awake. Apparently many experience lip smacking during it. I wouldn’t know, because I’m out for the count. The one thing I do know is they can go into Generalized Seizures. This is not common however, that’s just the case for me.

MOVING RIGHT ALONG

Next we have Generalized: “Generalized” Seizure are seizures that effect both sides of your brain. *Imagine a stray cluster of teenage neurons are having a house party, and EVERYONE shows up.*. [Neurons are the little electric dudes that’s race around your head and make everything work/tell different parts of your brain what’s going on]

Tonic-Clonic (Motor): This is the big nasty one that people believe all seizures look like. The person loses consciousness, and convulses (shakes).

What It’s Like: They don’t hurt while it happens; but I’ll be honest with you, it can feel like you’ve been hit by a bus coming out of it. Basically, you’ve been clenching up and releasing muscles you didn’t even know you had over and over really really quickly. It’s like being super out of shape, and then made to do a triathlon athlete’s complete workout circuit in 2-5 minutes. At a weird angle, so you probably get dinged up along the way. So yeah. I’d describe it as waking up to limp noodles for tendons and joints, and fiery rocks for muscles. It’s sorta like how you’d imagine the hero of an action film would ACTUALLY feel like if the scenario were real.

Absence: these are super quick, but can happen MANY many times a day. They’re so quick that they’re almost impossible to notice. You stare for a few seconds, and snap out of it. I know, not very scary. What sucks is that you can lose time with them. So one second you’ll be lovin life, and suddenly, black, you forgot what you were saying, and a whole bunch of things that happened recently. This all comes back though, eventually.

Clonic Seizures: Unlike Tonic Clonic, these big and nasties happen while you’re awake. (Fun fact: Tonic is the part of the seizure where you stiffen and fall unconscious. Clonic is where you convulse). So needless to say, these can hurt. Actually, they do hurt. A lot. I’ve only had a couple in my time, thankfully, but it feels like everything’s described earlier for Tonic-Clonics, except you are wide awake the entire time to enjoy every bump, scratch, and uncontrolled spasm. Oh, and it feels like there are electric shocks going through you. At least it did for me. These tend to last a few minutes.

Tonic Seizures: these tend to happen in your sleep, but they don’t have to necessarily. The muscles in your legs, arms, or abdomen tense up for about 20 seconds. It’s relatively harmless, but can mean for some serious loss of balance if it happens while standing up. (Also they’re just a pain, and can wear you out, honestly)

Atonic: These I’ll admit, can be spooky. Basically your muscles go limp for about 15 seconds at a time. So you might now be able to hold your head up; or suddenly you drop everything cause your arms go out. It’s not fun. It’s actually less than 15 seconds, but some people can have a bunch of these in a row. If its bad enough, some may consider wearing a helmet, if a fall hazard arises.

Myoclonic: Muscles will jerk as it electricuted. Apparently these seizures can start in the same part of the brain as Atonic, and many who have one have been known to experience the other.

So that’s what you missed on Glee! Any questions, comments, moans or groans, shoot em up my way! If anyone has any knowledge of Tonic Clonic Seizures, id love to hear it! And if I missed anything, please let me know!!

Hope this can be of some help for you newbies out there, (or for you other folks like I who never got the full story on their diagnoses til much later lol)

And don’t worry friend. I know Epilepsy is rough. I know it sounds scary, but you’re going to be fine. You’ve got an entire community who has your back :) So hang in there Kiddo!

Sincerely,

Captain Fantastic Spastic

[thebittersweetdistractor]

ALBUMS OF THE YEAR 2017

With so much great music released this year, it was nearly impossible to point to one artist or album that stands above all others. What follows is a list of 40 albums that kept making their way back on my turntable in the last twelve months.

Click on titles to listen on Spotify.

