#im wheezing every time it pops on dash

[beelieveinfandom]

Convo from the 18+ discord about a very silly star wars crossover I wanted to share.

gremgeous the gem pillar Just had a GREAT idea for a star wars crossover Just dipper visiting the star wars universe for whatever reason (multiverse vacation maybe? Idk. Dipper maybe dusted off that old portal in a fit of nostalgia or smth) and palpatine finds him and tries to tempt alcor to his side by offering him power Standard stuff for the sith really Except Well If you offer a demon unspecified power, in what form are they going to take it if not in the one who is offering's soul? Biggest and best tasting power boost there is, really! And then maybe he takes over the empty shell of a body afterwards which may or may not grant him force acess and alcor has a grand old time making a mess out of running the republic (or at least running lose in the senate) This is like... early prequals or pre-preauals era maybe. When palpafucker is still undercover and being all covert and unsuspicious and stuff I call this.... "palpatines penechance for grand speeches and unspecific ominous statements to try and seem all powerful and cool and dramatic fuck him over" Or in shorter terms ... . "There's a demon lose in the senate" And it basically runs like that one john mullaney bit With a side dashing of that one journak 3 thing where bill posesses a guy, messes with a roman army and then makes a guys head explode Also like nobody knows who alcor is or that hes even there bc theres no demons or dream demons in star wars (that i know of) so he gets the run of the place Even moreso than back home in gravity falls bc no one knows magic, its all "force this" and "force that" Dippered probably spends a lot of time nerding out over the different alien species since they dont have those back in his dimension (theyve got aliens but theyre different kinds) and also about the laser swords (just like the one Grunkle Ford made for them all (Ford, Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Soos, Grenda, Candy, Grendas boyfriend, Pacifica, and even waddles and gompers)  back in 2017! Good times, good times.)

swbeeworm oh this sounds like fun

gremgeous the gem pillar Right???

swbeeworm if i was familiar enough with the star wars universe to write anything in it i'd give this a shot

gremgeous the gem pillar right???

swbeeworm like i know star wars?? but i don't know star wars n i have to know something to be confident in writing it

gremgeous the gem pillar Sadly everything i know comes from time travel fixit and semi-salty pro-jedi meta

swbeeworm but just.... the sheer chaotic potential of this...

gremgeous the gem pillar Gosh yes....... Oh its be so good..........

swbeeworm oh mood it would be

gremgeous the gem pillar @Abigor u like star wars too gimme ur thooooughts When ur awake and have them to give

swbeeworm ugh i should. probably not be awake, i have stuff to do tomorrow n i have a headache but this is fun to think about

gremgeous the gem pillar I had another thing thats fun to think abt too Clone wars era, alcors there and everyon thinks hes a brand new sith player b/c gold eyes

swbeeworm just the shenanigans. the bullshittery. the sheer what-le-fuck reactions of everyone from the senate to the jedi to the people ooooooooo

gremgeous the gem pillar YES!!! Exactly.

gremgeous the gem pillar Oooooh jedi can do mind things i wonder what alcor wpuld feel like to them

swbeeworm my first instinctive responses were: 1) constant Screaming and a whirlwind mishmash of colors/concepts/etc that makes everyone who 'looks' too long start bleeding thru the nose/eyes 2) wii music on loop and these are VERY different prompts to have back to back but that's what i got

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDHSGGSHD I LOVE IT Oh what if its both at the same time Ajdhegdhdj what rven is the music like in star wars anyway

swbeeworm the fkin,,,, cantina music

gremgeous the gem pillar Like how would they react when confronted w wii music

swbeeworm is the equivalent i would think

gremgeous the gem pillar Do they even have the same sorts of instruments do they even know what electronic music is

swbeeworm just. that spawned another Thought imagine that the cantina music from That One Scene is the sw-equivalent of the wii music and just.  just imagine that same scene playing but with wii music on loop in the background

gremgeous the gem pillar Gosh "wii music on loop" i love it AODHDHSHSJD

swbeeworm it would probably FIT they have the same vibe

gremgeous the gem pillar Im crying Mits so good

swbeeworm sdjlksdafj i saw a post the other day that was talking abt the music there n how it kept playing on loop n the poster joked that it might have been like,, the john mulaney salt-pepper-diner-story situation which is only tangentially related to this topic but i had to recall it

gremgeous the gem pillar AJSHH i love that Gosh ok i feel like take 1 would fit with the new sith in town scenario And take 2 fits with theres a demon lose in the senate

swbeeworm sfsdkfjh yES

gremgeous the gem pillar But how FUCKING HILARIOUS would it be if in the senate story its the former, and in the oh so serious sith story its the wii music on loop im akdhsjdvsjdhsjbd

swbeeworm ASLDJSLKFJ plEASE take 1: gritty, serious, angst, deadly miscommunications--and fucking wii music on loop take 2: lighthearted, cracky, shenanigans and bullshittery--and fucking bleeding out the eyes if you try n read the guy talk about dissonance

gremgeous the gem pillar "Big scary sith! Look at the yellow eyes! What dastardly plots cpuld he be thinking/partaking in....." [Hard cut to alcor pov/inside alcors head] wii music plays as he stares off into space during a supposedly very important meeting

gremgeous the gem pillar OH I DO LOVE THE DISSONANCE Gsjdgysgsvsjgd wheeze its so good i love it

swbeeworm me tooooo .....for the sith one. would ppl see blue fire n think lightning

gremgeous the gem pillar Theyd probably think its some other secret sith technique

swbeeworm fair enough

gremgeous the gem pillar Everyone thinks one of the other sith lines that was supposedly wiped out had it since this sith deffs aint the line of bane- even the cirrent sith wanna know where alcors popped in from "Lightning was the bane line specialty.... guess where ever this kids guys from fire was theirs"

swbeeworm= adjlsdfkjlfkjf the shenanigans n bullshittery one imagine alcor-as-palpatine just. going incorporeal, still visible but not able to be touched, and the jedi go from "what the fuck is going on"  to "why the fuck is he  a force ghost"

gremgeous the gem pillar AJSGSHSGSHSA

swbeeworm alcor, who'd done it only bc his ~ornate robes~ had got so caught/tangled on something he could only get free by phasing through it: ??????

gremgeous the gem pillar wheeze Alcor: how the fuck did this guy move around in these AJDHSGDH ALCOR NOT KNOWING ABOUT THE SITH- SHOWS UP TO THE SENATE IN THE SITH ROBES

swbeeworm asdlkjsfkjsdfdf

gremgeous the gem pillar CALLS IT A "FASHION STATEMENT" WHEN CALLED OUT ON IT

swbeeworm a fASHION STATEMENT YES alcor: :blobsweats: alcor: what the FUCK is a sith alcor: and why do they have better style than the jedi

gremgeous the gem pillar WHEEZE He doesnt know jack shit abt the jedi or anything hes just vibing!!!!!!

swbeeworm yesssssss

gremgeous the gem pillar AJDGSGGDJS YOU KNOW WHATVWPUKD BE EVEN BETTER ALCOR THINKS THE SITH LOOK IS TACKY AF

swbeeworm alcor: no listen. listen. i picked these space robes out of my space wardrobe because they looked cool, not because i'm part of some. some space cult ljflskdajfslkdfjsd

gremgeous the gem pillar BUT HE STILL THINKS ITS BETTER THAN THE JEDI

swbeeworm that's even better

gremgeous the gem pillar space cult im HOWLING

swbeeworm you KNOW he'd be so excited at being in space this DORK

gremgeous the gem pillar Ph gosh imagine it starts out all dark and serious and angsty and creepy in the whole beginning exchange But as soon as the day after alcor takes up palps role hits it takes a sharp turn into crack terriotry

gremgeous the gem pillar OH HE WOULD

swbeeworm yESSSS

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor takes one look at dooku and is like "youre the only one aroynd here with any sort of fashion sense" "And its HORRIBLE"

swbeeworm sljflskdjfsd

gremgeous the gem pillar Just roasts him And by extension everyone else too

swbeeworm dooku has NO IDEA what's going on but at this point ""palpatine"" or whatever's taken over him is ten minutes into a rant abt the layers on layers of boring robes jedi wear and at this point he'll take the backhanded compliment about his own style

gremgeous the gem pillar Akehdsjfssksgsjd

swbeeworm just to shut him up

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDHDJDGDJDHD Alco goes on a 30 minute rant on why suits are SO much more professional

swbeeworm snaps "palpatine" into a suit and goes "...except maybe for this guy idk if anything could make him look good"

gremgeous the gem pillar And its more of a backhanded insukt than a backhanded compliment but anything to shut the guy up, right?

swbeeworm how much we roasting palpatine here

gremgeous the gem pillar To a blackened crisp

swbeeworm as it should be

gremgeous the gem pillar Its better than his wrinkly old rasin look anyday

swbeeworm lskjdlsakjfdf agreed

gremgeous the gem pillar Be hard NOT to improve on that honestly But the dude sinks so low i bet hed somehow manage it

swbeeworm --alcor getting fed up w palpatine's body and just. showing up to the senate meetings, full alcor, eyes n his normal face n everything, in palpatine's robes, and when someone rightfully asks him who the hell is he, he just deadpans "i'd think by this point you'd recognize your own chancellor" and just straight insists he's palpatine (and has the knowledge to back it up) every time someone sputters

gremgeous the gem pillar Also i included the bit abt the journal 3 thing bc my saga of alcor repeating bill's patterns, behaviors, and ideas unknowlingly and without awareness that that is what he is doing shall continue >:3c

gremgeous the gem pillar AODHAJDBAKWJHEVEJDJDHSHSHSJWOWKJEHEE I LOVE IT OH HOW I LOVE OT ALSOWHSKJDISOSOAJAIW Oh gosh what if he fuckin

swbeeworm because at this point it's less about blending in and more about trolling the whole senate and being as distracting as possible  because with everyone paying attention to his trolling theyre less likely to notice the bills for clone rights n abolishing slavery n such that he's pushing thru in the background misdirection at its finest

gremgeous the gem pillar I was gonna say a thing abt alcor replacing palps b4 the election and so they did elect alcor to chancelorhoood But it might be funnier if he took him over AFTER abd still says that bit abt recognizing their own chancellor Oh gosh in that secind scenario it would be hilarious if the jedi are all  :blobglare: @alcor except for obi-wan who is all like "i am looking away" bc at least THIS guy (whiever the hell he is) has stopped being such a creep abt anakin

swbeeworm the jedi are sent in to figure out wtf is going on and. they, unfortunately, bewilderingly, confirm that this is the same person as the chancellor who'd been showing up recently??? same wii music/bleeding effect??

swbeeworm alcor, finding appointments with some random jedi kid on palpatine's calendar: wtf why is this creep trying to meet with a kid alone, yeah how about i cancel that

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJD Alcor, looking at palpatibes planner: "every day i am more and more glad that i ate thig guys soul" "Like i knew it was oily but im suprised i havent got an upset stomach from it yet"

swbeeworm sjlskdfjsdf alcor the next day, after finding stuff abt the order 66 chip things, gagging: "i spoke too soon"

gremgeous the gem pillar Obi-wan to the council: hmm? Yes this is totally the chancellor, i know this because of all the previous meetings and close relationship he has had with my padawan which you allowed and helped facillitate- "Palpatine":[has a completley different body type, height, and face. Plus he actually has hair and is maybe even floating a little but its hard to be sure in those black and gold robes- and with a completely different voice] oh, yeah, totally, Im the chancellor and i totally know who this guy and that kid is yup yup yup-

gremgeous the gem pillar [UGLY LAUGHTER] AkdjskkdkdjsysAODJSJEUEIEIIEF

swbeeworm ASDKAFDF "palpatine": [grins with very sharp teeth at a nervous senator] council: "okay that is NOT normal" obi-wan, deadpan: "i'm sorry, it sounds like you're discriminating against non-human beings? that's not very jedi of you now is it"

gremgeous the gem pillar ALDHDJDHD Wait wait no what if its "This is completely normal behavior. I, as a human, know this for certain" "I can do this too, but i dont, because it is impolite, but hes the chancellor he can do whatever he wants"

swbeeworm asldksajflksdfjsdf;jsdf yes yes beautiful

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor and obi-wan team up to be passive agressive at everyone who allowed palps and anakin to hang out ABOUT them letting an unsupervised minor chill w a suoer duper old guy Shoulda had a chaperone at LEAST Butalso

swbeeworm the other humans on the council: "uh, actually-" obi-wan: [manages to sip tea (which he shouldn't even have access to in a council meeting btw) with an aggressively polite smile and silent Threat] the other humans: "....um."

