#in text it comes easier bc if I type enough I’ll forget I said it

[rockmonopoly]

Always figuring out what to say in important conversations literally multiple hours after they’ve happened. Like sorry I didn’t contribute at the time. When you asked for help. Now I know what to say but it’s probably too late so I’ll just not say anything. It probably would’ve been awkward either way

[fbfh]

I think you've horribly misread the situation [shitty roommate pt 2] - leo x reader

wc: 2.3k

genre: contemporary drama, you're definitly going to get second hand embarrassment, cozy fluff

pairing: leo x reader, attempted isabella x leo

reader: gender neutral, they/them

requested: hell yeah

warnings: mild swearing, roommate tries to steal your man once again, mentions of various mainstream vampire media (twilight, the vampire diaries etc.), brief mention of castlevania (even though i haven't seen it yet lol), breif mention of videogames and assassins creed, very mild delusion (roommate is secretly convinced leo is a vampire that's in love with her), attempted age gap relationship (she's 17 and leo's 19, he shuts that down real fast), very bad poetry

summary: You and Leo are both looking foward to spending a long weekend together, and Leo is determined not to let anything interrupt it, even if it means turning down your roommate's attempts to seduce him in the kitchen.

a/n: absolutley no hate or shade or judgement to anyone who has the same or similar traits as isabella!!!!!! at her core she's annoying because she's the antagonist, not bc of any isolated trait or traits

also she's shitty cause she keeps trying to steal your boyfriend?????

Edit: I forgot to mention before, but this is a college au where you're both still demigods, so you went to camp and on quests and stuff together

This weekend is going to be all about recharging. Recharging from the ridiculous back to back closing and opening shifts at work, recharging from having to redo that stupid project twice because your professor couldn’t decide on a clear way to define the criteria, and recharging from Isabella having her townie friend Regan over almost non stop to “completely shake up her look” as she put it.

Between the constant presence of someone you’d barely consider an acquaintance and Big Time Rush’s self titled album blasting on repeat out of her giant airpod shaped speaker, it’s been harder than usual to get in some effective self care. You have no idea how many more times you can hear the phrase “I’m going for Jade West meets Elena Gilbert, with just a little Buffy Summers” before you lose your fucking mind.

Thankfully, the hard part is almost over. There’s some minor holiday tomorrow on friday, so you and Leo both have a three day weekend ahead of you, which you intend to spend entirely together. You planned ahead, frontloading homework, chores, errands, and everything you could think of to remove anything that isn’t cuddling or playing video games and watching netflix together from your horizon.

This includes going straight from work to the grocery store to stock the fridge and get any snacks you and Leo want. You had texted him a while ago asking for anything he was craving, and head into the store with a concrete list. After a while, you circle around some aisles, avoiding the check out.

“I feel like I’m forgetting something,” you muse, knowing it’s untrue, but hoping to trigger a memory anyway. You can’t put it off any longer, finally checking out and heading back to your apartment. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t avoiding Isabella just a little.

You know bringing in all these groceries would be way easier with Isabella and possibly Regan’s help, but you just don’t have the social energy to talk to anyone, much less her, right now. By some miracle, you bring everything in yourself, and hope to get it put away before you see Isabella.

You turn to the freezer, putting away the ice cream. When you turn back around, you��re suddenly met face to face with Isabella, who has opened one of the boxes and is picking at a pastry.

“Hey girlie,” she says, elongating the hey.

“Hey,” you reply lethargically, putting the last of the groceries away. She looks at the pastry in her hand like she’s just noticing it.

“Sorry, I can’t help it, I’m italian.” She smiles, endeared by her own behavior. You have no idea what being italian has to do with asking before you open a box of your roommate’s food, but this really isn’t out of character for her. She brings up the fact that she’s half italian more than Lele Pons blames her behavior on being latina.

She’s wearing sweatpants that say chaser on the leg in red and gold varsity font, and a tight tee shirt that says “it’s okay to love them both” with silhouettes of the male love interests from one of the vampire shows she always watches. You collect the plastic bags to put in recycling, and see a piece of paper on the counter.

It reads as follows:

Drowning in my mind

No one hears me cry

Who was I before society

Before society put me in a pink dress

And handed me blonde hair dye

And told me to lose ten pounds or be labeled a freak?

The happiest people cry the most

Let the lyrics be your story

But I’m not like the other skinny blonde pretty girls

I’m

Different

-b.g. xox

You hold back a sigh.

“I think this is yours.” you say, handing it to her.

“Oh, it’s just some of my poetry I left lying around, that’s so embarrassing.”

I know, you think, you do that all the time.

“Did you read it?” She asks, hopefully.

“Nope.”

“Thank god, that would have been so embarrassing. My poetry is something really… deep, and personal to me.”

“Uh huh. Hey, I’m going to be doing a lot of self care this weekend, so-”

“Oh!” she interjects, eerily similar to Phoebe Buffay - you guess she’s been watching friends again - “I wanted to ask… is Leo coming over later?” Her voice is riddled with subtext, the expression on her face a little too invested in your answer.

“Uh, yeah. I told you the other day we’re spending the weekend together…”

She cuts you off again, a sudden, intense look on her face.

“When will he be here?”

You check your phone, scrolling through your recent texts.

“By 7 at the latest.” It’s around 6:40 now.

“Oh my god, I have to change,” she rushes back to her room, presumably digging through her recent additions to her closet.

You’re frozen for a minute after the interaction, left with a furrowed brow and the beginnings of a headache. You blink, then choose to reschedule processing why she feels the need to change for your boyfriend to a more convenient time. That’s enough of that for today. You don’t care what else happens, you’re not talking to anyone besides Leo for at least the rest of the day. You retreat to your room to finally shower and change into something comfy. As you pass by Isabella’s room, you hear her talking to Regan.

“...There’s something almost… supernatural about him.”

You bite back a laugh.

“Do you think he’s a…” Regan begins, ending the sentence with something too quiet to hear, but you’d bet almost any organ she said vampire.

So close. So, so close, and yet… here you are.

Not much later, Leo texts you to let you know he’s here. You read his text, and run out to hug him in the living room before even typing a reply. He picks you up, and spins you around. The embrace is warm and fulfilling and familiar, and you wish it would last forever.

“Hi, Sparky.” you murmur into his neck.

“Estrella…” he says, rocking you back and forth gently and pressing a kiss into your jawline, “I missed you so much.” He punctuates the sentence with another kiss, this one to your lips, and you smile more genuinely than you have all day. You’re about to agree when you remember the good news you’ve been saving to tell him in person.

“Guess what I got on sale for like, half off,” you start, excitedly, continuing at his invested expression, “the Assassin’s Creed bundle I showed you!”

“No way,” he starts, and you nod.

“I’ll go get everything set up, drinks are in the kitchen!” He watches you retreat into your room, disbelieving how he could possibly get someone as perfect as you to fall for him. He’s not going to question his luck. He grabs a couple caffeinated sparkling ices, and meets you in your room, setting down his bag and grabbing some comfy clothes to change into.

As you both get settled in, you fill each other in on all the ridiculous shit you’ve been through this week. You finally conclude the bizarre - yet somehow standard - Isabella escapades.

“So I will be avoiding all contact as much as possible,” you laugh.

“Yeah, no shit,” he agrees, “Consider me your human buffer.” You thank him, hugging him again and pressing a kiss to his lips.

The next couple hours are spent cuddling and finishing season 4 of Castlevania. Both reeling from the season finale, you agree this is a good place to take a break, get some food, and decide what game you should start with. It’s already 10pm, which most people would consider too late for dinner, but you have all weekend to fuck up your sleep schedules.

“Let’s review,” Isabella says, holding up two red lipsticks. She turns to Regan. “Which one?”

“That one,” Regan says, pointing to the one on the left, then turns to her list, and continues. “Here’s what we know; we’ve never seen him eat, and he never seems tired. He’s really smart-”

“Almost too smart,” Isabella adds, selecting black rose dangle earrings from her jewelry. Regan agrees, and continues.

“He’s almost hypnotically attractive, and his smile is a little too dazzling.”

“There’s something… supernatural about him. Like he’s not… all human.”

Regan writes this down.

“Plus he’s always wearing black and red, and those flowy button up shirts? It’s all adding up, Ree. That dream that someone was outside my window, the ring, everything…” She says, referencing the black and red cocktail ring she’d found with her stuff when she’d first moved, “I’m not saying it’s definite, just that… there’s a chance.”

“What about…” Regan says hesitantly, nodding toward your room.

“Please,” she scoffs, “he’s only with them to get close to me, like Damon and Caroline. Edward couldn’t have just approached Bella out of the blue, he had to infiltrate her friend group first, to seem less suspicious. Not to sound mean or anything, but they really don’t seem like the type someone… like him… would choose.” her voice gets dreamy when she mentions him.

In spite of having seen most mainstream vampire media almost as many times as Isabella, Regan still considers her the expert on these things, and decides not to point out that Edward didn’t infiltrate Bella’s friend group. Maybe it comes up in one of the retellings she hasn’t read yet.

“So, what now?”

Isabella sets down her lipstick, and turns to her friend.

“I tell him.”

Regan’s eyes widen.

“You’re going to tell him you know?”

“No… not yet. It’s too soon, we don’t have enough evidence. I’m going to tell him I know he’s in love with me, then once he’s secure in our relationship... we’ll see where it goes.”

She stands up, assessing herself in the mirror. She chose her outfit carefully; short red dress with black roses and black mesh collar, black rose bracelet to match her earrings, snug faux leather jacket, and black stiletto ankle booties with a very skinny heel, the zipper on the outside gold, not silver. She fluffs her wavy hair and turns towards the door. She looks back one more time, holding onto the doorway.

“Wish me luck.”

Leo enters the kitchen, seeing Isabella already there, leaning against the counter seductively. She’s wearing an outfit and jewelry this late at night that makes Leo wonder if she’s going to an emo tea party. He puts the takeout in the microwave. She’s still staring at him.

“Uh… hey.”

She lets out a dainty giggle, looking him up and down.

“... Hi.”

At a loss for words, and really wanting the awkward silence to be over, he continues, “Did you need something?”

“What I need,” she walks closer to him, tracing her finger over his collar, “is you.”

What the fuck?

His brain seems to stall for a moment, and she uses this opportunity to continue.

“I know why you’re here. I know that you’re only using them to get closer to me. I know-”

“Woah-”

“That you’re in love with me.”

Okay, double what the fuck.

She takes his stunned silence as shyness, and steps closer, putting her arms around his shoulders.

“You don’t need to play so coy, I-”

This time she’s the one that gets cut off. He grabs her arms and gently steps away, trying to make it abundantly clear that he’s not into this.

“Woah, okay, slow down. First of all, you’re 17 and I’m turning 20 in a couple months, so that’s a hard no. Second, I don’t know where you got this idea, but I am not dating them to get closer to you. We’ve known each other since we were like, 15, and have been through everything together. I’ve only known you for a couple months. I love them. Probably more than I’ve loved anything ever. I thought that was pretty obvious.”

He doesn’t want to be mean, he really doesn’t, but he can tell from the look on her face that she still thinks this is all part of some game.

“So why don’t I ever see you eat? Why are you so smart, and always up at night? I know what you are.”

He has to physically hold back a laugh. He takes a step back, and places his hands on the counter.

“Isabella, I have adhd. And I’m literally an engineering student. Why wouldn’t I be smart and have a shitty sleep schedule?”

She starts to protest, and he pulls out the reheated take out from the microwave.

“And for the record, I do eat.”

Exiting the kitchen quickly and retreating back to your room, he hands you your food.

“I got the game set up!” you say excitedly.

“Nice!”

You take one look at his face and can tell something happened. He sees this, and continues.

“I just had a very… interesting interaction with Isabella,” before he finishes the sentence, your head is already in your hands. You let out a groan.

“What did she do?” you mutter from behind your hands.

He pulls you into his lap, rubbing your back.

“I’m not totally sure,” you laugh, “but I think she thinks I’m secretly in love with her…” you’re both laughing before he can even finish the sentence.

“No…” you laugh, “no fucking way…”

“Believe me, I put an end to that as soon as it started.”

“Oh, I do.”

He runs his hand over your back, and you’re quiet for a moment.

“You know,” he continues, “I think getting our own place has definitely moved up the priority list.”

You couldn’t agree more.

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Seventeen

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: 70% of this fic is written on my phone lying on my side in bed while using swipe typing bc im too lazy to type out words and it shows

TW: discussion of SA

***

Nesta has an easier time adjusting to a third person in the cabin than she thought she would. Maybe it’s because Azriel indeed minds his business, and half the time Nesta isn’t aware he’s there at all.

Cassian seems to be more irritated by it than anyone else—not his brother, of course, but the fact that he and Nesta no longer exist in their own little bubble. Which is how he ends up at Nesta’s apartment with an overnight bag, sprawled out stomach-down on her mattress while she gets ready for bed.

“TV show or movie?” he asks, clicking through her laptop. Shows are Nesta’s thing and movies are Cassian’s; she feels generous enough tonight to say, “Movie.”

“Thank god,” he mutters, typing something on the laptop. “There’s a Turkish horror flick that I was saving for you.”

“Where do you even find these films?” Grabbing her hairbrush, she flops onto the bed beside him and starts brushing out her brassy locks. Before he can answer, Nesta’s phone buzzes from the stool she uses as a bedside table. Feyre’s name flashes on the screen.

Nesta frowns, but picks up without a second thought. “What is it?”

“Nothing serious,” her sister replies. “Just checking in.”

Before Cassian, Nesta didn’t very much understand the purpose of “checking in” without reason. Now she empathizes with Feyre a little. “I’m fine,” she says.

Deciding she can do better than that, she adds, “Cassian and I are about to start a movie.”

“Is it his choice? I’m so sorry for you.”

Nesta peeks over to where Cassian is still intently searching for his obscure movie and smiles a little. “I like Turkish horror,” she replies.

Cassian overhears and grins approvingly.

“Well, I’m looking at wedding dresses with Rhys so he can prepare for when he inevitably proposes,” Feyre says. “In case you wanted to know.”

Nesta did not particularly want to know, but she doesn’t say this. “Sounds fun. Is that it?”

“For what?”

“This conversation.”

Feyre sighs over the line. “Yes, I’ll let you go now. Thanks for picking up.”

The bar is in hell, Nesta thinks. Mostly because she put it there, but she still feels embarrassed to be congratulated over such small things. “Thanks for keeping it short.”

She’s about to hang up when she hears a male voice speak up in the background, and Feyre interrupts, “Wait—before you go, can you tell Cassian to call Rhys back? He wants Cass’s help picking a new team leader for the Italy project.”

Nesta has no idea what that is, but she says, “Sure, fine.” They say their goodbyes and hang up.

“What’d she want?” Cassian says without looking over at her.

“She said Rhys wants you to call him about the Italy project.”

Cassian turns toward her, half sitting up. “Really? What for?”

“Something about picking a team leader.” She returns to brushing her hair. “Why? What’s the Italy project?”

“Something I thought we put aside for good,” he grumbles. “It’s a year-long overseas project in Milan. Rhys thinks it’s gonna bring in a shit ton of money.”

“Sounds big. What do you have to do with it, though?” She’s never heard of Cassian being involved in Night Court’s international operations, even though he takes on more work than the usual employee.

Cassian shrugs, going back to movie searching. “He wanted me to be the one leading the team, and I guess he still feels petty about me turning him down. Honestly, choosing team leaders outside of my department isn’t even part of my jurisdiction.”

Nesta hesitates. “He offered you the job? When?” She didn’t know this.