40- CORRIDOR  “Supermercado” 39- GAS  “Narkopop” 38- KENDRICK LAMAR  “Damn” 37- XIU XIU  “Forget” 36- FOUR TET  “New Energy” 35- HAND HABITS  “Wildly Idle (Humble Before the Void)” 34- TALABOMAN  “The Night Land” 33- ARCA  “Arca” 32- LIARS  “TFCF” 31- SPOON  “Hot Thoughts”

30- JAY SOM  “Everybody Works” 29- JAMES HOLDEN & THE ANIMAL SPIRITS  “The Animal Spirits” 28- PERFUME GENIUS  “No Shape” 27- ALDOUS HARDING  “Party” 26- GODSPEED YOU BLACK EMPEROR  “Luciferian Towers” 25- JOHN MAUS  “Screen Memories” 24- ALVVAYS  “Antisocialites” 23- ALESSANDO CORTINI  “Avanti” 22- ALEX G  “Rocket” 21- FEVER RAY  “Plunge”

20- BJÖRK  “Utopia”

Bjork’s self proclaimed “Tinder” album is both resolutely avant-garde and absolutely beautiful, a sensory experience that combines luminous, pastoral sounds and dissonant electronics to create an intimate, wonderfully (im)perfect world.

19- KELLY LEE OWENS  “Kelly Lee Owens”

Kelly Lee Owens’ self-titled debut album is a journey through house, techno, ambient, indie and pop. From the dreamy ‘Keep Walking’ to the club-ready banger ‘Evolution’, Owens combines her diverse musical identities in a beautiful and intriguing way.

18- MOGWAI  “Every Country’s Sun”

With David Fridmann producing, the latest Mogwai album “Every Country’s Sun” slowly reveals itself to be perhaps the most expansive Mogwai has sounded in some time.

17- MOSES SUMNEY “Aromanticism”

The debut album from contemporary Soul’s icon-in-the-making, Moses Sumney, is an intense and utterly gorgeous record about cynicism and cruelty of modern era’s romantic releationships. With vocals that are a halfway between Prince and Jeff Buckley, “Aromanticism” is a dreamlike, adventurous journey into modern R&B and Soul and one of the best albums released this year.

16- PROTOMARTYR  “Relatives In Descent”

On their fourth record, Detroit’s Protomartyr explore new sonic frontiers and get to the fringes of their expressive art, delivering a set of dystopian, moody songs executed with both class and fury that sounds exactly like the world we’re living in. The best Post-punk record of 2017.

15- THE XX  “I See You”

Inspired by the sunshine and sweeping landscapes of LA and Iceland, where they recorded “I See You”, the xx succeed in bringing some light into their music with a more outward-looking, open and expansive musical approach without giving up their signature sound and attitude.

14- THE WAR ON DRUGS  “A Deeper Understanding”

The War on Drugs have the capacity to to bridge seemingly disparate eras of sound under one unique musical vision . Meticulously produced, “A Deeper Understanding” showcase an impressive set of gorgeous, emotional songs with beautiful lyrics and guitar solos you wish would last for days.

13- FOREST SWORDS  “Compassion”

“Compassion” dig even deeper into the late-night sounds that made Forest Swords’ previous releases so good, pushing his mix of tribalism, melancholy and experimental Dubstep to the highest level possible.

12- ARIEL PINK  “Dedicated to Bobby Jameson”

Refining the pop-collages of his previous work, Ariel Pink crafts an immersive, weird and intimate record filled with great, captivating songs about time, fame and solitude that sound both simple and ambitious.

11- DEAN HURLEY  “Anthology Resource Vol. 1: △△”

Although “Twin Peaks: The Return” has hosted an array of Roadhouse performers and spotlighted music throughout its new season, a large part of the show’s sonic identity has been defined by the space between sound effects and music. Sound and music supervisor Dean Hurley’s first installment of the library-style “Anthology Resource series” showcases his original ambient music contributions featured in the show’s very distinctive-sounding third season (via Sacred Bones). “Anthology Resource Vol. 1: △△”  is utterly gorgeous, and both the best ambient and best soundtrack album to come out in 2017.

