#my feelings dont matter and i have no wants :) my needs dont matter past basic survival things and even then those are flexible :)

[piplupod]

one more post while i am insane but i do think maybe Wanting to live should be ... enough to live. like can it just be all that is needed maybe. instead of [gestures vaguely at capitalistic society] all of that. a person should just Want to be alive and be allowed to live and given what they need to live. i dont want to have to beg and grovel for the ability to keep myself alive, i already did that (and continue to do that!) with my parents and now apparently i have to do that with the govmt and just... Everything.

[skinnymeanfaggot]

also

[temiizpalace]

☆┊MONOPOLY? MONOPOLY.

SUMMARY: monopoly. the game infamous for destroying friendships and relationships. it wouldn’t hurt to play a game or two, right? how do your acquaintances suffer during the game?

CHARACTERS: all dorms (+grim)

GENRE: fluff, crackfic

WARNINGS: cursing

PLATONIC or ROMANTIC, PLATONIC ORTHO + GRIM

NOTES: my sister punched me in the stomach cause i bought her property

reader gender is not specified, reader is yuu

SPENT THE ENTIRETY OF THE GAME IN JAIL

no matter what they did, no matter how many times they wished to try, they always landed in jail. even when he’s finally free after seven knows many turns, he’ll pick up a card, and it says go to jail. jeez, what did he do?! this game sucks, i don’t see the appeal. is he so much of a bad guy the game wants to keep him locked up forever? its hurting his feelings. why do you want to keep playing?? can he just quit? he doesn’t wanna play anymore. fine. he’ll keep playing. just make sure you win or else you’ll get an earful..

spoiler alert: you lose and now he’s disappointed

riddle, deuce, jack, malleus, silver

LAUGHS LIKE AN EVIL VILLAIN WHEN SOMEONE LANDS ON THEIR PROPERTY

oh dear, how poor and unfortunate are you? such a shame really. oh well! fork over the cash, prefect! it’s nothing personal, just a simple game of monopoly. you can spare a couple hundreds, couldn’t you? surely you weren’t planning on winning, right? all is fair in love and war they say! he’ll make it up to you later, but it’s just better to pay— what’s that? no money? BANKRUPT? how sad. you snooze ya lose. better luck next time, you were no match to begin with. he’ll take what’s left, thanks! much appreciated 🫶🫶

he’s just competitive he’s sorry please don’t hit him with the board please— NONO WAIT—

ace, ruggie, azul, jade, jamil, epel, idia, lilia, grim

IS HOARDING ALL THE LITTLE HOUSES

they’re so cute! not very detailed, but he can make a nice village out of them! oh. you need them for the game? can’t you use.. something else? please let him keep them. if you want them back you’ll have to pry them from his cold dead hands. here, use these thumbtacks! they basically look like houses! why’s he so attached to the tiny plastic primary colored houses from this game? unsure, but he likes em. hands off <3

if you play on the floor watch your step

deuce, cater, floyd, kalim, rook, sebek, grim

USING THEIR WAD OF MONOPOLY MONEY AS A FAN

at first, this game seemed.. childish. however, who is he to say no to victory? just look at all the currency he holds in the palm of his hand, practically basking in wealth. tsk, tsk, wipe that pouty face off of your face prefect. he’s just playing the game after all. not his fault you can’t save your money. my, my, it’s getting hot! excuse him as he fans himself off with his hundred dollar bills. he would share if he can, but it looks like his hands are full. needless to say, he is suffering from success over here.

ace, cater, leona, ruggie, azul, jade, floyd, jamil, vil, epel, idia, ortho, lilia, grim (they all on my list. better watch themself)

BRINGS UP PERSONAL SHIT DURING AN ARGUMENT OVER PROPERTY

will bring up moments from each others past mid-argument cause they’re just petty like that. don’t look at him like that! not his fault you decided to ramble about your middle school days— HEY. DONT YOU DARE BRING UP HIS BABY PHOTOS. NO. NOT THE PHOTO. NONONONONONONONONO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

pieces are in fact flung to the ground

ace, leona, azul, epel, sebek, grim

ABOUT TO FLIP THE BOARD

barely holding it together. he is this close to just grabbing the board and throwing it to the ground. he wants to tear up the currency and toss it down the paper shredder while screaming his lungs out. this game is absolutely SHIT. don’t ever bring it in his sights again, he will lose it.

riddle, jamil (depends), epel, sebek, grim

TRYING TO PLAY NORMALLY

it’s just a game guys, relax. sure, it’s not ideal, but let’s not try stabbing each other over a simple game of dice and money? seriously, it’s not that deep. as long as you’re playing together, he’s having a fun time. that’s all that really matters to him in the end! you’re having fun, he’s having fun, it’s a win-win. while chaos ensues, he’s pretty good at being levelheaded and the voice of reason so hopefully it doesn’t blow up in his face.

trey, jack, silver

A/N: monopoly almost got my cousin divorced fun game 10/10 would play again. so many fics in the draft hopefully they come out soon 🧌🧌🧌

date published: 8/20/24

© temiizpalace — do not copy, steal, or put my work into ai. thank you!

[msperfect777]

time, thoughts & meditation

⭐️part six of the understanding consciousness & non dualism series

we know nothing is real and everything is imagination. all this is just an illusion bc its forms of consciousness (forms of you) that appear separate and have different labels but all they are is just consciousness.

1. time

time is an imaginary concept; it is unreal. time is not real. yes ego sees time and the clock as real just bc its "physical" but we already know nothing is real period. time is imaginary. when you imagine something, you experienced it instantly. theres no amount of time that will make you experience what you want. the moment you imagine / observe something, it exists instantly. theres no need for waiting. theres no such thing as a "time delay" bc time is imaginary. you are consciousness. you are not "powerful"... you are power itself. if you are going to limit yourself to an imaginary concept such as "time," then you have not realized your true nature (dont worry you will get there *wink).

there is no "past" or "future" bc there is only now. when you imagine something, you imagine it in the present, in the now. when "you" remember a memory of the past, you are doing that in the present, in the now. when "you" stress and imagine something that "you" expect to happen in the future, you imagine it in the now. every "second" is the now. there is only present, no past, no future. "past" and "future" are imaginary, unreal concepts.

2. thoughts

thoughts are from the ego and we already know from last post that ego is not real and that ego will make you think that you need to do something else after you already observed something in imagination. ego makes it harder to understand that everything is imagination. doesnt matter if ego understands or not bc either way, you are only consciousness and so is everything else.

even though thoughts and emotions arent real, your false self can still have doubts and feelings of discouragement which is normal. my advice is that when you become aware of thoughts and bad emotions, remember that you are consciousness; you are everything; you are power itself. stop and realize that you are just the observer (= consciousness / awareness) and those thoughts and feelings are never going to be real. as the observer, just observe the thoughts and feelings come and go. consciousness doesnt have opinions; consciousness doesnt categorize things as "right" or "wrong" or "up" or "down" or "green" or "purple". consciousness is neutral. ego is what categorizes things as "good" and "bad" bc ego is "logical" (which is also unreal). since you are neutral consciousness, observe the thoughts pass without judgement.

just be silent and observe. thats your true being. thats awareness. take a step back and remember ego is not the real you; those thoughts arent real and they are coming from (another unreal thing), the mind. thoughts come from the mind / ego as we already know is unreal and imaginary. so they are basically useless. they are just there for entertainment. nothing serious. part of understanding non dualism is realizing that bc none of this is real, we cannot take anything seriously bc this is all just a game that we create. step back and remember that consciousness is all you will ever be. calmly and silently observe the unreal thoughts and emotions. there is no need to fight or stop unreal things right? consciousness doesnt see those thoughts as "bad" or "annoying". they just are. step back and observe in silence.

