#initially para didn’t know how to feel about it and was just generally surprised by it bc’s aba’s weirdness is usually overt and intense

[artoriarts]

I think that being alone in frasco made aba a very sensory-oriented person. and that translates a lot into how she shows affection, especially given paracelsus, while he can be hugged or kissed or humped, can’t really reciprocate too terribly much and probably doesn’t feel it as vividly or in the same way as those of biological body. basically what I’m saying is aba does asmr for paracelsus as a form of intimacy

[aerynwrites]

The Devil You Know - Part 4

Figuring Things Out

(Gif by: @pedroispunk)

Author’s Note: Finally! Here is Chapter 4. I really really hope you guys enjoy this chapter because I had so much fun writing this you have no idea. I would really love to hear what you guys think about this chapter, and the series in general, hearing your feedback really helps keep me motivated to keep writing!

Word Count: 5.8k (oopsie)

Warnings: blood, canon typical violence, slight NSFW themes, fluff.

As always spanish to english translations are located at the bottom. (I do not speak spanish, so I am sorry for any formalities or things i got wrong)

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////

In the past week, it feels like nothing was going your way. You and Steve had made a considerable amount of headway in the investigation against the Los Carnales cartel, having gained some valuable info on the inner workings of the cartel and how they operated. However, just as good things started to happen, another problem seemed to crop up. It all pretty much started a few days after your date with Javier. An unknown group was on a violent streak in the area – market shootings, assassinations of important figures, and even bombings had started to crop up out of nowhere. The only conclusion that either you or Steve could come to was that they were part of the cartel – perhaps out to cause trouble in order to distract you and the Embassy from the bigger picture. But you weren’t having it, they were not about to stop you from taking the cartel down, not now. Which is why you ended up with Carrillo’s men at the town hall several blocks away.

Colonel Carrillo had received intel that the town hall was the next target of a bombing – and you all intended to stop it. And it seemed like you would, as you pulled up to the town hall just in time to see a small group of men crouched by the side of the building. The caravan screeched to  a halt in front of the building starling the men, just as You, Steve, and the Search Bloc exited your vehicles. At the sight of you all, the men scattered, running in all different directions.

You weren’t going to lose them.

“Steve with me!” you call to your partner, taking off to the right and following one of the men who bolted.

The man didn’t argue, just followed in your footsteps as you pursued the runner down various alleyways. It feels like a maze as you continue to chase after him, until you and Steve round the corner to a dead end, seeing the man flounder for an escape but unable to find one. You can feel your frustration from the past week bubble up inside you, along with your aggravation from the chase, and it fuels your actions as you stalk towards the man, gun aimed towards him as you approach.

“¡Manos donde pueda verlos pendejo!” you call, watching in slight surprise as he actually complies with your order.

He raises his hands above his head as you continue to approach, Steve comes with you and he cuffs him as you keep your gun aimed at the stranger until he’s securely apprehended. You drop your weapon slightly, guard still up, and walk until you’re only a few paces away.

“¿Por qué estabas en el Ayuntamiento?” you snap, voice harsh, “¿Para quién trabajas, eh?”

The man, who you quickly realize is quite young, probably only in his late twenties, rolls his eyes before spitting at your feet, “No te estoy diciendo nada, cerdo.”

It’s like his words cause the very thin string in you to finally snap, because before you can stop yourself, you are reaching forward and grasping the front of his shirt in your fist. You yank him from Steve’s grip and turn around, shoving him forward roughly. He stumbles, falling to the ground hard before rolling over onto his back, sending you a glare.

You take a few threatening steps forward, gun still lowered until you are standing at his feet, “si quieres salir de aquí, me vas a dar algo imbécil,” you say, your tone leaving nothing up for negotiation, as your patience starts to run thin.

However, he doesn’t seem to get the message, because instead of giving you an answer, he kicks his feet out in an attempt to knock you down. But you saw this coming and stepped out of the way before raising your gun.

“Wrong answer.”

Before either Steve or the perp on the ground could say anything, you pull the trigger on your pistol sending a round into the ground just inches from the man’s head, making concrete fly into the air. The man shrieks, and before you know it Steve is by your side hand on your weapon pushing it to the side forcefully.

“What the fuck was that?” he grinds out, eyes searching your face, a tinge of worry on his features.

You huff, “I’m trying to get answers, Steve! And if this asshole won’t give them to us, then I’ll make him,” you hiss, pushing your partner out of the way and stalking towards your target.

You don’t get very far before the man is holding his cuffed hands up, fear in his eyes, “No, no, por favor –“ he begs, “Por favor, no me mates, te diré lo que quieras, por favor.”

You don’t holster your weapon, ”¿Trabajas para el cartel, Los carnales?”

The man shakes his head violently, “No, señora. Estábamos con el cártel, pero nos fuimos. Queríamos hacer las cosas a su manera – el camino fuerte.”

Your eyes widen at the information, and you finally – slowly – holster your pistol, just as Carrillo enters the alleyway, a few of his men with him.

“What the hell happened?” he asked, “We heard a gunshot.”

You shook your head, “it was nothing,” you lie, seeing Steve roll his eyes in your periphery before turning your attention back to Carrillo, “Take him in,” you point to the man still on the ground, “He can give us more information. This group isn’t cartel like we thought, they used to be with the cartel, but they left. And they left for a reason,” you say.

Steve steps forward at this point, “So he could tell us why, and probably where the rest of the rogues are holed up,” he states, piecing together the situation.

Carrillo nods, turning back to his men and barking a few orders. They pick the man up and lead him away as Carrillo turns towards you, for once a hopeful look in his eye, “Good work. Maybe we can stop them before they do more damage,” he says, shaking your and Steve’s hand before returning the way they came.

You moved to follow after him, but a hand on your wrist stopped you. you turn to see Steve, brows furrowed together as he stares at you.

“What Steve?” you sigh, fully aware of what he was going to say.

“What the fuck was that?” he snaps, “You don’t even like being in the same building when Carrillo’s is questioning people, yet here you were ready to shoot someone – an unarmed someone – in the middle of the street.”

You yank your hand out of his grasp immediately defensive, “I did what I had to do Steve, we got answers didn’t we?” you sneer, turning to head back to the caravan, “come on. Before we get left behind.”

You hear Steve let out a frustrated sigh, before his footsteps followed you. you wouldn’t admit it, but your actions scared you. You never intended to almost blow the guy’s head off. You’ve never gotten that violent with an assailant before, so what has changed? This investigation, this cartel, Carlos’s death, it was all starting to have an effect on you.

What is happening to you?

***

It was nearing the end of the day as You and Steve started planning a raid of the rogue’s hide out. Carrillo had easily managed to get the information out of the man you had caught, finding out that the group was using a small house on the outskirts of the city as their base of operations. That left you and Steve the responsibility of planning the logistics of the raid, Carrillo would come in to help tomorrow.

“Hello?” Steve’s voice called, snapping you from your distracted state.

“Hmm?” you hummed, looking up from the papers on your desk to your partner who was giving you a somewhat concerned look.

“Are you okay?” he asks, “You’ve been out of it lately…you seem off,” he finally states, words laced with concern.

He wasn’t wrong. You had been out of sorts the past few weeks, unable to sleep properly ever since the shooting in the market. Ever since Carlos. When you did manage to find sleep, it was plagued with nightmares, images of Carlos lying on the ground or even Steve being the one on the floor instead. The lack of sleep was all starting to catch up with you, and evidently it was showing. Both in your actions today and in your life in general.

You let out a small sigh, “I’m fine Steve,” you begin, “I’ve just been distracted lately, this case has been…getting to me. That’s all,” you reply flippantly, deciding not to worry our partner with your personal problems. You’re sure he has plenty of his own to worry about, no need to add your issues on top.

Steve doesn’t seem entirely convinced, still obviously upset by your earlier display and so attuned to you by now after being partners for so long – but he sighs and lets it go.

“Well no better way to get your mind off of things than a few drinks, right?” he asks dropping his pen and looking at his watch, “Connie and I were going to go and grab some drinks after work. You should come,” he looks at you expectantly.

You mull over his proposition for a moment. You had intended on going back to your place – possibly seeing if Javier wanted to get together again, but maybe you could go for a drink instead. It sounded a lot more fun than moping around your apartment.

So, you nod, “Sure. Is it okay if I invite a friend though?” you ask, not wanting to intrude on Steve’s plans.

A mischievous look crosses your partners face as he wiggles his eyebrows, “hmm, a friend huh? How come I’ve never heard of this friend before now?” he teases, leaning back in his chair and putting his hands behind his head.

You feel your face flush at his jests, you open your mouth to speak, your initial reaction to say that Javier was more than just a friend, but you stopped yourself. You stopped because you weren’t even sure if that was true. Obviously, what you and Javier had was more than just friendship, but neither of you had put a label on it yet – so what were you really? Fuck buddies, friends with benefits? You shook your head – you would have to figure this out later.

“I didn’t think it was important,” you shrug, “We’ve only known each other for a couple of weeks. Our jobs keep us busy.”

Steve just hums, before standing from his seat, “Okay well, I have to go pick up Connie and then I’ll see you and your friend at the bar,” he says, grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair and heading towards the door.

You rolled your eyes at your partner before leaning forward and picking the phone up off the receiver to call Javier. You felt the all too familiar feeling of butterflies in your stomach as you dialed his number and waited for his answer. You all had talked a few times since your date, but you haven’t met up since – you both had been busy with work. You were chasing the rogue cartel members while Javier was dealing with his family’s plantation. At least that’s what he told you.

Little did you know, he was also trying to deal with the rogues that left his cartel and stole his goods. He had caught a few of them – making sure they understood the repercussions of their actions. Maybe if he was a little…louder in his methods of dealing with the traitors, no one would try to undermine him again. He was actually in the middle of discussing the rogue members movements with his men when his phone started ringing. He sighed, pulling the cigarette from his lips and snuffing it out in the ash tray before answering the phone.

“Buenos,” He mumbled into the receiver, hoping to make this conversation quick.

“Javi?” your sweet voice asked through the receiver, and he immediately sat up straighter, snapping at his men and pointing them out of the room. The obeyed without question.

“Bonita?” he asked, when his men were out of earshot, “Is something wrong?”

His heart sped up a little when your bubbling laughter reached his ears, “No, nothing’s wrong,” you reassure, “I was calling to see if you were free, actually.”

Javier didn’t answer right away, he was too busy trying to get his racing heart to slow and quell the feeling in his belly. He hadn’t asked for more dates or meet ups since the one a few weeks ago for a reason. He was still trying to gather himself, still trying to figure out what the hell he had gotten himself into. He was trying to figure out if it was even a good idea to still be around you anymore – it was all too confusing, too complicated for him to logically continue this way. yet, no matter how hard he tried, he felt drawn to you. He found himself eagerly awaiting phone calls from you, waiting to hear your voice and your laugh, to see your smile – and this worried him.

“Are you still there?” you voice spoke timidly.

Javier shook his head, as if that would somehow expel the thoughts from his mind and sat forward in his chair letting out a loud sigh, “Yeah I’m here.”

It’s like you could hear his inner turmoil, because before he could continue, you were speaking again, “if you’re not that’s fine –“ your words were spoken quickly, the words jumbling over themselves as you continued to ramble, “I just – my partner and his wife were going to get some drinks in a little bit and asked if I wanted to come and – and well I just thought that maybe you would want to come?” he could hear the hopefulness in your words despite the winded explanation, and he opened his mouth to respond but you beat him to it again.

“But I know you’re probably busy, and this is so last minute, I should have known-“

“Hey, hey slow down,” he cut off your rambling, voice amused yet firm, “I would love to come,” he said, and he meant it.

He just couldn’t stay away from you, and plus, one more night out wouldn’t hurt anything.

“Great! That’s –“ he heard you take in a deep breath, “That’s great, I’ll see you there – It’s the bar we usually go to,” you say, voice light and filled with relief.

“Okay,” he said, “I’m out at the plantation right now so it will take me a bit to get into town, but I’ll start heading that way.”

“okay, drive safe,” you tell him.

Javier smiles at your words, amused at your small show of concern for him, “I will. see you soon princesa.”

He then pulls the phone away from his ear and set it back down into its cradle, a large smile lingering on his lips.

God, what has he done to himself?

***

“So,” Connie begins, taking a sip from her drink, “What is this friend of your like?” she asks, curiosity lacing her words.

Steve took this opportunity to jump in as well, “Yes, please enlighten us on the details of this friend you never told us about.”

You roll your eyes. You, Steve, and Connie had arrived at the bar about half an hour ago and you had managed to avoid the topic of Javier until now. But it seems their curiosity got the better of them, so you decided to give in.

“Well I met him here actually,” you inform, reaching out and taking a few peanuts from the bowl on the table and popping them in your mouth, “it was the day we got the Cartel case. I came to celebrate, and he struck up a conversation with me.”

Connie’s leaned forward, resting her chin in her hand, “Is he handsome?”

You saw Steve roll his eyes as he took a swig of his beer, before you answered her question, “Yes Connie,” you giggle, “He’s quite easy on the eyes,” you then feel a flush creep up your cheeks and you start to pick at a thread on the dress you had changed into, “Not too bad in the more…physical realm either,” you mumble.

You hear Connie let out a high pitch giggle at your comment just as Steve lets out a low groan and stands from his seat, “And that’s my cue to go get more drinks – you guys are terrible,” he chastises playfully walking over to the bar to get more drinks for the table.

Connie immediately leans into the table, voice lowered slightly as her eyes sparkled with mischief, “So…Spill!”

If your face wasn’t flushed already, you knew it had to be red as a tomato now, “I’m not just going to talk about my sexual exploits Connie!”

She whines, “Why not? I need details! I’ve been with Steve forever – and while he is far from disappointing –“

You wave your hands in the air and make an exaggerated gagging noise, “Connie stop. Oh my god I do not need to know about my partners sex life, please.”

She just lets out a loud laugh and takes another sip of her drink, “Come on – Please?” she practically begs, “Is he like totally vanilla? Or is he into to other things?”

You cover your face with your hands, “Connie, please!”

She shakes her head, “I’m not gonna stop until you give me something. so is he-“

You finally plant your hands firmly on the table, “Oh my god okay!” you whisper shout, “no he’s not totally vanilla, yes he’s into other stuff, and before you ask because I know you will – Yes he is above average. Are you happy now?” you huff, the heat of embarrassment creeping up your neck.

You expect the woman to throw even more questions at you but instead you see her hand over her mouth, stifling laughter as she looks behind you.

