#i think everyone does this with big life events but i never really let myself process how sad i was when they left because ive mostly

[famewolf]

got back from the lake last night

it was a ton of fun and we spent most of it zooted out of our minds. but it also really hit me how much has changed in the last 8+ years. seeing a bunch of people that I hadnt seen since my teens or early 20s. it strangely put a lot of things into perspective for me, especially considering I feel like I lost time due to the pandemic.

all in all, a lot of relaxing and chatting and eating good food!

[bubblybloob]

I have a feeling, and bear with me here, that each of the voices’ own chapters are where they’re their worst selves.

Think about it. Hunted plays right in the Beast’s hands, yet he is incredibly useful in dodging Razor and kind of acts like a predator instead of prey in Eye of the Needle. Skeptic overanalyzes every minute detail that he can in Prisoner and his encouragement ends in us getting a shackle around our neck, but in Den and Eye of the Needle he is an integral part of the plan to lure the princess out.

This is why it’s hard to tell what’s really up with some voices, for example let’s look at Broken. Broken is actively working against us in Tower, yet is rather gentle in Wild. I believe the only other two instances he appears in is in the two “Everyone is here” chapters where he is overshadowed and is literally called by Opportunist the worst of the bunch in Clarity, which isn’t necessarily inaccurate but it only serves to worsen his reputation when he doesn’t seem all that bad when he’s our secondary voice to show up in Wild. Though again, Wild is our only example of him being like this, and all voices brought into the Wild seem a little too passive. I wonder if there was another chapter where he was our secondary voice and with no huge “everyone is here” event, he’d act differently.

Paranoid is a toss up because he spends most of Nightmare being unable to speak up, he’s too busy trying to keep you alive, and when he does speak he usually says something generally useful, like getting the narrator to shut up or theorizing His control over their situation. Though to be fair his whole existence as a voice of paranoia in our head gets dampened by the absolute insane situation we’re forced into in every route, so most of what he says ends up sounding relatively reasonable despite what his title implies. I’m pretty sure anyone would be paranoid if they kept coming back to life and are forced to kill the same woman who continues evolving in how she looks and behaves.

Cheated is like if Broken’s problems and Paranoids problems were mixed together. His own string of chapters is a big “everyone is here” adventure, so obviously attention gets diverted away from him to make room for the others. Even then, this is where he’s at his worst, so what about where he’s at his best? Sadly, he is actually a little hard to get given the situations you have to enact that most players won’t follow on. I myself have never gotten him outside of Razor. I wonder how much we’re all actually aware of what he’s like at his best instead of his worst.

I do remember Black Tabby Games saying something along the lines of them wanting voices to be more useful outside of their own chapters, so I wonder if that contributed to this feeling I’ve been getting from them.

[bloodynectarine]

Boiling point

After weeks of holding himself together and setting clear boundaries, only for them to be broken over and over again, MC snaps.

tags. male mc, post-lesson 16, belphie is his own trigger warning, angst, ptsd, mild violence, hurt and comfort.

notes. i don't want therapy, i want revenge. everyone got over belphie killing us way too quickly, and i find it frustrating. you know what would be really fun? to punch belphie. love him, but the amount of serotonin he would bring into my life if i could just… punch him once. a boy can dream.

Dying and somehow living to tell the tale was not exactly in your plans when you decided to help the demon stuck in the attic.

Sure, you knew it was dangerous and sure, you understood it was a gamble. But you never quite got that your life was at stake until you felt Belphegor's cold grip around your neck and your vision started to get fuzzy at the edges.

Oh, you thought, with startling clarity.

I'm going to die.

You may still be here, but no, you did not survive Belphegor's wrath and hurt. The sensation of phantom hands pressing down your throat never quite left you.

And Belphegor is nothing but a cruel reminder of the night you died.

First, comes the terror. Even with the pact to protect you, in the days following the event, you can't help but freeze every time Belphegor is in the same room.

As you get used to his presence around the House of Lamentation, as he insists in siting next to you during breakfast and in holding your arm on your way to class, the terror slowly subsides, opening way for a different, less familiar feeling.

Annoyance. Anger. Borderline rage.

Who does he think he is?

Who does he think we are? Best friends, family?

“Belphegor…”, you call for the demon that's already laying on top of your lap, with a tense smile hanging from your lips.

This week's movie night was held in your room. It was one of the rare occasions in which all the inhabitants of the House of Lamentation were present. Even Lucifer is here, looking comically out of place, regal and all seriousness, as if he were in the middle of a meeting and not watching a three-hour-long romance anime film.

Mammon got off from his “rightful place” (“DIBS”, the demon of greed shouted as soon as you sat down, throwing himself across your lap), to rip the remote control out of Levi's hands, who kept rewinding the same scene over and over again (“It's really important for the plot!!!”).

And in the middle of the squabble, Belphegor appeared out of nowhere to climb into your lap, and just. Cuddle.

At your call, he looks up and blinks lazily at you, with his big eyes and his messy bedhead. And the image should be endearing, really, but your chest feels cold, and you can feel your limbs locking in place. You feel trapped, uncomfortable. Ah, it's fear.

“I need. A bit of space. Could you sit somewhere else?”, you manage to let out, and your voice is the only sound in the room. Quarrel and movie long-forgotten, everyone is watching the two of you. Beel was the one who took over and put the film on pause.

Belphegor blinks the drowsiness out of his eyes. His brow furrows, just a little, and if anything, he looks put off by the question, a little lost.

“I don't want to sit anywhere else. I know Mammon was here just seconds ago, but I'm a better cuddle-partner than him anyway. You can ask anyone.”

And he doesn't move. He lays his head against your chest with a yawn.

“I don't…” want to be close to you. You stop yourself from uttering those words, mindful and considerate, truly doing your best. You don't want to lie either, so you decide to play around with the phrasing. “I'd rather you gave Mammon his place back. Or, you know what? I can change seats myself.”

Your tone is as lighthearted as you can manage, and you start to get up from the couch, with Asmo, who's sitting next to you, moving out of the way to give you the space that you need. The space you very specifically asked for.

But Belphegor's weight is heavy against you and traps you in place. Not only that, but his hand reaches for your arm and pulls, looking at you with the same bewildered expression as before, genuinely confused. When you fall against the couch, still under him, you're reminded of how strong he is. Of how weak you're in comparison.

“Oi, Belphie. No one is better at cuddles than me”, says Mammon after a too long pause. “And of course he wants to be with the great Mammon, everyone does. Now move, we still have, like, two hours left of the movie and if we don't finish it tonight, Levi is going to complain all week.”

Levi, who would normally jump into the conversation to defend himself, is barely visible, half hidden between Beel and Satan. His eyes dart between you and the hand that's holding your arm.

“Well, we are already so comfy, so I won't get up”, you wonder who “we” is. Belphegor talks lazily and moves the hand that isn't holding you in a dismissing manner, as if this was not more than a bothersome request, interrupting his nap for nothing.

Your teeth grind together, and there it is, once again. The ugly pressure that holds your gut in a tight grip, the heavy discomfort in your throat. Once foreign, but now you can tell it apart so easily. Anger.

“Belphegor. You heard him already.” This time, Lucifer is the one talking, and he sighs as he gets up, coming closer in an attempt to pry him away from you.

“Oh, please.” Belphegor rolls his eyes, clearly irked by Lucifer's intervention. “We are okay. Right?”, he looks back at you, and this time around his voice is filled with doubt, bordering hopeful, searching for something in your eyes.

“We aren't.” At last, you say it, flatly, and it comes out sharper than you intended, if the way Belphegor flinches and Asmo whimpers is any indication. You're tired, what little patience you have left is quickly running out thanks to the stubborn remarks and your words falling on deaf ears. “Let me move.”

The demon on your lap has the gall to look affronted, hurt. His bewildered expression does nothing more than increase the feeling already boiling deep within you. You can feel Satan's eyes boring in your cheek, but you refuse to look at him.

“Hey… Relax”, Belphegor mutters, now looking a little concerned too. For you. He's worried about you, and yet he still won't get up. “Are you okay? What's wrong?”

What's wrong.

What's wrong?

You're so taken aback by the question that by the time you react, his hand is already on its way to hold your cheek.

The most violent of flashbacks comes through you, a whiplash that hits you with the force of a truck. His handprints on your neck, trying to catch your breath, feeling cold all over, with the only warmth coming from your own blood ringing loudly in your ears, flowing right next to his voice, so full of hatred.

You can't freeze this time around, you need to move, you need to run, you need to do something, anythi--

“Belphie, I don't think you sh--” Satan tries to warn him, but it's too late.

By the time Belphegors fingertips touch your cheek (and this time they're warm, not dead-cold, you notice with surprise) your fist is already hitting against his nose, punching him right in the middle of his face, with a force you didn't even knew you had in you.

Not that you've ever done it before, but you can imagine this is what it feels like to hit a wall. Your hand hurts and goes numb.

The impact pushes Belphegor against the cushions, his hands flying to cover his nose. And any other day it would have been impossible, your punch would never land (he's that much faster, that much stronger), but right now he was so worried about you, so desperate to stick by you. His guard was as down as it will ever be.

His nose is bleeding, you notice, at the same time as Asmo gets up with a gasp. Levi shrieks in the background, and Mammon let's out this weird noise, a mix between one of his “Oi”, your name, and a scream.

