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lesbiradshaw · 3 years

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Genuinely interested in what you think about Bucky being perceived as female-coded in some parts of the fandom. I read that thread years ago and agreed with because it sounded logical, but now I'm not so sure. Recently found out about the existence of this Tony Stark meta essay called "Tony Stark as the most female-coded superhero" and they use the same arguments: loss of agency, playing the damsel in distress role more often than their counterpart, etc. I can't take "fm-coded" seriously anymore

oh boy ...

idk how long this will end up but to preface whatever we do end up with: 1) im a nonbinary lesbian so my perception on what it means to be a woman and femininity in general is not going to be what a lot of other peoples is and 2) im a few months out from getting a degree in gender studies. take that for what you will. no i will not be arguing about this in my inbox.

to be frank, in my opinion, bucky being female coded is bullshit. not only is it bullshit, i have seen it used as a weapon by so many white women and terfs that even if it were true, i wouldnt care! whoever came up with the term “woobify” (which i have most often seen used in reference to how tony stark is treated) needs to tell bucky stans that they aren’t exempt. a lot of them see bucky being a victim as something that needs a continuation into every other part of his life, hence why he’s so often put into these weird dynamics with his ships and given traits he’s never displayed on screen.

i keep thinking of disclaimers to make in anticipation of people coming to my inbox crying so here’s another: if you are a woman or someone who feels a close connection to certain parts of womanhood, me saying bucky isnt woman coded in no way takes away from you identifying with him or parts of his story. that is personal. a woman’s personal relation to him is not reliant on “woman coding” as i’ve seen a lot of white women and terfs suggest, not does it strengthen the existence of such coding. coding is created within the original media, not within the fandom.

i also just realized ive been using the term woman coded rather than female coded, but i think subconsciously there is a reason for that that ties into one of my main points pretty well: the mcu stan’s definition of “female” coding relies on stereotypes, not about female roles, but about what it means in their opinion to be a woman. the issue with this is they take traits they think only exist in (cishet) women and use them to deem these (cishet) male characters as woman coded when in fact these traits are not exclusive to women and enforce weird standards upon people who are women that might not be cis or het or share these traits!

tony stark being short and bucky having long hair is not what would make them woman coded. bucky being rescued by a man while woozy is not what would make him woman coded. bucky being submissive to pierce when LITERALLY BEING BRAINWASHED is not what would make him woman coded. and perhaps a harsh wake up call: bucky’s story hinging around loss of agency issues and trauma in no way shape or form is what would make him woman coded. does it perhaps make him easier for many women to relate to? yes. but is this something exclusive to women? no. a vast majority of trauma victims are going to relate to him, and chalking up trauma to being something female makes me feel really funny.

i know exactly what thread youre talking about lmfao and its right up there on my shit list next to the childlike bucky post. theyre actually very similar now that i think about it ... but anyways. now that ive listed my woes about what doesnt make a character woman coded, what actually would! AND HERE IS WHERE WE GET INTO AN ACTUAL CASE OF WOMAN CODING! mr prequel series anakin skywalker aka my shakespearean downfall dilf. why is he seen as a valid example of woman coding? i will tell you.

the thing about woman coding is that its meant to subvert heteronormative tropes while remaining self aware of that to exploit and emphasize the change. DO YOU HEAR ME? SELF AWARE! anakin is given many of these stupid stereotypical traits i mentioned before, but they arent reliant on physical appearance at all. they are reliant on roles. padme is the levelheaded senate leader, the one with power and stability, while anakin is hotheaded and frankly a bit whimsical while he struggles for his own type of power and control. another classic example of woman coding (which i actually wrote a paper on last semester in my men and masculinities class) is heathcliff from wuthering heights, whose counterpart to his coding is cathy. both men have that whimsicality in common that contrasts heavily with how we would expect them to act. bucky does not act like them at all.

the reason that this is different from bucky and steve’s ‘damsel in distress’ argument is the self awareness i mentioned before. not to mention the weird heteronormative standards being applied as requirements for their gay relationship to be seen as valid because it “fits the narrative” but .. anyways.

anakin and heathcliff both have their subverted traits played up in a way that shows off how ridiculous the women usually written in their roles are forced to act. its tongue in cheek, because woman coding is not only about individual traits, but about how the character interacts with the story because of this as a whole. bucky is often seen as woman coded because he is put into these situations where he is “rescued” by someone that half his stans see as his love interest (steve my baby im sorry) when hes really only rescued maybe twice? at azzano and from the water when the helicopter crashed. only one of those is a real damsel in distress situation. all of the others are cases where hes fighting his own way out ????? bucky doesnt just sit around waiting for a “real man” to get off his ass as that post suggested but i digress.

anyways. mcu stans lack any self awareness that would be required even if bucky and tony were woman coded. calling them woman coded does not count as self awareness! the real self awareness comes with recognizing that woman coding doesnt actually make these characters women and it doesnt mean they forever belong in these “female” roles. mcu stans take the stereotypes they pick out at face value and use them to say “look! bucky is a bottom!” or to continue taking away his agency by ignoring all of his other actions and traits that dont fit in to this mold theyve made around the idea that he needs a man to save him or boss him around. his story as a whole is the only thing that would make him woman coded and seeing as there is no self awareness of this shown, no attempts to subvert, he displays little to no traditionally feminine traits, and loss of agency on its own is not something that only applies to women ...

in short: in my opinion, bucky is not woman coded. mcu stans just like rolling with stereotypes that rely around cis bodies and straight relationships. the end.

#oh also woman coding does not make a mape character trans lmfaoooooo #thats frankly just insulting #trans men are not men with feminine traits please for the love of god shut up #anyways this is my opinion and you dont have to agree but cis people arent allowed to argue with me

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tigerdrop · 4 years

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hey i just wanna say the long posts genuinely make my day. also can you talk more about gordon freeman character because the way you write him makes me quake in my gay little boots

i would love to talk about gordon freeman. thank u for the opportunity

the first thing i need to communicate about gordon is that this dude sucks. and i say this in the fondest way possible. he is a bitch from the moment he drops into the world until the moment he goes out. if you dont believe me, give it another watch! gordons mouthy and rude for no real reason, at least so far as “being a regular dude on his way into work” goes, and this dude goes around calling his coworkers names with zero provocation. (of course, we all know that the reason is because its a funny guy improv stream that borrows a bit from freemans mind, but im talkin from a character sense.)

but my argument isnt just that gordon freeman sucks. its that he sucks in a very specific way that i find insanely endearing. i love this dude. i love to hate him. hes awful in a very mundane sense - weve all known a guy like this, at least if youve spent too much time online - and its cathartic to watch him suffer because of it.

gordons a smart guy. as written, hes gotta be - hes a recent MIT grad, on his way to work at a top-secret research facility to do weird shit with crystals and theoretical physics. but the thing about smart guys is that theyre often......selectively intelligent. we can see this in the way that he has a hard time navigating his surroundings, and needs the science crew to guide him through it and keep him alive.

this is one of those things that is a natural consequence of somebody going through the game for the first time, but that i am interpreting as “gordon is kind of stupid sometimes”. its uncharitable but its not like he doesnt deserve it. he likes to boss around the crew as if he knows what hes doing, when he often very much does not, and is fond of demeaning their intelligence. hes real bad about this with tommy in particular, treating him like hes a kid whos playing at being a scientist when tommy is actually a decade older than him. all i am saying is that gordon ought to stay humble. hes awful cocky when he perceives himself as better than others.

which, i think, tracks with how cocky he gets when he gives up on the whole “well-meaning citizen” thing and just unloads bullets into people. he puts up a front of being a Nice Guy, you know, just some dude caught in a bad situation who doesnt like seeing his companions obliterate every NPC they come across, but that doesnt stop him from cackling like a fucking madman and mowing down aliens (and soldiers) every once in awhile. when he stops seeing himself as helpless and starts seeing himself as the one in control, the gloves come off. he gets mean. and i think thats very sexy of him

this, among other things, is why i am insistent that gordon freeman is a control freak. he desperately wants to be in control of the situation at all times, shepherding around the science crew primarily by bitching at them, but its of limited success. its futile. sisyphean. tommy, coomer, bubby, and benrey exist almost to torment him with exactly the thing that would make him suffer the most: a gaggle of people running around causing problems for him, but he cant go anywhere without them b/c hes reliant on them to make it out alive.

its perpetual suffering, and its cathartic to watch. and funny, too. and if youre a little weirdo like me, its very, very enjoyable. how twisted up he gets when nobodys listening to him! how sweaty and frazzled he must look. its cute, and it also makes me want to reach through the screen and shake him and tell him to just be a little nicer. he wants control but he doesnt know how to attain it, he doesnt know how to play nice like a real leader. i think its a neat contrast to gordon freeman as we know him in HL2, where he literally is the leader of the resistance and has to live up to it. this is gordon freeman but if he was moe through helplessness.

“helpless” is, i think, a great way to describe him. a core bit of imagery in half life is this sense of railroadedness and helplessness, with gordon freeman being put into play like a chess piece and having no choice but to move forward. and this iteration of gordon leans into that by being totally dependent on the science crew in order to make progress and Not Die. and hes also subject to the whims of benrey, local eldritch weirdo who has basically made it his life mission to fuck with gordon.

gordons anxieties dont help with that. if he wasnt so fun to stress out and fuck with, the science crew probably wouldnt do it so much! too bad for him that they like fucking with him so much that he was driven into a panic attack (multiple times, even, depending on your interpretation). hes got that real neurotic mindset. always worrying about shit that could go wrong, and attempting to exert control over his surroundings in an effort to control the anxiety.

