#in which Dracula is a Picky conscripting horror

[see-arcane]

Jonathan: "Sir, as much fun as these months of Vampire Hell Staycation have been, I'd really appreciate not getting undeaded and bound for all eternity as another bloodthirsty addition to the castle. The love of my life is waiting for me and I would literally rather be dead than be part of your Polycule (Evil Edition (tm)). Can you please not drink me?"

Dracula, fangs already out: 👀💦

Lucy: "Any chance you could quit abusing my medical condition and siphoning my blood so I can stop waking in tears and maybe not be conscripted as your first conquest on English soil like a cadaverous trophy bride? I'm about to get married to the man I love and begin my life in earnest. So, like. Stop? Please?"

Dracula, bat-flapping to her window: 👀💦

Renfield: "Hello! Hi! I'm right here, ready and willing to get exsanguinated into life-chugging immortality! You won't find a more willing set of arteries in the country! Throat's right here! Drink up!"

Dracula: