#in the buckley parents eyes buck was expandable

[biboybuckley]

no matter how hard it gets, i'll take the graveyard shift

Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz | 4.6k | Teen and Up Audiences | aka: evil doctor!buck fic 

Summary: After waking up from the coma, Buck continues to have nightmares about the darkest parts of himself breaking to the surface.

Eddie’s hurt. He’s hurt and he’s broken and Buck can’t remember why- can’t remember what happened- but he knows it’s his fault. He knows he’s the reason Eddie is lying before him, bloodied and pale and his face twisted in pain instead of peaceful in his sleep. 

His hand doesn’t hold Buck’s back, no matter how hard Buck squeezes it. His chest rises and falls, but his breaths are shallow. His eyelids flutter, his eyelashes brushing his cheeks, but they don’t open. 

He’s okay, a voice inside Buck’s mind supplies, he’s alive, he’s stable. He’s okay.

He doesn’t look okay. And Buck doesn’t feel okay. Buck feels like he’s choking, his chest constricting around his heart, his ribs cracking under the invisible pressure and stabbing into the soft tissue they’re meant to protect, leaving him bleeding from the inside out. 

Then Eddie’s eyelids flutter again, cracking open ever so slightly this time. His eyes, dazed with pain and drugs, land on Buck and the corner of his mouth lifts in a slow smile. His fingers twitch in Buck’s grasp. 

“Buck,” he breathes, some of the pain leaving his face as he murmurs the name. 

“Hey Eddie,” Buck chokes out, the tears stuck in his throat threatening to drown him. He knows what drowning feels like. He’s had water fill his lungs, leave no room for air or a scream to let loose. He knows what it is to not be able to breathe. He’s never felt it quite like this. 

“Am I-?”

“Stable,” Buck cuts in. “You’re stable. They want to keep you at least overnight, probably through tomorrow.”

Eddie nods, once, his eyes falling closed again. Buck thinks he’s fallen back asleep and he starts to lower his own head to meet their conjoined hands, to press his lips to Eddie’s split knuckles and whisper a wordless prayer. He doesn’t quite know how to pray, if he’s being honest. He thinks to pray he would have to believe someone was listening. 

The only person he wants to hear his prayers is Eddie. 

“Chris,” Eddie murmurs, his voice slurring. “Y’gotta go home to Chris, Buck.” 

Buck shakes his head, firmly. He’s already been through this in his own mind, every molecule of his body being pulled in two directions. One is home, taking care of the child that makes up half his heart. The other is here, beside the battered and bruised other half, holding his hand as if by doing that he could heal Eddie himself. “Carla is there. Bobby is going to go over. Everyone’s agreed to look out for him, I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving you alone.”

Eddie squeezes his head. “He needs you, Buck.” His face contorts for a moment, his brow furrowing and mouth curling into a pained grimace. 

“I need you,” Buck whispers. And that- that feels like a prayer. It is a prayer, more holy than any words Buck could pull from the Bible or recite in a church. 

Eddie squeezes his hand again, his grimace melting into a smile. “Hey, I’m right here. Okay? Not going anywhere. But I- I need you to be with Chris. Please, he needs a parent right now. He’s endured this too many times already.”

Buck’s breath catches in his throat at Eddie’s murmured confession, his blatant statement. It pierces Buck’s chest, expanding in the same way a flower blooms, the honey warm petals curling around his heart, protecting it from the fear trying to shred it to pieces. 

“I’m not-,”

“You are,” Eddie insists, his voice the firmest it’s been since he woke up. Buck meets his gaze and it’s fierce, fully aware of what is being said. Eddie means this. 

“Okay,” Buck breathes. “Okay. I’m going to take care of him Eddie, I swear. We’re going to be home, waiting for you to come back to us. Okay?”

Eddie only nods, his eyes falling shut again. Buck barely hears the whispered Thank you that falls from Eddie’s lips like a sigh. 

Buck gives himself a couple more moments, studying Eddie’s sleeping face, more peaceful now than before, until he squeezes Eddie’s hand once, twice, and moves to his feet. He waits another moment to ensure the beeping of the monitors stays the same, then he turns and leaves. He feels the distance like a physical tether, connecting him to Eddie and growing tenser with each step he takes in the wrong direction. 

But there’s another tendril, one connecting him to Chris even this far away, drawing him in and in further. Two lines, one heart. He wonders, briefly, if they’ll tear his heart in two. He doesn’t care. 

Love doesn’t work like that. It sounds like Maddie’s voice in his mind. It’s not meant to hurt you, to tear you apart. Those lines don’t get cut, don’t get stretched too far. They are infinite. The tension is just a reminder they’re still there. 

Buck lets out a slow breath as he walks down the hallway, further and further from Eddie’s room. The tension isn’t painful, Maddie’s voice is right. It’s just a gentle tug, a warm and constant reminder that Eddie’s still there. 

A doctor passes Buck, bumping into his shoulder and continuing on without a word. And something- something feels off. Something twists in the pit of Buck’s stomach and bile rises in his throat and his hands start shaking and- he has to get to Eddie. 

He can’t move. His feet are planted firmly to the floor, each desperate to run in the opposite direction. 

Then two things happen in quick succession: 

First, a text comes through on his phone. Automatically he checks it and nearly sobs in relief when he sees the photo from Bobby, of Chris fast asleep in his bed, his face sweet and innocent and peaceful. 

Second, he hears a shout. It’s muffled, cut off, barely there. He almost thinks he imagined it. But the ringing in his ears promises he didn’t. 

“Buck-!”

The tether snaps. 

Eddie. 

Buck spins on his heel and bolts down the hallway. It’s longer now- longer than when he came up it, Eddie grows further and further away as the tile expands under Buck’s feet.

He bursts into the room late- too late, too late. The monitor has flatlined, reduced to one deafening, monotonous tone. 

continue on ao3

[piratefalls]

Hi!! Don't know if you still take requests for the fic posts but do you know fics where they adopt/foster, especially if it's older kids?

(your last post is a mood. I always say I'm going to watch all the show on my to-watch list during hiatus and then I never do lmao)

this took a horrifically long time because i’ve been buried in fic for another list. what i have here was so hard to find because the vast majority of adoption fics in this fandom are buck adopting Christopher (i added some of my favorites) or buck having been adopted/in the system. any other adoption fics listed are ones i felt best suited the request, because a decent number of fics in the tag just kind of hand-wave the process. i couldn’t find any with older kids. i’m sure there are others out there, but if they exist they don’t have adoption/foster care tags.

masterlist. requests are open.

Foster

life’s little miracles by Cor321

When Buck started to volunteer in the NICU in their Kangaroo Care Cuddle Program, he had no idea how fast his life would change. He was used to falling in love with these babies and see them grow and thrive to the point where they were discharged with their parents. But, for one precious baby girl, that just wasn't the case. She didn't have anyone, well no one besides Buck.

Buck knew it was crazy, but that didn't stop him from doing everything he could for this little girl. And everyone else in his life? Well they were just along for the ride.

Or

A story of fighting for love and finding it completely by accident.

Adoption

it’s morning (it’s brighter now) by catching_paper_moons

“Eddie,” Buck mumbles. “Aren’t you tired?”

“I love you,” Eddie says. Buck blinks. “I don’t know. I just wanted to say it.”

“It’s not like you need an occasion,” Buck says, and Eddie knows him, knows he intended that to be smooth but it failed and turned out a little too goofy to be smooth. “I love you too.”

- or, a slice-of-life, sick day fic with the Buckley-Diaz expanded family.

keep my brittle heart warm (give me peace) by extasiswings

“I think any kid would be lucky to have you as their dad,” Eddie replies. “And—I don’t know—you found her. Isn’t that some kind of sign from the universe or something?”

Buck’s lips twitch as he looks up again.

“You don’t believe in signs.”

“But you do.”

[Or: a baby girl is left at the station in the middle of winter. And everything changes.]

foster to adopt

The Parent Trap by abow123456

Evan Buckley is 7 years old when his mother leaves him at a gas station, where he meets Bobby Nash.

20 years later, Evan "Buck" Nash is a firefighter with the 118, when he meets 7 year old Christopher Diaz at a gas station, after his mother killed herself.

He takes the boy in, just like his father did to him, and cares for him. But, when Christophers father finally comes into the picture, how will things change?

bonus: buck adopts chris

must be some kind of twist, I could get used to this by soyxunxperdedor

He doesn’t remember much from last night, even less after the fourth or fifth tequila shot. So he certainly doesn’t remember bringing someone back to his room.

He steels himself for the lancing pain and cracks his eyes open.

Oh. Oh no.

This is either really bad or… Well, not really good, but just. Not really bad, and that’s probably all Buck can ask for it to be.