IMO the real way to nail the Neurotic Gordon Freeman Experience is to combine the ever-present anxiety with his pervasive sense of self-loathing. he openly states that he has no friends and nobody seems to like him, and to that, i really gotta say, i wonder why. he doesnt really seem to factor in that hes kind of a bitch, and has way too high an estimation of his own intelligence relative to everybody elses. its really one of the worst ways to be: aware that people dont like you, but unaware of exactly why. if he was like, 10% nicer, he probably wouldnt have had half as many issues getting through black mesa, but also, its funny to see him squawking his way through the game. so, you know.

its stuff like that that makes me headcanon him as a dude with low self-esteem in general. convinced that hes not likable, not attractive, out of his element......impostor syndrome, except that theres some truth to it. this is a guy who truly does not realize how good he has it: he really is just an average shitty dude, and yet, somehow, benrey took a shine to him. some poor motherfucker out there actually likes him and wants to suck his dick. thats dedication

also, i keep bringing up “repression” when i talk about gordon. and hopefully, what ive been talking about helps explain why. he has a strong desire to be a regular dude, not just murdering his way through black mesa, but if hes pushed hard enough he leans into it. gets bossy. picks up a cigar off a dead soldier and takes a long drag, before smacking forzen around with a pistol and ordering him around. gordon freeman is a regular, kind of anxious guy who likes competitive swimming and streaming on justin.tv and making anime references, and he is also a guy who takes a filthy pleasure in making a trained soldier his bitch. and i didnt make up any of this shit - this is purestrain canon, baby. this is a guy with problems

to me, this screams the kind of guy who represses a lot of shit b/c he doesnt feel like its morally decent. you run into this guy a lot online: the wokeboy, the online leftist, the guy who spends too much time on social media websites. (like reddit. i think he would actively use reddit and he would never get any appreciable amount of karma but he never stops posting. its sisyphean! cathartic.) from the way he talks about “bootboys”, i think it tracks. he knows about imperialism, he knows about feminism, but at the end of the day hes your average american white dude who struggles with internalizing it.

a lot of those dudes struggle with sex and gender issues. (dont we all.) when youre trying to be a Good Person(tm), you spend a lot of time thinking about your own relationship to sex and kink and all that shit. and i maintain that a too-online dude who buries a lot of his control freak tendencies would also try to bury a lot of weird sexual shit in an attempt to seem Normal and Well-Adjusted and not like a little freak. i justify this by the sheer number of times gordon blurts out weird sex shit as a joke. there are only two outcomes to making that many piss jokes: either youre secretly a piss guy, or you lathe-of-heaven yourself into becoming one. i will stand by this

ive talked a lot about why this dude sucks. now, let me talk to you about what makes gordon so much fun to write. first things first: hes funny! a subjective evaluation, yeah, but both in- and out-of-character, hes aiming to be funny. and being the straight man to everybody else plays into that whole “helplessness” thing.

secondly: underneath it all, there is a good dude under there. gordon worries when his companions get hurt, he tries to clean them off and patch them up, and hes got his lil leftist heart in the right place. you could even read a lot of his bossy, bitchy demeanor as him wanting to make sure everyone gets out okay and doesnt hurt themselves. when it comes to animals and anti-imperialist sentiment, gordons a pretty good guy.

hes the kind of guy who would probably see a dog on the street and get excited and play with it, but would get really prickly about the correct way to put dishes in the dishwasher. control freak tendencies.

finally, subjecting such a miserable, tormented guy to even more psychological anguish is really, really fun. you feel a little bad for him, but he kind of deserves it. so many problems he goes through are purely of his own making, and if gordon would just relax and quit trying to hard to maintain control - of himself, of the people around him - and own up to having Problems and Issues, he would be a happier guy. but thats why its fun to bend him until he breaks. being a little control freak myself, putting gordon freeman thru psychosexual torment is cathartic.

when it comes to writing his thought processes, the fact that he is canonically some kind of psychotic (yes, i am boldly claiming this. suck me) and i am also canonically some kind of psychotic makes it easier to write what i think his thought processes are. i just give him my brain issues of “getting lost in thought” and “overthinking fucking everything”. a touch of paranoia helps. even if i dont explicitly label him as schizophrenic please know that i am writing him as a paranoid little nutcase at all times because, uh, you write what you know.

paranoid. anxious. of the mindset that everyones out to get him (which isnt helpful when everyone is out to get him). repressed and deeply Not Normal but trying so very fucking hard to be normal and well-adjusted. a control freak with sadistic tendencies who also really, really likes getting bullied by his best frenemy. a hapless little nerd who sounds really cute when his voice starts to break from nerves. and, most importantly, a dumb jock. do not ever forget this.

thats gordon freeman, babey. hope that helps

#asky #careposting

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waltrp · 4 years

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FOR THE HONOR OF GREYSKULL

BIDDI BOPPI BOOP A SPECIAL MESSAGE ADMIN ZULEMA: when I tell you I screamed seeing this let me tell you i screamed, Audrey. Adora is a character I adore to no end. Like you i’m so PUMPED to have season 5 drop this week and to be blessed with an adora as well??? this is indeed what dreams are made of. You captured her beautifully ! I’m so excited to have this warrior here and see what you do with her ! Please refer to THIS PAGE for your next tasks. We can’t wait to roleplay with you. Welcome to our Ohana xx.

It’s a pleasure to meet you…

Hi i’m audrey im 21 and im JST (GMT+8/9) I prefer she/her pronouns. my hobbies are cosplaying/swimming and modelling. my only main trigger is that i’m recovering from an eating disorder and whilst i don’t need anything tagged, i’d appreciate if discussions of eating and exercising of extreme varieties as well as diets and stuff to not be talked abt

Are you positive you can be active?

i am stuck inside all day i am going numb i am waiting for she-ra season 5 to drop on friday and i’m so … so hype

How did you stumble upon Walt?

i accidentally saw one of ur confessions post in a canon tag and i got interested and decided to check you guys out.

Did you read the rules?

yes !

Are you sure?

RFP

Character you want?

Adora from she-ra !

Please describe the character for us

Adora is someone who is having to take the world completely in her stride. She’s had her entire world pulled out from underneath her, and not only can she not fly, but she’s been heralded as someone who’s supposed to be leading others. Whilst she is falling.

She acts completely without thinking, her feet are stepping on the tiles of floors before they’ve even been constructed. I believe part of her headstrong nature is her inability to face up to her past, and so instead, is trying to blaze a future forward.

She’s absolutely having to rely on other people for emotional support, she acts strong and confident. Because she is, but she’s reliant on other people to affirm that for her – if people start to doubt that she’s a good person, she starts to doubt herself, and it’s an awful awful spiral in which only manifests in the most stupidest of ways, acting out to prove everyone wrong. It’s a chip on her shoulder, & her competitive nature trying to desperately prove her worth in a world she had worked so long to destroyed.

in a tl;dr, she’s a headstrong bull that acts to try and make others happy even when it means doing stupid, dumb things to try and accomplish that/prove herself.

Second character choice

Not at the moment no!

It’s time to see that sample para.

Lost in the woods. Lost in the woods. Lost in the woods in the middle of the forest with nothing but a stupid sword. Words rang through adora’s mind like a carousel ride, annoying and completed with those fairground tunes that get stuck in your head for the next five days. Which would only make sense seeing as she had first ridden one four days ago. Only one more day. She hoped, and partially assumed. Moreover, she hoped she would be out of said forest before it did leave her head. Which would be both a blessing and a curse.

Fingers grasped the hilt of sword in her hand – thumb rubbing the length of her index finger up and down just trying to stem off the clawing nerves. Go and practise, Adora, you’ll never be the hero you need to be if you sit around all day and go to carousels, she humphed at her own internal dialogue. Chest heaving, the forceful expulsion of air pushing the hanging blonde fringe off of her face.

& Adora keeps on walking, the steady pace of heavy boots now acting as the percussions to her mental discussion with herself – the occasional swing of her sword to push apart low hanging branches. She doesn’t feel like much of a hero now. She hasn’t felt like one in a while, and it is clawing at her, like the last name she carries it is a dark claw lingering over her left shoulder. She knows the truth now, at least – she thinks she knows the truth ? She knows what is right now, but is it really right ? All the least she knows is that she was lied to, brought up and spoon fed on them but at the same time. She doesn’t know what she was being lied to about. God. She was so sick of this mental dialogue. Her sword lashed out at the crawling thickets, the blade swiping cleanly through the greenery – continuing through the next two tree trunks swiftly .

“oh no – oh no, no no, no – ”

adora quickly muttered – blue eyes glanced quickly around, as if to check that no one else saw her slip up. & then she remembered her predicament. Lost. Yes, that’s the word. Sure, was perfuma going to have a rage if she ever found out the crime against all vegetation Adora had just committed ? Most likely! Raising the sword, she stared at the blue gem of it’s centrepiece. She considered her reflection for a second, the slightly bevelled version of herself looking back at her. She paused, tilting her head slightly side to side before narrowing blue into a steely gaze. “We’re keeping this little escapade between you and me – capice? ” Was she talking to herself? Or to the sword? No one else was here, so perhaps it didn’t quite matter who, or what, she was talking to.

Steady footsteps brought her back to her original song, one that she could only imagine gracelyn or boe singing along with her if they were here too. Perhaps they’d add a melody, or another verse to lament Adora’s lack of directional capabilities. That’d be nice, Adora’s thought broke the stream of the song. & yet, she couldn’t help but smile anyway at the thought of her friends.She picked up the pace of her feet by a meter, beaming on her way out of the dense shrubbery, content, if just for the moment, with her life choices.

Anything else, love?

I hope the para is long enough? I know you said three but aha i guess you can cut a block of text anyway you want and call it three paras !

#waaccept #accept #disney rp #bio rp #rp #rpg #roleplay #animation rp #city rp #magic rp #school rp #university rp

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staliasjeronica · 6 years

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Riverdale 3.01 Thoughts *spoilers*

- the kids... are JUNIORS? Uh okay.

- VERONICA. MY LOVE. MY BABY. IN A POP’S OUTFIT!!!

- still iffy about Betty being in law... like where’d it come from? Her likeness of it? It’s probably just because of Archie’s trial and the fact that she constantly breaks the law, but still... it seemed to come out of nowhere

- In the narration he talked about Archie, Betty, and Veronica being the “best friends you’ll ever have” and I’m just stating that that means that Jeronica are officially best friends! Y E S BITCH!

- did this bitch seriously just call Nick St. Claire... INNOCENT? And brought up the fact that he pulled a gun on Sweet Pea? I’ve always wanted that confrontation but NOT LIKE THIS.

- MARY ANDREWS! A fucking legend! Her speech was incredible, too. Like, if I was a Riverdale resident and didn’t know Archie, I would definitely believe that he was innocent. But of course something stupid like Archie being a dumbass (love you though, Arch) is going to fuck everything up 🙄🙄🙄

- JOSIE AND KEVIN STANDING SIDE BY SIDE IS ALL I NEEDED!!! I can’t wait to see more of them as step siblings and shit. Maybe she can convince Kevin not to get with Moose lmao I hate him so fucking much

- HIRAM YOU DO NOT GET TO FUCKING TALK TO ARCHIE YOU LITTLE BITCH

- I’VE SEEN SPOILERS SO I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE FRED PUNCH A BITCH

- As amazing as that was though... THAT WOULDN’T HELP ARCHIE’S CASE IT WOULD MAKE IT WORSE!!!

- lmao Hiram gets angry and pushes the guy who kept him from getting back at Fred as if he didn’t start it what a bitch

- dilton and Ben... are really gonna die aren’t they. This is a Midge situation— bring them back to kill them wow... also why does Dilton look like he could be Sweet Pea’s younger brother...

- so both Veronica and Jughead got chocolate shakes. I’m not saying they’re soulmates... but they’re soulmates and I don’t care what Camila says about Jeronica... they’re meant to be together oops

- CHERYL MY BISEXUAL/LESBIAN QUEEN!!!! MAKING HER FUCKING ENTRANCE!

