#im sorry it was inevitable im surprised this didnt happen earlier

[technicalthinker]

august | sastiel (+destiel)

August sipped away like a bottle of wine, 'Cause you were never mine

[technowoah]

Can I request a prompt #37 with Karl Jacobs? I love your writing btw :)

Ring(s)

The four times Karl tried to propose and the one time he actually did.

- Karl Jacobs x gen!neutral reader!

- Prompts: 37) "Are you proposing?!"

⚠︎ swearing, fluff, angst if you squint and a rushed ending. I didn't proofread either

an// TYSM FOR LIKING MY WORK 😭ALSO Thanks for requesting and sorry this came out so late! Hope you enjoy :)

To say that Karl loved you was an understatement. He adored you and practically worshipped the ground you stood on. He is so respectful, which is a major upgrade from your other boyfriends, and loves you for who you are. You didn't have to put on a facadè at all during the 3 years you two have dated.

This love wasn't a one way thing. You loved him just as much, or even more, than he did. Everything he did you supported, you were always cheering him on from wherever you were. You were here for the good and the bad, and he was too. You two never shyed away from admiting your love and support. You could write a essay on each thing you love about Karl.

The idea of marriage came up during a late night dinner at Denny's. The idea came so naturally to you, so it surprised Karl that you didn't tense up. Karl was tense when bringing up the topic of marriage, so when you said "Yeah, I wanna get married to you one day." so casually it caught him off gaurd.

You two had already talked about marriage time and time again, but this time Karl wanted to take the initiative. He was ready to get married and since the marriage talk was just a few months ago it was fresh in his mind. Karl could vividly imagine you walking down the aisle towards him looking angelic. He could see everything now and he wanted those daydreams to become a reality. He wanted to physically feel your hands against his as you two say "I do" to one another.

He couldn't stop thinking about settling down in a nice house with you. Karl already bought a ring for you and always has it with him. Now he justs needs to figure out how to tell you.

1st proposal: Fireworks

"THIS IS THE MOST EXPENSIVE FIREWORK IN THE ENTIRE WORLD-"

You blocked out Jimmy's yelling as you sat in a lawn chair in the middle of the woods. Karl had invited you to a MrBeast video shoot because he thought it would be a great early 4th of July. It was late at night and slightly cool outside, so you were wearing a MrBeast hoodie Karl was wearing earlier. You zoned out as the boys talked to the camera over and over again, taking multiple shots.

You found yourself looking at Karl most of the time you sat there and you always caught his gaze towards you. Every time you caught him looking at you, you sent him a small wave or blow him a kiss and every time he sent a shy wave back or sent a more exaggerated kiss back.

During halfway through the shooting you begrudgingly had to move your lawn chair further and further away from your original spot. Karl always checked up on you before and after each firework set were blown up. He has been acting fidgety around you and you didnt know why. When you tried to confront him about it he would always turn away and go back to the boys without a glance back, and his hands in his pockets.

You loved watching the guys play with so many different types of fireworks, this was a great 4th of July for you, but you wished that Karl was sitting next to you feeling the bliss that you were.

You were currently sitting behind bulletproof glass while the guys had a control panel on their lap. Karl kept sending glances towards you and you looked at him and smiled whishing he was next to you and not over by the guys. You knew it was selfish, but he invited you here.

Karl kept bouncing his leg, he kept his hand in his pocket which held the ring. He kept sending glances towards you, knowing he should be on one knee right about now. Jimmy was about to fire off the last rocket of the night and Karl couldn't seem to go over and ask you to marry him. He knew he was hilding himself back which made him hate himself. You deserved a good night and he hoped you enjoyed the fireworks, but he knew on the ride back he would have to apologize.

He stayed with the boys as they went to go see the fireworks they would be setting off soon. Once they came back they were all about to press the button to set off the expensive fireworks they counted down from 5 and he looked towards you. You were standing up with your arms crossed, hopefully shielding yourself from the cold, and looking towards the fireworks that were going to burst. They finally pressed the button the fireworks went off.