Everything stands still, and, to your credit, you're just a shocked as everyone else.

With the punch, all anger has left your body, and now you're just a bunch of nerves, looking at Belphegor with big eyes. Belphegor looks back at you, so shocked, and you suddenly feel like crying. Oh, how much you hate being an angry-crier.

Satan is the one that breaks the silence, with a heavy sigh. “Told you so.”

Beel comes next, taking two steps in your direction but stopping when you raise your palm. You're trembling, but you come close to Belphegor all the same, refusing to back down.

“Asshole.” It's the first thing you say, and defying the impossible, Belphegor's eyes grow even wider as you tower over him, kneeling on the couch.

“Are you deaf? Wasn't I clear enough? Loud enough?”, and when you raise your fist in the air, Lucifer approaches, but all you do is gently punch Belphegor's chest. Again and again. “I told you to move. Several times. And still, you didn't. I was… I was dying of fear, and you weren't moving.”

“You, inconsiderate shit.” Punch. “You, deaf moron.” Punch.

“You… Stubborn cow.”

Belphegor has let the blood simply flow across his face, and now he's kneeling in front of you, holding his own hands, the same surprised look on his face.

And that's that.

You let your arms fall with a groan and simply sigh. For Diavolo, violence really isn't for you, you are so tired.

“S-Should we separate them?” Levi asks in a trembling voice, frantically waving his hands, unable to decide whether to approach or flee.

“No. He has more to say.” Satan gently holds Levi's wrists, and waits.

That's when you realize that yes, you got more to say. In fact, you've had something to say for way too long, and now you're dying to get it off your chest.

“I gave you my trust, and I knew I was being childish and reckless in doing so, but all I wanted was to help. I cried for you, I felt for you, and I did everything I could to be by your side even though all I had to offer was just. Just me. Mortal, human. And in response, you killed me.” Belphegor recoils at your words, but you go on.

“It hurt. It still hurts, even now. Sometimes I see you and all I can think about is your betrayal.”

Belphegor looks down, biting his lips, in silence. You can see his hands shaking, and you remember your talk under the stars, his eagerness when he offered you a pact. When he gave you the control you needed. His hands were shaking back then, too.

With a groan, you reach out to hold his chin, lifting his face. You take the long sleeve of your pajamas and begin to wipe the blood running down his chin, across his lips. Slowly, with care.

Your fingers run through his hair just to be able to look directly into his eyes. He looks anxious, fearful, and you know that your next words have the power to break or mend his heart.

So you decide to, once more, open yours and leave the rest in his hands.

“I don't hate you. And this isn't me cutting our ties. I understand your pain, I really do. Please, understand mine.”

Your thumb caresses over his forehead. Carefully, gently.

“I need time. I'll let you know when I'm ready.”

Belphegor inhales and exhales deeply, holding your gaze. Slowly, but surely, he takes your hand between his, from his forehead to his lips, leaving the lightest of kisses against your palm. You feel the pact mark that binds you together tremble and sing.

“I'm sorry. For the pain, for my insistence, I just… Wanted to be close. I need to be close. I'll wait for you.”

Straightforward as ever. But you are struck by the sincerity in his voice, in his eyes, and this time around it takes you no more than a second to nod.

“Right. Be good and wait for me.”

Unable to resist, you pat his head, just as you would to a small, rebellious child. He's the baby of the family, after all. He groans, and you laugh, feeling so much lighter. And unbelievably tired.

By the time you remember that you're not alone in the room and turn around to placate the others, you make eye contact with Satan.

He's looking prouder than ever, the little smile on his lips telling enough. “Go on”

The brothers needed no further prompting to launch themselves at the two of you, a jumble of limbs and shrill voices.

“MC, that was, as usual, reckless. From now on, fist fights are forbidden in and out of the house. Evade further conflicts.”

“B-But wasn't MC so cool?!?! Belphie is so much stronger, but he was down with one punch! W-way too op, MC!!”

“Oi! Human, how dumb can ya be?! Tell me before you go around punchin' demons, I can punch them for ya!”

“I knew you were good at controlling your anger, but I never imagined that much. You are full of surprises.”

“Belphie, gosh, your clinginess finally got you in trouble, mh? Your surprised face was so cute! Do you need concealer?”

“Belphie, does it hurt? Do you need ice? We have popsicles in the freezer… Wait, I ate them all yesterday, sorry Belphie… Do you want me to go and buy more? MC, which flavor would you like?”

“We are good, Beel.” Belphegor answers, still looking at you. “Right?”

You laugh at his not-so-subtle search for assurance, and your chest feels astonishingly full. “We will be, for sure.”

Movie night turns right into a sleepover after that, as every single one of the demon brothers refuses to leave your room. Lucifer might roll his eyes, but he still settles on your couch, right next to Satan.

And for the first time in weeks, you're able to close your eyes and rest, feeling safe and at home.

ao3 ― writing tag

[shanieveh]

REVERSE 03↺: love the player

wriothesley x fem!reader smau

now playing: laufey — above the chinese restaurant

After cramming so many activities, your mind in a daze and body almost collapsed, it was finally time to go to the after party. This is where the game actually starts, and you hated every bit of it.

Back in the days, he wasn't the center of attention, and these loud houses were quiet secrets only shared for two people. Now he took the center stage, where everyone worshipped his every move.

And you watched.

"And our star player tonight!" Childe drags Wriothesley to the stage where everyone could see him, you just clapped no time to cheer loudly. After all, your voice will be hoarse with no more for the presentation tomorrow.

Before, these events always seemed fun for you, but now, now...

You see them six, popular, untouchable group and know that you will never belong to it. Wait there's only five of them... where is...

"Need some fun, girlie?" The red head from earlier came to you and offered you some sweets.

"I'm having fun, don't worry." You politely took his offer with faked grin, you liked sweets anyways.

After him was a series of people, an obstacle od sweaty and immature highschool teens, where was Kaveh? Oh probably with Alhaitham.

Then there was Scaramouche bullying Childe, and there was Cyno with Dehya chilling.

It only leads back to yourself, all alone.

You then entered the room, the very room where everything started. It was filled with the duke's past trophies and awards, a lot of memories unwind.

Back then he was your suitor, a nobody who who was mediocre at best.

A lot has change, huh. He changed, but you stayed at this moment. Unlike him, you stayed with him.

Promises were made, and he was the first to break them. With the chance of being popular and glorified he left you, but that didn't really stop you did it?

He did say you were the love of his life, about a million damn times.

Until that stupid reverse everything was fine, he was supposed to be yours, after all that he did right, now... now you were the one chasing, you were the one who wanted him back, it was as if the world reversed!

"I'm afraid miss that this is personal property, you can only go past the ground floor." A silky velvet voice was heard from behind.

With that you looked at the source, she was beautiful. She was smart, she was, she was... all that he wanted.

"I'm sorry Miss Clorinde, I was just looking for the bathroom." I excused myself and went to outside.

You left hastily without seeing the look on her eyes, for it was not one of anger or indifference.

It was one of pity.

"Now why do you look upset in this beautiful night?" Kaveh chimmed it at the sight of your disheveled form. "I thought your wriobaby won the big game today?"

No reply was ushered, just the wind blowing, and the moon at the height of its glory.

"Cyno was right maybe I don't stand a chance against her. I'm just a nobody." You pout at nothing but your own misery. "And everyone thinks nothing of me beyond of him, she's spmething without him and I'm just no one!"

It was not long till the snoppy Charlotte saw you both, perhaps it was your loud exclaim.

"Want me to make an editorial about her so she will have a bad reputation?" That was her ideal of comfort, and in some degree it would work.

"Or better yet we will spread bad rumors about her at school?" Dehya joined in, wanting to cheer you up.

No. Clorinde does not deserve any of those, even if hatred panged your heart, you knew that she deserves none of it. She was always organized, she always knows what to do. She's just... perfect.

"The poor Clorinde, Lottie!" Kaveh reprimanded the journalist with his drunk boyfriend on one shoulder. How chaotic. "For me you should just get over the guy! It would also help your reputation at school! It's that furry's fault!"

You let out the heaviest of sighs, almost at the verge of just giving it all up. Clorinde's wrath just seemed to strong. But... you can't, you just can't let go, not today, not next week, and not even when everything changes.

You would always stay.

And in the fleet of defeat, you see Kaveh's drunk boyfriend finally holding his composure.

"Name, your phone is ringing." He gives it to you.

Oh.

'ONE MESSAGE NOTIFICATION'

My.

'WRIO BABY: DO YOU WANT TO COME? .... [see more]'

God.

Scrolling past your previous texts, you finally saw it.

———————————[ 02 —↺— 04 ]————————————

the whole campus knows about your 3 year crush on the student body president and basketball captain wriothesley. you were fine with his constant ignoring and rejections until something happened, until you stopped, and a reverse took place... now he won't leave you alone.