“So,” a familiar baritone fills your ears, “I’m above average, huh?”

You slowly turned to the side, seeing Javier standing just to the side and behind you, a smug grin on his face and a sparkle in his eye. If the earth were to open up beneath you right now, you would have gladly dived in headfirst. Your skin was hot with embarrassment as Javier leaned over and pressed a kiss to your lips before sliding into the booth next to you.

“How much of that did you hear exactly?” you mumbled.

Javier just chuckled and slid his arm around your waist and pressed another kiss to your temple, his lips ghosting over your ear, “Oh, I heard enough,” he whispered, breath warm as it fanned over your already heated skin.

You wanted to shrink down into your seat, but Javier didn’t give you time to dwell in your embarrassment as he extended his hand to Connie, “Javier. It’s nice to meet you – although it sounds like you already know who I am,” he introduces, voice teasing.

Connie takes his hand in her own politely, “Well actually she hadn’t even told me your name yet,” she says, sending a playful wink your way and letting Javier take his hand back.

Javier just gave you an amused look, “you didn’t even tell her my name before you told her all about my –“

You cut him off, pointing an accusing finger at Connie, “She was the one who asked!” you cried, “I didn’t even want to have this discussion.”

“What discussion?” Steve’s voice asked, returning to the table with drinks in hand.

“Oh, Steve thank god-“ you whine, “Please save me from your wife and the trouble she has caused me.”

Steve just laughs, and sets the drinks down before sliding into the booth, his eyes landing on Javier as he passes the drinks around, “Hey man, I hope you like whiskey, because that’s what I’ve got,” he said, offering a glass of amber liquid to Javier.

He just nods, taking the glass from Steve’s hand and pulling his arm from around your waist to offer it to Steve, “My favorite, actually,” he says, shaking hands with Steve firmly, “Javier. And you must be Steve.”

Your partner smiles and nods, casting a glance your way, “That’s me,” he takes a sip of his drink, “Hope missy over there hasn’t told you all bad things.”

You chuckle at his words and felt the butterflies return as Javi gives one of his own laughs and returns his arm to your waist, “Not all bad things,” he jests, “but she’s told me some pretty good stories.”

The night goes on like this, just the four of you talking and catching up as if you were all old friends. It was a comforting feeling, knowing that Javier seemed to fit right in with you and the people you cared about. It was all so…domestic – and it brought your thoughts from earlier back. what was this between you and Javier? Despite not having an answer, you found yourself wanting more. More of this…whatever this was. And the fact that Javier had gotten more handsy as the night drew on wasn’t helping this feeling.

“So, what is it you do for work Javier?” Steve asked, pulling a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offering one to the man next to you.

He graciously accepts and pulls his arm from around you to grab his lighter. He puts the stick between his lips and opens his lighter, igniting the cigarette and storing his lighter away.

“My family owns a coffee bean plantation on the outskirts of town. I’m in charge of the managerial side of things – exports, profits, shipping, stuff like that,” he explains.

You expected him to wrap his arm around you again but are caught off guard when instead his hand falls to your thigh, his fingers creeping under the hem of your dress slightly. suddenly you were very happy you decided to go home and change before meeting the group at the bar.

You tried to pay attention to the conversation, dropping in when you had something to add, but you found it harder and harder to focus with his hand on you. He would switch from rubbing soothing circles in your skin to gliding his hand up and down, stopping a little higher each time. Eventually after several torturous moments of this, his hand rested a little too high for your comfort and you shot up from your seat slightly.

“I-uh,” you stumbled over your words, “I’m gonna go get more drinks. Do you guys want anymore?” you ask, sending a playful glare to Javier asking him to move so you could get out.

They all nodded their confirmation as Javier slid from the booth to let you out. He helped you stand before returning to his seat, sending you a playful wink as you walked to the bar.

That coy bastard. He knew what he was doing to you, and he was proud of it. You stuck your tongue out at him playfully and watch as his shoulders shook with laughter as he returned to his conversation.

You finally made it up to the bar and waved the bartender down, ordering your drinks. You waited patiently for him to make some other customers drinks before he got to yours. You leaned your elbows on the bar, leaning forward just slightly as you waited, when suddenly you felt a presence at your side – a little too close for comfort. You turned and you saw an unfamiliar man standing next to you, eyes unabashedly roaming your figure.

“Te ves bien esta noche Chica,” He called, eyes never leaving your body.

You scoff and turn away from him, silently begging the bartender to hurry up. That is until you felt a harsh grip on your upper arm.

“Oye, te estoy hablando bruja,” his voice snaps, turning you harshly to face him.

“¡Suéltame cabrón!” you snarl, trying to pry his hand from you.

But before you can shove him off, he’s pulling you closer to him his free hand coming down to grab your ass, “¿Por qué?” His breath is warm and reeks of alcohol as it fans over your face, “Apuesto a que podría follarte mejor que ese pendejo de ahí” he breathes, making your stomach churn as he shoves his nose into your neck.

You push at him even harder now, “Get your fucking hands off of me!” you shout, the last word coming out high pitched as he groped you harder.

Before you even realized what was happening, the man was being ripped off of you and thrown to the ground and Connie and Steve were by your side, questions spilling from their lips – asking if you were okay and what had happened. But you couldn’t focus, your eyes were glued to the scene in front of you as Javier stood over the man who assaulted you, his shirt gripped fiercely in one hand while the other laid blow after sickening blow to the man’s face. You heard shouts from the other patrons in the bar and it finally broke you from your stupor. You pulled out of your friends grasp and moved towards Javier, who was still beating the absolute shit out of the guy while cursing at him.

“No la tocas, ¿me oyes?” he yelled, every other word enunciated by another blow.

You finally reach them and lunge for Javier, hands wrapping forcefully around his arm before he can hit the man again, “Javier stop!” you shouted.

But he didn’t stop, he just pulled his arm from your grip and continued beating the guy, and at this point a small seed of fear planted itself in your chest. The feral look on Javi’s face and the utter ruthlessness in his actions worried you. He was going to kill this man.

You looked back at Steve quickly, eyes begging for help, and he seemed to get the message. He rushed forward, and with your combined strength, you were able to pull Javier away from the man. You heard the bartender yell at you all to get out and you didn’t argue, glancing back and seeing the man unconscious on the floor as a few people crowded around him. once you were to the door of the bar, Javier roughly shrugged from your and Steve’s grip and shoved the doors open. You winced at the sound of them slamming against the wall before following him out.

You turned behind you, seeing that Connie had thoughtfully managed to grab all of your things from the table before you were kicked out, and you took your purse from her.

“I’m so sorry,” you say looking from them back to Javier who was lighting another cigarette and taking a long drag, “You guys should go home, I’ll talk to him.”

Steve looked at you warily, “Are you sure you want to be alone with him? After what he just did?”

You put a reassuring hand on his arm, giving it a small squeeze, “He won’t hurt me Steve, I promise.”

He glanced from you to the man a few feet away before sighing and pulling you into a hug, “okay,” he said, and you moved to give Connie a hug as well before stepping back slightly, “I’ll see you at work tomorrow,” Steve said, tugging Connie closer to him and turning to walk back to their car.

You let out a small sigh before turning around to go to Javier – this was not how this night was supposed to go. As you approach him you see that he has calmed down slightly, the only thing off about him is the hand holding his cigarette is shaking, blood and bruising covering his knuckles. He speaks before you can, stepping towards you as one hand cradles your face.

“Are you okay, Querida?” he asks gently, his eyes dancing across your face for any indication that you were harmed.

You shake your head and take his hand in yours, removing it from your cheek, “What was that Javier?” you question.

His lips fell into a firm line and he clenched his jaw for a moment before pulling the cigarette to his mouth and taking a deep breath. you wait patiently, as he exhales the smoke slowly, eyes looking off into the distance.

“I just-“ he sighed, scratching his brow with his thumb, the smoldering stick held between his fingers, “when I saw what has happening – when I saw his hands all over you – touching you like that,” his voice is filled with disgust as he takes another drag, breathing out the smoke again, “It’s like I couldn’t stop myself, I just – He shouldn’t have touched you like that.”

As you watched him take one final drag before tossing the filter to the ground and squashing it, you couldn’t help the conflicted feelings that bubbled inside you. You were grateful to him, obviously, that man had assaulted you and who knows what would have happened if Javier hadn’t stepped in. He protected you, something that should make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Yet, as you looked at his bloodied hand and remembered the primal scene in the bar…you also felt scared. Javier absolutely lost it, and he was powerful, you saw that on full display. So why did you still feel drawn to him? you should tell him to get lost, that you never want to see him again, but words spill out of your mouth faster than you can stop them, as you take his injured hand in your gently.

“Come on,” you whisper, tugging him in the direction of your car, “Let’s at least get your hand taken care of.”

***

The car ride to your apartment was silent, neither of you saying a word until you entered your apartment and locked the door behind you. You wordlessly walked into the kitchen and Javier followed, watching as you dug around under the sink for the first aid kit. Once you had it in hand you walked over and pulled a stool out from under the island, pointing to it.

“Sit,” you command quietly, grabbing the disinfectant and gauze from the kit while he got situated.

Javier was silent for a while, a million thoughts running through his head as he watched you work. But the one that kept coming to the fore front of his mind was the one that bothered him most. He was worried he had ruined everything.

But why should he be? This is what he wanted after all – an excuse to get away from you and the feeling you stirred within him. however, the only thing he felt at the thought was an intense ache. He didn’t want to entertain the idea of never seeing you again, especially if it was because you were scared of him. He was surrounded by people that were scared of him every day, the citizens of this country were scared of him and they didn’t even know who he was. El Diablo is what they called him, the devil. He scoffed at the thought, and that seemed to catch your attention.

You glanced up from your work, catching his gaze before looking back down again, “Penny for you thoughts?”

He doesn’t answer right away, only speaking when you finish with his hand, tying the gauze into place and taking a step closer to him.

He finally looks up at you, your eyes level with his with him sitting down and you standing in front of him, “are you afraid? Of me?” his words are quiet and they rumble in his chest as he speaks.

Your eyes soften at his words, and you fold your arms in front of you loosely, shrugging your shoulders, “What you did was insane, Javi. It was – “ you chew on the inside of your cheek momentarily before continuing, “yeah, I was scared,” you breath.

You watch as he seems to deflate at your words so you step forward quickly, hands coming to rest on the back of his neck, “But I’m not afraid of you,” you assure, “I know you would never hurt me. At least I would hope not.”

His head snaps up at your words and he stands from his seat, taking your face in his hands firmly, “No, no, never,” he stressed, “I would never hurt you.”

He doesn’t let you respond, he just surges forward, connecting his lips to yours in a fierce kiss. It’s desperate and needy, as his lips clash with yours, and his tongue swipes along your lower lip. You don’t hesitate in allowing him entrance. Your mouths move against each other hungrily – like you both had been starved before this moment, every emotion either of you had held back was thrown into this kiss, this…declaration. His hands move from your face down your body until they land on your hips, squeezing harshly and earning a gasp from you. Your hands had moved up, fingers carding through his hair and tugging slightly just as his hands gave you another harsh grasp, and the groan he emits is sinful as he pulls away from you.

You can see what he wants, the desire plain as day in his eyes, and you want to say something, anything, but he attaches his lips to your neck and your brain seems to short circuit, failing to get the one question you have been holding onto all night past your lips. but the feeling of his fingers creeping under the hem of your sundress kick starts your brain again and you push at his shoulders lightly.

He pulls away immediately, worried eyes searching yours, “What’s wrong? Did I – “

“What is this?” you blurt out, the words spilling over your lips before you can stop them, causing a silence to hang in the air.

It was out. The question you had been thinking about all day - that had been plaguing your mind since your first date. And Javier didn’t know how to respond. His mind, previously foggy with lust and too many emotions he couldn’t identify, was now blank. He didn’t know how to answer, because he didn’t have one. What were you? were you friends?

No estúpido, you’re more than that.

Friends with benefits?

He shook his head at this thought. No, that wasn’t it either.

You pulled away from him slightly, “Javi?”

He looked up to you now, unable to miss the innocent hope in your eyes as you waited for his answer, so he shook his head again, closing his eyes momentarily before looking back up to you.

“What do you want us to be?”

///

Translations:

¡Manos donde pueda verlos pendejos! – hands where I can see them asshole!

¿Por qué estabas en el Ayuntamiento? – why were you at town hall?

¿Para quién trabajas, eh? – who do you work for, huh?

No te estoy diciendo nada, cerdo. – I’m not telling you anything, pig.

si quieres salir de aquí, me vas a dar algo imbécil – If you want to walk out of here, you’re going to give me something asshole.

Por favor, no me mates, te diré lo que quieras, por favor – Please don’t kill me, I’ll tell you whatever you want, please.

¿Trabajas para el cartel – Do you work for the cartel?

No, señora. Estábamos con el cártel, pero nos fuimos. Queríamos hacer las cosas a su manera – el camino fuerte. – No ma’am. We were with the cartel, but we left. We wanted to do things out own way – the loud way.

Te ves bien esta noche Chica – you look good tonight girl.

Oye, te estoy hablando bruja – hey, I’m talking to you bitch!

¡Suéltame cabrón! – Let go of me bastard!

Por Que – Why?

Apuesto a que podría follarte mejor que ese pendejo de ahí – I bet I could fuck you better than that asshole over there,

No la tocas, ¿me oyes? – you don’t fucking touch her. Do you hear me?

////

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[bexterbex]

A Soul to Mend His Own | Ch. 54

Warning, PLEASE CHECK TAGS IF YOU SEE SOMETHING YOU DON’T WANT TO READ THEN DON’T READ. Tag lists are closed

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Will tag as I go along, Will update tags, Slow Burn, Influenced by Star Trek and other Sci-Fi themes, References to We Happy Few, Tons of References and quotes to George Orwells 1984 see if you can find them all, The First Order is the new Big Brother,  but who is really surprised, Blatant Nazi Symbolism, Interrogation Themes, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Really just drawn out Slow Burn, Don’t repost without permission, Torture themes, Suggestive Themes, Execution themes, Disturbing Themes, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Controlling Kylo Ren, Physical Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Possessive Kylo Ren, A character shamelessly based on Zelda

A Kylo Ren x Modern! Reader in a soulmate au with some canon divergence. —————————————SLOWBURN————————————–

He is already the Supreme leader, searching the universe to find you, his Empress. Your name on his wrist has been the only constant in his life, while you have doubts about his existence and his acceptance of you. He isn’t in the database and why did the name Kylo Ren cover Ben Solo?