- but it’s so sad that she made the effort to invite all of them to her party but they couldn’t make an exception to couples weekend... like I know it helped Cheryl get with Toni but that’s just... sad.

- ALSO CHERY’S JACKET IM WHEEZING CALL AN AMBULANCE

- of course Choni had three months of development but we won’t see it 🙃🙃🙃

- can’t really hear what Alice and Polly are really saying... but I definitely heard Alice say “ritual” and you never hear that word unless you’re in a cult wake the fuck up alice you can’t be more fucked up than Betty and Polly you need to help save them

- Dr. Glass... therapist? Mmhm but wouldn’t they tell her that she’s too reliant and co-dependent on Jughead and hopefully break them up? I call bullshit on this therapist

- BARCHIE + FRED WORKING ON A CAR TOGEHER WOW WE LOVE A FUTURE ENDGAME BEING HOT ASS MECHANICS TOGETHER WITH HER FUTURE FAMILY

- “we did it dad” the way he said this... might have made me choke... it was so happy and excited, like a kid. I’m NOT CRYING OKAY

- “just in time” *Fred immediately avoids eye contact with Archie before stating he’s going back into the house* BITCH HE’S GOING IN THERE TO CRY HUH LIKE HE’S THINKING ABOUT HIS SON GOING TO JAIL THIS IS HORRIBLE.

- “the jury is still deliberating, you don’t need to put your house in order” Betty... it’s called JUST IN CASE. Plus it would ease his mind so... shut up lmao

- THE TEARS IN RONNIE’S EYES AS SHE’S CONFRONTING HER FATHER BBY NOOOO

- ALSO SHE HAS TO LIVE UNDER THE SAME ROOF AS HIM IM SO SORRY SWEETIE GO LIVE WITH JUG OR MOVE IN WITH FRED! She doesn’t deserve this you bitch ass Hiram

- also I’m sad that Hiram doesn’t have a bruise from Fred punching him

- I’ll say it until I die but I’m just gonna say it now: HIRAM IS A BITCH ASS HOE! He literally destroyed Archie’s life and devastated his daughter... all for a fucking P R I S O N

- SWEET PEA AND FANGS HAVE OFFICIALLY BLESSED MY SCREENS YAY. Also Fangs your bisexual ass is showing with that extremely open shirt... and Sweet Pea... you fucking too lmao I love Swangs (no hate but I’m also kinda here for Swosie even though it’s just a fling)

- it’s... so annoying... that Hiram is with the Ghoulies, yet makes out the Serpents to be the worst. Like Hiram your bought gang members are cannibals (apparently), and are the ACTUAL gang that sells and distributes Jingle Jangle soooo wtf

- Jug... you can’t send Fangs without backup. I REPEAT YOU CANNOT SEND FANGS WITHOUT SOME BACKUP! He got shot once and I swear if he’s hurt again I’m going to end you. I only care about certain people: Sweet Pea, Fangs, Cheryl, Toni, Veronica, and Archie... so if you get one of them hurt you’re dead to me

- we all been knew that Archie’s tattoo was fake but LOOK AT FP IN GLASSES I’M

- I love Betty with these outfits. They’re really nice tbh

- Alice... you can’t burn SOMEONE ELSE’S JOURNAL! Also yeah it’s filled with negative shit but that’s why it’s written in journals... to vent and get it over with.

- also if you have to reference someone (Edgar) every sentence you know you’re probably too reliant on them

- although what Alice says about sitting still and shit is kinda true I guess. Betty doesn’t need to be constantly figuring shit out but I’ll just pretend I never agreed with the woman in a fucking cult

- is Polly gonna tell her about her Betty’s “darkness” because PLEASE(or the webcamming). When Alice gets better she can call Betty out on her shit.

- Cheryl’s a queen, I love her place, but Moose is here so uhhhh ew.

- SWOSIE BITCHES!!!! I saw gifs of it and I love it

- “not even a tall, cool drink of sweet water like you...” as she STROKES HIS FUCKING CHEST I’M

- but he was so happy and cute “I can’t wait to see you in the hallways”

- BITCH SWEET PEA IS A ROMANTIC WHAT

- the way he leans back into the kiss is everything, and the way he watches her leave I’m star struck goodbye

- you give me Swosie just to immediately go to Mevin? You couldn’t have gone to another couple at least? Don’t ruin the moment ugh

- Kevin... is proposing... a sex pact? Wtf? But Moose looks so uncomfortable, which I find actually pretty sad. Kevin wants someone who’s out, who isn’t afraid to be with him in public and that person isn’t Moose. He was really happy with Joaquin and now that he knows why Joaquin was slightly distant there’ll be no secrets between them so... bring Joaquin back so Joavin can rise again you cowards! Moose needs to find himself, but he shouldn’t bring Kevin with him. He needs to go through this by himself.

- mmhm Reggie not giving a damn about Archie’s (fake) Serpent tattoo... I want to see Reggie apologize to the Serpents (and also find out that Sweet Pea is his brother oops)

- oh Bc Archie asks Reggie’s cool with the Serpents. I DEFINITELY need an apology right fucking now, Mantle.

- “whatcha thinking bout, babe?” BABE. B A B E. BABE BABE BABE BABE BABE BABE BABE

- I have subtitles on and it says “Tee-Tee” NO ITS T-T (or just TT)

- poor Cheryl 😭😭😭

- but also why the fuck is there a couch outside by the pool lmao

- Veronica is constantly about to cry and I’m... with her. I’m gonna cry too STAWP

- YAS JOSIE!!!!

- dilton... we were all excited to see you again but now you’re just being a creepy weirdo so...

- FANGS MY BBY

- UMMMMMM LEAVE HOTDOG ALONE

- lmao Betty seems so out of place at this little Serpent meeting... she really does not belong there

- “the Serpent Queen is a Warrior queen” the next fucking sentence better be Toni or Sweet Pea shutting her the fuck down. If she was a “Serpent Queen” she would ACTUALLY TRULY care about the Serpents instead of joining so she can stay closer to Jughead and shit

- Sweet Pea slightly shook his head in the background so I’m just gonna... pretend he told Betty to shut the fuck up

- Betty’s gonna fuck everything up and then blame it on someone else isn’t she

- Awww Archie overhearing his parents talking about Archie and the trial. “Even I couldn’t stop Hiram Lodge from getting his claws into our son” STAWP 😭😭😭

- Archie thinks that he deserves this? Bitch BETTY is the one who’s done actual (okay well the worst crimes of the group) crimes but her bitch ass isn’t going to jail! She never gets any repurcussions. If anyone deserves going to jail it’s Betty

- Sheriff Minetta... no one misses you

- Betty has her own Serpent jacket... I mean thanks I hate it but I also hate to admit that she looks actually good in it. Still doesn’t deserve to be a Serpent she’s done nothing for them except bone their “leader”

- lmao Cheryl is strong af pushing Betty back into the car.

- Jughead... do you seriously think they’re going to let you leave with Hot Dog? Lmao maybe you do deserve Betty you two are both idiots

- YASSS CHERYL FUCK MALACHAI UPPPPP

- this weird dream of Archie’s was pretty cool. I was confused for a second but still it was really awesome

- of course the one thing Betty ACTUALLY needs and she lies about it. Also, add forging prescriptions to her list of criminal offenses. Can you just once write Betty to be likable? When she comforted Veronica was great (although still need an apology from her) but that Serpent queen line... omfg no

- although they’re a part of a fucking cult Polly is making some great points.

- YOUNGBLOOD BY 5SOS!!

- So... despite being invited by Cheryl to her party they don’t invite her or anyone else to the fucking water hole place? Wtf

- “last one in gets a sticky maple!” That’s... kind of rude considering what Chuck did to Veronica. Speaking of where is Chuck? Did they start that redemption ark for NOTHING? Also the statement is worse when V is the last to jump in...

- wow look at Varchie being the hottest couple (there. The hottest couple is obviously Choni)

- Jughead you’re not supposed to burn the marshmallows

- JUGHEAD YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL ARCHIE TO MAKE A RUN FOR IT YOU STUPID FUCK

- YES BETTY! GET SOME FUCKING HELP

- If Jughead supports this, they will finally being going in a good direction? For once? Like if you’re going to force this disgusting ship on us at least make them healthy and tolerable

- I hate them but the beanie scene was cute. Probably because Cole actually improvised that

- When Varchie’s scene was still much better, hotter, and aesthetic than Betty and Jughead’s lmao thank you Riverdale

- why do they make Varchie cuter when they’re going to end them? This is bullshit

- hey maybe if they make Betty and Jughead cuter (cause let’s be honest they’ve had like two cute scenes that I’ll admit to lol) they’ll end their relationship too

- VEGAS

- what the fuck dilton lol

- “we can talk about this when I get back” wow that’s a surefire way to make sure that Dilton dies

- like I said Archie does something stupid and ruins EVERYTHING.

- Archie... if you’re FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE no one FUCKING cares that they’d have to go through this shit again. I love you but you’re stupid as fuck

- Veronica 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

- ARCHIE’S LAST WORDS WILL BE “I love you, Veronica” IM SOBBING

- Veronica’s look to Hiram is lethal and I’m here for it.

- Honestly... if they somehow manage to make this about Betty I’ll scream because we all know Betty has to be interwoven into every plot

- DADS OF RIVERDALE FUCK YEAH

- ALL OF THEM WORKING TOGETHER? YES BITCH

- AND VERONICA STILL HAS TO GO HOME WITH HIRAM?

- honestly though why didn’t they make her testify awhile ago? They said it was too late but her statement would help? She LIVES with the man, she could easily tell them about how much of a master manipulator he is like... what the fuck

- literally Veronica just wear a wire around Hiram so you can implicate him. He legit just told you that he did all of this to get back at you for choosing him over blood (also wow so healthy)

- “you don’t have a daughter anymore” we love and stan Veronica

- so... Jug shouldn’t have gone alone but uhh Dilton is fucking dead

- um what the fuck is with the babies... and also why is Betty convulsing? Probably gonna be blamed on the supernatural instead of her Adderral. (Also I just reached the limit of this holy fuck lmao)

#Riverdale #Riverdale Spoilers #Riverdale Thoughts #Riverdale Undefined #Riverdale 3.01 #Anti Bughead #Varchie #Swosie #Sweet Pea #Josie McCoy #anti betty cooper #South Side Serpents #Jughead Jones #Veronica Lodge #Fangs Fogarty #Falice

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libvrtines · 5 years

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hewwo i’m felix ( 20 , he / him , gmt ) and i just realised my fc has no mf resources that aren’ t from him as a fetus and will therefore b spendin approximately all my free hrs cranking out gif icons , so lets get it * pained laughter * ! this is my boy.. except he’s not my boy and i take no credit for who he is as a person because he’s the personification of a flaming dumpster fire , xu yuxian . his pinterest board is here , i don’t have a full amazing wc page but i do have some wc’s beneath.. so if u jus wanna stick around for that i won’t blame u bc otherwise this is just a Wreck . ( i literally just had to search up my muses name bcs i forgot it but i know he’s a scorpio at least so if that is any indication of how this is gonna be then yeah . this is gonna be the Worst ) . drop a heart if you would like to plot , or just add me up on d*scord no anime pls im christian#1950 for quicker messages ! TW : mentions of drugs , violence , death , blood , manipulation .

scanning XU YUXIAN, they are TWENTY FOUR year old and read as CUNNING but DECEITFUL, which explains why they are referred to as the VARMINT. before virtual reality HE was IMPRISONED FOR THE DISTRIBUTION OF DRUGS and living in QUINGDAO, CHINA. they’ve been said to look incredibly similar to HUANG ZITAO, but they’ve never seen it. in this new virtual world, they plan on DOING ALL OF THE CRAZY SHIT HE'S ALWAYS WANTED TO and hope to NEVER GO BACK to reality.