10- THE NATIONAL  “Sleep Well Beast”

With their seventh album “Sleep Well Beast”, The National extend and play around with their landmark sound integrating the experimental-music passions that the two Dessner brothers, Bryce in particular, have been chasing during their personal time over the past decade. The result is another stellar set of unsettling, emotional lullabies played with class and inventive. We’ll never get tired of this band.

9- FLEET FOXES  “Crack-up”

Sumptuous and ambitious, “Crack-Up” is a brave, serious and complicated album filled with poetry, secrets, silences and sudden explosions, atmospheric moments and epic rides. A very welcome return from one of the most influential bands from the past decade.

8- THUNDERCAT  “Drunk”

“Drunk” fuses jazz, Glitchy hip-hop beats, soul, retro-futuristic pop, funk and video game music into a modern soul masterpiece, fragmented into 23 pieces, unique in its lyrical narrative and loaded with striking collaborations with Kendrick Lamar, Kamazi Washington and Flying Lotus.

7- GRIZZLY BEAR  “Painted Ruins”

So imaginative and detailed, sharply focused but also abstract, “Painted Ruins” is a wondrously complex adventure that rewards attention and patience, revealing itself on every listen.

6- BIG THIEF  “Capacity”

Since its release, Big Thief’s second album “Capacity” kept making its way back on my turntable, and I was slowly overwhelmed by these delicate, intricate yet accessible indie-folk gems that deal candidly with family issues, trauma, pain and complicated matters of identity. A little, unexpected masterpiece.

5- MOUNT KIMBIE  “Love What Survives”

Mount Kimbie’s third full-length sounds like the work of a full band rather than an electronic record created with two vintage synths by a duo. Melancholic, catchy and danceable, “Love What Survives” embrace different sonic textures and influences, ranging from post-punk and dream pop, to Krautrock and R&B, and features fantastic collaborations with the likes of king krule, James Blake, Micachu and Andrea Balency. “Love What Survives” is Mount Kimbie’s best work and the coolest album of 2017.

4- SAMPHA  “Process”

“Process” is a very impressive stream of intricate instrumentals and devastating songs about loss that sound personal, vulnerable, powerful and, above all, beautiful.

3- KING KRULE  “The Ooz”

Alien and timeless, “The Ooz” weaves in and out of experimental and rock sounds, combining Jazz, trip-hop, dub, Ska and futuristic R&B, all perfectly linked by Marchall’s unique, piercing poetry.  The most ambitious and compelling album released this year.

2- SLOWDIVE  “Slowdive”

It was a long wait, but finally Slowdive have given us the album that we have been dreaming about for the last 22 years.

1- LCD SOUNDSYSTEM  “American Dream”

“American Dream” is an extraordinary album about living and aging, a visceral, pulsing set of songs perfectly balanced between the urgency of dance-rock, the moodiness of post-punk and the lightness of synth pop, a triumphant comeback from a band we thought we lost forever and the best album of 2017.

www.routinebiteshard.com

[yourskeletonpal]

You destiny 2 might have had a shitty launch. It might not have had any endgame content for a good year. It might be a grindfest that can't keep solo players happy. It might even be considered cringe because of writing mistakes or the dances

But its fucking good actually. It has a personality, its an experience I can only get from playing it. It has some fantastic, serious lore. It has genuinely interesting characters with complex feelings (Eris Morn, Cayde-6 etc). It has fucking folk tales! And its not above making fun of itself.

I love this game and will for a long time to come.

But also bungo please I just want thorn. Im a solo I cant- bungo please! Please!!!

[thecoroutfitters]

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[scotfowler]

Successful Real Estate Investing

You would probably be amazed to know that these days of instant communication and the ability for properties to be promoted on the world wide web to audiences of millions of individuals, there nevertheless exists lots of hot property deals available on the market. Let me share with you how I personally and many experts I understand, have profited greatly by finding hot property bargains. By sexy I mean property that’s being marketed well under market value.