“On New Year’s.”

“And you turned it down?”

“Yeah.” Cassian clicks on a link that looks like it’ll plant fifteen different viruses in Nesta’s laptop. “Found the movie,” he says.

“Why would you do that?” Nesta demands.

“The movie?”

“The job offer! Why would you turn down such a big opportunity without even telling me?”

Cassian laughs in confusion. “Are you angry right now?”

She’s astonished at his nonchalance. “Cassian,” she says. “It’s Italy.”

Italy with the art and history and seaside beauty—it’s on their top five places to see before they die.

“It’s Milan,” he says like there’s a difference, “and it’s an entire year away from you.” He shakes his head, sitting up to face her. “Are you out of your mind?”

She goes still. “Don’t tell me you said no because of me.”

“Of course I said no because of you.”

“It’s your dream job!” she bursts. “Traveling, exploring, being on your own—”

“Those are our dreams. I made those plans with you. The hell am I supposed to do all the way in Italy without you?”

“You sound codependent,” she retorts.

He narrows his brows. “Like you wouldn’t do the same thing in my position?”

He’s right, of course. Nesta would do the exact same thing for him. But Nesta and Cassian are not the same, and they both know it. “You can’t make that comparison,” she sighs.

“Why not?” he demands.

“Because—” She struggles to put it into words. “I would give up a long distance job for you because it would be worth it. You’re worth it. It doesn’t work the other way around.”

“Again: why the fuck not?”

So he’s really going to make her spell it out. “Because you’re a good boyfriend. You’re affectionate and caring, you always go the extra mile for those you love, and you come with all these free perks. It’s a great deal. And I’m not anything terrible, but I’m the bare minimum compared to you. Why would you give up Italy for the bare minimum?”

Cassian looks at her in disbelief. “I don’t even know how you can say so many wrong things in a row.”

“He’s blinded by love,” Nesta mutters to herself.

“First of all,” he holds up a finger, “I don’t know where you learned to compare yourself to me, but I don’t like it. You make it sound like I need to be paid back for every half-decent thing I do, and that is not the case at all.”

“Of course you think that,” she says. “You wouldn’t be a good person if you didn’t.”

“Then let me be a blunt person.” He puts a hand on her knee and looks her in the eye. “You will never be like me. Very few people are; you can’t take it personally.”

“Oh my god.” Her eyes might roll out of her head.

“But you’re not the bare minimum. Not even close.” He states it like an undeniable fact.

“How so?” she challenges.

“Like how Elain told me about this boy who broke her heart in her high school, and how the next day he walked into class in a leg cast. And how she just knew you had something to do with it, and you two had a huge fight about it that lasted a week.”

Nesta does not enjoy that memory being brought up. Elain called her a psychopath for the incident, and to save her feelings, Nesta (rather unconvincingly) said it had been an accident.

“I didn’t push anybody into a creek,” she maintains the lie. “Sometimes people just fall down there.”

“To be fair, you’re a lot more stable now than you were then. Now when people hurt those you care about, you find sneakier ways to hurt them back. Don’t you?”

“I do not,” Nesta defends.

“Really? Because Eris texted me earlier saying you’ve been ignoring him since New Year’s, and he’s starting to get worried that you have something heinous planned for him. I asked him why he would ever think such a thing of you.” Cassian leans forward and rests his chin on her shoulder. “Why would he think such a thing of you, Nesta?”

Cassian looks pretty well off from here, doesn’t he? She remembers Eris’s smug face. Did you know Rhysand’s parents found him sleeping in the streets?

“Because he said a bad thing,” Nesta says, looking down at her fingernails. “And I have an unfortunate reputation at school for getting back at people who say bad things.” Like the time Brian O’Connell made jokes about a rape trial the class was studying, and then couldn’t find an internship at a single firm the following summer.

“And what did he say? Because I can’t imagine he would directly insult you. He actually likes you, ass that he is.” His face is warm so close to her neck.

She looks away. “I won’t repeat it.”

That seems to be all Cassian needs to get an idea of what Eris said. “And how long are you planning on holding it against him?”

“Forever.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Nesta meets the eyes that haven’t left her face this entire time and snorts. “What’s your point?” Seriously, she’s starting to redden at how close he is.

He buries his face in her neck, his stubble rasping against the sensitive skin there. “The point is that you also do a lot for the people you love. Just in a different way.” He pulls away to look her in the eye. “Don’t do anything to Eris, though,” he says. “Not that I care for him or his shit opinions, but whatever you have planned isn’t worth it.”

Nesta wants to scoff in disbelief at the sincerity on Cassian’s face. He’s always choosing kindness, even at the worst moments. “So that’s your argument?” she says. “You won’t go to Italy because your girlfriend has a bad temper and a taste for revenge?”

“That’s my final argument, Your Honor.” He takes her hand. “Forget Milan, will you? One day I’ll take you to Portofino.”

The longer Nesta knows Cassian, the more she finds it useless to hide from him. Which is why she lets him watch the thoughts flit across her face as she considers his words, deciding whether she believes him. Deciding whether he’s right to give her so much devotion.

“Fine,” she finally says. “You’re right.”

A slow smile spreads across his face as he realizes he won. Wrapping his arms around Nesta’s waist and legs, he hauls her into his lap and shifts around until they’re both comfortable. The movie is forgotten for now.

“Out of curiosity…” He noses at the nape of her neck. “What did Eris say about me to make you so angry?”

When Nesta doesn’t answer, he says, “I’ve already heard everything that could possibly be said. The shit that used to get me when I was eighteen doesn’t have the same hold on me a decade later.”

She lets herself relax into his hold. “It was about the time you spent as an orphan.” Technically, he’s still an orphan, but it was different back then. “I didn’t like the tone of his voice.”

Cassian’s answering hum is a low rumble against her shirt. “Did you know my biological father was from Italy?”

Nesta perks up at that. “No.” She assumed he was entirely Algerian, even though he and Azriel probably look ethnically ambiguous to most. “Isn’t that all the more reason to see Italy someday?”

“Not at all,” he says. “If I could pretend that half of me didn’t exist, I would.”

She can’t think of a response that doesn’t involve a question, so she doesn’t reply. She waits for Cassian to speak on his own terms.

“I went to Italy once,” he admits. “For less than a day while my brothers were partying in Monte Carlo. I was young and stupid, and thought I would never be complete if I didn’t know who my father was.”

“Who was he?” She doesn’t know why she’s whispering.

“No one worth remembering,” Cassian says, his arms unconsciously tightening around her. “I put some dots together and realized how he and my mother must have met, how he must’ve—forced himself on her, and I decided that I didn’t care about bloodlines at all. I never returned to Italy after that.”

Nesta’s hands want to reach out and touch him, soothe him. But her muscles are suddenly very cold, and she can only stiffen. “And what about now? Do you… not want to go back?”

“It’s just a place to me,” he says. “Nothing special, nothing terrible. But I like the way it sounds when you talk about it.” His eyes sparkle. “I’d like to pretend it’s my first time going with you.”

“Alright, then.” She nods. “One day, we’ll go together. It’ll be our first time.”

***

Cassian refuses to let Nesta leave bed the next morning, dragging his heavy mouth across her body whenever she tries to get up. She’s about to surrender to him altogether when her phone starts vibrating loudly, insistently.

Breaking away from Cassian’s attempt at cuddling, she answers without checking the caller ID. “Yes?” she croaks sleepily.

“Where the hell have you been?” Emerie demands.

Nesta shoves Cassian away despite his protests, untangling her legs from the sheets. “At home,” she says, getting out of bed and heading for the bathroom. “Am I supposed to be somewhere else?”

“We haven’t seen you in two weeks,” Emerie says. “Gwyn thought your boyfriend’s weird family killed you.”

“That’s not what happened,” Nesta assures, pulling her shorts down and sitting on the toilet. “I just needed some alone time.” People are all around her these days, it seems. Her body still can’t quite adjust to it.

“Well, have you had enough—are you peeing?”

“Yeah.” She wipes and flushes the toilet.

“Well, clear your day and kick your sorry boyfriend out of your place. I can’t remember the last time I went out.”

“Why does everybody always want to go out?” Nesta says as she washes her hands. “What’s wrong with staying in, being safe, never leaving the house?” She dries her hands on a towel and returns to the bedroom, where Cassian is now sitting up and checking his emails.

“You’re preaching to the choir, but this actually wasn’t my idea,” Emerie says.

Nesta and Cassian alert at the sound of a knock from the front door. Nesta never has uninvited guests.

“Hold on a second, Em,” she says, jogging up the short set of steps to the door. She opens it to the sight of an exasperated-looking Gwyn.

“Jeez, next time send a text that you’re alive, will you?” Gwyn says, shoving past Nesta to enter the apartment. “Do you know how worried I’ve been—” She halts midsentence, one foot hovering above a step as she realizes that Nesta isn’t alone. As she sees Cassian in her bed, bare-chested and highly amused.

“Hey.” He raises a hand in greeting.

Gwyn pales.

“Hello?” Emerie calls over the line.

“You girls both share the same brain,” Nesta sighs. “Let me call you back, Emerie.”

Gwyn whirls around just as Nesta hangs up. “That won’t be necessary,” she says quickly, looking embarrassed. “I’ll be outside. I’m sorry.”

She hurries out of the apartment even faster than she came in, ducking her head to hide her face.

Nesta tosses her arms up in the air. “Great,” she says to Cassian. “Your abs scared her away.”

“But I didn’t do anything—”

She shuts the door behind her as she follows Gwyn outside, barefoot and all. She barely notices the freezing cold air or the awful press of damp grass beneath her feet as she catches up to Gwyn and grabs her elbow. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Gwyn jerks suddenly, yanking out of Nesta’s hold. Her breathing seems a little shallow, and she looks even more embarrassed for it. “It’s nothing. I just didn’t know you had someone over.”

“Cassian? He’s cool, you don’t need to be weird about him,” she tries to reassure Gwyn. “Though I did use to tell him that not everybody wants to see him shirtless all the time.”

“It’s not that,” Gwyn says, waving her off.

Nesta gestures to the apartment. “Do you want to come back inside, then? I’m sure he has clothes on by now.”

Gwyn clears her throat uncomfortably and looks down. “I’d rather not. I’m—I don’t like being around men.”

Nesta pauses, not sure if she heard right. “Like, in a ‘check the backseat of your car before getting in’ way, or…?”

“No, like I can’t be alone in a room with a man without feeling sick. It activates my fight or flight, it’s weird.” She’s carefully stiff, like she’s ready to be met with humiliation.

Nesta remembers that Gwyn has never told her about her therapy sessions before, but she knows they’re more intensive than her own weekly conversations with Lana.

“Not that I think your boyfriend is a bad person,” Gwyn adds when Nesta doesn’t respond. “He looks really nice. He sounds nice, too.”

But Nesta doesn’t care about any of that. Unsure of what to do next, she reaches out and awkwardly pats Gwyn on the arm. “Good thing you’ve never been to the cabin, then. Cassian’s brother is staying…” She trails off when she realizes none of this is relevant. “Why are you here so early?” she asks instead.

Gwyn eases up a little at the change in subject. “I missed you. We’ve barely talked since Christmas.”

Nesta didn’t realize people would take such notice to her absence. “Yeah.” She flushes. “I do that sometimes. I’ll send a message next time I go into hibernation, though.”

“You’re freezing,” Gwyn suddenly scolds, noticing how Nesta’s goosebumped arms are wrapped tightly around herself. She unzips her red hoodie and shrugs it off. “Go back inside and get dressed.” She flings the hoodie around Nesta’s shoulders before Nesta can protest. “Meet me at my car. We’re hanging out.”

Nesta knows that a last minute change of events is not the end of the world, even if it sometimes feels like it. For Gwyn and Emerie, she can bear the discomfort of unexpected plans, same as she does for Cassian. But she at least has to know: “How long will we be out?”

“You can come home after lunch.” At Nesta’s face, Gwyn adds, “Lunch will be at two and shouldn’t take more than an hour.”

Looking her friend up and down, someone who has such an easy time understanding her, Nesta nods in satisfaction. She turns around to go back inside.

***

They end up at the library where Gwyn works, in the stacks of the long-abandoned encyclopedia section.

Emerie takes a loud sip from the huge McDonald’s soda she snuck in. “So all this show was because Gwyn didn’t want to work her shift alone?”

“I just have some last minute cleanup to do,” she hisses for the third time, shoving an old book back where it belongs. “Go to the porn section if you’re so bored here.”

“Oh, I definitely will,” Emerie says. “But I’m glad that we’re congregating now, even if it’s in the most depressing part of the library. I have a present for you girls.” She hands Nesta her drink so she can dig around in her purse.

Nesta personally has no complaints. The library is quiet, it smells of paper and old ink, and it holds all her favorite books. It’s almost better than staying in.

Emerie successfully pulls out a handful of folded and wrinkled papers from her bag, smoothing them out as best she can. “One for each of us,” she says, passing the papers around.

Nesta takes her paper and stares at the header. Gwyn is the first to speak. “Pole dancing classes?”

“Why?” Nesta says.

“Well, I originally offered them to Justinian and Isaac but they said no—”

“It’s really not for me,” Gwyn interrupts, trying to pass the registration form back to Emerie. “Sorry.”

Nesta doesn’t give her form back.

“Look,” Emerie says. “I get the hesitation. We’re a handful of boring bitches who hate having fun. But don’t you think that has to change at some point?”

“I’ve known you guys a month,” Gwyn retorts. “We’ve only been boring bitches for a month. This is too much.” She turns to Nesta for help.

Nesta is still staring at the paper. Dancing—on a pole, yes, but it’s still dancing. “I’ll do it,” she says.

Gwyn looks betrayed and Emerie looks elated. “Really?” She hops up and down. “That’s two against one, Gwyn. You have to do it, too.”

Gwyn’s cheeks are turning red in frustration. “You can’t just force this on me—”

“Gwyneth,” a sharp voice interrupts their conversation. Nesta spins around to find a young woman with dark skin and bleached white curls heading in their direction, a stack of books in her arms.

She halts before Nesta and glares. “No food or drink in the library.” She looks pointedly at the 32-ounce in her hand.

“It’s not mine.” Nesta shoves the drink back to Emerie.

But the librarian has turned to Gwyn, who hides the dance class form behind her back. “And what are you doing here?” she demands.

“Just putting up a few books, Merrill,” Gwyn answers quickly.

“While socializing?” the woman named Merrill sneers.

“We were just asking for help finding the romance section. Is that a problem?” Emerie crosses her arms and steps forward, letting a little of her beautiful deadliness slip into her stance. It’s the deadliness of someone at the top of her law class, someone who will graduate in a few months with all the power she could want in the palm of her hand. Nesta gets a rush from playing the lawyer game, too, but she’s never had the kind of ambition that Emerie has. Emerie is a shark sitting around in a small pond.

Merrill is not impressed. She snatches the styrofoam cup dangling from Emerie’s hand and tosses it in the nearby trash can. She turns back to Gwyn. “Hand your badge over and clock out.”

“But I’m not done yet—”

“Now.”

“Okay,” she squeaks. She pulls her ID badge off her neck and hands it to Merrill.

Nesta gapes in disbelief. Before she can speak up, Merrill says, “No loitering in the library. If you don’t have anything you need to check out, leave.” With one final judgmental look, she turns down an aisle of dusty books and disappears.

Gwyn makes a face at her back.

“That woman is not old enough to be acting that misanthropic,” Emerie says after Merrill is gone.

“Whatever,” Gwyn mutters. The registration form is still in her hand. She crumples it into a ball and throws it into the trash. “Let’s get out of here.”