MASTERLIST

Chapter 54: Learning and Encouraging

The general placed your lunch order for you, stating there were specific things needed for your course. When the droid arrived it placed a rather elaborate place setting in front of you. Lots of silverware and glasses that you weren’t familiar with.

The general seemed to want to make sure everything was precise and forced you to maintain a straighter posture than normal, “Now m’lady it is important that you take such a lead at this formal dinner. Other than the Supreme Leader, you will be the next highest ranking person there.” He then started to show you by example how to do things.

“So everyone will be looking at me and judging me. Got it.” You instantly got nervous. You hated being the spectacle of everyone’s judgment.

“Now, now m’lady, they will simply be following your lead, as will the Supreme Leader. One of the reasons why you are learning such things is that he needs to be shown what to do, he will follow your example. He has been taught these things, but he tends to either ignore them or forget them. He will be searching your mind and following you at the dinner,” Hux informed you.

“Searching my mind? Like he will literally be following my lead? I don’t know if I like that.” Truly you didn’t, it rather creeped you out.  

“Well, m’lady it is either you or I, and I think he much prefers your mind versus mine. I can tell you that he does it anyway, if you know where to look you can feel him moving around in there.” He pointed to his head,  “You might find that it is a good way to communicate without alerting others. I have found it rather useful at times.”

You considered this for a moment. He was in your head? You knew he read your thoughts, but you assumed that he didn’t do it all the time. But now you thought twice about it. Could he see what Adlez and you were doing? Would it even work if he knew what you were trying to do? How good was his concentration? This was something you were going to have to test.

“Ok, so if I do this correctly then he will take my lead?” You weren’t sure if that was the best thing.

“Yes m’lady, but I might recommend that you rather overly think it when you do. Like yelling in your own mind or rather when you pick up a glass you need to truly think about picking up a glass or a fork. He will need to be led by you as to what to do, less we want to make fools of ourselves.” He then went through what each item was used for and in what order you were to use them.

You eventually got to actually eat your food, “But it is very important to note that anytime you get up from the table all males will stand with you,” said the general. “The Supreme Leader will probably initiate this. You do not have to stand when another woman gets up, but any male that does not stand for you is someone who is insulting you.”

“Do you have a feeling that someone might try to insult me?” This was not something you wanted to repeat, not after the last time.

“There may be some at the dinner that do not appreciate that your planet has not been in the last few galactic wars. And now it is reaping the benefit of the First Order’s graces without doing the work.” You could tell this was not his personal feelings, only possible opinions that he was relaying to you.

“Would they possibly be the same people who are in favor of General Pryde staying around?” You had a gut feeling.

The general did not answer exactly but shared a pointed smile with you as he turned back to eating his lunch. You got the message. You were about to fight an entirely different battle. One that Kylo wasn’t proficient in, one that you would lead on your side.

“They may also make snide remarks about you m’lady, so you best be prepared. Adlez and Olivia-Rose will make sure you are presentable. It will be best if there are no marks along your neck. While they may be something, the Supreme Leader enjoys, it will not be something appreciated by them less you be in a different position; like that of a courtesan and not a lady.” He pointed to his own neck, miming to where your marks were.

“We won’t have that,” stated Adlez. “If anything, that will be the women they call wives that they will bring along.” She seemed ready to take this battle for you. You wonder if it was ever insinuated that she was one in her previous marriage. High society women were known to be catty and backstabbing.

“Of course not, but Lady Ren may have to remind the Supreme Leader as to the purpose of covering herself up.” You could tell that both you and the general knew that he probably wouldn’t be happy with the decision to cover them up.

Your hand went to the mark behind your ear, the one he almost seemed to insist be there at all times. Not that the other marks didn’t mean anything, but this was the one he darkened and remarked every morning. You had a feeling that this was the one that would have to stay, his little mark of ownership over you. His signature, his brand.

“I will try to do so general, but perhaps we can find a dress that makes covering them less tedious?” You turned to your ladies with the question.

“I have just the dress in mind, m’lady. It will show off a bit of your back but almost nothing of your collarbone and what is shown will be easy to cover. One of your many beautiful floral dresses,” said Adlez.

“We are confident we can cover any mark, the Supreme Leader decides to leave,” said Olivia-Rose.

Both of them made you feel better, you were glad you had their company otherwise you would be all alone here. Floundering trying to make this all work, lost trying to find your new role. They were essential to your success.

After lunch, you all made your way up to the second level. You walked past the place where your drink from the other night had crashed. There was a stain in the carpet there. You stared at it for a moment before taking your spot. Adlez noticed the stain and walked back downstairs before coming back with a brush and a bottle of seltzer water, salt and a rag. She went to work lifting the stain if only she could do that to the memory.

The general informed you that you would be skipping around in order of lessons until the Supreme Leader informed him that you were to do some of the others he had in mind.

Ch. 19: The Chaperon and Other Conventions

Ch. 27 Part 1: Notes and Shorter Letters (para. 1-24)

Ch. 27 Part 2: Notes and Shorter Letters (para. 25-59)

Ch. 27 Part 3: Notes and Shorter Letters (para. 60-97)

Ch. 27 Part 4: Notes and Shorter Letters (para. 98-140)

Ch. 27 Part 5: Notes and Shorter Letters (chart How to Address Important Personages - to end)

Ch. 28: Longer Letters

“Once you are officially introduced as the First Lady, Lady Ren of the First Order and because you are not married to the Supreme Leader at any official events, you are not to go off alone with him. I believe the Supreme Leader has designated myself as your official chaperon at the dinner. You will also take up some duties, including some official correspondences with some of our allies. When we get closer to the dinner the Supreme Leader and I will sit down with you and go over your new duties,” the general then stood and folded his arms neatly behind his back.

So you were not only were you and he going to be watched by everyone, you couldn’t be alone together for five minutes. You were also going to be given new duties and responsibilities. Part of you was happy because you were going to be trusted with things, but part of you was dreading having to possibly do something you didn’t want to do.

“It is also recommended that for the next few meals following up to the dinner that you follow that same set up to practice your etiquette. It should now be set up on your meal preference list to eat this way. Even though the Supreme Leader will probably just follow you, it may not hurt to have him eat like that with you beforehand,” you could tell that the general was giving you a hint. You would agree that Kylo had some manners to work on and it wouldn’t hurt to start early.

The general then took his leave as you followed your ladies down to the dressing room to get ready for dinner. You saw the lieutenant linger for a moment before he also took his leave.

You then got ready with your ladies, putting you in another rather simple dress for the evening and doing another simple but elegant style.

“So is there anyone that has caught either of your eyes on board,” you asked both of them.

Adlez caught your eye in the mirror you could tell that she knew what you were doing. “Not particularly for me, but I have had fun with some of the officers at the bar.”

Both of you watched Olivia-Rose blush and duck her head when both of your attention turned to her. “There is no one in particular.”

“No one in particular, or someone who hasn’t noticed yet,” asked Adlez taking the lead. Her all-knowing eyes settled on her younger counterpart.

“I don’t know if it would even be appropriate, or even if it would be reciprocated,” Olivia-Rose said in her own defense. She looked stressed and worried.

“It is most certainly reciprocated and really all you need to do is ask permission from Lady Ren,” said Adlez to her. She then looked at you, asking permission for her.

Olivia-Rose then caught your eye in the vanity mirror, you got up and took her shoulders in your hands. “Of course you can, all I ask is that if it doesn’t work out that you will be able to work together. He is my assistant after all, and you will have to be near each other every day.”

Olivia-Rose just blushed and ducked her head. Eventually, she nodded in response. You then walked over to the vanity mirror with her and Adlez to inspect their handiwork. They did an excellent job, as always.

“Adlez do you think you can get me ready for bed by yourself?” You turned your head to the older woman.

She met your eye in the mirror and answered it with a smirk, saying, “Of course I can.”

You then turned to Olivia-Rose, “I expect that you should be able to track him down. Or do you want me to send him a message? I am giving you the opportunity to do it now before things get too hectic for all of us.”

She blushed and ducked her head once more, “I can find him m’lady and thank you.”

With that, you dismissed them both and headed to the living area to wait for Kylo to return for dinner. You had some things to discuss tonight, one of them being the execution tomorrow. You just hoped he could keep a level head for once so that another night together wasn’t ruined.

[theholycovenantrpg]

CONGRATULATIONS, JENNA! YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR THE ROLE OF BASTIEN AVALOS.

Admin Rosey: Jenna, I cannot emphasize enough how in love I am with the way that you captured Bastien. He was one of the characters that is driven singularly by passion and impulse, and he is the one character that takes a person’s heart and never lets go of it until he tires, then goes for another. From your ideas for development, to the para sample - this application holds you captive just as Bastien does. The Holy Land isn’t ready for Bastien to enter center stage, but boy, I definitely am. Thank you for this wonderful application - and please, be handle our hearts gently...before smashing them to pieces.  Please create and send in your account, review the information on our CHECKLIST, and follow everyone on the FOLLOW LIST. Welcome to the Holy Land!

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Jenna Age | 21 Personal Pronouns | she/they Activity Level | My activity really varies throughout the week! I work on weekdays ( gross, I know ), and am also completing an honours degree this year so will mostly be around on evenings and on the weekends!! My aim is usually to get on for replies every couple of days, but I generally make myself available for plotting every day! Timezone | gmt+10 Triggers | REMOVED. How did you find the group?  | in the tags! but I recognised your names from diverona and just knew I had to apply!! Current/Past RP Accounts | https://marymacd.tumblr.com/ // https://leonagw.tumblr.com/

IN CHARACTER

Character | Bastien Avalos

What drew you to this character? | Wow, okay, where do I begin? Bastien is a very different character to the ones I usually play, and I think I was initially drawn to his recklessness. Bastien doesn’t just flirt with danger - he courts it, and I find this very fascinating as I’ve always tended to play very strategic, cautious, and calculated characters in the past, which Bastien just isn’t. I think there’s lots of potential to develop him as a character - both in the way of coming to terms with his past and exploring the events that have brought him to where he is, and in terms of his future - now that he’s had his autonomy ripped from him and burdened with a responsibility he never wanted, and one that he’s quite ill-equipped for, there’s definitely a lot of room to develop him in very interesting ways.

I’m also drawn to the idea of portraying a mortal walking among immortals - and yet, having very little regard for his own mortality. He’s spent his whole life running headfirst into danger - picking fights he knows he won’t win just for the sheer thrill of it - just to get a few battle scars and a great story at the end of it. It’s fascinating to me that, out of all the characters in this group, he’s perhaps the most vulnerable due to his status as mortal, and yet he acts as though he’s unbreakable, living life with a sort of heedlessness that is so uniquely human. He’s aware of his limited lifespan in comparison to those around him, but he’s determined to do as much as he possibly can with the time he has, to ensure that he leaves a great story behind when he goes.

What future plots do you have in mind for the character? |

001. SINS OF THE FATHER - Listen, the potential to explore Bastien’s relationships with his family was far too rich and complex for me to pass up putting it first. Let’s start with the obvious, shall we? Bastien killed his father - obviously, it was in defence of his mother, and I don’t necessarily think that he regrets what he did ( only that it put him into a position of power and left him responsibility he is neither equipped nor wanting to handle ), but it definitely has left an impact on him. Though not specifically mentioned in his bio - I think it’s very unlikely that Bastien has told anyone what really happened that night ( the family probably lied it away, that the former Lord Avalos was murdered by someone seeking some kind of retribution before fleeing in the night, never to be seen again ), and I think it would be very interesting to see how this guilt plays on him, and how he struggles with having to feign anger at the mystery of his father’s demise while knowing full well what really happened. Yes, Bastien may be a dumbass, but he’s not as stupid as everyone thinks, and he knows that the truth of what happened to his father coming out would be bad not only for him, but for his whole family, and he’s going to do whatever it can to keep the secret from surfacing, even if that means lying to the ones closest to him ( of course….. I, personally, would love for people to find out what happened to his father eventually, the drama of it all is too much to pass on ).

I would also love to explore how the death of his father has shaped his relationships with the rest of his family - his mother in particular. Though his sisters may have their suspicions, I also feel that they’re likely as in the dark as anyone else regarding the circumstances of their father’s death ( and, honestly, he wasn’t a particularly nice man, so none of them have any intention of digging any deeper into it ). However, Bastien’s mother knows exactly what happened, and, more importantly, why. I’d honestly love to explore the idea of her being angry with Bastien for what he did - for jeopardising the family name and putting himself in harm’s way yet again, despite it being to save her life. In my head, she cares more about Bastien’s wellbeing than her own, and thinks that what he did was a mistake that he didn’t think through ( which, to be fair, he did not ). Also, now that Bastien is Lord Avalos - how does this change their relationship? It’s a responsibility he never wanted, but one that his mother insisted he must take on after the death of his father. I think there’s the potential for a lot of resentment to build between them, which is particularly interesting ( and sad ) because I think they have always had a fairly strong relationship throughout Bastien’s youth and early adulthood.

002. ADAM & EVE - Let’s! Talk! About! Evangeline! In all seriousness, I think that the relationship between Basien and Evangeline has so, so much potential and is definitely one of the main reasons I was drawn to the character in the first place. I mean, best friends who are practically closer than family is one of my favourite tropes. I really think of Evangeline as being one of the only things that really keeps Bastien grounded - he’s reckless and foolish at the best of times, and she has the potential to be a counter to this rashness. At the same time, Bastien’s immaturity ( for lack of a better word ) can help lift Evangeline and invite some youthfulness into both of their lives. I don’t want to infer too much about their past or their current relationship, as this is obviously something I want to discuss with Evangeline’s mun, but I do want to discuss the secrets that Bastien is keeping from Evangeline. For one, their connection states that he knows the truth about what happened to Evangeline’s parents, something she herself doesn’t know, and something he’s been keeping from her ( for what he believes to be her own good - but, really, shouldn’t Evangeline get to be the judge of that? ).

But, what happens when she finds out what really happened, and that her best friend has been lying to her for so long? Again, I don’t want to assume anything as this is entirely up to Evangeline’s mun, but I do think there is the potential for some drama™ here. Bastien didn’t do what he did for bad reasons, he’s not a sinister character, and he genuinely thought he was doing the right thing - but I can definitely see a world where it doesn’t come across this way. Along the same lines, I think that if Bastien was going to tell anyone about what happened to his father, it would be Evangeline. I don’t imagine that he’s told her yet, but I can definitely see this as a possibility. I think he would be worried about how she would react, and I can really see it going either way ( again, this is all subject to the interpretation of Evangeline’s mun ), but her reaction ( especially in light of what happened to Lady Treme ) is again, something which could be very interesting to explore.

