#in which harrowhark communicates with her 200

[griddleharkakalockedtombbrainrot]

New on fanfics I will probably never write:

In which I return to my initial idea where Harrow is going through a time loop with added spice: she's over 400 cycles in, has seen pretty much everything, and just goes totally renegade. She deadass looks her parents in the eye and says, "The Emperor can go fuck himself. If he's so afraid of what's in the Tomb, he should guard it himself." She also communicates with the two hundred souls inside her, figures out how to wander the River without needing to be a Lyctor. She fucking makes friends with the Resurrection Beasts. She tells her entire House to go to hell and essentially blackmailed everyone into treating Gideon better, if not well. She pretends to be indifferent without the rancor in the books, so basically, she's like, "Nothing matters. Griddle, I don't care about anything anymore." Then she turns around and makes sure Gideon gets enough food, keeps Crux from harming her, makes sure she gets what she needs, and just generally treats her well in a vague, "I have the emotional awareness of s pickle jar way," and Gideon is super confused but also concerned, so ends up attached to Harrow anyway. They get the invite to the Lyctor trials, and Harrow mutters, "how pointless," and basically asks Gideon if she wants to leave the planet by pretending to be her cavalier. She can join the Cohort if it pleases her once they're off planet. Gideon goes, "???" But stays because she can tell Harrow is actively going out of her way to create a train wreck and wants to know why. No one is prepared. Especially when Cytherea attempts to kill Harrow and Harrow pulls off a few things that definitely should not be possible. And Harrow is just totally nonchalant about everything.

Oh, and the RBs once in Harrow’s head will become the most batshit insane peanut gallery. To the point where Harrow is going to ask aloud, “Can’t a girl talk to the voices in her head without having them talk back for once?” Unfortunately, Palamedes overhears and is Concerned. Because he has been watching her try increasingly off the wall shit and succeed, when logic says it should fail horribly, as in brains-splattered-on-the-wall horribly. So he’s just internally screaming the entire time and trying to help Gideon keep her necromancer from dying or some shit. And like, basically, Harrow always makes sure she gets the worst of things and the others get out of situations with minor scrapes and scratches while she coughs up half her body weight in blood and says she’s fine. 

Gideon is simping over Harrow, and Harrow fails to notice this. 

Harrow, after saving Dulcinea from Cytherea: “I am the worst trash in existence.”

Dulcinea: “No, you’re not??”

Harrow, casually flipping over the entire empire, saving lives regardless of whether they’re BoE or Cohort: I have no regard for human life. I am an abomination.

Gideon, We Suffer, everyone else: No??]

And Alecto is awake and just literally chilling and watching Harrow wreck shit and only stepping in when it looks like Harrow might actually die.