#im spiritual in the same way as ben <3

[fishnsips]

thinking abt ben comforting his partner whos maybe a little down or something like that and he ends up leaving different crystals around their house to try to help. black obsidian in the doorway to prevent negative energy from entering, amethyst in their bedroom for emotional protection. he makes them tea with st johns wort in it because it benefits mental health. subtle things that arent going to fix them but may help them feel a little better.

hes such a cutie ugh

[lovinggreeniehours]

🎫 here's a gush pass ^^ feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other self shippers! (@comfortingstars)

this isn't really a gush but i wanted an excuse to ramble without getting embarrassed hfshjhddj i might not be very coherent, and all of this is just me talking to myself (about arifive) so i can organize my thoughts

okay firstly, i am rewatching season 3. it is such a giant shitshow. honestly. hfshjfdhhdh now the thing is, the plot threads are so tightly knit together (same can be said for the whole show, really) that ive always found it difficult to self insert into it. which is why ari doesn't play too much of a role besides being five's self-appointed meatshield lol

i am rolling with it and making it related to his character arc throughout the story, but i also thought, what if i scrap him altogether? 🤔 what if he was still in the first apocalypse? we do see in the s4 trailer that we might get to see it again through the time-traveling subway(?) so the idea of arifive reunion there sounds. hmmmmmm. but then again that would present a lot of issues like awkward age gap that just. doesn't feel like their style i guess

that idea, i realize, is also just going to be scrapped right away though. five would never leave him there to begin with. that's the entire basis of their relationship 😭

however that does leave ari as a hanging thread with nowhere to go again. ive tried my best not to speculate too hard so i can roll with the flow as s4 comes out (in less than a week :DD) but i really do wonder. in any case ari's presence there, i feel like, would already create colossal differences to the canon events simply because he's there? 😭 five might not behave the same way because of that and now i have to rewrite the entire series. which is such a pain. honestly

like a lot of problems would be solved so fast if ari was there 😒 not to toot my own horn or anything hfshjfsfhj but i do mean it. like the many times five gets hurt and shot at would be solved very quickly, since ari would be affected by neither of that. that is a major problem on this show in general i think. it relies too much on the inconvenience of it all. they keep all their main characters busy and distracted so they're never on the same page, and therfore they all deal with shit by themselves for 10 episodes when they could've solved the problem in 1 by just talking to each other for more than 3 minutes,,,

this show is so so annoying actually how am i supposed to walk around saying "i like this show" when that is sooo not true i am the umbrella academy's number 1 hater at this point 💀 but also i have extensive knowledge of the characters, lore, and plot that is basically burned into my skull. yes i hate this show i swear

one way i had wanted to give ari his own plot (his main theme is of him growing into his own person after his childhood was cut short, after all) was his doppelganger, morgan, in the sparrow academy but im so lost on whether or not she's dead at the end of the season,,,💀 like sure TWO sparrows survived to the finale. out of SEVEN. and then one of them lived until the end (but he's ben so we're unsure about why he's here), but the other one????? no one knows where the hell she went???????? and the season 4 promo doesn't mention her at all 😭 😭 😭 😭 im so confused okay

one thing i definitely had wanted to touch on when i flesh out ari's arc is his powers. they are so complex and personally one of my favorite concepts ever. the power itself is actually rather simple in concept, just hard to explain

but assuming that there are multiple timelines and dimensions in the universe, ari's powers make it so that he is spiritually connected to all his other selves. at least, more so than the average person would be. this is why he doesn't die! if everyone else's souls are split into all their different variants', ari's variants have one soul connected together like a giant web. even if you cut one string, you still have the web, and it can still be rebuilt. therefore, he can never really be processed as dead (unless he cuts the string himself, but he doesn't know that)

that has always been so interesting to think about for me, and how that impacts his character, because then even his power is a direct parallel to five's. five is the traveler of time and space, meaning he can go anywhere he wishes. ari, meanwhile, is already there. always has been, always is, always will be

i was going to build up on that in season 3 and 4, since morgan is one of his variants but. 💀 um. she might have been wiped from existence altogether so i don't really know if that counts as killing her

tldr this show is stupid. it's so stupid it makes its characters stupid by proxy. if i put myself, a non-stupid person, there, there would be no more plot :( i am sad. but i will carry on with my watching because i need to see my husband very badly