gremgeous the gem pillar "Thats not very jedi of you now is it" AODHSJSIDHALSVD IM HOWLING I LOVE IT THE SASS wheeze*

swbeeworm i live for obi-wan sass it gives me LIFE

gremgeous the gem pillar SAME oh its so good Love that one post where obj-wan is on tatooine and calls all the force ghosts to view his powperpoint presentation about how letting palps have acess to analin was a bad idea as hed been saying all along-

swbeeworm u need to know i wrote this with the "that's not very plus ultra of you" meme, which is a bnha offshoot of the "that's not very cash money of you" meme, in my head on repeat

gremgeous the gem pillar Ph him terrorizing all the people palpatine had in his pocket...... Ok this is veering into even MORE crack territory but at some poibt alcor replaces, uh, whats the dudes name, palps second in command - mess something-or-other? - with a nightmare Not just ANY nightmare But a DIFFERENT nightmare each day

swbeeworm ASDLSDFKLDJF PLEASE

gremgeous the gem pillar They took it upon themselves to go on rotation They couldn't decide who should go when alcor proposed the idea so its everyone One at a time They dont even look REMOTELY human Or like anything the galaxy has ever known or seen And theres no "secretive supernatural species" excuse for them to fall back on here lmao

swbeeworm random dude: "what is that???" alcor, cheerful: "that's my assistant" rd: "is that--is that supposed to be a sheep?" alcor: "no they're my assistant" nightmare: [sound that, if you ignore the reverb and microphone-screeching and kazoo effects, might be a "baaa"] alcor: [smiles aggressively wider with sharp teeth] rd: [sweats nervously]

gremgeous the gem pillar ALDJDKSIEJEHAJWJWHEI Obi-wan: i am still l :eyes:king away Anakin: oooh, the wool is so soft master. Come feel it! Obi-wan: really? Ooh youre right The council: ....

swbeeworm rd: "okay but this is a DIFFERENT one than yesterday right?? right???" alcor: "i have absolutely no idea what you're talking about :)" obi-wan, still with tea he should not have, this time with space whiskey mixed in: "sir i think you might be seeing things, they are clearly the same individual as yesterday"

gremgeous the gem pillar Mace: ...hrm it is quite soft- The rest of the council: ??? When did he get-

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDHDHD JUST LYING THROUGH HIS TEETH ALDJDHFJF

swbeeworm obi-wan looking mace dead in the eye and chugging his spiked tea which is more whiskey than tea at this point: "how dare you accuse me of lying.  me, after everything i've done for this council.  i am betrayed.  heartbroken.  never shall trust again.  i am leaving until i recover" -and promptly fucks off on a vacation with anakin

gremgeous the gem pillar The jedi start getting a LOT more missions about busting slave rings and giving aid in the outer rim - plus some more dimplomacy docused ones in regards to solving teeaties instead of putting down rebellions

-alcor shows up on the vacation with zero explanation and obi-wan at this point is like "fuck it why not" -a nightmare takes his place in palpatine's robes in the senate for the week they're gone

gremgeous the gem pillar ALSJSHDJDJSKDHEE Weirdly enough some of the more corrupt senators go missing after that week No one knows what hapoebed to them but the robes the "chancellor" wore that week have some awfully suspicious stains WAIT WAIT WHAT IF ITS NOT A NIGHTMARE WHAT IF ITS GOMPERS alcor didn't even ASK gompers to be there he was planning to not even warn anyone n just vanish but gompers just SHOWED UP the nightmares were the ones who put the robes on him

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor doesn't even KNOW gomoers is there He gets back after the week and is like "what the heck" The nightmares are pretty proud of themselves for that one

swbeeworm the nightmares, collectively: "this is gonna be HILARIOUS" alcor, halfway across the galaxy, sees a newsfeed of a senate meeting with gompers in the robes in his place, and spits his drink clear across the room

he's only mad because he didn't think of it in the first place

gremgeous the gem pillar wheeze Hes proud of them

swbeeworm he IS

gremgeous the gem pillar Its so HILARIOUS

swbeeworm i pity anyone trying to read this mess later but i hope we at least make them laugh once

gremgeous the gem pillar Same Its such a joy Alcor teaches anakin the secret to mabel juice

swbeeworm oh no

gremgeous the gem pillar Only the children thank him The minders.... not so much

swbeeworm alcor: "okay so what i'm hearing is, the adult jedi have been making Stupid Decisions and not paying as much attention to the kids, as evidenced by them letting that one kid have meetings one on one with the creepy older guy i stopped putting effort into impersonating a month ago. so, clearly what needs to happen is something that forces the adults to pay attention to the kids and start keeping a closer eye on them, but it can't be something that actually hurts the kids because then i'd feel bad" alcor: "...." alcor: :blobamused:

gremgeous the gem pillar akdhdjsgshsjhdsjdjdj

swbeeworm alcor in a totally not suspicious trench coat and sunglasses: "hey. hey, kid. you wanna try some mabel juice?"

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDJDLFKFIFJIF WHEEZE "With the creepy older guy i stopped putting effort into impersonating a month ago" ALDJDBDJDJDDHDHDJDJDJDJDJDJDJSJDJEJEJE

gremgeous the gem pillar AKSJSHDJDJF

swbeeworm star wars kids: "mr chancellor why are you wearing that" alcor: "because i think it's funny" kids: "it isn't" alcor: "look do you want the juice or not"

gremgeous the gem pillar I LOVE ALL OF THAT LOOK DO YOU WANT THE JUICE OR NOT

swbeeworm i am having WAY too much fun with this ldjsldkfjdsf;

gremgeous the gem pillar "Were not supposed to take drugs from strangersl" "Its not- just take it!"

Hooooh man thats so funny Oh gosh Alcor uses a different time/date system

Than the star wars one

swbeeworm ooooooo yes

gremgeous the gem pillar Nit super sure where im going with this but.... Pretty sure he woukdnt know the star wars one At all Maybe the in-umuverse knockoff calendar maybe Hes wnough of a nerd to have that memorized But the star wars proper one

No, no i dont think he knows that one

swbeeworm nope no chance

gremgeous the gem pillar Omg yes

gremgeous the gem pillar Well its a good thing we have this..... and the mistaken sith version too :blobamused:

WAIT WAIT QAIT FLASH OF INSPIRATION ALCOR GIVING ANAKIN THE STRANGER DANGER PPT

swbeeworm i have 1 scene i can think of that actually almost made my friend cry and i have 1 au scene of a different au of mine where a character who canonically dies and gets brought back to life...doesn't come back (which is extra angst bc this is a Ghost Seeing Fic) and both of these i wrote at like 3-4am

swbeeworm SDFJKSDLFSJf YES :blobamused:

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor: "you know, i usually save this one for the kids who followed the stranger with the nice candy into the alleyway and end up as sacrifices but I feel like you could benefit from it too"

swbeeworm alcor: "no talking to suspicious ppl" anakin: "except you right?" alcor: "....in any other situation i'd say no but if i say that you're just gonna up and leave (i see that grin thanks very much) so in this one singular personal case it is fine that you trust my very suspicious self"

gremgeous the gem pillar AKSJSJDJJD "My very suspicious self" Aksjdhdd

swbeeworm obi-wan, straight up knocking back shots now: "the man has a point anakin"

gremgeous the gem pillar Haha nice Obi-wan is taking notes Hes also re-inventing alcoholic mabel juice He weaseled the recipie out of the kids

swbeeworm asldfkjsdlkfjd imagine if somehow SIDIOUS CAME BACK and tries to take back over the senate but everyone at this point is used to alcor and one of two things happens: 1) they assume this is alcor messing with them with a clone/double (they don't know how he'd do it but at this point given his "assistants", the goat that somehow made more eloquent speeches than the "human", and the other things involved, they wouldn't put it past him) and just ignore him 2) they look between the real palpatine who'd been pushing thru some very sketchy bills, and between alcor who's been sneaking through law after law protecting all kinds of sentients, and they turn back to palpatine and go "how dare you impersonate the chancellor" and kick him out

swbeeworm at this point he deserves it tbh

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDHFDJDJDJD Ok i preffer him dead and gone and forgotten in favor of alcor (its what he deserves) but oh those are hilarious

swbeeworm agreed to both counts alsdjalsdk

gremgeous the gem pillar ESPECIALLY if the senate chooses to keep alcor over palps XD Ph man we can work that into him being dead and gone too- alcor starts dispersing the power and the other half of the senate w bail and padme are like "yeah seems legit" along w obi-wan The jedi only put like, a token effort into investigating and are more put out by trying to figure out what happened to the real palpatine and all his past shady dealings than exposing the current "palpatine" for a fake

swbeeworm palpatine: "excuse me?? i am the chancellor of this republic" councilmembers, with the same deadpan as alcor's been pulling on them all year: "sir, i think you're confused. this is the chancellor" [points to alcor, in palpatine's robes from his closet, making no attempt to hide his lack of resemblance to palpatine, with a nightmare at his side wearing a small top hat that proclaims its position as "chancellor's assistant"] palpatine: [screams of frustration]

gremgeous the gem pillar Once they reaize the shift in mission assignments can be attributed to new palp

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDJSJSJSBEJSJSJSHSJSKS

swbeeworm yesss this

gremgeous the gem pillar I wanna say maul gets the joy and pleasure of offibg palpatine the second time in that version

swbeeworm FINALLY they get a chance to pull one back over on someone, pass along the suffering a little bit

swbeeworm oh definitely

oh shit we've been at this for an hour

gremgeous the gem pillar Maul comes back and offs palps and evrryone is jist like "Maul!!! How?!?" And completley ignore the palpatibe corpse 2.0 Ajdhhd so we have Niiiight book

Also from a tumblr post the phrase "your pal friendpatine" is hilarious and i think yall shoukd enjoy it too As is "SOMEHOW... MAUL RETURNS" Both taken from the same post lol Okokok so switchibg tracks for a bit Revisiting Some groundwork for the mistaken sith version Alcor is there..... because al-v was there first, made friends with the droid army mid clone war, and caled his dad in to help Which puts alcors initial point of contact as the separost foot soldiers

gremgeous the gem pillar No matter what the dominant language alcor has most recently been using OH OH OH ALCOR WITH ACESS TO OTHER UNIVERSE SLANG CONFUSING ALL THE SENATE WITH HIS NONSENSICAL PHRASES AND IDIOMS AND SLANG/PROFANITY LIKE "over the moon" AND "hot belgian waffles" AND "fuck" "Palpatine": [drops paperwork he JUST spent so much time disorganizing (as in putting in a dissaray)] FUCK Senator: .... sir, what is a 'fuck' "Palpatine": ......... im not explaining that to you Or conversley he makes smth up Alcor, upon realizing the most common swear word is "kriff': yeaht hats stupid im not saying that Alcor mercilessly roasting the star wars profanity And how stupid they all sound. This one is great for the al-v and alcor make friend w a droid army and maybe-sorta steal them while massivelt confusing and mystifying everyone along the way, bc why not add a language barrier on top of all the other assumptions and misunderstandings >:D But also at the same time it would make sense for him to have got thw local language in an infodump somewhere along the line (maybe an older version) if its located in a different galaxy but the same universe........... but also what if theyre just suoer far away so he didnt get priority acess...... or even if he traveled back in time ............. [Shrug] idk Mwanwhile inexplicably having the same language is hilarious in the demon lose in the senate ons but also imagine alcor pretending to be palpatine while unable to speak the common tongue lolol I know it wouldnt work (he has to be able to understand palpatine on some level to take MASSIVE advantage of him and eat his soul) but it is hilarious to think abt the shenanigans............ OH GOSH ALCOR TAKING CONTROL OF THE SENAT BUT BEING UNABLE TO R E A D AKDBSKSKJFF Okokok Imagine the basic/english language inexplicably being the same structure w a few different words and concepts...... when spoken And completley different when written down SO ALCOR CAN SPEAK BUT HE CANT READ Meanwhile in mistaken for a sith land alcor either doesnt have any knowledge of the local language or else gets a SUPER OLD AND POSSIBLE DEAD LANGUAGE in an infodump (to help feed the misunderstandings and rumors and future clashes w the sith and the jedi hehhehheh) bc semi-omniscience is not total omniscience and so is not everything and, once again, is not very helpful But ill leave off for tonight on the thought of alcor, lose in the senate, in the seat of the chancellor, lord of all paperwork for the galactic republic....... and able to read NONE of it And barely understands it too (demons are not ones for politics, Brian the Organ Duck and his 200 year sucessful presidency run aside) (his is soemthing of the exception, not the rule.) Meanwhile all those humanitarian aid bills and the like are all being passed by bail and padmes group all over the place bc their strange and inexplicable source of resistance was devoured like, a week ago Not ones to look a gift horse in ths mouth until AFTER they get what they want the group passes a ton of bills without delay - and manages to break up a few monopolies along the way Now im not saying that "palpatine" suddenly acting off and the bills facing a lot less resistance is a noticeable coincidence...... and around the same time he stops asking after anakin ............... but im totally saying they notice it and realize its probably, absolutely, not a coincidence and theyre not going to say anything bc they like this new "palpatine" better. Despite all the other mindbending weirdness and mindfuckery going on there The jedi are only mad abt alcor bc a few of their own started bleeding from the eyes nose and ears when they tried to investigate initially so theyre a little ticked off abt that, which, fair.