Because Eddie is in his bed, Eddie’s arm is wrapped around his waist, Eddie’s legs are tangled with his. And he has no idea why.

helping hands by thisissirius

"You have to sign it," Chris says calmly, like he's not pulled Buck's world from beneath his feet. "Then Dad can take it to a judge and it'll be real."

i'll be your family by eddiesdiaz

“Buck?” Chris says, pulling him from his thoughts. He lets out a big yawn, wriggling around under the covers until he’s comfortable.

Buck couldn’t wipe the adoring smile off his face if he tried. “Yeah, buddy?”

“I know what I want you to get me for Christmas.”

“You do, huh? What is it?” Buck asks.

“I want you to be my dad,” Chris says easily, like it’s nothing. Like he didn’t just tilt Buck’s entire world on its axis. “Well, my other dad.”

I Hate Accidents (Except When We Went From Friends to This) by morganofthefairies

“You should just move in,” Eddie said one night.  They were already laying in bed, Buck’s face half-buried in his pillow.

“Where would I sleep, Eddie,” Buck deadpanned, sleep heavy in his voice.

“Here,” Eddie said, not entirely sure how Buck missed that part.  “The same place you’ve been sleeping.”

Bobby raised an eyebrow when Buck updated his address on all of the necessary paperwork, but Eddie wasn’t entirely sure what the big deal was.

~~~~~~~

Buck and Eddie had always been unconventional. Neither of them gave it much thought – they were just them. Buck and Eddie - partners, best friends, co-parents – just as entangled in each other’s lives as any actual couple in the 118.

Or, the story of how Buck and Eddie went about their relationship in entirely the wrong order.

[meraus]

I disagree about the Buckley parents. Buck shouldn’t have to take the first steps. They are the ones who caused the trauma.! They should be the ones to fix it

Hiiii anon. Thanks for this opportunity to expand on that throwaway post lol. Under the cut cause this is a good four paragraphs long.

You're right in that they should be the ones to fix their own wrongs, but unfortunately people become accustomed to the how things are and harden in their ways. They don't see their wrongs or manage to justify it to themselves. They're not just suddenly going to become good people who know exactly what to do. They might not even attempt it if you don't show them how and/or make it clear that their effort will be appreciated.

If no one takes the first step, then you'll remain at a stand still. So if Buck wants that happy family life, and his coma dream has made it clear that he does, he's going to have to set it in motion, or it just won't happen. And when he addresses it, he gives his parents an opportunity to take responsibility and meet him where he's at.

I really like that Buck is such a go-getter. He's not too proud or too bitter or whatever else that will prevent him from getting what he wants. I also think it's a lot easier for him now that he's seemingly broken free of who he is in relation to Daniel, which is the cloud that hangs over how he views himself in his parents eyes.

Anyway, I don't think Buck, with his new revelation of being enough, is going to overstep in trying to fix things with his parents. That wasn't what I was getting at with my post. I think he's at a point now where he can see clearly that he was taking blame for things he wasn't responsible for. Now he can re-approach the matter with this new mindset. He's taking steps to heal himself from his trauma without relying on his parents to take their accountability.

[deluweil]

Re-watching 4x05, there were some things said in Maddie’s and Buck’s conversation in the beginning and then when kid Buck falls off the bike (by Margaret) that made me go and look for the risks in donating bone marrow.

Remember that Daniel died the first year after Buck was born, meaning that Evan was a baby when they used him as a donor.

So I pulled a Buck and went to research online: (According to healthline.com)

Anyone between 18 and 60 years old can register to be a donor.

People between 18 and 44 tend to produce more and higher quality cells than older individuals. Doctors choose donors in the 18 to 44 age group more than 95 percent of the time, according to Be The Match, a national marrow donor program.

You’ll need to provide a tissue sample. This is obtained by swabbing the inside of your cheek. You must also sign a consent form.

Besides donating your bone marrow, you’re donating your time. To be accepted, you’ll need to provide additional blood tests and have a physical examination. The total time commitment for the donation process is estimated to be 20 to 30 hours over four to six weeks

The most serious risks have to do with anesthesia:

People who fall into those categories may have an increased risk for:

postoperative confusion

pneumonia

stroke

heart attack

About 2.4 percent of donors have a serious complication from anesthesia or damage to bone, nerve, or muscle, according to Be The Match.

You’ll only lose a small amount of bone marrow, so it won’t weaken your own immune system. Your body will replace it within six weeks. - But this talks about adults doing the process, not a newborn, barely formed baby.

Some potential side effects from general anesthesia are:

sore throat due to the breathing tube

mild nausea

vomiting

Regional anesthesia can cause headache and a temporary drop in blood pressure.

Some side effects of marrow donation include:

bruising at the incision site

soreness and stiffness where the marrow was harvested

achiness or pain in the hip or back

trouble walking for a few days due to pain or stiffness

You might also feel fatigued for a few weeks. That should resolve as your body replaces the marrow.

While recovering, here are a few ways to ease common side effects:

Lightheadedness. Rise from a lying down or seated position slowly. Take things easy for a while.

Sleep disturbances. Eat smaller, lighter meals. Rest and go to bed earlier until you feel fully recovered.

Swelling at the surgery site. Avoid heavy lifting and strenuous activity for 7 to 10 days.

Swelling of the lower back. Use an ice pack periodically throughout the day.

Stiffness. Stretch or take a few short walks each day until you build up your strength and flexibility.

Fatigue. Rest assured that it’s temporary. Get plenty of rest until you feel like yourself again.

According to Be The Match, some donors find it more painful than they thought it would be. But others find it less painful than they expected.

Reading this got me even more mad at the Buckley parents, because baby Evan was expandable, they had him for the sole purpose of saving Daniel. It made me wonder if the graft worked but the baby died in the process if the grieving would have been as long as it is with Daniel.

I wonder if both survived, the treatment of baby to adult Evan would have been different - if he would have been considered the hero/savior by his parents.

I don’t wonder at Buck’s unbelievable tolerance for pain, and his habit to persevere despite everything. 

I don’t wonder about Buck’s belief of how expandable he is (obviously he’s not), it’s because that’s how his parents made him feel, every day of his life for as long as he lived under their roof, and even outside of it. 

Until the 118, bobby, and the Diazes, he really didn’t have a home.

And Chimney’s “Yes you were, by her.” (referring to Maddie wanting and loving him) does not makes a difference, because, yes she loves him and of course she wants him, always, but a sister’s love (even absent, for whatever reason) amazing as it is ( I have two, both younger) does not rival to the patterns of behavior and sense of self worth our parents can instill in us. 

I know my parents love me, but they screwed me over pretty good. (My therapist is making good money off of me lol) I know my sisters love me and that they are always there when I need them, and vice versa, but that doesn’t make the damage our parents did, even inadvertently, any less harmful.

So Eddie’s very correct assumption (unlike the rest’s broken record - reckless) in Buck acting expandable is such an important observation that was finally made to Buck himself - and the fact that it was made by Eddie is even more important, because Eddie is the one that spend the most time with Buck, by choice, and actually sees him for who and what he really is. 

Eddie doesn’t shy away from that conversation - and compared to Eddie of S3 and even S2 that is a hell of a character development, and a blessing in disguise because now they can both move on together. - Get better together.

I didn’t plan on making this about buddie - but the family Buck chose, choosing him back, in contrast to the family who brought him into this world out of necessity not out of choice is so highlighted in this case, it had to be adressed.

[clusterbuck]

Can I request 2. taking a young child trick or treating please?

okay. so. technically there is trick-or-treating, i promise! there's just also mostly all kinds of feelings.

buck pulls up to christopher's school the friday before halloween and immediately spots the kid across the yard, deep in conversation with one of his friends. even from this distance, buck recognises the way christopher gets when he's telling a story—the intense concentration on his face, the way he gestures to emphasise his point, sometimes waving a crutch around if just a hand isn't enough to drive it home.

buck doesn't want to interrupt him, because the story being told in the shade of the jungle gym is clearly a great epic to rival shakespeare or homer. the kid christopher is talking to looks fascinated, completely engrossed, and two or three other kids are drifting closer like they just can't resist hearing the rest of the story.

memories of school pick-ups and football games and study sessions bubble up, of conversations cut off with no consideration by the wills and whims of his mother or father, whichever got stuck driving him around on a given day. buck remembers the way it made him feel like he wasn't even a person, like the thoughts in his head were less important than his mother's salon appointment. the way it made him stop sharing those thoughts, eventually, because it wasn't like anyone cared.

so, yeah, he doesn't want to interrupt christopher.

he gets out of the jeep carefully, trying not to draw attention to himself, and wanders over to the teacher in charge of pick-up.

"hi there," she says, squinting at buck like she's trying to place him. "who are—oh, wait, picking up christopher diaz, right?"