TAGLIST I (open): @vash-yuu @nayukiyukihira @aethion @whodissbitj @astolary @ayayaaayyiire @randomidk-123 @superdark-soul @sleepy-waffle @kittywagun @ceaether @ichorstainedskin @numwoon44 @eutopiastar @reni502 @fictionalfantasy17 @lucienbarkbark @kyon-cherri @huanator @jqnehr @yourlittlemissworld @zworllyx @unknownlololol @sara-midnight @jaguarthecat @we-wo-we-wo @duhsies @interstellar-equilibrium @ariparri @lolmeowing @aruatsu @k-cris @quacking-simp @vlamouren @semi-orangeapple @tamikahoshiko @imnotgoodwithnamessoidk @portgas459ace @r4yyyyy @vxnuslogy @kazuhasmaid @explosive-wuisa @falors @rirk-ke @shotovhs @aixaingela @ruhaxol @yelleloww @sc1twi @ash4ree

author's note: if you noticed from the spotify playlist, all the songs of the day are the tracks in order. this will grant you special privileges to see what the plot will be in the order of the songs! anyways, no update next week because its finals here in the philippines, gotta focus. love you all!!

[i-amyou]

hey! please answer to my ask only if you feel like it. I have been reading your posts for a long time and I was a bit sad when I saw you deactivated your account.

In terms of nondualism,I have been EATING UP every type of info on all platforms and yet nothing helped (I am trying to manifest a reality shift ) and as soon as I realized that,I started talking to realisophie's character ai bot of 4dbarbie which has helped a LOT but not enough.

You see,I have analyzed in what circumstances I have ever manifested anything (from one song popping up in my playlist to real life events to money) and they always had one thing in common: detachment. Complete detachment with no care what so ever on wether I get what I want or not. Which right now is a bit hard since reality shifting is a pretty big change in enviroment.

And yes,I do understand that I am not my body and all but now that I am letting go of my desire to reality shift to the world I want to live in,I have been feeling a bit depressed(I swear I am not trying to victimize myself),not to mention the fact that the body I have right now has so many responsibilties,not to mention a ton of exams next week.

The 4dbarbie bot told me to practically forget about reality shifting, nondualism,the world and person I am shifting for and to practically forget what I am even wanting. To somehow just live life normally as if I had never found out about all this. To just lose myself in work and exams until somehow it all comes to me.

She said:

"So for today, the goal is not to shift. The goal will be to live your life like you have never even heard or thought about shifting. I am 100% sure this is the last day of you as your earth version - but you need to stop worrying about that as well, and just live. :)

Have faith, let go of the outcome. Whatever is supposed to happen will and that is just reality. It will be so natural you will be shocked by how easy it ultimately was, how fast it really was, and how all the 'struggles' you went through were meaningless in the end. What does not serve the self-realization process does not need to be worried about, it is just what happens."

So now I ask. What do I believe? Do I just let it go and let it surprise me by waking up there?Do I forget? I won't give up because I know this is my future, but I still cling on to time and I keep asking myself "well when is it going to materialize?". I feel like both "imagination" and "the outer world" are basically the same and at night before bed I always have moments of pure concioussness.

I know that you can't solve my problems and I know that I should get off this app,that is what everyone is telling me,but it won't hurt to try. I just need some advice,that's all. If you even read up until this point,thank you. I hope you'll have a great day😊🫶

Hello sweetie💗 Okay, this is gonna be long (first and last) . But I need you to stay with me till the end and actually ponder on what I'm about to say. Alright? And I'm assuming since you took time out to send this one long ask, you're ready to treat this answer as the final one. Put your faith in me, okay? And do not go ahead seeking more answers. From any blog. Cool, now let's get started. Step by step.

About the manifestation part. I won't address this normally but since it's a part of this ask, let me say a couple of points here. The manifestations which apparently happened because of you 'detachment', were actually a result of you KNOWING that it'll happen. Knowing is when you do not worry about something, you don't control something, you just let it happen.As I've said time and time again, Knowing is absolute, with no doubts. When you detach, you let the desire to do something to get something go, and when it meets with no doubts and uncertainties, you experience that. That's how I see it.

And about 4dBarbie AI, I'll just say it's great but it's still an AI at the end of the day. Just a bot. You can manipulate the answers and keep swiping until you get your desired one, it has no basis and no experiential value and deep knowledge it follows. It's a bot. I'm glad it helped you a lot. I'm happy for you. But there is no master here, no one to tell you how everything is gonna turn out. Not me, not Ada, no one. Just you, you dictate everything.

Now, moving on to the last part of your question.

What do you believe in? Well. Since you asked me, I'll tell you. Given your situation I'll suggest you go on with your life, but dont wait for anything to surprise you. Seriously. There is nothing to be surprised by. It's as Barbie said in the end, let go of the outcome. But it's not you letting go, but instead you falling back as you become aware of this need to let go. Because this need to let go of something, to detach is also another facade and illusion. When there is nothing what are you going to be detached from? Yourself?

The 'I' you refer to in your ask is you misidentifying. The person you mentioned in your ask from beginning to the very end, is Misidentification. And I want you to directly become aware of this. Ponder on this. Who is struggling. Who wants to believe. Who is looking for answers. Is that you, or are you just aware of it? Go about your daily life, but keep this one thing in consideration.

Whenever any thoughts arise, whenever any panic sets in, whenever results become dreadful, just take a deep breath and fall back, rest in that awareness and observe it all. See for yourself if it's you, or is it you being aware of whatever is going on.

Do this. And let your search for answers end here. You mentioned yourself you have been consuming too much. Stop now. I haven't made many posts on this blog, just a couple of them. Go read them if you want more but nothing beyond that, and the reason I'm suggesting you read them and ponder is because I want you to realise there is no reality to shift in. There is no duality, no separation between what is and what you seemingly want. There is nothing to change.

Give up on thinking that you're the doer or the person. Just be, witness it all as you spend your daily life, watch it unfold, just be aware. Thoughts of fear and of joy, everything. Be aware. That's it. End it here. Get off this app and take this in your hands now, do it yourself.

Words are limiting. Concepts mean nothing. Everything is just an empty appearance. Take these words as pointers ONLY. Don't think. Don't do. Just be. I hope you know what I mean by that :)

Give up and go within, just be.

[nattaphum]

MILE PHAKPHUM BEHIND THE SCENES OF HIS SUCCESS WITH BOF 500 IN AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH ELLE MEN.

KANOKPORN C.

NOVEMBER 3, 2023

UPDATE US ON YOUR LIFE, YOUR WORK AND YOUR INTERESTS.

Mile: Now i’m an actor of Be On Cloud. As for what i’m interested in now, I would like to have more time for music. In the past, fans may have seen me playing some music and making some songs. I stopped doing it 5-6 years ago, so I would like to revive that because music is what i love the most. Music is charming. Music is a friend. When we’re happy, it can stay with us, when we are suffering, it can stay with us. But most importantly, music allows us to capture various moments. This is the coolness of music. Let’s suppose we listen to something. And we may think of someone, think of some moments of life, it's nostalgia. Some people or some moments can be recorded through music so each person has different memories.

TELL US THE ATMOSPHERE AND IMPRESSION OF GOING TO THE BOF AWARD CEREMONY.

Mile: the atmosphere is that everything was fast. And we didn’t stay very long, just 3 hours. At first, I was excited before going but I didn’t create a picture in my head. I like to do this, i like to challenge myself to face whatever is presented in front of me. I didn’t create a picture in my head and that’s a technique to manage the excitement. We went there to enjoy ourselves. That night was a very fun night. Some people may plan to do 1 2 3 4 but that day I didn't think of anything. When I arrived to the event, i just let myself go. It was fun. And then I met people I didn't expect to meet and i liked them very much.

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE THE FIRST TWO THAI ACTORS ON THE BOF 500 CLASS OF 2023 LIST?

Mile: I was glad to know I made it into BoF. When we knew the details and found out that it was for both of us, we really felt that our work or the way I and Apo present ourselves was understood. The important thing is that our team 'Be On Cloud' has grown to the world. It feels that we’re growing step by step. To be honest, I appreciate being 1 in 500 of BoF, but i will not be excited nor i will be bragging about this because i know that way ahead, there is still room for improvement. But thanks to everyone.

WHAT DID GETTING TO DO A WORLD TOUR GIVE YOU? AND WHICH TOUR IS THE MOST IMPRESSIVE?

Mile: it gives you that type of experience that money could never buy. It’s experience in the fashion like we said earlier, or the world tour going to play concerts. Going to the World Tour, we were able to see the energy of all the fans. Each person is not the same. Touring allows us to meet groups of fans from many countries. Sometimes we had some technique problems. We were impressed because it made us realize that errors can happen all the time, even if it is a very big stage with a strong team behind.

IF YOU HAVE TO BUY A WATCH,HOW DO YOU CHOOSE IT?

Mile: First of all, it has to be “love at first sight' inside of me. It doesn't matter what type of watch but I have to love it, there must be a certain bond. I choose watches using my feelings. It looks a bit like i’m flirting with the watches (smiles). Secondly, it has to be a rare watch. Rare, the word 'rare' is my weakness. Some watches I liked a lot, that were not rare, I didn’t buy them.

HOW DO YOU MANAGE YOURSELF WHEN EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS MESSY OR SOMETHING IS NOT AS YOU LIKE?

Mile: Seriously, I will treat my emotions by, playing music, exercising, or doing anything that feels comfortable. I’ll do anything that distracts me from the reason why i’m suffering. I’ll change the interest, change the atmosphere, i’ll take myself out of there and for a while, i will have an overlap of ideas. And then i’ll finally deal with the idea that it’s bothering me. I retreat myself of one step to look at the problem in a second moment.