003. A SEAT AT THE TABLE - Does Bastien deserve a seat at the Round Table? Absolutely not. Will he work hard to ensure he is respected and taken seriously? Also no. Bastien and responsibility are two things that nobody would have ever previously thought to associate. Growing up, Bastien seemed to exist on the periphery of his father’s world, a reckless kid always looking for trouble and never bothering to learn from his mistakes - he was an unwelcome stain on an otherwise pristine Avalos legacy. Nobody in any position of power thought to take the former Lord Avalos’ heir seriously, and perhaps many of them prayed the father world outlive the son ( it wouldn’t have been too unreasonable an assumption to make, given the number of times Bastien would return home late at night, bloody and bruised after picking a fight with someone he shoudn’t have ). Perhaps many of them were rightfully surprised to see Bastien take his seat at the Round Table following the untimely demise of his father - perhaps they’d been expecting him to simply walk away from the responsibility, to throw in the towel and leave the Round Table without an Avalos for the first time in history.

He’d wanted to - power and responsibility weren’t well-suited to Bastien’s personality. Sure, he had a knack for military strategy, and he wasn’t a bad fighter on his own, but he never saw himself as a general, as a leader, and he certainly doesn’t see himself this way now. He’d been willing to walk away from it all, but urgent prompting from his mother forced Bastien to rethink this position and take up a seat of power that he never imagined himself holding. He’s angry, of course, that his life has been whittled down to this - that he didn’t see this coming when he’d taken his father’s life, but he’ll do it for the sake of his family. I’d love to explore Bastien’s newfound responsibilities, and how he reacts to this. There’s the potential for a great amount of resentment to form - he never wanted this life for himself, he always imagined himself surmounting to bigger and better things, and, yes, he’s angry that he has to spend his days playing politics when he could be out exploring the world and living a life worthwhile.

I do see a possibility of it all becoming too much for Bastien - of him wanting to give up and escape and start anew. I’m not really sure how this would play out, in all honesty, but I think the resentment that Bastien has towards his life and his position could be very interesting to explore. I also would love to develop Bastien’s connections with the other members of the Round Table. I don’t imagine anyone will take him very seriously, and his naivety leaves him open to manipulation and sabotage. How do the others perceive him? How will they use him? This is the aspect of Bastien that is the most vulnerable - because he has no idea what he’s doing, and I’d love to see this come back to bite him, I’d love to see someone use this to their advantage, and against Bastien’s.

004. REFLECTION OF THE PAST - Although he isn’t aware of it, Bastien’s current life isn’t his first. He’s the reincarnation of Adam - how does this affect the way that he lives? I don’t imagine that Bastien is very aware of this fact, sure, he has strange dreams from time to time, and can’t help but feel as though he’s experienced certain moments in his life beforehand, feelings so familiar that he can practically grasp them - but he never stops for long enough to think much of them. As the memories of his past life begin to come back to him more clearly, I’d really like to explore how this impacts the way that Bastien lives. Is he doomed to simply repeat the same mistakes that he made in the past, or is there room for him to forge his own destiny? I think that Bastien likes to think of himself as a free spirit - all his life, he was actively rebelling from the part that his father wished for him to play, seeking out danger and relishing in the thrill of adrenaline pumping through his veins, rather than playing politics or making power grabs or leading the military with a steady hand - I think it would come as quite a shock to him to realise that he hasn’t really been becoming his own man at all - that he was simply following in the footsteps of a past life. I think it could actually be, potentially, quite upsetting for Bastien, and trigger some serious changes and introspection on his part. Of all my plot ideas, this is probably the least fleshed out, but I really want to explore how this impacts him, as I think there’s potentially a lot of room for some serious character development on the back of him realising that he’s just a copy of someone who came before.

IN DEPTH

Driving Character Motivation | I think, more so than anything else, Bastien is driven by passion. He’s certainly not the type of person to sit around and think things through before he does them - he doesn’t consider consequences or the why of his actions until later on. He chases whatever he imagines will be the most exciting use of his time, what he thinks will make the best story later on, what will make him feel the most alive. He’s not motivated to think very far beyond what is happening right in front of him, to consider how his actions might have repercussions for himself or for others later down the track. He’s motivated to follow whatever will serve him best in any given moment - whether it be pleasure, a thrill, or material gains. He flirts with danger not to test his own mortality ( okay, a little to test his own mortality ) but because he finds there to be no better feeling than that of pure adrenaline coursing through his veins. His loyalties and beliefs come second to that search for adventure, that search for the next high, the next story, the next great escapade.

Character Traits |

+ CHARISMATIC - exercising a compelling charm which inspires devotion in others. + PASSIONATE - having, showing, or caused by strong feelings or beliefs. + OPPORTUNISTIC - exploiting immediate opportunities, especially regardless of planning or principle. - RECKLESS - heedless of danger or the consequences of one’s actions; rash or impetuous. - MERCURIAL - subject to sudden or unpredictable changes of mood or mind. - IRRESPONSIBLE - not showing a proper sense of responsibility.

In-Character Para sample |

It’s raining.

This kind of weather would usually annoy Bastien ( there’s far fewer possibilities of what to do with oneself when the weather is poorly ), but, today, he’s glad for it - while the rain mixes with tears on his mother and sisters’ faces, it manages to conceal the fact that, were it not for the unfortunate weather, Bastien’s own cheeks would be perfectly dry. His eyes are not spilling a single drop, his breath does not hitch, and his limbs only tremble from the cold - his knuckles turning white as he holds an imposing charcoal umbrella over his head.

For one normally so consumed with emotion ( one to whom anger and joy come in equal, loud measures and often within the same beat ), Bastian looks almost akin to the statues he currently finds himself surrounded by - stony faced and lifeless. Normally his face can tell a story all on its own - one of joy, or triumph, adventure, or defeat - and perhaps, to the uninformed observer, his current sterility could be chalked up to grief or to shock, but, in truth, he has quashed any emotion he might feel so as to avoid the catastrophic mistake of letting something slip that he’d prefer the public weren’t privy to. His mother had warned him - you’re grieving. You’re grieving. You’re grieving.

He wasn’t grieving.

Perhaps it should be a concern, he thinks, as he gazes at his father’s headstone ( some ironic inscription about a loving husband and father stares back at him, mockingly ), that he doesn’t feel anything akin to sorrow - the emotion he’d expect most people to feel when attending their parent’s funeral. Perhaps he should be sad - after all, this is the final day of his life as he knows it, is it not? The final day where he is able to wake up and enjoy a clean slate, to have possibilities stretched out ahead of him, tantalisingly close and yet just a stone’s throw out of reach. This ceremony marks the end of his father’s reign as Lord Avalos, and tomorrow morning, the title and responsibilities that come with it will fall to him. It’s a rather unenviable situation, he’d say.

He glances sideways at his mother - she’s sobbing quietly as one of his sisters recites some old poem. He’s suddenly angry, the desire to shake her and scream washes over him - he wasn’t a good man, mother, he had no love for us, mother, he would have killed you, mother - but then he remembers how she had screamed as Bastien plunged the dagger he’d been gifted for his twenty-fifth birthday into the heart of the man who had raised him, remembers the silence that followed as they had cleaned his blood from their clothes, and the urge goes as quickly as it had came, replaced again by stony faced resolve.

It’s been raining for the past two days, and Bastien can feel himself slowly sinking into the mud underfoot.

He’s not cut out for leadership, he thinks. Sure, he has a knack for military strategy, and a keen interest in it ( this is perhaps the only thing he and his father had had in common ), but general? A seat at the Round Table? It all seemed like too much of a stretch for the man who just a few weeks ago was picking fights with men twice his size in the city square for a bit of fun, the man who had three fake teeth because the real ones had been knocked out by quicker, stronger opponents, the man who had skirted responsibility for most of his life. If he’d had time to think, he might have tried a different method to stop his father from laying a hand upon his mother ( it had been a blur, though, adrenaline taking over and the urge to protect stronger than any rationality ) - but this was the problem, wasn’t it?

Bastien didn’t think. He never did. He’d always been a doer - acting with his heart and leaving his head to deal with the consequences later on ( if he ever did deal with them - too often it seemed he simply walked away from the messes he made, leaving a trail of skeletons behind him wherever he went, hoping desperately to outrun them lest they grab hold and pull him back down to face the music ). Now, suddenly, he’s expected to take up a position of power, of responsibility - to represent not only his family ( which he’d never done a particularly good job of ), but all of mortalkind. He’d tried to run from this, too, but sometimes fate is too powerful to escape. His mother had insisted he grin and bear his new responsibilities - he’d hurt the Avalos name enough by this point, hadn’t he?

It seems almost like a cruel twist of fate - that someone who had become so used to avoiding responsibility would be suddenly weighed down by one so great. Suddenly dashed were all of Bastien’s hopes to live life as a free man - to go where he wanted, to do as he pleased. This had never been the life he’d envisioned from himself - from the moment he could dream of something beyond himself, he’d dreamt of a life beyond all of this - beyond the rigid structure his father had long tried to force him into, beyond the rules everyone around here seemed so keen to follow blindly. He’d quickly earned the reputation of reckless, foolhardy, untoward, tempestuous, and he’d secretly reveled in it. Now, he can practically feel the eyes of his father’s former associates boring into the back of his skull - waiting for him to make a mistake, to claw their own way into power.

It’s ironic, really - they’re waiting to make him a villain, yet everything he’d done until now would suggest him to already be one.

He’s become quite accustomed to feigning grief over the past few days - it wasn’t too much of a stretch, really, he’s always been a terribly gifted liar. Not always for nefarious purposes, mind you. More often than not, his lies were altruistic in nature. He’d spin elaborate tales of grandeur and chivalry out of petty fights for his sisters and classmates. He’d convince his mother that the ghastly gash above his eye would heal up just fine ( it didn’t ) and that it didn’t even hurt ( it did ). He could brush off concern or anger or disappointment with a flash of his teeth and a little white lie, he could bounce from person to person, emotion to emotion, leaving everyone he met with a slightly different impression depending on what they wanted to see. And he could keep secrets buried deep in his chest, rotting him from the inside, when he felt they might do more harm when spoken aloud.

He could lie about this, then, too. He could lie that he was ready ( and willing ) to take on this new responsibility - just as he had feigned shock at the sight of his father’s dead body. Just as he had feigned anger that no culprit had yet been found. Just as he could feign mourning around his sisters, or remorse around his mother. Just as he could feign grief - just as he is right now, the fat droplets of rain serving as decent enough replacements for genuine tears. He’d handle this - of course he would handle this, just as he had handled everything else in his life up until now - with a laugh and a grin and a great story at the end of it.

“Bastien,” It’s his mother speaking, she tugs gently at his arm. The ceremony is over. He hadn’t even noticed that people had started to file out of the cemetery. “It’s time to go.”

Extras | Pinterest / Mock blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my application ( again )! I love the look of this group, and I love Bastien, and I hope I get the opportunity to write with you all soon!!

[choeilidh-archive]

Catch Me I’m Falling: self-para

Cho had the snitch in her sights when the first curses were cast. She had the snitch in her sights, so she was blind to the rest of the world. Her focus had narrowed to herself, the snitch, and the fact that she was closer to it than Viktor. Nothing else mattered, gold was right at her finger tips, so she didn’t see it coming. All she saw was the snitch, and then there was a flash of light and blinding pain in her left shoulder.  All she saw was the  snitch and then she was falling. In nearly 15 years of flying Cho had never, ever fallen off her broom, but she was falling, and then she couldn’t see the snitch anymore because everything went black.

When she came to, Cho was staring at the ceiling of a St. Mungo’s ward, a not altogether unfamiliar sight, though she usually preferred to be treated by the Tornados team healers and not bother with the fuss of Mungo’s. Familiar, too, was the piercing pain in her shoulder. She’d broken bones before, just enough to recognize this particular pain. What didn’t make sense, was why she was in St. Mungo’s for just a broken bone. She tried to take a deep breath, before coming to the sharp realization that deep breaths were a shitty idea when something in the general region of your lungs was broken. 

Then, she heard her mother’s voice, “Bao? Bao, she’s awake!” and her parents rushed into her line of sight, red rimming her father’s eyes, concern and confusion clear in her mother’s.

“What’s going on?” Cho tried to turn her head to look at her parents, but didn’t make it very far before something that definitely didn’t want to be moved pulled her up short. 

Isla made as if to answer, but Bao cut her off. “Best to let the healers explain.”

Af if on cue, someone in the awful green of a St. Mungo’s healer entered the room. At least, Cho heard a door open, and a few seconds later, the healer came into view. What followed was a story that she could understand in  its parts, but made no sense as a whole. The Redeemers had attacked the game. She’d been hit with an unknown curse that had broken her collarbone and knocked her off her broom. The healers had been able to patch up her scrapes and bruises from the fall, but the initial break was proving more stubborn. That was the healer’s word for it, “stubborn,” as if Cho’s collarbone were a petulant child. Whatever dark curse had resulted in the break, seemed to be fighting the healing magic. 

The good news, apparently, was that all of her bone was now back inside her body, instead of sticking through her skin as it had initially been. Cho felt a little green just thinking about that and was deeply grateful she’d been unconscious for that part. The bad news, which was all of the rest of the news, was that no one had been able to close the wound until a Healer Pye had given her “stitches.” It was clear from the look on his face what this man thought of Healer Pye’s technique, but stitches were familiar to Cho, and she was surprised and relieved that a wizard had had the good sense and knowhow to apply a Muggle technique. But the bone itself was still resisting healing magics, and would need to mend on its own.

That was what didn’t make sense to Cho. She at least knew enough of Muggle medicine to know she was spoiled by magical healing, but that meant problems like this were supposed to go away. Bones broke, and they were mended. Concussions happened, and she took a potion. Her sciatica flared, and she used an ointment. She had come to rely on the quick fixes of magic, and the news that it was failing her now just didn’t click. It didn’t help that apparently no one at St Mungo’s, not even Healer  Pye with his stitches, knew how a broken collarbone healed without magic.

This seemed to annoy Isla as much as it did Cho. As Bao politely thanked the healer and ushered him out of Cho’s room, Isla huffed and launched into the story of her cousin’s friend’s daughter who’d broken her collarbone just last year. Cho’s head swam as Isla explained about slings, and keeping her whole arm immobile for weeks, and how it had been months before the cousin’s friend’s daughter could play football again. The story was supposed to make Cho feel better, but it was Bao who noticed his daughter’s tears first. Months without quidditch meant she’d be on the bench for the rest of the season, unable to train or participate in practice. It was a realization that was both heartbreakingly immediate and not quite real.