Divorced

Its a sad actuality that many men and women are getting divorced nowadays, and during divorces, most couples have to market their property so as to divide the resources between the divorcing couple. Most people who are divorcing want to market their property quickly, and so will normally sell below market value in order to allow them to receive a fast sale.

Death

If folks pass away, they frequently leave their possessions to a bunch of individuals like their kids. When this occurs, many groups will want to market the property as it is the simplest way to divide the asset up. Most groups might want to sell their property quickly and will settle for below market value.

Dummies

Im still amazed by the fact that there are lots of people out there that do not know what their property is worth when they market. Many vendors dont see the potential in their home and so request less because they believe their property doesn’t look as good as the others from the road or that it requires a lot of work. If you comprehend the ways to add value to a property for not a great deal of cash, you can find properties with another perspective. Because you are a savvy investor and know the market in the region, you understand that the property is worth more. So its possible to get a property sold by a dummy for below market value.

Programmers

Now this vendor category might surprise you as you may be thinking, why would a programmer be desperate to market and why would they market under market value. Well there are lots of different sorts of developers out there rather than all of them are as experienced as the following. Some developers dont understand how to budget in most of the essential costs of developing a house. Other developers might not be in a position to acquire the very best kind of finance and so their banks are beginning to push them to get repayments that they cant afford unless they market some of the units inside a house. Some developers simply need to find some sales down so they can market that a particular proportion of their development was sold. All these cases spell a desperate vendor who needs to sell a property quickly and you benefit by buying it under market value.

Deadlines

These are vendors that have to sell as a result of an impending deadline. It may be that the vendor is moving overseas due to a job they have approved, or that the seller has already committed to buy another property and they will need to sell their existing one to finance the new buy. In these scenarios, you’ll locate a desperate seller who is generally quite flexible in their selling price and so you can grab a hot bargain under market value.

D’Bank

D’Bank becomes a desperate seller when a mortgagee defaults on their mortgage payment and the bank forecloses on the mortgagee. To be able to recover some of their money back to the loan and also to save on the expense of keeping up a home, the bank puts up the home for auction. In nearly all cases, these properties are sold well below market value. This is known as seized property or foreclosures. Its well known that you may buy foreclosed or seized properties for off market value.

The Way to Locate Desperate Trainers And Hot Real Estate Deals

The major question is, how do you find these desperate vendors and thus score these hot deals. Here are some ways:

Scour all of the places that record real estate properties available. Start looking for words in their own ads like desperate, distressed, heavily reduced, well under valuation, vendor moving overseas, vendor has purchased, vendor searching for quick sale, deceased estate. Chances are these are distressed sellers who will be willing to be quite flexible on their cost.

Keep up with the advertisements in a region that you are focusing on if you see possessions that have been listed for a few months, then you ought to be able to find a seller who’s tired and a bit more open to your supplies. Make good friends with property representatives and let them know that you are a expert property investor. The brokers often know about deals before they are advertised and if they know you are ready to pounce on a Fantastic bargain, they will want to conquer other brokers;

Work with real estate agents that are investors and keep in touch with them. Should they know that you’re serious and will act quickly they’ll keep you informed about some good deals that are coming; You can drive by properties which look a little run down and not taken care of. Either knock on the door or use council records to locate the operator. Give them a call and make an offer. Youll be surprised by how many vendors would be open to a serious authentic offer by a willing buyer.

Subscribe to the numerous real estate listing sites on the internet. Most of them allow you to reevaluate what you are looking for – search on keywords such as urgent, desperate, seller has purchased, deceased property and have All those emailed to you regularly;

Subscribe to foreclosed and captured property listing services that can send you the latest foreclosed property and once the auction will take place. Do you get this paralyzing feeling when trying to analyze an investment real estate? This is a continuous struggle with beginning investors in addition to some experienced investors. Let us discuss some of the reasons that cause this issue and the solutions to overcome them.