[chessieglows]

Weekend of Exploration

It has been quite an adventurous weekend! I explored lots of new places this weekend with some friends and it was a blast! I have to admit that the first week I was here was somewhat stressful. It may be safe to assume that moving to a brand new place is always stressful to some extent. But I have learned that it is important to say “No” when you are overwhelmed in a new place and get invited to do things you may not be ready to do yet. This is something I have learned about myself that will be incredibly beneficial for my future endeavors and plans. That being said, there is a lot of amazing stuff I want to go over that I discovered this weekend!

Saturday morning I woke up feeling immensely better about moving, especially since my stomach has been upset from stress and getting settled, but saturday felt a lot different. It might have been because I was by myself this past weekend and felt a sense of independence, or maybe it was because I actually had most of my belongings put away. Whatever the reason was, it felt good and I went for a long bike ride around the art museum and around the area I live in. 

I’m not sure if many people know this about the art museum, but behind the art museum near the water works building there is a beautiful walkway with greenery, fountains, and a small trail that goes all the way down to the river. It was beautiful and a lovely surprise. I believe I might have mentioned this one of my previous posts, but i didn’t have a picture of it then, I went again and made sure I took some pics! 

The walkway also tells the story behind the Water Works which I found very interesting!

After biking around for a while I went back home and heard from my friend Meghan about going out to the bars that night. I agreed of course because I really wanted to see what was around me as far as bars go. We ended up going to Morgans Pier, an outside bar, which has a beautiful view of the Ben Franklin Bridge. 

So here is a funny story: Meghan and I ended up sitting at this table by ourselves and we were talking when a guy comes up to our table and sits with us. His name is Brian and he asks us if we want to see a magic trick. He is a pretty good magician and we are thoroughly entertained, although I can’t help but feel slightly worried that after his tricks he’s going to ask for money. Suddenly another guy sits down at our table across from Meghan and I, his name is Dennis, he introduces himself and Brian shows us another trick. Then another guys sits down directly next to me putting his arm around around my shoulders, his name is Tony.  Naturally, I grab my wallet and can’t help but question if we are about to be robbed from the sudden surrounding of people around us. Then I look at Brian and say, if you show me an incredible magic trick, I will give you a dollar. Brian laughs and says I have to show him something first, I tell him my face should be amazing enough and he laughs and says that’s fair and that he likes my haircut. Seeing as we haven’t been robbed yet, I relax a little and we learn that they are all doctors and just recently graduated a couple of years ago, and they are all actually very nice. They ended up paying for our Uber to Frankford Hall (Which I will get pictures of next time I go because it is BEAUTIFUL) and we hung out with them for the rest of the night. We played Drunk Jenga at Frankford Hall, which is one of the games that they offer you to take to your table with your drinks, and one of the blocks I got was to kiss a stranger, I found a relatively cute guy and asked him if he had a girlfriend, he said no and I asked him if I could kiss him and he said yeah and we kissed and it was hilarious!!! End result, these guys were actually really really cool and we had a great time with them, I would probably go out with them again if the opportunity arose because they were fun and respectful. 

So Sidenote, Frankford Hall has a grapefruit beer that is SO delicious. The only downfall of this beer is that it has low alcohol content. But if you are just looking to relax and enjoy a beer, their grapefruit beer is worth trying. 

Go follow Brian on Instagram! Also praise for people who have the guts to approach strangers and make conversations and friendships out of interactions which is rare to find anymore. That’s the kind of friendships and relationships I’m looking for! @Physicianmagicianbrian He is a cool dude! He basically made this card that I signed appear out of thin air with magic. 