Nesta stares at the trash as Gwyn turns to leave. “Coward,” she says.

Gwyn’s head snaps toward Nesta, her auburn hair swinging. “Excuse me?”

She shrugs. “You heard me.” Emerie’s eyes bounce back and forth between the girls.

“I did,” Gwyn says. “I was just making sure this wasn’t coming from the woman who would sooner bite someone’s head off than do something she doesn’t want to.”

“Girls,” Emerie snaps before Nesta can bite back. “It’s just a stupid dance class. I thought it would be fun to do together, but it doesn’t matter anymore.” Taking Gwyn by one arm and Nesta by the other, she starts steering them out of the stacks like a stern mother. “Now let’s go eat. I’m fucking hungry.”

Gwyn’s mood from the library doesn’t recover, even as they sit down for lunch at the local diner. Nesta thinks Gwyn might actually be sick when the male waiter winks at her while taking her order, and it’s not until long after he’s gone that color returns to her face. When their food arrives, Gwyn only picks at her plate.

“What’s wrong?” Nesta finally has to ask bluntly. “You look pukey.” Did the coward comment affect Gwyn more than she let on, or was it Merrill’s attitude that threw her off?

At Nesta’s words, Gwyn becomes even more pallid. “I just don’t feel great today,” she murmurs, looking around like she’s seeking a way out of the diner. “Sorry guys, I didn’t mean to be such a buzzkill. Maybe I should go home early.”

“Absolutely not,” Emerie says. “If you’re going home, we’re going home with you.”

Gwyn bites her lip, trying to decide if she wants that or not. But something about her antsy demeanor is too familiar to Nesta, because she says, “If you really want to be alone, do you mind driving me home first? Emerie’s car is a mess.”

“You just need to move around a few papers,” Emerie protests.

But Gwyn nods distractedly, already gathering her things. “Sure, no problem.” They pay the bill and go their separate ways.

During the ride home, the sky that’s been gray all day finally breaks open, unleashing a spattering of rain over the town. Nesta watches it sprinkle while Gwyn drives in silence.

“Why are you scared of Merrill?” she eventually asks. “She doesn’t look much older than you.”

Gwyn snorts, but there isn’t much heart to it. “Merrill is my superior, but I can handle her on most days.”

“Just not today?”

Gwyn eyes Nesta warily from the corner of her eye. “No, not today. Or this week.”

Nesta chooses not to push. The dull metal of the cars surrounding them glints under the rain, and they arrive at a red light.

After a minute, she takes a breath and blurts, “I’m not always like that around guys, you know.”

Nesta watches her closely, remembering how ghostly she seemed around Cassian, then the waiter. “Keep going.”

Gwyn stares straight at the traffic ahead, her fingers turning bone white on the steering wheel. “I’m just going through a hard period. Everything upsets me and I don’t know how to think straight. It’s like my brain accidentally traveled to the past and now it’s stuck there.” She sounds shaky, breathless, and it makes Nesta wonder what exactly her mind is experiencing.

Nesta knows what it’s like to be unable to move on. Her own brain has only recently started looking toward the future. “Where are you stuck, specifically?” she asks hesitantly. Maybe she can help Gwyn navigate her way out.

Gwyn’s chin quivers. “In a dark room.” Her lips form a tight line. “Being held down. I’m outnumbered.”

Nesta’s stomach turns. “How far back is it?”

“Two years,” Gwyn whispers. “Lately I can’t even look at anything without—remembering it. Thinking about it. Every time I feel like I’m moving past it, I end up being wrong.”

The light turns green, and Nesta puts a hand on Gwyn’s knee in an attempt to ground her. “Drive,” she commands softly.

Gwyn presses down on the accelerator, but Nesta can feel her leg trembling beneath her hand. She squeezes her knee hard. Even with the dark parts of her own past, Nesta has never felt what Gwyn is feeling right now. So she tries to stick to what she knows.

“It’s like you said,” she says carefully. “You’re going through a period where your brain isn’t being friendly to you. It’s horrible, but you can live with the knowledge that it’ll be over eventually.”

Gwyn shakes her head, holding back tears. “It doesn’t work like that. Once it goes away, it’ll just come back again. And it’ll be like that for the rest of my life.”

“You’re right.” Nesta doesn’t have a solution for that, and she hates it. “You’ll never forget. You can be at the peak of your life and still remember all of it. But,” she says slowly, “whether you reach a point where it barely fazes you, or if you keep crippling under the weight of it decades later, you’ll still be normal. You’ll be a perfectly normal human.”

Gwyn lets out a tearful laugh at that. “What does that even mean?”

Shit. “It means…” Nesta tries to explain herself better. “In case you’re worried that there’s something very wrong with you, I’m here telling you that there’s not. There will never be anything wrong with you.”

Gwyn eyes her skeptically as they turn onto a residential road. “Even if I never get past one nightmare I lived years ago? Even if that nightmare defines me until the day I die?”

“That won’t happen.” Nesta’s tone is simple, factual. “But yes, even then.”

“Really? You’re not gonna tell me to live for the better days or whatever?”

“Does that sound like something that would help you? Because I can say it if it does.”

Gwyn snorts. “No.” But her limbs are steady and her eyes are clear on the road. She clears her throat. “Thank you for listening. I think I might feel a little better now.”

“Was it because of what I said?” Nesta tries not to be too hopeful.

“I wouldn’t give you that much credit,” Gwyn says, crushing her hope. “But I’m glad I told you. It makes things…a lot easier for me.” She exhales deeply.

“You know my plate is mostly empty these days.” Nesta pats her knee. “That means I’ll always have room to help carry your shit.”

They pull up to Nesta’s apartment, and Gwyn parks at the curb. “Give me your dance class thing,” she says suddenly.

Frowning, Nesta pulls the wrinkled paper out of her purse and hands it to Gwyn.

Gwyn smooths it out on the steering wheel and grabs a pen from a cupholder, clicking it. “If you’re going to help carry my shit, I guess I have time for pole dancing now.”

“But that’s mine,” Nesta protests as Gwyn starts filling out the form.

“It can be both of ours,” she says, writing Nesta’s name under hers.

“Really?” Nesta grins with an excitement that she doesn’t easily feel. “You’re going to do it with us?”

“Why would I let you do it without me? So I can become the third wheel in our girl group?” She gives Nesta a look that says No way in hell.

Nesta rolls her eyes. “That would never happen to you.”

“Sure,” Gwyn drawls. She finishes the form and folds it in half before pocketing it. “I’ll give this to Emerie as a gift.” She leans over to peck Nesta on the cheek. “Now get home. Love you.”

Nesta turns red at the words and coughs. “Thanks for the ride,” she responds, getting out of the car.

“Say it back!” Gwyn calls after her. But Nesta shuts the door in her face and waves, pretending she can’t hear her. Gwyn mock-scowls at her through the window, but lets her off easy and drives away.

That’s enough feelings for today, Nesta decides. Even if her chest is swelling with emotion for her friend. It’s a sweet hurt that lingers long after she returns to her empty apartment.

***

a/n: i’m back in my no plot, just vibes era

taglist: @hellasblessed @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @rarephloxes

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Liam

Rio: I still can’t believe all that mess just happened

Rio: I swear to God my friends aren’t usually that trash like… what the fuck

Liam: it was unbelievable, are you ok

Rio: Like not at all but there’s nothing you can do

Rio: and you’ve already done loads more than I could ask, so don’t worry

Rio: This has really blindsided me, I’d never have expected this from her

Liam: sometimes you don’t know people how you think you do, or you did but they change on you into somebody else

Rio: So true

Rio: I never knew her, clearly

Rio: and she didn’t know me if she thought I was ever going to take her side over my family, was that the plan?

Rio: I genuinely do not get why she did this, tbh

Liam: she probably wasn’t planning further ahead than getting your other mate to take her side, she did things without thinking when I knew her

Rio: Who in their right mind would take her side

Rio: even without the full story

Liam: I dunno, I could be looking at it wrong and what she wanted was for all this to come out

Rio: Now I’m just worried there’s something seriously wrong with her

Rio: it’s not normal, no shit but

Rio: there has to be something going on to drive her to this, right?

Liam: if it’s a cry for help, getting this many other people involved and doing it tonight is a weird twist

Rio: It’s fucked, on so many levels I can’t even get into

Rio: Poor Edie

Rio: Is she mad at me now?

Liam: you don’t have to worry about Edie, she saw what Lex was like before this, she’s a good judge of who people are underneath whatever they put across

Rio: at least one of us is

Rio: I just don’t want her thinking I was out to ruin her night or make it about me and my friends’ bullshit

Rio: I was trying to do the opposite, draw a bigger crowd, you know

Liam: she understands where you were coming from, and it’s like you said, the two of us are in a bubble, I’m not gonna let anything ruin her night or switch up what it’s about

Rio: I’m really glad

Rio: At least that good still came from tonight

Rio: she doesn’t need to feel involved with all this Lexie business, it’s definitely about me, not Edie and you, I can see that now

Liam: I’d be a dick when you’re still going through it if I said I was buzzing we’re both out of it but I was questioning when it started if it was a bit about me, and her, I dunno what I could or would do if Lexie was, like, in love with me or something

Rio: But perfectly valid, this is a shit show

Rio: You don’t need to worry about her, she’s not going to come anywhere near me or mine ever again

Rio: it’s a betrayal beyond what she said in the text, and she knows that

Liam: she don’t worry me, and you don’t have to worry about anything but what she’s trying to involve you in

Rio: Oh we’re done

Rio: now I know she can’t fuck with me any more

Liam: loads of good came out of tonight then

Rio: I suppose that’s true

Rio: it doesn’t feel like that right now but hey

Liam: being done with her shite is gonna feel better in the long run

Rio: Sorry, I am not trying to dump this on you

Rio: that’s how I got here

Liam: Edie’s not mad at you but she would be at me if I just dipped on her sister in the middle of this

Rio: I appreciate that you took the time to do the digging

Rio: can I ask how you went about it?

Liam: not if you’re asking bc you wanna do more on her, that’s not being done or gonna make you feel better

Rio: Oh, no, it’s not about her

Rio: It’s for personal reasons

Liam: if you don’t know what you’re doing you’re gonna end up alerting the person you’re looking into before you find out what you wanna know

Rio: and it’s not something you can teach me?

Rio: I’m not a totally technophobic 👵 I swear

Liam: I don’t even know what you’re looking for

Rio: If Lexie had done more to me, behind the scenes, how could I find out if it was her

Liam: you’d know bc she can’t cover her tracks, it was easy for me to find the things I did

Rio: you don’t think she could keep it up then

Rio: yeah, that’s probably true

Liam: I don’t know, maybe if she wanted this to blow up as fast as it did and didn’t want something else to

Rio: She’s shot herself in the foot if it was her

Rio: anyway

Rio: I still feel bad, I should make it up to Edie

Liam: we could be giving her too much credit or not enough

Liam: Edie meanwhile deserves full credit for how the show went

Rio: I’m going to take her on an actual decent night out

Rio: you’re invited too, of course

Liam: thanks, if she wants me there, I’ll be there

Rio: We could go [somewhere bouj and your vibe] next weekend

Liam: where 😏

Liam: now I’ve searched it, yeah, alright, she’ll feel 👑 going there

Rio: Right?

Rio: I know it was technically your birthday but a girl can never feel like a 👑 too much

Rio: I’ll take her shopping first too but you don’t have to come to that bit, don’t worry 😉

Liam: wouldn’t be the first time I’ve waited outside a fitting room with a bag or the extra clothes they won’t let you take in

Rio: Bless

Rio: sisters are good training for girlfriends, for sure

Rio: I went out with a guy who had like all brothers and he was hopeless

Liam: my ma’d claim it’s more to do with her, however much of me is well behaved

Rio: well of course, that goes without saying

Rio: you aren’t a mummy’s boy type though, are you? 🤴

Rio: ‘cause I hadn’t even thought to warn her about that possibility yet

Liam: you’re too late with any warnings now

Rio: god, don’t say that, sounds so 😬 like 😂

Liam: if she calls me a mammy’s boy when you ask her, I’ll see myself out, like

Rio: I highly doubt she’ll say anything negative about you

Liam: your ma didn’t order me out when I met her, but you can give me a clue if she was just being polite, yeah

Rio: She was as surprised as the rest of us

Rio: but she’s pretty chill, and you aren’t a serial killer, so you’re good on that one

Liam: bit soon to crack a joke at Lexie’s expense or yours about how we don’t all get caught doing what we shouldn’t

Rio: 😏

Rio: if my sister goes missing, I think I’ll be able to put 2x2 together on that one, babe

Liam: the boyfriend did it every time, no technological skill required to solve the case, only luminol and an awareness of toxic masculinity

Rio: no wonder my ma liked you if you came out with all that

Rio: that’s just her energy

Liam: liked could be a bit strong but I’ll work on it, I get that everyone’s not gonna be celebrating as hard as mine is

Rio: that’s so cute 😫

Rio: it’s sweet, no one’s hating now

Liam: it’s the looking older thing, putting me at a disadvantage one time, but she knows I’m not 24 or something crazy now

Rio: No offence, but it could be a lot worse

Rio: she’s gone around with some strange people 🥴😷

Rio: and yeah, you aren’t that much older, really, so along with what you clearly have in common

Rio: I see it

Liam: not gonna get offended you think I’m normal, it’s a massive asset when I’m going round being a huge criminal, clearly

Rio: Ha, is it

Rio: stop with your jokes I’m tryna be sincere 😅

Liam: stop being sincere, you’ve had a fucked up night and if you don’t 😂 you’ll be 😭 is the cliche

Rio: God, too real

Rio: How tragic of me

Liam: nobody’ll hear it from me 😂 or 😭

Rio: Cheers, like

Rio: I’ll go get another drink and toast being free/drown my sorrows

Liam: I’d offer but you could be 3 drinks in while I’m still waiting to be served

Rio: I look older too 💁‍♀️

Liam: 🥂

Rio: I’d offer to get you guys some but I can’t 👀 yous and I’m sure you’re gonna go do something better now

Liam: I'll think of something to put the spotlight back on Edie and keep her feeling special until it's your turn

Rio: 🥰

Rio: Good job

Liam: she could teach you how to find out if Lexie did mess with you at all before, instead of giving a stranger like me access to your devices

Rio: Ah, I don’t wanna worry her

Rio: I’ll just forget about it, it’s no big

Liam: is it that worrying

Rio: Maybe I’m just over-protective, I’m sure that’s what she’d say

Liam: yeah, honestly, but I wouldn’t say it’s a bad thing

Rio: She’ll thank me when she’s not a crazy teen

Liam: probably true

Rio: It sounds like wishful thinking, I know

Rio: but I’ve been there

Liam: wishful thinking you ain’t a crazy teen no more

Rio: Charming! 😂

Liam: not a 👵 you wanted me to know

Rio: If I am you are, and you want me to know you’re not too old for her soooo 🤫

Liam: you already admitted it could be loads worse

Rio: You aren’t some sleazy ‘producer’ who pretends you don’t know how old she really is

Rio: or some wannabe rockstar

Liam: unwishful thinking or did it happen

Rio: She’s not stupid, thank God

Rio: just nightmare scenarios that would be way more worrying if she remotely was

Liam: it’s that you’ve been afraid to come to her shows before now then

Rio: Pretty much

Rio: and idk

Rio: contrary to how it seems, I try to let them have their own things

Liam: I get your motives

Rio: If she wanted me there, she’d ask, wouldn’t she?

