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#im. so frustrated. missed all the wrestling. and my dinner is all skewed bc my routine is so fucked now. hate this
piplupod
ยท
10 months
Text
oh i think I'm going to throw myself into a ravine actually
#i need to . do something. idk what. everything is bad
#boy i hate the feeling leading up to a meltdown
#and then when it never happens u get to just edge on this feeling basically for days until u finally break
#tonight was supposed to be so good. I was so set. i had my dinner plan and i was gonna watch aew
#and then parents happened and the second spider of the day and i just want to tear all my skin off or something
#im. so frustrated. missed all the wrestling. and my dinner is all skewed bc my routine is so fucked now. hate this
#this all sounds so trivial and those parts of it are but theres other shit i dont want to mention bc i Can't Think About It rn
#i just. god. fuck!!!
#idk what to do lmao i am so tired i am so so tired. this is all hell
#i am supposed to just let it go and move on but goddamn im upset. but im not allowed to be. supposed to just move on
#not productive to be upset. cbt and everything says ur just supposed to let it all go and be fine w everything
#change your thoughts :) i am not being abused i am not being fucked over :) i am fine and all i need to do is eat :)
#my feelings dont matter and i have no wants :) my needs dont matter past basic survival things and even then those are flexible :)
#i just need to try harder bc obviously im not trying hard enough so ignore the body and just push thru :) this is how its supposed to work!!
#you got your plans you've been looking forward to for several days fucked over well too bad just move on :)
#no being upset because you can just think past it :) you have to control your feelings :)
#i just want to go to bed
#vent /
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