Each burst of light in the air sent a glow onto your smiling face. Karl sent a somber glace and marveled in how the explosion of the fireworks sent a beautiful glow around you.

This wasnt the right time. Next time.

2nd proposal: Donuts

"Im sorry for last night." Karl apologized as you both took a seat at a booth by the window at the small coffee and donut shop.

This was supposed to be an apology for the last failed proposal. Instead of spending time with you, he kept his distance which was the opposite of what he really wanted to do. This was a way to spend much needed time with eachother, but this was also another attempt at a proposal.

Karl wanted to hide the ring in the middle of a donut so when you inevitably look at it when he hands it to you, you'll see the ring and then he'll propose right there. To him it seemed flawless.

You never wanted a huge proposal. You didnt want that much attention on you when your future significant other would propose. Something simple would be the ideal proposal and you've hinted that many times to Karl and right now he was listening. There were only two other couples in the small diner because others were picking up donuts and leaving. If he decided to get down on one knee it would cause a scene.

You stayed silent for a moment looking at Karl before deciding to speak.

"It's no problem. Please dont stress out about it." You smiled softly and he smiled back at you. "I mean the fireworks were beautiful, but you all were screaming too much."

You both laughed as you both recalled that night in the desert.

"Yeah I just didn't..I didn't really talk to you all night. I feel bad." Karl said fiddling with his hands.

"Its in the past Karl. And I still know you love me." You reached out to grab both of his hands and hold his cool hands in yours.

"I do love you." He whispered for only you to hear leaving both of you smiling ear to ear.

"What kind of donuts you want?" Karl asked looking into your eyes carefully.

You thought about it for a while before speaking up. "I'll keep it simple. Icing with sprinkles. Surprise me with the icing color!" You exclaimed while letting go of his hands for a second.

Once you two let go of eachothers hands he immediately went to his pocket and played with the velvet box. He nodded his head and without a word he stood up to meet the cashier behind the display box of donuts. He ordered only one donut as you said with orange icing this time.

He paid for the food and stayed at the counter where he paid. Karl looked back to see if you were paying attention to him only to see you looking out the window at the people passing by. Karl smiled at the sight knowing he really wants to marry you one day and then he looked down at the glistening ring inside of the box.

Karl was supposed to put the ring in the middle of the donut that was laying alone on a napkin on the counter. He started to think of the possibilities of what could happen. What if you didn't see the ring and crumble the ring with the napkin and throw it away? What if you accidentally put the ring in your mouth? What if you weren't hungry anymore?

He looked over again to where you were looking at him giving him the same smile you gave during the fireworks. Karl sighed and once again closed the box with the ring. He was a coward and he knew that.

Karl picked up the donut from the counter and made his way over to you.

"Here's your donut with sprinkles and orange icing!" Karl exclaimed putting emphasis on the 'orange' part.

"Thanks babe!" You smiled as he sat down across from you. "Wait, you didn't get anything for yourself?"

Karl sighed again for what seemed like the 100th time today and put on a smile. "I ended up not being as hungry as I thought I was."

"Well I could always share!" You started to eat your donut as Karl ended up looking outside.

Unbeknownst to you he was thinking of another way to propose without himself getting in his own head.

He'll find a time.

3rd proposal: Livestream

"Chat! As you can see I have my significant other here with me!" Karl exclaimed to his Twitch following.

You were sat next to him in another one of his office chairs with a blanket across your lap. You loved to join Karl's streams, the last couple of time you two played minecraft, gang beats, played on the nitendo switch for a while, but this time he didn't tell you what games you two would be playing. Karl just told you to come over tonight and ended up asking to join him for a stream last minute.

Now you are here next to him as Karl glows with excitement as he streams to his growing followers. You loved how he interacted with his fans and had a genuine connection with them, but sometimes that strong connection can, and has led to some nights where you had to stay the night and comfort him from his inner demons and the internet. Those nights made you love him even more, the vulnerability he gave to you made you comfortable with him.

It seems like the more time you spend eith him the more you want to officially get married. You didn't want to rush him because you soon figured out for yourself that there is no rush to express your love, which you two do everyday day. You two can get eloped in Vegas and you'll be happy, as long as you can spend the rest of your life with the man you love.