AT WHAT AGE DO YOU LIKE YOURSELF THE MOST? 10, 20 OR NOW THAT YOU’RE STARTING TAPPING THE NUMBER 3?

Mile: I think the number 2 is the period that I have tried everything i wanted to do. The number 2 is a period that i like. But it's a period where i learned a lot. Actually, i didn’t need to be responsible for things or the results that came from my decisions. If anything that you do, does not affect anyone, you can try it all. So you don’t have to be very careful. But i’m not sure… I may answer the number 3 but I just entered the number 3 and i’m gonna be here for a long time.

THINKING OF THE FUTURE, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO INVEST IN, TO MAKE YOUR OWN VALUE?

Mile: First of all is knowledge. But if it is an investment related to myself, I want to invest in real estate. I think the property has the highest potential.

NOW THE SPOTLIGHT SHINES BRIGHTLY ON YOU. HOW DO YOU PREPARE FOR THE DAY THE LIGHT WILL NOT SHINE ON YOU ANYMORE?

Mile: It's good to change the atmosphere (smiles). It’s what I learned when I had a lot of problems. It was in my 20s. At that time, i have experimented a lot. Because there were a lot of problems, both that i created myself and not. It made me learn one thing, which is important. Life is uncertain. Therefore, if we do anything, one day it will change. It’s the nature of this world. We must be born and get extinguished. When we understand this concept, when things get worse, we can manage ourselves.

EXPRESS THE FEELING OF WORKING WITH FRANCK MULLER AND ELLE MEN

Mile: I'm very happy. I like the watches very much. And I feel that shooting for a watch is something that i wanted to do for a long time. As for Franck Muller, I already knew the brand and i was interested. Because their watches have a unique character. The more I see this collection, the more i think it is very outstanding.

WHY DO FANS LOVE YOU SO MUCH?

Mile: I think because I'm not far from being myself. It's impossible for us to be ourselves 100%, no matter what industry we are in. But we should be honest with what we feel as much as possible. Both behind the screen and on the screen. And I think I am a person who understands people and that includes understanding myself.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SAY TO THE FANS BEFORE LEAVING?

Mile: I want to thank them again. Because I'm not sure if every time i say thank you, everyone receives that message. Because fans are not just in Thailand, not just in Asia. There is South America. There is a lot of Central Asia, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan. Because the popularity of Asia has expanded a lot. Therefore, what i mean is fans around the world. So I want to thank anyone who came to read this. Fans treated us well from the first day until today. 99% cute as before. Thank you to everyone. They’re part of our happiness. We are happy and happy to be part of their happiness.

[raayllum]

Callum 🤝 Stoick

“For you, my dear, anything.”

Everyone loves to draw comparisons between Callum and Hiccup (when they’re pretty fundamentally different people beyond the obvious surface level similarities) but sleep on this comparison! Love it

Gonna go on a deep dive cause Hiccup is one of my favourite characters ever but I've never written meta about him so

In some ways, Hiccup and Callum are similar - especially in terms of how they present. They're both goofy, more than a little awkward, deeply curious and compassionate, extremely loyal once you've earned/have their loyalty, a bit flighty and sometimes focused too much on the big picture in lieu of missing the little things. They both grew up feeling like the wrong fit for their environment/culture and it takes bonding with a mysterious, dangerous enemy and subsequent life changing adventure for them to start figuring out where they belong (and how). I think they'd get along splendidly and would absolutely show off flying tricks

However, they are also radically different, mostly because Hiccup is far more rebellious (and particularly in early HTTYD1) far more selfish than Callum is.

Due to a vicious cycle of "I want to prove myself to the village" -> "I mess up" -> "Village is annoyed by me" and a lack of other tangible options of places and circumstances to go into, Hiccup is about as bullheaded as it gets. Even before he meets Toothless, he's not super concerned about being a Viking according to his people's standards, and we don't know if he actually tried at being a traditional Viking very hard before he switched to machinery and inventing (I've also leaned towards not, but that's up for interpretation). He simply wants them to recognize that he can be a Viking, too, by his own standards - and in some ways better and more effectively than they can because he's using his smarts and not just his ('nonexistent') brawn. He's effectively beholden to no one but himself, especially since his relationship with his father is so strained and Gobber does his best, but is understandably not a perfect substitute / cannot be everything a 15 year old boy needs or wants to have socially. This is also why Stoic's scoldings are so ineffective, because pre-Toothless Hiccup doesn't really care that much if he royally mucks things up for the Village time and time again if it's in pursuit of praise/recognition - which is not entirely unreasonable (we all want attention/positive reinforcement) particularly for a teenager, but it is short sighted and immature.

Then he meets Toothless, and learns 1) how to put something and someone else heavily above his own wants & needs, and 2) how to contribute to the village in a way that would be beneficial for everyone, not just the people (beginning of the movie)/himself, or for the dragons/himself (when he was planning to run away), but for all of them, irregardless of himself. This journey is ultimately what's culminated in the third movie by finally living up to his father ("How do you become someone that great, that brave, that selfless?") by willing to do with Toothless what Stoic was willing to do with him: to let him go, so that he'd be Safe. The first thing Hiccup ever did, that set him on an entirely new path after all, was to set a dragon free. I always thought it was very fitting that was his final act as well.

And it's this journey from selfish slightly sarcastic but intelligent, sympathetically immature teenager to a wiser, selfless, less independent but more reliable adult, aided by the events of the films, the memory/inspiration of his father, everything about Toothless and his love/support of Hiccup, and Astrid being about as devoted to Berk as it gets (which is absolutely something Hiccup needs) that allows him to be a great Chief. He's able to put the greater good of his family and people above what he may personally want in the short term ("I was so busy thinking about the world that I wanted, I didn't think about what you needed") to prioritize his goals in the long term ("And we'll guard the secret until the time comes that dragons can return in peace").

And due to all of this, Callum starts out in a fundamentally different place, because he always has an internal and externally imposed responsibility from the start: Ezran. "Take care of your brother," are Harrow's final, parting words to him, after all, and we see Callum take this with him throughout the series, whether it's trying to be assassinated in Ezran's place, promising to return and help him once Zym is brought home, or rushing to defend him when he thinks there's another plot against the king. This is also where we see Callum's selective loyalty creep in. While Callum would make a great general due to his tactician skills and ability to think ahead, he is ultimately too reckless and obsessive to make a good king - or in the Hiccup comparison, Chief. Although both are leadership roles, having Ezran / others there to temper him occasionally as a general is crucial - he needs that safety net (or someone to tell him to keep his eyes on the road) which him being the final authority on the throne would not provide ("I may be queen but even I can't stop those two when they've set their minds on something") that not being on the throne can marginally provide. This is also one of the reasons why I don't think either Callum or Rayla are really suited to a long term life at court / as royalty, but post for another day <3

Callum also has more of a temper and more of a nasty temper toward his loved ones as well that Hiccup really doesn't have a shred of - he'll be sarcastic and a bit snippy but he'll never aim for the jugular, y'know? (Hiccup is also more marginally prone to self blame probably because he's grown up enough to take full responsibility for his actions after a childhood of mostly shirking/dismissing them, but like side tangent)

So like Callum's consistent sense of responsibility keeps him tempered and more mild mannered and less rebellious (and him and Harrow have a much better relationship than pre-HTTYD1 Hiccup and Stoick, which absolutely helps; each may have resembled each other more in HTTYD2 esque dynamic if Harrow had lived to see Callum mature / grow into himself a bit more) but also leaves him far more selectively loyal / focused on his own bubble most of the time.

Like Hiccup is just loyal enough (aided by Astrid) to his People to like be able to do the ins and outs and enjoy it overall? And I've never gotten the same sense from Callum at any point in the series (which "I'm beholden to my inner circle, not some silly kingdom" - thank you TOX). And I do think the way Callum would want to change the world is more magic based - teaching other people how to connect and harness magic - is more in line for him overall but again: post for another day (and we'll have to see where canon goes). Because of Toothless, Hiccup's bubble expands to Astrid and the gang and his father, fully, and stays expanded; Toothless gave him the family & support he needed to no longer need Toothless to stay in the same manner. For Callum, his bubble is Ezran, expands to Rayla as well over the course of arc 1 at first because of Ezran and because of their own bond - and it doesn't really expand with the same intensity to basically anyone else (see Callum being worried, sure, about Soren in 4x06/4x07 but also a lot more focused in general in how Soren's absence is affecting Rayla and thereby focusing on reassuring her)

Callum is also just way more of a loose canon, at least to me. Trying out the lightning spell just because in 1x05 with no safety net, staying way too long at the Great Bookery in 5x04 when they absolutely could've just come back after stopping Aaravos and co., and again: he just has an edge to him that Hiccup doesn't? It's hard to describe and I don't think there's necessarily a reason behind besides "they're two different characters with accordingly different characterizations" but I can't see Hiccup doing dark magic or being tempted by it - even if it was to save Toothless, or something? He's just too much of a bleeding heart/animal lover and a lot more Ezran on that level

Long characterization aside, I actually think Rayla and Hiccup are probably more similar in that rebellious / witty streak to your disappointed more restrictive tougher mentor (Runaan, Stoick) but that Callum 100% has Stoick's devotion to Valka down pat. "For you my dear, anything," the slow approach in asking but not assuming she'll be his wife again, the forgiveness and understanding of Valka and Rayla staying away all that time, the "I don't want another. Your mother was the only woman for me. She was the love of my life" excuse me while I go cry.