Liam: if it’s that simple between you two

Rio: Simple ain’t the word

Liam: which sounds like her coming out with what she do or don’t want ain’t likely

Rio: She’s been vocal about what she doesn’t want but I can’t do that for her, that’s the problem

Liam: confrontation where you don’t expect anything to change is easier than getting vulnerable over something you could have, or wish you could, but dunno if you’ll get

Liam: her music matters to her, but you playing along and 👏 bc you’re her big sister isn’t enough

Rio: I know it does, doesn’t she know that

Liam: she thinks you don’t take it serious

Rio: That’s not true

Liam: to her it is or she wouldn’t have told me and I wouldn’t be telling you

Rio: I don’t know why I’ve said any of this to you

Liam: there’s some anonymity as you don’t know me, but I’m kinda invested so you’re not just venting to someone who isn’t

Rio: Honestly, forget about it

Rio: I can talk to my own sister when I need to, we’re fine

Liam: yeah, but you can let me help too

Rio: What can you do about it?

Liam: you’re here bc I invited you

Rio: She could’ve said no

Liam: and she didn’t, she said it was a good idea

Rio: yeah

Rio: me and Edie are fine

Rio: despite any efforts from ex-friends or otherwise

Liam: nobody’s crediting Lexie to that level

Rio: what are you saying, Liam?

Rio: if there’s a problem you know about, then just say

Liam: if it was about her it’d be over, it’s you saying it ain’t simple between you and Edie, I’m not saying anything

Rio: It never is, is it

Rio: were things simple with your sister?

Liam: yeah, a terminal illness is gonna make things pretty simple, like

Rio: Oh, I would’ve imagined the opposite

Liam: not for a relationship dynamic, she gets what she wants

Rio: I guess so

Rio: well, obviously, it can’t work like that long-term, sorry to be blunt

Rio: but I’m not telling you anything you don’t know

Liam: I wasn’t telling you to follow the example of me and my sister

Rio: I know

Rio: Some things can’t be fixed, that’s the truth

Liam: don’t mean you throw round a statement like that and stop trying to

Rio: All I do is try

Rio: you don’t know

Liam: I know Edie’s worth the effort

Rio: and so do I

Liam: you’ve got time and loads of chances to keep on trying is the truth

Rio: Look, it’s not a secret I’m dating our cousin, so I know you know that

Rio: it’s also not a secret that plenty of people, Edie being one of them, are not fans of that

Rio: I can’t change any of that, that’s something we’re all going to have to live with

Liam: there’s stuff you can change though that’d make things better than they are

Rio: I’m not doing anything else wrong

Rio: in her eyes, anyway

Rio: that’s where the problem starts and stops

Liam: if you say so

Rio: You’ve known her five minutes

Rio: I really don’t need a lecture when I’ve known her her whole life

Liam: I wouldn’t keep it this vague if I was putting you in your place instead of trying to spare your feelings

Rio: Spare my feelings? Like she hasn’t said it all a million times worse? 😂

Rio: worry about what you know about her after-all, but thanks

Liam: I’ve got no worries about her

Rio: ‘course not

Rio: look, I sincerely mean drop it

Rio: it’s been an intense night and a weird one on my end, let’s act like we left it there, yeah

Liam: you not wanting my help don’t mean I’m retracting the offer, it’s still there

Rio: You’re dating her, you don’t need to impress me, like

Liam: it’s about her, not you

Rio: You don’t reckon she’s better off without me then

Liam: I wouldn’t admit to it, isolating someone from their family and mates is a huge red flag

Rio: 😏 Encouraging as ever that you just bring that shit up in lieu of nothing

Liam: you brought it up

Rio: no I didn’t

Liam: when you asked me if I think she’d be better off without you

Rio: that’s hardly accusing you of being a psycho abuser

Liam: it’d be a toxic thought for me to have, especially bc I’ve not known her long enough for you

Rio: you haven’t known her long enough to have a go at me on the matter, that’s what I meant by that

Liam: I’m not having a go, I’m having a convo you started and I think is worth keeping going, for Edie’s sake

Rio: I’m not mad at you

Rio: so agreed

Liam: she’s already helped me loads with shite I’m struggling with, I wanna help her too, if I can

Rio: that’s nice

Rio: genuinely

Rio: you clearly care, I don’t have to worry about that

Liam: we did just meet but everyone’s gotta start somewhere

Rio: of course

Rio: you know people usually don’t go this fast though, I’ve not just imagined that up

Rio: most lads ‘refuse to put a label on it’

Liam: most lads think they’ve got as much time as they want to fuck about, my brain’s not wired for wasting it

Rio: I get that

Rio: but you don’t have to skip ahead, miss the fun parts, you know

Rio: like, you don’t feel forced, right

Liam: what do you think she’s rushing me into or vice versa

Rio: I know our experiences shape us, and we have no control over that, trust me, I do

Rio: but idk, it’d make me sad to think you end up doing things you didn’t actually want to, or miss out on the little things, for the sake of fitting it all in, in pursuit of those milestones

Rio: you know

Rio: neither of you deserves that

Liam: you’ve described the opposite of what we’re both doing, it’d be funny if I’d never done any of it before or I was pretending to you I hadn’t, but I’m not with her

Liam: I want it to be different and she knows it is

Rio: If that’s what you both want

Rio: then that’s all good with me

Liam: after that’s what Lexie did, I fully expected Edie to want me to do stuff I wasn’t down to, but that was before I really knew her

Rio: What did Lexie do?

Liam: you know how she can be, it was intense, and asking too much of me

Rio: that’s fucked up of her

Rio: are you okay, did you tell anybody?

Liam: what would I have said, she fancies me too hard, I had bigger things going on, it barely registered until I said about it to Edie and she was upset for me

Rio: She shouldn’t have gone out with you

Rio: even if she thought she was doing a nice thing, she clearly wasn’t mature enough to even attempt to go about it in a good way

Liam: I shouldn’t have agreed to it, she wasn’t forcing that bit, it was on me

Rio: You were grieving, bad decisions are expected

Liam: nobody was mature enough back then, it was ages ago

Rio: so young

Liam: too late now to use the rushing things chat on her

Rio: I don’t think she’s been an evil bitch the whole time

Rio: she got it wrong back then

Rio: but this time she’s crossed a line

Liam: and got caught out for it

Rio: yep

Rio: oh well, at least it’s over

Rio: even if I never work out what I did to make her do that

Liam: it’s clearly a her thing, whatever her damage is, not your fault somehow you could point at and say yeah there’s what I did

Rio: yeah

Rio: I think I’d rather I could know, what it was about

Rio: that over thinking she did it just ‘cos

Liam: I could look again, see if there’s more to find, but it ain’t gonna be a folder called why

Rio: ha

Rio: nah, you’re alright

Rio: I can move on without it

Liam: drowning your sorrows or doing a cheers, wasn’t it

Rio: 🥂

Liam: I can see you

Liam: but we're gonna head off, direct from your sister is she already feels high

Liam: I'll pick her up if you wanna 👋 [and do pick her up before Rio can answer lol]

Rio: I saw your ma commented, are you going home?

Liam: not straight back

Rio: okay, well have fun

Liam: and you

Rio: 🧡🧡

Rio: and tell her I’m sorry, yeah?

Rio: and that she was really good

Liam: yeah, I'll let her know

Rio: thanks, Liam

Liam: she'll wanna hear it

Rio: I hope so

Liam: and about [wherever they are going on this double date] too

Rio: convince her if not

Rio: she’ll 🧡 it when she gets there

Liam: both of us getting to dress up will have her 😁

Rio: absolutely

Rio: I’ve not completely forgotten who she is, like

Liam: I was hyping up your plan not calling you out as being blackout drunk this fast

Rio: you know what I mean

Rio: blackout is now the mood but hey

Liam: don’t let Lexie get to you

Rio: I’ll do my best 🙃

[cescalr]

9 and 23 for the ask game please 😊

9: Are there any fics you'd love to see but don't want to write yourself? What are they?

Ooh, um... I'm not sure! Something substantial for Cursed 2005, maybe, like a crossover with buffy or teen wolf or something, with jimbo as the pairing from cursed and idk just something interesting (please no b*angel or st*rek or st*dia), or a time travel fic for Supernatural that involves Dean as the POV but absolutely zero, nada, nothing of (even hints) De*tiel or winc*st, that's 100% a fix-it fic (bc my mans deserved a lot better than that ending smh. And so did Jo, and Anna, and Lisa and Ben and Charlie and Benny and- ).

23: What's one piece of advice you would give to anyone who wants to start writing or posting their writing online?

Hmm... Just go for it? Like, write whatever comes to mind and post it. And keep doing that. Over and over again, because it's all the same thing - practise. If you can't think of an idea, there's no reason not to go trawling for prompts. I've got this list of 200 prompts, can't remember where I found it, but it's really useful if I'm stuck. But yeah. Find some time, any amount of time, whether its 5 minutes or five hours, and write what you can, as much as you can, whether it's ten words or 10,000, or more or less, it doesn't matter. Just get words on screen (or on paper, if you prefer.) And then... post it. If the main issue is getting the courage to post it, don't read back over it. That's when the nervousness rears it's ugly head. Just post it. Straight up. Type right into the Ao3 doc and hit post if you have to, just... find a way to minimise the amount of time you give yourself to get all worked up about whether it's 'good enough' or not. It won't be perfect the first time you write something - nothing ever is. Everything requires practise. And each time you post something, you get better at it. It gets easier. If proofreading is the bane of your existence, just post it and come back later to fix any issues. If titling it is a problem pick a random word or a song lyric or hell, a sentence from the fic, anything at all. 'Working Title | Stiles POV All Human AU Stira Fic', even. Just. Anything. You can always change it later. Summaries an issue? Grab the first paragraph. Grab the first sentence. Put 'Stiles POV all human au, stira focus.' as the summary. Who cares? You. Can. Always. Change. It. Later.

That's the great thing about fic. Changing everything later is possible. Nothing here is permanent. If you aren't happy with something, that doesn't matter. So long as it's out there, you can get feedback (because often, we don't know why we aren't happy with something - outside help is always invaluable). Being scared of criticism is half the problem, for a lot of people... but - not to sugar coat - it's necessary. And, just to note, in my 10 years of fanfic writing, I have never, ever, gotten a single malicious comment. Not. Once. It's much rarer than people think it is. And even if you do, you can always delete it. Put comments on moderation, turn them off, if it's the main issue. Gather your confidence at your own pace - but don't forget feedback is necessary for improvement. Eventually you will need to accept it's going to happen - it's not an attack on you. It's an attempt at help. We're taught in school to consume media critically, and those who internalise that will comment constructively. English class can leave an impression - the worst thing is to take any of it personally. Having a negative mindset (they hate it) versus a positive mindset (they want me to improve at this thing I enjoy doing, they're trying to help, they're being supportive) can make all the difference.

Eventually, you'll need to turn those comments back on. But you don't need to take anyone's shit, hence why moderation is a thing. There is a difference between constructive criticism and hate - but it's rare you'll get the latter. Tone is hard to convey in text form; benefit of the doubt is the best way forward.

Make sure you've got friends/mutuals you can ramble with about your fics. it's genuinely the most helpful thing. Give them snippets, do the whole cheerleader routine for each other. It's great. Brainstorm with each other. Not necessarily doing collaborative fic (though you might find that's what works best for you!) but just, geeking out with each other. It makes a huge boost for your ego, and that's useful for your confidence when it comes to posting things. But also, if you trust them, it makes taking their advice easier.

Sometimes, it might feel like two steps forward and one step back. That's great! It's still a step forward. Go at your own pace. The worst thing you can do is rush yourself and burn out. If it takes you a year to update, it takes you a year. I assure you, the readers will still be there, and they'll be happy to see the update. Nobody's going to hate you for taking your time. Prioritise your health. I promise it makes your work better if you're in a good place, and you don't have too much on your plate.

Though, having said that, if you find you work best with about twenty wips all at once updated every week, then go for it! Like I said; your own pace. If a schedule helps you, have one. If it doesn't, don't. I don't have a schedule. I have about 40 wips posted, and a few that aren't yet. It can take me a year to update, or I'll do four in a week. People are pleased either way - what matters is that you wrote something, and it exists, and other people can read it. Isn't that awesome? You've made something. You've made a mark. Someone's happy because of you, because you wrote something they like. Who cares if there's twenty typos and you use the wrong you're* (*or equivalent in your language, ofc) - you can fix that later. And it didn't stop that person's enjoyment of the first fic you ever posted, which might not be as good as your future fics, but it's still special. It's still yours.

Prioritise the thing you want to prioritise. Plot, relationships (of any nature), whatever. Prioritise that. The rest will fall into place. Personally, I prioritise characterisation. interpersonal dynamics follow, part and parcel of character exploration, then plot, as an extension. Do what suits you. And people don't tend to mind very much about any of these. If characterisation matters to you not one whit, just put OOC in the tags and be done with it. Plot doesn't matter? Perfectly fine! You don't want to write ships? Nobody's forcing you. Do what you want. It's just fanfiction. That's kind of the point. There's no need to feel pressure to write a certain thing. I'm in a lot of fandoms with a lot of very large ships. I'd get a lot more readers if I wrote st*rek, or d*stiel, or whatever, but I don't, because I wouldn't enjoy it. Write what you want to see. What you want to read. That's the best advice I can give. If you cry at your own fic, perfect. If you laugh at your own fic, brilliant. If your own fic leaves you all giddy like, grinning wide, amazing. It's gonna give someone else that reaction, too.

Hits, kudos, comments - they're not everything. Ao3, for harry potter, has 5000 pages of fic, with some of the tags I don't like excluded. It's not a case of people not liking your fic - it's a case of people not finding it. Don't worry. Recognition will come with time. Also, the ratio for fics is kind of awful, anyway. Comments and kudos vs hits is always poor; 2%, 5%, 7%. Don't worry too much about it. If people read it, it's likely they liked it. A lot of people are just lazy, and don't press the kudos button. A lot of people are incredibly nervous, or don't know what to say, so they don't comment. Another thing; some of your fics are going to be more popular than others. This is normal. Fandom size, fandom activity, content of fic, tags - prevalence of fic type, etc etc. One of my fics has around 15k notes. the rest are all below 6k. the runner up is a whole 10k below that fic. This is to be expected, and it's nothing to tear your hair out about. Write, first and foremost, for yourself. The rest, as always, comes later.

Really, tldr; you can always fix it later. the rest comes later. recognition comes later. the best thing to do - the first thing to do, the only thing to do - is just start. Post something. Anything. And go from there however you wish.

In 2016 i had zero subscribers on Ao3. I've got 72 now. These things just take time. In 2016 i'd written 30k words. I've written 1.2 million now. These things just take time. Through fandom, mostly fanfiction, I've gained people I'd consider friends. I think it's a really cool endeavour, and I think - for your confidence, peace of mind, and social sphere - it's also a really positive one.

[winterstellium]

I want to give a big old shoutout to @winchesteralex/ @trenchchester for creating Song Remains the Same! You’ve put so much blood, sweat, and tears (So. Many. Tears.) into it and we (myself included) are thankful for gracing us with your wonderful characters.

And guess what? It’s Alex’s (and Sam’s, of course) Birthday today! Why not make it a special one with this wonderful birthchart!

Now, I'm not just gonna drop the chart, and be like " Okay, here you go! Now go figure it out" — No. I'm gonna do some explaining, and I'm warning you now, it's gonna be a long one. Get ready for some reading.