Karl kept sending glances towards you throughout the stream hoping you were having fun with the chill, q and a stream. Again he wanted to propose to you tonight during the stream. He loved showing your relationship whenever he could and whenever you would allow him to. His community also loved you the moment you became his significant other, so hopefully this will be a beautiful moment.

You talked to his chat as he contemplated, again, about whether to propose tonight. It wasn't infront of people, it was infront of a screen and it would be on Twitter in less than a week. This would be a good moment, but then again he wanted this moment to be between you two and he couldn't find the right time nor the right "moment".

As the stream continues you ended up wrapping yourself fully in the blanket and lying your head on his shoulder. You both cuddled eachother while you two answered questions. Karl kissed the top of your head and finally collected all of his thoughts.

He didn't need to propose to officially claim his love to you. Karl knew you both loved eachother to the ends of the Earth and back. There's no need for ceremony and the one day he will propose, he know it will come naturally. There is no need to force it, and now he wont.

Only time will tell.

4th proposal: spongebob

"Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

I can't hear you!

Aye, aye, captain!

Oh!"

The TV illuminated the comfortable, dark room you two were in. You were lying on the couch with Karl with the blanket you had while streaming. It was late at night after the stream and you two ended up watching re-runs of spongebob. Karl sang along to the theme song softly while you hummed along. This was the 4th episode you both watched this night and it was a great way to end the week.

"Do you want to stay over tonight?" Karl asked softly with tiredness in his voice.

"Of couse. Im too tired to move, so thanks for offering." You chuckled.

"You're welcome here anytime." Karl yawned and squeezed your sides. "Do you want popcorn?"

"Hell yeah." You got off of Karl as he walked to the kitchen.

He put the bag into the microwave and leaned back onto the kitchen counter as he waited. Karl looked over to the side and saw a empty vase which was next to the velvet box he was carrying with him this whole week. He shook his head and laughed to himself before getting the popcorn out of the microwave, dumping it in a bowl and walking back to see you taking up the whole couch.

"Move over or I'll sit on you." Karl said standing above her.

"Is that a promise?" You teased.

"Okay then!" He turned around and began to slowly and dramatically fake sitting ontop of you.

You began to laugh and try to push him off of you. You successfully got him to sit down and returned to your previous position, but this time with popcorn.

"I love you, you know that?" You hummed into his chest.

"Yeah, and I love you more."

"I love you most."

"I love you mostest." Karl laughed.

"That's not a word." You smiled.

"I love you so much I made up a word for ya." Karl kissed you head and you hugged him tighter.

"You know what?" Karl chuckled. "I love you so much that I tried to propose to you 3 times this week."

Karl finished and you sat up from your spot looking surprised. Karl sat up as well thinking he made a mistake telling you. He was abkut to apologize, but you beat him to speak.

"Oh my gosh!" You exhaled.

"Look, I'm sorr-"

"Are you proposing?!" You exclaimed with a smile on your face.

"Huh-?"

Karl was surprised just like you were before. He remembered that he wanted the Maybe this was the moment he needed this week.

Karl grabbed both of your hands and caressed them both, looking into your eyes. "I was planning to all week. But now I think this is a good moment. So Y/N? Will you marry me?"

"Of course I will!" You enveloped him into a tight hug and peppered his face with kisses. He finally found his moment and he couldn't be happier.

"You said you tried to propose three other times?" You questioned. "When was that?"

"Its a long story."

[hearteyesbowen]

hiii! there’s this trend going on where if someone’s boyfriend is on a zoom class or playing on the ps4 their girlfriend flashes them and i thought it would be a cool idea to write what would happen if joshs girlfriend flashed him while he was on live and he get flustered and ends it to hang out w her if you know what i meannnn!! thank youu ur amazing

attention ☆ joshua bassett

how else is y/n going to get the attention of her boyfriend?

warnings: swearing , suggestive fluff

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

“On my left, on my left!”

“No, no no!”

“Shit!”

Come over, he said.