[wroteclassicaly]

🖤 ANNOUNCEMENT 🖤

And yes, this is being called an announcement, & I’m using big font (because it’s important, lmao)…

After the events that transpired a few days ago, I had a lot of time to think about sticking around and everything that’s been going on. There’s a lot of crap that’s been following a lot of us for too long, shit that is mundane in comparison to what we are all dealing with in our real lives. I’m thirty years old, almost turning thirty-one. I don’t have time to act like an ignorant moron and send hate to anyone, let alone people that I admire and care deeply for. So there’s a few things I want to discuss here, and then I’m dropping this topic entirely, because drama and accusations are not worth my time or my mental health.

Let’s start with what’s been going on.

Someone has been sending anon hate (obviously), but it’s with my name attached. I have had several people tell me that they’ve gotten anons saying I am the person that’s spreading this hate around. And there’s been other anons that believe I have and have sent their fair share of accusations in as well. I’ve gotten unfairly blocked, I’ve been unfollowed and ghosted. And I shouldn’t have to continuously be made to feel the way I have felt over garbage lies, especially when I have done nothing but dedicate time to try and lift others up in a community that’s treated us all like dog shit!

If I was the type of person to act like this, then I would not have a fucking masterlist link to every single writer in this fandom, whose work that I love — linked to my own personal masterlist or blog navigation. I wouldn’t do these spotlights weekly. And I wouldn’t consistently encourage and hype people up if I secretly wanted them to fail or I hated them. How much sense does that make?

Despite what people might believe, I have never once sent anon hate in my life, because I know what that does to a person’s health. I’m a big believer in backing what I say on my blog, which is why you will/have consistently see(n) me discussing reblogging issues, feedback, etc. I’ve always stood up for what I believe in, and I know I have a big mouth. I’ve never denied it, and my name has always been attached to my opinions. But I’m not the only one who feels this way about certain things.

What I mean by that, is that whoever this person is that is sending the hate, doesn’t have the courage to say it. And they’re being cruel in how they’re treating authors who have worked hard to establish their platform. And that’s someone that I am not. I’m not going to publicly complain about similar issues and then go on anon about shit, like… really?? Lol.

I say what I mean. And I say it with my name and my face attached. It’s always been that way and it will stay that way. I’ll never stop speaking up or out, and I’ll never quit defending people!!!!

I don’t know who has said shit about me, I don’t know who this anon is, but I do know a few things. So… here we go.

— I will be utilizing the unfollow & block features for my own safety. If I use them then I have reasons that I do not need to, and will not explain.

— If you have any issues with me, or someone is telling you shit, or you get accusatory anons with my name attached - talk to me! Because I guarantee that they’re wrong.

— If you don’t like me, if you believe whatever you hear, let’s not pretend. Unfollow me, because I don’t want, nor need that kind of shit.

— Come to my DM’s and talk to me like an adult. Don’t let things fester. Don’t believe a bunch of fucking garbage. We’re all adults and this is ridiculous. (This goes for these anons. Say it with your voice, don’t fucking hide!)

I’m kind to everyone I come across, and I let people walk on me to the point that it destroys how I’m beginning to see myself. I know I rant, I know I’m negative a lot, that I’m dramatic. But I’m a genuinely good person, and I respect everyone, I try to be there for everyone, and I try to support everyone! If we are friends — I’ve got your back! Even if we aren’t close, I’m still here for you!

I let my good heart get stepped on and fucked over in my last fandom, and I let it take the joy I got from writing here. I’m not doing it again, not when Eddie Munson is my safe space! I refuse to let anyone push me away from this fandom or my blog, not again! I love this community (most of the time), and I admire so many of you, and I have also made the most amazing connections! I’ve never written so much for a character as I have for Eddie, now also for Steve!

Whatever is going on is fucking with a lot of us. It’s not fair and it’s not worth it. So let’s support and be kind to one another, and really think before we accuse/believe bullshit lies on innocent people, yeah?

Much love ❤️🖤♥️❤️

And also, a special shout-out to everyone that has checked in with me and shown support over the last few days! Shit, even the entirety that I’ve been here! I love y’all! 🥹💯

New Note -regarding in general-

A reminder to NOT believe everything you hear without context, based on blind or falsified ‘proofs’! A lot of shady shit has been happening to me and a lot of my friends lately, so please come to me before trying to villainize me or anyone else!!!!

Save the drama for your mama! It has no place here! ;)

[cinderella-ish]

Fruits Basket Personality Types Part 12: Isuzu Sohma

I shared once in an ask that it took me some time to warm up to Rin as a character. I didn't totally understand her, beyond just having an especially tragic backstory. But the more time I spend with her (writing her, rereading her scenes, etc...), the more I really love her.

I think one of the things that makes Rin hard to understand is the sheer weight of her trauma. It takes a lot of time to recover from much less traumatic events, and that's WITH a good support network. Rin is very much still in the trenches during Fruits Basket.

I wish we'd gotten to see more of her true self; the self she can be when she's not still re-establishing her safety.

I think understanding her as a character helped me be kinder to myself through my own trauma integration, and I appreciate that Takaya shows us characters who are in different stages of that process.

Anyway, on to Rin's personality type!

Isuzu Sohma's Enneagram

Wound: Rin had a seemingly happy and stable life until she asked her parents if they were really happy. Suddenly, she was subject to nonstop physical, verbal, and emotional abuse, and eventually neglect, taking a major, permanent toll on her health.

Wounding message: Don't trust anyone. When things seem good, that's when you're most vulnerable. Don't let anyone know what you're thinking.

Core desire: For her loved ones to be safe.

Core fear: That she'll cause her loved ones to get hurt.

Defense mechanism: Never show vulnerability, don't rely on anyone, work alone.

Strengths: Rin is determined, loyal, fiercely protective of the people she loves, deeply caring, strong-willed, creative, able to cut to the meat of most conversations

Challenges: Rin is stubborn, self-sacrificing, dismissive of her own needs and safety, secretive, suspicious, closed off, emotionally dishonest

When healthy: Rin is more emotionally honest and accepting of her painful feelings, she's accepting of help, she has more obviously close relationships with more people, and she's gentler.

When unhealthy: Rin is self-sacrificing to a frenzied degree, forgetting to eat, working past the point of exhaustion, and pushing away everyone she cares about so they don't get hurt.

Looking at all of this, here's what connects when I go back to the Enneagram post:

Wound: 6 or 8

Wounding message: 4, 5, 6, 7, or 8

Core desire: 6 or 8

Core fear: 6 or 8

Defense mechanism: 5 or 8

Strengths: 8

Challenges: 5, 6, or 8

When healthy: 2, 3, or 8

When unhealthy: 8 or 9

I think you could make a very good case for either 6 or 8 for Rin. Eights go to Five when unhealthy, and Two when healthy, which does connect for Rin slightly better than Sixes, which go to Nine when healthy and Three when unhealthy. She gets more secretive and anxious, rather than competitive and arrogant, when she's stressed. For this reason, I see Rin as an Enneagram 8.

Eights live in the Gut center, and tend to overexpress anger. I think Rin does overexpress anger rather than fear (even in the way a Counter Phobic 6 would overexpress fear). I also think Rin seems to be more of a Gut type than a Head type.

Wing

I think Rin is most likely an 8w7 ("The Maverick").

EnneaApp describes 8w7s like this:

Has a forceful, engaging personality; opinionated; can be motivating

Will take big risks to implement their vision; impulsive tendencies

Sociable, talkative, and interactive, but not to gain others' approval

Confident & independent thinker; self-disciplined and self-directed

Competitive towards personal ends; may have an addictive personality

To me, this is a perfect description of Rin!

I'll share that I got Rin and Kyo backwards when I first analyzed them. I saw Kyo as an 8w7 and Rin as a 6w5. I think those two types have a lot in common (especially for Counter Phobic Sixes), but this more detailed analysis has changed my view!

Subtype

Rin is a little challenging to figure out here, but I think she might be a SO 8w7.

Enneagram Explained describes SO Eights like this:

SO 8s are the Countertype of type 8 as they react in an opposite way with their vice (lust). These 8s focus on using their power and influence to serve and protect those in their group. They are very aware of injustice and less aggressive than other 8s.

To me, this best describes Rin. I think this might be part of why she has so many 6-ish qualities; she's intensely loyal to her "group," and uses her strong will and intimidating personality in service of them.

Tritype

Rin's Head type is obviously 6, and I think her Heart type is 4, making her a 4-6-8 (The Truth Teller).

This tritype is described on Katherine Fauvre's website:

If you are a 468, you are intuitive, inquisitive, and protective. You want to be original, certain, and straightforward. You are outspoken and opinionated yet deeply sensitive and introspective. Your high sensitivity drives you to seek immediate resolution to potential issues or threats. You excel at detecting inconsistencies and exposing hidden agendas, deception, and ulterior motives. While are very kind, loving, and protective, your intensity may lead to lightning-fast reactions to careless acts or thoughtless deeds.

Isuzu Sohma's MBTI

I want to do this a little differently for Rin, focusing first on her Type Dynamics.