That concluded the majority of Saturdays interesting events, it was also loads of fun.  On Sunday morning I picked up my lovely old roommate and friend @underthesea-insteadofaboveground Sierra and we explored Philly! Starting with the art museum, I learned something I didn’t know that Sierra told me. Having not seen the Rocky movie, I was not aware that Rocky ran the steps at Independence Hall in the movie. But apparently everyone at the art museum also runs the steps and takes a picture at the top with their fists over their heads like Rocky. This made sense after wondering what everyone at the top was doing after they ran the steps. 

My favorite part about going to the top of the steps is turning around to see the view. 

Sierra Photo Cred 

After the Art Museum, we went to South Street. I had 3 main goals for South Street: Find a store I couldnt remember the name of with Incense and Spirituality books, Find another store I couldnt remember the name of with fun and beautiful Nik-Naks that i hadn’t been to or been able to find in 6 years, and expose Sierra to the hilarity of Condom Kingdom. 

As we were waiting for our Uber, this gold man, who I dubbed the name 24k GoldMan, started chasing a dollar into the street, I told him as he came back that I would have done the same thing for my dollar. I don’t know if it is because I was just friendly or what but he said “Free picture for you guys for being so friendly!” Selfie Time! 

Kindness is appreciated, even though I’m not sure what I did. Maybe just being friendly! 

South Street was amazing! We found all three stores I was looking for. The two stores which names I could not remember were called ‘Garland of Letters Book Store’ and ‘Eyes Gallery’ both gorgeous locations with a lot to offer. You can click the names to go to their Facebook Pages and check them out!

These are a pair of Hamsa Hand earrings I got from the Eyes Gallery!

(In front of the Garland of Letters Book Store with my favorite Lion!) 

We also went into Condom Kingdom which has flying cartoon sperm on the ceiling and a fountain. It is very amusing and obviously by the name of it, is NSFW. It is not really a place to post pictures of, you really just need to see it and experience it for the hilarity of it, if you have a good sense of humor. 

Before we went back home, we stopped at Big Ass Slices, a place Sierra was very excited to go to because they have slices of pizza the size of your face! Sierra was very happy to model the pizza. 

It was an incredibly eventful weekend and I saw a lot of Philly. I highly recommend seeing all the places above because they are definitely worth checking out! Im going to conclude this post of fun-filled events with a lovely picture of Cowboy with a gift from my Grandma. 

Pretty Kitty! Also, adventures with Cowboy are in the works, that just takes a bit more planning. Until Next Time! ~Chessie~

[thebeautyoftorah]

BEHAR/BECHUKOTAI

bs’d

Shalom. Help yourselves and your families with the tremendous challenge to be stuck at home. Read my book 'Healing Anger' with practical and spiritual advice on how we can overcome anger and stressful situations at home because of the Corona virus. The thought this week of my book is: "Until a mere few decades ago, divorce was a rare occurrence. Nowadays, the divorce rate has skyrocketed to epidemic proportions — and in the vast majority of divorces, anger rears its ugly head. Ask anyone in the field of marriage counseling and he or she will tell you that a great number of couples go for counseling because of anger issues. They can’t communicate properly. They can’t find peaceful solutions when disagreements arise." Buy my book at http://www.feldheim.com/healing-anger.html If you want to buy it from me in Israel let me know. Have a healthy Shabbat Shalom. BEHAR/BECHUKOTAI-Making our Best Effort The first verse in Parshat Bechukotai tells us[1]: “If you will follow My decrees and observe My commandments and perform them; then I will provide your rains in their time”.

Face value the verse seems to be repetitious. What is the difference between "follow My decrees” and “observe My commandments”?