It’ll be fun, he said.

We’re going to spend the whole day together, he said.

Bullshit, you said.

You could have done something else today, something more productive. Study for the tests you would have and inevitably fail the next week, maybe work out like you said you would this past New Year’s, clean your room from the mess you made while looking for your charger. Today could have been a productive day.

That said, you were never one to back up from being with your boyfriend. His schedule was pretty hectic with all the filming, interviews, and whatever it is that celebrities do, you didn’t pay much attention anyways. So when your usually busy boyfriend offers to hang out with you on one of his free days, it’s a steal.

Then he got an invite to play some video game with Matt and Larry. Then he asked if he could play a quick round, It would only be five minutes, babe. Then that one round turned into two, then five, then he doesn’t realize he has been playing for nearly an hour. Then you’re lying down on his bed behind him as he plays, and wonder if this was worth the procrastination you could have done at home. The answer is no.

You huff, staring at the ceiling above you, hoping there was something more interesting on the walls than hearing Josh laugh as he gets another shot in. Your legs dangle off the side of his bed while you lay on your back, strands of hair in various directions over your face.

“Josh?” You groan, tugging the hem of shirt and seeing a little bit of his back.

“Fuck off!” He screamed, smashing the buttons of his controller angrily.

Surprised, you sat up, making him turn his head. He gave you a quick look, pushing his headset away from his ears slightly so he could hear you better.

“Did you say something, babe?”

“I thought today would be just us, not us and your friends screaming at each other.”

He didnt respond for a few seconds, not until he was shot down and the round ended, erupting more profanities leaving his lips, and his controller leaving his hand.

“I’m sorry, what did you say? I couldn’t hear you.” He picked up his controller and fixed his headset, waiting for his match to start in 30 seconds.

“Are you going to give me any attention today? Or should I just go home?”

His head shot back towards you, eyebrows furrowed. “Already? Ok, I’ll just do one more round. Then we can watch a movie later.”

Without another word, he whipped his head back to the tv. You rolled your eyes, fixing your messy hair. Reaching for your phone beside you, you decide to scroll through your Twitter. Endless tweets from friends, celebrities you follow, and ads from various brands. Then a certain tweet caught your eye, retweeted by one of your hometown friends:

when your boyfriend won’t give you any attention 😂😂

Followed by a video from Tiktok, which was a girl recording her boyfriend in a similar situation as Josh, and from what you could assume, she was naked, which immediately caught the eyes of her boyfriend.

As if a lightbulb popped up from above your head, you smirked. You might as well give it a shot, he said one more round 20 rounds ago. Maybe you wouldn’t just completely strip in front of your boyfriend, let’s take some baby steps.

You stood up, stretched out your arms and back a little, and scanned the room. Josh’s desk was right next to his tv, so you thought that would be the perfect place for your little plan. Before making your way to the table, you unclip your bra from under your shirt, the tight feeling around your chest being relieved. You toss your bra on his bed, Josh not even noticing what you’re doing.

Casually striding to his desk, you lean against the counter, hands on the surface. The shirt you were wearing was a bit oversized, so your chest wasn’t as visible. You stare at Josh for a few seconds, wondering if he would even give you a glance. Of course, nothing.

Alright, initiating plan now.

“It’s a bit hot today, isn’t it?” You asked, changing your voice to sound more innocent compared to the annoyance you had earlier.

His eyes stay glued to the screen, his tongue caught in between his teeth. How dare he look so hot right now.

“Yeah, a little.” He mumbled.

You grab your shirt’s collar and start to fan it against yourself, hopefully making him look at you. You play with your hair, fluffing it out to make it look fanned, overall just trying to make yourself look as appealing as possible right now.

Still, no response.

Step two, here we go.

“It’s super hot right now, could we turn on a fan or something?”

You proceed to lift up your shirt over your head, throwing it across the room. You play with your hair more, looking anywhere around the room but him.

