#imagine getting killed by an autistic worm lol

[deathbydarkelves]

why has no one asked about Ylrith yet??? please tell us more about Ylrith

:3c

In all fairness, I don’t post about her that much. Mostly because I’m not currently working on any stories that directly involve her so she’s not in my brain as much. I LOVE her, I’m just more focused on the characters I work with more often lol

But basically: poly lesbian mob boss with a snake obsession

She’s the head honcho of a centuries-old crime syndicate called The Gray Order. Ylrith (il-rith) herself usually goes by “The Gray Matron”, but her enemies have given her a plethora of other, similarly sinister names. By now, the Order has connections all across Azeroth, in most any faction worth a damn. The opening up of Kalimdor to the rest of the world was one of the best things to happen to her.

The Order specializes in smuggling drugs, weapons, and other illicit items, but Ylrith will ferry war refugees to safer lands too, and other such things. All she wants is money and more people under her thumb — if you have the money, or are willing to do a favor for her, she’ll help you do what it is you want done. Her trademark phrase isn’t “A favor for a favor, darling” for nothing. Of course, she’s a master of wordcraft, and often gets people to promise more than they think. She’s also got informants everywhere — brothels in the big cities, innkeepers, compromised city guards, and so on — and thus is master of blackmail. You go to her to discuss a deal, you say something she doesn’t like, and she’ll drop a detail about your life you thought no one else knew.

She also has an EXTENSIVE snake collection of species from all over Azeroth and even beyond. If we’re being realistic a lot of the money she makes goes into caring for them lmao she just really loves snakes <3 In fact I was leaning so hard into the snake thing I decided to just say she’s (the elf equivalent of) autistic because no neurotypical person could possibly be that into snakes KSBXBJD Which makes her my second autistic night elf, the first being Cathala 💜 Yet another win for lesbians.

The third key thing about her is the upper crust of the Order are all in a sapphic polycule. They use their powers of polyamory for evil (affectionate). Ylrith is also kind of(?) a “lesbian femme fatale type”. One of her favorite activities is fucking with the royalty of patriarchal cultures like humans by seducing the wives of powerful men and then helping them kill their husbands, the end result being Ylrith now has control over that piece of land at best, and that rich woman’s loyalty at worst. It’s enrichment for her.

Now for more art. This first one is her and her spymaster/favorite assassin/girlfriend Delphine Kaltel, a.k.a. The Serpent’s Fang. Originally Delphine had actually been hired to kill Ylrith but it was an enemies-to-lovers thing <3

This one’s her and her blue dragon girlfriend Tyalagosa, who’s sort of her “court” mage, I suppose:

(She has more gfs/people in the Order’s upper crust, those are just the only two I’ve named, designed, and drawn. One I have yet to draw is Evelyn Torvannas, another Nightborne. She’s the head of a fairly powerful merchant family in Suramar.]

One showing off her other tattoo:

And her voice claim :) (Morrigan from Dragon Age: Inquisition)

Plus this dumb meme that sums her up perfectly imo:

I also like to imagine she has the stupidest most cartoonish rivalry with Shaw lmao. She doesn’t see him as a threat whatsoever and loves toying with the funny little human man, while he fucking HATES her because she’s got her tendrils all up in the Alliance but always worms her way out of repercussions. WLW and MLM hostility.

[detectivedisappointment]

The King of Autism Worms

I wrecked havoc on a Whiteboard session in my IG server

[destressjournal]

Ranking all (109?) DCOMS

Yes! It will be a challenge but I already ranked all 58 Disney animated movies, and once I complete more rankings, maybe I’ll start a blog/podcast about that. Who knows.

The easy part about ranking the Disney films was that each film was unique. The Disney channel films....many of them are pretty similar so I have to remember what each film was about. And this blog can be my way of writing those thoughts down!

So here are my rankings for the 10 first ever Disney channel films!

10. You Lucky Dog

I never heard of this film before i decided to watch all of these in order. And I think there’s a reason. It’s fucking weird. Someone must have been high or something when coming up for the premise of this movie. Like I thought it was supposed to be a movie like Beethoven or Air Bud, just a cute little dog movie about a wacky dog that turns a family up-side down. But no, it’s a dog...therapist??? That had the ability to channel a dog’s mind when he was 14, yet built an entire business based on that ability that he LOST and never got back....and people bought into it??? It’s just the weirdest movie and I really didn’t enjoy a grown man acting and talking like a dog throughout like half the movie. It was weird. I liked the dog. But the rest I didn’t like.