"that's right," buck says. the teacher is vaguely familiar, like he's probably seen her before, but he can't place which of christopher's teachers she is. "i'm buck—uh, evan buckley? i should be on the pick-up list."

"of course, yes, that's all fine," she says, not even looking at the clipboard in her hand. "christopher is just over there, down by the jungle gym."

"yeah, i see him," buck says, shading his eyes with his hand to check on christopher. he's still talking, and his audience has expanded to four kids now. "but we're not in any rush, and it looks like he's got quite the story going. i can wait."

"of course," she says. "sorry it took me a second, it's just been a while since we've seen you."

"yeah, uh, we've had good shift schedules lately," buck says. "so eddie's been able to get to pick-up most days. but he's covering an extra shift today, so you get me instead."

"well, it's nice to see you too," the teacher says. "we always try to encourage both parents to be involved with school things, wherever possible."

"oh," buck says, blinking. "oh, no, i'm—i'm not his parent."

not really. no matter how much it feels like it sometimes, no matter that he loves christopher like he's his own flesh and blood—more than he loves most of his actual flesh-and-blood relatives, maddie excepted.

no matter that he loves eddie, too, more than enough to make them a family. it's not a unilateral decision; no amount of wishing on his part can make it true, not if eddie doesn't want it, too.

there are moments, sometimes, when he thinks maybe—when it seems like there's a possibility that eddie wants the same thing he does. but the moments keep evaporating into the wind and leaving no concrete trace behind, and buck keeps being too chickenshit to do anything about them, because no decision he's ever made has had this much riding on it.

"oh!" the teacher says, surprise and embarrassment warring for real estate on her face. "i'm so sorry, i shouldn't have—i just thought—you're on the pick-up list, you're his second emergency contact, and the way christopher talks about you... he said you're all going trick-or-treating on sunday?"

"we are, yeah," buck says. "it's not—i mean, i'm definitely a big part of his life, just. not a parent, just a friend."

the distinction feels artificial sometimes, because—what even is a parent? he's definitely more of a parent to christopher than either of his parents ever were to him. so maybe he's not with eddie, doesn't live in the same house or sleep in the bed—the world is full of divorced parents who don't do either. and that's not to even mention the fact that they do sleep in the same bed, sometimes, when they're crashing after a long shift and the only thing either of them cares about is the proximity of the nearest possible horizontal surface.

it's a line in the sand, the distinction between parent and something else, but it's one he needs to draw to remind himself of where things stand.

the teacher looks like she might be about to say something, but it's cut off by a loud, joyful yell of "buck!" echoing across the schoolyard. buck looks up to see christopher heading over to them with the world's biggest grin on his face, and takes off to meet him halfway.

"hey, buddy," he says, gathering christopher into a hug and spinning him around a couple of times. "did you miss me?"

"i just saw you yesterday," christopher says between giggles.

"so?" buck asks, setting him down and checking he's still got a grip on both his crutches. "i missed you since yesterday."

"maybe a little bit," christopher agrees, his tone magnanimous like he's granting buck a boon.

"i'll take that," buck laughs and ruffles his hair. "do you have all your stuff?"

christopher nods, and they start heading towards buck's jeep. they pass the teacher buck had been talking to, and he nudges christopher. "hey, say goodbye to—" he still doesn't know her name.

"bye, miss stevens!" christopher says, waving a crutch. "happy halloween!"

"happy halloween," she says, and buck doesn't know how to interpret her expression as she looks between him and christopher.

they're in the car and driving to the diaz house when christopher speaks up again. "dad missed you since yesterday."

buck grips the steering wheel and wonders what exactly christopher knows. "what makes you think that?"

"this morning he talked about you like five times," christopher says, clearly unimpressed. "he always talks about you when you're not there. like when we drove to school a song was on the radio, and he said hey, you know who likes this song? buck." he puts on an exaggerated, mocking tone of voice for that, and if buck didn't know better he'd think it sounds like the voice kids use to mock crushes in the schoolyard. "i think that means he missed you."

"huh," buck says, turning the comment over in his mind. and over and over, the whole drive home and the rest of the evening, through the rainstorm that picks up around dinnertime, all the way until eddie finally walks through the door sometime around midnight. he's clearly exhausted, dead on his feet and dripping even though the walk from his truck to the front door can't have been longer than fifteen seconds.

"bad shift?" buck asks, taking eddie's duffel bag so he can unlace his boots.

"just a long one," eddie says through a yawn. "busy. once it started raining..."

"yeah," buck says. los angeles is, famously, a terrible place to drive, and it's even worse in the rain. he knows what rainy shifts are like, especially once the sun goes down.

eddie frowns. "it's still pretty bad out there," he says. "you should probably just stay here." but there's something in his expression, a flick of his eyes and a twitch of his jaw—the ones that usually signal nerves, uncertainty—that makes buck think maybe the weather isn't the only reason eddie is asking him to stay.

dad missed you since yesterday, he thinks.

"yeah," he says. "okay."

--

buck spends all of saturday with eddie and christopher, and only goes home for the night because he needs a change of clothes. he's back bright and early sunday morning, ready to spend the day counting down the hours to when they can finally set off trick-or-treating. christopher has been impatient for weeks now, and buck doesn't imagine this final stretch is going to be any easier.

and it isn't, but the march of time is inevitable even when it is slow and so the hour finally arrives.

christopher has kept his costume a secret, claiming he wants it to be a surprise for buck. eddie has been obligingly tight-lipped about it no matter how much buck has tried to wheedle the truth from him, so buck has no idea what to expect once christopher asks him and eddie to assemble in the living room for the grand reveal.

never mind that eddie just helped him put the costume on and therefore definitely knows exactly what it is. christopher is not about to let them do this in half measures.

"i didn't raise him to be this dramatic, you know," eddie mutters as they listen to christopher making his way down the hallway to make his entrance. "he gets this from you."

buck turns to face him, quick and jerky like he's a marionette and eddie's holding the strings. which is... not untrue, on some level.

eddie doesn't seem to think there's anything unusual about what he's just said, but something warm blooms in buck's chest. he gets this from you. his artificial, arbitrary line in the sand between parent and not is blurring once again.

and it's being blurred by eddie, of all people. buck has heard the story of what happened in the suit store, knows all about eddie's reaction to someone flinging ana across that line. but there's no hint of panic in eddie's features now, just the same steady fondness he gets when he looks at christopher.

it's a lot to digest, and from the way eddie's starting to look concerned, buck thinks maybe he's been digesting it for a little too long. "i'm only nurturing his natural talent," he says, pulling out a grin, and eddie scoffs.

there's a sound from the living room door, and they turn to see christopher standing in the middle of the doorway and frowning at them.

"you were supposed to be watching me, not each other," he grumbles, and buck thinks he does a very good job of not choking on his own saliva.

"i'm sorry, buddy," eddie says. "do you want to do it again?"

"now you've both already seen it," christopher says. "it wouldn't be the same."

"if it helps, i really love your costume," buck says. christopher brightens immediately, looking down at himself like he's making sure the costume is still there.

"i wanted to be like you and dad," he says. he's dressed as a firefighter, and as far as buck can tell it's just a smaller version of a regulation lafd firefighter uniform, not one of those cheap poly-blend costumes sold in halloween stores that start coming apart as soon as you take them out of the plastic packaging. there's even a helmet, labelled 118 just like the ones he and eddie wear on duty.

"you are," he tells christopher. "just like us." then he ducks down to press a kiss to the top of christopher's helmet, which makes him laugh just like he'd known it would.

"so, we ready to go?" eddie asks, and christopher scrambles to start putting on his shoes.

"impressive costume," buck says. "how'd you pull it together?"

"carla, abuela, tía pepa..." eddie says, listing them off on his fingers. "a lot of help, is what i'm saying."

"i see how it is," buck says, putting on his best fake-offended voice. "everyone knew about it except me."

maybe christopher does get some of the dramatics from him.

eddie just laughs. "see if i ever put together a surprise for you again," he says, then nudges buck in the direction of the door. "now get a move on before the kid gets it in his head he doesn't need us."

eddie turns out to be something of a prophet. at the first house they reach, christopher turns and fixes buck and eddie both with a very serious look even as the brim of his slightly-too-large helmet slips lower and lower.

"you can wait here," he tells them at the foot of the driveway. "i'm nine now. i can go to the door by myself."

eddie looks over at buck, quirking his eyebrows like what do you think? buck looks up and down the driveway, and none of it looks particularly threatening. just a normal suburban driveway, almost identical to eddie's own.

he inclines his head at eddie. i don't see why not.

eddie nods, and the line in the sand of buck's mind grows fainter still.