That was when he noticed. At first, it was a harmless peek as to what you were doing, then he took a second glance to fully notice you. His mouth hung open and his eyes widened, and suddenly nothing else mattered. Not the video game going on in front of him, not his friends’ muffled yells through his headphones, not even the fact that his character died seconds after he averted his eyes away from the screen. Just the way you looked, whether or not you had a shirt on, it was like the first time you met all over again.

When you looked his way, you couldn’t help but giggle at his red face. What else could you have done to get him away from that controller?

You looked him up and down and smiled, sending him a wink before you looked away.

“Yeah, uhm, guys? I have to go now, see ya.”

He ripped off his headset, turned off the tv, and left his controller on top of his console before practically running to you. He held your waist, his warms hands coming into contact with your cold skin as he stood in front of you. His face stayed the same since he first saw you, making you hold in your laughter.

“Wow, you’re so beautiful.” He whispered in awe, taking in all of you.

“I would hope so, seems like this is the only way for me to get you to notice me.”

“I’m sorry, no more video games when it’s an ‘us’ day, promise.”

You leaned up to gently press your lips against his, holding his cheeks in your hands. He smiled against your lips, and pulled away. His lips grazed your cheeks, leaving small kisses from your cheek to your ear.

“Why don’t I make it up to you, would you like that?”

His lips then trailed down your neck, painfully slow. Each kiss lingered even longer, his path stopping at your collarbone. He looked up at you with a smirk, noticing you nod rapidly. He moved up, kissing along your jaw and lightly sucking right by your ear, making a soft moan leave your lips.

“You said it was hot earlier,” He started, kissing your lips quickly.

His hands traveled down to under thighs as he effortlessly picked you up. You wrapped your legs around his torso, your hands around his neck.

“You better get used to it, because it’s about to get a lot hotter.”

“You’re so stupid.” You laugh.

“Did you expect anything else from me?”

A/N - this is a really late one , im so sorry to whoever requested this . but i hope u like it, it was fun to write (: this is also somewhat unedited so bear with me . also also i passed my drivers test so watch out road , im now a danger to society (; anyways love y’all xx

taglist - @love-joshy @mzzjads @seaveyssparkle @iamveryborrrreddd

[snickiebear]

HELLO SNICKIE I HAVE COME TO SCREEAAAAAAAAMMM

(So sorry im late to the party but) OMG that update on OL&W was *screams again*

1. Shika was practically horny in denial the whole time 😂😂😂 i wonder how much longer he can keep lying to himself, especially after Shisui called him out on his attraction 🤣

2. The A C T I O N was so awesome!!! I don’t remember if i’ve mentioned this before but I really love action-packed chapters - they’re usually my favorite ones. You wrote the fight scene so well! I also kinda sensed that maybe Shika was feeling a bit guilty for not listening to Sakura’s advice to stay together. Now she’s one arm less because of his /very rare/ lapse in judgment. Will we know more of Shika’s thoughts on this? He’s so very full of angst and distrust, I quite enjoy him twiddling his thumbs for being wrong this time.

3. Baby Kakashi and Sakura - this was a very cute image in my head. Thank you for painting such a lovely picture ❤️ I imagine toddler Kakashi imprinting on Sakura and following her around whenever she’s in their lands. But I’m also curious, what made you decide to swap their ages for this fic? I was actually waiting for Kakashi’s role here and was surprised to find him as a baby! Cue *canon-kakashi habits* but this time learned from/influenced by Sakura 😂

4. Saku x Boys and the inevitable jealousy that Shika feels from her interactions — MAAM I SO LOVE THIS DYNAMIC. It’s really great to see the other facets of Sakura that boggle Shika’s mind. I think it’s quite difficult for him to come to terms with the other sides of Sakura that’s friendly, loving, touchy, etc. that he’s recently seen, because he really really wants to hate her but he’s horny af so he’s basically dissociating (it’s real entertainment to us tho)

5. And last but not the least, W O W. How are u able to maintain the mystery of whatever it is you’re still hiding from us but give us golden bread crumb clues THAT KEEP US HUNGRY???? Hmmm??? So yeah my point #5 is basically my genuine appreciation for how you write the mystery and reveal bits of truth slowly without being messy? My first read was like “omg orochimaru” and my second read was like “wtf is he doing here?” And then Mito was also introduced and the Shadows mentioned King, Queen, Princess, Prince, etc. SO NOW I HAVE THESE BLIND ITEMS I NEED TO FIGURE OUT and we’re not even halfway thru the fic!!! (Not complaining tho im a masochist like that; thanks for keeping me on my toes)

