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cavinginhisfvce · 2 years

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'Mama?' | ANTIS DNI.

If he thinks long enough, hard enough, Billy can almost vividly picture smooth brown skin, chocolate colored eyes framed by long, gorgeous lashes, and red painted lips.

If he closes his eyes real tight, he can see his mother in all her wonderful glory, smiling down at him as blonde dyed curls whipped wildly in the warm California breeze. He remembers the day she swept him up in her arms and asked if her hair looked good. Billy remembers telling her they matched now! BillyBee and Mama, with their blond hair and long lashes. If not for the fact her skin had been darker than his, his eyes blue while hers were brown, Billy would've been her perfect double.

On a good day, he can hear her whispered promises of loving him forever, can hear her honey sweet voice singing along to the radio while she applied her makeup.

On a bad day, he can hear her cries from his parents bedroom, he doesn't like those days very much.

He remembers the first time he saw his mother with a bruise tainting her otherwise flawless skin, she had tried to cover it up with makeup before Billy could see, but he was quicker than she remembered. He was growing everyday, sometimes it was so hard to keep up.

On the absolute worst days, he remembers the day she tearfully hugged him to her chest, nimble fingers carding through his mess of curls, her voice was watery, and strained. "Mama has to go, baby. But she'll be back, okay? I promise, Little Bird, I'll always come back."

Billy wasn't sure she ever would.

He was too young to understand why she'd left, too young to understand that his father had never been kind to his mother because of who she was. His father never failed to spit nasty slurs in her direction whenever she upset him. She wishes she clocked him for the racist he truly was before they got married, before she knew she was expecting. She always wished she saw the signs before her son was born.

Billy was too young to understand that she left to better their situation one day down the line.

But he's older now, understands a lot more than he used to.

He understands why Susan and Max were never allowed to see pictures of Billy's mother, he understands why neither of them know Billy is mixed with black, and a bit of Puerto Rican. Because Neil didn't allow it. Didn't allow Billy. Didn't allow his mother.

When Max meets Lucas after their move from California, the reason for said move still unbeknownst to the siblings, Billy vaguely warns Max against getting involved with him.

He can tell based off the obvious disgust in her face, she assumes he dislikes Lucas for being black.

Which couldn't be further from the fucking truth.

He had wanted to laugh at her expression, but he refrained. Merely shrugging as he started up the car and peeled out the school's parking lot.

It was her funeral, not his.

Except it would be his, because his father would just assume his son was the reason Max had associated with such people.

In the early weeks of December, Neil had gone on a work trip, leaving Billy, Max and Susan with free reign of the house.

Max had been asking Billy questions about his mother all day, and at first he shrugged her attempts off, his mood souring at the fact he couldn't even talk about his mother because Neil would disapprove.

But, it dawned on him that Neil wasn't there, and he wouldn't be home for a little over a week. He could finally tell Max, at least a little of the woman he missed more with each day.

So, he did.

He told her as much about his mother as he could bother to remember. Some memories always hurt more than others. He avoided those.

It isn't until Max asks to see a photo of her, that Billy drags her to his room and retrieves a small photo album.

He toys with it, clearly debating with himself, before he thrusts the book in her direction, his eyes never meeting hers.

She's silent as she skims through the pictures, aside from the small gasp she let out when she saw the first photo of her. Billy's mother was beautiful. Breathtaking even. But it was not only her beauty that shocked the girl.

Max gently traced the outline of one picture, Billy was perched on his mother's hip, his smile blinding in a way Max has never seen, while his mom's head was thrown back in laughter. This picture, unlike all the others, had words at the bottom.

She didn't recognize the writing to be Billy's, but she guessed it was his mother's. "BILLYBEE'S SIXTH BIRTHDAY"

The next picture is of an older Billy, maybe twelve, with a frown on his lips as his mother wipes at his cheek with her thumb, obviously swiping away something.

When she flips to the next page, it's blank, despite there being several pages left.

After a beat, she whispers, "why didn't you ever tell me?"

Billy, for his part looks ashamed, shrugging as he closes in on himself, "wasn't allowed to."

She wants to ask what he means, but her mom walking into the room cuts her off.

She seems to observe the pair before her eyes find the opened photo album, her brows pinched gently as she tilts her head.

Billy tenses up, prepared to hear the same insults his father threw in his mother's face, and then his own the older he got.

But, no such insults came. Instead, Susan had simply smiled at them and scurried off into the kitchen.

Max and Billy made eye contact, both curious as to what her deal was.

Eventually, the day shifted into night, and Max was once again in Billy's room, though she stayed at the door this time.