Before I type up the interpretation, I don't know how familiar you are with astrology, so here are the basics —

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Ya-cKkWmt4yx5u5Fpv1UnCGVmJHSh-FQMuhmDq2DxKM/edit?usp=sharing

I know that was a lot of information to learn all at once, but I do plan on breaking things down even more to get the large concept across.

Now, moving onto Alex’s Chart (which I pulled up from Astro-seek, as you see above).

Now, that may look very confusing. I’m here to help you break it down.

I’ll break it down like this:

(Planet)(degree)(Sign)(House) [unless there needs to be more explanation]

(Aspects)

Let’s go in order [all info is a combination of astro-seek, thedarkpixieastrology, and my own interpretation, unless stated otherwise ] —

[I’m going to stick everything else under a read-more bc this is gonna get long]

Anyways, Happy Birthday, Alex (and Sam)!!

— Things in bold make it easier to pinpoint specific sections of text.

Sun — 11° Taurus (10H) ∟Shy reserved/introverted, with a love for the simplicity and beauty of nature and life. Tends to keep their distance, even from friends, but it’s not to be rude, they just don’t have the ability to express their problems to others.

∟With the Sun in 10H, They are noble in their pursuits and want to be respected and recognized for their hard work. Some of the recognition they do receive could be that of shame, disgrace, and scandalous to the public eye, to others around them, and/or family members.

∟Aspects; ∟Trine Moon — They’re self and their emotions are in harmony.

∟Conjunct Mars — Their self aligns with their motivations, and can cause emotional tension at times due to large amounts of energy backing the individual. They also tend to have sudden energy losses from burning out too quickly.

∟Square Lilith — (from darkstartastrology) “creates incredibly strong-willed, feisty individuals who take it upon themselves to become spokespeople for the disadvantaged. Others may speak out about gritty, dark issues that are disturbing or distasteful to the public in some way. The square has so much tension that it is compelled to action. It simmers with unprocessed rage at being exiled and rejected. Together these edgy qualities will create activists, mesmerising agitators and trouble makers. They think nothing of taking the law into their own hands and have their own sense of honour and principles, which can sometimes effect their popularity. Always as tough on themselves as they are on others, they aim high and have intuition and great survival instincts to aid them in their leaps of faith.”

∟Parallel Chiron — (from Cafe Astrology) “With Chiron-Sun hard aspects, for example, we tend to feel ineffective when it comes to expressing our creativity. In youth especially, there is a shyness about performing, about “being seen”, about being allowed to shine. These are children who hide their work in school or in art class. Very often, they are “middle children”, and feel that their creativity was stifled in youth! People with these aspects often worry unnecessarily about their performance, and are often left feeling devastated when they are criticized. They are often very good at boosting others’ confidence, yet neglect to build their own! This is where the “teacher” side of Chiron comes into play. People with strong Chiron are often very good at inspiring others, giving them pep talks, offering very friendly and sincere advice, and so forth–yet they have a hard time healing themselves.”

Moon — 14° Capricorn (6H) (I personally have this placement, but it’s a degree/house away) ∟Stability through overwhelming events/emotions, but will find distractions to focus on and repress the emotions, not wanting to appear a burden or useless.

∟With the Moon in 6H, they put in the extra work to be useful, plowing through small tasks with ease, on the nose with everything, which makes them trustworthy and reliable. They might have some issues with sticking to one job, needing stimulation through their environment.

∟ Aspects; ∟Trine Mars —Emotions and actions are aligned, which can result is quick actions out of inspiration, and actions out of heightened emotional turmoil.

∟Opposite Asc (1H) —Instability of emotions and can be susceptible to being easily influenced.

∟Square MC (10H) —Unstable professional life, and professions/careers.

∟Contra-Parallel Venus —Confusion of their real feelings and emotions towards someone they love, has a hard time choosing their romantic partner, and may even have more than one person in love with them.

∟Contra-Parallel North Node — Emotional Safety and Affection they crave is opposing the need to be objective when in experiencing deep emotional communication.

Mercury — 25° Taurus (11H; Rx) ∟They are thorough and precise, often in contemplation and the need to provide evidence of their findings and opinions and are renowned experts in the field they have chosen to specialize in. They like to think deeply about things, they have good knowledge of things they are interested in and they enjoy the process of learning - as if it was some good food. When they learn something and understand it, they will probably never forget it.

∟With Mercury being in 11H, they attracted to innovative, original ideas and thinkers. They want people in their life who challenge conventional thinking and force them to think outside of their own box. They respect people who seem intellectually advanced and always looking towards the future and making plans for their future dreams, though the dreams may change frequently. They could have two separate, distinct dreams for their future. Friendships tend to be more casual and superficial, and they like people who are chatty, though they may not be very loyal. They can also be idealistic, and want people to treat each other well. ∟Aspects; ∟Conjunction Mars — The mind and motivation are in sync, and are enthusiastic and aggressive to communicate with others, especially in debate. They come in with plenty of “oofmph!” and heat in their thinking and actions.

∟Sextile Ascendant — There is an easy match of the Self and their thoughts. They have an easier time expressing who they are and how they perceive the world to other people.

∟Conjunction Chiron — (from Cafe Astrology) “With Chiron-Mercury aspects, we may rarely feel satisfied with how or what we communicate. To express ourselves, or not to express ourselves–that is the question with Chiron-Mercury hard aspects. We may talk someone’s ears off one day, and then feel guilty about it later, at which point we retreat into ourselves and become uncommunicative. We might review conversations we had with others and kick ourselves for what we said, or what we didn’t say.”

∟Contra-Parallel Jupiter — (from astro-seek) There is a habit of extreme thinking here. These people sometimes have doubts about their beliefs and they have difficulties to synchronise theories with practice. They are restless and they often move abroad.

∟Contra-Parallel Uranus — (from thedarkpixieastrology) “if you don’t have enough to occupy you mentally, you get bored out of your mind. You like to do things your own way, but sometimes it’s to your detriment. You like to challenge conventional thinking, but can take it too far. You don’t like the routine or mundane, and need to have things done in a different way. You can have a hard time concentrating on anything, and can have a temper, scattered mind, or nervousness.”

∟Contra-Parallel Neptune — (from thedarkpixieastrology) “your mind is all over the place, and it makes it difficult for you to concentrate. Your imagination is active and you have a good intuition, but reality is a chore. You want your life to be more fantastical than it actually is. You can see things that other people don’t. You need some mental discipline to help you focus.”

∟Parallel Ascendant — (from Astromatrix) “This placement makes you warm, friendly and very talkative. Any planets that are conjunct your Ascendant will influence your appearance and personality in a great deal. You are a good listener and curious about everything. You have a desire to learn as much as you can about the world, but you may have difficulty in being objective about what you learn, selecting only the information that is personally useful to you, or that fits in with your way of perceiving things. Tolerance of other peoples’ views, attitudes and different perspectives is one of the big challenges of this aspect. You might identify more with your intelligence or ability to make connections with others. You are at ease with almost anyone, and easily put others at ease. Always curious, you can pick up a lot from your immediate environment. You also revere knowledge and information, and have a keen interest in many intellectual topics.”

∟Contra-Parallel Lilith — (from astral-obscura on tumblr) “The native has little faith in their ability to accurately comprehend themselves, others, or society as a whole, and therefore may place monumental importance on other people’s opinions. They are easily stressed by having to explain themselves or their actions; judgement and criticism easily shut them down. They are quick to label their ideas or their interpersonal & communicative mannerisms as strange and unwanted, so they may choose to be quiet and reserved rather than put their mind on display. They have a very difficult time defending themselves or rationalizing their place in a group. They can’t use their logical mind to escape twisted social structures.”

Venus —22° Gemini (12H) ∟(from thedarkpixieastrology) “you need some variety in your relationships. If you feel like you’re tethered, you feel trapped. You want to keep things light, and avoid getting too serious in love. It’s all about having some fun for you. You can be a flirt, and especially when you’re young, date many people but none for long. What you want in a relationship can change with the wind, so you need someone who’s adaptable and can go with the flow. Change is a good thing for you in relationships, so someone who can keep you on your toes is good. You want love to be stimulating, and crave someone who will keep up with you in conversation and have many interests.”

∟With it being in 12H, this suggests secrecy and solitude. It points to the introspective aspect of character and the need to spend time alone. It creates socially withdrawn people who are a bit lonely and disappointed in their romantic relationships. They are very emotional but they can subconsciously control their emotions. This position usually creates a significant degree of compassion for oppressed people and all those who are in a bad position.

∟Aspects; ∟Trine Pluto — (from thedarkpixieastrology) “you can see right through people and situations. You know how to use resources well, and gravitate towards relationships that allow you to transform yourself. You’re passionate without being overwhelming, and know how to sway people to your side.”

∟Conjunction Node — The positive thing about this aspect is that these people are often pleasant, graceful, sexy and affectionate. They can appreciate beauty and they like art. They have a good taste. This harmonious connection forms the focal point of their life and it helps them achieve their goals. They have somewhat feminine radiating power that is very valuable and deserves to be acknowledged and developed.

The negative side of this aspect is that it can be difficult for these people to find inner peace because their love life is in constant conflict with the direction of their life. They can experience feelings of unfulfillment and they may have great need for affection that is very hard to satisfy.

∟Contra-Parallel Moon — (the darkpixieastrology) “you want peace in your life, and you’ll do what people want too easily to get it, and you don’t like them for it later. Your emotional needs and the needs of a relationship are often at odds, and you have to work at finding a balance between the two without giving up one for the other. You’re highly sensual, and can indulge in place of having love in your life. You can lack discipline and restraint, wanting to experience the pleasures of the world.”

Mars — 19° Taurus (11H) ∟(from darkpixieastrology) “you take your time with everything, and no one can get you to hurry. You don’t see the point in rushing anything, and feel that everything will happen in its own time. If that’s not fast, that’s fine with you. You can formulate goals and work hard at achieving them, and you’ll stick with them no matter what happens. You don’t give up easily once you’ve decided on what you want. You’re loyal, stable, and crave security in your life, and may buy a lot of nice things to surround yourself with items of value. You can be stubborn once you make up your mind, and there’s no convincing you to change your mind, even if deep down you know that you should. You do things in your own time, and won’t change for anyone.” ∟With it being in 11H, this suggests people who are trying to realize their ideals. They like to help other, less able people and they have an excellent ability to encourage others to do some charity work. They show initiative and they are good at organising things. They often get actively involved in strikes or other social unrest. Sometimes they can get into trouble even though they are very diligent and hardworking, because they are somewhat rebellious and independent.

Jupiter — 9° Sagittarius (5H; Rx) ∟(darkpixieastsrology) “you can lift people up with soaring rhetoric and inspirational speeches. Share what you’ve learned in life with others, and you’ll receive so much in return. You have strong beliefs, and should live a life that follow those beliefs. Just don’t be too self-centered. You need freedom and have an optimistic outlook.”

∟With it being in 5H, suggests the ability to go through life with the help of these people´s strong character. These people usually have a privileged position in life, and they find it quite natural. They live happily. However, Jupiter creates a desire to be engaged in an activity that helps others. This predisposes them for professions like a teacher, a politician or a priest. They can also become actors, singers, comedians or work in other professions. Jupiter in the fifth house usually also means a big family.

∟Aspects; ∟Trine MC (10H) — (astromatrix) “This aspect will be extremely useful, first by helping you find the right direction to take in your life. and second by enabling you to make others feel positive about you and eager to help if you need it. You are able to pursue your goals without making people feel that you will take something away from them. You have a strong sense of social responsibility, a feeling that you should give your life over to a purpose that is useful in the world. It isn't that you are totally selfish or self-sacrificing, but that nothing seems worth doing unless it is of use to others. You will always get along easily with authorities, and while you are young that usually means people who are older. You know that they have something to teach you, and you are willing to learn from them. You don't feel you have to show everyone how smart you are, even though you believe that you are rather special. You are willing to take your time and let the world find out how much you can do. You will always have a project to work on, because you hate to be idle, either in mind or in body. Usually you are busy with some consuming interest, which may mean more to you than being with others. You feel that you are self-sufficient, and that your activities are enough to give you a sense of fulfillment in life. You don't feel an urgent need to be with others all the time.”

∟Sextile Lilith — (from astral-obscura on tumblr) “The native’s mind is filled with grand philosophies of the truth about society and why stigmas & standards must be broken for spiritual growth. They find enlightenment through liberation; freedom is more important to them than anything else because it fulfills them in every way and allows them to expand their intellect. Likewise, they use their intellect to expand their freedom, as well as the freedom of others. They may become something of a social pioneer or modern guru, teaching about the detrimental nature of the status quo and encouraging others to go against the norm. They don’t believe in conformity. Their beliefs separate them from the majority.”

∟Contra-Parallel Mercury — (darkpixieastrology) “you can get lost in the big picture. You tend to have a hard time focusing on anything for long, dealing with your responsibilities, or thinking things through before you jump into anything. You can make grand plans that you never follow through on and talk too big, and it causes people to not believe you. You need to learn to rein yourself in mentally.”

∟Contra-Parallel Ascendant — (astromatrix) “With Jupiter in Opposition to your Natal Ascendant, you will feel the need to be more involved in one on one relationships, especially if Jupiter is placed in the 7th House. Relationships in general make you feel more happy and content, and is a realm for greater exploration and understanding. The descendant is a symbolic condensation point for what we don't identify with in ourselves and therefore project onto or seek out in others or through intimate relationships. You're very sociable, good-matured, optimistic, cooperative and helpful, attracting many benefits through partners and relationships. That being said, it is important to find your source of optimism and contentment within yourself. Your expectations of what others can provide will be unrealistic in the real world, since very few people actually live up to our fantasies of them. This will lead to many disappointments until you realise that what you are seeking in others is a part of yourself that you are denying, or for some reason are afraid to express.”

Saturn — 0° Scorpio (4H; Rx) ∟ (darkpixieastrology) “you work hard to have control over yourself. You may control yourself too well, and not know how to let yourself go. Transforming yourself may be a way for you to attain more power in your life. Your will is strong, but you try not to come across as intense as you may actually be.”

∟With it being in 4H, means great responsibility in home and family matters. These people support or discipline their family members. These people usually do not like changes and they have a real fear of the unknown and new things. They long for security, they try to be careful and secure themselves for old age. Their roots are important to them; they tend to remain in the past, but if they change their environment they are likely to reach.

∟Aspects; ∟Sextile Neptune — (darkpixieastrology) “if you can dream it, you can make it happen. You want to merge the mystical and spiritual with the physical, and make them something you can feel in the palm of your hand. No matter how much you may venture into your spirituality, you’re always grounded.”

∟Conjunction Pluto — (darkpixieastrology) “you have incredible self-discipline and a determined personality. Nothing can stand in your way once you set your mind to something, and you can become obsessive about your goals. You have learn to pull back a little and let yourself breathe and have some joy.”

∟Square Ascendant — The positive thing about this aspect is that these people are prudent and honest. The negative side of this aspect is that they can feel obstructions and difficulties in gaining popularity among people. They also get tired easily and they may suffer from frequent colds and attacks of rheumatism.

∟Trine Nodes — The positive thing about this aspect is that these people are focused on overcoming challenges in their life. They are consistent, aware of their responsibilities, and they walks tirelessly along their life path. They have high standards for themselves and they set ambitious goals. They are able to overcome their limits.