* BACKGROUND !

tl ; dr . “ the best way to solve a problem is just to eliminate it . " in thick accented mandarin. the roar of a bike kicked to life with exhaust pouring out of the tailpipe and the low graveled hum as it idles way past midnight. charcoal ashes and heavy-lidded eyes. teeth stained red from marlboro's and split, bloody lips. baseball bats through car windows, the scrape of a bic as it lights. the smell of cigarettes burned deep into veins. the drag of a knife light across a throat. knuckles blooming purple pressed into nose bridges, a smile with a pair of pliers knocking against porcelain teeth. THIS vine.

so as formerly stated this is yuxian, the worser half of the xu siblings. disruptive and dangerously reactive to any sort of aggression, he's adapted to a reality reliant on violence and force over patience and rationale. he's an overall shitty guy, with some even shittier habits. street smart and instinctive, his world works in harsh turns and bared knuckled fists.

dropped out of high-school.. was one of those ‘lunch is my fav class’ kids except he got dragged 2 school by the ear when he was younger and then people just. stopped giving a fuck !

so he did what most boys do in big towns with no proper parental guidance: raised a little hell, drank a lot of alcohol when his liver was barely formed, fixed bikes and engines, and beat up a few rich kids who looked @ him the wrong way. speaks like every mf villain in an anime ever. over-enunciates vowels and suffocates his consonants. acts like the stray he p much is w parents as shitty as his.

the xu family had earned themselves a nasty reputation in the community they lived in. they're tough, they're intimidating. they do things their way. xu’s speak with their fists and their knives and their brass knuckles and their bats, not known for thinking out their actions before acting out. violent. horrible. the worst People™.

yuxian’s parents owned and operated a dim-lit, greasy restaurant in the heart of their community, once used to deepen the family's pockets as they sold some choice off-menu items, they were offered a deal by a rich family that bought up their block when yuxian was around 15, selling their enhanced drugs imported from europe behind the grime-coated counter. yuxian saw the $$$ and didn’t think abt how risky it would b, or that they’d be the ones caught red handed if they were ever raided. being able to label himself as a drug dealer just made his reputation in the community go up.. and he was livin la vida loca

along with working as a drug-runner, he liked to fancy himself as something of a debt collector, making sure to "follow up" with anyone who hopes to evade payment to the family. weapons of choice include a baseball bat to the kneecaps and automatic knives. has he actually hurt anybody ?? absolutely Not. he a puthy ass bitch... but don’t say that to his face unless u wanna end up like that ‘what are u gonna do? stab me? guy who then.. got stabbed

basically yuxian will do whatever it takes to get what he wants and to survive. he never considers himself a bad guy; he considers herself bold where others find him brash. he thinks that he's tough where he's really just a brute. he's never a bully, it's never unjustified, but if he ever is he doesn’t think much of it bc he’s never gonna change , ygm ??

he ended up in prison when he started selling drugs to the rich family’s only son, who lbr, became quite a decent friend to yuxian. the son in question had a bad side - effect to the dodgy drugs they were dealing and died of cardiovascular complications. worst thing is that the last memory xian has of the world before virtual reality is waiting for his parents or siblings to come visit him at but being stood up. next thing he knows he’s in a world where his freedom hasn’t been taken from him and he can. he’s Extremely Bitter, and very Chaotic, my guys. so watch out

* PERSONALITY !

honestly and truly, at the end of the day, yuxian is not a good friend to have. xian is not friendly. he will never say the thing you want to hear as opposed to how he is feeling, he'll never sugarcoat anything, he'll never be a listening ear. encouragement and support don't exist here. he is fickle and fair-weathered and will use and use and use until there's nothing left to give.

self-serving and self-invested to his core, he cares so little it's essentially nonexistent for anyone other than himself. not even his family, given the circumstances. he is opinionated and reactive. volatile. if someone is looking for an influence in their life that will give no fucks and encourage even the smallest whispers of an impulse, yuxian is The One™.

every bad influence every mother's warned about, everything you know you should say no to: that's her. he has nothing to lose and lives his life accordingly. those in his periphery, he encourages to do the same. respect and admiration are not easily earned. he needs to be impressed. the grander the debauchery, the more points earned. but of course, don't try too hard.. bc that’s corny and he can sniff someone simply trying to impress from a mile away.

still, to those that he's aligned himself with and chosen to befriend – xian can be loyal the way a snake is to a pack. his trigger-haired temper and baseline defensiveness makes him a good rabid junkyard dog to have in any corner. loyalty is mostly reserved for those who benefit him or to those who serve his best interest – contrary to popular belief, he's not entirely stupid. but definitely has been called a bimbo a minimum of five times in his life.

simply put, he's a thug. his family has terrorised residents and he hasn't fallen too far from the tree, reaping the benefits of everyone's worst expectations. he's vindictive, manipulative, short-tempered and callous. he'll go to extreme lengths – which often include coercion via intimidation or violence – to get what he wants. he has little regard for other peoples' safety, well-being, or feelings. he lives to ruin lives; not in that fuckboy-esque i'm-going-to-steal-your-gf-and-ruin-your-social-life kind of petty bullshit. he IS a fuckboy but that’s besides the point..

every action is based on gut-impulse, acting purely out of unfettered emotion without thinking of what the consequences might be down the line. just pls hate him bc he really deserves it.

speaking of Love.. with a reputation that followed him from a few years into high school for being tht guy who makes u feel good abt urself then leaves u on read, he's learned to embrace it and accept that people think he just can’t commit. xian is not good in relationships, he doesn't quite know how to show affection in a healthy way. he gets possessive and jealous and easily poisons everything from the inside while trying to sort out the subconscious overbearing fear of this person realising how shit he is or actually realising they’re worth more than his half-assed attempts at affection. so instead he keeps it at an arm's distance before it gets that far.

* WANTED CONNECTIONS !

bad influence ( somebody he is corrupting essentially ) friends who like to crash parties / slum around bars perhaps people who he knows from before and were aware of his ugly reputation ?? idk this is gonna be an area only open to a few but if they ever lived nearby or in the city where he did then it’s a possibility ! friends who like to smoke weed behind dumpsters people who he can con someone who tries to see the good in him but beneath the dirt there’s just more Dirt enemies / frenemies violent low-lives who he can connect 2 on an emotional and physical level fwb / one-night stands / some sort of violent dislike in personality which in turn results in sexual tension ?

#virtualintro #why do i never have tags why am i like this #i think the last time i had fully functioning rp tags was like 2014. no lie

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patriotsnet · 3 years

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Are Republicans Trying To Cut Social Security

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/are-republicans-trying-to-cut-social-security/

Are Republicans Trying To Cut Social Security

The Republican Record On Social Security

Huff Post Reporter: Biden’s documented history of trying to cut social security

1935: Almost all Republicans in Congress oppose the creation of Social Security.

1939: 75 percent of Republicans in Senate try to kill legislation providing Social Security benefits to dependents and survivors as well as retired workers.

1950: 79 percent of House and 89 percent of Senate Republicans vote against disability insurance to defeat it.

1956: 86 percent of Republicans in Senate oppose disability insurance; program approved nonetheless.

1964: Republican presidential candidate Barry Goldwater and future president Ronald Reagan both suggest that Social Security be made voluntary.

1965: 93 percent of Republicans in House and 62 percent in Senate vote to kill Medicare.

1977: 58 percent of Senate votes against amendment to provide semiannual increases.

1977: 88 percent of Republicans in House and 63 percent in Senate vote against an increase in Social Security payroll tax needed to keep the system solvent.

1981: President Reagan proposes $35 billion in Social Security cuts over the next 5 years. The cuts would have included the elimination of student benefits, lump-sum death benefits, and a retroactive elimination of the $122 minimum benefit for three million recipients.

1981: Reagan administration begins a wholesale review of the Social Security Disability rolls, resulting in over 560,000 eligibility investigations in 1982 360,000 more than the year before. Ultimately, at least 106,000 families were removed from the rolls.

Republicans Aren’t Going To Take Away Social Security

Without beating around the bush, the Republican Party is often associated as being the party of the well-to-do — and the rich typically aren’t reliant in any way on Social Security income. There’s, therefore, been a long-running belief that Republicans would aim to do away with Social Security sometime in the future. This is nothing more than another in a long line of pervasive Social Security myths.

Both Democrat and Republican lawmakers on Capitol Hill have an understanding of the importance that Social Security plays in keeping some 22 million people currently receiving benefits above the federal poverty line. Though both parties may have suggested tweaking how revenue is generated for the program, neither party would remove or replace any of the three funding sources: the payroll tax on earned income, the taxation of benefits, and interest income on the program’s asset reserves.

In other words, no Republican is going to advocate scraping Social Security. And even if they did, the idea would have no chance of gaining traction in Congress.

The Average Retired Worker Benefit Could Be Cut By More Than $4300 In Less Than 15 Years

The good news, if there’s a silver lining to pull out of this mess for seniors and future retirees, is that Social Security won’t be bankrupt, even if Congress fails to act. Two of Social Security’s three sources of funding — the 12.4% payroll tax on earned income and the taxation of benefits — are recurring sources of revenue. As long as the American public continues to work, money will be flowing into the Social Security program for disbursement to eligible beneficiaries.

On the other hand, no money left in asset reserves would mean that the existing payout schedule, inclusive of cost-of-living adjustments, would no longer be sustainable. Translation: Benefit cuts would be necessary to maintain Social Security’s solvency for decades to come.

According to the latest Trustees report, the Old-Age and Survivors Insurance Trust would only be able to pay 76% of scheduled benefits once its coffers are cleaned out. Put another way, it means retired workers and survivors could face an across-the-board benefit cut of 24% by 2035.