Also the blantant lying and lack of trying on alcors part is a little insulting to them as a whole ("does he think we'll really fall for that") and is slightly concerning to them ("who the heck is this, someone is inpersonating the chancellor of the ENTIRE REPUBLIC-" Which is, admittedly, a little concern worthy)  but if the council is honest (or some of the council anyway) with themselves its pretty much the darn best entertainmnt theyve had in a good long while, headaches aside, sot ehyll focus more on the okd palpatines dissapernace and dealings than the new "palpatine" so long as he doesnt start doing anything ACTIVELY damaging to the republic. A little mischief doesnt technically count as harm- and hey theys preffer to find the og chancellor b4 upsetting and potnetially causing the new one to do smth drastic by attsmpting to out him (not that alcor would, its so much funnier to deny everything to their faces while blatantly lying but they dont know that. So caution (and stress) it is)

[boarix]

Wraith in the Ruins: A Fallout 4 Story Part XIV

Gen 4

Trigger warnings: canon violence/language/gun, alcohol and drug use. Animal injury/distress. Death of named/game-canon characters. Suggestive/mature content.

Bloody Mess warning!

Game Spoilers!

Please enjoy!

 “DOWN RANGE! DOWN RANGE!”

“I AM!”

Marcy Long and MacCready stood with their noses practically touching as they yelled into each other’s face.

“And for the last TIME, KEEP YOUR FINGER OFF OF THE TRIGGER! Are you trying to kill me?!”

“You just keep talking that way to me… I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE A GUN, YOU ASS!”

“Watch your language you… spoiled… brahmin patty!”

Cait, who was also taking part in the morning lesson, stepped back with an amused smile, “Oi, you two gonna snog or what?”

“I’d just as soon kiss Strong!”

“You should be so lucky, wench!”

Only a few yards away, Sturges, Shaun and Danse worked on Sanctuary’s large walk-in fridge/freezer. Duncan was within their view and was being entertained by both Panther and Dogmeat. As the argument’s volume was increased by Cait’s ire, Sturges had stopped and was alternating concerned looks toward the young boy and frowning deeply at the vocal combatants.

“How is it possible that I’m more annoyed by the sound of folk’s voices than gunfire?”

Danse, his face calm, holding a pipe wrench, walked with determined steps toward the three-way argument.

“Umm, Mr. Sturges… should we…”

“No way kiddo; I wanna see how this plays out.”

Large and imposing, Danse towered over the quarreling trio. Taking in an enormous amount of air, he bellowed at them with as much volume as if they were truant squires hiding in the Prydwen’s engine room, “LOUD NOISES!”

The resulting confused silence was so complete; it seemed as if time had stopped.

Wearing a smug smile, Danse stopped and tousled Duncan’s hair on his way back to work, “Okay, now what where you saying about condensation?”

Marcy holstered her pistol and quickly walked away toward the house she shared with her brother. When she passed Sturges, he could have sworn she was trying not to laugh. Cait was laughing and after a few confused blinks, MacCready joined her.

“Captain Danse, how did you know that was going to work?”

“I have some experience in dealing with difficult children.”

 The day wore on and after morning lessons were over, MacCready surprised Sturges’s group by bringing them all lunch. Sitting together in the warm sun with full stomachs, it was no wonder when they all began to doze off.  

Jerked awake when his head bobbed to his chest, Sturges stood and stretched, his joints popping pleasantly. Smiling at the assorted piles of napping people and animals he debated on whether or not to let them sleep: Duncan was using his father’s chest as a pillow and had a fairly sizable drool pool forming, Dogmeat had draped himself crosswise across Shaun, the two making an almost perfect “X” and Panther was in a cat-loaf on Danse’s chest and stomach, rising and falling with his breath.

“Sleepy synths and friends…” Deciding that there would be plenty of daylight hours left for repair lessons, Sturges sat back down and propped his back against the free-standing fridge. Just as he closed his eyes, Panther began to growl.

The enormous cat grew even larger with every hair on end. Panther had climbed off of Danse’s chest and was now stalking purposefully past the MacCreadys toward the settlement’s northern wall. Dogmeat was following close behind, his deep growl merging with the cat’s creating a sound that was almost harmonic.

“Danse, take my son. Get them all in the fridge. Now!” MacCready had rolled to his stomach and was low in the grass.

Duncan whimpered but allowed the large man to pick him up, “Daddy?”

“It’ll be okay, little man.” Training his eye just above Dogmeat’s head, MacCready could see a slight shimmer in the air as something moved between the houses. “Great. Just, flippin’ wonderful. And of course, I don’t have a walkie!” Unwilling to shoot without a clear target, he watched the ripple advance on the snarling animals, “Speak! Bark, Dogmeat! Call for help!”          

Tilting his muzzle to the heavens, the German shepherd let loose with a long mournful howl.

Phasing into view, the young chameleon deathclaw answered with a challenging roar. Focusing a baleful eye on the sniper, the beast dropped to all fours and leaped.

Rolling out of the way, MacCready vaulted to his feet and ran toward the wall. He hoped to lead it away from the freezer and possibly back through the fence breach. A pained yelp stopped his sprint and he turned to see Dogmeat narrowly avoid a swinging hit, bright blood already flowing down the dog’s right flank.

Panther seemed to fly through the air as it came to the canine’s defense. Once atop the monster’s shoulder, the cat dug in with both fang and front paws, raking the deathclaw’s ribs with its scythe-like rear claws unmercifully.

Taking the opportunity of a stationary, visible target, MacCready fired round after round at the beast’s closest knee.

The deathclaw decided that perhaps this herd was entirely out of his league and that retreat was the best option. Contracting the chromatophores in its skin, the creature blinked out of sight. Raking a claw across its own back, it dislodged Panther and cast the feline into the side of a nearby house.

Danse emerged from the freezer just in time to see the cat hit with a sickening crunch, “NOOOOOO!” Able to see the monster by the damage on its side, he rapidly closed the distance and with every last ounce of his strength, impaled the deathclaw through its wound with the handle of his pipe wrench.

The creature came back into view even as the light left its eyes.

Cradling the still form of Panther in his arms, Danse didn’t even acknowledge his astonishing victory. “CURIE!” Anguish and fear were clear in his voice as he dashed to the clinic.

Waving the all-clear and leaving cleanup to the Minutemen, Sturges and the children watched as MacCready gave Dogmeat a stimpak. The sniper scooped the dog into his arms and they all followed Danse.

“Looks like you’ve earned yourself some stiches too, puppy dog.”

  “Do you have to eat?”

“Wha...?”

“Shaun asked me if you, Bear and Billy have to eat. I told him I didn’t think so, because Billy… are you laughing at me?”

“No! Heh, I would never laugh at you, sunshine.” Hancock’s bed shook slightly, revealing his lie. “Now, strictly speakin’, I’ve never tried going without chow. I enjoy good food. Eating is… pleasurable. And we’re all aware how pleasure-centric I am!”

“Mmmhmmm!” It wasn’t just the ghoul’s own pleasure he focused on. “Ugh… I don’t wanna get up.”

Hancock pulled her closer and nuzzled her neck, “So don’t. I’ll get up in a minute and bring us breakfast. As ghoulish as you are, I know you still need to eat. Heh, we burned a lot of calories last night, you feel me?”

Wraith had spent almost two months in Sanctuary after returning with Duncan MacCready.  The group had stopped on the way to pick up Shaun and Nat and the children had formed fast friendships. Shaun and Duncan were already referring to each other as “brother”.  Nat had been sad when it came time for Wraith to take her home but she held her head high and said her goodbyes with grace. Hancock had tagged along and he and Wraith had continued on to Goodneighbor after. Now, almost a week later, Wraith felt her schedule creeping up on her.

“I’ll have to dine-and-dash; if I’m gonna get to Diamond city by noon.”

“I thought Davidson was on top of things over there. You feel like you gotta babysit ‘im?”

“George is dead.” Wraith sighed, “I don’t have a official replacement yet.”

“Shit…”

A few minutes later, Hancock returned with eggs to find Wraith standing next to his bed, rotating her left shoulder.

“That arm still buggin’ ya?”

“No actually, it’s felt better in the last few days than it has since my surgery. Weird…”

A strange smile appeared on Hancock’s lips, “So your ghoulishness has you heal by radiation, right?”

“A little. Not as much as you… now why are you laughing?”

Doubled over in mirth he could hardly speak, “You… we’ve been… ha ha… a lot… *wheeze*… so you’re… I’m helping…”

Wraith blushed but joined in his laughter, “Sexual healing, huh?”

  “How do you like the new pad?”

Wraith had wanted nothing to do with Kellogg’s property and Piper had tried to gift the home to Valentine and Ellie right after their wedding but they had resisted.  She had suggested that the home could be considered payment for years of dedication to the city and the detective’s aid in locating Wraith’s son. After much debate, they finally relented.

After working on Minutemen affairs for several days, Wraith had been invited to dinner at the Valentine’s. Now, enjoying a quiet meal with her friends, she couldn’t help but feel a sense of nostalgia; the domesticity reminded her of time before the war.

“It took a while to get the smell out from those darn cigars but it’s nice to have a separate place from the agency.”

“Ellie makes sure we keep all our work at work... keeps the clutter down.”

Wraith smiled as the pair made what could only be described as love-sick googly eyes at each other, “Speaking of work…”

“It’s been fairly steady lately. In fact, I just wrapped something up and surprisingly enough, I don’t have another case that I’ve immediately got to jump on. A little brake will be nice...” As if on cue, there was a knock at the door. When Valentine set his eye to the peephole, his smile vanished, “It’s Edward Deegan…”

“I’m sorry to bother you at home detective but this is a matter of some urgency.”

Valentine stood in the doorway, reluctant to let the ghoul in, “Don’t tell me, Jack’s got another wacko, alien abductee that I’m supposed to interview…”

“No, and I’m sorry about that, but Jack’s been shot.”

Wraith was under the detective’s arm and in Deegan’s face in the blink of an eye, “Is he alive? Who shot him?”

The bodyguard took a surprised step backward and tipped his cap awkwardly, “Oh… ma’am… I didn’t think I’d find the pair of you together… I suppose that’s lucky for me…”

“I’ll pack your kit, Nick. Now invite the man in!”

“I… I’m not getting a say in this, am I?”

 After the destruction of the Institute, Wraith had introduced Dr. Virgil to Jack Cabot in the hopes that he might curb some of Jack’s more “mad scientist” tendencies. The two had apparently hit it off to the point where Virgil was invited to move in and was granted his own lab space. Satisfied that they might keep each other occupied and out of trouble, Wraith had all but forgotten them.