Uranus — 8° Sagittarius (5H; Rx) ∟(darkpixieastrology) “you’re an intuitive person and drawn to alternative beliefs. You want to help people, but you may not be reliable. You can be brutally honest at times, and don’t care if it gets you in trouble. You want to push through boundaries, are unconventional, and independent.” ∟With it being in 5H, brings turbulence and changes to the house of love, personal creativity and children. These people are usually inventive and creative, but they may suffer from a lack of discipline. They may be careless, ruthless or crazy, and their ideas may cost them dearly. They usually long for freedom and independence. These attitudes will be passed on to their children. These people need good governance since they are little otherwise they will get into trouble. Their usually not very conventional personal relationships are established quickly and they often end just as abruptly.

∟Aspects; ∟Conjunction Jupiter — (darkpixieastrology) “you may always feel like you have to do something new and break free right now. You hate being restricted and want to be as free as you can. You can deal with big projects easily, having a good ability to see the bigger picture. You could have good things happen for you unexpectedly.”

∟Trine MC (10H) — The positive thing about this aspect is that it gives people skilful and original behaviour that helps them achieve their goals.

∟Sextile Lilith — (astral-obsura on tumblr) “The native possesses very extreme views and opinions on society which others either love or hate them for. They often behave outrageously for the fun of it, and do or say things that may cause discord because gives them an electric, purposeful feeling. They disregard all social limitations and couldn’t care less about acceptance. They are the bona fide rebel. Nothing & no one can prevent them from being the person they want to be. Liberation runs in their blood. They don’t believe in any social order which hinders individual autonomy, and they have a desire to change society to make room for “the atypicals” like them. They use their freedom to free others.”

∟Contra-Parallel Mercury — (darkpixieastrology) “if you don’t have enough to occupy you mentally, you get bored out of your mind. You like to do things your own way, but sometimes it’s to your detriment. You like to challenge conventional thinking, but can take it too far. You don’t like the routine or mundane, and need to have things done in a different way. You can have a hard time concentrating on anything, and can have a temper, scattered mind, or nervousness.”

∟Parallel Neptune — (darkpixieastrology) “you want to change the world in a big way, and you take different approaches than everyone else. You dreams are unusual and you’re a creative person.”

∟Contra-Parallel Ascendant — The positive thing about this aspect is that it gives people skilful and original behaviour. The negative side of this aspect is that it gives people desire to surprise and shock others at any cost

Neptune — 28° Sagittarius (6H; Rx) ∟(darkpixieastrology) “you love a big idea, and you enjoy expanding your mind and world in some way. You can be attracted to unusual beliefs, fantasy, and science fiction. You search for one truth, but it can be hard to find. You need to recognize there are many answers.”

∟With it being in 6H, suggests a connection with the work environment, the need to provide services and also with health. These people may have the spiritual urge to help others. They may have illusions about their job and have somewhat grandiose attitude towards their job. They often have difficulties fulfilling their everyday duties and with small things. They are not good organizers and they are not very practical. They have to pay attention to their health.

∟Aspects; ∟Sextile Pluto — (darkpixieastrology) “you have an active imagination, and are an intuitive person. You can follow your dreams and make them real, and it happens more smoothly.”

∟Opposition Node — The positive thing about this aspect is that these people are sure of their decisions and this helps them overcome life challenges. Pure spirituality becomes the focus of their life.

The negative side of this aspect is that these people only have vague ideas about their focus and meaning of life or their sense for life direction is poor. They easily withdraw their focus from what is important, they are not persistent, or all their goals fall apart.

∟Contra-Parallel Mercury — (darkpixieastrology) “your mind is all over the place, and it makes it difficult for you to concentrate. Your imagination is active and you have a good intuition, but reality is a chore. You want your life to be more fantastical than it actually is. You can see things that other people don’t. You need some mental discipline to help you focus.”

∟Parallel Uranus — (darkpixieastrology) “you want to change the world in a big way, and you take different approaches than everyone else. You dreams are unusual and you’re a creative person.”

∟Contra-Parallel Ascendant — The positive thing about this aspect is that these people are intuitive and understanding. The negative side of this aspect is that they are impetuous and they find it hard to adapt to new situations. They should stay away from alcohol.

∟Parallel Lilith — (from tdjacobs) “show the inner conversation between the surrender function and the inner wild. Connecting to nature is a primary tool for each archetype and so people with these aspects need to get out and sit on rocks, hug trees, and have summits with various animals and other forms of wildlife. Much information that will help the person stay conscious of having and being in a body is available through such activities.”

Pluto — 27° Libra (4H; Rx) ∟(darkpixieastrology) Relationships are important to you, and you can transform yourself through them. You strive for balance, equality, and fairness, and hate discord. Compromise is the name of the game for you.

∟With it being in 4H, this creates tension at home. These people will have the tendency to be domineering towards their friends and relatives. In such a home environment there may be a struggle for power among family members. These people have a strong bond with their home or country. In some cases, they will be interested in science or jobs that deal with their country or the world.

∟Aspects; ∟Square Ascendant — The positive thing about this aspect is that it gives people independent, sometimes even extreme behaviour and the ability to physically and mentally regenerate. The negative thing about this aspect is that these people do not realise what impression they are making on others and they often cause themselves harm because of it.

∟Trine Nodes — The positive thing about this aspect is that it gives people great and fascinating energy that leads them to the focal point of their life. The experiences of power and powerlessness and the encounter with their own Shadow helps them overcome their life challenges and find their life path.

Nodes — 25° Gemini (12H)/25° Sagittarius (6H) ∟North Node in Gemini brings the conflict between seeking objectivity and lively communication on the one hand, and clinging to a highly subjective understanding, firmly anchored opinions and commands on the other.

These people need to learn how to express complex contexts and ideas in everyday language, how to convey spiritual thinking into practical life, transfer it in comprehensible form and show clearly the connection between the philosophical and noble knowledge and values of everyday life.

∟With them being in 12H and 6H — North Node in the twelfth house brings the conflict between transcendental effort and everyday reality, between chaos and order, and between spirituality and reason.

These people need to open up to their spirituality and imagination. They need to escape the constraints of the usual and explainable and be open to the unusual and  unexplainable. They need to go beyond the rational and analytical, develop imaginative powers and spiritual awareness. They should stop working so hard and find time for themselves. They should learn to make self-sacrifice and show love for other people. 

Beware of morbid obsession with order, cleanliness and rejection of everything that is not in perfect order or cannot be explained.

Lilith — 9° Aquarius (7H) ∟Freedom at all costs, even at the price of ridicule and emptiness. Lilith emphasises the principles of the Aquarius - freedom and autonomy. This easily causes problems in life because these people avoid strong and lasting connections. They do not experience their lives, they feel as if they see their life through a wall of glass because they are not able to experience their life emotionally. They do not trust themselves and they do not trust others. The way out is through the opposite sign, Leo - to open their heart, connect their mind with their heart and in this way gain the ability to experience life.

∟With it being in 7H, there’s a tendency to reject relationships with others if the individual cannot play the role of initiator.

Chiron —26° Taurus (11H) ∟ Unhealable wound of these people may be the result of the fact that other people, their parents, teachers, colleagues, superiors etc. have been constantly belittling them, although they have had no reason to do so. It is as if they have always been lacking something and therefore cannot be regarded as full-fledged. Revolutionary social events could deprive them of property that has been in the family for generations. These people cannot seem to manage to create their own privacy. It's as if something prevents them from enjoying the little that they have. Even the accumulation of property and various rewards and prices can not heal this injury.

∟With it being in 11H, this showcases trauma caused by inability to implement Utopian visions, the impossibility of carrying out reforms in society and building the ideal society. Disappointment in friends that often does not cease to hurt even in old age, and from time to time this wound reopens. These people have been trying to be independent all their life but it is as if something is stopping them from realising this dream.

This took a lot of time to find all the information.

I hope this has been enlightening for you, River! I wanted this to be posted at 11:11am (EST), but it didn’t quite work out like I wanted it to. ^^; oh well!

[jksmoongf]

Kissing Fire [pt. 3]

Pairing: Jungkook x reader x girlfriend (oc) Genre: cheater!au, angst, smut (maybe a tiny bit of fluff) Wordcount: 6.6k Summary: It always feels like there is only one person in the world to love. And then you find somebody else.

a/n: I don’t condone cheating on your s.o., so please don’t read if you have a problem with this! (also I’m not saying this is something Jungkook would actually do!) Warning: smut, lies, heartbreak and more lies (it’s gonna be one angsty mess) **a/n** I’m sorry it took me so long to update. I had a writer's block but this is longer than my usual chapters to make up for it. I have to thank @jaxonah for constantly kicking my butt & making me write bc this chapter wouldn’t exist if she didn’t bug me all the time. love you bby angel. 💋 Warning Chapter 3: smut (plain old vaginal sex, unprotected of course! Please use protection, angels!), jealous!jk

He could feel the mattress shift next to him, slowly forcing him out of his deep slumber. It felt like he had only closed his eyes a few minutes ago. Jungkook opened his eyes a tiny bit, watching as his girlfriend climbed out of the shared bed. Still unsure of how to approach her after last night's events, he decided it would be for the best if he just pretended to still be fast asleep. The door to his room opened and she quietly tiptoed to the bathroom. He rolled onto his back; keeping his eyes shut tightly; the feeling of guilt flooding his mind again. He fucked up by treating her badly. He was painfully aware of that, but it felt so wrong to touch her, sleep with her and make her believe he was still feeling the same way he did months ago. 

Surely, he still loved her in some way or maybe, maybe he just cared enough about her to not want to hurt her intentionally but his heart and soul were set on someone else; someone who made love feel easy, special and exciting and not like a chore.  He missed her terribly; time spent apart was almost too much to handle for him. It was like she had put a spell on him, making him fall in love so deeply that he couldn’t get out no matter how hard he tried. He felt a smile tugging on his lips; he just couldn’t help but feel happy when he thought about her. The way she said his name, still made him feel all giddy inside just like that one time his parents had taken him and his brother to a fair and he got to eat all the snacks and ride the carousel until he felt dizzy.  The door opened and he listened to Yina shuffle around his room, getting dressed and packing up her things. In the past, he had watched her, admiring her beauty and hoping to steal another kiss before she left but now he was counting down the seconds until she was gone, hoping he wouldn’t have to endure her presence for a while. For a moment it was silent and he could feel her eyes resting on his body. He didn’t dare to move, scared he would indicate to her that he was awake. She let out a sigh before leaving his room and closing the door behind her. He stayed still, listening to her footsteps echoing down the hallway on the expensive hardwood floors.  Just to make sure she was really gone he peeked through his eyelashes; his room was still dark but he was alone, at last.  With lightning speed he reached for his phone, desperately tapping the home button only to find that he had no new message from her. It was just past seven in the morning and he knew she would still be asleep but his heart yearned for a simple text. 

An unknown hand was softly caressing Jungkook’s cheek and his eyes fluttered open, only to look at Hoseok in disappointment. “Good morning Sleeping Beauty, breakfast is ready.” He laughed, pulling the duvet off of the younger boy. Jungkook curled up, shaking his head. “Come on, the others are waiting for you.”  “But I don’t wanna get up..” He nuzzled his face into the soft pillow, wanting to get five more minutes of sleep.  “Move it.” Hoseok started poking his face, making his silly little noises. “Come on, you don’t want your cereal to get soggy.” 

With a groan Jungkook let his older brother pull him to his feet, slowly waddling after him to the kitchen. He took his usual place at the big kitchen table and sleepily stared into the empty ceramic bowl in front of him. Ha-na and Tae were already in a chipper mood, talking about all sorts of things. “So, do you want to order takeout or shall I cook?”  “Let’s just order something. It’ll be easier and you don’t have to worry about getting everything ready.” Tae said before shoving a piece of toast in his mouth. It was odd to not see him with his headphones in, watching an anime while eating his breakfast, waiting for his body to wake up. Maybe Ha-na did make things better for Tae, he seemed a lot happier since she was around, even in the mornings. Jungkook had always had a difficult time waking up, it took him a lot longer than most people but he wondered if it would all change if y/n was around every day.  “You’re so right. God, I’m so excited.” She clapped her hands together and pressed a kiss to her boyfriend’s cheek.  “Coffee…” Jungkook muttered, his eyes glued to the coffee machine on the counter; hoping he’d find it in himself to get his body to move from the chair in the foreseeable future.  “Take mine, I’ll make a new one.” Hoseok placed a big mug in front of him and ruffled his hair. He hated to admit it, being 21 years old, but sometimes he enjoyed when his older brothers babied him, making sure he had everything he needed - even the little things like coffee and a bowl full of his favorite cereal. Greedily he grabbed the mug with both hands, ready to chug down the hot milky brown liquid.  “What do you have planned today that you’re so excited about?” Jin inquired, putting his phone down on the table.  “We are playing cupid today.” Ha-na smiled. “So we need all of you to either go out or stay in your rooms so we can have the living room to ourselves.” 

Jungkook had not been paying much attention to the conversation the others were having, too busy devouring his cereal until her name was brought up. Trying not to look suspicious, he pricked up his ears.  “We’re planning on setting up y/n with one of Tae’s friends from Hwarang.”  He almost choked on the spoon full of cereal in his mouth. “What?”  “Oh look, who’s finally awake.” The others laughed at his shocked reaction. Trying to play it cool, he leaned back in his chair; pushing his hair from his forehead. “I’m pretty sure, y/n can get a date on her own without your help.”  “I’m sure she can, but Tae and I think she would be really cute with Hyungsik.”  “Hyungsik…” Jungkook repeated under his breath; jealousy beginning to stir up in the pit of his stomach. How was he going to compete against someone like him? Everybody seemingly adored that guy. “You can’t set her up with him…” He said; biting down on his tongue as soon as the words left his mouth, mentally slapping himself. He had to be careful; letting his jealousy surface would be a dead giveaway that he was not just y/n’s friend. 

“And why not?” Ha-na seemed awfully intrigued by his comment; propping her elbow up on the table to rest her chin on her hand. “He’s very good looking, he is funny and really nice and he’s a great actor. The whole package if you ask me and if they do hit it off, Tae and I finally have another couple to go on dates with. It’s a win-win situation and everyone will be happy.” 

Ignoring her completely to avoid telling her that it would make him miserable, Jungkook looked at Tae. “Do you really think y/n wants you to do that?”  But Taehyung just shrugged him off. “I don’t know but Ha-na is right, they would be cute together. Hyungsik is amazing and I know y/n liked the dramas he was in, so it won’t hurt to try, you know?”  “He’s not even that great of an actor.” Jungkook groaned in annoyance.  “That’s not what you said when you watched Strong Girl with me every week…” Tae trailed off, making everyone laugh. “What’s your problem?”  “I don’t have one, I just think you shouldn’t be forcing your best friend to go on dates just so you and your girlfriend can go on double dates. That’s so selfish.” “Wow, okay calm down Kook.” Ha-na looked him in the eyes. “It’s just a first date so they can get to know each other and maybe they’ll fall in love and get married and have babies.” 

He knew that she was just teasing him to annoy him even more but he felt a sting in his heart that he couldn’t explain. Yes, none of this was true but deep down he was scared that he might lose her to someone with whom she didn’t have to hide her relationship with in front of her friends. Was she really so in love with him that she wouldn’t replace him with someone like Hyungsik? It wasn’t hard to picture her holding hands with him while walking down the street, being happy and in love. Jungkook hated his vivid imagination for fueling his jealousy and anger, not only toward his girlfriend but also towards a guy he had never even met. 