Now, think about this for a moment. In May 2020, the Social Security Administration published data showing that the average retired worker was bringing home $1,512.63 a month. That’s $18,151.56 a year for the typical retiree. A 24% benefit cut would, in May 2020 dollars, equate to a benefit cut of $4,356 a year. That’s terrifying when you consider that 62% of retired workers rely on their monthly payout to account for at least half of their income.

Don’t Miss: Democrats More Educated Than Republicans

The Average Retired Worker Could Be Taking Home A Lot Less From Social Security In 15 Years

This has been a challenging year in so many respects for the American public. The COVID-19 pandemic has completely changed the way we interact with one another, and its displaced more than 20 million workers. If youre an investor, you were also taken on a wild ride, with the stock market packing about 10 years worth of volatility into a period of four months. And dont even get me started about the murder hornets.

But one of the few solaces working Americans have always been able to take is the idea that, if they earn 40 lifetime work credits, a Social Security benefit will be waiting for them when they retire.

The Social Security program has navigated through 13 recessions prior to the COVID-19 pandemic. Despite some obviously grim outlooks during those previous recessions, youll note that Social Security is still here, and its been paying continuous retired-worker benefits for more than 80 years. This is why its often referred to as Americas most successful social program.

But just because its been a historically successful program doesnt mean its necessarily in great shape to service future generations of retirees.

What You Should Know About The Gop And Social Security

Who’s to blame for this mess? Well, some Americans would point their fingers specifically at Republicans in Congress. While they absolutely do take some of the blame, the inaction by Republicans and Democrats on Capitol Hill makes them equally culpable in exacerbating Social Security’s problems.

When it comes to Republicans and Social Security, here are the four things you absolutely need to know.

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With A Potential Debt Ceiling Increase Afoot Liberals Brace For Obama To Once Again Push For Social Security Cuts

Paul Ryans Wednesday Wall Street Journalop-ed was perhaps the starkest sign of a striking shift: a government shutdown and debt ceiling showdown pitched by Tea Party members to be about blocking Obamacare is being framed by GOP leaders as a push towards entitlement reform. In Wednesday interviews, leaders of liberal groups commended the presidents consistent insistence on not offering new budget concessions in exchange for reopening the government or averting debt default. But they pledged an all-out effort to defeat Social Security or Medicare cuts if Obama offers them once again after the default threat is delayed. GOP leaders push for a six-week debt ceiling increase suggests that moment could come very soon.

Charles Chamberlain, who directs the Dean campaign offshoot Democracy For America, told Salon that it would be a huge mistake for Obama to once again push the Social Security cut called chained CPI, and the president would face a gigantic amount of opposition from progressives nationwide if he did. Still, said Chamberlain, he put her on the table once before. I dont think hes going to take it off.

Meanwhile, the presidents support appears to have tempered opposition to Social Security cuts within the Democratic Caucus. A work-in-progress whip count from Social Security Works so far counts a dozen Democrats in the Senate and 46 in the House whose statements suggest they would oppose any deal including chained CPI .

They Haven’t Taken A Dime From The Social Security Program That Isn’t Accounted For

Another misconception is that the Republican Party stole money from the Social Security Trust and used it to fund wars. More specifically, Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush, and George W. Bush have come under intense scrutiny for borrowing from Social Security and “not putting the money back.”

However, the truth of the matter is that Congress has been able to “borrow” Social Security’s excess cash for five decades, and it’s happened under every single president over that stretch. In fact, the Social Security Administration is required by law to purchase special-issue bonds and certificates of indebtedness with this excess cash. Please note the emphasis on “required by law” that I’ve added above. The federal government isn’t simply going to sit on this excess cash it borrows from Social Security. It’s spending this cash on various line items, which may be wars and the defense budget, as well as education, healthcare, and pretty much any other expenditure you can think of.

This setup is actually a win-win for both parties. The federal government has a relatively liquid source of borrowing with the Social Security Trust, and the Trust is able to generate significant annual income from the interest it earns on its loans. Last year, $85.1 billion of the $996.6 billion that was generated by the program came from interest income.

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Trump Keeps Proposing Entitlement Cuts And Then Denying That He Did So

In 2015 and 16, Trump differentiated himself from the rest of the Republican presidential hopefuls by campaigning on a vow to not cut entitlements.

Im not going to cut Social Security like every other Republican and Im not going to cut Medicare or Medicaid, Trump told the Daily Signal, a conservative publication affiliated with the Heritage Foundation, in 2015.

As his budget proposals indicate, this promise was an empty one. Trump, however, seems to realize that cutting entitlements is a political loser for him, and as a result has continued to make assertions about preserving them that are at odds with reality.

All Republicans support people with pre-existing conditions, and if they dont, they will after I speak to them. I am in total support. Also, Democrats will destroy your Medicare, and I will keep it healthy and well!

Donald J. Trump

Last month, however, Trump seemed to have a moment of radical honesty when he told CNBC during an interview conducted in Davos that at some point entitlement cuts will be on the table.

CNBC: Will entitlements ever be on your plate ?TRUMP: “At some point they will be”CNBC: But you said you wouldn’t do that in the pastTRUMP: “We also have assets that we never had”

Aaron Rupar

Those comments created a negative stir, so the very next day Trump tried to walk them back.

Democrats are going to destroy your Social Security. I have totally left it alone, as promised, and will save it!

Donald J. Trump

Democrats Have Already Signaled Trumps Budget Is Going Nowhere

Trump Vows To Protect Social Security, Medicare & Medicaid

While Trump tries to have it both ways by proposing entitlement cuts while claiming hes not really doing that, Treasury Department spokesperson Monica Crowley was somewhat more straightforward during a Monday morning appearance on Fox Business.

Asked by host Stuart Varney if she agrees that the new budget hits the safety net, Crowley said the president understands that Washingtons habit of out of control spending without consequence has to be stopped.

Treasury Secretary Assistant Sec. Monica Crowley defends cuts to entitlements in Trumps new 2021 budget proposal: The president also understands that Washingtons habit of out of control spending without consequence has to be stopped.

Aaron Rupar

But for Trump, not all spending is bad. While his budget cuts non-defense spending by 5 percent, he actually slates defense spending for an increase to $740.5 billion for fiscal year 2021.

Budget proposals are just that proposals. And while Trump insists that Republicans are the ones trying to save entitlements from destruction, the irony is that the truth is exactly the opposite: Entitlement cuts are dead on arrival as long as Democrats control a chamber of Congress.

House Budget Committee Chair John Yarmuth alluded to this reality in a statement he released on Sunday blasting Trump for proposing deep cuts to critical programs that help American families.

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Is The Gop Really Trying To Do Away With Social Security

Social Security is unquestionably the nation’s most important social program, with more than three out of five current retired workers leaning on it to account for at least half of their monthly income. Yet, this crucial program is on shaky ground, with the latest annual report from the Social Security Board of Trustees painting a grim intermediate- and long-term picture for the program.

According to the report, Social Security is facing an inflection point this year. For the first time since 1982, aggregate expenditures, which almost entirely includes benefits, but also takes into account administrative expenses and Railroad Retirement exchange contributions, will exceed revenue generated. Although the net cash outflow is only estimated at $1.7 billion, which is relative peanuts when compared to the $2.89 trillion currently in asset reserves, it’s a conclusive sign that the existing payout schedule isn’t sustainable.

Things begin to get really dicey in 2020 and beyond. Beginning at the turn of the decade, ongoing demographic shifts are expected to cause the net cash outflow to balloon. By 2034, following 16 years of outflows, the $2.89 trillion in excess cash is expected to be completely gone. Should this happen, Social Security would survive, but payouts to then-current and future retirees could be cut by up to 21%. That’s not a pleasant forecast given the noted reliance of seniors on the program.

Meet The New Gop Plan To End Medicare Same As The Old Gop Plan To End Medicare

We here in the Democratic Whip Press shop will give Republicans credit for their transparency. They are not even trying to hide the fact that their Cut, Cap and End Medicare bill would end the programs guarantee.

Republican Study Committee Chairman Jim Jordan said yesterday the plan basically mirrors the budget proposal that the House passed this year.

That would be the same Republican budget proposal that ends the Medicare guarantee and more than doubles heath care costs for seniors, all while preserving tax breaks for the wealthy.

And the Republican Cut, Cap and End Medicare plan is no different.

But dont just take our word for it. According to theCenter on Budget and Policy Priorities, the measure:

stands out as one of the most ideologically extreme pieces of major budget legislation to come before Congress in years, if not decades.

The legislation would inexorably subject Social Security and Medicare to deep reductions.

In addition, the extreme and draconian Republican proposal would reverse decades of precedent that exempt cuts to basic services for the most vulnerable among us. More from the CBPP:

Since the Gramm-Rudman-Hollings law of 1985, all such laws have exempted the core basic assistance programs for the poorest Americans from such across-the-board cuts. Cut, Cap, and Balance, by contrast, specifically subjects all such programs to across-the-board cuts if its spending caps would be exceeded.

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Republicans Will Cut Social Security And Medicare After Tax Plan Passes Says Marco Rubio

Update | Florida Senator Marco Rubio admits that the Republican tax cut plan, which benefits corporations and the wealthy, will require cuts to Social Security and Medicare to pay for it.

To address the federal deficit, which will grow by at least $1 trillion if the tax plan passes, Congress will need to cut entitlement programs such as Social Security, Rubio told reporters this week. Advocates for the elderly and the poor have warned that entitlement programs would be on the chopping block, but this is the first time a prominent Republican has backed their claims.

Expect all the guests on the Sunday shows to be Republicans explaining how they now have no choice but to slash Social Security & Medicare because the deficit has suddenly and mysteriously gotten much worse.

Bruce “Snarking and Barking” Bartlett

“You have got to generate economic growth because growth generates revenue,” Rubio said at a Politico conference. “But you also have to bring spending under control. And not discretionary spending. That isn’t the driver of our debt. The driver of our debt is the structure of Social Security and Medicare for future beneficiaries.”

Rubio’s talk of structural change is vague but will likely include changing the rate and age of Social Security and Medicare payouts.

So where does that money come from?

Senate Finance Committee Chair Orrin Hatch said Thursday that “liberal programs” for the poor were wasting Americans’ money.

The Political Outlook For Social Security Reforms

But the Biden administration and its Congressional allies are instead focused on threading the political needle for an ambitious $3.5 trillion infrastructure spending package, while also dealing with the fallout from the chaotic withdrawal from Afghanistan.

Leading Republican legislators have called for so-called entitlement reform , but that’s a tough sell in the current ;Democratically controlled Congress.