3. meditation

when you think of meditation you may think of sitting on a mat in a calm yoga sitting position while listening to silence. in reality, meditation is just consciousness. consciousness is naturally meditation bc, as said before, consciousness is already, naturally calm and neutral w no opinions or judgements. when i tell you to mediate. you are already doing it, you already are it. effortlessly. but ego tells you otherwise and ego presents "messy thoughts" and while you werent aware of your true nature (consciousness), you take the thoughts seriously when they tell you "this is the right way to meditate" etc bc you think you are the body that is actually thinking these thoughts.

challenge (?):

we are naturally the observer. remember when i told you to sit back and observe the thoughts that ego sees as negative? why dont you try to be present and aware of whatever you are doing once in a while bc most of the time, "you" are just thinking about the past or stressing about the future. be present instead.

the video said "put 1000 focus" and "attention"... just know he means be completely aware on (for example) washing the dishes instead of being aware of thoughts and other nonsense while you are washing.

be your natural, meditation self and next time you look out the window, just silently observe the trees. observe the leaves and its stems and the lines and the green color. observe the texture of the bark without judgment. theres no reason to stop or argue with the mind and its thoughts and opinions. just observe them. remember: none of that is ever really happening; you are just observing consciousness (everything is consciousness / imagination). you are staring at yourself so theres no harm in that. stare at "your" hand and silently observe the lines and color. i like to stare at something in my room or close my eyes and silently observe the rain sounds outside in silence. its peaceful and thats pure awareness. if im walking on the street, i observe the people talking while observing the cars honking while observing the way the trees move from the wind while observing how "my" legs move while "i" walk on the street.

i observe my breathing and quiet the mind and thoughts and observe. if thoughts dont stop coming, i wouldnt fight it bc they are just unreal. they are harmless. i just observe the thoughts. with or without thoughts, i am always the observer. i observe what i want. silently observe. with the challenge as said: observe / be aware of the things happening in the present. dont get swept up by the unreal mind and unreal thoughts. calm, stress-less, limitless, silent, neutral, peaceful. thats awareness. thats you.

© msperfect777

[peripaltepsy]

BEWARE OF "body mod advices" - they can be dangerous and LETHAL.

(this post was about a deactivated blog but extends to any possible future blog like it)

edit3 since he deactivated: Red told me in the DMs that he WILL be more careful about all this risk stuff, I believe he is going to do better. Im sure he's a good person and he also was extremely civil in the DMs. Since he's not here to defend himself anymore I'll gladly take his side and say that despite this mess, all Red wanted to do was indeed reduce harm and potentially save lives. Good luck on all your endeavors, Red, I wish you a beautiful and successful career and that you have a great positive impact in the atypical dysphoria community, both on and offline. I don't know how my post truly impacted you, I'm so sorry if you're feeling bad. You acted the best way you possibly could.

Second, if Red comes back, DO NOT HARASS HIM, let him be himself and don't let his past hold them down.

Third, all my points still stand for their deactivated blog and any potential body mod tips blogs in the future. Please everyone, take care, stay safe.

Past edit: DONT HARASS any possible blogs like hers, just REPORT and spread awareness, (also don't make the same mistakes as me: TALK TO THEM FIRST)

Past edit: minors please interact with this post, forget my bio for this one

Past edit: editing editing the post since I talked to Red and he isn't bait. I definitely should have talked to them in DMs first. I sincerely apologize. So sorry Red! To those reading, don't make the same mistake as me, ok? Always talk to people privately first, I genuinely fucked up bad. This mistake of assuming others intentions, can traumatize them. If I were in Red's shoes I'd be traumatized. So yeah, I fucked up bad.

Their intentions are genuine but my point still stands that its extremely dangerous and can't qualify as harm-reduction / end edit note

alright, I'm not transid/radqueer but you guys need to REPORT AND WARN OTHERS of these accounts as soon as they appear. Do not entertain them, no matter how desperate you are to transition. You can become a victim of dangerous charlatanism.

LONG POST AHEAD, VERY IMPORTANT NEVERTHELESS

Archive to what i'm about to post

Red claimed to be "a non-professional surgeon, planning on getting better with practice." Bad move!

Red has told me he's pursuing a medical degree and won't actually do non-qualified surgery.

.

Red: "The blog is centered around an idea of "extreme" body mods that I would like to explore further, [...] things like breaking and re-mending bones, creating new joints, replacing skin, etc."

My point: the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and your blog was unsafe.

.

To any possible counterarguments: "But they (people following/asking advice) know the risks!" That's victim-blaming. Red gave himself the responsibility to give harm-reducing advice, but he didn't do a good job.

"But I know the risks!" You can't possibly know the risks because Red doesn't know either or "kinda knows" but has not properly informed his audience, it didnt give sources, oversimplified their advice and failed to provide accurate information about risk. Or gave plain misinformation.

Again I'm not transid, I can't possibly imagine what you're going through in order to try anything at all to feel better, including trying experimental surgery not legally available or not researched at all. However, please please please do not become a victim of medical deceit or whatever tf it's called. Even if the blog owner tries their best to be reliable.

They might sound confident, but they do not know what they are saying, what they're telling others to do.

.

Ask: "How would I make my skin gray without tattoos?" (DO NOT SHAME THIS USER BTW)

Red: "[...] I assume you want permanent grey. To do this, it's pretty simple, although it'll take a lot of time. Basically, what you want to do is to constantly be exposed to lots of silver. Any product with silver in it like specific lotions and skin creams. also fish, milk, mushrooms, and whole grains tend to have silver in them! So tldr, consume lots of silver!"

STOP!!! DONT FOLLOW THIS ADVICE!!! DONT OVER-EXPOSE YOURSELF TO SILVER!!! "Silver toxicity causes argyria. Silver toxicity occurs when too much silver is in your body." <- from a simple research on "too much silver in blood"

THE RESULT WILL BE ARGYRIA. EVEN IF YOU DO IT SLOWLY, YOU ARE BUILDING UP A HEAVY METAL IN YOUR BODY. THE GREY SKIN IS NOT PRETTY NOR WITHOUT GRUESOME SIDE SYMPTOMS.

Yall. Anything in excess will fuck up your body, including iron, vitamins, and silver.

To whoever asked Red, I don't know your mind, but I'm sure you'd love to live a happy life with grey skin! You'd love to have a body you're comfortable with and looks rad as hell! But you wouldn't be able to enjoy it if you're deeply sick with ARGYRIA, WHICH IS WHAT RED'S ADVICE WILL GIVE YOU!

.