*end of scream* i hope i didnt hurt your ears or anything… AMAZING UPDATE AS USUAL!!! And thank u so much for answering my asks and sharing your hcs!!! I was so stoked about the itasaku/shisaku/itasakushi moment you mentioned — if inspiration drops on this one, i think a prequel version of some sort would be 💣💣💣

Thank you for this update! I really want to know what’s happening but then.. i also don’t??? HAHAHHA u have made me into this… contradiction (WOW I RLY WENT THERE?? Yes, im super lame at jokes im so sorry) I’ll see u in the next chapter!!! (Or maybe earlier if i find something else to scream about!) LOVE U & LOVE UR WORK!!! All the best on your summer sem! Your beloved readers are rooting for you 🥰🥰🥰

🐱

🐱🐱🐱🐱!!!!!!

AAAAA HI HI HI!!!!!!! The way i was having an absolutely dreadful evening and morning and your message came in at the exact right moment omfg. I had the absolute biggest smile on my face reading your comments and just JIEFINLKASM i laughed so much thank you so much for sliding into my inbox. AAA ILYSM!!!!

Literally my beta said the same exact thing about the horniness in this one LMAOOOOO

she said and i quote: “man touched a ~hand~ one time and now he’s got like a case of the horny”

To which i replied: “no but literally like he wants to touch her but then he’s like ‘if i touch her ill kill her’ yeah buddy youll murder her pussy” BSIUANKJDBHKJNALD

Shisui is hashtag Done with this guy, like he’s standing there watching this shitshow go down like “god my life is so weird” and i think that is HILARIOUS

OKAY YES!!!!! Action is so so much fun to write and i really love the imagery that goes with it, so i always try to make it as entertaining as possible. Like the fight scene between shika and the first snake wasn’t even supposed to happen but i was like “fuck it! let them be fed!”

AND YES! HE DOES FEEL GUILTY. i really meant to hit on it more but it just never came up?? Uinblakdbknjds but we’ll definitely be seeing more of his thoughts on it next chapter!!! And he will definitely reflect and be like “i fucked up,,, but why do i care so much?? She’s the person i hate the most?? Wtf” AHAHAHA a lot of internal struggles with him in this one

OKAY YES! BABY KAKASHI!!! Sakura has 100% attached herself to baby Kakashi for more than one reason (...that i will address later in the fic) and he will definitely pick up on her terrible habits (aka: “mah” and being late bc i think that will be so fucking funny)

As for the ages! This fic went through so many different drafts before i settled on what i wanted to do. And actually this wasn’t even the first idea for the series. The goal for this entire world is three fics (Of Love And War, Of Gore And Magic, & Of Curses And Bones). The first idea sprouted from OG&M where its Team 7 going on a quest and a war looming overhead. And then I was like “but… shikasaku…” so here we are.

Originally this fic was going to be entirely about Sakura taking out the internal chaos within the Fae guild…. But i also wanted to exercise my angst and corruption arc skills so,,, hate to love! HAHAHA

So, to answer your question: i just wanted Sakura to be the eldest and badass bitch of the group. Plus, i just really love the idea of Sakura being friends with Sakumo, Shikaku, Yoshino, and all of the older generation. I can’t really tell you why besides “fuck canon lets do it” HAHAHA! Plus, its like a different dynamic having the woman be the oldest of the group and most combative, so i like to play with those roles and utterly wreck em

We’ll definitely be seeing more Kakashi in the next chapter because i love him and he’s such a cute baby :))))))

YESSS IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE SAKU’S RELATIONSHIPS!!!! i was thinking of you when i wrote the little Itachi and Sakura banter bc i do like ItaSaku and ShiSaku, they’re such great pairings!!! And Saku can definitely pull, we been knew AHAHAHA

ALSO YES!!! Shikamaru has just a narrow view on Sakura that he hasn’t even considered that she can be soft and open(ish) to those she trusts and loves. I think that’s a big part of the last chapter is Shikamaru opening his eyes a little more to Sakura as a whole, and that completely fucking wrecks him internally.