“I bet you jinxed it and he won’t like her, I mean who would, right?”  “Did you really just say that?” Tae’s eyes were nothing but mere slits now, his nose slightly scrunched up in contempt about the snide remark.  “I was joking…maybe she’s not his type. I always thought y/n was more of an acquired taste, you know? She’s a little odd.”  “If she’s so odd, care to explain why you keep helping her with editing and taking pictures?” Ha-na was giving him the side-eye as if she had just caught him in the act of lying through his teeth.  “She’s still my friend but that’s not the point.”  “And what is the point, JK?” Hobi chimed in, who had been following this conversation silently, which was very unlike him.  “Ugh never mind, none of you would get it.” He pushed his chair back. “I’m going to my room.”  “Don’t forget to stay there until their date is over tonight.” Her voice echoed in his head as he stomped down the hall. Ha-na had always teased him like an older sister would but she never went too far until now. He could feel his hands shaking with anger; no one was going to steal the girl he truly loved… no one. 

*

She stood in the lobby of the apartment complex, waiting for the elevator when her phone vibrated in her pocket. She had just arrived at the dorms, after meeting Taehyung and Ha-na in Dongmyo for a coffee, while they were out shopping for vintage clothes. 

[Taehyungie - 3:43 pm] Ha-na has laid out a dress for you to wear on my bed. If your bra needs some extra padding there’s some in the bottom drawer on her side of the closet. She said that you have to make the girls look good 🙈😶 her makeup bag is on my desk if you need anything ☺️

Rolling her eyes, she stepped into the marble tiled elevator, looking at herself in the full-length mirrors that covered all three walls. Yes, her outfit was simple today - skinny jeans, an oversized sweater, and a denim jacket but this morning when she got dressed she hadn’t known she was going on a date otherwise she would’ve put more effort into how she looked. Jungkook on the other hand really didn’t care much for the clothes she wore; by all means, she could be wearing a trash bag because he would undress her eventually anyway.

“Jungkook…” She whispered and her body tensed up. How would he react if he found out that she was going on a blind date? She loved him with every fiber of her body and hurting his feelings was the last thing she wanted to do but she had no choice. Not wanting Tae or Ha-na to be disappointed in her when they had planned this evening and both seemed really excited at the idea of her finally having a boyfriend. 

After entering the passcode to the apartment, she quietly swung the door open but was met with nothing but silence. Coming here early and unannounced wasn’t the best idea, maybe he had gone to his studio to work on some music or videos.  She kicked off her shoes in the entryway and made her way to Taehyung’s room where she found a burgundy-colored dress on the bed. Carefully she picked it up to get a closer look - it was a pretty dress although it wasn’t her style. Quickly she changed into it, eyeing herself in the mirror. It was quite tight, accentuating the natural curve of her body, not leaving any room for imagination of what was hiding underneath. The high neckline was connected to the rest of the dress by a strap of fabric going through the middle, letting the two cutouts reveal the mounds of her breasts. It wasn’t out of her comfort zone to show off her assets but maybe it was a little much for a date she didn’t want to go on. Both of her hands cupped her breasts, pushing them up even higher; knowing that it would drive Jungkook crazy to see her like this; his eyes glued to her chest at all times. She made a mental note to wear something similar if they ever went on a date in the future.  She wasn’t trying to woo the mystery guy so she decided against extra padding since her bra was pushing everything up to where it should be anyway. Not wanting to bestow Ha-na’s wrath on her, she touched up her makeup and used her straightener to give her hair a soft wavy texture. She had to at least pretend like she was trying to look good for tonight.

*

Jungkook pushed his chair back, resting his back against the soft cushioning, mindlessly picking at the little hairs on his cheek. It was hard to focus when all he could think of was y/n going on a date with Hyungsik. His eyes darted to the screen of his computer, focusing on what he had typed into the search bar on Naver. How to sabotage a date.. but he couldn’t bring himself to hit enter. He knew it was childish to try to ruin their night but he didn’t want to go down without a fight. Maybe he should trust her but it wasn’t easy when he had such a hard time trusting himself. He was scared shitless beyond belief; what if she actually liked him? Jealousy had always gnawed at him when Taehyung had been hanging out with his actor friends in the past, in fear of losing him too but back then he had known that he would never lose one of his best friends to those guys. It had even been fun to tease his older brother along with the other members but this time… it was different. There was a chance that she would break things off with him to be with someone better, someone who could give her everything and maybe show her off to his friends and family. Then again, it wasn’t like her to just get up and leave; she was still here every day, telling him she loved him although he had yet to break up with Yina.

Jungkook would never dare to say this out loud, let alone to her face but a part of him knew that they were destined to be together and maybe this date was just another test the universe was throwing at them. He did not believe in much these days, hardships hitting him left and right but one thing he was certain of and nothing could shatter the part inside him that believed in true love, and he was going to hold onto that thin thread that could rip apart at any moment. 

It was time to stock up on snacks for the night if he wasn’t allowed to leave his room for hours. He was cursing himself for not going out with Jin and Jimin for the day; it would have been much easier to ignore all the things he did not want to think about but a little part of him wanted to be here. His heart was playing a sadistic trick on him, making him believe that just his mere presence in the apartment would stop her from falling for another man. 

He got up from his chair and left his room, but as soon as he entered the hallway he stood still, holding his breath. His eyes were wide as he looked at his favorite person in the world leaving Tae’s room. 

“Oh, Kookie..” A smile spread across her face, as she made her way over to him. She was insufferably close, her perfume hitting his nose and clouding his mind; blurring out the hurt and anger stirring up like a hurricane in his chest. He didn’t want to kiss her when she looked breathtakingly beautiful for someone else but he was weak. Jungkook just couldn’t resist as the lips he was craving softly pressed on his. 

For a split second, he let himself get lost in the kiss, his hands taking their usual spot on her hips - wanting to pull her close and just hold her tight.  But he had to be strong; so he pulled away extending the distance between them again.  “So you’re going on that date then…” He said, gesturing towards her body - not needing any verbal confirmation other than the dress she was wearing.  “Yeah, I didn’t want Tae and Ha-na to get suspicious.” 

He scrunched up his nose and furrowed his brows. “Oh, like they would assume anything just because you said no to a blind date.”  She crossed her arms in front of her chest, making her breasts look even more prominent and he caught himself staring at the soft flesh he loved so much. “Y-you can’t wear that!”  “And why not?”  “Because he’ll look at you like you’re a piece of meat and…” He paused, unsure of whether it was a bad move to say what he was thinking. “Well, not all guys think with their dicks.” She said rolling her eyes. “If that’s what you’re worried about and we won’t be alone, so..” Her voice trailed off. 

Jungkook swallowed the lump that was beginning to form in his throat. She really didn’t seem to care much about his feelings. Why was it so easy for her to disregard the simple fact that it would hurt him? He would never do that to her; he loved her too much. “Cancel the date…please?” The last word was so quiet that she couldn’t hear it. Was he really going to beg as a last resort? 

“I can't, I have to go. Tae and Ha-na set it all up already.” He wasn’t sure but her eyes looked wet like she was going to burst into tears at any second. She turned around to walk back to Tae’s room but his hand quickly reached for her wrist. “Don’t go! You’re mine!” His voice was now firmer and louder than before.  “These words would be a WHISPER if Yina was here.” 

She looked at him; eyes not swimming in tears anymore. Why was he being a jerk about this? He knew that she had no choice, although they were the ones who constructed this mess in the first place. She opened her mouth to give him a piece of her mind, when he suddenly grabbed her other arm, closing the distance between them and making her walk backward until she was trapped between him and the wall. Jungkook’s body was radiating with heated anger, yet his face remained expressionless. His right hand let go of her wrist, only to firmly grab her chin, forcing her to look up at him. Lips greedily attacking hers; teeth grazing over her bottom lip before sucking it in-between his.  A hand was tangled in her hair, as the other found its way underneath the dress. He wasn’t wasting time; his fingers eagerly massaging the little bud over her panties, making her moan into his mouth. He could feel her arousal dampening the fabric quickly; over the past months, he had learned a lot about her body and what got her going that there was no trace left of the shy, unsure boy he once was, now being able to take full advantage of his knowledge. 

Her tongue was fighting a long lost battle against his; she was like putty in his hands, even now when he was angry and just having his way with her. Jungkook’s movements were quick, they could get caught any minute. He broke the kiss and swiftly turned her around to face the wall; skillfully he rolled her panties down with one hand while lifting her dress up with the other. Eyes resting on her behind, fighting the urge to slap it and leaving his handprint as evidence that she belonged to him. “So pretty…” He mumbled, running his fingers over the soft round flesh. “What is?” She asked, her voice breathy and unstable. “You.” He could see the smile tugging at her lips. 

Usually, he’d give himself more time, to taste and treasure her but he had to be quick. He shoved his black sweat pants down his thighs, setting his almost fully erect member free, before hastily stroking it until he was fully hard. He grabbed her hips to adjust her position, arching her back for easy access. 

With one hand still resting on the small of her back, he wrapped the other around the base of his throbbing dick, rubbing it back and forth between the wet folds, not able to resist the inviting warmth any longer; watching as the tip painfully slow disappeared inside her. She gasped at the somewhat unexpected intrusion, almost immediately followed by a moan through gritted teeth. 

He pulled out, only to thrust back in with full force; no intention of giving her much time to adjust. His fingers were digging into her skin, his teeth buried in his bottom lip; too lost and focused on thrusting in and out. 

Skin slapping on skin echoed from the walls of the hallway, mixed with her needy moans begging him to go faster and harder. His hand once again, tangled in her hair, pulling her upper body closer to his so he could lick and suck on the delicate skin of her neck. 

“Jungkook..baby..please…” She breathed her hand between her legs, rubbing her clit to help her chase down her orgasm. Roughly he swatted her hand away, replacing her fingers with his own, coating them in her sweet sticky juices. 

He could feel her starting to clench around his dick; normally he would hold back, waiting for her to finish first but not today. He picked up the pacing of his thrusts, his fingers mimicking the speed perfectly as he rubbed small circles around the swollen bead, skillfully avoiding the point that would push her over the edge. 

His breath hitched and got caught in his throat. “Fuck.” He whined as he released hot streams of cum inside of her; her walls convulsing around his dick, milking every last drop. This time, he pressed a gentle kiss on the exposed part of her shoulder before pulling out. “But baby, I didn’t finish.” Not once had her voice sounded so needy and whiny until now and it boosted his confidence in his decision. 

“Have fun on your date…��� He said, while quickly pulling up her panties to make sure no cum was dripping out of her. “…with me inside of you.” He whispered against her ear, as she slowly turned around to face him, an expression of disbelief painted all over her features.  

Nonchalantly he pulled up his sweats and fixed his hair in the reflection of the picture on the wall. Her hair was a mess, the lipstick was blotchy and her cheeks were flushed. His eyes wandered to her legs, resting on her thighs which were tightly pressed together. He fully believed in his irrational plan, relying simply on the fact that she had always been the more adventurous one in their relationship, contrary to him who had always liked to play it safe until he met her.  Faintly he could hear voices outside the apartment and with a smirk he walked into the kitchen to grab some snacks like he had originally intended, leaving her behind all hot and bothered. 

He was rummaging through the cupboards when he heard Ha-na’s voice from the hallway.  “Oh my god! What did you do? We have to fix this! He will be here in 30 minutes. Tae, order some food and get the boardgames ready while I go fix y/n’s hair and makeup for her future hubby.” 

He heard Taehyung mumbling a reply followed by shuffling noises in the other room.  “Hyung, do you need some help?” Jungkook asked as he casually strolled into the living room, stuffing a handful of chocolate balls into his mouth.  “Yes, can you please wipe down the table and straighten out the pillows? So I can order food! Ha-na wants everything to be perfect.”  “Aye aye, sir.” Jungkook saluted him and clicked his heels. “Your girlfriend always gets what she wants, doesn’t she?” He mumbled underneath his breath as he grabbed the spray bottle and an old rag from the table. He really needed to watch what he was saying not wanting to stir up an argument with his friend. 

“What did you say?”  “Uh, nothing.” Jungkook quickly wiped down the wooden surface of the table and started straightening out the cushions on the couch. “Hyung, where’s y/n gonna sit?”  “I don’t know? Probably next to Hyungsik, I suppose.”  He rolled his eyes. “Of course she will but maybe you want to put a towel down.”  “Why would I do that?” The older one sounded confused as he looked up from his phone where he had been studying the menu of a restaurant. 

‘Oh because I just fucked her and came inside her so there might be cum stains on the couch by the end of the night.’, he thought to himself but he opted for a snide remark. “Oh you know, she might pee herself in excitement when she meets your oh-so-amazing actor buddy.” 

The sarcastic tone in Jungkook’s voice didn’t go unnoticed and Taehyung raised his eyebrows.  “What’s gotten into you? You’ve been acting strange all day.”  “I just still think it’s a dumb idea…” He turned around, grabbed the bag of chocolate balls from the smaller side table and walked back towards the kitchen. “…but you always do what your girlfriend tells you to do..” He quietly muttered as he grabbed the rest of his snacks so Tae wouldn’t hear him through the rustling of the bags. He was already counting down the minutes until this dreadful day was finally over, hoping that it would not end badly. 

* “Y/n can you help me with the dishes?” Tae stood up, collecting the plates. “Sure.” She nodded, giving Hyungsik a small smile before picking up the glasses and empty takeout boxes, dropping a fork in the process. Hyungsik handed it to her. “Do you need some help?” His smile was gorgeous - much better in person than on tv and it made her knees feel wobbly and her cheeks flush. “Oh no it’s fine, I got it.” Quickly she rushed after her best friend to the kitchen, plopping the containers down on the island, while he was rinsing off the plates. “Y/n…” He began, lowering his voice to make sure the other two wouldn’t hear him. “Why are you so quiet? That’s really unlike you.” She froze, as she tried to stuff the boxes into the designated trash can. “What do you mean? I’m not quiet at all.” “Yes, you are. You have hardly said anything to Hyungsik, it’s like you’re not even trying to get to know him. He’s really nice and funny but you’re just talking to me if you say anything at all.” Lowering her head, she tried hard to come up with a realistic lie that would satisfy Tae and avoid further questions she was ready to answer. But it wasn’t easy to pretend to enjoy being on a date when the boy she loved was in another room, probably upset and the remains of their little endeavor sticking her panties uncomfortably to her skin. “I…I don’t know.. Tae he’s famous, it’s kinda weird.” “I’m famous too…” He shrugged. “And you don’t have a problem with that.” She giggled. “To me, you’re not. I was with you when you peed your pants on our way home from school in first grade.” “I told you not to mention that, ever. Also, it was your fault for making me laugh.” He nudged her shoulder with a boxy smile on his face. “You don’t have to be shy around Hyungsik, he’s just a normal guy - like me.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Yeah right, a normal guy I see on tv all the time.” She paused, taking in her best friend's profile as he bent down to place the dishes in the dishwasher. “I just can’t help it when I get shy…I’m sorry” “Don’t be sorry! I just want you to give him a real chance, okay? He would be good for you.” The sincerity in Taehyung’s eyes and voice made her feel guilty. He had put so much thought into choosing a suitable guy for her, and Ha-na had planned the date to perfection but she just couldn’t give them what they wanted. There was no connection, no spark..nothing. It was different with Jungkook; they connected on a deeper level and there was no way of denying the chemistry between them. Trying to stay away from him was the hardest thing she ever had to do and one day they both caved in - a memory she would always treasure, feeling his lips for the first time, tasting his tongue. “Just try to come out of your shell next time.” Tae said as they were walking back into the living room where Ha-na and Hyungsik had cleaned up the table. “I should get going now, I have to be on set quite early tomorrow.” “Aw, already?” Ha-na seemed more upset than the rest of them, still hoping the date would take a turn for the better if he just stayed a little longer. “Yeah, I’m sorry but I had a lot of fun.” They walked him to the door, where he hugged Tae and Ha-na. “It was really nice to meet you.” He said to her, as she carefully held out her hand to shake his. “It would be kinda awkward to shake your hand, after hugging these two.” He nodded his head to the left where the other two were standing, pretending not to observe their every move.  “A little, yeah.” She let him pull her into a quick hug. “I had a really good time.”  “Me too.” He winked at her before turning to leave.  It took a weight off her mind, which she didn’t know existed once the door closed behind him. Successfully she had avoided awakening any romantic feelings on his side, subconsciously sabotaging the date herself. She had been quiet for a reason with Jungkook occupying her every thought.  When Ha-na and Tae were getting ready to leave to spend the night at her apartment for some much needed alone time, she knew that this was one of the rare moments where she wouldn’t have to sneak into his room. Lying to them was expectedly easy, telling them not to wait for her as she wanted to change and take the makeup off before she went home; knowing her brother wouldn’t approve of this dress under any circumstance. 