Ask: "How do I get darker skin without going too dark? I’m pale and burn easily, I just want a color similar to Lin Manuel Miranda" (AGAIN DONT HARASS THIS USER)

Red: [...] "expose yourself to the sun more! As you do this, you'll get tan which will protect you from future burns and make your skin slightly darker, do this enough and you can engineer your skin to be as dark as you want!"

THATS MISINFORMATION! Yes you may tan to get darker (Lin's tone may or may not be achievable to you) but one: it's not permanent unless you're constantly going out; two: SKIN CANCER!!!! DONT OVER-EXPOSE YOURSELF TO THE SUN!!!! USE SUNSCREEN!!

TO ANYONE SEEKING A MUCH DARKER TONE: YOU CAN'T "GO AS DARK AS YOU WANT TO" BY TANNING. Just look at people who have lived their whole lives outdoors like farmers! White people can't tan to black! There's a limit to how tan you may get! Are you seriously gonna risk skin cancer for an impossible thing???

.

Red: "Self amputation is really dangerous! You should learn how to use a tourniquet, that way, you can stop the bleeding! [...]" WHERE ARE YOU GETTING YOUR SOURCES, RED?

If anyone reading this is seriously thinking of amputating themselves, and will not change their minds no matter what, please just have someone immediately drive you to the hospital. I do not support such operation and you can still die or get horribly sick even with your best precautions, but you better receive actual medical attention and stay alive rather than trying to heal it yourself. Because what you'll most likely get from following Red's advice is DEATH FROM BLOOD LOSS. Again, if you absolutely cannot get rid of this dysphoria with therapy, or manage it at least, or have a doctor do it for you, I still would NEVER suggest you do it yourself, but IF you end up doing that then at least please go straight to the hospital instead of trying to heal it yourself.

.

Red: "do not try and break your own bones to make modifications! [...] Get another person (Like myself) to help you with the bone breakage instead."

NO ONE KNOWS WTF THEY'RE DOING. YOUR FRIEND DOESN'T. RED DOESN'T (as they advertised in the post). NO ONE IS GOING TO GET MODIFICATIONS LIKE THIS. NO ONE IS GOING TO BE HAPPY. EVERYONE IS GOING TO BE EITHER IN PAIN, RISK OF HORRIBLE INJURIES OR TROUBLE WITH THE LAW. FUCKING AROUND = GUARANTEED BOTCHED OPERATION.

Also, now that Red has clarified she won't perform surgery until having an actual degree, you can't really go to her XD

.

Red: "Some advice for surgery [...] This one's important, make sure your patient is strapped down and properly sedated, if they move, even slightly, you risk hitting a vital artery or organ, if you do hit an artery, don't panic, this is why you learned how to use a tourniquet! if you hit a vital organ though, odds are you won't know how to fix that, so be extra careful with abdomen and face surgery!"

Thats still promoting medical malpractice, mutilating and potentially killing friends, dangerously downplaying surgery so much, this is not harm-reduction

.

Ask: "I want to be blind in one eye, but more-so in the sense of extreme but not total vision loss. I want to do something permanent in the future!" (AGAIN DONT HARASS THIS USER)

Red: Well, a simple fix to your problem is just get some calcium hydroxide in your eye and wash it out a few minutes later, this should lead to permanent, extreme (but not total) vision loss in that eye. Keep it in too long and it can cause total vision loss so be careful!

Ok so, it's great that you're trying to come up with alternative ways for users not to kill themselves by gouging their eyes out, but you've still failed to give them the full picture

From a quick search "calcium hydroxide in the eyes": Exposure to the skin can produce burns, painful irritation and necrosis, and exposure to the eyes may cause severe pain and vision loss that can be temporary or permanent. If calcium hydroxide is exposed to the skin, contaminated clothing should be removed, excess amounts of the chemical should be wiped off and the affected skin should be flushed repeatedly with water. Victims of calcium hydroxide exposure to the eyes should flush their eyes with water continuously for the first 15 minutes, but all cases of external exposure should receive immediate medical care. Inhaling calcium hydroxide through the nose or mouth can also cause immediate, painful and potentially life-threatening complications. Throat and nasal passages may become painful and swollen, and the swelling may restrict airways, making breathing difficult or impossible. If the calcium hydroxide particles are carried all the way to the lungs, this may further complicate breathing. Victims of this type of exposure should be taken immediately to a fresh air environment, and emergency services should be contacted right away. Administration of oxygen and emergency respiratory assistance may be required.

.

Red (answering an ask): "the question shouldn't be what DO people replace their skin with, it should be what CAN they, after all, just because it's never been practiced or very rarely practiced doesn't mean it's bad or impossible! Of course, my personal favorite skin substitutes are rubber and red velvet, I am also a big fan of stainless steel."

(Don't promote such an operation). THIS OPERATION IS BAD AND IMPOSSIBLE TO SUCCEED. SKIN CAN ONLY BE REPLACED WITH SKIN. SKIN IS A LIVING ORGAN. ANY OTHER SUBSTITUTE WILL CAUSE YOU TO LOSE BODY PARTS OR DIE.

YOU KNOW HOW PEOPLE WITH TRANSPLANTS NEED LIFE-LONG MEDICAL ATTENTION SO THEIR BODY DOESN'T REJECT IT? HOW TF WILL YOU DO THIS WITH FUCKING RED VELVET?

YOU WILL FUCK UP YOUR BODY'S IMMUNE SYSTEM A THOUSAND DIFFERENT WAYS.

ANYWAYS. CROSSTAGGING FOR REACH. PLEASE EVERYONE REBLOG. THIS IS SERIOUS SHIT.

[prentissluvr]

i dont have all of my sam thots and dean thoughts just yet but I had to send in this bc I completely forgot about meg! sam

and its a damn shame that we didn't see more of that bc it solidified my stance on being a sam girlie

we got at least 3 episodes of demon dean (i have not seen him yet i've only heard about it) but we got like less than half an hour with meg! sam and honestly we deserved more with him

meg! sam made me feel lots of things LOLL

(i wanted to be jo SO BAD in that episode LMAO)

now i need your thots on him please :p

KJDFSJL NO BECAUSE... NOOO I CANT thinking about the amount of meg!sam edits i've seen in the past few days. thinking about the one saved in my camera roll. thinking about throwing up pissing my pants projectile vomiting and passing the fuck out. i reiterate tho, i'm normal!! i'm so so so normal and i don't feel things about it!!!!!!!

i'm honestly still like borderline unsure about how nsfw i want to get on this blog, but uhhh i'm just gonna start typing and see where my dirty fucking mind takes me!

cw : highly suggestive!! no smut, but still absolutely no minors!! MDNI!! contains condescending/mean/possessed sam, but also sweet sam too <33. use of gendered terms, but it is gender inclusive to fem, masc, and gn as much as i could make it! horrible writing it's genuinely just me going feral :))

sooo basically for me the worst (best) part of meg!sam was his voice! it's so bad (never have i ever heard anything hotter in my life). IDK I DONT EVEN THINK I CAN FORM A COHERENT THOUGHT OVER THIS NOT GONNA LIE. uhm uhhh ummmm uhhhh uhmmmm.

so basically so basically, essentially, wwowowowowowowowifjhshf alright lets focus on one thing at a time.