"okay, christopher, here's the deal," eddie says. "you can go up to the door by yourself on two conditions. you go straight to the door and come straight back, and you always stay where we can see you. okay?"

"okay," christopher says, already turning to head towards the house.

he hasn't gotten more than five feet away when someone clears their throat. "that's such a great costume," a woman says somewhere to buck's left. "you guys have a really cute kid."

"oh, i'm—" buck starts, but he's cut off by eddie's warm and sincere thank you.

the woman smiles and moves on, and eddie shoots buck a curious look. "what were you about to say just now?"

the weight of eddie's gaze feels heavier than the situation merits, and buck frowns. "just that i'm not actually his dad," he says quickly. "i know you don't like it when people assume."

now it's eddie who's frowning. "what do you mean?"

"with ana—"

eddie waves a dismissive hand. "that was ana. this is different. it's—it's different when it's you."

buck moves closer, just barely a half-step. "why is it different?"

"you basically are his parent," eddie says easily, like he doesn't know how much this question keeps buck up at night sometimes. and how could he? "ana never was."

and it still kind of makes his head spin, but buck can accept this part. it makes sense to him. but—"what about the other part?" he asks.

"what other part?"

"it doesn't bother you that people assume we're married? one of christopher's teachers did when i picked him up on friday, you know."

it's starting to get dark, but in the glow of the various festive lights surrounding them, buck swears he sees a blush spreading across eddie's face.

"oh," eddie says. "uh." later, buck won't be able to determine what it was exactly, but something—some sixth sense or whisper of the universe—nudges him to take another step closer, until he's right up in eddie's personal space.

"eddie?"

eddie's eyes roam over buck's face, and whatever he's looking for, he must find it, because he takes a deep breath. "i kind of like it, actually."

buck isn't entirely sure who kisses who first, but that question ceased to have any priority the moment eddie's lips touched his. all that matters are eddie's hands finding his waist and eddie's mouth on his, eddie's jaw under his palm and the softness of eddie's hair at his fingertips.

"besides," eddie murmurs when they break apart. "i know a way we can fix the false assumption."

"what's that?"

"you could marry me for real."

buck surges against eddie again, and it's only the second time they've kissed but it feels like coming home.

"is that a yes?" eddie asks, and buck laughs as he nods, because in what universe is there even a question?

"that's a stop being so gross," christopher says next to them, but when they turn to face him they find him grinning, wide and joyous.

"how am i supposed to stay where you can see me if you keep looking at each other?" he asks, and eddie laughs.

"that's a very good point," he says. "we'll do better at the next house, okay?"

"you'd better," christopher says, trying to be serious, but all three of them are laughing when they turn to head to the next house, eddie's hand tucked firmly into buck's.

time is a construct so if you still want halloween prompt fills after halloween feel free to send me prompts

[because-i-am-barely-even-human]

I've seen a lot of fics where Buck is an honorary little brother/son of Steve McGrarrett, but I don't really see any resemblance between them except that both of them were SEALs (or in Buck's case, almost SEAL) and they have a tendency to dive into the danger, because they know they have needed skillset (much to Danny's and Eddie's chagrin).

So, I would really love to see the story where Buck is actually related to Danny.

Danny be like 44 years old, if Buck is 28.

Buck is not a Buckley, but a Williams in this one.

Buck and Maddie don't have big age gap.

AU: Buck is Danny Williams' biological son

***

Buck is actually Danny Williams' son. He was born when Danny was in high school (16-17 years old). Buck did not grew up with Buckleys, they are just his distant relatives, but he was close with Maddie like she was his sister, so that's what he was telling everyone when people asked about her.

Buck despises Phillip and Margaret after seeing the way they treated Maddie (basically ignored her) during the years she still lived with them. And because they looked at him weird and sometimes tried a little bit too much to make him stay in their house and often call him Danny. He thought they were confusing him with his dad, but that wasn't the case here. Maddie told him what really was going on when she heard about this.

And then they told Danno about this clownery, he gave Phil and Marge a signature Williams lecture (everyone and their neighbour heard his yelling), and from then on Buck and Maddie only saw each other at Williams' house or in public places, never at Buckleys' again. Then Danny and Buck moved to New Jersey and Maddie ran away to live with them. So no Doug happened under Danno's watchful cop eye.

***

The 118 never had a chance to cross paths with Danny despite Buck's numerous hospital visits, they were always too late to catch him. Evan never really talked about his dad, so the only thing they know is that he grew up with a single parent and that he's from New Jersey.

Buck just likes to keep some things close to chest.

They assumed that he had a strained relationship with his father.

Imagine the team's surprise when they see an explosive short blond with a tall military like guy in Buck's hospital room caringly yelling at Buck with Eddie and Christopher sitting in the background watching them like a ping-pong match.

So, Buck's life wasn't tragic like in canon, which means he doesn't have abandonment issues at all, 'cuz Danno is a kick-ass dad 🔥

----

This is a ficlet but I don't mind if someone wanted to expand it into a full-fledged fic, with dialogues and lots of funny scenes. Just give me credit for the idea and link to this post.

----

If someone's interested in writing this, please tag me when you're done.

[readinginthereadyroom]

let’s talk about 9-1-1 buddie headcanons:

- eddie gets rid of his truck. christopher is getting older and wants more independence so he gets something with better clearance. and I’ve decided that something is a dodge durango. eddie is actually really into it. can’t stop talking about the fold down seats and towing capabilities. buck teases him and calls it his soccer mom van. then immediately starts researching CP-friendly soccer leagues for chris.

- buck strikes me as a podcast kinda guy. I feel like a lot of his random facts probably start with information learned via podcast and then researched separately on google or wikipedia. 

- luddite eddie my beloved. but not like luddite luddite. eddie’s a millennial so I see him as okay with all the 20th century technology he grew up with and just not all the newfangled smart home/internet gaming stuff. 

- abuela gives eddie an old turntable and a box of records and he falls in love with it. likes to play spanish love songs while cleaning on the weekends.

- eddie breaks up with ana. he does it quietly and cordially a couple weeks after the sniper incident.

- buck and taylor date for a little while but never really take off. and it’s super important that it’s buck who makes the decision to break up. they both have very busy lives and different priorities. and taylor acknowledges she probably shouldn’t have kissed him in the first place. she just hated to see buck so broken and wanted to comfort him. they decide they are better as friends.

- bosko and eddie friendship rights! eddie actually apologizes to her and they become gym buddies. lena stops going to the junkyard fights and finds an MMA gym that she’ll take eddie to. during the pandemic they somehow find themselves doing socially distanced tai-chi in the park. they keep it up once the gyms reopen.

- side note: lena does in fact get a cat. he’s a huge floofy maine coon named sarge who absolutely adores eddie. rubs his head all over him and immediately worms his way into his lap when eddie visits. he hisses at buck tho and lena finds it endlessly hilarious.

- demisexual eddie! I like the idea of lena no-nonsense asking eddie if he’s ace one day and eddie just having an internal panic attack but not being able to figure out why. karen gently brings it up few months later and he’s just deny deny deny. then he overhears david telling michael that he gives off ace vibes and that’s the last straw. so eddie pulls a full buck and starts researching just to prove everyone wrong. except it’s like a lightbulb clicks on and yeah. maybe there’s something to this.

- eddie and karen have a book club every other week. usually novellas or a short story collection. queer theory and literary fiction. the occasional poetry book. at some point they invite david to join them. they also have a not-so-secret romance novel exchange because they are big saps.

- eddie is also a sucker for a really good cup of black coffee. has a favorite hole-in-the-wall cafe where he buys beans in bulk. buck calls it his diesel fuel drink and grimaces at the taste. he prefers simple oatmilk latte from the place near the station. and yet buck always seems to know what days eddie will be running late and rushing to work and has a cup from said hole-in-the-wall coffee waiting. despite it not being on buck’s route. 

- christopher loves buck’s loft. buck keeps a stash of toys and coloring books in his coffee table trunk for when he visits. chris sees the stairs as a fun challenge and will often ask to go up and sit on buck’s bed to watch the city. or sit on the patio while buck bbq’s dinner for the three of them. he thinks it’s the coolest house ever.

- buck actually rides his bike. it’s not just for show. especially after the pandemic hit. he likes to go out in the mornings. drives to a nearby trail on his days off and enjoys the scenery while the sun comes up. sometimes eddie and chris meet him there after his ride and they have a breakfast picnic.

- the diaz-buckley-han’s share one netflix account. it’s technically buck’s in that he pays for it, but when maddie moved to LA he set her up with her own profile. then logged into his account at eddie’s one day and never logged out. renamed the profile buck & eddie after he setup a kid’s profile specifically for chris. then after learning about maddie and chim’s not-dating buff-fridays, buck put both their names on her profile as a prank. and then it just stayed that way. jee-yun even has a profile despite being a literal infant that doesn’t watch tv. maddie cried when she saw it.