Bao gently explained that the healers wanted to keep  Cho overnight to make sure Healer Pye’s stitches held, so he and Isla would be back in the morning to bring her home. He handed her the cup of pain potion that had been left for her and quietly led Isla out of the room. Cho might have gotten her quick temper and sharp wit from her mother, but Bao was her more deeply feeling parent, and he understood that sometimes tears needed to be shared, and then sometimes they didn’t. Cho  swallowed  the potion and stared up at the ceiling as the tears came hard and fast, with sobs that shook her shoulder and sent stabs of pain through her, though the impact lessened as the pain potion did its work.

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, KIERSTEN! You’ve been accepted for the role of CLEOPATRA with an approved FC change to Anais Mali. Admin Rogue: More than anything, Calina is one of the characters I've been most excited to see brought back to us, and I couldn't be more thrilled that you've captured her so well! Calina's such a balance between warmth and cunning, between drive and connection, and you really drove home her humanity. Her intelligence and fortitude clash so well with her loneliness in this way that really sang to my heart throughout your application, and the para sample blew me away. I love her with every ounce of my being, and I know just from reading this that you'll go beyond the distance and reach new heights with our lovely new Queen. We cannot wait to see what you have in store! Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character

Alias | Kiersten

Age | 21

Preferred Pronouns | she/her/hers

Activity Level |  I’ve never written a day before in my life…haha…unless…? (see here: https://catherinedaly.tumblr.com/ and https://isabellagagliano.tumblr.com/ :* ) Also, school is about to let out so I’m going to have so much free time that y’all will wish I had something else to do, or somewhere else to be.

Timezone |  EST

In Character

Character | Calina Sokolova – Cleopatra → With a face claim change to Anais Mali, please? uwu

CALINA

origin: Greek

meaning: beautiful, lovely; the moon

SOKOLOVA

origin: Russian

meaning: falcon; hawk

CLEOPATRA

origin: Greek

Meaning: glory of the father

What drew you to this character? | Well, it’s no secret that I’ve been dying to complete The Trifecta ™but I think I even surprised myself when I turned my attention to Calina. It’s been so long since the mesmerizing Cleopatra took the stage and, with each passing day, I find that I miss her more and more. She’s startlingly different from both my Catherine and Isabella. Both Isa and Cat are led by their heart, but Calina is decidedly not; she’s terribly bright and practical—a diamond in the rough that’s not yet been fully excavated… But, could Verona handle the savant in her unfettered brilliance and whip-quick wit? Is the city prepared to kneel out of their own volition, rather than being so savagely forced?  This girl turned woman turned phoenix has been scorned one time too many and she deserves to assert herself as an entity far greater than just being Faron’s loyal shadow. I’m eager to give her what’s due, and more!

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? | Where do you see this character developing, and what kind of actions would you have them take to get there? 3 future plot ideas would be preferable.

I WILL NOT BE TRIUMPHED OVER: He picked her to be a general, and a general she will be; the King may have fallen, but the Queen is more than capable of continuing the legacy. Calina, of all people, knows that the Vasiliev man would roll over in his grave to know if she even considered so-easily conceding to the Veronesi and their brutally unforgiving ways. I would love to get the chance to explore the Sokolova woman PICKING UP WHERE FARON LEFT OFF. His roots in Russia run deep and wide, still viable even though he no longer lives. I like to think that Calina inherited his network, considering she was his right hand. However, such power holds great responsibility—and danger. The late Vasiliev’s connections were no secret to Damiano and his group, which places her in a precarious position: to work at intertwining her newly inherited network with the Montagues or keeping it tucked against her chest. After all, they took from her, so why would she give anything?

TURN YOUR WOUNDS INTO WISDOM: Her heart is a fickle thing that’s not yet stopped its beating–even with all that she’s lost–and now she’s looking for something that cannot be so easily taken from her. Alexander Rallis seems to have cemented himself firmly within Montague ranks and while this is what initially drew Calina to him, it’s not what makes her stay; she’s a wraith looking for a soul to tie herself to, and he’s her best bet. But, the Sokolova woman isn’t taking her heart into account when she decides to interact with him more. What started as a tactical attempt to grow closer to Alexander for the sake of learning what it takes to be the Montague consigliere has become somewhat muddled, at least on her end.

Calina knows desire like the back of her hand; she knows lust intimately, but is damningly inexperienced with feelings and how quickly they can strike. What she feels towards Alexander is an uncomfortable mix of a girlish crush and well-tamed, heady desire (though she’ll vehemently deny any feelings of affection for the man of war). I’d love to EXPLORE THE DYNAMIC BETWEEN ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA (bonus points if he somehow finds out her words were ingenuine, at first) and how far she’s willing to go in terms of her own ascension within Montague ranks. But for now, for Alex, she’ll string her words together in the most beautiful of sentences; she’ll even drench them in his decadent gold, if it will coax the great Antony from his armor long enough so that she may come to understand what lies underneath; she’s vying for his mind, but not prepared for what else (his heart, perhaps?) might come.

I AM NO BIRD AND NO NET ENSNARES ME: Mona Chen, the Keeper of Sparrows, is her target; The Dark Lady is a fine price to tuck in one’s pocket. Damiano made his desires clear when he assigned the Sokolova woman to lure Mona from her Capulet-leaning ways into ways that better align with Montague ideologies, and Calina refuses to fail. I’m excited about CALINA RELYING ON HER PAST TO ASSIST HER while she tries to court Mona for the sake of the Montagues. She’s done well enough to stifle her memories of her time within halls of debauchery, but they’ll soon become her greatest asset–a sharp contrast to her belief that they were her Achilles’ Heel. How far is Calina willing to go to pull The Dark Lady to the Montagues’ side? She’s no stranger to using her body to get what she wants and she sees the way Mona watches her–closely, as though she’s waiting for the woman from Russia to slip up and return to her roots. If Mona thinks she’ll be able to make a Sparrow out of Calina, so be it; what the owner of The Dark Lady doesn’t know–that Calina refuses to return to that lifestyle–won’t hurt her. If white lies and gilded interest are what it takes to bridge the gap between Damiano and Mona, so be it.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Only if it’ll cause the maximum amount of pain possible.

In Depth

In-Character:

PARA SAMPLE–

They don’t give him a funeral. They barely acknowledge the vacancy he’s left behind, the lives upended by his untimely departure–both here, and in Russia. Calina’s not surprised by this, not  at all; hosting a funeral for a man murdered by someone supposedly on the same side as he was would be… Tricky, to say the least. And in not giving Faron Vasiliev the proper burial he deserved, the unspoken message is clear: all that glitters is not always golden.

In the days after Faron’s demise, Calina is reminded of a cruel lesson she was remiss to keep in the forefront of her mind: everyone–no matter how highly they’re thought of, no matter what they bring to the table–can be replaced. Measure for Measure is gifted to Matthias before Vasiliev’s body coldens; her loyalty, too, is transferred to Damiano, the hefty price Faron paid to free her from her contract in Russia symbolically falling on the shoulders of the Montague king. She knows better than to bite at the hand that feeds her, so she remains stoic in the presence of those of whom haven’t earned her trust–an amount that, when totaled, can be counted on one hand and one hand alone.

Calina sighs into the darkness of her room, into the lush bedding that surrounds her body. She collects her scrambled thoughts as neatly as she can; she gathers those too-raw and fragmented memories that can’t have her attention–not now, maybe not ever–and and shoves them to the back of her mind, bringing others to the forefront so that she may concoct a plan to ensure her safety here in Verona–here, permanently, as she’ll be damned before she ever calls Russia ‘home’ again.

First and foremost, the Sokolova woman is acutely aware of the target on her back, no matter how curious Damiano may be about her silver tongue and whip-quick mind. The interest of the Montague can quickly wane; the lavish lifestyle she’s come to familiarize herself with can be snatched away without so much as a passing glance. Her attachment isn’t to the items, but rather to the intoxicating feeling of security–to knowing she’ll have a home, to knowing she’ll not have to worry about where her next meal will come from–and she’s not willing to lose it without giving it her all.

Secondly, she needs allies. In a game of chess, the Queen is the most valuable piece on the board and Calina knows, though no one can see, that there’s a crown atop those wily curls of hers and she won’t let it fall. She’ll gather people like pawns, find a niche for herself in Damiano’s kingdom and create a buffer. The people sing of Antony’s accolades, of Gertrude’s steadfastness in the middle of disasters and more, but it’s time they’ve learned a new song: a song of Cleopatra, the woman who didn’t cut others at the knee, but rather coaxed them to kneeling out of their own volition.

Last, she knows that she must now work twice as hard to take what’s hers; she’s come to terms with taking three steps forward followed by two steps back. The newly-inherited title of emissary suits her far better than soldier, but not nearly as well as advisor. To say that she’s not become comfortable with the power Faron was wise enough to imbue her with would be a lie; the Sokolova woman relished the way he saw her as an equal, and she wants that same attention still, even though he’s gone. But, good things take time and she’s got plenty of it.

The King is dead; may God save the Queen.

She’ll not give them a chance to not give her a funeral, too.

INTERVIEW–

What does your typical day look like?

“I wake as early as my body will allow,” the Sokolova woman says, “which is earlier than some, but not others. I’ve broken my habit of favoring the night—thankfully.” It’s a lie, of course; her affinity for night and its darkness have been seared into the very marrows of her bones, what with her past as Madame’s precious драгоценный камень bleeding over to her present and eagerly waiting to devour her future. “Bast is a spoiled little thing; as soon as I wake up, she’s kneading at my side or sitting on my chest until I get up and feed her. In a way, she’s akin to an alarm clock.” A fond smile graces her visage at the thought of her Russian Blue–a gift from the Zaitsevs, longtime clients of hers and Faron’s that took note of the way she tended to their feline and his desire for her lithe fingers to stroke his silky silver fur while maintaining her focus and wit on the matters at hand. “I feed her, and then I have a cup of збитень while perusing Il Giornale. On my way to work, I might pick up a pastry from one of the bakeries I pass.“

Moments of peace before she slips into her role as Montague emissary and client charmer. But, of course, this little journalist need not know of her underground dealings.

Rather, Calina gives him what he wants–something palatable; something honest; something that piques his interest enough to get him to write it down, but not enough to ask more. “Once I leave my darling for the day, I typically don’t make it back until the evening. I spend my time working remotely in The Capital Library as often as I can. Offices are too stuffy for my liking. I’d rather be surrounded by thousands of books filled with rich history while crafting communication strategies for my clients.”

Where is your favorite place in Verona?

The answer that first comes to mind is bittersweet and far too personal: her favorite place in Verona is—was—Faron’s home—untouched and uninhabited since his demise. It leaves a bitter taste in her mouth, much like the сельдь с луком that her late mother was so fond of. The memories are nothing but quick flashes, though she can feel the goosebumps rising on her skin; she can feel Faron’s phantom touch along the small of her back, and can hear Alyona’s honey-drenched laugh as she playfully turned the hose from her azaleas to her gleeful daughter. But, Calina knows herself and she knows herself well; she’s far too proud to falter, especially in the face of a nosy reporter. So, she does what she does best: she chains the memories and thoughts before they have a chance to run wild; she shackles them together—two pieces of her irreparably-broken heart—and shoves them into a dark corner of her mind that’ll be ignored until something else taunts the perpetually-grieving beast that resides in her chest.

The journalist prompts again, curiosity evident in the slight furrow of his brows and in the way he doesn’t allow her to mull over her answer, to pull palatable words from her arsenal of languages. The Sokolova woman notes his softly spoken impatience, adding it to her list of observations—that he’s recently had coffee, the familiar scent of the drink lingering between them; that he’s not as seasoned as other journalists she’s come across, as he’s more concerned with what she says rather than what she doesn’t or won’t say; and that he’s not as subtle as he’d like to think, with his blue eyes that graze her frame in more instances than just one.

“Verona is such a beautiful city,” Calina muses at last, warmth coloring her words as though she’s speaking of a dear friend. “But, caro mio, if you must make me choose—“ a gusty, nearly dramatic sigh billows from her lacquered lips “—Lamberti Tower. There’s nothing quite like reaching the top and looking at the breathtaking scenery below.” A well-manicured finger twists at her brown curls. “Should you find yourself there, I highly recommend The Hathaway.” It’s sinful–how delicious and dangerous the drink is. “But, be careful—it’s practically impossible to just have one.”

What has been your biggest mistake thus far?

Were she a less professional woman, she’d have laughed in his face. She’d have parroted his question back at him, incredulity coloring her words and displeasure marring her now-placid expression. Calina Sokolova, making mistakes? No, she is far too meticulous, far too critical; she scours over every word, every shift in body language or facial expression, cataloguing it all in her mind so that she may act appropriately. Years spent morphing herself into whatever her clients wanted—a simpering coquette, a lustful breath against the shell of an ear, a body meant to be used and discarded soon after—have served her well.

Women like Calina don’t make mistakes. Calina doesn’t make mistakes. She cannot afford to do so.

“Oh, дорогая,” the woman says at last, a hint of mischief glinting in her dark hues as she leans back in her plush chair, “would you believe me if I said I’ve not yet made one?”  

What has been the most difficult task asked of you? (tw: allusion to terminal illness)

The Sokolova woman’s most difficult request was something that wasn’t asked at all. It wasn’t something she could stop or something she could pass to somebody else. No, the most difficult task for the princess of the dark alley was commanded. Not even she, freshly-graduated from Novobisrov State University and armed with the knowledge of old and new, could disobey the order… All she could do was helplessly watch.

The decline was cruelly slow, seemingly stretching time just far enough for her to take a second to hope. It’s both a blessing and a curse, that fickle thing called time. It gives as easily as it takes, tricking you into thinking there’s a chance when it’s only prolonging the inevitable. Может быть, мы уедем из России - найди другого доктора в другом месте, a frustrated Calina suggested long ago, her pride rearing its ugly head deep in her chest. Her mother couldn’t die. She forbade it…

…And in the end, it didn’t matter.

Her protests fell upon deaf ears, as did her pleas. Her prayers remained so damningly unanswered that she couldn’t help but blame herself for halfhearted attempts, so she only prayed more—desperately, angrily, fearfully. Calina bruised her knees with how often she fell to them in the name of the Redeemer–to a God her mother held so much faith in, to a God she once believed existed. When left motherless, possessionless, and poor, she only further dug her heels in, deciding that she’d never be made a fool in the face of time again. She sells her body, the notion of kneeling for less-than-holy reasons no longer distasteful, for at least it—unlike the time she wasted praying—yielded results. It paid for her rent, her food, her existence.