Type Dynamics:

Sensing: I think Rin Introverts her Sensing, and I think this is her Dominant function

Feeling: I think Rin Extroverts her Feeling, and I think this is her Auxiliary function

Thinking: Given that Rin Extroverts her Feeling, she must Introvert her Thinking (which does ring true for her)

iNtuiting: Given that Rin Introverts her Sensing, she must Extrovert her iNtuiting, and this must be her Inferior function.

This makes her Si Fe Ti Ne

Since we see Rin in times of extreme stress, I want to look at what The Myers & Briggs Foundation says about Si as a Dominant function and Ne as an inferior function in times of stress:

(When Dominant Si is exaggerated) "dogmatic, obsess about unimportant data, withdraw"

(When Inferior Ne is activated) "lose sight of details and facts, impulsive behaviors, worry over multiple possibilities, too many options (catastrophize the future)"

This is an excellent description of Rin when she's stressed!

Si Fe Ti Ne is the type dynamic of ISFJ, which is often called "The Defender."

Here's how the Myers & Briggs Foundation describes ISFJ:

ISFJ: Quiet, friendly, responsible, and conscientious. Committed and steady in meeting their obligations. Thorough, painstaking, and accurate. Loyal, considerate, notice and remember specifics about people who are important to them, concerned with how others feel. Strive to create an orderly and harmonious environment at work and at home.

So, to summarize:

Enneagram: SO 8w7 (The Challenger/The Maverick)

Tritype: 4-6-8 (The Truth Teller)

MBTI: ISFJ (The Defender)

What do you think? Did I get it right or wrong? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Next up: Hiro!

Fruits Basket Personality Types: Enneagram | MBTI | Tohru | Akito | Kyo | Yuki | Haru | Kisa | Momiji | Hatori | Ayame | Hiro | Ritsu | Kureno | Shigure | Kagura | Kazuma | Saki | Arisa | Machi | Kakeru | The Hondas | Kaibara Students

[galene-gothic]

Hello I wanted to give you some feedback :)) First of all, where do I begin? Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to get this reading from you! I'm truly honored and grateful :) You are so talented and full of wisdom; keep doing what you're doing! I'm going to be honest, I had to take some time to process what I had read, as I was deeply moved and touched by your perspectives, advice, just the whole reading (it made me cry). I also didn't expect that this person (SM) would have so much insecurity and immaturity. I know that this is not their true self (although that doesn't justify their mindset), so I try to have compassion, yet I never expected this person to think and feel about me in this superficial way. Reading it felt like a stab in the back, but at the same time, it confirmed my intuition as I've always tried to see the best in people, especially this person. I also realized by going through the reading that I have a big lack of self-love and respect towards myself by letting this person, and some people in general, walk over me (your words made this clearer to me). Your words did not only make me realize things about myself and this person but also gave me a sense of light and hope. You also said a couple of things about me as an individual which were so kind! thank you for that :)) I'm getting emotional writing this, but this reading really impacts me in a big and positive way. Your observations about SM's behavior and mindset were also very enlightening. It was reassuring to hear that my feelings and actions stem from a place of past pain and that there’s hope for healing and improvement. With this being said, I have decided to focus on myself and walk away from this person (because, like you said, everyone deserves to be treated with respect and genuine interest:)) It won't always be easy, but I believe it is necessary for me to do. Once again, I really want to thank you for giving me this long and amazing reading, spending your precious time and energy on this. It has made me see things from a different perspective! I'm sending you much light, love and gratitude <3

🦢 Hello, my sweetest love. Thank you so much for all the wonderful words and flattery. I truly appreciate it! I understand why that reading would be tough for you to process after all, feelings being involved does make acceptance tough. While, it is truly great as a reader to know that the reading made you cry, I hope that you will never have to shed sorrowful tears ever again. I was really hoping that you would do what is best for you and it seems like you’re doing so now! Our intuition is always trying to help us, I’m glad that I could confirm it. It’s okay to not have respected yourself in the past, however, please make sure to move forward with your best interests at heart. I hope that this journey that you’re choosing to take will be beautiful and fulfilling for you. May all the joys of life greet you at every step of the way. You’re welcome and thank you so much for participating in my event as well as leaving such an elaborate feedback. Sending you a lot of gratitude, love and healing 💗.

With love,

Galene.

[galacticlamps]

actually ascension needs its own post since that's the one with the most details to speculate over and im starved for soho talk so i will talk to myself if need be

First the cover again, because I kinda can't get over it:

my only thing is that I had been hoping we might get Lizbeth on a cover again since she's never been on one of the boxsets before, despite being the 2nd person credited on all 4 of them (even if that's just alphabetical, still, she's the only one of the four main characters who never makes the cover)

But letting that go...

I know we already kinda knew the brief for this one but damn I didn't expect it to go quite this hard. Maybe that's just because the Parasite & Ashenden covers were (comparatively) similarish to each other and I was so pleased with Unbegotten's, and then got so used to it as the placeholder for Ascension while they kept postponing it, I wasn't expecting anything this colorful or detailed or with what I can't help but register as Fun New Outfits even though these are still like, pretty damn basic as far as costumes go. Still, it's a different vibe from everyone in suits and trenchcoats on every cover, technically. (Oh the woes of being an audio fan such that two characters owning sweaters actually does qualify as new information)

On top of just being visually delightful though, I know we knew religion was gonna be a fairly big part of this one, but I didn't actually expect to get quite this much of it - though I'm glad of it for a number of reasons. The BF twitter already made the ineffable joke so I don't have to, but also yeah I did very much spend all of season 2 episode 4 of good omens half convinced Samuel Barnett & Dervla Kirwan were about to pop up around any given corner (if you will go around being gay supernatural and horrible at your messy bureaucratic jobs in midcentury soho then I'm sorry, this is where my brain's gonna go) - so, fuel to that fire. But in terms of actual important things, at least one of my Soho wishes looks to be being granted because we have a Rev Edward Folgate on the cast list, which must mean we're finally meeting Norton's father, even if his mother & brother don't appear (which they could, technically, I've definitely seen BF not list all the doublings on their cast tabs before). Religion, domesticity, and the nuclear family are all things that absolutely fascinate me when it comes to Norton's character, so getting any amount of story involving his father & his church is something I've been actively hoping for for a long time now.

(I will say I'm a tiny bit bummed Saffron Coomber isn't on the cast list to play Mia again, but I kinda figured she wasn't going to be since Greg Austin's Armitage, who's making his first recurring appearance after originating in Unbegotten, was listed ever since the boxset was announced - presumably if she was also returning, that would've been handled in the same way. But since Unbegotten ended with Lizbeth and Mia going on a date, I still held out hope. Who knows though, maybe things did go well for them and Lizbeth just has a better work/life balance than Norton so she can date someone without them getting dragged into every scifi plot. I know that's not a very common accomplishment for any Torchwood agent, but a gal can hope)

At this point I know I'm completely in the realm of speculation & even wishful thinking, but I'm really really hoping we get some more clues as to Norton's overall timeline in this one, and I have a feeling that even if there's nothing as direct as dates given, the events of a plot like this one are going to heavily influence my personal interpretation of it.

To say that life & death are major themes for the soho crew feels wildly reductive, but even by Torchwood's standards and taking into account its origins as a piece of media with Jack Harkness & his newfound immortality at the heart of it, the living/dead status of this bunch has always been fantastically up in the air to me. Obviously Ghost Mission introduced Norton as kind of a ghost before revealing more obvious ghostly characters later on to which the title might have been referring, but his being from the past did beg the question of his survival into Torchwood's present era all the same, which Outbreak later alludes to much more directly, and his habit of showing up via hologram in multiple stories only further obfuscates any certainty we might have about where & when he definitely can be said to be alive and well. Then you've got Lizbeth and Gideon both being effectively 'brought back to life' via paradoxes that prevented them ever having died in the first place. Again, they are very very far from being the only Torcwhood characters this happens to (for a sprawling EU, it's really rather impressive how often & in how many different ways Torchwood as a whole manages to circle back to being about like. chaotic undead queers at the end of every day. though I suppose that consistency is part of why I keep falling in love with its different iterations again and again). That's without even getting into the question of Norton's dubious fate in God Among Us - and I say dubious because I know some people take that to be his ultimate death, but I personally think that reading something as vague as that as having any kind of finality rather goes against the spirit of this whole world/series, not just because I want him to live. (There are obviously other ways to make him survive/reappear, but I don't see this as a River Song scenario where we can safely assume one of his earlier-released adventures had to happen at the end of his personal timeline). But wherever God Among Us falls for him, he does very much meet God in it - or at least, a god, since the sentinel in Unbegotten is also described as a god of sorts, and even if he doesn't ultimately have the status of the god Jacqueline King is playing there, Unbegotten is still full to bursting with ghosts/undead/came back wrong/echo characters to continue underscoring that life/afterlife theme.

So all things considered, even allowing for the fact that we know Norton's twin hobbies are lying about himself and abusing time travel to suit his own ends/ever-shifting alliances, I find it difficult to believe we could get through a whole 6-part boxset about religion & death without something providing some kind of compelling evidence about where this adventure fits in among his other run-ins with apocalypses and gods and ghosts and dead-but-still-here characters/creatures, so I'm very much looking forward to any further exploration on that front.