In order to answer this question we bring a Gemara [2] that teaches us the following:

Our Rabbis taught: Upon entering [a Bet Medrash – a House of Torah Study] what do we say? ‘May it be Your will, L-ord my G-d, that no mistake should arise through me, and that I should not err in a matter of Halachah [Jewish Law] and my colleagues will rejoice [over my embarrassment]. That I should not call unclean clean and clean unclean, and that my colleagues should not err in a matter of Halachah and I rejoice [in their embarrassment]’.

Upon leaving [the Beit Midrash] what do they say? 'I thank You, L-ord my G-d, that You set my portion with those who sit in the Beit Midrash and You have not set my portion with those who sit in the street corners [shopkeepers], for I rise early and they rise early, but I rise early to learn Torah and they rise early to do mundane things; I toil and they toil, but I toil and receive a reward whereas they toil and do not receive a reward…

At first glance, the end of this prayer is difficult to understand. Only someone who engages in Torah study receives payment and reward? What about a carpenter or a tailor? Are they not paid for their work? What exactly does this prayer mean?

The Chofetz Chaim explains that the key phrase is “toil” i.e. intense effort. In most activities in life we are paid for the results. For example, let’s say we hire carpenter to make a closet seven feet tall and he makes a perfect ten feet closet. We will not pay him, because we are paying him for the results, that he produces a closet that fits our space. So no matter how hard he tried and how much intense effort he put into making that size ten feet closet, he will not be paid since he didn’t produce the result for which we hired him.

Another example is in sports competition, it’s not about how hard your team tries, but whether they win or lose. Nobody gets a medal for putting in a lot of effort. The swimmer who comes in 4th place a split second after the third place guy goes home from the competition with nothing, no matter how many years he practiced.

When it comes to the physical world that’s the way things are weather we like it or not, but not so when we are dealing with the spiritual reality.

When it comes to learning Torah and spiritual growth one is paid for the efforts and the toil, not the results. Our Sages told us[3]: ..”The reward is in proportion of the exertion”. If one toiled hard at learning he will be amply rewarded for his exertion, even if one fails to accomplish a great deal. So for example, if we struggle over a difficult piece of Gemara for two hours and did not figure it out, we get the same reward in Heaven as someone who actually does figure it out. When a Jew tries to cope with a particular mitzvah (commandment) or has a difficult test in accepting a particular teaching of the Torah, G-d rewards him for the effort that he put in, even if he didn’t pass the test in the end.

Hashem has no dearer 'wish' than to shower us with His blessings. He therefore “begs” us, ‘Please learn My Torah and fulfill its mitzvot so as to enable Me to give you My blessings.’[4].

So to answer our initial question above about the first verse in this week’s parsha to be seemingly redundant  we bring Rashi, the great Bible commentator, who explains based on the Oral Tradition, that “following My decrees” - which is read in Hebrew bechukotai telechu (lit. “walk” in the path of My decrees) - means that we should toil in Torah study. Whereas the next words in the verse refer to the performance of the actual commandments.

It is difficult to understand where the Oral Tradition got the idea of “toiling in Torah” from the Torah’s words bechukotai telechu, which simply mean “to follow My decrees”.

We can answer, based on the teaching of the Chofetz Chaim mentioned earlier, that if the Torah writes that we should “walk” in the path of G-d’s decrees, it is indicating to us that the most important thing in G-d’s eyes is that we are walking on the right path i.e. we are exerting toil and effort in our spiritual journey to understand and integrate Torah into our lives, even if we don’t ever get to the end of that path.

In Torah and spiritual goals(correcting our middot, to fight the yetzer harah, etc.), our effort is all that counts, not the results.

_______________________________________________

[1] Vayikra 26:3.

[2] Berachot 28b.

[3] Pirke Avot 5:26.