He’s a genius, very book smart, and battle prowess enough to take down Orochimaru, but emotionally, the PTSD and trauma (along with his own bullheadedness) has really stunted him LMAO

As for a prequel with sakura and then all her friendships…. I would honestly love to write that. Like that would be so interesting?? Being able to go back into even more lore and the development of the Guilds and shit… i might actually have to plan something for that,, even if its a short thing tbh. YOUR MIND>>>>>>>>>>>

IM SO HAPPY that you find his weird horniess entertaining, its so much fun to write. Like this man needs to get laid asap god damn LMAOOOO its absolutely hilarious and i can’t wait to get them to fuck, hoping i can do it justice OIKSNADL

Okay i am so so glad you’re enjoying the mystery aspects of it!!!!!!!!!! Its honestly one of my all time favorite things, introducing little bits as we go along and it adds to world building + lore (which I FUCKING LOVE). OKOK so!!!! I suggest you look at the INDEX (*cough cough* the gods portion *cough cough*) for a few hints or to grow your hunch on why Orocho and Mito are there 👀 👀 👀 (and who the King, Queen, Prince & Princess may be ;)) )

After this their relationship really starts to pick up and most (if not all… gotta check the outline) will have ShikaSaku interactions,, and more mystery solving >:))))))) WHCIH IM SO HYPE TO SHARE WITH YOU!!!!!!!

🐱, i will literally reply to ANYTHING you send me, i adore you and just you always make my day!!! Thank you for coming to scream with me AAAAA!!!! Also!!! I got your prompt and im going to start writing it as soon as I’m done with the lovely ShiSaku anon so AAAAA

And thank you, im def going to need to luck AHAHAHAH until next time 🐱!!!!! ILY!!!!

[madeintimeland]

im oversharing this got long sorry. just reminscing on shit ive thought about a million times over again