Not understanding or becoming comfortable with the selling price after purchasing and renovation is finished. This is also known as the After Repaired Value

Deciding the After Repaired Value is a rather straightforward process and definitely the most crucial. This is where you should spend the majority of your thinking time and efforts. Among the simplest ways to do this is to receive a CMA or comparative market analysis or comps from your realtor. When a realtor gives you comps, they show you what cost other houses which are much like this one you’re considering have sold for within the previous six months.

Here again, note I said “sold” and not what price houses are being “recorded”. Listing prices are normally the initial pricing of sentimental home owners who think their home is worth that price. In today’s market, seldom is a home sold for the original listed price. Realtors have a constant struggle with many home owners concerning a realistic listing price. So don’t get caught up in what other houses are recorded at. Be conscious of what cost similar houses have recently sold for.

A different way to work out After Repaired Value is to receive an appraisal from a certified appraiser. Yes costs money, but if everything else seems good about the deal and you’re uncomfortable with the realtor’s comps, you may always get the view of another specialist. They move more in-depth when appraising properties then realtors might. However I just trust the appraisal when I really hired the appraiser. This way I know I have given him or her the instructions on how I need the appraisal to be completed.

As much as I enjoy examinations, I have to admit I really like an experience real estate agent. They not only supply you with more comps than an appraiser, they know what is going on in the area. They know what people are looking for in homes in their region. But here again, you need to tell the realtor to not give you a number simply to make you happy. You want a price that the home will sell for in a reasonable time period.

I feel most confident and get that warm and fuzzy feeling when my After Repaired Value is the end result of the subsequent situation. A knowledgeable real estate agent has done a complete market analysis or comps and then I have listened to what the agent has to say about the area. He or she tells me the kind houses which are selling the quickest, what buyers are looking for and anything else that’s relevant and could be backed up with facts that will help me feel comfy in coming at the After Repaired Value or After Repaired Value of the house. Nothing makes me more comfortable than really seeing and comparing the homes which have sold to the home I’m considering purchasing. If my house will appear the same or better, it is a go.

Not knowing or being comfortable using the Estimated Cost of Repairs

This is just another biggie. One method to overcome this stumbling block would be to have a contractor with you once you inspect the house. Should you do this on a few houses, you will get very efficient at estimating the cost to fix many items like putting on a new roof, installing siding, and replacing windows and doors. You will also become familiarized with prices for painting, landscaping, clean outs, new furnaces and kitchen and bath updates.

You might also do some practice runs. Decide on a few vacant homes on the Multiple Listing Service and choose your builder there to offer you some costs. Another method is to use the exact same home and have distinct repair professionals come out and give you quotes. By way of instance, have a roofer come over and give you a cost for a new roof. Have a plumber check the heating system and provide you a price on putting in a new one. Ask a siding business to estimate you fresh vinyl siding. Have a painting contractor supply you with a cost on scratching and painting the outside of the house and a price for painting the whole interior of the house. After getting these prices on a few homes, you will have the ability to compare similar houses. Use the estimates from your contractor for a guideline for determining repair costs on other houses.

This are the same for the furnace, siding, painting, clean fittings, steps, patios, pavers, driveways, etc.. So you see how this is one way to get familiar with estimating the costs to renovate homes? This method will provide you a better understanding of cost estimates and can help you determine if you need to continue with the evaluation of this offer. Remember that your final repair cost figures should come from a couple of estimates from contractors prior to buying the home.

Not knowing just how much repair is necessary. Things to do and not do

This is much more of a common sense response than a text book response. You should do only what the price assortment of the house warrants rather than “over do” the renovations. That I mean, fix the existing problems without needing to reconfigure the design of the house. Yes, you may add closets, half bathrooms, picture windows along with fresh wood and tile flooring. But be careful when contemplating small additions, dormers and moving bearing walls. This is where you can encounter higher and sometimes unexpected costs that could blow your construction budget.