[4] Here the word ‘Im’ is normally translated as ‘If’, denotes a request rather than a condition. Our Sages felt compelled to interpret it as a plea since it cannot be assumed that Hashem gives us the choice of either learning Torah or leaving it. Torah Temima. Le Iluy nishmat Eliahu ben Simcha, Mordechai ben Shlomo, Perla bat Simcha, Abraham Meir ben Leah, Moshe ben Gila,Yaakov ben Gila, Sara bat Gila, Yitzchak ben Perla, Leah bat Chavah, Abraham Meir ben Leah,Itamar Ben Reb Yehuda, Yehuda Ben Shmuel Tzvi, Tova Chaya bat Dovid. Refua Shelema to all the people sick with the Corona virus, Akiva Shushan Ben Natalie Penina, Mazal Tov bat Freja, Hadassa bat Sara, Elisheva bat Miriam, Chana bat Ester Beyla, Mattitiahu Yered ben Miriam, Yaacov ben Miriam, Yehuda ben Simcha, Naftali Dovid ben Naomi Tzipora, Nechemia Efraim ben Beyla Mina, Dvir ben Leah, Sender ben Sara, Eliezer Chaim ben Chaya Batya, Shlomo Yoel ben Chaya Leah, Dovid Yehoshua ben Leba, Shmuel ben Mazal Tov, Yosef Yitzchak ben Bracha. Atzlacha and parnasa tova to Daniel ben Mazal Tov, Debora Leah Bat Henshe Rachel, Shmuel ben Mazal tov, Yitzchak ben Mazal Tov, Yehuda ben Mazal Sara and Zivug agun to Gila bat Mazal Tov, Naftali Dovid ben Naomi Tzipora, Elisheva bat Malka. Besorot Tovot for Shmuel Dovid Ben Raizel.

[beachweekdramaturgy]

Definitions

Each word or phrase lines up with the character who says the line (or SD- stage directions) and the approximate page number since all of our scripts are just a little off. If you click on the links, you’ll get a gif or a video or a photo of what I’m talking about. There are also pronunciations. 

Raise the roof (SD-1): dance move, as exemplified by Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute

“Waa waa” (SD-3): a sound effect that the adults in the Peanuts comics

Over my minutes (LIZ-3): a reference to the technology- prepaid cell phones generally give the user a set amount of minutes to use per month. The user has to factor in incoming as well as outcoming calls into their monthly minutes. Since beach week usually happens at the end of May, Liz has already used her allotted minutes for the month. By being over her minutes, Liz is paying a per-minute fee for any calls she receives or makes.

Candy Kitchen (CAROLINE-4): a popular chain of candy stores on the Eastern Seaboard exclusively catering to beachers

DD (SAMMY-4): drunk drive

White Jetta (JEN-4): a type of car, looks like this

Fogo de Chao (LIZ-5): fancy Brazilian steakhouse all over the country, Puerto Rico, Mexico, and Brazil (though mostly in the U.S.)

Sophie’s Choice (JEN-6): a very popular Holocaust movie where the main character reveals that, upon her arrival at Auschwitz with her two children, she was forced to choose which child to get gassed and which would go to the labor camp, ie. very difficult choice

Bethesda Bagels (SAMMY-7): store with handmade gourmet bagels with a location in Bethesda and one in Dupont Circle

Mother Teresa (LIZ-7): a Roman-Catholic nun and missionary widely recognized for her charity work

Sister wives (LIZ-8): references to polygamy, two sisters married to the same man, in context of the play, Evil Liz and Krissy both dating the same boy at the same time

Gypsy Rose Lee (CAROLINE-9): an American burlesque entertainer famous for her striptease act, actress, author, and playwright. Her memoir was turned into the musical and film Gypsy. For Caroline, she’s the star of the show. 

Carrie quotes (GIRLS-10): “They’re breasts, Mama, and every girl has them!” is from Carrie, the specific lines are from Carrie directed to her mother after her mom tears her down over her prom dress; “Plug it up!” is a reference to when Carrie gets her first period in the showers at school and thinks she’s internally bleeding to death and other teenage girls throw sanitary napkins at her shouting “plug it up!”  