- buck takes the legal guardianship thing very seriously. he’s already really involved in essentially co-parenting chris but he starts getting really nervous about asking invasive questions about chris’ medical history. so eddie sits him down with chris and the three of them talk about it. eddie very specifically asks chris if he’s okay with sharing that kind of info with buck. because even tho christopher’s a kid eddie always wants him to have a say in his own health decisions. then he has a more in-depth convo with just buck about insurance and bills and doctor’s visits. makes sure buck has access to all of it. 

- chris played secret matchmaker. went to his old friend santa claus and asked if buck would stay forever. santa came thru, as always.

- also carla knows. buck starts spending more nights at the diaz house and one morning she lets herself in and sees buck coming out of eddie’s room in just a pair of sweatpants. she gives him a coy eyebrow raise and buck blushes. then she just laughs, pats his cheek affectionately, and says your secret’s safe with me buckaroo. when a bleary-eyed eddie wanders out a half hour later she pushes a cup of coffee into his hands, waits a few moments, looks eddie dead in the eyes, and points at buck. I see you took my advice. eddie chokes on his coffee.

- speaking of carla she is family. she and her husband are regular guests at the 118 get-togethers, holidays at the firehouse, and family meals. she occasionally takes on other clients, but she’s mostly exclusive to the diazes these days. esp as christopher gets older and wants more independence. she’s been around since he was 7 and he’s comfortable with her. she stays his home heath care aide until she retires. then she personally vets a new one. because not just anyone will do for her boy. they throw her a huge retirement party.

- gonna jump into the future because christopher absolutely names his daughter carla shannon buckley-diaz. there isn’t a dry eye in the house.

- and I don’t actually see chris calling buck pops or anything. he’s just his buck. tho I can see eddie asking christopher if he wants to hyphenate his last name when buck officially adopts him. buck’s his hero so chris is 100% onboard. 

- buck and eddie don’t have more kids. eddie never wanted more and buck is surrounded by the ever-expanding horde of firefam kids. they love their little trio.

- also eddie is hilariously terrible with other kids. he just. doesn’t know how to talk to them. he’s literally the best father ever with christopher, but any other kid and he’s all awkward hello small human. it’s also the reason the team sends buck to handle kid rescues. he knows how to speak to kids and they light up around his sunshine energy. but then there are certain kids who just glom onto eddie. usually the quiet ones. they find something about his calm dad presence very soothing so they just cling to him until buck can coax them around. 

- I do not see the buckley-diazes getting a pet. buck and eddie work long shifts and it’s not fair to put that kind of extra responsibility on carla when her job is to care for chris. however, as chris gets older he does get a mobility service dog to help with counterbalance. she’s a golden retriever named stella and she’s a very good girl. 

- buck proposes by accident. they’re at the park with christopher and marriage just sorta comes up during one of his infodumps. eddie is eating his sandwich, nodding along, and just casually says of course I want to marry you. buck stops talking. christopher giggles. eddie panics. but when he looks at buck he’s all puppy-eyed and hopeful. you do? eddie nods. chris chimes in with a stage whispered ask properly buck and say yes dad. so they do.

[redtapesworstnightmare]

thursday evening

In which Eddie comes to several realizations. What to do about it is not one of them. 

read on ao3   |   word count: 1,175

tags:  Fluff, Feelings Realization, Christopher Diaz Has Two Dads, They're In Love Your Honor, Pre-Relationship Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, angsty in the sense that eddie is having Feelings and has no idea what to do about them, But Really It's Just Fluff, Post-Canon, canon-divergent in that ana and taylor are straight-up not mentioned, Oops

**

By the time Eddie walks in his front door after his shift, he’s about ready to drop right there. No getting changed into sweats, no bed necessary, just a little shut-eye right there on the threshold of his house. Never mind that it’s only dinnertime. 

“You look like hell, boy.” Carla greets him with a smile. “Looks like it’s a good thing I fed Chris some dinner. I’ll see you two tomorrow, get some sleep.” 

“Thanks, Carla.” Eddie says tiredly, smiling at the quick kiss on the cheek from Carla before she is sweeping out the door, calling a goodbye to Chris that, if Eddie had to guess, is merely a follow-up to one of her goodbye hugs that both Diazes love so much.  

“Daddy!” 

“Hey, bud,” Eddie greets his son, sitting on the couch behind where Chris has sprawled out on the floor, likely for a while judging by the mess strewn about him. “Have a good day with Carla?” 

“Yeah!” Christopher answers excitedly. Really, Eddie was expecting no other answer. 

“How about at school?” 

“Mostly.” Chris answers, suddenly looking downcast. That answer does surprise Eddie--Christopher looks like he’d hoped to avoid the topic of school altogether. Suddenly Eddie is shoving aside some of his bone-deep exhaustion, replacing it with worry about anything and everything that had possibly gone wrong. 

“Only mostly?” he asks. “Care to expand on that, kiddo?” 

“Is this one of those times where it sounds like I have a choice, but you actually mean that I have to tell you?” Chris asks, and Eddie feels a smile creep across his lips. 

“Only because I care and I want to make sure you’re okay,” he tells Chris. “I’ll tell you what, we can talk about it now, or you can clean this up while I put on some sweats and then we can chat.” Chris mulls this over for a moment before Eddie can see the spark of a decision in his eyes. 

“Daddy, would it be okay if I told Buck first?” he asks, and Eddie is taken only a little by surprise. 

“Uh, yeah, mijo, I can see if Buck can get on the phone,” Eddie says. “He just got off the same shift I did, though, so you might have to wait a little.” Eddie knows that’s probably not true, Buck has always dropped everything for his son. Actually, Eddie would be surprised if Buck didn’t decide to come to the Diaz house in person. And really, he thought, he wouldn’t fight Buck very hard on that, but he refused to think about why. 

“Thanks, Daddy.” Chris says. 

“You’re welcome, kiddo. Why don’t you clean this up, and I’ll see if Buck can talk tonight,” Eddie tells Chris, who immediately begins straightening the chaos that surrounds him. Eddie wonders when Buck became such an incentive. He is struck by the realization that he hopes that never stops. 

“Eds, miss me already?” Buck answers teasingly, barely letting the phone ring twice. 

“While I can never get enough of that face,” Eddie returns in kind, “Chris is asking for you.” 

“Did something happen? Is he okay?” Eddie hears shuffling and some jangling, and realizes Buck is probably already grabbing his keys. 

“Slow your roll, he’s okay. Something happened at school, and he wanted to talk to you about it first.” 

“Oh,” Buck says, and then the jangling returns. “I’m on my way.” 

“Buck, you can just get on FaceTime, I know you’re exhausted. You don’t need to battle LA rush hour traffic for this.” The thing about their shifts was that they were often spit back into the world at odd times, and that day’s timing had been 5:30 in the evening, smack in the middle of rush hour. 

“Hey, some work tiredness isn’t about to keep me from my favorite Diaz,” Buck says, and now Eddie can hear the shutting of a door and the metallic clunk of Buck’s deadbolt sliding into place. When Buck speaks again, the acoustics have changed, too, so Eddie knows Buck’s in the hallway outside his apartment. “Tell him I’ll be there soon.” Eddie tells Buck he will, and the pair exchange their goodbyes and hang up. 

“Buddy, how’s cleanup coming?” Eddie calls, poking his head into the family room. The chaos has lessened, and Chris chirps out a good, daddy! before returning to the last of the tidying. “Buck’s on his way, but traffic will be heavy so it’s gonna be a minute.” 

“I thought we were just FaceTiming.” Chris says confusedly, but he’s clearly not upset. He’s never upset where seeing his Buck is concerned. 

“He decided he wanted to see that cute face in person,” Eddie tells him, squishing the boy’s cheeks and making him laugh. Eddie never gets tired of his son’s laugh. “I’m going to get myself something to munch on quick, try and get this finished by the time Buck gets here.” Chris nods and keeps tidying. Eddie knows that Chris is a distractible cleaner and it more than likely won’t get done, but the effort is what counts. It wasn’t like Buck hadn’t seen the Diaz house in worse shape. He himself had caused worse chaos with Chris. 

Alone in the kitchen, Eddie has time to think for about the second time that day. The first had been in the car on his way to work, and Eddie hadn’t even realized he’d barely gotten a moment with his own thoughts for 24 hours. As he munches on a granola bar, tangerine sitting nearby, Eddie realizes how lucky he is that he’s got someone like Buck. That Christopher has someone like Buck. Always willing to set anything aside for the Diazes. But, Eddie thinks, shouldn’t he be jealous? Shouldn’t it hurt that Chris would rather tell Buck about what’s bothering him? It should. It always stung a little when Chris asked for Shannon over him, and she was his mom. But it doesn’t even feel strange that Chris asked for Buck. They’ve been raising Christopher together for years, it’s no wonder. Sometimes one parent is better equipped for a situation than the other, and Eddie isn’t surprised that Chris already knows who to go to for what.

Oh. Eddie thinks, backpedaling. We’ve been raising a son together. And then a second, more startling revelation: I’m in love with my best friend. He sits on the realizations for a moment, then wonders how he didn’t come to the conclusion sooner. Not after Buck was crushed by a fire truck, not after being buried alive or shot, but on a Thursday evening after a stupidly busy shift, when his son asked for Buck. 

“Oh, Diazes!” Eddie hears someone call, and he feels his heart give a familiar skip. 