we'll start with that goddamn voice of his. the way it goes from teasing, condescending to deeper, more gravelly and matter-of-fact and then back to condescending LIKE WHOO IM GONNA NEED TO TAKE A LAP. idk just thinking about his large hand on the back of your head, maybe tangled in your hair if the way you wear it allows for that, and his veiny forearm visible through your peripheral vision as he says "open up.. that's a girl" like he did to jo😭😭😭 (or he's says "thaaat's it" to keep things gender neutral, dragging out the "that's" for an extra second, that extra gravel in his condescending tone).

and while this is in possessed!sam context, he'd definitely say things like that normally, i do personally envision him to be less condescending and more sincere. either way, hot as fuck if you ask me. also this isn't meg!sam, but in season seven he says "good girl" and i do listen to that clip several times a day, i am so serious when i say that and i have no shame about it!! i have daddy issues so i do not care!!! so yeah he also says good girl/boy/whatever variation you enjoy best <3 uhmmm yeah but the main point is his hot as fuck voice, right next to your ear with his breath tickling you sensitive skin. especially with that whisper. oh god the whisper😭 and along with "that's a girl," there's atta girl and he'd use that one too so i'll go die in a hole :))) but yeah he genuinely thinks you're so good for him so expect that praise, whether you want it sweet or mean.

then we also have his facial expressions!! the smirk he uses to rile you up or that he flashes you, all mean and haughty because he knows he's getting to you. the fake pity too!! lord help me, once again the utterly fake pity just falls under that condescending persona that was so hot about meg!sam. i'm just gonna use photo evidence and you can imagine him looking at you like that!! enjoy!

last thing i have to say about meg!sam is manhandling!! ahahaahahahaahahah i'm normal and okay!! (this is a cry for help i need him so bad). um yeah while i hate the context of the manhandling of jo in the episode because it's crossing so many boundaries, i will still enjoy the fact that he is hot. so yeah! have fun thinking about sam whirling you around and pinning you between his chest and nearest surface, hand on your forehead to tilt your chin up and give him full access to the skin of your neck. his other hand is pinning your wrist to whatever surface is behind you, and your own free hand is tangled in his hair and he lays wet, desperate kisses all over your neck and collarbone. that's all hahahahaha :)))) feeling so sane right now!!

[superspecial-awesome]

s0 queerosexual hcs. for pride month

basically my interpretation of the cast in this regard is that theyre a bunch of annoying queer teenagers who will never discover this about themselves because they live in 1990s japan and all think there's only gay and straight and that being the former is grounds to be beaten in the streets

Yugi: the only one who has his shit figured out. transmasc and bi and he plans on taking that to his grave. he has a strong preference for women though so that part never really comes up. "attracted to every woman ever and one guy i met at a gas station six years ago" disease. also bonus points anzu knows he's transmasc and helped him figure out binding and shit

Miho: huge lesbian but "oh no it's just that girls are objectively more attractive than guys everyone knows that, i just haven't met the right man yet, besides every girl wishes they could date women instead that's why bakura is so popular it's because he looks like a woman." I also like to imagine that in an ideal world, she'd fuck with genderfluidity

Bakura: aroace and agender transfem. he gives me he/it/any vibes. I think partly due to The Mega Autism he never really understood the deal with traditional masculinity so he feels disconnected from manhood as a whole and would be a lot more comfortable being able to exist as something entirely detached from gender. I also think the swarms of girls at all times made him view women as some sort of other species entirely and he's got a lot of deep-rooted misogyny going on about it, but tbh anzu and miho could fix him. and make him into the vague girlthing he always was

Anzu: Idk what label to slap onto her but I don't think physical appearance or gender plays any role in her being attracted to people at all. maybe like demiromantic asexual. but i dont think demi is the term im looking for. definitely ace though.

Honda: "WOW I LOVE BEING A MAN I LOVE WOMEN AND RULES AND ORDER I DON'T AT ALL FEEL LIKE I'M CURSED TO FIT MYSELF INTO A BOX THAT'S TOO SMALL FOR ME" and he believes that wholeheartedly and then wonders why he needs to constantly prove himself over things that don't matter to avoid his mental health crumbling to dust. I don't think he's trans though I just think he needs to chill out. also he's bi and poly and the single most useless hopeless romantic ever.

Jonouchi: bi but i think his refusal to accept that as a possibility has made him very aware of a lot of other things he has going on psychologically. like his homophobia has somehow made him a more self-aware and chill person. "honda put his hand on my shoulder for more than 0.5 seconds and my entire nervous system took a screenshot does this mean im g--wait no im just touched starved huh i wonder if that has ever impacted my poor decision making in the past." also him being used for the cartoon standard "guy wears girl clothes and likes it" joke is grounds for me to hc him as genderqueer. I could absolutely see him getting really into fem presentation.

Yami Yugi: gay gay homosexual gay

Kaiba: transfem in the super dysphoric way but will absolutely never find this out because any time she becomes remotely aware of something bothering her about herself she just looks in the mirror and says "no." i also wanna say arospec and aspec but idk she's fully either. i think if i wanted to give you an accurate idea of how attraction works for her i'd have to pull up the homestuck quadrants and i'm not joking.

Yami Bakura: agender is a way that's like "dude I'm a ghost in a ring who cares." If you called him a she he'd be like "what" and then after you got two words into explaining he'd go "nvm I underestimated the amount of shit I don't give about this." His sexuality is no time for dat goku

[n0vabug]

I never meant for this to happen

So basically this story is about the reader and Sam fighting because Sam wants to leave NY, and then she says something that makes the reader really upset and the reader tells Sam to leave, then Sam feels bad and tries to call the reader but the reader doesn't answer and Sam goes back, turns out the reader was attacked by ghostface and then there is more that I don't want to spoil 👍👍

This Contains: Fights scenes, blood, gore, angst, fluff, mentions of depression and mental illnesses, and more, if any of these make you uncomfortable, I recommend that you do NOT read this!! Also if I write in bold in the story, that means ghostface is talking. Words: 1573

Y/N'S POV "PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE SAM, WE JUST MOVED HERE AND BECAME FRIENDS WITH ANIKA AND ETHAN AND QUINN, PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME SAM, BY LEAVING NEW YORK, YOURE LEAVING ME, TARA, CHAD, MINDY, AND EVERYONE ELSE." Tears were forming in my eyes as I spoke, I was upset, I knew that I shouldn't have yelled but I did anyways. She was trying to leave again, but this time, I didn't want to leave, I wasn't going to leave and I told her that, she promised no matter what happened, we wouldn't leave again, I can't believe her.

"I HAVE TO YOU DONT GET IT, I DONT WANT TO DEAL WITH THIS ALL OVER AGAIN, I JUST CANT Y/N, YOU COULD COME WITH ME." Sam said, I honestly felt bad for her but why couldn't she just ignore it, I honestly was mad, but sad?? Idk I just wasn't happy about this, I also hate yelling and fighting, which made me feel even worse.

"HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH US, WE HAVE NO IDEA, ITS HALLOWEEN, PEOPLE ARE GONNA DRESS UP AS GHOSTFACE, ESPECIALLY SERIAL KILLERS, PLEASE DONT LEAVE SAM, I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU." Warm tears were streaming down my face as I spoke, my voice broke mid sentence and I was trying so hard not to just completely break down.