“Does the report mean the timetable argues for real concrete action on Social Security? Probably not. Will it revive the rhetoric that the sky is falling? Sure,” says Robert Blancato, national coordinator of the Elder Justice Coalition advocacy group, president of Matz Blancato and Associates and a 2016 Next Avenue Influencer in Aging.

The issue over how best to restore financial solvency to Social Security isn’t going away. That’s because the program is fundamental to the economic security of retired Americans. Social Security currently pays benefits to 49 million retired workers and dependents of retired workers .

However, the tenor of the longer-term solvency discussion has significantly changed in recent years.

To be sure, a number of leading Republicans still want to cut Social Security retirement benefits to reduce the impending shortfall. Their latest maneuver is what’s known as The TRUST Act, sponsored by Utah Sen. Mitt Romney.

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Democrats Urged To Reject Latest Gop Attempt To Hold Social Security ‘hostage’

Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham on Wednesday said he would be willing to vote to raise the federal debt ceiling in exchange for a policy that could result in cuts to Social Security and Medicare, a proposed trade-off that progressive advocacy groups implored Democrats to reject.

“Fortunately, Democrats can protect Social Security and Medicare by raising the debt ceiling in the forthcoming reconciliation package.”Alex Lawson, Social Security Works

With members of Congress staring down an to increase the debt limitthe amount of money the federal government is legally permitted to borrow to meet its financial obligationsGraham toldBloomberg that he could bring himself to vote yes on a debt ceiling hike if Democrats agree to legislation establishing commissions tasked with crafting Social Security and Medicare “reforms.”

But Social Security Works, a progressive advocacy organization, was quick to warn that Graham’s offer is a thinly veiled trap.

“Lindsey Graham and his fellow Republicans will stop at nothing to cut the American people’s earned Social Security and Medicare benefits,” Alex Lawson, executive director of Social Security Works, said in a statement. “Graham has now telegraphed his party’s intention to demand a commission to cut Social Security and Medicare as the price for raising the debt ceiling.”

Social Security Works and other groups warned at the time that the proposal was nothing more than “a plot to gut Social Security behind closed doors.”

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emberoops-archive · 4 years

Text

so here in my analysis of last nights nightmare, because i am very impressed. under a readmore, trigger warnings for body horror, abuse, mentions of genocide, references to torture, and teeth. (and more! check tags)

so in the dream i was in a relationship with the dude who started the genocide against the nafar. hes tried to get me to date him irl, so i guess that isnt too surprising! (and points for pulling from irl people for this, well done.) i didnt want to be in a relationship with him, but i was going through the motions to keep him from murdering me again. for some reason in the dream dying mattered - maybe i was mortal?

anyway! so my parents and i (and the asshole, whose name is il’guin) all win this raffle for a mansion, with staff. if i marry the dude, its permanent, but if i dont, it isnt; i have a week to decide.

for some reason while i am there, he and i are like...getting along? like, i know even then that hes a horrible man who murders my people for stupid reasons, has murdered and tortured and torture-murdered me in the past, and so on, but im in love with him? somehow? (this adds points to the after-waking category because even though i know it was a dream that fucked with me a little for a bit, like, self?? really???? come on!!)

but theres all of these weird things going on with the mansion and its like. part horror script, part psychological warfare, part something shady that i didnt actually uncover before i woke up? like, they gave me orthodontic surgery for my teeth, which they first gaslit me into thinking i needed, for free, which was great until my mom was talking about how what they did was actually really really bad and they not only fucked my teeth up, but it made me almost certain to be reliant on the specific dentist who was there for my case to keep them working.

they also were like, threatening these random kids who i guess were supposed to be my siblings? which is weird because i dont even have siblings! well, not in the universe where the parents who were in the dream exist, anyway. i guess i technically have a brother in the universe il’guin is from, but hes older than me. whatever. but like, they were talking about how it would a pity if i were to leave and something happened, etc.

the night i realized that i was being manipulated and gaslit i went to find my mom to help and she had to take out the surgery stuff they did, but it was so rushed she had to just...pull it out. so she like, grabbed my teeth and was like, “look, this is going to hurt a lot, but you absolutely cannot move or i cannot put your teeth back, and if we leave it in bad things will happen.” (she gave the specific bad things but i cannot remember anymore rip).

and then she pulled on my molars and like, the entire row of teeth just slid out? they were legit that loose, and everything was threaded onto a wire. so she slid them out, fixed them, and put them back in, but they were super loose. it did let her twist this one tooth that is crooked irl to fix it, though, so...nice? i guess? but if i bit down or pressed to hard on the wrong tooth it like, disappeared into my jawbone, which was no bueno.

then she did the top, and like, for some reason i couldnt see when she did the bottom jaw, but when she did the top i could, so she was like, “dont look, its going to freak you out and then youll move and your teeth will be fucked up!” but i looked and like. my entire palate came apart into strings, like, cat’s cradled between my teeth, and started coming apart, and there was just a black hole into i guess my sinuses? and i started trying to stay still but i was also screaming and starting to panic because my entire face was unraveling, and then i woke up.

so the categories!

general applicability: 9/10. not everyone has someone terrible who tried to date them or they dated, but the idea of being stuck acting like you are is scary, and even if that falls through, watching your face unravel when an entire row of teeth come out is super terrifying.

cliche deduction: gonna go with a 2/10 deduction on this, since the teeth thing is super common. it isnt higher because usually they just, like, fall out, instead of the surgery angle, and i like the departure from the standard and creativity involved.

waking/lingering efficacy: 7/10. this definitely had me spooked and/or questioning myself for a while after i woke up, and the last image before i woke up is genuinely disturbing even to think of. however, i have had dreams that werent even nightmares while i had them that left me slightly disturbed for days after i woke up, so i know he can do better. still, this is good, and if i werent used to being tortured and/or killed i probably would be more bothered by this for longer.

use of setting/plot: honestly, 5/10. for a spooky murder mansion where i was dating my genocidal murderer, vague threats, a strangely clogged shower, and bad orthodontic surgery is a huge underutilization of the pieces there. it did however leave a good building sense of just, being unsettled or suspicious? so that was good.

overall: honestly my rating should be 4.75/10 from the math above but honestly that teeth bit was so well done, i think it needs to be a solid 8/10 at least. i know dream could do better probably but i am still very impressed. i also love the detail that the one doing this was my mother, and she was actually helping me, adding the additional fear of my fear, since my yelling and thrashing around posed danger to myself.

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justanuniverseexplorer · 7 years

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Okay btw, I saw some post sorting the sestras into Hogwarts Houses and it said that Sarah was a Slythering and Cosima a Hufflepuff and Im like: what the what??? Okay if you say Sarah isnt a Gryffindor, then Ill just say you’re stupid. All she did in five seasons was fight for the safety of her family and everyone involved(eh! She saved Ferdinand! And I know it wasnt only for her cure, she genuinely didnt want people killed. Im surprised she killed Westmoreland in such a way) and although Cosima was the one who was more concerned about the ethics, Sarah fought for what was right too, for freedom and identity. The fact that she breaks rules and is sometimes manipulative comes from her troubled youth were never said to be Slytherin traits(its like saying all marginal is a Slytherin, ugh). She doesnt even apply to Slytherin’s traits as opposed to having a lot of Gryffindor characteristics. Sarah is highly protective, playful at times of brief peace, stubborn, a lot impulsive and the bravest of the sisters. She’s a bloody Gryffindor and I wont discuss that further more!

Cosima IS a Ravenclaw!!! God fucking dammit just look at her! Shes always trying to look at the whole picture before jumping to conclusions, she loves learning and researching and, I know, being smart doesnt necessarily mean youre a Ravenclaw, but she is mastering in biology! Now, I understand that the fact that shes super kind and is kind of dependable(I mean, take Delphine for example. She almost ruinned everything in season 1) but you dont need to have to have all your house’s traits and can have other houses’s

Helena is a Hufflepuff. I had my doubts at first because of the traits, even tho she fills the profile perfectly but looking more into it Im certain of it

Alison is very probably a Slytherin, but I havent analysed her yet. I worry I’m tempted to put her in Slytherin just because then we would have a sestra per house, so I have to take a deeper look. She certainly is a little selfish at times and doesnt really care about the stuff besides keeping her own family safe, so I guess we could rule Ravenclaw out. She isnt a Gryffindor either. She’s brave! But thats not her most significant quality. Besides, she doesnt fill the rest of the traits(she takes herself very very seriously). Plus, I’m a Gryffindor myself and I know we’re prone to be kinda messy with stuff, I know its not a trait to be irresponsible or unorganized but it happens oftenly. That leaves us Hufflepuff and Slytherin. Since Alison is oftenly used as comic relief(in a brilliant way, by the way, in which the character isnt damaged and is still a lot important for the story and can be taken seriously) she would misplaced in Hufflepuff easily(you know, Hogwarts House steriotype, we’ve all been there), however, although she does display some traits, she doesnt fit the house right, missing a lot of important characterists. Now, what finally leads to my verdict is reading Slytherin’s all over again: “focused on goals”, “big on cost benefit analysis”, “self reliant”, “able to separate the idea of themselves from what they do”(she dealt with Aynsley’s incident so well I was scared). That’s Alison! “Stupid suburban Alison”(more like badass school trustee who loves pink and weaving guns). So yes, Alison is a Slytherin

Oh well, I guess we do have a sestra per house after all. Not gonna lie, that makes me very happy, and it does make a load of sense since the show wanted to build all these different characters(and Tatiana played them with not yet seen perfection). I swear I was going go make this a quik post but placing people in Hogwarts Houses always makes me exiceted. I really hope the author of the post I referred to at the top of the text reads and gets my analysis. I really think it’s on fleek and tried to remember many situations and scenes the characters were in that proved my points. Well, thats it, Imma sleep now and try to look alive at school tomorrow. I'll leave you with Sarah's line to Cosima on Season 2 cause it reasonates perfectly their Hogwarts Houses: "We're so different. All of us"

#orphan black #hogwarts houses #sorting hat #hogwarts #sestras #sarah #gryffindor #cosima #ravenclaw #helena #hufflepuff #alison #slytherin #guess it sounds obvious but it really is what it is!#ob spoilers

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heavyyhearts-blog · 7 years

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https://byf.tumblr.com/post/163680331020/last-thing-im-posting-about-this-heres-ayas

“if i made it sound like you did similar stuff to every single one of these people it wasn’t my intention. however in the past you have gone in depth about jess, and how she left you “when you needed her most and fucked you up more,” and you have told me winter backed her up when she left you. whether you’re intentionally like this or not, you’ve been toxic and manipulative enough unintentionally that you’ve made multiple people also stressed and hurt. however you’ve had this pointed out to you, that you can be to much, and that you do these things. yet you still do them because “you can’t help it.” i understand fully that bpd fucking sucks, and that it affects your relationships. but if you’ve already had these things pointed out to you, you need to work on them, and you’re not. “

i have been working on them though? the problem is that you literally didn't tell me that i had been the way i had been. and on the issue with jess specifically? how i acted around her was EXTREMELY different to how i acted towards you. how i acted towards jess was, not only several years ago, but a lot more awful. the entire situation was awful, really. we were both like, 13 or 14, somewhere around there. i was approaching a point in my life where i was beginning to have nonstop problems with my abusive parents that made my life even more of a 24/7 suicidal nightmare than it already had been.