“Bucky!” he hears Christopher cry, and goes out to see his boys. Buck and Chris are in the process of a bear hug and Eddie’s heart melts. Yeah, he’s definitely in love. 

The next thing he has to figure out is what on God’s green Earth to do about it.

[princessfbi]

Fic Writer Questions

I was tagged by @ashavahishta and @indigo2831

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

93

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

805,881

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

16! 9-1-1, 9-1-1 Lone Star, Les Mis, Marvel, The Almighty Johnsons, White Collar, The Hobbit, The Magicians, Graceland, The Flash, Now You See Me, Burn Notice, The Man From UNCLE, Royal Pains, Shadowhunters, and Star Wars

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Not Worth It

Soccer Mom Protocol

School Nurse Protocol

The Babysitter Protocol

Just Below the Crowded Avenue

Which are all for the Marvel fandom

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oooohhhh.... I try not to be too angsty near the end. I guess.... Will I Ever Be More Than I've Always Been? because it leads into the truck explosion and Athena getting a first real glimpse of Buck's parents being a waste of space a total let down.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

OH! I think that's probably a tie between She Made Herself Stronger (by Fighting with the Wind) and To Look and Be Seen and Howard Han's Daycare Carpool

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I do! I have a crossover with Graceland and Les Mis because Aaron Tveit whump was the dream (also a Harry Potter crossover)! I also have a very subtle crossover in The Almighty Johnsons where Anders is friends with the reincarnated Hercules which was a little nod to Dean O'Gorman being on Young Hercules. I've also a crossover with White Collar, Royal Pains, and Burn Notice. Annndddd..... *checks notes* Also just I crossed over all the Marvel fics all the time.

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I've been known to dabble from time to time. Just depends on the tone of the story. My main thing is keeping it consensual, have healthy communication, and show safe practices.

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I don't. I used to respond to everyone all the time but I had a few run ins where certain people have been a bit rude. I also stressed about my responses a TON because I didn't want to seem like I was just copying and pasting and that was taking up a lot of my energy. Eventually I had to decide what readers wanted more: my responses to comments or my writing. I'll answer a question here and there but for the most part I let the comment section be a space for the readers.

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really. I did get one person who was kind of really mean but they'd been mean to a lot of people so I took that with a grain of salt. I get more rude comments from time to time but those are also easy to disregard since I don't respond to comments anymore.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Sort of? I've had a few instances where people have taken certain things from my fics or scenarios from my fics and wrote it their own way. Though someone did take a part of my fic that was like a 5+1 and expanded one of the 5 to do their own story but that was on a site I don't use so I didn't know about it until recently.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of but it's possible.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

*side eyes @buddie-buddie* Ella you remember that time we went deep in our Buckley Siblings feels?

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Oh definitely Buddie for sure! Buddie followed by Enjolras/Grantaire.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I had a Carlos whump fic that I was working on but I've lost the inspiration (and the fun) from being a part of that fandom. But who knows? Never say never.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Character and pacing/tone? I feel like a lot of people talk about those the most.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Homophones and being kind to myself.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If it's in character and done correctly then sure! I made it a point in I Want You to be Happier where the only Spanish Eddie says is the Spanish he says in canon or the one time he's parroting back to Abuela. Abuela and her friends spoke Spanish fluently though and since Eddie was living with her, I would write him understanding parts of what she was saying. I actually even specifically only had Eddie mentally translate one sentence ("Who was on the phone?") and because it's a common occurrence he knew what she was saying. But whenever I do a different language I make sure that I am almost 100 percent correct when using it!

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Charmed!

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

....Tortured Musician Buck!AU my beloved!!!! That one and Tear Me to Pieces; Skin to Bone and If I Fall, Can You Pull Me Up?

Imma tag @buddie-buddie @lovebuck @herodiaz @softsatanhq @renecdote @maddieandchimney @madneyfiles @buttercupbuck

[novemberhush]

Buddie&Christopher + family picture ? :)

Hey! Sorry this took me a little while and I kind of expanded the prompt into pictures, plural, but hopefully you won’t mind! Thank you so much for the prompt.😘

Written as part of a three sentence fic challenge. (Hey, no one said they had to be short sentences.)

Title from the old adage ‘A picture is worth a thousand words’.

A Thousand Words

The Buckley house didn’t hold a great many family photos, Buck’s parents preferring instead to decorate their tastefully expensive abode with tastefully expensive works of art, but what photos they did have were all professionally taken and stage managed to the nth degree, Buck and Maddie essentially styled as good little mini-mes of their parents, there to be seen and not heard, leaving Buck with only hollow memories of being constantly told to shush and stand up straight, memories of starched-stiff collars and even stiffer smiles.

The Buckley-Diaz home, however, was a different story, walls lined and side tables laden with candid photos featuring bright smiles and heads thrown back in laughter, messy hair and casual, everyday clothes, eyes shining with happiness and everyone having a voice, a voice that was considered important, a voice that was listened to; snapshots of a family, a real one, a happy one, his happy one, joy and love and togetherness emanating from every single one of them and captured for all time.

And Buck treasured each and every one of them more than words could ever say.

[anon911andbuddie]

What if Chris was Buck's son?

Claimed by Red💋

Okay, so I’ve been struggling to write this because I can never find the right words...so I’m going to try this as a head canon. If you have a particular point that you like in it that you would like to be expanded into a fic, I could definitely work with that!

-Chris is the most amazing kid

-Like, seriously, Buck is thankful every day he gets to spend time with his son

-Buck is SUPER protective of his son

-But he lets Chris have his independence because that’s important!

-Matching curls when Buck grows his hair out!!! - “Daddy,” Chris laughs, “we match!”

-Chris means everything to him

-Ice cream with movie nights as long as Chris has eaten his vegetables...even if that means Buck has to eat his veggies too.

-Spending all of his time with Chris trying to make the kid laugh because that makes Buck soar for the rest of the day.

-Bobby is basically the kid’s grandfather and no one can tell me differently.

-Maddie is the most amazing Aunt in the world

-Definitely Maddie would spoil Chris even more than Buck does

-When Buck meets Eddie, he doesn’t know how to feel about the man, it doesn’t help that Chris takes an immediate liking to the guy

-Whenever Chris is in the vicinity of the firehouse, Evan Buckley’s Protection Mode is turned on high

-He just wants to make sure his son is safe and he could get hurt with the amount of heavy equipment in the firehouse

-the amount of times he’s had to bring Chris with him to work is surprising, but Bobby’s always so understanding.

-Buck and Eddie become really good friends and somehow Buck ends up trusting Eddie with his son

-Somehow he lets Eddie past all of his protective defenses and lets Chris and Eddie become friends

-Sometimes he regrets it because Eddie and Chris together make him agree to just about everything

-Does Chris really need to eat his veggies before having ice cream during the movie? Can’t he just have like, half of the veggies and we call it even?

-Buck knows his son got the puppy eyes from him, but Eddie seemed to teach Chris how to actually use them.

-Somehow Buck ended up co-parenting Chris with Eddie

-He’s still not sure how that happened

-When Carla can’t watch his son and Eddie has the day off, Buck drops Chris off with him and he doesn’t worry about his son throughout the shift because he knows Eddie will take care of his son like Chris is his own.

-Sometimes Buck has to bring Christopher’s homework to the station with him because he doesn’t know how school could have changed so much between the time he left and his son started school...it was only like a decade ago that he was in school

-So maybe he has to ask Bobby or Hen on the down low what the school means by having to use this equation for math he’d never seen before

-So maybe Chim finds out and teases Buck about it

-So maybe Buck turns to Chim and asks him to solve it if he’s so smart...and maybe he enjoys too much in the fact that Chim has no idea.

-There are definitely many bake sales that Buck has to do something for, but he wouldn’t change it for the world considering the look his son gives him

-Buck attends every PTA meeting, every parent-teacher conference, every event that Chris is in, even if he has to give Bobby a look and tell him that he’ll have to get a temp because he’ll be damned if he lets his kid down any more than he already has.

-It becomes less stressful as a single parent because he’s technically not a single parent anymore

-Eddie helps to occupy Chris and does things with them on their days off

-The amount of one day trips the trio has been on would be a surprising amount to anyone who didn’t know the two best friends

-Though Hen and Maddie keep teasing him that he and Eddie aren’t just best friends, which he doesn’t know what she means