"Y/N, YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND THAT WE COULD DIE BECAUSE OF THIS, YOURE TOO BUSY BEING DEPRESSED ZONING OUT ALL THE TIME TO EVEN NOT....ice, shit i'm so sorry I swear I didn't mean it." She paused when saying notice, she realized she messed up by saying that. But did she just bring up my fucking mental illnesses, wtf. The warm tears stopped as I looked at her with betrayal and sadness in my eyes, why would she fucking bring that up. I think she quickly noticed what she said too because she looked at me with pure regret and sadness.

"Get out sam." I didn't even hesitate to say that, I truly loved her and didn't want her to leave NY, but I needed her to leave my apartment, I couldn't be around her at the moment. "No, wait, I'm sor-" "GET THE FUCK OUT SAM." I know it was wrong of me to yell, again, but it worked because she walked out as quickly as she could. The second she slammed the door, warms tears were pouring out of my eyes again and I couldn't breath, I love my girlfriend so much, but why would she say that, I know she didn't mean it, but still. I walked out of the living room, and walked into my room, trying to calm myself down.

After 5 minutes, I get a call from an unknown number, I quickly try to calm myself so I sound like I wasn't just crying, so I pick up. "Hello?" I said "Hello Y/n" The voice is a bit familiar, too familiar, and not the good type. "Who is this?" I quickly asked. "Are you a little upset Y/n, poor sam, she was only trying to protect herself from getting killed, she didn't want to deal with this a second time, but you took it the wrong way. Shut her out. Didn't even give her a chance to apologize, now poor sam, she's out on her own, what if she gets butchered all because of you, y/n." Shit. Shit. Shit.

Next thing I know I'm running out of my room, towards the door. I can't let Sam die, she's one of the few people who stayed after finding out about my past and my problems. I had to get to her.

Next thing I know, a cold metal blade was pressed into my thigh, with a guy in a black costume and white mask. I screamed as blood dripped down my thigh and bled through my jeans. I then felt the metal enter my stomach 3 times, then get twisted, I screamed as loud as I could, hoping someone would hear me. "Any last words, Y/n" "Is sam ok?" I struggled to speak but managed to get those words out, I truly needed to know if Sam was okay. I needed her to be okay. The guy in the mask then stabbed me in the shoulder one last time. My eyes felt heavy and fluttered close until all I saw was darkness...

SAM'S POV I left the apartment, tears streaming down my face. I didn't mean it. I love her more than anything, and I did not mean what I said. She is the greatest person I know, even if she did have some problems, but so did I, and we were overcoming our problems together, she didn't leave me even after she found out about Billy, I didn't even think about leaving her after finding out about her mental illnesses, so after we moved to NY, I could tell she was happier and getting better, and I know me leaving, broke her heart, I could see the sadness in her eyes and the tears streaming down her face during the argument. I had to go back.

I started walking back towards her apartment and as I did, I picked up my phone trying to call her, even after arguments that we had, she always answered my calls, she was really quick at answering because she always had her phone on her at all times, but this time, she didn't pick up. So I called again. no answer. I was starting to worry, maybe she was just really mad and still wanted to answer, but I was still worried. I started walking quicker until it turned into me running. I had the key to my girlfriend's apartment since she had a spare, and since I practically lived there. I unlocked the door. "Y/n?" I look around until I see something that I wish was a dream. Her lifeless body. In a pool of red liquid. "Y/n?" Tears formed in my eyes. "Y/N PLEASE WAKE UP!" I called 911, as I talked on the phone, I broke down, tears streaming down my face. This is all my fault.

I tried putting pressure on her wounds, but the bleeding didn't stop and the paramedics were taking to long. I picked her up, her cold lifeless body in my arms, her apartment was on the fifth floor, I had to run down the stairs with her, as I ran down the stairs I yelled for help. "HELP" "SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!" I kept saying, until I reached the ground floor, where I met with the paramedics.

They put her onto a stretcher, bandaged her wounds as much as possible, and then put her into the ambulance. I got in the ambulance with her, and held her cold but soft hand the whole way there. I felt terrible, I never meant for any of this to happen.

We arrived at the hospital and they took her in to get stitches since her wounds were deep, so I had to sit in the waiting room until they called my name. After about 45 minutes I got called to the back, "Samantha Carpenter, Y/n L/n is out of surgery, she isn't awake but if you want, you can go wait in her room until she is." "Thank you, I'll go wait with her, what's her room number." I'm glad she was alive, I still feel terrible, all I felt was guilt, if I didn't argue with her and if I just chose to stay in NY, maybe none of this would have happened. "314." Said the lady at the front desk, I walked to room 314, my footsteps grew quicker within each step I took.

I finally reached her room, I opened the door, and pulled a chair next to her bed. She was still asleep, I hated seeing her like this, I just can't help but think this is all my fault. I sat beside her bed, with my head down and one hand on the bed. After a few minutes, I felt a warm and soft touch on top of my hand, I look up, her beautiful y/e/c (your eye color), eyes were looking directly at me, while she was smiling.

"Omg, Y/n, thank god you're okay, I was so worried, I thought you weren't gonna make it, listen I'm so sorry, I never meant for any of this to happen, this is all my fault, I never wanted to leave NY, and especially leave you, I don't think I will leave NY now because I need to keep you safe, but I shouldn't have argued or even yelled, and I feel especially terrible for bringing up the mental health thing, I didn't mean it I swear, I promise you that I never meant to hurt you, I'm so sorry, ple-" I was ranting until I felt her soft lips press against mine, we kissed until we both ran out of breath. "I forgive you sam, I know you didn't mean it, I love you so much" She pulled me into a kiss again, this time a quicker one. "I love you more, I'm never leaving you again." I said, before I hugged her, I hugged her tighter than I ever have before, but also tried avoiding her injuries while hugging her, I love her to the stars and beyond.

A/N I wrote this whole thing while being half a sleep, and really distracted because my bsf was over while I wrote this and I kept pausing in the middle so we could talk to each other. I can't really tell if I like this or not, I don't 100% love the little fight scene at the beginning but idk, there are things that I could fix with both of them. Idk but let me know if you want anymore, also thank you to whoever reads these because I think these are shitty a lot of time and seeing that people actually read this makes me happy so thank you so much!! <3

UPDATE: I HATE THIS SM, THE FIGHT SCENE IS LOWKEY STUPID BC I DON'T THINK SAM WOULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT, BUT HERE IS ANOTHER ONE FROM WATTPAD THAT WAS MADE IN MAY😭😭

[libbee]

Karmic Relationship Concept

Karmic relationship was unfinished in previous lifetimes and purpose is to balance the energy

Both people feel karmic pressure or psychic pressure that "my heart is yearning for this specific person but I dont know whether they really exist"

Both feel like the other is their soul image, that "he/she is the one I was looking for subconsciously"

It is not about how cute, interesting, smart, rich you both are, it is about the feelings you feel for each other, that "I know he/she is flawed, but I cannot resist wanting him/her"

You both may or may not love each other!!! Karmic does not always mean loving or fulfilling. Karmic basically means balance of give and take