"Do you miss her?" It didn't take a genius to figure out who she was talking about, so Billy just nodded and threw his head back against his headboard with a soft thud.

"Yeah...I probably shouldn't, considering she left me with him. But, I get it. At least a little, y'know?"

Max didn't know, but she nodded anyway.

By Wednesday, any conversations of Billy's mother were gone, in their place was a house full of Max's loser friends, and Steve Harrington. Or rather, Steve Harrington's house full of children.

Billy wouldn't admit to anyone to anyone but Steve that he was there solely for him, but he had no one else to tell anyway.

The day was going well, all things considered, until the doorbell pierced the air and disrupted the heated argument the kids were having about one thing or the other, for less than a second before they started up again.

Steve was the one to open the door, meaning Billy was dragged along with him due to their tangled hand. And Billy would rather chew off his own fucking foot than let go of Steve's hand for any reason short of his father showing up.

His reluctance to let go of his boyfriend’s hand proved to be a mistake, because the moment the door opened, all Billy wanted to do was flee. Run out the door, jump out the window. Something, anything just to get away.

Instead, he stayed glued to his spot, his eyes unblinking as he swallowed past the lump in his throat.

"Mama?" Steve immediately went wide eyed, noting the childlike shock in his boyfriend’s voice.

Before Steve could register much else, his boyfriend had launched himself the short distance, at the woman, a sob ripping from him as she wrapped her arms around the shaking boy.

Steve suddenly felt like he was intruding, and had made to leave, before being tugged back by the hand that gripped his own.

A silent plea for him to stay, which he happily obliged.

After what felt like an eternity, Billy had peeled himself for his mother's arms and shakily gestured to Steve, "Mama, this is my Steve, boyfriend," he paused, letting out a breath, "my boyfriend, Steve." He corrected, though he hadn't met her gaze.

Afraid of her reaction. Of the situation.

But the woman just smiles warmly and offers him a wave, "Hello, boyfriend Steve, I'm Billy's mother, Bria." There's a slight teasing to her tone, but it isn't unkind.

She turns to her son, seeming to take him in as she blinks away tears, "four years later and my BillyBee is all grown up, huh?"

Steve remembers Billy telling him his mother had left when he was around twelve, the boy was only sixteen now.

"What are you doing here?" He doesn't sound angry, just shocked, maybe a little weary. But she seems unperturbed, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"I tried to find you last year. But Argyle's grandmother told me your father moved you all out of California. Said they had no clue where he'd taken you." She pauses, pursing her lips momentarily, "I tried to figure out where he'd taken you, but it was hopeless for a bit." She trails off, her tongue clicking thoughtfully.

"Then I got a call. From Susan. We used to work together after I left your father. When she got married, I had no clue it was to Neil. I never told her about him. Then she suddenly moved, and I didn't hear from her until earlier this week."

Billy nods, and Steve yet again is struck with the feeling of intruding, before Billy is squeezing his hand in an effort to ground himself.

"Long story short, she called me and told me your father would be gone, told me where I could find you." She seems to inhale sharply, fingers curling loosely into fists as she stares up at her son.

"I should've come back sooner, but I needed stability before I could even attempt gaining custody of you, baby." She reaches out and takes his free hand, "I see you've built a corner in the world for yourself here, and I won't take that from you. But, I'm not leaving again, Billy. I'm going to fight for you, for our family. I've already filed for temporary custody. The Chief was very helpful."

Billy yet again nods his head, his eyes filling with tears as he grips both Steve's hand and his mom's. "We can stay in Hawkins? I can stay with Max and Steve…?" His mother nods her head this time, smiling up at both boys,

"Of course, Susan told me how close you and Max have gotten, I'd never want to take you away from your sister." She swipes at a stray tear on Billy's cheek, "I don't think I could separate you from Steve, anyhow. You've got a vice grip on his hand, baby. Anywhere you went you'd drag the poor boy along with you."

Steve for his part lets out a laugh when Billy sputters, the elder boy just bumping their shoulders, "I'd probably be the one refusing to let go, ma'am. Max has to bring a crowbar to pry us apart."

Billy's mother laughs at that, her nose scrunched up in the same fashion Billy's does when he finds something particularly humorous. "I don't doubt it." She tilts her head up to meet Steve's gaze, "Call me Bria, none of that 'ma'am' business, you're my son's boyfriend. You're family as far as I'm concerned."

Steve returns her smile, while Billy watches the duo interact, a wide smile twinged with disbelief on his lips.

I can't wait to introduce her to Max.

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