“My mother once told me it’s ill-advised to say you’ve already experienced the worst of things,” she murmurs.  “She said it tempted Fate and angered it so that it didn’t rest until it outdid what you thought was the most terrible of all.” Alyona Sokolova never said it, the light in her eyes snuffed out before she ever got the chance. Calina likes to believe she would have, had the illness not first taken her mind. Clearing her throat and finding her voice once more, the emissary tacks on,  “And mother knows best, да?”

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?

A soft and disapproving hmmph comes first, and it is punctuated by an unimpressed response: “It’s brutish–the whole idea of it.” Wars fought for the sole purpose of destruction did nothing for either side; a pity, truly, but she expects nothing less from the crowned men that perpetuate its continuance. Both Cosimo and Damiano are bullheaded, though she does give them some credit; they’ve both picked women to be their Underbosses—women who know that cold calculation will always prevail over hot tempers and wounded prides.

Calina continues, “Ask any Veronesi why the two families feud and you’ll hear dozens of stories, each a bit different from its predecessor.” It’s one of the things she loves and detests about language—how malleable words are, how easily they diffuse as they’re passed from person to person. Calina tucks a loose curl behind her ear, golden ring glinting against the afternoon sun that shines through opened curtains. She pauses thoughtfully as though she’s considering an idea she’s not yet had, head canting just slightly before she venturing, “They’re going to run themselves and Verona ragged.” Fights can only last for so long. There’s nothing sustainable about war, nothing sustainable in pulling the downtrodden into the battles that they’ll never live to reap the benefits from.

Here, bodies are expendable; minds are not. Calina’s made sure to prove herself worthy of being grouped into the latter time and time again; her recent promotion within Montague ranks is only one of dozens of accolades she’s destined to earn. Spoken with the finality of a woman who has other matters to tend to, she closes with, “Adesso, corrispondente… Should you desire a more in-depth answer, ask them why they’re fighting. Ask them what the goal is.”

Extras: If you have anything else you’d like to include (further headcanons, an inspo tag, a mock blog, etc), feel free to share it here!

EXTRAS:

MBTI: INTJ - The Architect + | independent, jane-of-all-trades, driven -  | judgemental, blunt, secretive

ZODIAC: Virgo - 22 September + | logical, responsible, orderly -  | critical, obsessive, perfectionist

TEMPERAMENT: Choleric + | ambitious, confident, practical -  | uptight, impatient, uncomfortable around emotion

RICE PURITY TEST SCORE: 48

LOVE LANGUAGE(S): acts of service + physical touch

HEADCANONS:

In Novoborisk, Calina studied both history and linguistics (with a concentration in translation and translational studies). Before the tragedy of losing her mother, she planned on working as a professor while also researching ancient civilizations.

Alyona Sokolova stoked the burning desire to know in her precious daughter from her very first breath. Because of this, Calina is voraciously inquisitive; years of sharpening her mind and her tongue have created a well-spoken woman with undeniable charm.

Calina knows five languages, including her native language of Russian—English, French, Macedonian, and (most recently) Italian. She wants to learn more, should she ever get the opportunity.

She has a Russian Blue cat named Bast–a nod to Ancient Egypt and her dream to study civilizations of the past.

On her right hand, she wears a golden signet ring that she never takes off. It belonged to Faron—a ring he’d outgrown years ago but still kept as a reminder of his past. Now, it now belongs to her—a ring that fits perfectly on her right ring finger as a reminder of their pasts.

MOCK BLOG:

https://cleosokolova.tumblr.com/

PINTEREST BOARD:

https://www.pinterest.com/diaphcnous/calina-sokolova-the-savant/

[owenepierce]

Easter Event || Para

Who: Owen Pierce & Adam Sylvester

When: April 18th, 2020

Where: Practice Room in the Dominant dorm building.

Notes: Utilizes three eggs: cage, rope and a crop.

Owen

Dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a light pink hoodie, Owen stepped through the threshold of the Dominant Dormitory, the wind from outside tousling his blonde hair before the doors closed behind him. The submissive approached the front desk and asked for directions to the practice room where he was set to meet Adam Sylvester for his scene. After receiving instructions, he went on his way - doing all he could to subdue the little bubble of nerves that he had grown rather accustomed to since he had begun scening with people. Owen tried to remind himself that he had absolutely nothing to be nervous about; Adam was an experienced Dominant - he was related to the Headmistress, after all. If there was anyone at the institute that Owen could trust whole-heartedly to scene with, it'd be him. Owen arrived at the entrance of the practice room a few minutes early and dropped to his knees. He had learned that this was a customary first pose to initiate a scene, and he hoped to impress Adam and get their scene started on a good note by doing so.

Adam

Adam made a habit of arriving early to scenes, so that he could set up things as he wanted them, and yet, Owen beat him.  He supposed he wasn't surprised, since the new submissive certainly had seemed eager to impress.  Adam regarded him with a slight smile as he walked into the practice room.  "You look like you're looking forward to this," he commented, a distinct pleased note in his voice.  He walked past Owen to one of the shelves to pick out the toys that were required for the scene.  A crop, a cage, and rope, simple and versatile, easy enough to work into a scene.  "I've got a good idea of what we're going to do, but before we start, remind me again of your safeword and any limits.  Not just hard limits, I want you to tell me anything you don't want to do right now, not just things you'd never try."

Owen

"I certainly am, sir." Owen responded cheerfully when Adam entered the room. He lifted his gaze but remained on his knees. "My safeword is 'snap' and as for limits, I know I don't want anything to do with things that would permanently alter my face or body...um, not cut or blood or bodily fluids other than semen and saliva. I'm sorry if that's not a big enough list, but it's honestly all I know." Owen smiled gently and shrugged. He had only done two scenes before this and two weeks of school was hardly enough to inform him about everything he might not like, but he hoped what he knew would be enough.(edited)April 18, 2020

Adam

"No, that's perfect," Adam said as he set his supplies on a table and walked over to where Owen was kneeling.  He ruffled the boy's perfectly styled hair and smiled down at him.  "Good boy.  We won't be doing anything intense, but if you feel uncomfortable for even a moment, say something.  The safeword is important, but for this scene, even just 'wait' or 'stop' or 'hold on' will do just fine."  He smiled at him again and then picked up the cock cage from the table.  "I believe this was one of the items in your eggs.  Go ahead and strip for me."

Owen

The blonde beamed at Adam as he was praised. Even for the slightest thing being referred to as a 'good boy' never seemed to lose its punch. Every time the boy heard it, he felt a fluster of butterflies erupt in his gut. It was becoming clearer by the day that Owen had been marked appropriately and that knowledge only made him excited to learn more and continue to please. Owen watched Adam pick up a device from the table and quirked his brow inquisitively before letting out a little giggle. "Wow, I feel so silly. I was imagining like...a full-size human cage. That looks much less scary." Owen breathed a sigh of relief and nodded. "Of course, sir." With that he stood and pulled off his hoodie, revealing his impressive physique. Next came his shorts and underwear. After discarding his garments he returned to his knees, and looked on at Adam in anticipation for what was to come.

Adam

Adam chuckled and shook his head.  "I mean... did it just say 'cage?'  Because then I guess it was open to interpretation, and we could have used any kind of cage we wanted.  I assumed it meant a cock cage."  He gestured with the contraption as he watched Owen strip.  He was definitely attractive, that was for sure.  Not that Adam hadn't noticed that already, but with his clothes off, it was obvious that Owen worked out and was proud of his body.  "You look fun," he said more quietly as he moved towards Owen.  He trailed his fingers up Owen's abs, then tweaked one of his nipples to see if he reacted.  "Lean back against the table for me so I can put this on you.  It may be slightly uncomfortable, but it shouldn't be painful.  If it pinches or squeezes, say something right away."  It looked big enough, but of course you didn't want a cock cage to be too big, either, and move around.  If this one wasn't right, though, there were other sizes in the cabinet, he'd just go get a different one.  That was the perk of doing this in the practice rooms.  All the equipment they could want.

Owen

Smirking slightly at Adam's comment, a slight blush flooded Owen's cheeks. "Mmm, so do you, sir..." Owen bit his lip and allowed himself to take Adam in visually the way he was taking the blonde in. He was the pure definition of tall, dark and handsome - it was actually quite unfair. "...but I suppose now's not the appropriate time to get all flirty, huh? I'll save that for later." The submissive blew out a shaky breath at the feeling of Adam's finger's trailing against his skin, letting out a sharper gasp as the boy tweaked his nipple - his cock jerked reactively as well. At Adam's request, Owen leaned back and propped his hips out, putting his semi-hard member out for Adam to fasten the cage to it. Owen kept his eyes on Adam's as he explained what to do in the event of any overarching discomfort. "Yes, sir." the boy replied sweetly, with an equally sweet smile to match.(edited)

Adam

"Oh, you can get flirty whenever you want, pretty boy," Adam said with a laugh.  The reaction to Adam's touch to his nipple made the Dom grin broadly.  "Oh, yes, I was right.  Fun.  We're going to have to try sensory play with you at some point, if you react like this.  Tie you to a bed and just... touch you."  He punctuated the end of the phrase by leaning into Owen's space and running his hand down to Owen's cock, but not quite touching it.  He knew he needed to tone it down, though, because it wouldn't do to get Owen hard and not be able to put the cage on.  Adam crouched and very gently and deftly slid the metal ring over his cock and slipped his balls through it, then slid the cage attachment around his cock.  "How does that feel?" he asked, looking up at Owen as he held the contraption in place, before actually securing the pieces together with the little padlock that came with it.

Owen

"I'll definitely remember that you said that, sir - your ego's about to go threw the roof with me around." Owen flirted with a wink before his voice broke out in a desperately shaky groan as Adam explained how he would play with him coupled with the feather-light touch to his cock.  "Mmf... Sir." Owen panted out. "That thing's not gonna fit if you keep talking to me like that..." Clenching his jaw, Owen managed with great effort to suppress all the dirty little thoughts that Adam was putting into his head and kept his erection down enough to the cage to fit perfectly, but uncomfortably over his cock. "Oof..." Owen winced slightly at the tight fit, the chill from the metal sending an odd sensation to the sensitive skin on his genitals. "It feels....cozy, sir."

Adam

Adam laughed again and shook his head.  He definitely liked Owen.  He was a sweet boy, and eager to please, and didn't take things too seriously.  He patted Owen's hip in a soothing gesture as he looked up at the sub.  "Too snug?  We can try a different one if you thing it'll be uncomfortable to wear for any length of time."

Owen

Owen looked down at his newly-caged cock and noted that there was a little room between the head of his cock and the end of the cage. "Well, I suppose that depends on the purpose of something like this, sir." The blonde looked back up at Adam inquisitively. "If I get hard it's absolutely going to be super uncomfortable, but I've never done anything like this before. Is that what's supposed to happen?"

Adam

Adam smiled softly and nodded.  It sounded like it was okay, so he fitted the padlock into the slot as he answered.  "It is, yeah.  It's meant to prevent you from getting fully hard, and if your cock starts to try to harden, then yes, it'll definitely be uncomfortable."  He pocketed the little key and stood to look Owen in the eyes.  "That said, if it's too much, tell me immediately.  You're not obligated to enjoy the cage.  Some subs don't like chastity at all.  And some-" He slid a hand over Owen's waist and down to his caged cock, very lightly tapping it.  "-like the feeling of humiliation, of having their cock locked up, useless, unable to even orgasm, making them focus on their Dominant's pleasure instead."

Owen

Owen nodded in a show of his general understanding and gave Adam another bright smile. "Well, in that case - I'd definitely like to try and see it through. Focusing on your pleasure sounds like all kinds of fun, so if this is one way I can do that, I'm all for it, sir." The blonde arched into Adam's grasp and braced himself on the Dominant's arm, bringing his face in closer. "That said...how can I please you, sir?"

Adam

Adam smiled at the sub's clear display of desire.  "Aren't you eager.?"  He stepped back.  "On your knees for me again."  Adam sat on a nearby chair and beckoned Owen over to him.  "Crawl over here like a good boy, and show me just how much you want to worship my cock."

Owen

Owen flushed once more at Adam's observation of his own eagerness. The blonde had a reputation back home and probably at the institute already for being a bit boy-crazy. He was a flirt at heart and had a terrible time controlling himself around boys he was attracted to. Adam naturally fit the bill for someone he'd be more than boy-crazy over, nevertheless...it was still a bit embarrassing to the blonde hearing recognition of it - especially when it was said with such, devastatingly sexy confidence and coolness. Before he completely melted into a puddle, Owen dropped to his knees obediently and smiled sheepishly as he crawled to Adam. Once at the dominant's feet, the blonde's turned his gaze to the bulge in Adam's pants and wet hit lips. "Oh, sir... I want you so badly, you have no idea." Leaning forward, he grazed his nose teasingly against the dominant's crotch. "Mmf... Please, sir. May I please worship your cock? I promise to look extra pretty for you while I do."

Adam

Oh, that lovely flush on his skin, speaking of arousal and embarrassment, that was delicious.  Owen was adorable and sexy at the same time.  Not everyone could pull that off, but he did it with flying colors.  And his begging was spot on.  For someone who apparently didn't have a lot of experience, he was acing this.  Begging was a huge turn on for Adam, and it was obvious from the way the bulge at his crotch grew visibly larger.  "Such a polite boy.  Go ahead and take my cock out, pretty boy.  You can kiss it, and touch it, but you can't have it in your mouth yet."

Owen

From his place on his knees, Owen noticed Adam responding to his begging with a lot more than his words. He had to practically suppress a squeal of delight when he noticed Adam's cock throbbed under the fabric of the man's pants. Owen beamed innocently up at the other as he gave the submissive permission to do exactly what he was positively dying to do. "Thank you very much, sir." Owen quirked his brow playfully at Adam as he reached for the zipper on his pants. Leaning his face in so that his breath continued to provide sensation for Adam against his groin as Owen worked to unzip and unbutton his pants. Pulling the waistband of Adam's underwear down and under his balls, Owen's bright blue eyes widened with excitement at the sight of the other's hardening cock in front of him. Holding it in his hand, Owen leaned in and kissed the tip lightly before trailing more kisses down and back up the shaft. "Your cock is so beautiful, sir." Owen sighed out. "Please, please may I suck you?" He gave the man his best doe-eyes and made sure to hold Adam's cock right up against his face so he that he got the arousing visual of Owen's pleading, faux-innocence, hoping it would seal the deal and earn him what he so desperately craved.