It may not be how you fantasize things. You can be in karmic relationship and yet fantasize a fairytale. So be realistic of your expectations 🙏

Sometimes people go through karmic relationship but learn nothing about themselves. They come out with list of complaints how their person was lacking, unfulfilling, disappointing. But the point is major self development

Some karmic relationship is the one that you feel like you were born to be with them, that "if not you, I can't imagine being with someone else". Every karmic relationship varies case by case 💕

But the major sign of how this particular FATED relationship differs from every other relationship is the INTUITIVE knowing of your person. That your intuition knew he/she is the one you want, even before you met them, your imagination and feelings guide you. "I knew about you somehow, I just knew"

Things happen around you that guide you to them. You gain sudden insights that remind you of them. You may even feel like you are changing into the kind of person and personality they are. That "Universe was preparing me for you even before I knew it" 💕

You both feel like doing a lot of things for each other. "You were so empty without me, let me do things for you"

You both find yourself in situations where nobody else comes to your assistance. You are for them and they are for you. No friends and family follow through, only you two are each other's rock

You both may be shocked how your life paths met in hindsight. The babysteps, sleepless nights, twists and turns of events led you to each other. "Zig-zag, that's how I found you"

You both may provoke strong emotions in each other. That "Something heavy in my heart I carried through my childhood, only to show it to you"

Perhaps you both had an intuitive idea of each other. That you had a mental picture of them or something about their personality you always knew or something that is unique or quirky about them that you were not supposed to know beforehand unless it was karmic

To attract karmic relationship, you also need to have the natal placements that trigger them

Whether they will last a lifetime or not, who knows?

You both tackle personal issues and insecurities. That everyone does tackle but in a karmic relationship especially, things and beef with other people sort out and you are at peace with yourself, you sort of forget your past and things change after you meet them

Your values align though they may not align with other people in your life, but this one person he/she is exactly on the same page as you

Maybe you were a social butterfly but you change into a wallflower so you can spend time with someone who actually matters more than anybody else

Perhaps you both had challenging lives but it is all worth it now. This one person makes all the effort worth it

To be continued..

[piplupod]

oh i think I'm going to throw myself into a ravine actually

[katiifaestarot]

THE READING TODAY IS: Message(s) From My Cat Blu ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

-I ended up NOT going with the topic I picked yesterday because it didn't seem right today, but I hope this one still brings peace and clarity or just something you need to hear right now!

-I basically meditated with him on my lap and my cards to bring his energy into the cards to provide the messages💙🐈‍⬛️

Take a peek at the Links for more Messages, Guidance, Clarity, Confirmation, etc!

☆ Newest Youtube Video: Message(s) From Your Higher Self ☆

♡ Follow me on All My Platforms ♡

about me + why i read tarot

The easiest way to support me is by subscribing to my Youtube Channel and Interacting with my content on ALL my platforms!

Personal Readings Opening Soon! 🧚🏽‍♀️✨️

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There are 4 piles and you will be picking through Pictures of Blu (my cat) in the picture right below this text!!!

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✨️🧚🏽‍♀️please choose your pile and may your intuition and inner knowing guide you to the pile with the energy most suited for you and most suited to help you along your path at this current point in time, no matter what that looks like🧚🏽‍♀️✨️

PILE 1- Blu underneath Xmas tree 🎄

PILE 2- Blu inside hamper

PILE 3- Blu being a distinguished gentleman

PILE 4- Blu falling asleep 😴

** sometimes ( most of the time ) i will pick up on multiple energies that need attention or want to be expressed during the reading so i ASK YOU TO UNDERSTAND THIS DURING MY READINGS:

depending on how the reader(YOU) chooses to look at the situation or however the situation resonates for the reader(YOU) and because this is a general reading;

⚠️you HAVE to be able to use your better discernment + better judgement skills to fully absorb the message and be able to do the necessary work to keep you on track for the future you WANT for yourself⚠️

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OKAY PILE 1:

Relax pile 1. It's time to tune into your emotions and give yourself some time and space to figure out what you need right now in this moment of time. Do not care about challenges that come your way because it will all work out the way it needs to and the way it DESERVES too.

You carry the capacity to feel and absorb the emotions of yourself and other people VERY deeply, so make sure your boundaries stay firm when people try to take advantage of that ability of yours.

Ride the waves, Find your groove, and Move in the direction that feels most suited for you! Don't feel bad for going ghost if you are trying to heal and work on yourselves, being a little selfish sometimes can help you own who are authentically and separate others energies from yours!

A lil cleansing would do you good pile 1! You dont need tools either! Taking an intentional shower or bath could work WONDERS for your energy field.

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OKAY PILE 2:

Let go and Move on Pile 2. Give yourself a break from people for a bit, even if that means taking a couple of minutes to yourself and going back to your busy schedule after.

You are strong, but with strength you must also realize its strong of you to show emotion too! Dont become a victim of circumstance. Cry that good cry, Scream that ear-piercing scream, Walk that road less traveled--Feel w/e you have too, so you can fully and wholeheartedly leave your past behind you.

You have been in tough situations all your life, but that does NOT have to be your Norm always. You can change the present day feelings by changing how you view your past.

Dont be afraid of change, dont be afraid of yourself, dont be afraid of what will happen once you accept your reality for what it is, and dont let other people make you feel small just because you can chase your dreams positively and stand in your own confidence and authenticity!

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OKAY PILE 3:

Soooo, Pile 3, theres two separate groups here. Please use YOUR discernment when absorbing this message so you can choose the correct one:

First Group: the future you want is achievable but you have to be willing to go through the slow days and rest, as well as, be excited for whatever life will hand you between these achievements!!!! IT IS OKAY to just be right now and float towards the future, obviously stay proactive but also find time for joy and silly things!

Second Group: Ok so the future you want is achievable BUT you are being complacent and stagnant right now. Its okay to build rest into your routine and "Do-Nothing-Days" too....but you must balance that out with planned, clear, honest action days too!! Happiness is coming, so start preparing before missing those opportunities or moments of joy !!

Both Piles: Get excited about slowness and work in those periods to keep you grounded and stable!

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OKAY PILE 4:

You could be feeling lack luster or bored lately Pile 4, and thats okay!! Life is trying to get you to create from this frustration and slow you down to see the bigger picture!

Theres no harm in being still and listening to what you need or want right now, but there is harm in wallowing and staying in an energy that keeps you stuck or wanting more.

What is it that you truly want? Reevaluate your attitude to match the circumstances you want to be brought in for you.

Boredem and Discontentment could be plaguing your life, DONT LET IT! Balance out your actions, thoughts, and emotions to figure out the best way forward for yourself!!

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I sincerely hope you received what you needed and released what you don't !! See you again soon!! Take it easyyy and just breathe and fllooowwww!!! you got this! byyeee~🧚🏽‍♀️✨️

**Please let me know how I'm doing in any way you can! That is the easiest way to support me and any helpful advice from the community would be welcomed and appreciated 🥺 🥹 🙏🏼

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**I AM NOT A MEDICAL OR HEALTH PROFESSIONAL; PLEASE USE YOUR OWN JUDGEMENT AND DISCERNMENT TO DETERMINE IF YOU NEED OR WANT TO SEEK PROPER HELP OR TREATMENTS FOR YOURSELF OUTSIDE OF TUMBLR OR SOCIAL MEDIA!!