9. Genius

This movie was also weird....but it was better than You Lucky Dog. The logic and the plot points of the story just didn’t line up for me, and the main character was extremely cringey. I had to pause every 10-15 minutes because I literally couldn’t take it. His acting was great! But the lines he was given aren’t good. The story is also really weird, like he was lying about his identity, enrolled himself in middle school while being a college student, faking an entire personality and purposely failed most of his classes, tried everything he could to be in two places at once throughout the whole movie, almost killed everyone in the ice rink due to his negligence of his machine, all to impress some girl. None of the characters I thought were believable, not because of their acting but because of the dialogue and the story, it just doesnt make any sense. But at least it’s about a kid genius and NOT a dog therapist, lol.

8. Brink!

When I first saw this movie I thought it was fine, and then I sat with it for a bit and it got further down my list. There are parts of the story that don’t make sense to me, like don’t you have to compete in the invitational to compete in the championship? Cuz the main characters didn’t even show up and they’re still able to enroll their team in the finals?? And it’s supposed to be a national event of the best teams in the country, and these kids literally just stroll in out of nowhere with their dinky dog groomer shirts, can just sign up, and then beat all the professional sponsored teams?? So yeah, this movie loses points because the logic doesn’t line up. But I think the lesson is good, that who you are is different than what you do, and that your value shouldn’t be determined by how productive you are at something. The execution of that lesson is a little iffy though.

7. Under Wraps

The first ever DCOM and it shows. DCOMs will never be like this ever again! It was more mature and dark than anything we have today on Disney channel. That alone gives it some points. However, as a movie, it’s missing the connection you make with the characters. I just personally didn’t think any of them were interesting. The mummy was cute and funny at times, but sometimes the slapstick jokes and gags were a little over the top. Also, I just kept hearing Patrick from spongebob every time the mummy made any noise, and that ruined it a little for me. I know it’s the same voice actor lol. But I do like the touch that the main character’s mom’s bf are the same actor, making the connection between them a little easier. And at least the logic (pretty much) lined up for this movie. I might watch every Halloween, we’ll see.

6. Can of Worms

This movie was only SLIGHTLY better than Under Wraps. And that’s only because I felt a good connection with the main character, Mike. You can tell because I actually remembered his name. He’s a relatable character to me and his acting was very good. I have personally met people that talk and act exactly like Mike, and I honestly think his character represents someone on the autism spectrum very well (I’m autistic too so don’t get mad at me stereotyping). I’m not saying he represents everybody, or even me, just that I’ve met people like him before. His desire to fit in and be normal, and then later his desire to get off earth, was I think the most powerful part of the movie. He truly believed he was an alien from outer space because it made more sense in his mind than believing he was just different, because there was no possible way he could be the same species if everything he says and does is considered “weird”. I related SO hard to this, because it’s exactly what being autistic can be like. I was really into the first half of the movie, and then....the second half with the aliens was just dumb. It became a generic alien monster movie, with some tiny good parts sprinkled in. But the ending just didn’t make sense....mike still plays football at the end even though he’s not good and doesn’t like it....? Like he’s still trying to force it because he thinks “this is where he belongs”. Like you could have easily showed him building robots with new friends in robotics club (something that he’s good at and likes) and then hanging out with the rest of his friends after to send that message home. That you can usually find a place where you belong. So anyway, this movie is stuck in the middle for me.

5. Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century

Now we’re gonna get into the more popular ones. I think I would have enjoyed this so much more as a kid, but I didn’t grow up with it. This was my first ever viewing. The movie itself is pretty good, and it’s so interesting to see what people in the late 90’s thought about what the future would be like. Flying cars, computers you can hold in your hand, taking commercial flights to space, etc. but it was all still based on 90’s technology at the same time, it was really interesting. The biggest aspect of the movie that makes it lose points for me, is Zenon as a character. I like her, don’t get me wrong! But she hardly changes throughout the movie. Yes she learns to like earth but then at the end of the movie she’s happy to be back in space and that’s it. Now, I haven’t seen the sequels yet, but JUST based on this movie alone, I think it would have been more valuable to show her traveling back and forth, or say “Hey Greg, wanna see each other next week?” Just something to show that she likes earth now. But even then, that’s the only aspect of her that changed. All the antics she got in were justifiable, she was right the whole time. It was on everyone else to change to see her perspective. And I just don’t like when movies do this. I need characters to have reasonable flaws and learn to either accept them or change them depending on the situation. Also, this is just a little nit pick, but WOW that song at the end was so bad yet it’s STILL stuck in my head...they call this a rock and roll song yet I didn’t hear any guitar or bass. Even the drums were just kicks and pops made on the computer, that doesn’t sound like what an actual drum sounds like...It’s just a pop song. Call it for what it is people! The lyrics were good tho.