Adam

Adam put a hand on Owen's head, threading his fingers through his hair, not controlling his movements at all, just because he wanted to touch the boy.  Owen's excitement was infectious, and he felt his cock twitch when the sub finally freed it.  The light touches of his lips felt like being teased, in the best way.  "Such a good boy," he murmured.  "I like hearing you beg for the chance to please me.  Go ahead, show me how good you can be.  You can suck me."

Owen

When Adam's fingers ran through his hair, Owen couldn't help but groan - it was one of his weaknesses. It was so comforting and intimate and at the same time, it made him feel especially submissive. At least, that's what he knew the feeling to be now, after a few weeks of studying. Before the institute, he just knew he enjoyed being roughed around in bed, but now that enjoyment had a name, and he was doing all he could to experience it over and over again. With that enjoyment, though - came arousal -  which was precarious in his current state. As Adam's fingers ran through his blonde strands, Owen's cock gave a start against it's metal confines. The blonde winced at the unexpected sensation but did his best to allow the discomfort to work itself out. "Thank you, sir." Owen rasped out and eagerly took the head of Adam's cock between his lips. Expertly, Owen coated Adam's cock with saliva, gave it a few pumps and brought it back out of his mouth with a 'pop' a trail of precum connected Adam's cock to Owen's wet lips. "You taste so, so good, sir. Fuck." Owen wasn't one for obscenities, but this circumstance deemed them more than necessary. Owen went back to Adam's cock now that it was properly lubricated with precum and Owen's saliva and began to suck at a much more eager pace. All pretense of teasing had been dropped.

karen04/18/2020

Despite Owen's assertion that he was new to this, he was very obviously not new to the concept of a blow job.  He knew exactly what he was doing with that gorgeous mouth of his.  Adam groaned softly as Owen's tongue slid over a particularly sensitive spot.  "Your mouth should be illegal," he breathed.  His fingers tightened in Owen's hair and he tugged a bit, not enough to move him at all, just to make him feel it for a second before Adam loosened his grip again.

Owen

Owen had Adam's cock in his hand and was playfully slapping it against his tongue when the Dominant made the comment about his talented mouth. Smirking, Owen chuckled under his breath and took Adam back into his mouth. This time - as a way to further assert Adam's point - taking his entire length down his throat without so much as a slight gag. Owen was well aware of his faults and he was even more crisply aware of his capabilities. His talent for making a man absolutely lose himself sexually was one that the blonde treasured above most of his other skills. Letting out a desperate little whine against Adam's cock when the other gave his hair a good tug, Owen popped his cock out of his mouth again and panted out for air. "Sir... I want to worship the rest of you..." He pouted up at Adam innocently. "You have too many clothes on."

Adam

Adam groaned low in his throat when Owen swallowed him down entirely.  "Fuck, boy..."  He was very good at that, clearly practiced, and clearly well aware of just how good he was.  Adam could see the confidence in his eyes, the playful way he pleasured Adam.  In another scene, Adam might have made the sub beg more for him to take off his clothes, but he was impressed with Owen, and right now, he just wanted to give the boy what he wanted.  "Then take them off for me," he said with a teasing smile.

Owen

Owen's face lit up when received permission to remove Adam's clothes. A brief concern about how his caged-cock would fare when he took of an insanely hot guy's clothes did cross his mind, but his desire trumped his logic and he sat up to begin unbuttoning Adam's shirt. Wetting his lips as each patch of skin was revealing Owen's disrobing became a bit more frantic. Finally, Adam's shirt was unbuttoned entirely, exposing a stunning expanse of musculature and anatomical perfection. Sighing out dreamily, Owen leaned in and lick a strip from the very base of Adam's cock, up his chiseled abdomen, to his chest and finally to his neck. Taking in the scent of a cologne he might've been wearing Owen sighed once more. "You're absolutely gorgeous, sir. I feel so lucky to be your good boy right now."April 19, 2020

Adam

Adam didn't often indulge in this kind of Dominance, where he did very little and the submissive did all the work, but it was fun for a change of pace.  He sat there smirking, watching Owen slowly unbutton his shirt, and moved cooperatively when Owen pulled it off of him.  God, this boy had really found that corner between adorable and sexy and built his whole home there. "You are lucky," Adam said, teasing.  "And you are a good boy.  A very good boy."  He tugged on Owen's hair again, pulling him back a bit so Adam could look him up and down.  "How's that cock of yours doing?  Is it sad about being locked up and useless?"

Owen

"Uhhnf." Owen groaned out as Adam tugged on his hair once more, sending an immediate jolt of arousal to his cock, forcing it to harden painfully against the cage it was confined to. "V-Very sad, sir." Owen whimpered out. Pouting out his bottom lip in a crude display of faux-innocence, Owen raked his hands back down Adam's body and started to use both of them to jack the Dominant's cock over his face which, positioned just below Adam's arousal was the picture of submissive desperation.

Adam

Adam grinned when Owen agreed with him in that precious whimper.  Whining and whimpering were right up there with begging to him.  "Your poor little cock, all locked away where you can't have any fun."  He hummed softly, enjoying the way Owen kept his attention on Adam's body and cock.  He was a really good boy.  "I'll make you a deal, pretty boy.  I'll let your cock out to play, but you see, a good sub like you isn't allowed to play with his own dick.  I decide if it gets played with or not.  So if I let your sad, lonely cock out to play, then I'm going to tie your hands behind your back to make sure you behave.  What do you think?  Do you want the deal?"

Owen

The blonde listened to Adam's explanation quietly, occasionally pressing his lips against the other's cock as he did so. Owen perked up when the final deal was offered and smiled warmly up at Adam. "Oh, yes sir. That sounds like a good deal to me. Besides..." Owen lapped playfully at Adam's cock, slapping it against his tongue. "...tying up my hands certainly won't keep me from giving /you/ pleasure, sir - which is my main concern, of course." Owen's blue eyes honed in on the head of Adam's cock as he spoke. "I bet I could get you to cum with just my mouth, sir - no hands needed. So, yeah - please tie me up and let me suck your beautiful cock some more..." Wetting his mouth once more, Owen took Adam's member down his throat once more, relishing in the crude, slurping noises he made as his own saliva mixed erotically with the precum that dripped from and coated the rest of Adam's cock in the process. Popping off once more, Owen giggled and slapped it against his cheek, leaving a smear of arousal on his porcelain cheek. "You're making such a mess, sir..." Owen said with a playful wink.(edited)

Adam

"That's right, that's a good boy.  My cock is more important than yours, and you're lucky I'm letting yours out at all."  He grinned at the boy, enjoying the way he seemed to be reacting positively to the mild verbal humiliation Adam was introducing him to.  He seemed delighted, and the humiliating talk seemed to only make him more submissive and eager, if such a thing was even possible.  Adam sighed in pleasure as Owen started to suck his cock again, but when the boy pulled off, Adam lightly shoved his head away, a playful gesture.  "Go get me that rope from the table, boy.  And then come and turn around so I can tie your hands behind your back."

Owen

"You got it, sir." Owen stated cutely and rose to his feet a little clumsily. He turned around and walked as swiftly as he could to the table at the opposite end of the practice room. Once there he took a brief moment to scan over all the instruments that were there; dildo's, cuffs, whips, chains - the whole nine yards. He ran his hands over the cool metal of the wrist-cuffs and sighed. It was still insane to him that he was actually here, learning how to be submissive. Without hesitating any further he reached for the rope and pivoted back towards Adam, who sat there looking as devastatingly handsome as ever. Smiling softly at the Dominant, Owen placed the bundled rope on his lap, turned around and put his hands obediently behind his back as he waited for Adam to bind his wrists.(edited)

Adam

Adam watched Owen, noting with interest the way he looked over the rest of the toys on display.  The boy looked not just curious, but wistful.  Adam would have to get him back down here and try some more of those items on him.  When Owen returned, Adam sent him a smile and took the rope from him.  "Good boy.  So very obedient."  He took the opportunity to pat and squeeze Owen's ass before he started to unravel the bundle of rope.  He wasn't planning anything fancy, so it was quick work to tie Owen's wrists together at the small of his back.  He turned the boy around with a hand on his hip, the other hand fishing the little key out of his pocket.  "Here you go," he said as he unlocked the cage and slipped it off.  "Your poor cock can come out to play."  He stroked it once, then played with the head for a moment.  "But you don't get to cum until you've served your purpose.  What are you here for, pretty boy?"

Owen

Beaming at the praise Adam showered him with, the blonde bit his lip slightly, arching his back as the Dominant took the opportunity to squeeze his ass. He considered whining and begging to be touched down there more but he thought better of it and decided that Adam's pleasure was paramount in this moment - if he was good, his own relief would come soon enough. Sighing with relief when Adam unlcoked the cage, the blonde cock immediately stood at attention while the other man toyed with it, making Owen squirm desperately on his knees. "Thank you, sir. It feel so much better." He gasped out gratefully, his lips parting slightly. "Mmf, I'm here to serve you, sir. You're my purpose. Your pleasure is my purpose. I'm here to worship you and your cock like the good, pretty boy I am." He answered readily and leaned forward, bringing his lips just centimeter's from the flushed head of Adam's cock. Looking up at Adam, he quirked a playful smile. "Do I look pretty down here with your cock over my face, sir?"

Adam

"That's right, good boy," Adam praised, very pleased with Owen's answer.  "You're here to serve my pleasure and worship my cock.  Not for your pleasure or your orgasm, if I decide to give you one."  He ran his fingers through Owen's hair again as the boy knelt in front of him, the picture of obedience.  "You look pretty wherever you are," he answered with a chuckle.  "But with my cock next to your lips, you just look like you haven't quite gotten your lips where they belong."

Owen

"Right, sir." Owen responded obediently. The blonde flushed a bright shade of pink when Adam noted that he looked pretty regardless of the setting. His bashfulness faded quickly, though - as he was reminded of his purpose for the moment. Nodding dutifully, Owen forwent all teasing and took Adam's cock back into his mouth. He was clumsier now without his hands to stabilize himself - but after a moment of sloppy attempts, making an even worse mess around his slightly swollen lips, he found a rhythm and began to suck at Adam's cock with a renewed fervor, all the while keeping his eyes innocently locked with the other man's.

HEADCANNON FOR THE REST: 

After orally servicing Adam some more, the scene moved to involve some light impact play with a crop until the dominant was pleased. Shortly after, the scene ended and Owen was administered proper aftercare.

@dominantsylvester

[jasper-hutchinson]

White Flag | Self-Para

[mentioning: @warrenhutchinsoniii / @agnescohen / @tateahadi / @taissa-ahadi / @chanelhcrcwitz​ ]

"I guess I just never felt like I needed to be here. I mean come on, I’ve..despite all the shit with my dad, I’ve had a good life. Like a really good life and it seemed...stupid for me to get hung up on my emotions. Which..is hypocritical a bit if I really think about it.” He took a deep breath and sat up a bit, feeling like he had sunk in on the couch. His therapist, recommended by Taissa’s mom, had been nice enough as he rambled through the past few months, focusing more on what had happened with Agnes than what had initially made him upset. He had a sense she could see that as she looked at him and he had to admit there was something about talking to a female therapist that was more comforting than talking to a male one. He figured he’d feel too much like he was talking to his father, though the more he thoughts about it these days, he didn’t really have great male role models in his life, aside from Chanel’s dad and the time he spent with him was less and less these days. Maybe that was part of the issue.

He took a deep breath and reached for the cup of coffee she had nicely made him, after he had denied it first and kept staring at the machine. It was all new ground to him and he was never good at not being in control, especially when he was being so vulnerable. “I guess I just..felt like a switch turned one day and I felt like..complete shit about myself. I mean I had in the past but it wasn’t as..deep. Then I woke up and looked in the mirror and I thought..who the fuck is this guy?” He let out a sad laugh and looked at her again. “You probably think I’m ridiculous, huh? Rich sad kid, how..typical.”

“The opposite, actually. Do you do that a lot? Assume what other people are thinking about you?”

His smiled dropped a bit and he sat up, giving it some thought before his eyes dropped to his cup. “I mean..yes, I-I mean I’m not always wrong but I guess..that’s fair. Don’t we all?”

"To some extent, yes, but you talk as if..you know it’s for a fact. It suggest to me that maybe, you think these things about yourself more than others do. I mean you said it yourself you’re always worrying about others more than you do yourself. Was that not part of the point Agnes was making with you?”

His expression changed a bit at the mention of Agnes and he suddenly wished he hadn’t said anything about it, not wanting his focus to be pulled away. “I-I well,” he let out a sad laugh, “I guess you’re right,” he had to admit, pushing his hair back again before he reached for the fidget spinner in his back pocket that Tate had given to him that morning, having to admit that it was pretty helpful. “You’re kind of good at this,” he added with a soft smile as he lifted his head to look at her again. “I mean not that i doubted you would be but I guess..this is why people do this, right? For those aha moments?”

“Something like that, yes. Does that mean you’ll be returning?”

Jasper nodded, finishing off the rest of the coffee as he glanced at the time, realizing he had pretty much taken up all of it, not used to spending that much time talking about himself. But he was starting to see the benefit if not the idea of letting it go, as hard as that seemed. 

“Well I’m going to give you some homework. And I really want you to put your thought about it. A few worksheets I want you to fill out and monitor your mood. But before that, I want you to take a breath and I want you to tell me something. You mentioned Agnes and Warren, Tate, Tai and Chanel, all of these people who clearly love you and care about you. So if they were sitting here in front of me right now and I asked them to tell me why they love you, why they spend time with you, why they..keep you around, frankly. What is it that you think they’d say?”

He took in a deep breath and exhaled a nervous laugh as he thought about it. “Shit well uh, that’s...okay, I guess I can go down the list. Warren probably because I’m his cousin,” he joked, “But uh, you know he’s always said I’m like a brother to him and I guess he’d say that I’m loyal and encouraging, a little bit..daring but mostly at family dinners. The stories we have,” he let out a soft laugh, his smile widening a bit as he thought about it. How much he had survived childhood because of Warren and because of their ability to see each other for who they were, not for who their family wanted them to be. “Chanel would probably roll her eyes at first and make it clear she does not like my sneakers. But if forced to, I suppose she’d admit that I’m pretty..funny, smart if not..too smart. And that I’m decent company. Protective. A horrible dancer but great spirit.” He laughed at his own words, making a note to send her a text so they could actually catch up during the holidays, he had already bought her gift after all. 

