#in survival mode ... so didnt always get a chance to process things fully
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got back from the lake last night
it was a ton of fun and we spent most of it zooted out of our minds. but it also really hit me how much has changed in the last 8+ years. seeing a bunch of people that I hadnt seen since my teens or early 20s. it strangely put a lot of things into perspective for me, especially considering I feel like I lost time due to the pandemic.
all in all, a lot of relaxing and chatting and eating good food!
#[static]#realizing 'hey your closest friend leaving at 22 did impact you a lot' as a 29 year old put stuff into perspective for me#i usually just push through harder events and dont give myself time to process them fully since i spent the first 25 years of my life#in survival mode ... so didnt always get a chance to process things fully#in the last year or two i feel like ive finally gotten a chance to start processing Events in my life#but realizing 'oh we were Young and it wasn't just three years ago when you left' and almost a whole decade has gone by#ive done a lot in that decade but it definitely hit me How long it's been since things were back in the Before times#and me realizing that i consider my friend's departure from the country the end of an era#like i use it as a bookmark - as a big event - that marks the turning of a chapter or the passage of time#i think everyone does this with big life events but i never really let myself process how sad i was when they left because ive mostly#just been happy for them since it's opened up so many incredible life experiences and such for them!#anyways its never too late to process events LMAO#but all in all it was a super fun time and being high for an entire weekend gave me a chance to relax and unpack some mental shit
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