Now allegedly, Virgil had kidnapped Jack’s sister Emogene, shooting her brother when he attempted to intervene.

“That doesn’t sound like Brian to me; he’s really not the violent sort.” Wraith and Valentine moved quickly through the ruins on their way to Cabot House, “He left the Institute because they were hurting people after all.”

Valentine agreed, “His first love has always been his research; doesn’t strike me as the type to lose his marbles over a dame. Let alone run off with her.”

“Someone isn’t telling us the whole truth here.”

“He’s bewitched by her and mad with desire!” Jack was lying in his bed with shoulder in a sling, “I’m not sure why you came here. I told Edward everything that happened. You should be out looking for her! Them… you should be out looking… for them.”

Wraith’s voice was gentle, “Jack, we really want to help but we need a better idea of what happened.”

“She… he shot me. He took them… her! I’m very tired now, please…”

“Mr. Cabot I’ll have no more nonsense today. It’s late and I left half my dinner and my patience at home. Tell us the truth. There is not a snowball’s chance in hell we’ll find them if you’re hiding information. Facts. Now.” Valentine had folded his arms and was glaring at him.

“Jack… they came all this way…”

Wraith was surprised to see fear cross the scientist’s face and tears in his eyes. She reached out to pat his arm, “Hey, it’s okay. No one’s going to hurt you.”

“You might, once you know…” Jack made an attempt at gathered himself but when he spoke, the words tumbled out in a confusing, panicked rush, “Emogene shot me. I know I told you I was going to destroy my father’s body but I was so close to removing the artifact…. His corpse had not even begun to decompose, even after all this time! Virgil and I began research on possible medicinal applications. Emogene was in a fury after I told her the serum would no longer be available and when she found out that we still had his body… she has Virgil! She’s going to make him implant the artifact in her! She hired some…  RUFFIAN THUGS! They took equipment and Brian… I tried to stop her but she… she SHOT ME! You must stop her!”

“Oh… Jack…” Deegan shook his head sadly.

“Am I right in thinking that if this ‘transplant’ is successful, we’re going to have a full-on, telekinetic psychopath running around?”

“Actually, she might be able to propel herself through the air…”

“Oh? Swell.”

Wraith had not spoken and she stood with arms crossed, face like a thunderstorm. “You. Promised. Me.”

Blubbering like an infant, the scientist pleaded for her forgiveness, “You must understand! We were going to save lives! We had you in mind…”

“Oh, no. You were not thinking of me at all.” She turned her back on him, “Ruffian thugs? Do you suppose she hired mercs from Bunker Hill?”

Although Wraith technically owned the trading hub, she left most of the day-to-day to Kessler. The Minutemen were responsible for security and Hancock managed trade routes, barter agreements and the regulation of independent mercenaries. Kessler made regular reports to the ghoul and if there were matters of concern, Hancock would usually take care of them.  

“Stands to reason, options are limited now that you’ve nixed the Gunners.” Valentine gave a mirthless laugh, “She’s not going to go to the Minutemen for help.”

Deegan seemed surprised when Wraith headed for the door, “You’re going now? It’s the middle of the night!”

“I’m sorry; did you not just hear what’s going on?!” She motioned for the ghoul to follow, “You are coming with.”

“Edward! Promise me… promise me you’ll save her!”

“Jack… I promise.”

 “They didn’t come back yet.” Irritated at being awoken, the usually helpful Kessler was giving clipped answers through a clenched jaw, “I don’t know where they were going either.”

“How many mercs? What group?” Wraith wasn’t about to back down.

“Everybody’s filing nice, neat records now that John’s keeping tabs on the place, right? Just point us to the company cabinet and we’ll get out of your hair.”

Kessler frowned, “I can’t let just anyone…”

“Am I ‘just anyone’?” Wraith’s tone was steel.

As if she suddenly remembered who she was speaking to, the now pale Kessler briskly led them to the correct file cabinet, “If you need anything else…” Trailing off, she retreated back to her bedroom.

“Found it; ‘equipment and resource allocation and relocation’ for E. C. Looks like they were heading to Vault Ninety-five. You familiar, partner?”

“Yes, I’ve been there. They might be planning on repurposing the vault’s medical equipment.” Wraith stifled a yawn, “That’s a helluva ways from here…”

“They have a big head start too...”

“Brahmincart!” Wraith smacked a fist into her palm.

“Bless you…”

“No, no; I mean that we’ll head back through Diamond city, grab some more heavy-duty ordnance and sleep in the wagon on our way down to Somerville Place.”

“It’s too bad the Hounds don’t have more… hounds.”

Wraith was surprised, “You would ride puppy-back, Val?”

“Sure! You only live once, right?”

 Wraith set a blistering pace on the return to the ballpark. Outfitting themselves and hitching up the fastest possible brahmin team took longer than she would have liked; making the prevention of the transplant seem less likely. The delay strengthened her resolve for an upcoming conversation with Deegan that she knew neither of them would enjoy.

“I want you to take this,” The trio had just finished a perimeter sweep of the vault and Wraith wasn’t sure if she should be concerned or relieved that there wasn’t a posted guard. She handed the ghoul an anti-materiel rifle, “It’s technically Mac’s birthday present so… maybe don’t mention it to him if you get to use it first.”

“What exactly do you want me to do with this?!”

“I want you to stay here. Stay well back from the entrance. It’s the only way in or out, so if she gets past us…”

“Now wait just a damn minute! I promised Jack I was going to save his sister, not turn her into red mist!”

“I know you might think that an AMR is overkill…”

“You’re FUCKING RIGHT I DO!”

“You won’t if that gal comes floating out of that vault and comes straight at you!” Despite his scolding tone, Valentine’s face was sad, “We are talking about telekinetic powers; she might have a debris-field shield. You’ll be thankful of a gun designed to destroy military equipment.”

“And that it’s precision enough that it won’t completely annihilate everything else around… her.”

“I can’t, Wraith.” The family’s bodyguard for over two centuries, Deegan could not picture himself pulling the trigger, “I know she can be a… a handful. But she’s not some monster; she’s not her father!”

 Wraith grabbed the large ghoul’s substantial biceps and gave them a squeeze, “Who knows what it’s been whispering to her. She already shot Jack. If she comes out of that vault first, then Val, Virgil and I will be dead and she won’t be Emogene Cabot anymore.”

 The elevator ride down was a tense affair. When the door slid open, Wraith and Valentine stood well back, weapons drawn and ready to fight.

“Who iiiiisssssss it?”

Wraith jumped as an oddly tinny and sibilant voice seemed to come from just behind her ear, “Emogene? Is that you?”

“Of course, lovely. Don’t be coy.” She seemed amused, laughing unpleasantly, “I came to greet you. I just knew Jack would send his two favorite gumshoes.”

Feeling an intense malevolent force emanating from the next room, Wraith reluctantly holstered her revolver and stepped forward into the atrium with her hands raised, “Emogene, Jack is worried abou…”

“DON’T LIE!” Looking once again as if she was in her early twenties, Emogene stood midway down the stairs. Her face momentarily twisted in fury as she interrupted, “That selfish fool only cares about himself.”

“Well, at least she’s not floating.” Valentine had exited the elevator to stand next to Wraith.

“That’s not true; he sent us here to save you.”

“Save me? Oh, dear we are confused, aren’t we? I’m not the one who needs saving, Wraith.” Continuing her decent, the woman moved with an almost snake-like sinuousness, “Just look! I’ve been reborn!”

“Where is Virgil, Ms. Cabot? I would very much like to see how the good doctor is fairing.” Valentine kept his hands raised as well, “We aren’t here to raise a ruckus; I think your family and friends are all a little worried.”

Now only a few feet from Wraith, Emogene locked eyes with her and completely ignored the detective, “I’m immortal, Wraith and brimming with power. I can feel it move through me. It feels so good.” She ran her eyes over her from toe to crown, “I can feel you… you’re like me. I don’t know how... Join with me. Spend an eternity with me. Be mine.”

“That’s… very flattering but I’m in love...”

“Yes. The ghoul… he’ll join us as well. John Hancock is rumored to be the Commonwealth’s most proficient lover. I’ll have him.” A pensive look crossed her face, “I have no use for your common human male, however. The mercenary is worthless.”

Wraith fought hard against a building anger. “Where is Brian? Where are the mercenaries that you hired?”

“They are no longer worth my consideration. You will grow out your hair; I want something to hold on to…”

“That’s enough!” Valentine lowered his hands, his anger getting the best of him, “Leave her be!”

“Mind your tone synth! You who threw his immortality away! And for what…”

“Love. Love, Emogene.” Standing tall, he lifted his chin with pride, “Haven’t you gotten tired of watching the folks you love grow old and pass on without you? The pain of almost continuous loss? Scared to see love die so you stop looking for it; only to become blind to it?”

“Weren’t you and Brian together? Don’t you care for him?”

“This fool?” Casting her eyes upward, she fanned her fingers and Virgil descended from the ceiling to hang over their heads like a marionette, “I believe I’ve told you; he is of no consideration.”

Wraith moved under the suspended doctor and raised her hands as if to catch him, “Brian! Can you hear me?” Overcome with a sense of impending doom she sent a pleading look to Emogene, “Please set him down. It looks like he’s choking!”

“Ms. Cabot, you can’t want this…”

“You know nothing of us!”

Emogene made an almost negligent twisting motion with her hands and Wraith watched in helpless horror, as Brian Virgil’s head was slowly torn from his neck. Although he couldn’t cry out, his eyes spoke of the intense fear and pain. Blood spewed violently forth, raining down on Wraith like a macabre waterfall.

Valentine drew his revolver and fired in the space of a breath but even that was too slow. Flicking her hand as if swatting a fly, the possessed woman cast the bullet aside.

“Tch… covered in that fool’s worthless bile… Worry not, I’ll wash you clean with my love. Join me, pet.”

Fighting her berserker’s rage, Wraith stuttered over her words as she shook, “For… how long? When will you get bored, hmm? Tear… tear my… my head OFF LIKE A CAP ON A FUCKING NUKA COLA?!”

“You don’t know what love is. You’re bitter and cruel, Emogene.”

“Fucking bitch.”

“So… ‘No’, is it?”

Raising herself from the floor, Emogene tucked her body into a fetal position even as the air shimmered and distorted around her. Raising the temperature through the power of the artifact, flames gathered around her until she resembled a small star. Then, reaching her limit, she flung her limbs outward, casting a powerful shockwave that ripped through the room.

Valentine was sent flying, coming down hard amongst debris that impaled him through his lower abdomen.

Wraith left a streak of Virgil’s blood as she was thrown violently across the floor. Caroming hard off of the wall between the stairs, she gasped as the air was knocked from her lungs.

It might take a monster…

Vaulting to her feet before she could even breathe, Wraith ran straight at her enemy. Just before reaching her, she activated a stealth-boy and vanished. Positioning herself behind the unconscious detective, she checked to make sure he was still breathing. After administering a stimpak and dosing herself with Med-X, she moved closer to the vault’s entryway security office.

As soon as she lost sight of Wraith, Emogene pulled items to her, including the remains of Virgil, and sent them spinning and flying around her in a protective shield.

I guess Val called that one…

Drawing both her revolver and Kremvh’s tooth, Wraith hooked a can on her toe and kicked it at the floating psychopath. Still under the effects of the stealth-boy she changed position again trying to find any available shadow in the fire-lit atrium.

“Come now, Wraith. We expected more from you!” Cackling madly, Emogene caught the can and settled back to the floor, “Death-in-the-Shadow! Ha! We know how to draw you out.”  Blood flowed freely from Valentine’s wound as soon as Emogene lifted him.

Seeing him dangle in the air with his life ebbing rapidly away, Wraith lost control. Unloading a clip from her .44, she then threw the gun and dagger before casting around for a larger projectile. Had she kept her senses she might have noticed that her enemy seemed to be having trouble with the volume of items she was mentally controlling. Instead, Wraith lifted a bed, stacked it on yet another bed, and heaved them like a spear.

The detective was dropped unceremoniously to the ground as Emogene instinctually lifted both hands to block the furniture. Her eyes widened in surprise when she was punched in the stomach.