***AND REMEMBER: your own free will is always present within you; which has nothing to do with me or ANYBODY else.

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

[glass--beach]

what's your pasta sauce recipe?

my recipe is very loose and i do it differently every time but it basically goes like this:

chop up a shallot and ~5 cloves of garlic

cook the shallot in olive oil, throw some kosher salt on it, then once it’s starting to get reduced and browned add garlic

let the garlic go for just a second, important not to over cook it at this step, then throw in an anchovy or two + tomato paste

(i know a lot of people hate anchovies and it’s def optional but it adds a very nice savoriness in a very small dose like this, and ive had people who dont like anchovies enjoy this)

sometimes i’ll add some chopped up mushrooms here if we feel like it, and once in a blue moon some chopped up fennel, though lately we haven’t been adding that stuff

next! if i have red wine, i’ll deglaze the pan with it. (aka pour some in, scrape up any residue, let the wine reduce) we usually like to get a cheap wine to cook with and a nicer one to drink. real italian chianti is peak for this

once the wine has reduced, add one 28oz can of cento san marzano peeled tomatoes! this brand is best out of everything we’ve tried, but any peeled tomatoes or tomato sauce will work, whole tomatoes will taste fresher imo but will take a while to break down. which brings us to the next step…

put a lid on the pan but leave it just the tiniest bit open, and let it go on low for as long as it takes to get it where you want it. ill break up the tomatoes with a wooden spoon to help it along. it’s edible at any point in the process but the tomatoes will break down more and more and the flavor will get richer. ill taste it frequently - home chef pro tip: just taste stuff constantly and add whatever it seems like it needs, the more you play with this the more you’ll get an intuition for what spices/herbs/whatever are needed, and if it just seems overall lacking it probably needs more salt - and ill add stuff like dried italian herbs, chopped fresh basil, kosher salt to taste, and just the tiniest bit of ground nutmeg. also bc i’m a freak who loves acidity i find a tiny bit of balsamic can add something to it. if the sauce reduces too much to where it could burn ill mix in a bit of water.

while thats going i’ll cook whatever pasta i’m gonna have with it and if we want meat in the sauce (usually ground beef or italian sausage) i’ll cook it in olive oil in a separate pan with a tiny bit of chopped garlic & salt, set it aside, then mix it into the sauce right before serving

then fresh basil and grated pecorino romano on top if we have it! this is a recipe i do all the time and experiment with a lot, this is so complicated bc there’s a lot of options, but sometimes it’ll just be garlic, shallot and tomato sauce and still taste pretty good. just a matter of what we have on hand and how fancy i’m feeling. thanks for asking i love cooking and i love talking about cooking

[ddlcbrainrot]

Same anon as before yes hello

With Monika I think one thing I always remember with her is that she’s very good at saying stuff she doesn’t seem fully believe. A lot of her act 3 discussions is her acting as if she doesn’t care, that she doesn’t feel guilt, that she truly thinks the others don’t matter. But we know that just isn’t the case. If she never cared then why would she have a protein bar, why didn’t she just delete them all immediately, why did she still have them tucked away? She wants to seem like she’s this all in control mastermind but she just… isn’t. She’s doing so much to try and relate with us but no matter what there’s the part of her that cares that she simply can’t get rid of. She can make her hanging joke, but it’s mostly for us and partially to convince herself. “Oh the player probably doesn’t care, I shouldn’t either, why should I care, the player don’t think they’re real and well they aren’t, but I am.”

For me I rarely call her a full asshole not because what I think she did was right (she fucked up), but because I can constantly see her contradicting herself no matter how hard she tries to be other wise. To me, especially in side stories, Monika wants to SEEM like she’s perfect but she knows in her heart of hearts that she isn’t, that she isn’t capable, that she will never be perfect. But damn it, she has to be. Or else then no one would care about her. Monika definitely seems like she has an ego but it honestly feels so performative for me, especially when in side stories she spends so much time self flagellating herself and her issues as “silly” or “stupid”.

That’s a lot of text and idk if it’s coherent, basically yeah I just think base game Monika tries super hard to seem like some sort of uncaring bad bitch but she isn’t as much as she tries to be. In side stories she’s coming from a good place and in base game it’s a desperate place. Theres a bit of malice there, but it’s not completely her motivator.

And yeah I agree that she wouldn’t automatically become a better person, she’s got a long way. But the first step is to acknowledge the fuck up and that’s what she does after being deleted and being pissy for a bit. And also above all the stuff about her previous guilt that is subtly shown throughout act 3. God she especially realizes some shit after seeing Sayori be in her same position. So in a post game story, she knows she cares about the others and feels guilt. How does she fix it tho? Definitely agree on the self sabotage part, considering Monika doesn’t even let herself be reinstalled in act 4. Her worse enemy is herself. And how can she realize that if no one is able to call her out? Certainly not herself if she thinks it’s the “right thing” to do. It’s all very fascinating and tragic really. But shows how important it is to have other people who are equals to you and can call you out or talk to you, which side stories Monika has in abundance.

I just sent this ask so fast cause I really do enjoy some good conversations about Monika that have so much nuance. She’s so interesting cause of her multitudes.

(And well I’m someone who isn’t on tumblr at all so idk about that, unless some how my writing has breached containment dhdjr)

Monika is a gaslighting queen, even if the person who she is gaslighting is herself lmao. She is definitely not a mastermind, or prefect, even though she wants to appear this way. And she is also not dumb, she knows this. But she keeps trying to convince herself otherwise. I've made a post in the past talking about how obvious her denial is in act 3, and i dont think i need to explain it either, if you play the game and listen to her dialogue its like hilariously and embarrassingly easy to see. There is a slight resentment present for the girls in base game, but its also very apparent that she cares a lot for them even as she tries to convince herself she doesn't.

I wouldn't exactly call her an asshole either, more like... a person who can be sort of shitty sometimes. As for her ego, I do think she truly believes she knows best, and she will follow through with her plans initially without taking into consideration the others, but after she starts second guessing herself quite a lot. Her ego is very contradictory if that makes sense idk

That part about Monika being her worst enemy sums it up pretty well I'd say

(damn maybe my deduction skills aren't as good as i thought then... still i really enjoy ur asks on Monika so I'd say you seeming super cool still stands)

[did-sm1-say-catfish]

thank you for the venom is THE dabihawks song

by no means am I a my chem expert, I am just a casual enjoyer who couldnt help but think of dabihawks. This is my interpretation in a dabihawks way. thank you and pls dont hurt me

The song is about two lovers, one of them pursuing a suicide mission, and the other thinking that they would gladly take that burden from them any day.

Most of the song is from Hawks's perspective. He's watching Touya slowly kill himself in pursuit of revenge. revenge for the beginning of his own destruction. But even with everything, even with every single stray bullet or misplaced burn, he'll still be wanting Touya to be happy. the only way for Touya to feel fulfilled in the black hole he lives in, if for him to finally be able to kill his father. ergo, keigo watches as his lover dies but can't, in good faith, stop him from fulfilling his dreams.