Quickly she changed into her clothes before carefully opening Jungkook’s door without knocking. He was lying on his bed, staring at the wall where his projector played a foreign horror movie. “Hey.” “Oh, you’re still here? Hyungsik is not giving you a ride home?” He mumbled, trying to keep his voice casual as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. “He has to be on set early tomorrow..” She closed the door behind her, not wanting to risk the other boys waking up. “Right, well you have work tomorrow too, so maybe you should go home as well.” She was eyeing him, as he kept his face directed towards the movie in a stone-cold expression. “I thought we could talk or spend some time together?” 

Out of the blue he looked at her as he sat up on his bed, narrowing his big eyes to slits. “You want to talk? About what exactly? Oh, I know maybe about how you didn’t even care that it would hurt me that you were on a date just meters away from me while I’m stuck in my room thinking about all the things he’s saying to you?” “Why are you giving me shit for this? You leave me alone to be with her all the time and you seemingly don’t care that it makes me feel horrible knowing that she’s touching and kissing you…” Baffled by the bluntness of her words he started chewing on the inside of his cheek; she was right - he was a condescending asshole. Always disregarding how badly it was making her feel that he had to spend time with another girl, but he was too shy and maybe a part of him was too proud to admit that his actions were hurting him just as much as they were hurting her. “You know, I have no choice..” “Neither did I…” An awkward silence seemed to lull both of them in a tight blanket while a guy was fighting for his life against a murderer. “Are you staying?” She nodded. “Then don’t just stand there, weirdo.” He leaned back into the soft pillows as she sat down her bag and took off her denim jacket. The air in the room felt tense, filled with too many things that were left unsaid but there was no use in arguing when they barely even got the chance to spend a night together. As she undressed, she felt his eyes on her body but it was different this time. He wasn’t going to attack her and devour her like a starved animal like he did in the afternoon. She loosely buttoned up his favorite shirt and looked at him, his gaze quickly darting back to the movie. “You know it’s rude to watch a girl undress.” “It would be if you weren’t my girl.”  She chuckled lying down next to him when he immediately rolled over to rest his head on her chest. Slowly she ran her fingers through his dark locks, letting her nails gently scratch over his scalp, eliciting a sigh from his lips. Maybe all he needed to be okay was to be close to her, to feel the warmth of her body against his skin. The soft squishiness of her boobs instantly relieving the pressure he had felt poking and prodding at his brain at all times for the past hours. The insecurities that had kept his mind on edge during the day were still all too present in the far back but how could he be mad at her now that she came to him even after a date with one of the most popular guys in the country. She came back to him; maybe she did love him as much as he loved her after all. 

He nestled his face into the curve of her boob, inhaling the all too familiar sweet scent of her skin, feeling his eyes tear up. No other girl could ever compare to her - his living addiction.  “You know…” She said quietly after a while. “I wished it was you the whole time..” 

Jungkook lifted his head up from her chest, his eyes were unusually glossy in the dim lighting. Only seconds later he was towering above her, noses touching as he shakily inhaled before pressing his lips onto hers. Her hand pushed his hair from his face, while her other arm lazily wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer. As he closed his eyes silent tears of relief fell, dabbling onto her cheeks - one or two leaving a salty taste on their lips. A part of him had known that she wouldn’t leave him but once the fear took over his mind it was all he could think about - but his heart now felt lighter after just hearing those simple words from her. Both of her hands gently cupped his cheeks, thumbs wiping away fresh tears still spilling from his eyes as their lips slowly moved in a familiar way that only they knew. She pulled away, her eyes diving into his before he felt her soft lips kissing his cheeks, erasing the last salty remains. “I was scared you’d leave me…” He whispered in between kisses along her jawline and down her neck. Shaking her head no, she bit down on her lip as he sucked on the sweet spot right below her earlobe. “I only want you…” Jungkook smiled against her skin, the tip of his nose tickling her. “I know that now…you didn’t run off with the country’s prince charming…” She put her finger to his lips to silence him. “Why would I? You’re so much better.” His mouth curved into a smile then pressing a short peck against her finger. Jungkook buried his face into the curve of her neck, enjoying the circles her nails drew on his bare shoulders. Her body pressed against his was like balm for his soul. Gently he started pressing small, light kisses against her collarbone. He wanted the world to know; he wanted to climb on top of the highest building in the city and scream that he was in love with her from the top of his lungs. But the thought of others finding out scared him to death. The little bubble they were in was comfortable; no one was going to judge him for falling in love head over heels with someone else if it was kept a secret a little longer. If only he could stay with her like that forever, cooped up in his room, arms wrapped tightly around her. Feeling her chest rise and fall underneath his arm, the faint smell of lilies from her hair made him feel drowsy. Everything was perfect right at this moment. “I love you.” She whispered, her voice drugged with sleep - threatening to drift off at any second. “I love you…” He mumbled, lips ghosting over the small exposed part of her neck. She pulled his arm up a little, so it was resting right under her boobs, lacing her fingers with his as if to make sure this wasn’t just a dream. He felt the vibration of her phone on the mattress and groaned when she slowly reached for it. “No y/n, don’t.” “What if it’s someone from work?” He pressed his eyes shut tightly as the light of the screen illuminated her face. Without warning, she sat up; now seemingly wide awake when he heard her curse under her breath. His arm was lazily resting on top of her thighs; he was too sleepy to move. “Jungkook…” He hummed in response, trying hard to stay on the verge of falling asleep. “You have to look at this… we’re so screwed.” He could sense panic rising up in her voice when he finally opened his eyes to read the text. [Ha-na - 12:55am] I know your secret…

[br0adwa5]

deh apartment hcs

so i was just scrolling thru Tumblr Dot Com™ and I saw a post that said “does anyone else ever daydream of decorating their first apartment?” (if anyone knows who made that lmk) but anyway i saw that and was like omg if that ain’t alana and then i was like wAIT WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF THEM so here’s this. fyi this is like a college au type thing ish??

(im sotired this is kinda shitty lol)

(also thank u so much for the luv on my last two hcs? i cr ied? les get to the point sorry)

alana:

ok so this girl would obviously have the neatest apartment ever

it would probably be like a medium size ya know

white walls.

lots of white walls.

and there would be like really pretty marble countertops 

her beadspread (or whateverthefuck u call it) would probably be like grey with white little lines on it

in a pattern tho

like a cute pottery barn one

OH

she would so freaking use evan’s discount at pottery barn are u kidding me

like her entire house would look like a pottery barn catalog

anyway

idk if all apartments have this so excuse me if i sound mega stupif 

but she would use the little intercom-buzzer thing to get into the apartment to her full advantage

like if u wanted to even go up there she would legit do a full on background check

(except for zoe)

(zoe would be like “hey alana it’s-” and alana would be like “yOU CAN COME RIGHT UP”

but it would be like 

“hello who is this?”

“alana you know it’s jared. i just texted you.”

“… ok then what’s your middle name”

“aLANA”

but anyway back to what inspired this in the first place

so alana would SO plan her apartment out from when she was like young enough to understand it ya get it

like she would pick out furniture at age six

(her taste would obviously change as she got older but u get it)

and she would literally have it down to the p a i n t color

like she would walk into home depot or whatever and the worker would expect her to look around for like 40 minutes but she’d be like

“hi hello i’ll take seashell grey in the gloss finish please. make it quick.”

(i totally just made that up what the hell is a gloss finish never heard of her)

i also picture her having lots of house plants? like most of them would be fake bc she’s too busy to keep them alive but they wouldn’t look fake

yeah alana’s apartmetnt would be so put together and like clean cut and nice

zoe:

her apartment would be rad okay

i feel like it would be v hipster and cool

not like Hipster™ but like… hipster?

what am i even saying

okay

so she would definetley have a room with yellow walls

like her rooms would be painted cool colors and stuff

but yellow specifically

she just seems like a yellow person

she would have a big wall that’s all chalkboard paint

wait now im really excited about this wall oh my god

like when everyone would go over her house they would all take a chalkboard marker (real chalk makes too much of a mess) and write and draw on it

evan would do little doodles of trees and write sweet and encouraging stuff

connor would either draw a hecking masterpiece or write really small in the corner “fuk u”

there’s no in between

alana would just doodle hearts and stuff

or when she’d be over doing homework w zoe she’d try to teach her math and science and stuff on it

a w 

jared would just draw memes 

i think we can all agree on that one

but annyyywwayy

she would refuse to get anything like store bought mainstream

like she would go to little shops in the middle of nowhere

or garage sales

and get the cutest stuff 

her house would be so homey but at the same time like “wtf why is this so perfect”

l o t s of tapestries

don’t fight me on this

it wouldn’t be the regular mendala ones that a lot of people get

(but she would for sure have a few of those too)

it would be like really cool unique stuff

lots of maps of the world

tie dye

ya kniw

they would mostly be taking up all of the celing space and some wall space in her room

she would so have a polaroid camera i KNOW IT

and she would put them all on pieces of string w clothespins and string them up around her room 

all pics of her frands and stuff

awwww zoe

she’d also probably have a room just for her dog

(btw if u didn’t see my other hc i see her as having a golden retriever named kiwi)

(but anyway)

like it was supposed to be a closet sbut she just didn’t use it

so she was like “well… okay let’s do this”

and evan will spend h o u r s at a time in that room

ugh she would just have the cutest apartment v colorful and stuff

evan:

evan’s apartment would be v small

he llved with his mom the first two years of college but decided to move out because he was feeling like he made a lot of progress and was ready to live on his own (btw is it canon tht he lives w his mom first year of college? i forget lmk)

(but he wasn’t really living on his own bc connor was always over or he was at connor’s place) 

he would have a v little sitting area w a really old tv and a worn out couch that was probably free on the side of the road or cheap from a garage sale

he would have a fridge and oven and stuff but he’d mostly just use the microwave

(ho;ly shit “some people say just use a microwave…”)

(i h8 myself why why why ok moving on)

his diet would mainly consist of ramen noodles

bc he doesn’t want to leave and have to socalize with people at fast food places or the grocery store

but every once and a while zoe would come over like “evan wtf” and make him food to hold him over for a while

(uh hc that zoe’s a really good cook??/)

he would have a little bedroom with a big window in it

and his comforter would be blue with navy stripes (similar to The Shirt™ but not completley the same)

he would have lots of sticky notes everywhere

like ranging from “don’t forget to feed the dog” to “don’t worry about it, it’s probably not a big deal”

and when he was in a really good mental state he would write them and stick them in places he know he’d see when he wasn’t in the best shape

and it would encourage him to keep going

wow that’s equally heartbreaking and adorable

ok don’t fight me on this we all know it’s a thing

he would have plants. eve ry wh ere

like there wouldn’t be a single fake plant in there

but he loved them bc he felt like it made the air fresher??? like it supplied more oxygen in the room which made it easier to breathe when he was feeling anxious??

(idk i can’t really explain it but that’s how i feel when i get anxious so i feel like it would help him too)

but it would range from huge ass borderline trees to succlents the size of his thumb nail

he would have s o many succulents

he would name them all

aaaaaaaAaAAAA

and each of his friends would have a plant named after them

even though it was small he really loved his apartment

bc he worked really hard to be able to pay for it and buy the furniture and stuff

so it was like his baby

yeah that’s my boy evan handsoap!

connor:

connor’s apartment would actually be pretty big

like everything would be super super high quality and nice 

he would so have a recliner chair

you know the one i’m talking about okay

and he would spend most of his time in there

even though he def has a huge nice sectional

(btw most of his furniture is black)

when evan would come over he wouldn’t want to get up out of it

but even always wanted to cuddle

so the first time evan was like “con come over hereee”

connor just scooched over

and evan was like “??”

but just went over to him

and they were kinda squished but they loved it 

bc they were so close to eachother

AW IM SCREECHING

but yeah they would love to cuddle on the recliner

his kitchen would be p nice too

like he would have a weirdly high tech fridge and a really nice oven and stuff

but if u opened the fridge there would just be like a half dranken (that is nOT a word) bottle of mountain dew, a cheese stick, and maybe on a good day some random leftovers

(btw idk why but i see his parents buying him most of the stuff in his apartment,, this doesn’t really make sense when i think about it but i can’t not do it what am i saing now awioehfdlsnk)

his room would be nice

he would have a big bed with a black and white plaid duvet cover

omg evan would l o v e his bed

like evan of course loves his own bed but connor’s is just so comfy

(plus connor’s bed also has connor)

(anywho)

his walls would be like a greyish blue color

but his furniture would still be all black

he would have a big desk and he always kept sticky notes around for evan to doodle on if he ever got anxious

and he has an entire drawer in his dresser just for his hair ties because he has an unhealthy amount of them

at all times

partly because he wants to keep his hair up sometimes

but partly because he always wears one around his wrist to snap when he gets mad or can’t control his emotions

and he always ends up loosing them

oh also his shower in his bathroom would be BOMB like im talking it has one of those little ledge chair thingies 

and the water pressure is a plus

and evan’s shower at his apartment is like sucky so he always just showers at connors

(i mean this in the least innapropriate way possible btw jus clearing that up)

but connor would spend SO much time there

so would evan tbh

so yeh

jared:

ok guys

hear me out on this one

but i feel like jared would have a surprisingly nice apartment??

like,,, actually very nice

they would all love hanging out there when they were all together

the first time he asked them over they were like “… u sure”

they were expecting to walk into something that looked like a super crappy hotel room with garbage all over

but they walked in and were like “jared what the fuk”

because this place was nice

like,, , he would always have the most food out of all of them

(which wasn’t saying much but still)

he would have a big nice couch with lots of extra like beanbags all over

they would all have their own that they used

and his tv would be poppin okay

he would have his old wii hooked up to it

and they would constantly have mario kart tournaments

jared always insisted on being wario

for the Memes™

he would be the only one out of all of them with an amazon fire stick so they would always watch movies all together at his house

and sometimes they would just randomly take it without telling him

(i’m looking at u connor)

and he wouldn’t notice for a few days but when he did he went cRAZY

but anyway

his room would b supa cool

he would have a really nice bed

omg he would have like video game and other nerd stuff posters e v e r y w  h e r e

like everywhere

little to no wall space for anything elsee

every once in a while he would go through his camera roll and print the pictures that he liked the best to hang up on his wall

hear me out bc this is gonna sound weird

he would probably have a dead meme shrine in one of the corners of the wall on the bottom

that he started as a joke with connor and zoe once but it jst spiraled out of control until every dead meme was recognized as soon as it went out

he would have a tv in his room

not as good as his one in the living room but still

he has two tvs what even jared

that’s where he would put his xbox

and he would game all night man

ah i love jared sm

ok that’s it hope u enjoyed ahhahah