Growling menacingly, Wraith kicked her for good measure. Picking up a bedframe she brought it down hard but the other woman was able to roll away.

Stunned, hurt and suddenly afraid, Emogene’s thoughts turned to escape. Levitating and propelling herself through the vault’s entryway she slammed the elevator call button.

Wraith saw her smirk just as the doors slid shut between them.

  “Val! Wake up! Stay with me, partner.”

“Uuugghhhh?”

“Oh, thank you. Here, have some water.” Wraith held the detective in her lap as she helped him drink, “What’s your pain level; how do you feel?”

“I feel… I feel like the south end of a northbound brahmin.” He blinked groggily, “What in the world happened?”

“You were skewered on some junk and I lost my head. I think I was whipping stuff at her but… she escaped. I know that much at least.”

“She took the elevator topside?! We have to go… uggghhh…” Making as if to stand, he was overcome by weakness and sagged back into Wraith’s embrace.

“Take it easy! You’ve lost a lot of blood.” She gently squeezed him, “I did my best to fix you up but you’re going to be weak for a while. I think the wire missed anything super necessary but I’m worried about infection. Heh, when was your last tetanus shot?”

“Never would have thought I’d need one.” He smiled weakly up at her, “Thanks for patching me up for the hundredth time.”

She kissed his forehead, “Remember these gentle feelings toward me when I have to make you climb out of here.”

“Climb…”

“Emogene destroyed the elevator car.”

“Oh? Swell.”

 Despite what she had said, Wraith had no intention of making Valentine climb the cable to the surface. Instead, she proposed tying him to her in some way and hauling them both up, with the aid of chems, hand over hand.

“No, Wraith.”

“Okay…”

“That‘s a terrible idea and not just because of the Buffout.”

Eyebrows pitched she shook her head and swept her hands out in front of her, “So, you have a better one?”

“Check your Pip-boy; they ought to have had some sort of parallel access shaft for maintenance and elevator repair, right?”

“Ummm…” Studying the maps on her device, a slight flush crept across her cheeks, “Now, why didn’t I think of that?”

Valentine chuckled, “Because you were gung-ho about showing off your Marine rope climbing skills?”

“I was really good at it; no legs all arms.” The screen cast a green glow on her face and she bit her lip as she concentrated. “It looks… it looks like you’re right.”

“Naturally.”

“Still, it’s a ladder. That’s going to be a lot of climbing...”

“I’m not going to let you truss me up to dangle from you like a bindle!”

 The trip up was long and arduous. Valentine went first so that if he lost his grip, Wraith might catch him. And they had to make frequent stops so the weakened detective could gather what little strength he could to make it “just one more floor”.

At one point, noticing how hard he was breathing, Wraith climbed up and positioned her limbs around him, “Let go and rest, Val. I won’t let you fall; your wife would never forgive me.”

“Would… I… be… a… good father?”

Despite the lack of context, she didn’t even hesitate, “Yup. You’d make the best pop ever!”

“Don’t even… know if… we can…”

“Worth a shot, right?” Wraith felt herself start to choke up, “If not, there are a few kids without parents that would be very happy to be Valentines.”

“It’s… a little… I’m scared actually.”

“Of course! You wouldn’t be the responsible Detective Nick Valentine if you didn’t appreciate the gravity of the situation.”

“Uhhgg… don’t mention gravity!”

 Once on the surface, Wraith carried the now unconscious Valentine to Somerville Place. The clinic there was small, and he would need follow-up care but the medic was proficient and the detective was soon stable and resting comfortably.

“We have a problem, General Wraith.” The settlement’s head had pulled her aside and pointed toward the river, “That Edward Deegan fella is still here. He’s drunk, scary and won’t leave.”

“Oh…”

When the ghoul saw her he couldn’t stop the smile of relief that crossed his scarred face. It was quickly replaced by anger and he staggered to his feet and rushed her while pointing a shaking finger at her face, “You! YOU ASS!” Balling up his fist, it looked as if he might strike her. Instead he started to sob and dropped to his knees, “Why… why did I have to kill her?”

“Deegan… I’m so sorry…”

“No… I… this is all my fault. I was supposed to protect them. How could I let this happen?! How will I ever tell Jack?”

“I will be there with you when you do. I’ll help you.” She set a gentle hand on his shoulder, “Physical labor and cleaning.”

“What… what?”

“Two things that help me work through grief. While I’m waiting on the transport for Val I’m going back in the vault to get Virgil’s remains.”

Deegan watched her walk away for a minute before sighing deeply and following after.

 Later, Wraith sat in a chair next to Valentine’s bed, trying to decide if she had failed. Waking up, he reached out and patted her hand.

“Doll face, don’t go thinking that you’re somehow to blame for this.”

“I didn’t make sure Jack destroyed his father’s body. I didn’t make sure the artifact was destroyed or hidden or…”

“You trusted them, that’s not on you.”

“You can’t trust everyone…”

“You,” He flinched as he sat up straighter, “you sound like Deacon.”

“Yeah…” She faked a smile; trying to put on a brave face for her friend, “I sent a courier so there should be a cart here soon. The ride back to the city is going to be a little rough…”

“Suppose I’ll just have to have some more Med-X, huh?”

“Shocking! Detective Valentine on chems!”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t tell John, he’ll never let me hear the end of it. Also, Wraith… the caps on Nuka Cola aren’t supposed to be twist-off…”

 When Hancock didn’t answer her knock, Fahrenheit took a deep centering breath before letting herself into his office. Her relief to see he wasn’t engaged in anything embarrassing quickly dissipated when she saw the melancholy look on his face. Seated at his desk, he stared out a window with a letter in his hand and an empty container of Mentats at his elbow.

“That a letter from Wraith?”

Jerking slightly he turned and smiled at her, “Oh, hey Fahr. Did I miss a meeting?”

“No. It’s been a while since Wraith left and you’ve a tendency to become… lugubrious, the longer you’re without her.”

He smiled at her verbiage, “Fancy depression, huh?”

“Yes. I try to make it a point to check in on you.” She stabbed a finger at the letter, “What is that?”

Irritation and sadness passed over his face, “It’s a update from the Sunglassed Ass.”

“Things are bad.”

“No, no they’re just fine… don’t really want to talk about him…”

“Very well, would you like to play chess?”

“Always!”    

A few minutes into the game Fahrenheit noticed that the ghoul was toying with a defeated pawn. It was unlike him to fidget during matches and combined with his obvious distress over the letter she decided to push the issue. Subtly of course.

“Regrets over your gambit?”

“Hmm?” He frowned at the piece in his hand before setting it back on the table, “Sorry, I took too much and now I’m spinnin’ in my mental loop.”

“It’s interesting what some individuals consider acceptable loss.” Advancing her knight she took another pawn, “That’s why I think Deacon would have been a worthy opponent; his agenda is paramount. Very few distractions.”

Hancock scoffed, “Unless you count Wraith.”

“Did he?”

“I said I didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Right.”

Suddenly standing, the mayor crossed his hands behind his back and began to pace, “He’s always been a pain in my ass; showin’ up outta nowhere… but he was here. Helping. I’ve been a part of the Railroad since I took over but he’s always made sure no one knew. He told Wraith that I ‘turn a blind eye’...”

“Lies from a liar.”

“You know, he was on this faux fruit kick for a bit; would leave bananas in my boots. Complete fuckin’ nonsense from him, all the time…”

“The balloons.” The memory made her frown.

“Exactly! So why is it that I’m missing him being… here?” He was gesticulating wildly now, “I’ll fuckin’ tell you why; Wraith! She loves him! I know she does. And he loves her. And I love her. If she can love someone, then there must be some worth to ‘em.”

“It’s interesting how you don’t apply the same logic to yourself…”

He dismissed her with a wave, “She would have died without his help. It’s possible that, at some point I could have been axed, had he not been there to prevent it!”

“And so, what?”

“He could have come back by now. He’s repaired their infrastructure, set up new safe houses, appointed new agents… He’s not comin’ back though. You know why?”

“Do tell.”

“Because he knows that he loves her and that is dangerous. And he doesn’t think that he’s good enough. He told me himself he doesn’t deserve…”

Fahrenheit’s laugh was humorless, “This from the ghoul who staged a fight with her because, ‘it’s what’s best for her’.” She drummed her nails on the chessboard in irritation, “She is one of the most capable people I’ve ever met, and you foolish men treat her like a child.”

Looking abashed, Hancock sat back down, “Suppose… yeah.”

“Your self-sabotage knows no bounds, does it?” She leaned forward and caught his eye, “Do you really want him to return, profess his love and carry her off into the sunset? Do you find her so fickle? Nonsense indeed!” Leaning back she folded her arms, “No, she’s chosen you and MacCready; may the heavens have mercy!”

“I’m being stupid.”

“You… need her. She levels you out.”

“Sorry, Fahr. Wanna finish the match?”

“No. I see the empty box of Mentats, there’s no way I could defeat you tonight. This was a ruse.”

He feigned shock, “Using my beloved chess against me? No Fahr, tonight you definitely defeated me.”

“I’m pregnant.”

Hancock froze. He stood up. He sat back down only to stand up immediately again.

“You… going to keep doing that?”

“Baby?”

“Yes, potentially; if the pregnancy is successful, I will give birth to a baby.”

He sat back down, “Baby?”

“Oh, boy... It’s going to be like that, huh?”

He stood back up and began rushing around his office, grabbing various items and putting them in his coat pockets, “We should leave right now!”

Alarmed and confused she stood up as well, “Leave and go where? Hancock? Hey stop! Dad, stop!”

“You… called me… you called me dad?”

Taking his scarred hands in hers, she led him to the couch, “Yes, dad. Leave and go where?”

“Sanctuary. Amari doesn’t have ultrasound. Pregnant daughter needs ultrasounds.”

“All those chems and I still managed to shock your intelligence down to a super mutant’s.” She pulled him to her and hugged him tightly, “I’ve already talked to Amari; she sent a letter to Curie and everything will be fine.”

“Does Michael know?”

“Yes, this was all carefully thought out and planned.”

“Of course.” He sniffled, fighting tears.

“You can cry if you want, grandpa.”

So he did.

  “… and daddy and Pants-her and Doggy and Mr. Cap’n all fought it! The kitty was hurt bad and Mr. Cap’n was very sad but he’s all better now and Curie is a really good docker!”

“Wow Dunk, that sounds scary!”

The small boy puffed his chest, “No I wasnit, Waif! Daddy ‘nd Mr. Cap’n are really good and Shaun was there!”

“Thank you very much for telling me.”

Wraith held Duncan’s hand as he and Shaun escorted her from Sanctuary’s main gate. She had already been updated when she met with Cait at the Red Rocket but she enjoyed his enthusiastic story-telling.

“Your daddy on duty?”

“Yup. He’s the best shooter-man!”

“He sure is, honey.”

“Hey grandma, Curie says she needs to talk to you as soon as you got back.”

“Okay,” Passing Duncan’s hand to his she stopped and stared hard at Shaun, “You grew.”

“Jeez, grandma! You say that like it’s bad.”

“I’ll have to measure you again… ugh. That’s it; I’m teaching you both to sew!”

Shaun laughed, “If I’m making my own clothes does that mean that they can look however I want?”

She stuck out her hand, “Deal!”

 After visiting briefly with MacCready, Wraith jogged to the clinic. The loveseat in Curie’s office was over-full with napping Danse, Panther and Dogmeat. Wraith stifled a giggle as all three were snoring.

“Psst! Madame…” Curie waved Wraith into her lab, embracing her once she was inside, “Bonjour! I am so very happy to see you return safe.”

“Thanks, Baby Bird. Shaun said you wanted to see me?”

Suddenly nervous, Curie knit her fingers together and held them to lips, “I have made a discovery. It might be shocking to you, so please sit.”

“Uh, oh. What is it?”

Pulling another chair across form Wraith’s, the doctor sat and reached out to hold her hands, “We have long suspected that Panther was a synth, oui? As you probably know le chat was gravely injured defending against the deathclaw. Mon ours was so distraught!” She frowned at the memory, “I did my best and thankfully I was able to save our dear friend.”

