#implied as in the book will just SAY theyre chasing after each other. and TELL you they feel anything.

[gayemoji]

for how bad killing eve got the books are infinitely worse.

[kingofattolia]

a very spoilery list of things about Return of the Thief

by Megan Whalen Turner

Okay FIRST OF ALL. That tagline on the back of the book was mean. I almost had a heart attack and dropped dead on the questionably clean carpet of a deserted Barnes & Noble when I picked it up. RUDE.

Second of all... it was SO GOOD. My non-spoilery summary would be that its a thorough blend of QoA and KoA.

“because history is written by the winners” REALLY

no i’m not over it. like yes I remembered the Erondites kid from Thick as Thieves but I almost died FIRST  

okay, can I just say. I am flabbergasted by how HAPPY this entire book was

yes it had the obligatory angst and tension and war but HONESTLY. a solid two thirds of it was pure shenanigans. and everyone is here together? and there’s no bitterness and underground resentment? and nobody is betraying anybody? and HERE WE ARE. FINALLY. AT THE POINT WE HAVE WORKED SO HARD TO REACH

i was sure Gen was going to die and if not he was going to lose everything he wanted and there was going to be some horrible bittersweet twist

BUT NO. 

INSTEAD, PURE UNADULTERATED HAPPINESS

MMMMMPGHFMMGJFMGHFMFHG 

I’M SO GRATEFUL?????????? I NEVER IMAGINED THIS DAY WOULD COME

anyway. on the same topic. Gen/Irene and Sophos/Eddis

YOU GUYS

THIS BOOK

PURE UNDERSTATED RELATIONSHIP GOLD OF THE MOST CLASSIC KIND

they are so in love

and the other relationships are SO GOOD. Gen and Eddis has always been one of my favorite dynamics and they are SO GOOD

they understand each other!!! they mock each others suffering!! they love each other!!! and also yell at each other!! amazing. fabulous. iconic

the only pairs that weren’t given its due was Gen and Sophos and Gen and Costis. Costis in general, was there far too little. And Sophos gets a few great, shining moments, but spends most of his time with Eddis

am I................................................... the only one who didn’t see Relius/Teleus coming

or was that surprising to everyone

too bad their names rhyme so unfortunately

I think in this book we truly see, in a way we have not yet been allowed to fully realize, that Eddisians are by nature fully feral

Like no wonder they did so comparatively well in a war against a more powerful nation, aside from their natural terrain advantages, each and every one of them is an absolute lunatic

Beating Gen to a bloody pulp in some arcane initiation ritual??

Chasing Gen through the palace for no reason????

That dude who implied they had done this a lot before and that it was also considered perfectly normal at home to STAB HIM WITH KNIVES IF POSSIBLE during this game??????

ALSO the window into Gen’s past. I don’t think we’ve ever been told upfront how dangerous and tenuous Gen’s position in Eddis was.

The little story in the back about the earring. EERIE.

The sheer writerly gall exhibited by MWT, honestly. First of all, our POV narrator just wakes up and tells us that he’s missed Sophos and Eddis’s wedding. Yeah, we’re just skipping that scene. Why describe it?

Not describing a SINGLE battle.

Me, weeping: Megan please I’m not smart enough to imagine it

MWT: then perish

Tossing in shocking sentences on purpose to make us think for a split second that Gen died. This happened at least three times.

Gen speaking sign language because of course he does

Pheris makes a very interesting POV character, especially given all the similarities he and Gen have

THE SCENE WHERE SOPHOS DROPS WATER ON GEN’S HEAD AND GEN ALMOST KILLS BOTH OF THEM. CHILDREN. and like, Gen deserved it.

“If he were more kinglike, we both know he wouldn’t be king.”

ALSO, Attolia in this? We get to see her PERSONALITY. we get to see her make JOKES. we get to see her being more of a person and more comfortable and more confident than I’ve EVER seen before. she is THRIVING, YOU GUYS

THEY ARE SO GOOD FOR EACH OTHER

I love the “Attolia and Eddis are really good at war since, after all, they were at war with each other not that long ago, so they are in charge while Gen and Sophos do who knows what down with the soldiers” dynamic so much

THE SCENE WHERE THE PENT AMBASSADOR KISSES ATTOLIA

Gen: >:O

The Pent:

Attolia: *sigh* RUN

MPGHFJGHG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LITERALLY was making the weirdest squeaking noise out loud. 

i cannot BELIEVE this happened. in the time of QoA no one would have DARED. i can’t believe Gen tried to knife him, and I can’t believe he MISSED, and i can’t believe Gen and Attolia spent the whole rest of the night in a pillow fort together. they’re so wholesome in a weird, evil way.

Gen abdicating the throne out of pure spite, and ATTOLIA SAYING SHE WOULD GO WITH HIM

We still don’t know why Gen is chronically ill!!!!!!!!!!!!

LITERALLY smiting Erondites with divine lightning l o l 

The Medes really decided that bringing Gen right into the heart of their camp and making him Really Mad was the smartest play. Amazing.

Did we know tattoos were an Eddisian cultural thing before this?? Did I just totally blank out on that??? Or was this new information?

Ion Nomenus can CHOKE

How like Gen to make “I can do anything I want” his entire creed and conveniently leave out the last part of his grandfather’s advice.

“When the king gives his heart, he gives it completely.”

MMMMMMMMMMMMMM THE BABIES

YEAH WE’RE HAPPY

“A king and his Thief” Y’ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CANT BELIEFV THEYRE ALL GOING TO LIVE AND BE ONE BIG FAMILY AND SO HAPPY FOREVER AND EVER