on top of the fact that i had began showing many extreme symptoms of bpd. and the thing about it was? i literally did not know what bpd even was. i didnt know there was a reason for how i ended up acting. i felt so horrible and disgusting every single day of my life for the things i had been doing, but i had no way of stopping them. i was 13. i was going through too much. this was also when i started realizing i was trans and dealing with the backlash on that from my parents.

what did i do? i yelled at her constantly and split on her constantly. every single tiny thing she would do wrong, would get me so extremely irrationally pissed off and i couldnt control myself. i literally, could not control myself. i tried so many stupid bullshit plans to make myself stop doing all thse shitty things but none of it worked and itw as too much for her. i would love her so much one minute and then literally hate her and everything she stood for the next and i was so constantly afraid of every tiny little thing just changing my mood over and over again. i was extremely dependant and needy and i had no control over my moods and i had no idea what was happening i had no idea she was my fp or what bpd even was.i was just all around horrible to her with no way of stopping. it was at that point in time where i would need time and separation from her to ever not do those things again.

and im 99% sure i already told you this. again, how i acted towards jess was nothing like how i acted towards you, and how i acted towards her was never inentional either. in that way, ive definitely gotten better, because i have never been as bad as i was with her since.

“ whether you’re intentionally like this or not, you’ve been toxic and manipulative enough unintentionally that you’ve made multiple people also stressed and hurt. however you’ve had this pointed out to you, that you can be to much, and that you do these things. yet you still do them because “you can’t help it.” i understand fully that bpd fucking sucks, and that it affects your relationships. but if you’ve already had these things pointed out to you, you need to work on them, and you’re not. “

i dont even know what this "youve been told you can be toxic and manipulative and havent done anything about it." i? have? listen. i had no idea that i was ever being like how i was with YOU and possibly some others, i dont really remember. it was only when you literally made fun of me with a meme image that i realized i was getting like that at all. back with jess? i was violently, uncontrollably verbally abusive. like, flat out, name-calling shit, that i always felt so horrible for after i would inevitably calm down. like that wasnt being manipulative that was just verbal abuse, not the same thing. and the entire thing about that is, i dont do that anymore. part of when i say i've gotten better about things over the years, is that ive managed to get over that , and that im very luckily not that mentally unstable anymore. and you cant use jess to refer back to this "not getting better thing"

ever since i had been told that i was being manipulative unintentionally , i've tried very hard to not get like that, and, as far as im aware, i've done it a lot less, if at all. like. im working on it? ive even specifically told a lot of people how i had been acting so and that i can be oblivious and to please tell me if i ever get like that because i dont want to be like that. like literally forewarning people, just in case, even though ive already been way more cautious anyway and am pretty sure no ones told me that ive been so because i havent

also just as an example on this one of my friends just now brought up to me how i used to kinda flame them in league/get mad at them a lot and that i was scary like this, and now i dont do this anymore i dont take my anger out on them like i used to, that was a problem i similarly had with jess before i can @ them if you really want me to. , ive also apologized for this and gotten better about it. i know i fuck up a lot

“ my point in gathering some of the more extreme things you did and posting them is that you were continuing to do things along those lines, albeit maybe not the same explicit things, but still manipulative/bad actions. you didn’t stop any of them until you were already splitting on me for drinking/having friends/etc. “

first of all youre still insisting ive been splitting on you for drinking/having friends or whatever. thats?? not why ive been i already said this?? i've been collectively splitting on you over time because of the nonstop problems we've had over all of these months. like ive literally been splitting because i havent been happy. and all the drinking shit etc/is just things that make it even easier for me to split, like, it's not like that's the sole reason i have been. if it had not been for all of these months of bad shit happening between us, i could probably easily cope with those things given time and conversations, but it doesnt even matter now.

and yes, even after i had been told, i still did some things. because it takes time? to get better? i cant fix myself instantly. like you literally cannot deny that i have gotten better about it. like im still sorry for everything i have done, it can be hard to control at times, that doesnt mean i cant help it

" i wasn’t necessarily calling you out for blocking me, i was putting that down as something you did even after you went around saying it was fucked up. my problem isn’t that you blocked me, its that i stopped doing that, and was ready to communicate, like we both agreed to, and then you went and blocked me out of no where, when you were telling people in a group chat, and probably people privately that i was so fucked up for “just ignoring you for days” i was “ignoring you for days” because i told you that i needed to cut you off and stop talking to you multiple times and you continued to beg and spam me, after i told you to stop. that’s what cutting you off is, and you didn’t respect that. you mentioned “compromising” but i wasn’t okay with that. i was at the point where i wanted you out of my life and you kept pushing, and then made me the bad guy by saying “MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!” i had made up my mind. and you continued to spam and beg me. i’m mentally ill too and you were too stressful for me, and i rarely had the energy that you needed. i explained that to you and you didn’t care. “

i dont know what youre referring to on “ and then made me the bad guy by saying “MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!” “

and i dont really have anything to say to this like. thats something i honestly cant help doing. i know that no matter what i do, it's going to be an "in the moment thing" should the same thing ever happen to me again, and that ill react the same way. people leaving me scares me too much. what i already said to this was that my solution to that problem was to restrict myself from getting too attached to people like i did with you. i got too attached to you. what happens when i get too attached, is i get too comfortable, i lose my filters, i act more impulsively, i do stupid things, and most importantly it would start making me have breakdowns i cant help should they ever leave, which is why i need to stop with having people become my fp. it's too dangerous for both people involved for me to get attached like that and its why ill stop doing that. ive learned that now.

“ the “out of context rant” was to show how you would react to me trying to cut you off. and thinking on it, it wasn’t fucked up for me to try and get you out of my life AGAIN. i was pissed and snapped because you were sitting there telling me i was becoming to reliant on alcohol for coping, when i had always drank. i just didn’t talk about it because you were uncomfortable about it. i could also already feel you becoming distant for that reason and others, and i (also having bpd.) felt shitty because i felt like you didn’t care and were replacing me. i decided that it was best for me to just remove myself from the situation. especially because it would also benefit you in that you didn’t have to deal with me drinking, because that’s not something i’m stopping. i could see that you at that point had other friends, and it was in both of our best interest to just get out of the toxic situation. which you then got mad at me and spammed me for, just like before. “

"which you then got mad at me and spammed me for, just like before. “

um lol as you can clearly see i got mad because you pulled the instant blocking without talking to me thing yet again, for reasons that didnt even make sense, like you said all this shit about "having a perfect image of you in my head" and whatever out of nowhere??? like it made no sense to me and made it seem even more ridiculous to me. as if that pissed off reaction was somehow unprovoked

“ and the problem with you saying “you should have just talked to me about it,” is anytime that i would talk about it you would breakdown and spam and beg me. “

???? what???? are you talking about when you would try to cut me off??? because you "talking about it" is just telling me "im done bye cant do it" then forcefully blocking me. and if youre referring to "talk to me about things im doing wrong," youre lying.

“ this whole paragraph is just. okay. i’m not expecting you to just “not split.” i’m asking you to just say, “hey i fucking hate you, it pisses me off seeing you, i’ve split so much, i can’t be around you, bye. block” “

this is just me being petty and pissed off and not caring enough to tell you given everything that's happened, i still dont care

“the bakugou thing; again it was more of a, this is the kind of shit they do/say. you did “apologize for it” and say that you didn’t care anymore. however you continuously do similar things, where you will push issues that. aren’t your business and that you really don’t need to know. “

yeah if i ever push things like that it's because it seriously bothers me and makes me beyond anxious that i will end up pushing it, because i dont know how else to calm down over it and stop thinking about it for days other than talking about it. even so you still tried to make me look bad by saying "when i cc’d bakugou and she tried to make me explain my trauma to make it Valid" ???

“ and yeah, you showed a personal confession from me that i said i crave something. that doesn’t mean i do it. it means i have those urges, not that i go through with them. but you got me. “