“Thank you, Curie. We all love that cat.”

Curie’s face was grave, “I analyzed some of the blood samples I obtained, for science, and I found that…”

“Tell me.”

“DNA from your late husband was used to create Panther.”

“Yes, I know.”

Shocked, Curie’s mouth worked, opening and shutting as she tried to find the words, “How… who… when?”

“Okay, probably should re-phrase that. I have long suspected that at some point Father would have harvested some of Nate’s… information.” Wraith smiled, “I know it sounds odd but when I first saw Panther, my thought was ‘that’s Nate’.”

“Why have you never told me this? I could have verified for you…”

Wraith took her by the shoulders and hugged her again, “Don’t worry about it! The cat isn’t literally him… Sure they act alike in some respects but… No, it’s fine. I will always love Nate. He is gone now though, and I have done my best to move on. I can’t be always looking for his shadow in everyone I meet.”

“That is most poetic, madame.”

“Thanks, Baby Bird.” Wraith stood up, “Was there anything else? I need to go meet with Sofie.”

“Mademoiselle Fahrenheit is pregnant and Ellie Valentine as well.”

Wraith sat back down.

  Thank you so much for reading! Like what you read? Looking for more? Please see my master-link post tagged under Wraith in the Ruins in my bio. As always, if you have any questions/comments/concerns, my ask is open to you. Anon too! I’d love to hear from you. =^..^=

[ravetalkstothevoid]

stuck.

‘Regret’ was too mild a word to express the emotion Hanzo felt.

In fact, there was no one word in either English or Japanese that accurately described the overwhelming urge that Hanzo felt to draw his neck into his body like a turtle and die quietly. His face had turned such a beet red, that even the strongest sake in Hanamura would not be a credible excuse. Ah, sake– Hanzo would have killed for his drunkenness back. In fact, he may still kill, as Genji’s maddening cackles taunted him and added more color to his face.

Hanzo’s body metabolized alcohol too quickly so he didn’t tend to get too drunk or stay too drunk on a regular day, but getting himself stuck in the McDonald’s play area jungle gym had sobered him up quicker than he had ever sobered before. It left him in a shocked stupor– he still wasn’t entirely sure this was really happening. More than that, he had no idea how Genji had convinced him to attempt something as idiotic as playing in the children’s structure. He guessed the credit was largely due to his inebriated state rather than to Genji’s “masterful persuasion techniques", which is what he had wheezed to the distressed McDonald’s employee who had come at the sound of Genji’s howling laughter and Hanzo’s furious yelling. The three awaited the arrival of the fire department; an odd mixture of unchecked fury, delight, and overwhelming anxiety making the bright colors of the play area seem sarcastic.

Hanzo kicked out with his legs for the umpteenth time, as he could not strangle Genji since his top half was trapped in the maw of the magenta slide that he had attempted to scurry up like he had seen children do. His voice echoed ominously when he roared, “WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, I AM GOING TO RIP EVERY HAIR ONE BY ONE FROM YOUR RIDICULOUS GREEN HEAD, THEN KNIT A ROPE FROM THE STRANDS, WITH WHICH I WILL THEN STRANGLE YOU TO DEATH.”

There was a moment of silence and then a new voice chuckled quietly and caused a fresh wave of shame to come crashing over Hanzo’s crown, “I ain’t never heard a more eloquent threat in my life.”

The accompanying chuckles that followed were nearly drowned out by Genji’s prolonged wheezing. The firefighters had arrived, but at what cost? (Answer: Hanzo’s pride.) Though Hanzo was grateful, he ground his teeth noisily at the teasing note in the firefighter’s voice.

“Get me out of here immediately,” Hanzo blurted, thankful that the reverberating echo created by the slide had hidden the embarrassment in his voice.

“So soon?” The firefighter teased. “I was just startin’ to enjoy the view.” Hanzo’s indignant sputtering nearly drowned out the firefighter as he delivered instructions to his crew. Hanzo was only able to catch what sounded like “we’ll lube ‘im up like a virgin on her weddin’ night” which made more sense than Hanzo wanted it to and frightened him so severely that he went perfectly still and silent.

A soft shuffling, which Hanzo could only guess was the sound of the crew carrying out the assumed leader’s instructions ensued. The Southern firefighter voice came again, a roll of soft consonants that soothed Hanzo despite himself, “Howdy, the name’s Cap'n Jesse McCree, from fire station six.“

“Thank you for coming,” Genji piped up. “I am Genji Shimada and this fantastic ass is my brother, Hanzo.” Genji smacked Hanzo none too gently on his left asscheek making Hanzo yelp in shock and spit Japanese profanity from between gritted teeth like an offended cat.

“Nice to meet y'all,” Captain McCree offered. “Yer ass really is fantastic.”

“I assure you, it looks even better when it is not lodged in a hot pink children’s slide.” Hanzo ground out haughtily.

McCree laughed, “I don’t doubt that for a second. So Hanzo, we’ll be attemptin’ to use an oil-based lubricant to slide you on outta there, alright? Hang tight for just a sec, sugar.”

“I can do nothing but ‘hang tight’, Mr. McCree!“ Hanzo quipped exasperatedly. McCree chuckled sympathetically in response and Genji stifled a snort.

“Do you think the lube’ll work over his clothes?” A female voice inquired, heavy footfalls indicating that the crew had returned.

“I reckon it’ll have to, Amari,” mused the Captain. “I’d like to wine and dine ‘im like a proper gentleman before I see ‘im without clothes on. Ain’t that right, honey?” A gentle hand against his lower back let Hanzo know he was being spoken to.

“The only wining and dining we will be doing is in your dreams, cowman.” Hanzo said scathingly, causing uproarious laughter– particularly from the fire Captain.

“We’ll see if I can’t win you over, honeysuckle,” The firefighter said. “Oxton, shed yer gear and see if ya can’t shimmy on up to the top of the slide and throw some lubricant down to Hanzo.” It almost bothered Hanzo how familiarly McCree addressed him. Already, he found the fire chief brash and overwhelming and vulgar– all the things Hanzo regarded as absolutely horrendous. And yet, still he found himself enticed by the Captain in the most curious way.

“Righty-o!” Came a chipper female voice. Some aggressively shuffling and violent shaking of the entire jungle gym structure (during which Hanzo proceeded to gracelessly panic and shout profanities) later, a head popped up high up at the top of the slide. A small girl with short brown hair grinned widely down at Hanzo and gave him an enthusiastic wave which he half-heartedly returned.

“Oi, Captain!” Oxton shouted, voice echoing. “‘E’s a reeeaaalll looker!” Jovial laughter once again led by McCree’s belly-laugh sounded and Hanzo wished for a swift death.

“Our Cap'n’s pretty hot too, y'know! ‘A real fine specimen,’ says my Emily.” Oxton addressed Hanzo, punctuating her words with wild gestures. “But you can decide for yourself once we get you outta here! I’m gonna drop the tube down so catch it and do your best to get it ‘round your hips, yeah?”

“Yes.” Hanzo agreed. Oxton grinned and waved the tube of lubricant as a warning before letting it drop. Hanzo caught it easily and wasted no time in dripping it over his lodged hips. It was disgustingly slick and rank against his clothes but already, he found he could move his hips in ways he could not before.

“I can move my hips a little!” Hanzo said excitedly.

“Ain’t that a relief!” McCree replied. “I’m'a lube you up from behind– which is, spoiler alert, also what I’ll be sayin’ our first time together.”

Hanzo rolled his eyes but grinned despite himself, “Are you sure I will not be the one saying that?”

McCree gave an odd sort of choked sound, and when he spoke again, he sounded sheepish, “A-Ah, I’m gonna apply the lubricant now….“ Hanzo tensed in anticipation before feeling the same unpleasant sensation against his lower back, the slick lube sticking his trousers to his body.

“Alright, darlin’,” said McCree a little breathlessly. “Go ahead and try t’ wiggle on out.”

Hanzo tried, though admittedly, not nearly as hard as he could have. He was beginning to grudgingly enjoy his little back and forth with the Captain, “I cannot on my own. I require your assistance.”

“Okay then, sweetheart, I’m'a put my hands on you.” McCree said, the grin on his face sounding bright in his voice. Hanzo hid his own smile in his shoulder as McCree placed wide palms on the sides of Hanzo’s ass, thumbs on his hip bones and tugged while Hanzo wiggled.

He came free with a small pop, McCree helping him to straighten and stand. Hanzo gratefully stretched his back. The entourage of firefighters, McDonald’s employees, and Genji cheered excitedly. McCree clapped a slick hand on Hanzo’s shoulder, and Hanzo took this time to look the fire Captain up and down. Hanzo’s stomach dropped to his knees, his heart stuttering out an unsteady rhythm as he registered the roguishly handsome firefighter who was staring at him with an expression of utter wonder on his face.

Oxton came sliding out of the narrow magenta tube of death and embarrassment easily, permitted by her small frame, and made a clicking sound with her tongue at Hanzo, “What’d I tell you? Our boss is a right hottie, isn’t he?”

Hanzo crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged a shoulder, “He is certainly not the ugliest man I have ever seen.”

McCree laughed bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck and eyeing Hanzo playfully, “Aw shucks, sweetheart, you sure know how to flatter a man.” Hanzo’s face broke into a grin at McCree’s sarcasm, though it disappeared just as fast when his eyes landed on Genji attempting to camouflage himself against a bright green slide on the other end of the structure.

“You!” Hanzo thundered, making a mad dash for Genji that his little brother replied to with an undignified yelp and a mad dash of his own. Unfortunately for Genji, Hanzo was faster. A few firm smacks to the back of the head and intense yelling in Japanese later, Genji was allowed to keep his hair and his life by the skin on his teeth.

McCree approached the brothers with a grin and a towel, holding the latter out towards Hanzo almost bashfully. Hanzo gratefully accepted it and used it to mop up some of the excess lubricant from his ruined clothes.

“Y’know,” McCree began, hands on his hips and a crooked grin on his face. “I was hopin’ you’d do me the honor of makin’ my dreams come true.”

It took Hanzo a moment before he understood what it was McCree was referring to, but once he realized it was his own line of dialogue used against him, he chuckled softly and replied with a tilt of his head, “I think you have won me over, honeysuckle.”

[funkymeihem-fiction]

The A-Mei-Zing Outback Adventure- Chapter 20

The scene grew more chaotic the closer they got. There was the smell of oxidizing metal and circuitry all around them, acrid black smoke poisoning the air from things that were never supposed to be burned. It did nothing to dissuade the horde of junkers. Large chunks of hull and sentry turrets had already been cracked loose in the initial attack, and each chunk of ruin was swarming with men and women, ripping away whatever they thought could be scavenged or trying to fight whoever else got too close to their claims. There were also several bodies laying on either side of the road, but they lay mostly forgotten, save for an occasional figure scavenging the parts from them as well. Mei tried to see if the corpses were anyone from Overwatch, but they seemed to be junkers, taken out by the pulse turrets or (judging by one of the more decapitated ones) flying metal debris. She had never seen anything like this. For some reason they reminded her of insects, as though someone had foolishly disturbed an ant’s nest or a hornet’s hive. The junkers had no organization at all and attacked quickly, en masse, and without mercy. They swarmed over scrap like it was fresh meat. And the people around them were merely the stragglers, with the main pack still dogging the heels of the Orca ship as it steadily lost altitude. Roadhog blew past them, engine still roaring and tires kicking up red dust behind them. “Crikey, the whole fuckin’ outback’s showed up for this one!” Junkrat exclaimed, his grenade launcher at the ready as they passed by two junkers fighting viciously over a downed turret gun. “Bet there’s more on the way, too! Oi, I think I know that guy!” He pointed at the either unconscious or dead figure of another male junker on the ground as they sped by. “Well, I never liked him anyway.”