theres so much art i want to create and so little motivation. i should start smoking weed again bc every time im high i get my best ideas or at least like, it takes away the layer of film over my brain that stops me from being able to come up with creative ideas, but also im scared its going to send me into mental hell again. like i need to be in a perfect state for it lest i fear im going to invoke my months long existential crisis again and i Cannot be doing that shit rn. but also i wonder if its going to be worth it anyways if i can create something to leave on this earth again. like ive been so bad at creativity lately like i want to draw and produce things and im bubbling over with energy and i feel the ideas fermenting in the deep recesses of my brain like theyre nestled into the grooves and folds but i cant access them yet. and i know i can if im stoned. i might turn into a hermit hunched over my tablet all hours of the day just making shit tbh. i absorb so much of the things around me and i know if i try to make something now its going to basically be direct copies of the things i saw but if im high im sure i can actually create something new and beautiful. im scared of being intoxicated again but i was scared to drink again too and i got drunk and proceeded to love it and want to drink every single day because surprise surprise i have alcoholism coded into my dna and consequentially have an addictive personality in general. which is why i felt like my life was useless without weed. all up until i was finally able to get my hands on a stash that would let me smoke whenever i want versus when i would get a small amount every couple of months and completely and utterly fail at ratioing it out and binge it all and then have ridiculously introspective trips where id start to go a little crazy at the end (i have a distinct memory of looking at a meme that had a woman on it and thinking ‘jesus christ... what the fuck is that’ and then spiraled into thinking about how life is pointless but i didnt have enough weed to continue with that train of thought and if i did i may have had my crisis a lot earlier, it was just inevitable) i just felt like being high was the only time i could actually get in touch with my inner self again. like i used to before the thick clouds of depression and psychosis settled in. but then i finally was able to get high for longer than short bursts of time and it all came to a head where my brain broke and i have existential terror now that i feel im going to not be able to deal with confronting again. but every time i say that it never ends up staying permanently, it comes in waves, it all comes in waves. back and forth. i feel beauty in life and then i feel fear. i feel like its all worth it and then i cant stop thinking about the inevitable heat death of the universe and the pointlessness of it all. and then i get a hug or listen to a really good song and i feel like its worth it again. i wonder if this is just a period in my life im not a total stoner or if its actually permanent. anyways point is i want to make so much stuff that my hands ache and my brain rots when i think about how many things inspire me. thats why my aesthetic tag is #inspiration, its been like that for many years now, its stuff that inspires me. but at what point am i going to turn that inspiration into reality? im bad at initiative. my initiative is going to be when i pick up the pot again because im too lethargic and procrastinatey to create the things i want any other time. but when will that be? i cant see a therapist or anything rn and working it out on my own has been mildly successful, not bad, im not spending every single day in terror like i was at this point last year. it started all going away around august after starting in march. march 30th in fact. from then on its been a constant battle with dissociation. funny because just earlier in march was some of the best experiences of my life. i think if lockdown never happened this never would have happened either but at the same time im left wondering how anybody can go through their life without wondering about the meaning of it all and coming out the other side with purpose and resolve. mine was to enjoy myself and find as much beauty and love in life as i can before i die and enhance the lives of the people around me while i can because i feel too small to do anything on a grander scale. and im fine with that, for the most part, but i still get attacked by these waves of thought where i wonder what the purpose of reality is . i always have to smack myself and remind myself no dumbass you already went over this a million times, just enjoy yousrelf while youre here. but when im high its a million times worse cuz the only time i can get my mind off it is when im replacing it with horny thoughts and thats not the only thing i wanna do when im high ofc i want to experience and create and listen to music. but i mean i havent smoked since june. i think the 15th ? i could go back and read my journals to tell exactly when it was but yeah its been almost a year now and i feel like i might have it in me again. i used to love getting high and working on shit so much. some of my best works and most  creative projects and honestly just most enjoyable periods of my life were when i was high. going back to what i was saying about early march 2020 being the best time of my life, idk what it was about me but i was just having a grand old time experiencing absolute beauty playing ark with my friends, feeling so creative and developing new ideas and experiences, and using the freedom and motivation i felt ingame to also want to explore the world irl. i seriously was close to actually finally reading my survival manual and start camping and shit and i wanted to visit my relatives in their hella secluded farmhouse in the middle of fuck nowhere kansas, cuz i did visit there during that time period and i loved it to death, i felt so free. two different relatives actually and they both had that same aesthetic about them. of course they were horribly racist but i mean, thats rural kansas for you. i just wanted to camp in their woods. its funny because that month was simultaneously the best and worst of my life. all because of weed! if i never started smoking or rather never found a reliable source at that point in my life i wonder how i wouldve turned out? id like to chalk this up to fate that im like this, maybe its for the best, maybe smoking again wont help me but maybe it will. i have a way to ease myself back into it i just need that leap of faith and  bravery like i felt when i was drinking again. its funny because i used to be such a fucking druggie and i wanted to get high all the time and then after my existential crisis that all just. stopped. i feell ike everyone i know is sick of me talking about it but it really fundamentally changed me on the inside even if it doesnt seem like it much on the outside so i feel its right of me to talk about it sometimes. it makes me feel better at least. like this is jsut a thing t hat happened, not a fated break from the universe i cant come back from yknow? i dunno. ive rambled on way too fucking long and idk if anyones gonna read this. tldr i want to draw and create so many things and i have too many ideas to deal with but i only feel ill be able to unlock my creativity and motivation if im high but due to bad past experiences im terrified to get high again. i mean ive done and made some pretty cool stuff since then but the motivation and ideas are much fewer and far between compared to the absolute deluge i get when im stoned , whether any of my ideas are actually any good or if they were just high ramblings is up to debate but i think it gave me a really good way of looking at things and i made some pretty cool stuff and i miss it a lot but i dont know if going back to it is going to be a mistake or not and im not brave enough to find out if itll hurt me again or if im ready. yyyyaaaayyyyy hahahaha ✌