just trying to make you look bad :3

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rapturedtoxicity · 7 years

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Me: yo Me: wassup Friend: nm just bout to watch the mayweather fight Me: right Me: mcgregor or mayweather Me: ? Me: disclaimer i dont know shit abt any of that Friend: boxing match Friend: jst watching it since it will be a thing that lots of people talk about Me: fair enough Me: i am Me: extremely drunk rn Me: have been for the last 6 days Friend: lol Friend: welcome to how many people spend their early 20s Me: cheers Me: it helps deal with the pain tbh Me: dude Me: weird question maybe but Me: have you ever self harmed Friend: no but its not something that works with me Me: fair enough Me: i've been trying it Me: it kinda helps Me: for me Friend: ive done it but not directly Friend: just training slamming my fist and knees into a wall Friend: until i just ran out of energy Me: i getcha Friend: but it didnt do anything Friend: but those times i just wanted to feel anything that wasnt what i felt ever yday Friend: even if it was physical pain Friend: it was nice to feel something else Me: yeh Me: kinda where i am atm Me: been making cuts into my arm Me: to distract from the heartache Me: it helps a lot Me: surprisingly much actually Me: dont mean to be depressing, rofl Me: dont intend to make it a permanent habit or anything but Me: fuck Me: it helps Me: god damn Friend: i get you Friend: but people do it for different reasons Friend: i just want to punish myself Friend: i found other ways to do that Me: kind of on that page atm Me: punishing/relief Me: feel like i deserve it in a way Friend: for me those were 2 different things, it was nice to feel something else but essentially it got me nowhere closer to a positive end goal Friend: or so i've rationalised what im doing now to be conducive Me: yeh Friend: im sure im wrong but Me: idk if im aiming for a positive end goal atm? just kinda Friend: im far too proud, i have to do it solo Me: doing it to relieve stress in the moment Me: you get me Me: ? Me: yeh i get you Friend: a little but Friend: when i did that stuff Friend: i couldnt do anything Me: i know it's fucking stupid and all that Friend: my brain just didnt think straight Me: and i know i aint thinkin straight Me: yeh Me: but Me: it does help. Me: for me, at least Me: redirects the fucking Me: immense emotional pain into Me: slight physical pain Me: distracts me in the moment Me: only real downside atm for me is how hard it is to hide it Friend: nah thats effort Friend: showing it is fine Friend: just make sure you have a solid convo ender to observers who question it Me: i agree personally but Me: my coworkers keep telling me to cover up and shit Me: like im not looking for attention Friend: cover up? Me: im just doing my own thing when i roll up my sleeves at work and shit Friend: do your cuts etc show? Me: yeh Friend: yeh thats stupid Friend: obviously Friend: use your leg or something Friend: fuck knows why im helpng you do this Me: hahhhahahhaha Me: i actually cracked up Me: lmfao Friend: but until you realise better Friend: me saying Friend: dont do it Friend: wont achieve shit Me: agreed Friend: but you need to know you're retarded for doing it Me: heard that a bit much lately Me: just makes me feel spite Me: yeh i know it's retarded Friend: you're smart enough to suffer until you have a better answer Me: aye Me: i get it Friend: you might hate me a little for saying it Me: just dont have a better answer atm Friend: but personally i think you shouldn't be shit sad Friend: this* Me: elaborate Friend: i know its all relative obviously Friend: but tons of people would kill to have the kind of breakup you had Friend: yeh things will be a little tough but you still have someone close (at least thats what we know for now) Friend: you need to thing of all the good things Friend: and think like Friend: ok magic lamb Friend: genie magic Friend: go Friend: change your situation Me: i am Me: i've started working on myself and shit Friend: lamp* Me: am meeting ppl pretty much every day and shit Me: going out more, doing new things Me: but when i get home the rest of it takes over Friend: but would you be doing that if you knew you had no chance with her? Me: id probably Me: take a few days to just fucking sulk to be honest Friend: i mean i understand how decisions are influenced to match your S/o Me: and then try and work on it Friend: but a "change" like that needs to be genuine or its all superficial Friend: and fragile Me: no yeah like Me: ive been thinking like Me: last couple days like Me: as much as i hate that this is happening Me: maybe it's a good thing in the big picture Me: because i'd become so fucking like Me: isolated Me: i was only really meeting her Me: and chilling with her Me: never really met or did anything with friends Me: so in a way it was a wake up call Me: made me realize that i had to water the crops so i could keep on reaping them Me: still have my eyes on the prized flower ofc Me: but it kinda made me realize that she isnt the only thing thats important to me Me: shes obviously really fucking important to me but it really kind of woke me up Me: like a splash of water to the face Me: like Me: "shit i fucking. i gotta get off my ass and meet friends and shit" Friend: yeh its true Me: made me understand how important all that shit is to me kind of Friend: as you get older, you need to always make an active effort Friend: to stay on top of friends Me: yeh Me: cause i was very reliant on her in a way Me: and as much as i want that to be a thing still Me: it made me understand that i can also rely on other people Me: i can also look to other people Me: meet other people etc etc Me: i've come to understand that a lot of the things thatMe: meet other people etc etc Me: i've come to understand that a lot of the things that Me: i originally didnt like to do with her Me: or like Me: "didnt like" Me: it made me realize i was just being a shitter in my own world Me: i actually enjoy a lot of those things Friend: thats also a tricky thing tho Friend: like feeling that a bad aspect about you needs fixing Me: just didnt understand it cause i was so stuck in my loop Me: yeh sure maybe im just saying/doing that to make myself feel better unconsciously but at least its something right Me: a different perspective Me: like Me: i find myself Me: actually wanting to go on walks Me: i find myself actually wanting to do all this shit i thought i hated doing Me: i feel more awake in a sense Me: so while i still really want her back i think ive kind of found the light at the end of the tunnel in a way Me: a different light than i was originally searching for, maybe Me: but a light nonetheless Friend: i get you Friend: a little advice is try not to mention any "changes" you have Friend: personally its just better if a person realises your changes from seeing it first hand Friend: dont be that guy who promotes himself Me: yeh cause it'll maybe make her think im trying to change for her or something Friend: yeh Me: instead of actually changing Friend: dont advertise it ever Friend: just know what you're showing and how you're acting is a result of work and mentality Friend: if it shows it shows Friend: if it doesnt then who cares Friend: you do you for you Friend: it would just be good obv if the flower gets it without any assist Me: yeah Me: for sure Me: i think Me: if we end up hanging out again and shit Me: i'm pretty sure i'm still just gonna Me: want to ask her to go out for a walk and do shit and all that Me: because i feel that desire now Me: even if i'm making cuts on my arms and drinking like a maniac Me: like i still feel like im making progress Me: even if my current ways of coping with the pain are fucking retarded Me: and im very aware of that Me: i kinda feel like i can maybe learn from being a fucking moron for a little bit though Me: understand a bit better how that is, how the perspective switches you know Friend: yeh Me: notes to be had Me: dont advertise change Me: it gives the wrong impression Me: might make her think its superficial Me: uhhhHHh Me: stop being retarded at some point obviously Friend: tbh a big thing of being in your head too much Friend: is if you're not actually busy Friend: so try and do mre Friend: in the day Friend: tire yourself out Friend: budget your time bette Friend: r Friend: dont yolo days Me: i feel like being a moron and behaving irresponsibly for a bit is ok because this is the most painful shit ive gone through ever pretty much Friend: cus then you just think about shit you dont need to Friend: cus you've nothing better to do Me: yeh Me: plan shit Me: do things Me: make plans in advance etc etc Friend: that might help Me: i feel like Me: idk if im wrong abt this Me: but Me: i think it's okay to be a moron for a bit Friend: personally Friend: i mean it makes sense Me: obviously you're the fuckin logic sensei and all that Friend: but think of dota shitters who are like Friend: im 2k so i dont need to get dust Friend: cus at that point its ignorance after the fact Me: and, again: i'm actively referring to myself as a fuckin moron so i understand that this shit is just retarded Friend: like choosing the ignorance Friend: thats cool Me: but atm it feels like it's aight Friend: but like how i avoid saying sorry Friend: if you keep calling yourself a moron Friend: that word wont mean shit Me: it'll lose meaning yeh Friend: cus your brain will just go Me: i'll just say sth else lol Friend: ive called myself that for weeks Friend: /months Me: yeh Me: i get you Me: stops meaning anything Me: idk. maybe im just not ready to like Me: take the leap Friend: yeh see thats legit to accept Friend: things like that take some time Friend: some wisdom Me: yeah Friend: so you make the call when you think you're ready Friend: some people never are ready Friend: and need the push Friend: but give yourself a chance Friend: to figure it out yourself Me: i think i will know soon enough Friend: before you get pushed Me: yeah Me: i definitely needed the push Me: the breakup was a big push tbh Me: really shoved me in the deep of it Me: like i said Me: made me understand what i value and all that Friend: yeh thats something that sucks Friend: but its kinda nice to Friend: too* Me: yeh Me: bittersweet Friend: you def feel growth once you realise what you had Friend: after you loseit Friend: yeh Friend: you'll see things a little differently now Me: yeah Me: if things take off again with her Me: i'll understand better what i want and what she wants Me: the growth is a nice feeling despite all the shittiness Me: it's some what relieving i guess Me: to understand myself a little better Me: man my coworkers were constantly telling me to cover up the cuts today Me: felt kinda bad tbh Friend: it should Me: cause im not ashamed of them really Friend: you showing other people makes it their problem Friend: because you would rightfully say Friend: hey if you're a good person Friend: and you see someone in troble Friend: you'd help Friend: so you openly showing something wrong Friend: doesnt make it just a hraug problem Me: i guess that's true Friend: so its fine not to be ashamed Friend: but do it for the others around you Me: yeah Me: that's fair Me: i feel like its kind of important that Me: like Me: im not trying to show anything Me: does that make sense like Me: im not pulling up my sleeves as a cry for help im just trying to not get them dirty while i work Me: but i obviously understnad that people seeing that shit is gonna have some effect on them one way or another Me: im just kinda like Me: obviously its not as simple as saying "it's none of your business" but that's kind of how i feel anyways Me: cuz its not something that im trying to show Me: its not something i think people should worry about Me: because i dont worry about it Me: but maybe im just being ignorant Me: or sth Me: idk Friend: yeh you are Friend: just get some bandages and perma keep em on Friend: but again its just normal sadness that you're feeling its no different to a normal breakup, you should try for a week to not to cut or stuff Friend: cus its not a smart way to deal with sadness in general Friend: especially when its nowhere near as bad as just out right being rejected due to failure or anything else Me: thats true i guess Me: idk though. i feel like that argument just goes back to like Me: children in africa and all that shit Friend: yeh dw about that just think he this is how i feel in this situation Friend: so just try and understand why you're feeling the way you're feeling Friend: that'll help you tackle how you feel Friend: and in the future it will make sense Friend: you;ll see the same signs Friend: etc etc Me: yeah Me: i suppose Me: that is true. Me: dude im so drunk lmfao i was actually considering asking you if you wanted to see my cuts Me: lmfoashdjgk Me: complete retard over here Me: god damn Me: ugh Me: i think i need to sleep maybe Friend: lol well i understand why you'd say it Friend: it wont phase me Friend: but i wont condone it Me: nah Me: i get that Friend: yeh that's smart Me: im the same w that w other people Me: condoning is not good Me: but theres a difference between condoning and like Me: accepting Me: i guess? Friend: yeh Friend: but cutting is a last resort in my head Friend: so im surprised you jumped str8 there Friend: but again we're all diferent Friend: ff* Me: i Me: tried it at first Me: because i was kinda curious Me: wondered it if it'd do anything for me Me: cause i know some people that have done it and said it helped them cope Friend: yeh it def helps nodoubt Me: and i was curious cause i havent really found anything to cope Friend: but again Friend: in my head its a last resort Me: havent had any desire to play any games in the last week Me: which is my usual coping method Me: yeh Friend: i see Me: but we're all different Me: like you said Me: i gotta stop drinking Me: rofl Friend: hah Friend: ive heard that a trillion times Friend: its shameful Me: feels bad Me: feels kinda good Me: but it feels bad Friend: lol Friend: welcome to the drunk life Me: hahahha Me: yeh Me: im learning to drink through this actually Me: learning how to pace myself Friend: absinth was a tricky one for me Friend: hate the taste Me: never had it afaik Me: did my first tequila shot tonight Friend: you'll know when you taste it Friend: you cant taste anythign Me: shit was nasty Friend: but that Friend: you could lick a hobos ass Friend: and not taste anything Friend: but absinth Me: shit Me: is it as agressive as gin? Me: gin is fucking nasty Me: like eating the bark of an orange Friend: its like Friend: gin Friend: super saiyan steroids Friend: +10 Me: ugh Me: nvm then Friend: you gta try it Friend: if you do it Friend: have like a single shot Friend: as a first drink Me: how strong is it? Friend: so you can taste it and shit Me: yeh Friend: its the strongest there is i think Friend: like 60% Friend: something stupid Me: ohhh bitch Me: that is nasty Me: aight well Me: im gonna fucking Me: sleep Me: cheers for the chat dude Me: always a pleasure Friend: likewise Friend: nn dude

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