They rounded the bend of the shallow canyons, and were greeted with the almost impressive sight of the junkers in full force. Chaos was reigning. There were hundreds of them, jockeying for position as they pressed their attack. The vehicles they had cobbled together were less cars or trucks than they were monstrosities of war. Missile launchers had been tacked onto the beds of lorries and hover-cars carried men bristling with weapons, while jeeps equipped with spiked javelins and harpoons, laden with chains and ropes, dragged themselves in the sand in an attempt to hobble their prey. There were shields and spikes in abundance, war paint and decals and racing stripes, and a disturbing amount of effigies, strapped across them in a mish-mash of of leather straps and feathers and bones, animal and human alike. It was impressively tribal. The Orca was doing an adequate job of defending itself from the onslaught, at least, but it wouldn’t last. Turrets were firing from its bottom and shield generators struggled to keep up with the damage, but they could do little about the metal harpoons that were already scattered in its metal underbelly, dragging the attached junker vehicles along or entire sections of its metal armor coming loose and crashing to ground, to immediately be overrun and infested with the scrap hunters. Mei had no idea what to do. The other junkers were ignoring them as simply one amongst their number for now, but she had no way to hail the ship or let them know she was even here. Roadhog was wisely keeping them a safe distance away, enough to pursue but avoiding the explosions and gunfire as he weaved in and out of the other pursuit vehicles. They would be arriving at the designated meeting spot soon, and it seemed like there might be one chance and one chance only to get aboard. They followed until the Orca slowed and came to a stop, turning as abruptly as the immense ship was able, its back to the cliffs as it turned to face the junker hordes. There was the whirring clank of more turrets getting into position, and then a shimmer as its shields refreshed and a door to its cargo bay opened. Mei thrust one arm forward, “There! There, they’re waiting for us! Let’s go!” It should have been simple. Get to the ship, get picked up by Overwatch agents and brought aboard. But every other junker in the vicinity had seen the same door open, and they surged forward as if a living wave, and the motorcycle was quickly crowded out by the larger vehicles all around it. Roadhog rumbled a low curse, then nodded down to his partner, who was grinning and starting to vibrate in his seat. “Rat. Clear ‘em.” This time, Mei made no move to stop them, one hand on her pistol as she huddled into the side of the sidecar, taking hold of Junkrat’s leg to help steady him as he reared up with his frag launcher at the ready, giggling wildly. “Never thought you’d ask, mate!” Mei shut her eyes as there were several large booms and waves of heat from nearby, with the shrieking of both metal and people deafening in her ears, nearly drowning out Junkrat’s maniacal laughter. The motorcycle started moving again. Junkrat kept firing, grenades flying amongst the clouds of choking dust and embers, tongue waving from his mouth and practically slavering amongst the chaos. The motorcycle came to an abrupt stop as it hit something in front of them, the entire thing jolting back and then forward, Mei having to wrap both arms around Junkrat’s legs to keep him from going flying as he landed with a crash atop her in the sidecar. Something rose from the smoke in front of them, a cobbled-together metal monstrosity lifting up on two legs, machine-gun arms clacking noisily, and its junker pilot grinning at them from inside its metal control cage. “Aw fuck me, I hate fightin’ mechs,” Junkrat groaned, before grabbing onto Mei and launching both of them out of the sidecar, nearly dropping her as he ducked and rolled to the side, narrowly missing a rain of machine-gun fire at his ankles. They both landed in the dirt, scrambling upright on either side of the mech as it turned to face Roadhog, who was dismounting his motorcycle and angrily pulling his gun. “Get to the ship!” Mei called to them both, pulling her pistol and going to dash forward. The mech thrust one arm out to block her, but there was another boom and it fell slightly to one side, as one of Junkrat’s sticky mines hit its mark. She made a move to try and duck under it, but the barrel-guns of its arm swung and effectively clotheslined her across the chest, sending her flying back where she’d come from and sliding painfully on the rocky ground. It opened fire and she tried to roll, but a round of bullets sprayed her gut, and she screamed as she felt something tear open and start bleeding, pressing her sticky shirt over the ragged wound even as Junkrat bellowed in anger and positioned himself in front of her, fumbling to reload his grenades. “Kkeojyeo! Geim-eul hamyeon igyeoyaji!” Something very large and pink and vaguely rabbit-shaped landed with a crash of metal against metal, as D.Va’s MEKA slammed full-force into the junker mech. The other mech might have been larger, but it was far from nimble, struggling to even turn as the MEKA practically danced around him, bullets flying as its boosters sent it in agile dodging motions to and fro. From inside its protective pilot shield, D.Va blew a bubble with her gum and popped it impatiently, finally jamming both guns into the other mech’s core and firing, sending the whole thing crashing down as the junker inside ejected free and went scrambling. “Aw yeah! That makes me four-time reigning Australia mech-fighting champion! GG E-Z!” She struck a pose, both metal arms punching forward dramatically, before turning to face them. “Jamie! I thought I saw your weird hair out here!” “Oi, my hair ain’t weird!…Okay, it’s kinda weird,” Junkrat grumbled. “Give us a lift, won’t ya? Mei’s hurt and don’t have any more ice left.” “Sorry, not that kind of MEKA! And you’d be shot right off, I’ve never seen so many people here to fight! I’ll radio the others to let them know you’re coming in!” There was the rattle of more gunfire as more pulse rounds slammed into the MEKA’s side, causing her to shriek within. “Apa! Oh, you’re in for it now!” With that, her boosters flared white-blue and she went careening off back into the melee. Junkrat scratched at his self-admittedly weird hair. “Well, she’s clearin’ a path at least! You all right, love? Can y’walk?” Mei took his hand, hauling herself upright. “I-I think so? Oh! Jamie, you’re bleeding too!” He blinked in apparent surprise, looking to where a hole in his arm was also streaming liquid red. “Oh! Hey, guess I am! Eh, she’ll be right, I can still shoot. Oi, let’s grab Roadie and- Aw shite, we got company.” Roadhog had seemed to have gotten into an entirely different kind of trouble, and he and the bike were surrounded by a group of scavengers. Mei lifted her pistol, but to her surprise, the enormous junker was almost unmoving, and though the people around him milled about and bristled their weapons, none of them had made an actual move to attack him yet. “That ain’t him. It’s someone pretending to be him,” She heard one insist. “Who the fuck’d pretend to be him?” “Isn’t he the one who killed DogEater’s entire gang?” “That was him? Ripped t’fucking pieces…” “Yeah. That’s the real Roadhog, nobody wears a mask like that except Roadhog. Uh…you take ‘im first, I’ll go behind...” “You take ‘im. I ain’t fucking with the pig man,” a smaller man replied, backing into a retreat. Roadhog said nothing, as usual. His wheezing breath remained steady, rattling in and out past the mask’s filters, blank lenses still set upon the junkers facing him. Naturally reluctant to face a well-known bruiser that was over seven feet of fat, muscle, and silent rage, the men jostled and pushed at one another, none of them wanting to be the one to initiate combat and make themselves his target. And when Roadhog slowly lifted his immense hook, the metal catching the sunlight and glinting sharply, the enemy junkers seemed to reach their limit and suddenly and quickly dispersed into all directions, trying to find easier targets. “Hhm…” Roadhog said. “Knew there was a reason I kept you around, mate,” Junkrat grinned. “Besides your winnin’ personality.” “Mm.” The trio continued to struggle forward amongst the chaos, trying to maneuver through. She thought she could see occasional glimpses of other agents from time to time…Pharah’s rockets occasionally flared in the sky, and D.Va’s gaudy pink made for an almost obnoxious moving target as she saw it diving to and fro amongst the red and brown dust of the junkers around her. And despite all the screaming and blasting, she definitely heard Reinhardt’s booming voice, challenging all and sundry to come and face him. The junkers were fighting each other almost as much as their targets, and she nearly lost sight of her companions several times, sometimes firing off warning shots at those who saw her much tinier size and obvious wounds as an opportunity. But even her bodyguards’ gigantism couldn’t hold all of them off, and more than once both Junkrat and Roadhog were pulled away from her at once to try and keep the others at bay. She continued to try and struggle through, darting into and then out of a brawling group of junkers who were getting closer and closer to the dropship, when she saw a familiar flash of red, white, and blue fabric. Her expression lit up, immediately dashing towards it.  Soldier 76 was holding off a crowd of foes at once, pulse rifle rattling as he stood in front of the Orca’s open doors. The junkers were getting bolder and bolder as minutes went by, to the point where he was physically having to push them back at times as the bolder ones tried to rush him. He had been forced into a slow but steady retreat, and could barely pause to even reload without retaliation. And he was making another attempt to reload when one of the junkers rushed him yet again. This one was a surprisingly tiny woman, covered in blood and dust and very faintly yelling “76! 76 it’s me!” over the din as she made a beeline towards him. He lunged forward before she could properly react, launching one strike directly into her sternum. He heard her words cut off and she staggered, the wind knocked out of her, and he went to finish the job, his arm around her throat and swinging her up into the air before going to smash her down into the ground so he could take the shot... Mei barely managed to let out a strangled cry of “C-Commander Morrison!” He stopped immediately, almost freezing mid-air. The back of her head slammed audibly into the ground and she uttered a little noise of pain that sounded familiar, her glasses clattering onto the ground beside her and one of the lenses cracking…Since when did junkers wear glasses like that? He kept his forearm in her throat, her chin pressed upward and pinned, but paused to actually look at her. She looked different now. Her face was thinner and her cheekbones looked more hollowed out. Her eyes were shadowed and tired and squinted to see without her eyewear. She wore a headscarf with a familiar little piggy face on it, but there was precious little hair beneath it. No wonder he’d mistaken her at first glance, but it was definitely… “Mei?” he asked in a bewildered tone, easing his arm off her neck. “Is that-” “Get offa her, you senile old cunt!” Junkrat hit them both like an incoming freight train, his entire gangly mass hitting Soldier dead-center and ripping him from atop Mei like a charging bull. She landed sprawled on her back, the air still knocked out of her. Junkrat had dragged his stunned target some feet away, his fists clenched in the namesake 76 jacket, and went to slam Soldier rather brutally into the ground several times, spitting curses and nearly foaming at the mouth. But Soldier 76 was a seasoned veteran who had dealt with more than an enraged junker in his time. He recovered and he retaliated, and the two quickly became a mess of wrestling limbs and jabbing fists as they fought, and their guns were entirely too close by for comfort. Mei’s head spun as she righted herself, sitting up and trying to yell at them. Her breath came out as a pathetic wheeze, her lungs still emptied as she inhaled and tried again, holding her chest. She tried to call out, trying to identify herself and order Junkrat and Soldier off each other, but only a few words made it out and it sounded more like she was trying to scold a misbehaving dog. “Jamie!