I’d leave those renovations into the expert investors or the authentic contractor investors. Additionally, you usually just find traders doing these type renovations in the high end homes and neighborhoods. This is because incorporating bigger room additions and altering the initial design of the house can be recouped with the higher selling prices. And even in that, you will generally only find those being performed in pricier neighborhoods.

So essentially, just fix it up well and add a good deal of inexpensive features such as goose neck kitchen taps, 2 toned bathroom faucets, nice shower heads, solid entrance door handles, decorative interior door knobs, ceiling moldings in living and dining rooms, refinished hardwood flooring, backyard windows over kitchen sinks, tile floors, and nice landscaping at the front of the home. If you can patch the walls instead of gutting the whole room, you may save a good deal of money. Spend the extra bucks in getting a fantastic drywall installer to make the patched walls look like new.

Throw in a brand new washer and dryer, fridge, new stove, microwave and always put in a dishwasher if you can. Consider it this way. How do you want the house to look if you were buying it? Well guess what? It’s probably the same thing everyone else would want. So use some frequent sense and place yourself in the buyer’s shoes. Renovate the house within your budget while making it appealing to the buyer.

Assessing our all the prices and a good profit for yourself

This is another common mistake beginners make. Not permitting for all the expenses and costs involved. Sometime we forget some important things. Sure we understand we need to include the purchase price as well as the renovation expenses. However, what about other costs and expenses like, closing costs including legal fees, title insurance, property insurance, real estate taxes, and realty transfer tax when selling the house.

And remember your basic holding costs. Holding costs are the gas and electrical you use during the time you have the home along with almost any finance charges in case you’ve any loans. Also don’t forget the real estate commission you need to deduct out of the selling price. And what about your profit? You must figure in your gain just like it had been any additional expense.

Successful Real Estate Investing syndicated from https://riverfrontresidences.wordpress.com/

[gift4sure]

I was adopted and I’m so grateful for the gift of life

(Reality in the Center) I was adopted. More correctly, I’m the poster child for that baby who, by all chances, must have been aborted by any standard of contemporary validation. Our natural mom was acutely youthful — hardly an adolescent.

Solitary.  The tension of school.  The frustration of her parents.  Goals for that next couple of years appeared to disappear.  Judgment.  Financial tension.  

On her to finish my entire life it’d have now been very easy.  Everything might have gone again to regular.  Nobody might have to understand.

But she didn’t. Didn’t that is  She finish my life.  The cause I will stay within this seat and inhale and drink my mug of tea and shut my eyes and experience appreciation towards the primary of my being is basically because a young girl permitted me to reside and develop within her.

Lighting. Colour. Audio. First breathing. Breathe. Exhale. Shout.

I had been introduced in to the globe in 10 ounces and a small 5 lbs. My rang in quickly-to-be home that was parents’.  They got the news headlines.  Wholesome.  Alive.  Blue- baby girl.  She’s reading and consuming and viewing and breathing and sensation.  She’s living.  

“Your child was created today.”

For the reason that second, a lady who resided hours absent — a lady who (by all chances) never must have fulfilled me — turned my mom.  She might quickly become my closest friend.  My area that is secure.  My protection.  My house.  My family.

Battling holes back, she appeared the screen out into what might become my yard — a floor that will be today saturated in recollections in the best times of my youth that was gold.

Red flowers were in blossom that evening.

This is the type of second that’s therefore unspeakably gorgeous that you certainly can do is be courageous enough to experience it. There’s no “orientation” within life’s college.  There isn’t any program on alter the span of all of your lifestyle and the best way to manage occasions like these; occasions which grasp your whole center.  We just stand in amazement before it.

The particulars that are small stay with us.  The scents. The daylight that was  How experienced in your skin that evening.  The tune that played about the stereo.  The wealth of encounter that is individual originates in these occasions before us.

