#imagine if partner had slowly gone ahead with their life and somewhat even accepted everything

[driftingballoons]

So, how was it to not exist?

mixed reviews

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Your Neighbour

Prompt: #18 for @lazypostfandomer – “You can’t just sit there all day.”

lazypostfandomer said:

18, Jaebum Hopefully angst with a fluffy ending? Your wish. Thanks in advance

Pairing: Im Jaebum x reader

Genre: angst / fluff / neighbours to lovers au

Warnings: none

Word count: 2335

You couldn’t tell what day it was or how long you had been seated on this sofa for. The curtains were closed and you had no recognition of what day or night meant anymore. Those who had come to check on you in beginning dwindled off and you didn’t know when you last ate. You felt pathetic even though it was too overwhelming to consider life without him now.

You had always thought you and Jackson would last forever. You had been high school sweethearts and everyone had joked you would be the first ones to get married. When you went onto college, you had scheduled your different degrees to match up so you could still see each other every day. You studied and worked out together, and you even moved into an apartment together in your second year. You had thought that life couldn’t get any better than this.  

You hadn’t anticipated that to change.

“I’ve been offered a job in Hong Kong,” he mentioned quietly, his gaze not meeting yours. You blinked a few times and then smiled.

“Well, isn’t that great? For how long? Six weeks? It’s just an internship, right?”

“The contract is for two years.”

You faltered for a moment, trying to calculate how you could make this work. Jackson had been working too hard for you to get needy and hold him back from any career advancements. You tried to smile. “I mean, I could fly to you during breaks.”

“You’d do that?” he asked, looking up at you with eyes full of emotion. “You’d let me go there?”

“Don’t you want to go?”

“Of course, I do.”

You smiled more genuinely. “We can make it work then.”

In the first six months, everything went smoothly. You spoke to Jackson as often as you could thanks to the advances in technology and you had visited him over your last vacation. He was working really hard and you were so proud of him. But when he landed a promotion, he slowly shut off from you.

“I’m busy, they need me to stay back later,” he’d message you when he missed your calls, and some weeks you didn’t even hear from him. You started to worry he was going to become married to his job and not you.

The distance between you physically only created further distance as a couple too. Jackson had a new group of friends who you saw he spent a lot of time with through his social media account and you couldn’t help but grow jealous. Your conversations often turned hostile and one night he called you in the middle of the night, incredibly drunk.

“Y/N,” he said, panting heavily from the exertion of his intoxication. “This isn’t working anymore, is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Us. We’re not working.”

“We can improve on things, I will visit more and when you come back home. I-”

“I’m not coming back, Y/N.” It was painful to hear that from the man you had put some of your life on hold for over the past eighteen months. Jackson groaned, and you realised he was drunk because he needed the liquid courage to tell you how he truly felt. “I like it here, I’m not coming back.”

“Well, what about me?” you asked, hoping he would beg you to come to him. Although you had your own plans for your future that didn’t include living overseas, you would do it if Jackson wanted you there.

He didn’t say anything though. The tears began to fall then and you sobbed on the phone together for an hour before he clicked off.

And just like that, everything crashed down.

Had you not been so naïve, you would have seen this coming. As you spent your days on this sofa, you considered every part of the past year and a half. Where you could have tried harder, where you had done too much. How you had become paranoid, you realised your relationship with Jackson hadn’t been healthy for months.

It didn’t make you hurt any less though.

“You can’t just sit there all day.”

You glanced up at your neighbour, Jaebum sighing heavily from finding you still in the same place he had left you two days before. He knew you were suffering but he also decided letting you sit here any longer was the worst thing you could continue doing. He had grown concerned when you hadn’t come to collect the mail that had piled up a couple of weeks ago and had started appearing now and then. You needed to get up and face the world again. It hadn’t stopped whilst you had and you couldn’t waste your youth away in this apartment either.

You soon moved your focus away from him, staring at the wall ahead of you. Jaebum groaned and moved into your view again. “Y/N.”

“Why are you here?” He bit back his concern at how hollow you sounded. He knew you didn’t need him to coddle you. “Everyone else has stopped bothering me.”

“Am I bothering you?” he asked and you managed a small nod. “Good. It’s time to get up and into the shower now. In case you lost your sense of smell, you kind of stink.”

He could tell it was the first time someone had been this blunt with you. Your gaze shifted to his and he moved to your side to gently pry you from the sofa cushion. Directing you over to your bathroom, he smiled brightly. “Whilst you shower, I’ll prepare you some food.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“I don’t care.”

You glared at him for a moment, and even he wondered why he was putting in so much effort. He merely ignored your gaze and gave you another gentle prod. You reluctantly turned to go into the bathroom and he heard the sound of the shower turn on a moment later. Jaebum sighed in relief; it was the start of something.

It took several weeks and Jaebum’s constant nagging, but you were finally feeling more like a human again. You decided to return to your final year of schooling, and somehow despite your prolonged absence, you had an internship lined up to move right into. Being busy was actually more helpful than wallowing in your pain. You found the more productive you were, the further you felt fulfilled. You started meeting with your friends again and picked up a couple of new hobbies. You became hopeful for your future, one where you didn’t just assume to be the married partner of someone else. You had begun to think of what you needed, and what you hoped to have in ten years.

You had a new lease on life.