-Chris also starts asking Eddie to come over more

-Buck has to explain that Eddie probably has other things he needs to do

-But Eddie always gives him a look he can’t decipher and says that there is nothing else he needs to do if Chris wants to hang out.

-And that does something to Buck, but he can’t describe it

-It feels nice to not be the only person fully invested in Christopher’s life

-Eddie insists on being at everything he can be that Chris is involved in

-Is Chris a supporting role in the school play? Eddie’s there. Is Christopher participating in the science fair? Stand back, Eddie is helping with the project and standing by Chris as he presents it.

-Buck never knew someone could love his son as much as he does

-The way Eddie is with Chris shows that Eddie may even consider Chris as his own...and that makes Buck feel things that he can’t put into words.

-Sometimes though, he feels like Eddie is stealing his kid away from him

-It’s always ‘Eddie this’ and ‘Eddie that’ and ‘Eddie will you read to me tonight?’

-But he can’t be mad because it warms his heart every time Chris talks about Eddie

-He’s happy his kid is happy, is that a crime?

-In the end, all Buck cares about is the happiness of his son and if Eddie makes him happy, well, he’s not going to fuck it up by mentioning to his best friend that he may or may not have more than platonic feelings for him.

[obvious-captain-rogers]

Evan Buckley Week has come to a close. It was a lot of fun to write all these little one-shots :) I hope y’all like this last one (I might expand on it but I’m not sure yet). Just saying that trans Buck is a lit headcanon and y’all can pry it from my cold dead hands.

Prompt: FREE CHOICE

           Buck chewed his lip as he scrubbed at the already clean countertop of his kitchen island. He was desperately trying to keep his mind off of the test that was sitting on his bathroom counter and of course he was failing as it was all his mind could focus on at the moment. He refused to give in and go look at it before the timer went off. He tossed the sponge into the sink and crossed over to where his laundry was sitting in a sad pile on the couch.

           He hadn’t been suspicious at the time, but if Buck thought about it, it had all started at a cookout at Bobby and Athena’s a few weeks before. Buck had been standing in the back yard with Michael and Hen, Bobby not far off at the grill, watching the kids play in the back yard. The wind had shifted and the smell coming from the grill had drifted into their faces. Buck’s stomach had given an unfamiliar lurch and he’d sprinted into the house- thankfully making it to the bathroom- before throwing up. It’d been embarrassing when Athena had come in to check on him- probably prompted by Bobby since she hadn’t been outside- and found him with his forehead pressed to the cool porcelain of the sink after he’d flushed the vomit away and rinsed his mouth out.

He’d figured that it was just something he’d picked up from Christopher since a few kids in his class had been sick recently and he hadn’t thought more about it. Not until he started feeling off in other ways. He was tired, more so than what normally came with the job. He’d been getting headaches and having this constant twinge in his left hip. Add all that with the fact that he’d accidentally skipped a couple weeks of birth control while still having sex with Eddie and that amounted to one conclusion: he needed to take a pregnancy test as soon as possible.

           Finally, he gave up on trying to fold his laundry and he pulled is phone out of his pocket to call the only person he felt like he could at the moment: Bobby.

“Hey.” Bobby’s even voice, tinged with just a bit of fondness if you knew how to listen for it, served to help calm Buck down. “Thought you’d have crammed your day full on one of your only days off,” Bobby teased.

           Buck’s heart was thumping hard against his chest as he tried to think of something- anything- to say. The only thing cycling around his head was, of course, centered around the damn test. I might be pregnant, I might be pregnant, holyshitImightbepregnant.

           “Buck? Can you hear me?” Bobby’s voice snapped him out of his spiral.

           “I think I might be pregnant,” Buck said quietly, his voice trembling a little on the last word. He closed his eyes and let out a harsh breath. There was silence across the line, only the minor static letting Buck know that they hadn’t been disconnected.

           “Have you told Eddie?” Bobby asked calmly.

           “No.”

           “Have you taken a test?”

           “I’m waiting on it right now, but Bobby I’m going to drive myself up the wall before the five minutes is up.” Buck sucked in a shaky breath and scrubbed a hand over his face. “What the hell am I going to do?”

           “You’re going to take a deep breath and wait for what the test says.” And that’s why he’d called Bobby. Bobby who was calm and level-headed even in the most dire of emergencies.

           “I’m scared, Bobby,” Buck admitted and he felt tears pricking at the corner of his eyes.

           “I know you are, but it’s going to be alright Buck. No matter what the results are,” Bobby said. There was a brief, unintelligible exchange that Buck could only assume was Athena coming into the room. “Athena’s here, Buck. Is it alright if I put the phone on speaker?”

           Buck was a little worried about more people knowing about this, but Bobby and Athena were like the parents that Buck had never really had. They would never tell anyone about this if Buck didn’t want them to, or if it turned out that it was all a big misunderstanding. “Yeah,” Buck breathed. “It’s okay.”

           “You’re on speaker now,” Bobby said gently.

           “Hey, Buckaroo,” Athena said, thought it was clear that she was confused. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

           Buck didn’t really want to have to say it again, but he forced it out of his mouth. “I think I might be pregnant.”

           “Oh,” Athena said quietly. “Well, that certainly explains why Bobby’s got that look.”

           The familiar joke about Bobby’s ‘Protective Dad and Captain Face’ startled a laugh out of Buck and he pressed a hand over his mouth to stifle it.

           “Let’s just focus up, alright?” Bobby asked and Buck could hear him rolling his eyes over the phone. “What do you need, Buck? Do you want us to come over and sit with you?”

           Buck really did. He wanted someone to come over and tell him that he wasn’t going to fuck this up if it turned out that he was pregnant. But he didn’t want to seem needy or childish, so he just stayed quiet. Because no matter what he said, Bobby and Athena were going to be able to see right through his bullshit.

           “We’ll be over in a few minutes,” Athena said and Buck didn’t have the heart to point out to her that in roughly a minute the test was going to be ready.

           “Okay,” Buck said and he felt like he’d swallowed a brick as they said a quick good-bye and then he hung up.

           He sat in the middle of his laundry, with a wadded up t-shirt in his lap, as he waited. The timer he’d set went off but Buck just turned it off without moving. He felt like he barely breathed until there was a knock on his door and he got up to answer it.

           “Come here,” Athena said before she wrapped her arms around Buck’s shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug. Buck melted into it and he pressed his face against her shoulder, letting himself just soak in the motherly comfort that Athena was giving so freely.

           “How do you want to do this?” Bobby asked once Buck had closed the door behind them.

           Buck squirmed a little as he glanced around, avoiding their eyes. “Uh, not sure. I know the timer went off a little while ago, but… I didn’t go look.”

           “Let’s take this one step at a time,” Bobby said carefully. “Do you want us to go with your, or do you want to look by yourself?”

           Buck took a breath. “I think I should look by myself.” He didn’t really want to, but he didn’t know what his reaction was going to be and he worried that Bobby and Athena would judge him.

           “We’ll be right here,” Athena assured him as they sat down at the table. She gave Buck one of her reassuring and motherly smiles, Buck glanced at Bobby and saw the same fondness and support in his expression.

           He took a steadying breath before he nodded and turned to go up the stairs. It felt like the stairs went on forever as he lifted his legs slowly to come down on each new stair. Then he was standing in his bedroom, the bathroom off to the left, and he took it in. His unmade bed and the little pile of clothes that he hadn’t put in the hamper, including a hoodie that he’d borrowed from Eddie despite the tight fit. He pushed through so that he was standing in the doorway to his bathroom. The test was sitting in the same place that he’d left it on the counter. He chewed his lip, lingering in the doorway nervously before closing his eyes and stepping up to the counter. He opened his eyes and picked up the test.

           Pregnant.

           Buck leaned back against the wall of the bathroom and he let out a breathless little laugh. He felt tears pricking at his eyes and he felt an overwhelming amount of joy and love fill his chest.

           He was going to have a baby. His and Eddie’s baby.

           He swiped a hand over his face, as if that could erase the huge grin that was there, before he carried the test downstairs. Bobby stood up abruptly and Athena just watched him carefully.

           “I’m pregnant,” Buck said and let out another laugh as he held up the test. His grin only seemed to grow, and he ducked his head.

           “I think you should tell Eddie, Buck,” Bobby said carefully. Buck looked up at him and nodded.

           “I know,” Buck said and some of his nerves came back. “I just… this wasn’t planned.” Buck and Eddie hadn’t even really talked about having kids. The mention of it being a possibility in the future had been kicked around, but there was no definitive answer to it. Their lives were hectic, and Eddie had his hands full already with Christopher- Buck sucked in a sharp breath and immediately Bobby and Athena were steadying him with a hand on his shoulder each.

           “Deep breath, Buckaroo,” Athena said and swiped her thumb over his collarbone. “Everything’s gonna be alright.”