…No! Down!” To her surprise, it worked. Junkrat managed to kick Soldier off of him, jamming a boot into the other man’s belly as he scrambled out of the melee, hurrying back to Mei’s side and helping her upright. Soldier stood as well, holding his gun warily at ease as he faced them both. “Mei-Ling? And…Agent Junkrat. Hm.” His gravelly voice showed a hint of clear displeasure. “Didn’t see that it was you.” “Who the bloody fuck else would it be!” Junkrat sneered, fingering the trigger of his grenade launcher even as Mei tried to keep him at bay. “That’s a fine howdoyado! We called you to rescue her, not to fuckin’ end the job!” “It’s fine! I should have identified louder, it’s my fault! I’m sorry, let’s not fight!” Mei protested, even as she pressed both hands to his chest and tried to push him back, leaving red smears across his shoulders. “You ain’t got nothin’ to be sorry for, love! It’s this drongo here-!” “I thought she was another junker,” Soldier growled, “I’ve never seen her like th-” Several bullets spattered into the rock above them and peppered them with dust, causing all three to duck and immediately forget their squabble. Soldier lifted his pulse rifle and immediately began firing back, backing away to help shepherd the two towards the ramp. A gloved hand reached up to flick at something on his tactical visor, which glowed vivid red as the holographic field displayed before him, locking onto his targets one by one as they came into view. Junkrat put aside his grudge at least long enough to help, slamming another case of grenades into his launcher’s feed as another round of frags went sailing into the air. “You get inside, find the doc. I’ll be back in just a tick. Oh, I’m gonna enjoy this,” Junkrat said, his grin widening and baring his teeth. Mei lifted a hand to stop him but he was already gone, bounding off into the chaos with no small amount of glee. Soldier followed after him not long after, still uselessly trying to order the junker about. Llimping and bloody, with no ammo left for her gun and her glasses cracked on one side, Mei finally headed up the ramp and into the rescue ship. It was a little strange to be back, back in the familiar belly of the vehicle where she’d deployed from so many times before, usually sitting as far away from the junkers as possible. She immediately slumped into her favorite chair, coughing a little and wishing she had a communicator to let the others know. She felt a little thrill of hope in the pit of her belly, though she wondered if that also might have been a side effect of the blood loss from her gut. “Hello? Is anybody else here?” she called. “Mei! Mei, love, is that you!” Tracer’s voice, cheerful but more than a little stressed, sounded up by the front. The little pilot clearly had her hands full, numerous buttons blinking and beeping urgent messages from all sides of her as she flicked some of them on and off, her gaze roaming constantly over various screens and gauges all over the control board. “It’s me, Lena! I’m so glad to see you again. I’d offer a hug…” She winced a little, still holding her hand to her side. When she looked down and peeled it away, her palm was smeared with red. “Oh! Maybe another time, don’t let me forget! A bit busy myself, here, or I’d greet you proper! But once we’re back-” The whole ship shuddered as there was another boom outside, and Tracer grasped a hold of the yoke, pulling it upward as she struggled to maintain control. “Oh bugger! Not sure how long we can keep this up! Athena, get everyone back on board so we can get out of here! If we can get out of here!” She no longer wore a communicator, but Mei could almost hear the soothing tones of Athena’s vocal systems in her head, relaying the orders of hasty retreat in her ever-polite manner. She slumped down into a seat, the one she usually took on their missions, tucked away in a corner. Snowball buzzed about happily before spotting its favorite charging station, settling onto the plug as its visor went dark. Mei smiled at it a little, glad at least someone was entirely happy about their return, before turning to watch as the other agents returned, one by one. Roadhog was wheeling the half-broken remains of his motorcycle up the ramp, resolutely ignoring Soldier 76’s bellowing to leave it behind as he provided cover fire. Pharah had been shot down and rather haphazardly tossed over the massive shoulders of Reinhardt as he backed slowly into the cargo area, shield upright. D.Va’s MEKA landed with a booming crash outside, metal feet clanking as she steered it inside. Then all eyes immediately turned when there was a shrieking whistle outside and an explosion, and Junkrat’s blurry form was spinning through the air and into the cargo bay, singed form leaving a trail of black smoke as he went skidding along the floor before coming to a stop with a painful-sounding thud against the far wall, his spindly legs bent nearly double over his head before slumping sprawled out and face down on the floor. “Jamison!” Mei called in alarm, starting to stagger upright. “I swear, Mr. Fawkes, the situations you get yourself into…” Mercy’s voice somehow always sounded so gentle, even when irritated. She cut an angelic figure as she appeared amidst the smoke and dust, valkyrie wings glowing and coming to a gliding landing next to the downed junker. A little check-over and a quick glow of her Caduceus Staff seemed to do the trick, and a moment later Junkrat was groaning and holding his rattled skull as he awkwardly rolled onto his back. “That was a good one, mate,” he wheezed, coughing up a black cloud as Roadhog’s huge fingers suddenly closed around his head, carelessly dragging him up and setting him back on his feet. Mercy rolled her eyes slightly before pausing, catching sight of the other junker that had mysteriously appeared on the other side of the ship. She approached with a hand raised, concern written all over her face. “Oh Mei-Ling…” she breathed out, going to gingerly place her fingers on her shoulder almost as if to check she was real. She’d seen her only briefly and rather blurrily, on that fuzzy old camera from their safehouse broadcast. But she looked so different in person. She didn’t even look like the same person, really, and the only clue it was her at all was the dimpling in her cheeks and a faint glint in her dark eyes that looked like the old Mei. “Dr. Ziegler. It’s good to see you again. Um…I think I might need some help?” Mei said, and peeled her hand away from her gut with an unpleasantly sticky noise. “Oh! Of course. Und, wo tut's jetzt weh?“ Mercy’s brows rose, quickly moving into action with the same grace as always. The staff lit up soothing yellow, and Mei relaxed immediately as its gentle glow enveloped her, eyes drifting shut almost in a daze. It was the first real healing her body had been able to do in months, and while normally the sensation of billions upon billions of glowing nanobot swarming her body, wounds knitting themselves shut and flesh sealing neatly under the skin was something Mei had always found a little eerie, it felt so wonderful that it rendered her into a stupor. She didn’t even notice Mercy’s increasingly worried expression, her eyes glued to the little display on her staff and her mouth moving in unheard muttering. “Ach Du meine Güte…I think perhaps we’d best move you to the med bay for now? Nothing to fret over, just, taking a few precautions. Reinhardt, if you wouldn’t mind helping me move-” “Oi, I’ll get her! C’mere, love!” Junkrat perked immediately from his seat, lifting both ash-covered hands to help. Mercy turned a stern gaze upon him, holding up a hand. “That will not be necessary, Mr. Fawkes. We are very thankful that you are all back and mostly in one piece, but I’m afraid that our investigation into the situation is still pending and Mei is…less medically sound than I previously thought. Until we can get a better handle on the whole thing, I’d like you and your partner to remain as you are. Reinhardt, if you would please take her to the bay table?” “That ain’t fuckin’ fair! I know what you’re doing!” Junkrat protested, pointing in an accusatory way towards the medic and the immense armored German man now gently lifting his charge. “You got no idea what’s happened to us and we don’t have to tell you a fuckin’ thing, so how about you and your monkey take your investigation an’ shove it right up your beautiful angelic-” “You vill not talk to Angela like that!” Reinhardt boomed aloud, angrily whirling upon the junker with Mei still in both arms. “Well, maybe you all shouldn’t be talking to him like that,” D.Va remarked a little snidely. “We’ve been fighting off crazy people in this crappy desert for a rescue mission, and now we finally do rescue Jamie and the others, and you immediately want to investigate him because, what, he kissed your friend?” Soldier 76 was already strapped in and waiting to go, his face in both palms. “This is why I always thought interdepartmental fraternization should have been banned.” “Please don’t fight,” Mei said weakly. “Hey!” Tracer’s voice suddenly blared over the intercom. “Would someone please just move the lady and get everyone strapped in, because I’m turning this old girl around and we’re still under attack here, just in case you’ve forgotten! Oh! Damnit! Brace yourselves!” The ship abruptly pitched to one side, causing everyone not strapped in to stumble and Junkrat to land square on his ass as his peg went out from under him. But at least it seemed to resolve the situation, as Reinhardt quickly righted himself and hastily moved Mei into the tiny ship med bay as Mercy bustled about her, strapping her into place and covering her with a blanket as she bustled about. Mei craned her neck from side to side, and was briefly glad of the straps when the ship lurched to and fro before struggling up into the air. She could hear the pinging of more bullets and javelins against the underside of the ship, one last desperate attempt by the attacking junkers to bring it back to ground, before the thrusters all activated at once and the Orca went surging forward, the G forces so strong that they sent Mei careening to one side on the table and Mercy dropped her staff to hold on to her chair’s handles with both hands. But soon the ship slowed to more manageable speeds and the doctor was fussing over her again, pressing and prodding her beneath the blanket and occasionally tapping things into her pad. “I’m sorry to cause such a fuss, Dr. Ziegler,” Mei said, even as the sounds of another argument started up from the room next door. “Junkrat and Roadhog are sick too, don’t forget to make sure they’re okay, please.” “It’s fine, I’ll be checking on them in just a moment. I can tell you’re fretting. Don’t worry. You haven’t done anything wrong, Mei…Well, other than cut communications when we still wanted to talk to you, but that was merely another little matter that just got a bit out of hand. It’s all merely a collection of things that got out of hand. I’ve already spoken to Winston about it, it is all being handled.” “I…noticed Winston isn’t here?” “Ah, no. Winston could unfortunately not attend. But I assure you he wanted to, and he was the first on the list until an emergency called him away. It’s nothing you’ve done, and you don’t need to worry. Now just try to relax, you might feel a pinching sensation…” “Okay,” Mei said a bit unhappily, not entirely sure she believed the good doctor. “You know, the junkers haven’t done anything wrong either. I know that during the call, things got a little- Owch!” “There’s that pinching sensation, dear.” “It’s like you said, Dr. Zeigler, it just got…a little out of hand. I wasn’t feeling myself. I’m more than happy to start my report right away! If you would just get me a tablet, I’m sure we’ll have a few hours where I can work and start to get everything cleared up.” “I would not be feeling myself either, with these levels of radiation sickness, weight loss, sun poisoning, and other afflictions..Not to mention fresh bullet wounds, and I understand you were mistakenly punched by one of our own? As much as I know you want to start getting organized, I must insist that the only thing you’re going to be doing right now is resting,” Mercy chided. “It’s amazing you’re doing as well as you are, considering your state. Now, take two of these-” She handed Mei two pills and a water, watching with a hawk-like gaze until she was sure Mei had taken them both. “-And try to concentrate on resting, if you must concentrate on anything.” “I’ll be fine. What about the others?” “If I believed that I could get either of the junkers to start taking their medicine and resting properly, I would do so. I have tried, believe me I have tried. The first time I tried to lock Junkrat into a private room with just a bed so he could begin recovery, he had apparently hidden a charge on his person and then blew the door controls…I think it might have been in his ear canal. I distinctly remember checking his mouth and nose and…other places… ” She coughed, abruptly turning her back and starting to fill a syringe with clear liquid. “That sounds like something he would do,” Mei admitted with a sigh, before shaking her head abruptly, “Wait, you mean you checked his-” “Most likely a technique he picked up in the various prisons he’s frequented,” Mercy said smoothly, sitting down next to her patient and motioning for her to look away before taking her arm and administering a careful injection. Mei winced and glanced away, waiting until the cool swab of cotton wiped over the spot. Mercy continued on, voice softening slightly. “I know you might think we are being hard on the junkers…your friends. But I have nothing against them and I assure you that I will do everything I can to make sure that both of them are as healthy and hale as I can. If we held a grudge against everyone who’s ever been imprisoned or on the wrong side of the law, I would have an awful lot of free time on my hands. But we still have protocol to follow, Mei, you know that.” “You don’t believe I really have Stockholm Syndrome, do you?” “I thought at first you might have been in trouble, I will admit. I was worried. We all were. We had no information about you, Junkrat, or Roadhog. You three had vanished off the face of the earth. Then you suddenly re-appeared from nowhere. There were signs of bondage on your wrists and you were clearly hurt and sick…” “I’m so sorry we worried you…” Mei couldn’t help but give a little half smile. “And don’t let Jamison hear the word bondage.” “Mei! Goodness, maybe you really have been spending too much time around the junkers.” “Sorry. But I tried to explain what happened, and then the moment I start talking about how they helped me, Winston suggested it was all just a trick of the mind? I just…That made me angry. I’m sorry, but I did, I got angry.” “It’s not so simply cut and dry as that. I believe that you faced unimaginable difficulties and bonded with the only two people around you that you could rely on. Such bonds can become very deep. We’ll have to wait on a full psychological profile after this, but…honestly, after the trauma you’ve faced, you becoming  close with Mr. Fawkes is near the very bottom of my list of concerns. And Winston was just-” She sighed a bit, patting Mei’s arm. “I don’t want to speak for him, but I hope you and he can clear things up with each other. He’s been frantic, searching for you these months, and I believe both of you were simply…shall we say, overwhelmed.” Mercy’s voice was getting further and further away as the medicine started to take hold, but Mei found herself agreeing with whatever it was she was saying. “I know, Doctor Ziegler…I just…This just isn’t how I thought things would go…according to plan…” she said, slurring a bit as she focused on the spinning ceiling. “Things rarely do,” the doctor’s voice replied distantly. She kept telling herself she was safe now. The rescue mission hadn’t exactly gone off without a hitch, but she was safe. Junkrat and Roadhog were safe. After everything they had gone through, it was over. They could head back to the base, start the long process of getting better, and maybe, just maybe, things could go smoothly from here? She gave a strange, reedy little laugh as she started to slip into unconsciousness, even causing the doctor to pause and check over her once more. Who was she kidding? Things never went smoothly for someone like her.