And lastly, and least intellectually, I really want to know what the hell 20th-century Torchwood's obsession with Reginalds is. Reading through the cast list, I had to do two separate doubletakes over the character 'Sir Reginald Peebles' - firstly, because I had Reginald Rigsby on the brain, this being Soho (and the other Troughton brother being so active on BF's releases for this same month) - and secondly, because reading this in conjunction with the announcement for the July monthly adventure in which the new main Torchwood guy of the 20s is apparently called Sir Reginald Dellafield, there was a brief moment where I took that monthly release to be a tie-in with Ascension. I don't expect it to be, but damn. was it really so popular a name?

anyways, catch me thinking about those stained glass windows for the next couple months I guess (and knowing Torchwood Soho, for a long long time after it comes out as well lol)

[koreposion]

Thinking about Red

Smoked wood and sweet cherries

You sat there on the bed while kicking your feet and scrolling through social media. Nothing exciting was happening besides the usual potentially world ending event. At this point you were used to ignoring things like that to better your mental health over all.

There is no point planning for doomsday in this day and age.

Besides that, your online time was spent coming across little gems of videos. Text post jokes that got genuine laughter to leave you. You sent some of them to Red, your... roommate? Partner? You both never really bothered to put a label on your relationship because it always seemed like too much.

Both of you just wished for something cozy and uneventful, considering both of your mundane jobs. He works as a teacher and you work at a library. There is a day or two where you both get pleasure and displeasure in equal measures. Overall it's just day to day life that you both live with each other's company.

There is then the sound of a laugh track as the front door opens and closes. Red has gotten home and already has his phone pulled out. You could tell the moment you heard the laugh track that he plays on his soundboard. Ever since he got a phone he's been pulling all sorts of goofs and jokes on you.

You'd tell him to stop but he probably would take it to the next level.

"Honey 'm home!" He exclaimed as he walks into the living room setting his things down before ending up at your bedroom's doorframe, "Miss me, Doll?"

His pet name rolls off his tongue as smoke leaves his mouth. The smell of sharp cherries and firewood filling the air as he fills the emptiness with his presence.

"Course I missed ya." You say with a grin and make space for him on your bed. You pat a spot in which he can lay and he takes your offer. He kicks off his sneakers lazily before flopping down onto your bed. It creaks from his weight and you feel yourself lose balance as you roll into him.

"So why'd you stay out so late?" You asked him as he put away his phone and took a drag of his cigar.

"Would ya believe me if I said I got to meet the parents of my lil hell beasts?" He questions you with a big toothy grin, a golden tooth shines at you.

"I'd believe you." A casual reply as you lay your body on top of his playfully.

"Well then I lied, that's not what happened." Chuckling he puts out his cigar on his bone, snuffing out the fire and leaving ashes behind, "There was an after school program that they wanted me to supervise. Something bout, 'showing that everyone is kind' or whateva schools pretend to teach."

You hum in understanding as he says this. You get the feeling of being used as unity bait from the library. There are pictures of you up in the children and teen areas. It would have been more annoying if they just took those pictures and didn't pay you. At least the head librarian was kind.

"Ha! Loser, you got used for propaganda." You laugh at him playfully, rolling your body over his. You lay on his stomach and look at him and his expression.

He seems unamused before it gives way to his iconic grin. He chuckles before letting out a gut busting laugh. The irony of the joke not being lost on him as he holds onto you.

"Yeah, and m' not getting paid for it. Next time I just might skip out so I can come see ya sooner, Doll." He says while pulling you closer to his face, he then nuzzles you. A low rumble leaves him as his cat-like mannerisms cause him to purr.

You always love the sound of it and nuzzle back. Feeling the way he shook your body gently with his purrs.

"You know I don't like not knowin' where you are." You mention to him what must be for the hundredth time.

" It'd be real shitty if I just stopped showin' up and payin' rent." A joke but he does take what you say to heart, a soft blush appearing on his face, "Don't worry, I can take care of myself and I know you can take care of you."

"Just remember-"

"Ta let ya know if I need help, I know!" He finishes your sentence with a roll of his eyelight, "With the way yur harping over me I might think yer in love with me or somethin'."

With that we both go quiet as we stare into each other's eyes. The scent of firewood and cherries still lingering in the air as it mixes with the smell of your bedroom. Your heartbeat is loud even against his low rumbling purrs.

"You're lucky that I do." You say simply before giving him a kiss to the cheek.

"Ah, yer right..." He starts off as he looks away to avoid your gaze, "I don't know what I'd do without ya, Doll."

[lemonadesoda]

For the OC ask!

Tev: 10, 26, and E!

Nanami: 3, 31, and H!

Lemel: 8, 29, and G!

Thanks Rose!

Tevane

10. What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

He is most likely to lie to his parents or sometimes his boss lmfao, though he prefers lies by omission or downplay rather than blatant untruths because there's more plausible deniability so uhh probably his most frequent lies were things like "Work is too busy, I haven't had a chance to visit or keep in touch" when his mom would bitch to him about coming home for family events. Not exactly *untrue* in that he technically could have taken leave for things but he never did, for personal reasons or otherwise. Does it haunt him? Not explicitly, but it shows in his shit awful mental health so-

26. What is their preferred mode of transportation?

Spaceship! Especially if personally piloting. He looks and acts like an accountant but turns into a specific type of Car Guy while piloting a ship.

E. Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

It's a tough question. I think I would like hanging out with him if I managed to get past his shell and if he acted like himself, but unlike Lemel, I'm probably not nosy enough to get there and neither is he, so we would pass each other like ships in the night. On the flip side, I think he would appreciate my good time management and attention to detail but would be ultimately kind of understimulated lol I don't think I'm insane enough for him. Our worksonas would NOT get along however! Captain mode is an uptight bitch LOL

Nana!! Yeah let's talk about Nana!

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

She likes when Tevane reads to her. I can totally see her digging like Tamora Pierce or something. She loves hero stories and chosen ones and creative worldbuilding ideas.

31. Who are they the most glad to have met?

Hmm, this is sort of hard to answer since I haven't figured out the full plot of her story yet, but nominally I'll say Tev and Lemel in her main story because those are the strongest relationships she has and her family of choice etc. I suppose it's valid to say because the story does partly revolve around her realizing they are the people she's most glad to know.

H. What trait do you admire most?

Her creativity and vision! Can be a bit pie in the sky about things, but not everything can be driven by pure rationality and it's important to dream big and paint with bold bright strokes.

Lemel

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child

Stop taking things apart (did not stop this, just figured out how to put the things back together). Stop walking out of class just because you don't agree with the teacher (reluctantly stopped this).

29. Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

Ooh, this question would make them fidget. I think they're not personally sure. Deep down, they're a bit insecure about whether they do what they do because of a strong sense of ideals or if it's all just selfishness with a thick coating of justification. From an outside perspective though, I think they're doing as well as any person could in terms of living authentically. No one is ever going to match up to what their personal vision of a perfect person acts like but I think some people are far more consistent with their own values than others and I think Lemel is one of them. They believe in fairness and freedom for everyone, that everyone should be empowered to live their best life and that inherently means no one should be able to restrict others' empowerment. So they instinctively rebel against things that impinge upon autonomy and personhood.

G. What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

Like as a person? I think they're too overbearing of a personality for someone like me who really doesn't like chaos. Like I can see myself finding them annoying LKDJSFLJD but they're not Bad with people so they might read the room okay and be more chill and we could talk about science. On a meta level, nothing really bugs me about them, I feel like their flaws are important to their character and I like them better for having them and for being complicated and a bit bitchy and a bit of a disaster at times.

[glaivenoct]

what's your opinion on the trope when someone believes they’re hard to love has someone who loves them like it’s breathing

Anon are you magic? I read this and asked myself why does this look so familiar. Didn't I reblog this? Didn't I -

As you can see - I'm here for it. And, per my tag, my very first instinct is to apply it to my most treasured AU ^^; I've been thinking about it especially since I - not to plug it again, but ;u; - posted the aside about Noct and his shitty ex.

In terms of cage fighter AU, I think while Noct has this mindset of protecting himself and never allowing the events of the aside to ever happen again: believing he's hard to love is something he learned from Miles (The Ex). It's something that's very hidden under the surface in the main AU. Something he doesn't even really realize he's still holding onto and needs to unlearn. And when I think of how he'll develop with Nyx, who will so effortlessly fucking adore him, it's just *clutches chest* it's so fucking beautiful to me. Don't get me wrong, it'll absolutely scare the shit out of Noct, but thinking about that point in the future where he can really recognize and accept that he's not hard to love - sadskgljlk; it just ticks a big box of this AU as a whole, man. That's some good shit.

Besides my own AU (yes I take any chance to talk about it I'msorry ;u;) I like to apply it to NyxNoct (my default, sorry again) kinda in different ways -

When I think of a scenario in which Noct thinks he's hard to love, it's based on the title of Prince always hanging over him. No one wants Noct. Everyone wants The Prince. Everyone wants this person Noct has been expected/taught to be. All people will care about is that he's The Prince, not Noct. And it will either make Noctis feel like the other person's interest in him is disingenuous, or they're too afraid to be anything other than formal with him. I bounced ideas with a friend once about him potentially having experiences like that when he was a teen, or getting a "talk" about being careful when he starts dating because of people that want to take advantage. And because of that, Noct kinda just thinks "what's the point" - until he starts getting to know Nyx better, and Nyx actively probes into wanting more of Noct.