           “What if Eddie doesn’t want the baby?” Buck asked and then winced a little. It was a harsh assumption, but Buck couldn’t help but jump to the worst-case scenario. He needed to be prepared.

           “You’ve got to talk to him before you can go there,” Bobby said. “One step at a time, right?” Bobby gave Buck a look until Buck nodded. “Alright. This is definitely not something you can just mention over the phone. So, what’s the plan?”

           Buck thought for a moment and then it seemed to click. “I’ve got to call my Endo and OB first.” Buck scratched at the back of his neck. “I don’t think it’s wrong, but the test could be a false negative. I’ll see if they can squeeze me in later today or early tomorrow since Eddie and Chris are supposed to come over tomorrow afternoon. I’ll talk to him then when I know a little more.”

           Athena hummed. “Sounds like a good plan, Buck. Are you sure you want to do all of this alone?”

           “I’ll be okay,” Buck said and he was starting to believe it. “Thank you both for coming over here.”

           “Any time you need us, Buck, you know we’re one call away,” Bobby said and pulled Buck in for a tight hug.

           “I know,” Buck said into Bobby’s shoulder. When Bobby pulled away, Athena pulled him into a hug as well and pressed a kiss to his cheek before pulling away.

           “Well, we’ll leave you to it, but you call,” Athena said seriously and leveled him with a stern look. Buck nodded with a soft smile. “Promise me, Buck.”

           “I promise, Athena,” Buck said and she reached out to give his hand a squeeze.

           “Congratulations,” Bobby said and smiled brightly at Buck. “You and Eddie are going to be great dads. You already are.”

           Buck felt a lump form in his throat. “Thanks, Bobby.”

           Buck walked them to the door of his apartment and waved when they glanced back at him. He closed the door and then leaned back against it, letting out a slow breath. “Alright, Buckley. Let’s do this.”

…..

           Buck had managed to get an appointment for the OB and after a few tests and a quick ultrasound, everything was completely, without a doubt official. Buck traced his fingers over the little smudge that was his kid.

           He’d already planned everything out on how he was going to tell Eddie. The closer that it got to Eddie and Christopher arriving, the more Buck got nervous. Unconsciously, he swiped his thumb over the still-flat plane of his stomach. He really hoped that Eddie didn’t react badly, and he worried that Christopher wasn’t going to want or accept another sibling.

           He swallowed thickly and was startled out of his worrying by the sound of the lock turning. Buck smiled as Christopher came in with that bright smile of his. “Hey, buddy,” Buck said and leaned his hip against the counter.

           “Hi, Buck,” Christopher said and made his way over to give Buck a hug.

           “Hey, babe,” Eddie said and leaned up to give Buck a kiss. The easiness between them helped to soothe some of Buck’s frayed nerves.

           “I was thinking that we could go out to the park,” Buck said and combed his fingers through Christopher’s hair.

           “What do you think, Superman?” Eddie asked and Christopher nodded.

           “I think it’ll be fun,” Christopher said.

           “Alright then, why don’t you go put your stuff in the living room?” Eddie asked and held out Chris’s backpack for him to take. Once Christopher was out of earshot, Eddie turned to Buck with a furrow between his brows. “What’s got you all riled up then?” Buck let out a soft breath, of course Eddie could see how wound up and nervous he was.

           “I got you something,” Buck said and leaned over to snag the box he’d left on the island. It was a bracelet box that Buck had taken the velvet lining out of and covered in wrapping paper with a neatly tied bow.

           “What’s the occasion?” Eddie asked, carefully unknotting the bow in the ribbon and setting it aside.

           “Just… open it and you’ll find out,” Buck said and bit his lip.

           Eddie ripped open the paper and set it down before opening up the box. Nestled inside was the positive pregnancy test. Eddie froze the second he’d opened the box enough to see what it was and read it. “Buck…”

           “Surprise,” Buck said weakly and with Eddie’s head ducked down to look at the contents of the box, Buck couldn’t read what he was thinking. Eddie set the box aside slowly and suddenly Buck wondered if it had been a bad idea to spring it on him like that. “Eddie, say something. Please.”

           Buck let out a breath as he noticed hazel eyes brimming with tears. “I love you,” Eddie said, and he stepped into Buck’s space to kiss him fiercely. Buck felt the tension in his shoulders relax as he leaned into Eddie’s chest. Eddie’s hands are resting on his waist, as usual, but there’s something different about it now. There’s an added layer of care and reverence to his touch.

           “You’re excited?” Buck asks tentatively when Eddie finally lets him break away from the kiss.

           “Yes, yes I am definitely excited,” Eddie said and laughed brightly. Then his smile faltered. “Did you think I’d be upset?”

           Buck chewed his lip. “We never really talked about any of this,” Buck said in lieu of a more definitive answer. “A baby is going to be a lot on top of everything else.”

           “It will be,” Eddie said and he pressed his thumb into the small of Buck’s back, “but there’s no one I’d rather do it with.” Buck couldn’t help himself, he ducked down and kissed Eddie softly.

           “What’s going on?”

           They both turned to see Christopher frowning a little. Eddie pulled away from Buck to go and kneel down in front of Chris. He glanced over his shoulder at Buck and Buck just nodded as he walked over to stand next to Eddie. “Well, kid,” Eddie said and wrapped an arm around Christopher. “Buck just told me something really exciting.”

           Chris brightened up immediately and wiggled a little in Eddie’s hold. “What is it? Can I know?”

           “Yeah, buddy,” Buck said, and he smoothed a hand over Christopher’s hair.

           “How would you feel if I told you that you were going to be a big brother?” Eddie asked and there was a pause as Eddie’s words sank in. Buck and Eddie had already had the talk about Buck being trans and what that meant, so Christopher knew exactly what Eddie was saying.

           “Really? Am I going to get a little sister like Denny?” Christopher asked and he was practically vibrating with excitement.

           “Or a little brother,” Buck said and his cheeks ached with how much he was smiling.

           “When will they get here? What will they look like? Will they look like me or will they look more like Buck?” Christopher asked, already full of questions.

           “I don’t know what the baby will look like, we won’t know until they get here and maybe even until they get a little bigger,” Buck said and crouched down so he was level with Christopher. “But the baby will get here while you’re on summer break. So you’ll have plenty of time to spend with them when they get here. How does that sound?”

           “Good!” Christopher said with that 1000-watt smile of his. It quickly turned into a frown. “But where will the baby live? With you, or with us at home?” Buck opened his mouth and then closed it. Another small issue in the vast ocean of small issues that he and Eddie hadn’t ever discussed about this whole situation.

           “Well, I’m thinking,” Eddie started carefully and turned to look at Buck, “that it would be really cool if Buck comes and lives with us. So then, when the baby gets here, they’ll both get to live with us.”

           “Yeah?” Buck asked, and if he sounded a little choked up, he would blame it on pregnancy hormones.

           “Yeah,” Eddie said and reached out to swipe a thumb over Buck’s cheekbone.

           “I like that plan,” Christopher said with a nod of approval. Buck laughed at that, ducking his head to hide the fact that he probably had tears in his eyes.

           “Yeah, me too.”

           “Alright then,” Eddie said and he stood up, offering Buck a hand up as well. “I’m thinking this definitely deserves a nice day at the park to celebrate.”

           “Me too!” Christopher chimed in.

           “Well then let’s go,” Buck said and ruffled Christopher’s hair playfully.

…..

           That night, after he and Eddie had put Christopher to bed back at the Diaz house- their home- and were laying in bed, Buck glanced over at Eddie. “If you’re not ready for me to move in, I don’t have to. The baby’s going to change a lot of things but-”

           “Buck, don’t be ridiculous. I’m not going to leave you alone with the baby, or make you have to run back and forth between your apartment and here- unless that’s what you want to do,” Eddie said and turned onto his side to look at Buck. He took a deep breath and glanced away from Buck’s face. “I wasn’t there when Christopher was a baby, that was my choice, and I regret it. I want to be there for everything if you’ll let me.”

           Buck nodded and he let out a shaky breath. “Yeah, I want that. All of it.” Buck sniffed and then he remembered the second part of his surprise that he had totally forgotten about. “Hold on a second.” Buck got out of bed and he pulled the ultrasound from his wallet.

           He laid back in bed before handing it over. Eddie rolled onto his back so that the light from the bedside lamp would catch the paper better. It mostly looked like a smudge on the paper, but it made everything so real. Eddie smiled and he ran his thumb over the image. “Should get it framed,” Eddie said absently and Buck let out a short laugh. “What?”

           “Why don’t we wait to get one framed that actually looks like a baby?” Buck asked and shook his head.

           “It looks like a baby,” Eddie protested and shifted closer. “See?” He held out the photo so Buck could see it, as if Buck hadn’t been staring at it ever since it’d been printed.

           “It looks like a lima bean,” Buck laughed and Eddie’s nose wrinkled up in affront.

           “That’s our kid you’re talking about.”

           “I never said it wasn’t a special lima bean.”

           “Oh shut up.”

           “You can’t tell me to shut up, I’m pregnant.”

           “You can’t use that as your excuse for the next eight months!”

           “I can and I will, because you know what?”

           “What?”

           “You did this to me.”

           “Go to sleep, Buck.”

           “Love you too, Eddie.”