4. Halloweentown

I’ll probably get some hate for putting this at number 4, but when I was watching another review on a YouTube channel, they pointed out how annoying Marnie was, and now I see it. She’s not unbearably annoying, but enough to be like “wow, this kid is a bit of a brat. I would never talk to my mom like that.” On one hand, I see how she matured throughout the movie, so I think it makes sense for her to be a little obnoxious and naive, she’s just a kid. On the other hand, you’re supposed to like your main character and root for them, which doesn’t help if you think they’re a brat. I didn’t grow up with this movie either, so maybe that’s why I didnt immediately put it as number 1, cuz there’s no nostalgia factor. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t like it. It’s still a good movie that I will watch every halloween! I liked the characters and the story, and things seemed to flow together pretty well. The only reason it lost points for me, were the over-the-top gags. I get it, the movie is made for kids, and I always keep that in mind when I watch these, but sometimes it gets a little too silly for a movie about a dark overlord who wants to get rid of humans. Idk. Still like it though!

3. The Thirteenth Year

Okay, I admit it. This one is a guilty pleasure for me. I’m sorry. I feel like Halloweentown should be at 3 and this one at 4 if I want to be truly objective, but I have too many nostalgia feels for this movie. And I like that the tone is more serious and there aren’t any silly over-the-top gags. But that doesn’t mean this movie is perfect, it’s at number 3 for a reason. The last few times I watched this were when I was a kid in the early 2000’s, so as a kid I loved this movie. And I was also obsessed with mermaids and I wanted to be one so bad. This movie kind of fulfilled this dream for me, and other movies like Aquamarine and The Little mermaid. But anyway, after watching this as an adult, it doesn’t exactly hold up. Sam is kind of an annoying character who doesn’t add much to the movie. She’s just the popular girl, and another reason for Cody to stay with the popular crowd. She gives him a picture of herself as a birthday gift...? I think it would be an okay anniversary gift for adults who are dating, not kids. It just rubs me the wrong way. Also, the kid who plays Cody is not a very good actor...he’s just okay. Everything else about the movie, still love!!

2. Smart House

I grew up with this one too, and again, they try to imagine what a futuristic house would look like in the 90’s. And half that stuff actually came true with things like Siri and alexa, which is pretty neat to see almost 30 years after this movie came out. Still what kid wouldn’t want to have a giant screen on their wall showing something like a music video, the beach, or a basketball game. Every kid wanted to live in that smart house back then. The movie still holds up pretty well today, not because of the technology but because of the message and the characters. All of the actors and actresses were wonderful! The story is so sad but believable. I’ve never gone through a parent death, but I’ve had friends that have, and it’s such a weird dynamic when the other parent starts dating for the first time after. I can’t imagine what effect that can have on a young child. At least when my friends went through it they were at least in high school, if not, college. So they had a bit more understanding/maturity about it. But yeah, the kid who plays Ben rocked his part. Some tiny nitpicks include the house itself being somewhat outdated now, and the side characters presence in the film. They don’t have much significance, idk. The movie really tugs at your emotions, and is definitely the movie that got me closest to crying so far.

1. Johnny Tsunami

This was my first viewing, as I didn’t grow up with this one either. Compared to Smart House, which is honestly just an emotional roller coaster, this is just a good movie imo. It was more epic, it had more diversity, great acting, and a plot that made sense thematically. There wasn’t over-the-top slapstick gags, and I think it teaches good lessons about life. I honestly thought the grandpa was gonna die because that’s usually what happens to old wise mentors, but I’m glad it stayed away from that trope and actually brought him back for the end of the movie. I thought that was an interesting touch. Basically, while I was watching these I was thinking “okay this can be done better” “I don’t like this” “this feels too forced”, but with this one, I was just watching a movie most of the time. I honestly don’t know how it could be much better. It’s still not the best Disney channel movie ever (I’m guessing), and it still has some flaws. For example, the girl character was being such a flip flop throughout the whole movie and was being a little too mean to Johnny. Another tiny nitpick is when johnny’s parents are like “yeah we’re moving to Vermont” I was expecting a little more pushback from Johnny but he’s like “awww okay” and idk what to think about it because it could be considered out of character. Otherwise, this is a great unique movie that I will definitely rewatch in the future.

For every movie that I watch, I’m going to review it separately and that’s how I’ll keep track of my thoughts as I go through each film. But this is where I stand for the first 10 DCOMs. Unlike the Disney animated classics, I don’t know what my number one film is. Right now it’s Johnny Tsunami but that is definitely going to change. I can’t wait to see what my personal favorite will be! It may come down to several.