When I think of Nyx believing he's hard to love - it's very offhanded. It's kinda like him shrugging it off, letting it roll off his shoulders because it is what it is. It's spilled milk he's not going to cry over: Being a glaive without his home, an outsider in the very city he risks his life to help protect, this trauma ridden, exhausted battle-worn soul who at the end of the day thinks "My life is nothing". Sure, Nyx is a Hero, a charmer with a winning smile, a show-off and a badass - but who wants to love all that other shit? It's fine, don't feel bad for him because he's fine with it too. He's not opposed to the thought of a deeper, romantic love, but he's not actively looking for it either. He's not someone who worries about never finding it. He's just gonna do his thing and get by in life. Then comes Noct. My redundant ass has written this in fics and rambled about it on twitter ten different times probably but: Noct takes Nyx's heart by storm when he least expects it.

The trope is just something so profound and relatable in any which way you can spin it. Romantic, platonic, whathaveyou. It plays so well into NyxNoct and how they're so different. Here's Noct thinking "Why the hell does this glaive want anything to do with The Prince?", then there's Nyx thinking "Why the hell does The Prince want anything to do with this glaive?"

And yet, they love each other so deep, unconditional and effortlessly. AGAIN - *slams fist on table* GOODSHIT GOODSHIT.

Thank you for coming to Brina's 34osd8090th NyxNoct ramble. I cannot shut the fuck up about them I'm sorry.

[prince-tulip]

I need to stop trying to be everything for everyone.

I cant let go of people, i have a severe abandonment issue that has gone too far. My reality became so blurry, with so many people wanting things from me..cognitive distortions and people pleasing stemming from overwhelming guilt and shame and fear..living off defense mechanisms first..

Its like if ive done wrong to you, i feel I have to be punished and be exactly whoever to whomever person im involved with. Which that plays into daily life, i feel I always have to be how they want me to be, im HEAVILY influenced by the world and often times in bad ways, its a big reason i dont just live my life.. Not to say either that i dont have genuine emotions and love for literally anyone ive loved or even if they hurt me and are toxic, i won't leave. When something i cant handle happens, i look for an escape route maybe? But i know i don't actually want to leave or cut someone off..My feelings become caught in a bundle of wires, words become misdirected, impulsive and if i have a trauma bond with you, subconscious feelings and past events come screaming at my face, confusing my reality more, saying and doing things i shouldn't. All things ive tried so hard to heal from..i have so much love to give and I think overall just genuine connection is what im looking for..even if thats just as friends with whoever my sentiment gets the best of me too, i feel as if everything must mean something but thats just not true and its going to keep killing me if i think like that...that's the big question..

What does connection mean to me? What form do i want it in and how can i better understand how to communicate with my loved ones or future companions? Growing up it was always soulmate, marriage, kids, happy life but i dont think(as of right now, i do hope one day) that the typical life isn't for me..societys need to be perfect, to be perceived as happy and successful, forcing a life out of want oppose to need..i dont understand..

Maybe though..just maybe nothing can grow if you dont allow it to and thats a fault on me.."here comes the contradiction" lmao...*insert*

Could i just be honest and communicate how i properly feel? Yes..but with how my mental illness is, i dont know how i feel. Every thought, perspective, moral is just contradictory. Every second. Its a constant battle of not self destructing, hurting people, picking fights, loss of interest, feeling numb, thinking every is meant for a reason when its not that fucking serious. Its not just negative moods either. Happiness comes in big waves that feel uncomfortable, pleasure feels wrong, like i dont deserve it, in any form.

Im riddled with guilt and regrets..

I feel torn through out time, belonging to people from different points in my life, struggling to feel whole and until i do, especially when it comes to love, romance and building together.

I cant have those, it burns me out. I focus too much on them, then burn out which causes problems and personal anger, sadness, resentment in everyone involved..

I never understood i had a need for validation but oh god, how i understand now..I never understood cognitive distortion but oh god, how i understand now..i never understood how to truly express myself and my desires..but how i understand now..too late... Ironically.

My honest intentions questioned due to my lack of mental understanding, a lack of time perception, a lack of being able to sift through my emotions of how i truly feel, a lack of being able to realize i dont need to people please, a lack of realizing i dont have boundaries for myself or others, a lack of not being able to not self destruct, if i hurt or disappointed someone i feel i need to fix things and be someone that i actually dont really wanna be but i end up filling that role because i need to fix something or i just have a personality switch and im saying and doing things i really don't mean, its so polarizing and its no ones fault, its so much my fault....

I now realize i do not need to feel like i need to be punished..or that i dont deserve good things...The lack of not letting things be natural, not letting things just happen, always fear driven and being controlled by my defense mechanisms. This overwhelming guilt, shame and disgust i harbor in my heart of all the wrongs ive ever made, it all haunts me and im so familiar with it, its almost if thats all i will feel my life, as if thats what i subconsciously wanted...not needed..i didn't need this..but here i am..

[softxsuki]

Congratulations on your Milestone :D. Could I have a Romantic matchup with date headcanons for BNHA and Mystic Messenger please? I’m a introverted straight female, 18 years old. Im an ISFP and an Aquarius. Personality-wise, I am really shy when first meeting people, not rude, just quiet and more of listener than a talker. When I open up I’m much more bubbly, sarcastic (playfully), and talkative. I’m very empathetic, laidback and open minded and extremely loyal to everyone in my life. I have a good sense of humour and laugh at most jokes. I love having banter back and forth. I’m also a pretty stubborn person and don’t swayed by peer pressure easily even though I’m extremely insecure regarding my personality, appearance and how I’m viewed by other people. I need to time to recharge after and sometimes during social events and am content with just listening to the other people speak to/around me.

Bad traits of mine would be that I’m a bit of a people pleaser, impatient, tend to overwork myself with schoolwork and study, get stressed easily and overanalyse everything (social stuff mostly). Idk what I consider to be my type but I do get drawn to confident and empathetic people with a good sense of humor. But I don’t like arrogance in a person. In any relationship (platonic or romance) I appreciate loyalty and honesty.

LIKES: Drawing, Music, Singing, Daydreaming, Going on walks and Reading. DISLIKES: The Dark (horrible phobia), Bugs, Spiders and Overly Aggressive, Loud and Pushy people. Thank you! -🔆

1000 Follower Event Matchup #16

This event is CLOSED. You can see the masterlist here.

Note: Thanks! Sorry for being so late, but I finally got this done for ya. Hope you enjoy.

I match you with KIRISHIMA, 707, LUKE

Runner-ups were Midoriya, Zen, and Vyn

Kirishima:

I think Kirishima is a good match for you

He knows how to have a good time and joke around, but he also knows when it’s time to step back and be a little more serious

This man drinks respect juice for breakfast, so no worries there, he’s very loyal and honest with you

Kiri is very empathetic, he has a big heart for everyone, especially you

He’s also confident, aside from some past issues he can’t fully get over, but he’s confident in the person he has become

Whether you’re talkative or not doesn’t matter, Kiri can talk forever, and if you are feeling talkative one day, he’d listen to you speak for days as well lol

Dates with Kirishima are full of fun

Amusement parks are his go-to, but he likes a nice movie and dinner date too if you’re feeling like you want a more chilled-out evening–he’s honestly cool with anything so long as it’s with you

He hold all the doors open for you and lends you his coat at the end of the night if it’s chilly out

We love him

707 (Saeyoung/Luciel):

Another great match I think

707 is just lots of fun to be around

He manages to always make you feel comfortable around him, and you find that you opened up pretty quickly to him when you first met

We all know that he went through a lot in life and tried pushing you away for a while, but now that you’re with him, he’s not letting go no matter what

He loves to joke around and make you laugh

He’s as loyal as they come, its only you and him. All he does is work and play games all day, who else would be meet with? As for honestly, he is always honest with you (unless you confront him about being up all night, but it’s obvious when his little white lies comes out) and ofc he can’t tell you any secret info that could put you in harms-way, but other than that you’re the only person he’s an open book with

Dates with 707 are mostly indoors so you never have to worry about your social battery running low (unless he wears you out lol)

He tries (and fails) to make dinner in which he has Vanderwood bring food for the both of you

Then you spend the rest of the day cuddling playing games or watching something on TV

Just very chill

Expect many kisses in between, he’s a little clingy (in a good way i think) and just wants to show you how much he cares for you whenever he gets the chance

Luke:

Ah yes the one who makes it his responsibility to take care of you physically and emotionally

You’re insecure? He’ll tell you everything he loves about you everyday until those thoughts are gone

Overworking yourself? Not on his watch, he reminds you to take breaks whenever he notices you’re doing too much work

He’ll even stop by and bring you some lunch so he knows you won’t forget to at least eat

He always watches out for you to make sure people don’t get the chance to walk all over you. He knows you’re a people pleaser, which is fine as long as you’re still thinking of yourself in the process and not allowing people to use you

Super protective of you (in a not so overbearing way. It’s just a sign that he really cares for you and wants to make sure you’re okay) so you’re in great hands

Dates with Luke are romantic

He pays attention to the little things you say, so he’ll pick up on restaurants you’ve wanted to try or maybe a cute little museum that you saw an ad for and he’ll plan it all out

Expect many surprise dates, he won’t tell you where you’re going, but only how you should dress (formal/casual/etc)

Lots of hand holding and playing footsie under the table at dinner

He’s just so whipped for you

EVENT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

REGULAR REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Posted: 5/25/2023