Greenwich Village (SEAN-11): a neighborhood in Lower Manhattan, known as an artists’ haven and is generally very carefree and hippie type

Smirnoff Ice (JEN-14): brand of Vodka, 70-100 proof, 35-50% alcohol by volume

Mike’s Hard Lemonade (JEN-14): essentially beer, 5% alcohol by volume

Tree pose (SAMMY-20): pose in yoga, looks like this

Bonsai (SEAN-21): a Japanese art form of growing trees in containers, looks like this

Harvard on the Pike (SAMMY-23): nickname for taking community college classes and then transferring into a “proper” university, “on the pike” refers to Rockville Pike

California Tortilla (LIZ-27): popular Mexican-style restaurant (actually was originated in Bethesda in 1995)

QVC (JEN-27): an American cable/satellite/broadcast television network that specializes in televised home shopping, essentially a TV version of Amazon

IM speak (KRISSY-28): instant messaging, basically texting over the Internet only

Solipsistic (LIZ-30): the view or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist, pronounced like this

GW (JEN-32): George Washington University in DC

Giffords (JEN-32): ice cream store that is no longer in business (actually was founded in Silver Spring in 1938)

Abercrombie (KRISSY-34): casual clothing store that targets tweens and teenagers, advertisements notoriously featured barely clothed teenage models

Aloe (CAROLINE-35): type of plant that soothes sunburn, pronounced like this

Dr. Phil (SEAN-39): TV personality that offers his advice to people who come on his show

Costco (JEN-41): absolutely enormous store that offers almost everything in bulk

Tempeh (JEN-42): traditional soy product originating from Indonesia, pronounced like this

Plebs (LIZ-43): short for plebeians, in Roman times, a commoner, pronounced like this

Seitan (CAROLINE-45): wheat meat, is just gluten, pronounced like this

Cosmo (LIZ-48): short for Cosmopolitan, a magazine that offers advice on beauty, fashion, career, sex, and relationships

Bop It (SD-49): type of toy that looks like this

Drano (SAMMY-50): sink cleaner, unclogging

Everclear (LIZ-50): a grain alcohol, bottled at either 75.5%  or 95% alcohol by volume

Little Lizzie Homemaker (JEN-50): a reference to the term “little Suzy homemaker,” putting Liz’s name into the term, refers to a woman who displays habits linked to stereotypical domestic activities traditionally done by women, based off of the Suzy Homemaker dolls launched in 1966

Nordstroms (LIZ-53): department store all over the U.S. with upscale clothing

Nalgene bottle (CAROLINE-55): type of water bottle

Bud Light (CAROLINE-55): beer, 4.2% alcohol by volume

Creme de menthe (CAROLINE-55): sweet, mint-flavored alcoholic beverage, 20-25% alcohol by volume

Cheech and Chong (TODD-58): stoner comedy duo consisting of Richard "Cheech" Marin and Tommy Chong, comedy based on the hippie era and counterculture

Up in Smoke (TODD-58): stoner comedy movie done by Cheech and Chong, is regarded as the beginning of the stoner comedy genre

Thrashers (TODD-60): a restaurant in Bethany Beach known for their french fries, now closed

Hot in Herre (SD-62): a truly iconic song by Nelly that’s all about taking clothes off, released in 2002, won a Grammy for Best Male Rap Solo Performance, sounds like this

Wong Kar-wai (JEN-63): a Hong Kong Second Wave filmmaker, internationally renowned as an auteur for his visually unique, highly stylized, emotionally resonant work (real sad but real pretty)

D.A.R.E. (JEN-63): Drug Abuse Resistance Education, a substance abuse prevention education program

Bob Marley (LIZ-63): a Jamaican musical performer, in the context of the play, Marley saw marijuana as a vital part of spiritual growth and medical treatment

Chunky monkey (SAMMY-68): flavor of ice cream by Ben & Jerry’s, Banana Ice Cream with Fudge Chunks & Walnuts