"You'll never make me leave I wear this on my sleeve Give me a reason to believe

So give me all your poison And give me all your pills And give me all your hopeless hearts And make me ill"

Keigo so fucking desperately wants to be able to save Touya from himself and his past. He wants all the poison, the bad experiences, the trauma, the pills, the hopeless hearts. he would be as ill as Touya if it meant that his boyfriend wouldn't have to deal with the trauma and lasting effects of everything he's gone through (the illness)

"Give me a better cause to lead Just give me what I need Give me a reason to believe"

this HAS to be Keigo desperately begging for another way out, or at least to understand his bf. desperately, he wants to understand the reasoning for self destructing and whats seems like giving up.

"You're running after something That you'll never kill If this is what you want Then fire at will"

This, in my book, is obviously about killing Endeavor. Touya is endlessly persisting killing his father (fair tbh) but there doubt in the storyteller aka Keigo. He knows as well as Touya, no matter how little they talk about it, that this is a suicide mission. Endeavor or Touya (or neither) is coming out alive in the end. Its a lose-lose. But as much as keigo knows this, he also has an irrefutable amount of faith in Touya. This may be a suicide mission, but it's his suicide mission. This is what he's worked his whole life for and theres no stopping him so: fire at will. go ahead, go kill your abusive dad, do your silly dance, be a dramatic little bitch. but youre keigos dramatic little bitch. he very well may not make it through, but this is what he wants.

"I'm just the way that the doctor made me,"

Ok, now you would think dabi here, but (maybe) WRONG! Hawks here has undergone everything in the book to make his quirk better and more appealing to the public. He's essentially a statue, likeness carved in the image of perfection. Theres insecurity, like, 'nah bro you dont want this im genetically modified' but this is keigo being the storyteller, and he doesn't realize the way that Touya feels the same way. the insecurity is in both of them, but in a way it makes both of them feel a tiny bit more seen. "Black is the kiss, the touch of the serpent sun It ain't the mark or the scar that makes you one,"

this is basically keigo's response to Touyas insecurity. its saying, 'youre not who you are just because of your scars, you arent who you are because of your appearance or affiliations or high rank of danger shit, you are more' than the fucked up outside (or inside), you are who you are because of your ambition, love, and dedication. You are my love' and then they kiss

the last "fire at will" in the song just feels so painful and desperate. like a final cry for help or goodbye.

thank you for coming to my ted talk

[triglycercule]

dearest triglycercule followers i have a dilemma i require your assistance in

i've been working on this multiverse called swapinverse (you may have seen some teaser posts from me recently :3 it's what i've been grinding out) and in this multiverse it's basically like one character does what another character does while keeping their own elements and having completely different reasons and backstories and stuff and rn i have 8 characters to be done:

savior (dust!killer), mania (horror!dust), paranoia (killer!horror), tint&shade (ink!dream & ink!nightmare), siphon (corrupt nightmare!ink), crash (error!cross)

AND FINALLY vice.SER. a CORE frisk!error. who i have no idea what i'm gonna do. i have a few ideas and i SERIOUSLY cannot pick so (even though i wanted to keep swapinverse a secret) im asking 4 ur help in deciding what i wanna do 😕😕 basically pick the best idea (THESE ARE JUST BASIC CONCEPTS WITH NO DEPTH I HAVE MORE DETAILS THAN THIS) and any suggestions

backstory idea 1: geno/error (unsure of which) falls into the core and gets scattered across spacetime like corefrisk does. this one has issues because corefrisk only exists because of the reset button and geno/error dont have reset despite having determination. also it feels a bit uncreative compared to the others that i have planned (oh the lore for swapinverse characters are SO INTERESTING AHAHAHAH)

backstory idea 2: geno is experimenting with determination and transports himself into the antivoid and his last thoughts before errorfying are something something along the lines of blaming the human (connects with goal idea 3)

goal idea 1: IF idea 1 happens then geno (i think this would be more geno deviating than error so is it REALLY corefrisk!error or just corefrisk!geno) helps other genocide survivors by bringing them to the antivoid/void/omega timeline IDK

goal idea 1.5: other possibility for idea 2 is instead of having pure intentions like idea 2 says, vice.SER is kinda like a villian and corrupting characters by glitching them out in the antivoid and then having that army kill all humans in the multiverse (THIS IS SO DRAMATIC but these are all just possible ideas)

goal idea 2: vice.SER is unpredictable and sometimes decides to be a humanitarian (helping people like in idea 2) and then other days he could be deciding to take over the multiverse. this ideas fun because im kinda struggling to decide if i want vice.SER to do good or bad things (and also the mst haven't met each other and aren't involved in the multiverse so i kinda want him to be the one to drag them into multiversal shenanigans)

idea 3: vice.SER is going around bringing geno survivors and timelines that have gone through genos (since geno has the ability to give back memories to people BUT i have to finish rereading aftertale to see if he keeps this power at the end) and reminding them of the genos theyve been though (for those that dont remember) and he's doing this all in the hopes of going against the players/creators and breaking free from the scripts and plots that we give them

so yeah those are my backstory/goal ideas for vice.SER so far :3 elements i wanna be SURE to keep is geno/error origins, bringing people into a space like CORE does (antivoid or void or omega timeline doesn't matter ill make it work) or if NOT bringing people to spaces then maybe omnisight/presence like CORE (but canon error already kinda has omnisight since he can see the scripts/codes and that's kinda like seeing the past/present/future like omnisight gives you

UGHHH this is so hard but pls i need helllppppp 😭😭

[nikethestatue]

I feel like BB is one of those companies that is successful, but you definitely are left scratching your head wondering why. They cosign or even instigate multiple articles about their biggest seller writing a new book and then publish their financials stating that book is basically over a year away still? What a waste of drummed up excitement. They basically just nuked any real online engagement (their favorite free marketing) until the actual announcement. I don’t think many people can rehash the same Elriel stuff again and again. Or other ships for that matter too. I mean, ive been around long enough to see people re discover Az waltzing for the third time. Third. There are posts pointing that out from 2021. There is no way that their online presence isn’t picking up on fandom burnout. Or, maybe they are just that company that succeeds despite questionable practices.

I am hoping that there is SOME logic to what they are doing. I know thye've been doing February releases, but maybe they want to do something new?

I don't know and don't keep up with other big authors and their release dates, but perhaps they are looking for a time slot that's not crowded? Like, I dont know when Yarros is publishing the next book, but perhaps they want to carve something out for SJM that doesn't have 12 other big releases at the same time?

I know there is a BIG difference between the emotions of the fandom and the financials of the shareholder meeting. Shareholder don't care about shipwars and Gwynriel vs Elriel. So yesterday's meeting was obviously about money and performance, and didn't center around SJM.

I personally think that the challenge for them and for SJM right now, is how to sustain interest in ACOTAR past the next book.

And I don't know who it will happen. So whatever she is writing right now, needs to have a 'hook' for the continuation of the series. Because once we've ran out of Bat boys and Archeron girls, then what?

(My suspicion is that she is gonna end it with Aelin arriving or someone going to Erilea). But SJM needs to build all of it out.

She wrote herself into a corner with CC x ACOTAR. And I think BB know that readers werent pleased with the crossover and the book in general.

So maybe they are making her take the time and produce something decent for once?