The truth that is easy is that my birth’s conditions have developed in an enthusiasm for a lifetime along with me a gratefulness.  There’s a entire globe available that I therefore effortlessly might have missed on completely — and that I would like to contact everything.

That all is said, you’d possibly think it is surprising that I’ve really been applied the manner that is wrong by a lot of the discussion fostered by Pro Life actions.  While I understand that it’s difficult to generalize a whole motion that includes a variety of factions comprising significantly diverse hikes of existence (for example, the variations between Catholic Prolifers and luxurious Feminist Prolife teams), I’m merely likely to talk to my encounter using the Prolife motion and also the findings that I’ve shown on for that past many years.

I worry that an excessive amount of the Pro Life discussion has centered round the dialogue of privileges.  I suggest, consider it — if you’ve actually attended the Goal For A Lifetime, are you able to actually start to depend the amount of indicators that express anything across the outlines of: “everybody includes a correct to life”?  This type of attitude (although proper in its viewpoint) is rapidly rebutted by: think about the right of the girl to select?

Because when may be the topic of existence decreased to some dialogue about the bad actuality of abortion? 

We’ve been considering is not really much larger than the question.  It’s not truly a of whether abortion ought to be lawful.  That’s not what’s it’s truly about.

I’d prefer to suggest that the problem that is actual is a lot, much deeper.  It’s not about abortion.  It’s never been “about” that.  It hasn’t been about demise.

It’s “about” existence in most of its stunning difficulty, and also the several complex concerns that individuals have surrounding what it’s to become living.

What’s my life’s meaning?  What is my objective? Why am I here? How did I arrive here? What may be the stage?

I believe end and the character of existence by itself may be the issue’s center.  We like a tradition have lost view of what living is.  If we certainly understood and recognized the character and elegance of it, the clear answer towards the issue of abortion could be self evident.  It might instantly be seen that it’s.

But existence is not understood by folks.

For what it’s and thus, individuals don’t observe abortion.

And I truly believe it’s as easy (and plot) as that.

Perhaps it’s that my ownership triggers me to determine the Motion differently — but I’m only so dang thankful for my entire life, and that I believe it’s a misfortune that people like a Prolife neighborhood talk therefore small about how exactly stunning life is.  We simply discuss how unpleasant abortion is.  And that’s accurate.  It is unpleasant.  But I believe it’s time for you to change the discussion back again to existence itself — why it is actually therefore valued and holy andworth honoring.  

Yes, we ought to hope to finish abortion.  Indeed, the Goal For A Lifetime is an excellent occasion.  Yes, I believe lawmakers have to consider stands against abortion.  But don’t mistake abortion as the locus of the dialogue. It’s about lifestyle, and also the misfortune it’s that a lot of are refused the knowledge of it.

In a guide focused on the main topic of elegance, Dietrich von Hildebrand couldn’t quit herself from referring to existence like a bearer of beauty generally (1).  Life is fantastic since “many circumstances and occasions within our existence are fresh bearers of beauty…these contain particularly excellent, serious encounters, most importantly love” (2).  The elegance of existence may be the “beauty of the pleasure that’s given to us” (3).

Since love may be worth dwelling for existence may be worth providing to others.  Love is worth being experienced, and being enjoyed in by individuals.

Keep an eye out of one’s window nowadays.  Hold your family members only a little stronger.  Be mild to yourself.  Get these bouquets you admired in the supermarket.  You’re living today.  And that’s what this means to become pro life.

And that I imagine that anything so stunning may be worth referring to.

Let’s create lifestyle about… existence again.

Editor’s notice: Hannah Bruckner is a mature theology pupil (having a viewpoint small) from Toledo, Ohio. This short article initially seemed at Reality in the Center, and it is published below with agreement.

from gift4sure http://www.gift4sure.co.uk/i-was-adopted-and-im-so-grateful-for-the-gift-of-life/