The Middle (SD-71): another truly iconic song, performed by Jimmy Eat World, was responsible for the group’s popularity, released in 2001, sounds like this

1970s swinger (JEN-77): a swinger refers to people in a non-monogamous relationship having sex with other people, swinging from one partner to another, in the 1970s it was more prevalent, though still viewed as a “fringe” activity because of its association with communes

Sex and the City (LIZ-81): a popular romantic comedy that ran from 1998 to 2004 about a group of women in New York City

Buzz nightclub (JEN-82): an electronic dance event in DC that appeared at multiple nightclubs, not an actual fixed location

Sabrina the Teenage Witch (CAROLINE-84): a TV character based on the Archie Comics of the same name, uses magic to get her way and to make many mistakes through the show’s run

Drive Me Crazy (LIZ-84): a 1999 movie about a boy and a girl who live next door to each other and date each other to spite their real crushes, however they realize that they are actually in love (unfortunately, they return from prom to find that their parents have also fallen in love, making them step-siblings)

Duncan Hines (LIZ-92): in Beach Week’s context, a brand of cake mix, amongst other baked goods

[thebeautyoftorah]

bs'd

Shalom.

The thought of this week of my book 'Healing Anger'

"We can learn and grow from every experience in life, or drown ourselves in blaming others and frustration. Ultimately, anger is the result of the choices we make. It is in our hands to develop the ability to modify the way we think, exercise selfcontrol, and not blame others. We must accept that the ultimate responsibility for our actions lies with us and us alone.”

Buy my book at http://www.feldheim.com/healing-anger.html

If you want to buy it from me in Israel let me know.

To join the over 4,000 recipients and receive these insights free on a weekly email, feedback, comments, to support or dedicate this publication which has been all around the world, or if you know any other Jew who is interested in receiving these insights weekly, contact me. Shabbat Shalom. Bechukotai-Making our Best Effort The very first verse in thie week's Parsha tells us[1]: “If you will follow My decrees and observe My commandments and perform them; then I will provide your rains in their time”.

If we look at this pasuk (verse) face value, it seems to be repetitious. What is the difference between "follow My decrees” and “observe My commandments”?

In order to answer this question we bring a Gemara [2] that teaches us the following: Our Rabbis taught: Upon entering [a Bet Medrash – a House of Torah Study] what does a person say? ‘May it be Your will, L-ord my G-d, that no mistake should arise through me, and that I should not err in a matter of Halachah [Jewish Law] and my colleagues will rejoice [over my embarrassment]. That I should not call unclean clean and clean unclean, and that my colleagues should not err in a matter of Halachah and I rejoice [in their embarrassment]’.

Upon leaving [the Beit Midrash] what do they say? 'I thank You, L-ord my G-d, that You set my portion with those who sit in the Beit Midrash and You have not set my portion with those who sit in the street corners [shopkeepers], for I rise early and they rise early, but I rise early to learn Torah and they rise early to do mundane things; I toil and they toil,I toil and receive a reward whereas they toil and do not receive a reward…

The end of this prayer is difficult to understand. Only someone who engages in Torah study receives payment and reward? What about a carpenter, a doctor or a tailor? Are they not paid for their work? What exactly does this prayer mean?

The Chafetz Chaim explains that the key phrase is “toil” i.e. intense effort. In most activities in life we are paid for the results. For example, let’s say we hire carpenter to make a closet seven feet tall and he makes a perfect ten feet closet. We will not pay him, because we are paying him for the results, that he produces a good closet that fits our space. So no matter how hard he tried and how much intense effort he put into making that size ten feet closet, he will not be paid since he didn’t produce the result for which we hired him.

Another example is in sports competition, it’s not about how hard our team tries, but whether they win or lose. Nobody gets a medal for putting in a lot of effort. The swimmer who comes in 4th place a split second after the third place guy, goes home from the competition with nothing, no matter how many months or years he practiced.