But there was one thing you couldn’t stop doing no matter how much you tried. You relied on Jaebum more than you expected to. At nights, when you were your loneliest, he would somehow feel it through the wall that separated your apartments and appear on your doorstep with snacks and a movie under his arm. On the weekends, he would take you out on day trips or to different places around the city. When you were happy he was the first person you told your good news to. And when you were struggling it was his shoulder you cried onto.

A small part of you was embarrassed that someone who had been a mere neighbour to you was now the person you used as a crutch. You often had nightmares of him leaving you and the fear would send you out of your bed and to his front door, knocking on it until he blearily opened it up and you could see him with your own eyes. You knew it was unhealthy and yet you craved him like no other.

Jaebum was honest at all times. He told you when you were strong enough to do things on your own. He ensured you had help when you needed it. And he had become your closest friend. It was a different relationship than what you had with Jackson; with him, it had always been light and full of romance. Even though you hadn’t expressed any romantic notions towards Jaebum, somehow it was him who you imagined when you wanted to snuggle into someone in bed at night. You imagined what it would be like to wake up each morning beside him. You had even gone as far as to fantasise about him telling you he loved you. Of course, you never told him any of this, and Jaebum never made any moves on you.

As much as you needed him, it hurt that he didn’t seem to need you back.

You decided you would try to break free from your dependency. You were doing better than you had been four months ago, and you couldn’t expect Jaebum to be there forever. Eventually, he would move on and you would need to accept this fate.

“I’ve decided to move out,” you told him over dinner, your gaze unable to lift from your plate.

“I guess you need to close the chapter on your relationship,” he said simply and you nodded distantly, wondering why it hurt so much that he answered so easily. You cursed your romantic notions that had hoped for a bigger reaction than that.

“I haven’t found a place but I’ll let you know when I do.”

“It will be good for you, Y/N,” Jaebum encouraged and you picked at your meal. “I’m proud of you.”

You didn’t feel anything but sadness.

You went ahead and started searching. You found a few places that didn’t look so bad online but in person weren’t suitable and for a couple of weeks, you were unsuccessful. And then you found one, finding yourself somewhat annoyed that you couldn’t refute it. You tried to be happy as you made arrangements with the agent to sign the lease papers in two days time. You sent Jaebum a message about your success and carried on with your day.

By the evening, you hadn’t heard from Jaebum and you wondered if you should visit him to make sure he got your message earlier. The read flag had appeared by your message so it confused you as to why he hadn’t responded yet. You left it down to him being busy and decided not to bother him. After all, your whole point to moving out stemmed from a need to shake off your growing feelings for the man who had healed your heart. You chanted this repeatedly as you packed up some of your belongings and then as you washed up before bed. The last thing you remembered before falling asleep was your constant affirmation.

And then you woke up with a jolt, hearing banging on the front door. You blearily pulled yourself out of bed and padded to the front door, frowning when you saw Jaebum outside through the monitor.

You opened the door. “You have the code, why didn’t you just come in?”

Jaebum ran a hand through his hair agitatedly, his eyes barely landing on yours before he stepped inside, pacing in your living space a little. He glanced to your half-packed boxes and groaned.

“Jaebum?”

“Are you really moving?” he asked, as if the boxes weren’t enough proof. You watched him silently, trying to understand his current state. He didn’t smell of liquor and apart from his distressed expression, he seemed completely sober.

You nodded slowly. “I messaged you, didn’t you see?”

“Ah, right.”

“Are you okay?”

“No.” He seemed shocked by his admission, swallowing before scratching at his hair awkwardly. It surprised you to see him like this. You wondered if you had once looked this wired up. Jaebum cleared his throat noisily. “I uh… never mind.”

He moved to go pass you for the door again but you stopped him, grabbing onto his forearm. He turned to look at you and you noticed several emotions cross his face. You furrowed your brows together as you stepped closer. “What’s wrong?”

“Honestly?” he asked and you nodded. “I don’t want you to go.”

“But you told me-”

“I panicked because I didn’t want to seem pathetic for how I felt. You see me as the guy who saved you. I mean, I’m glad you do, but, but…”

You blinked several times before you smiled. “I like you.”

“What?” Jaebum stared at you in disbelief. “What did you just say?”

“I did see you like that but then I started to develop feelings and I worried I was being unhealthy towards you because I started to like you. So I decided I would move away so I could solve my dependency and hopefully remove my crush too.”

“You like me?” he repeated and your smile grew. You didn’t feel anxious at all with your admission. It was a relief to finally speak it out into existence. Jaebum soon smiled, pulling you closer. “Really?”

“Just do something about it already or I will,” you teased and Jaebum sighed, cupping your face before he kissed you hesitantly. You smiled as you melted into the embrace, confirming every daydream you had had about his lips. They were as kissable as you imagined.

When he shifted back, he brushed your hair away from your face. “Do you still need to move?”

You winced lightly. “My lease here is up and I told the landlord already.”

“I uh, have a spare room.”

“From neighbours to roommates?” you asked, and Jaebum chuckled. “Are you sure?”

“I couldn’t imagine you moving away from me for good.”

“What if you end up not liking me, I’ll be living with you,” you asked and Jaebum shook his head immediately.

“I’ve seen you at your worst, there’s no way I couldn’t like you.”

You gaped at him, even though you were used to his honesty. You laughed it off and shook your head. “Okay, so we’re definitely going to be roommates?”

“And lovers,” Jaebum confirmed, kissing you again.

__________________

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