When it comes to the physical world that’s the way things are weather we like it or not, but not when we are dealing with the spiritual reality.

When it comes to learning Torah and spiritual growth one is paid for the efforts and the toil, not the results. Our Sages told us[3]: ..”The reward is in proportion of the exertion”. If one toiled hard at learning he will be amply rewarded for his exertion, even if one fails to accomplish a great deal. So for example, if we struggle over a difficult piece of Gemara for two hours and did not figure it out, we get the same reward in Heaven as someone who actually does figure it out. When a Jew tries to cope with a particular mitzvah (commandment) or has a difficult test in accepting a particular teaching of the Torah, G-d rewards him for the effort that he put in, even if he didn’t pass the test in the end. So too, when we work hard on ourselves to change and improve our character traits. As the Vilna Gaon says in the first point of the sefer Even Shelemah: “All that a person does to fulfill the will of Hashem will depend on his efforts to change his character.”

Hashem has no dearer wish than to shower us with His blessings. He therefore “begs” us; Please study My Torah and fulfill its mitzvot so as to enable Me to grant you My blessings[4].

So to answer our initial question above about the first verse in this week’s parsha to be seemingly redundant  we bring Rashi, who explains based on the Oral Tradition, that “following My decrees” (which is read in Hebrew bechukotai telechu, lit. “walk” in the path of My decrees) means that we should toil in Torah study. Whereas the next words in the verse refer to the performance of the actual commandments.

It is difficult to understand where the Oral Tradition got the idea of “toiling in Torah” from the Torah’s words bechukotai telechu, which simply mean “to follow My decrees”.

We can answer based on the teaching of the Chafetz Chaim mentioned earlier, that if the Torah writes that we should “walk” in the path of G-d’s decrees, it is indicating to us that the most important thing in Hashem’s eyes is that we are walking on the right path. This means that we are exerting, toil and effort in our spiritual journey to understand and integrate Torah into our lives, even if we don’t ever get to the end of that path.

In Torah and spiritual goals, our effort is all that counts, not the results.

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[1] Vayikra 26:3.

[2] Berachot 28b.

[3] Pirke Avot 5:26.

[4] Here the word ‘Im’ normally translated as ‘If’, denotes a request rather than a condition. Our Sages felt compelled to interpret it as a plea since it cannot be assumed that G-d gives us the choice of either learning Torah or leaving it.Tora Temima.

Le Iluy nishmat Eliahu ben Simcha, Mordechai ben Shlomo, Perla bat Simcha, Abraham Meir ben Leah, Moshe ben Gila,Yaakov ben Gila, Sara bat Gila, Yitzchak ben Perla, Leah bat Chavah, Abraham Meir ben Leah,Itamar Ben Reb Yehuda, Yehuda Ben Shmuel Tzvi, Tova Chaya bat Dovid. Refua Shelema of Mazal Tov bat Gila, Zahav Reuben ben Keyla, Yitzchak ben Mazal Tov, Mattitiahu Yered ben Miriam, Yaacov ben Miriam, Yehuda ben Simcha, Menachem Chaim ben Malka, Naftali Dovid ben Naomi Tzipora, Nechemia Efraim ben Beyla Mina, Mazal Tov Rifka bat Yitzchak, Dvir ben Leah, Sender ben Sara, Eliezer Chaim ben Chaya Batya, Shlomo Yoel ben Chaya Leah  and Dovid Yehoshua ben Leba Malka.

Atzlacha and parnasa tova to Daniel ben Mazal Tov, Debora Leah Bat Henshe Rachel, Shmuel ben Mazal tov, Yitzchak ben Mazal Tov, Yehuda ben Mazal Sara and Zivug agun to Gila bat Mazal Tov, Naftali Dovid ben Naomi Tzipora, Yehudit bat Malka, Elisheva bat Malka. For pidyon hanefesh & yeshua of Yosef Itai ben Eliana Shufra.