“Tai though, she probably has an endless list of good things to say about me. I know because she told me once. Uh she’s probably start with how beautifully floppy my hair is and my ability to roll a j with lightning speed. Uh she’d say that I’m...kind and generous and probably..brilliant. She’s used that words before and it makes me feel nice. Supportive too, especially with her art.” He knew he was speaking about himself but it felt different to be saying it as if he was someone else and he could see the point she was making, even though it was hard for him to admit as he looked at the fidget spinner for another moment. “Tate is the same in that he would have lots to say, he’s always hyping me up, he’s..the friend I’ve always wanted, you know?I think he’d say the same about me. Also that my vegan dino nuggets are awesome. I found those especially for him.” He took a deep breath and cleared his throat, not sure why he saved her for last when he could have just sped through it. “Agnes I-,” he sat up a bit and thought about it. “I’ve never felt better about myself then when she’s complimented me. She once called me..beautiful and I felt like it was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about me. When we..first started dating she said something like, I can’t wait to show you off to my friends, which it just..it made me feel wanted and so I uh,” he cleared his throat and clutched the spinner in his hands, “So I think she’d say a lot of things, that I’m sweet and thoughtful, loving, even. I think she’d sit here and still say I was one of the best people in the world, if not at least her favorite vegan.” He laughed softly and took a deep breath, willing himself not to get emotional. “I mean I guess, I’m all of those things, I guess I just don’t really see it,” he concluded, letting out a shaky laugh. “Fuck, is that how you end all sessions?” He pushed himself up from the couch and put the payment for the session on her desk as she scheduled another appointment with him and he nodded along, still feeling like his heart was pounding in his ears as he thought about everything he had revealed. 

His mind was in a million places as he exited the building, He still felt like he had his head underwater and they talked about the possibility of medication in the future. He just wanted it to be gone, even though he knew that was naive as he got into his truck. But he understood the point of not wallowing of what Tai’s mom had said about giving yourself time to wallow and the move forward. It was different than hiding it, he could be honest and still keep moving, or at least he could try. Still, he felt a little bolder than he had when he walked in there. Which was why he reached for his phone and selected the one number he had dreaded calling for months. He wasn’t surprised he picked up on the second ring, probably shocked to see his name at all. 

“Jasper?”

He took a moment, nodding as he could be seen through the phone. “Hey Dad, do you have some time to talk?”

[olympivnshq]

congratulations JJ !  admittedly L & i have always had particular opinions of who HADES should be, how he’d think, how he’d feel and since it’s been years since we used to picture this, for the sake of being open, and this rp, we were prepared to let go of all of that. your updated application however, sent us right back to that time, you plucked all those things we used to laugh about right out of our brains and gave it sophistication and flair. we’re looking forward to seeing more, tentatively with your first choice faceclaim: RUFUS SEWELL.

☆ﾟ*・ﾟ  OOC INFO. Hey there.  It’s JJ  (PST)  In consideration of the updated application, I decided to resubmit.   ☆ﾟ*・ﾟ  DEITY  —  GENDER. AGE RANGE. HADES —  MALE. 40ish. ☆ﾟ*・ﾟ MORTAL NAME. JOB/OCCUPATION. BOROUGH/NEIGHBORHOOD. Robert Adrian Strathos.  Wealth Management (with a bit of 'old money’ thrown in?).  Staten Island/Oakwood. ☆ﾟ*・ﾟ AESTHETICS. Cold Night Air.  Gray Skies.  Straight Lines and Monochrome.  Dark Chocolate and Espresso.  Bespoken Suits.  Bad Horror Movies.  Late Nights and Early Mornings.  Coffee.  Lots of Coffee.  Remorsefully Dead Houseplants. ☆ﾟ*・ PLAYLIST. i. Oh, cause they will run you down, down til the dark ii. I’ll wait for you there, like a stone iii. My lover’s got humor//She’s the giggle at a funeral ☆ﾟ*・ HOW WOULD YOU PLAY THEM? The reality of Hades’ existence is isolation. And it shows. Out of touch with society, and more alarmingly, with people, he is usually perceived as cruelly indifferent, pitiless, and unreachable, all byproducts of his lack of 'human’ connections.  True, this makes him very successful at his job; unbiasedly ruling the Underworld, but it also makes him a very difficult individual to connect with. To those who fall into his realm, the terms overly serious, defensively sarcastic, and inherently stubborn would not be unfair Hades’ descriptors.  It’s only the other denizens of the Underworld, and later, his beautifully patient (equally stubborn) wife, are granted some clemency from this surly disposition.  Those who have the stomach for it, will find him to be clever, darkly humored, surprisingly patient, and deeply loyal.  The Underworld has a reputation for being rather ride or die, and it is not an unfounded one. Because of his unpleasant, and often cold, first impression, Hades is often misinterpreted as a villain, but that’s assuming he operates on the same misguided principles that govern most of his extended family.  When it comes down to it, Hades is simply not very a selfish creature, he’s just a grumpy guy doing a thankless job.  He struggles with separating himself from his work on most days, especially pre-marriage.   Post-Persephone, there are definitely a few things he’s more invested in, and slowly there becomes more definition between man and realm.  He remains though, the same cranky workaholic he’s always been. ***** Rob had the privilege of growing up in a large house with wealthy parents.  From a young age he was given every opportunity imaginable, but this was more a technique to keep him unseen and unheard by disinterested parents, rather than any investment in his future. This produced a young man that was very intelligent and motivated but ill-adapt at relating to other people.   Rob may not have had the literal isolation of Hades, but that didn’t keep him from to finding out isolation isn’t reserved to being by yourself.  The world is overall just all too bright; too crowded; too loud for him, and those connections he may have entertained the idea of wanting, turn out to be disappointingly hollow.  He just can’t seem to relate, and he soon turns away from trying. After those same absentee parents pass in a tragic accident, Rob’s apparent lack of concern cements him as someone to be avoided in the workplace.  He’s too hardworking, and too successful, to be ignored, but he’s definitely the one his coworkers warn new hires about. His reputation ranges from stern and cold to neurotic and weird, all of which are true. He works too much, sleeps too little, and can probably count casual acquaintances on one hand.  He purposefully doesn’t devote much time to investing in other people, and they are happy to return the favor. The few unlucky enough to have to known him professionally, may be surprised to learn that under the serious and a surly disposition, he could actually fairly be called down-to-Earth.  Rob likes nice things well enough, but  he doesn’t particularly need them, and is quite generous, if people can get pass his initial bite.  He’s most content with a simple, practical existence and a few weird hobbies. By his work’s insistence he has a residence in Soho for appearances, but he actually lives out in Oakwood , in a historic colonial that may or may not be haunted, with one too many rescue dogs.  Some days, they’re the only reason he comes home.  Other days, they’re the reason he can barely bring himself to leave.  Maybe one day he reach his true potential and turn into the eccentric recluse he was always destined to be. answer these questions: 1. are they more likely to stand with the pantheon or against it?  ( if you are choosing a god they may endeavor to dismantle it for whatever reason ) Hades is very neutral on the pantheon.  It’s just really not his business. 2. what is their stand on mortals? Everybody dies. ☆ﾟ*・ SAMPLE PARA (OPTIONAL) There’s a memory of another time that overlaps the scene before him; a familiarity to the trembling intern that can barely speak in his presence.  What has he done to warrant such a fear?  He doesn’t know.  More than likely, the boy trembles at the thought of the institution he represents.   And he should. Contradictory to popular belief, Rob doesn’t delight in the suffering of others.  He doesn’t particularly want to see anyone fail, but he isn’t so naive to believe there isn’t consequences to people’s actions. This boy is lazy.  In his position by the good graces of his parents only, and prone to taking credit for the work of others.  He’s not remorseful for the deeds he’s done.  He’s remorseful for being caught, and is now only grovelling in an attempt to save his own face. There’s a place for people like that.  There’s a place for everyone. Rob doesn’t need to be the one to speak the intern’s sentence for him to know who’s idea it was.  Perhaps his brand of tedious punishment is unmistakable.  The intern looks at him, fear wresting with disbelief and anger for dominance.  He won’t be 'treated with such indignity.'  Rob’s certain though, he’ll live.  

[jeffsterlings-blog1]

#National Fatten Niff Up Day → A Nick and Jeff Para

Tagging: @bigboynickyd​ & Jeff Sterling Timeframe: Just a random day of the week. Location: Jeff’s apartment, and basically all of LA. General Notes: Nick comes over for Broga to get his chakras aligned, but Jeff quickly realizes there are far better ways to relax his friend. Warnings: Niff being each others personal hype man, tooth rotting fluff, a lot of ice cream. 

Jeff: Jeff shouldn’t have been surprised that Nick agreed to come do Yoga with him, but he still kind of was. He knew of very few people who were down for almost anything; most people weren’t as receptive to different things as Nick was. It was refreshing, to say the least, and he always looked forward to hanging out with him whenever they both got the chance. Nick’s energy was always contagious, so the thought of seeing his friend again instantly put him in a good mood. He wasn’t sure if he was actually serious about the yoga thing, but he was sure time would tell. It felt like awhile since he’d seen him in person, so he wouldn’t even mind if they just hung out normally for a bit.  After a short while of getting distracted by the sitcom playing on TV, and making sure nothing was cluttering the floor of his living room, Jeff heard commotion coming from his front door. With a grin spreading over his face, he called out, hopefully loud enough for Nick to hear him. “One second!” Jeff rose up from his couch with a stretch and made his way over to the door. Pulling it open, he couldn’t help but exclaim out loud. “Dude! Nick. You made it!” He couldn’t help the excitement in his voice as he pushed his door open wide for him to come through. His first instinct was to reach out for a hug or a fist bump or something, but he figured he’d at least let him get through his door first. “Wow, can’t believe I’ve got the legendary Nicky D on my doorstep. Maybe I should instagram this.” He joked slightly before waving him in. “Come on in.”

Nick: Nick was beyond psyched to spend some quality time with Jeff. He didn't care what they were doing together... He just liked being around the guy and they just got along so well that Nick was up for anything. Yoga wasn't exactly something he would do on his own but Nick kept an open mind about it all and trusted that Jeff would help him get all of everything he didn't understand. When he arrived at Jeff's place, he was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet and nearly tripped into the door because he was so excited. When the door opened, he yelled out at the same time as Jeff, stepping inside and scooping Jeff up into a big bear hug. "Dude!" he exclaimed, clearly overjoyed just from seeing him. "Jeff, man, it's been too long!" He laughed, still grinning ear to ear when he finally broke the hug. "We'll definitely alert the public of this amazing meet-up but I'm gonna be selfish for now. Man, Niff Squad back at it again!"

Jeff: Seeing how excited Nick was only hyped him up more, and he grinned wider as he was pulled into the worlds biggest hug. Not missing a beat, Jeff wrapped his arms around the guy tightly. “WAY too long. Can’t go that long again, man, I missed you.” He laughed out of excitement  as they broke the hug, and he took a small step back in order to give him space to come in. “They can wait, honestly, I wanna be selfish too and savor this Niff reunion first. How the heck have you been??”(edited)

Nick: "Don't worry... now that I'm a free man again,  I plan on hanging out with you every chance I get!" Nick told his friend, feeling relieved that he wasn't on a filming schedule anymore. Now inside Jeff's abode, he closed the door behind him and took a breath of air. "Honestly, man, I, like, really needed this chill day," as he spoke he seemed to deflate a bit from his initial exuberance from seeing his friend but still wore a smile on his face. "Now I'm only tellin' you because I know you're my boy and you'll keep my secrets but partying all of the time..." he let out another sigh and chuckled, "... it gets exhausting after a while, you know what I mean?"

Jeff: “Sounds good, we’ve gotta make use of our free time when we have it. I’ve been cutting back on my live shows so I can focus on other things. Sometimes you just need a break.” He calmed down some himself, and looked at him with some concern. “Hey, that’s what I’m here for, right? What good is it having bros to begin with if you can’t have chill days with them at least sometimes?” He knew Nick liked to party. That was no secret. But sometimes he wondered if it ever got tiring for him. He knew it was in Nick’s personality to be the life of the party, but everyone needed down days. Clearly Nick needed one today. “I know exactly what you mean. We can hang out here all day if you need that, Nick, I’ve got a clear schedule for once. We can Yoga it up, complete with incense and everything.” Jeff grinned again. “I’ll go easy on you, though, and if it isn’t vibing with you we can just watch a movie or something.”

Nick: Nick was glad to hear that Jeff was also clearing his schedule to catch himself a break. Even though he had no first-hand experience in that field, he was sure playing shows all of the time was probably exhausting.  "Yeah, definitely. I live for the days when I can just kick back and chill with you, bro. I am so psyched to yoga this thing up," he told Jeff with a determined nod of his head. "We can do the whole shebang with the yoga, the incense, and--" he paused as he tried to think about the other things related to that and then shook his head. "Well, you know all that jazz so today I am completely in your hands and I'm just gonna follow your lead." He did a little curtsy-bow, "Brofessor Jeff, Yoga Master." With a slight chuckle, he looked around eagerly. "So when do we start?"

Jeff: “I never thought I’d hear you say you’d be psyched to try Yoga. Or anyone, really. But I’d be honored to be your Brofessor.” He tried to say with a straight face, but his amusement shone through nonetheless. Nick was always so over the top over everything; it was one of the reasons why he was so fun to hang out with. “I’m not like, an expert, but I live for this kinda stuff. You’re in good hands. I do this every night; helps me sleep.” He laughed as Nick bowed and shook his head in amusement. “We can start now, if you wanna jump right into it. Take your shoes off, make yourself comfortable. I found some Chocolate scented incense at this shop downtown the other day. Had no idea those scents were a thing, so of course I bought it.  I can put that one on for you. I think you’d like it way better than my Frankincense.” He held his hand out to signal for Nick to wait a moment as he walked over to the counter that already had his supplies on it. He didn’t always go all out, cause he wouldn’t be able to take himself seriously if he was full out meditating every single night. But for Nick he’d definitely pull out all the stops — even if he didn’t end up being a fan of Yoga, maybe he’d at least have fun with the situation. “Alright, student Nick.” He said as he lit the end of the stick with a lighter that he’d left beside everything. “We’re starting out slow. Go ahead and sit down, criss cross applesauce style.”

Nick: Nick didn't really understand the whole yoga thing but he knew it gave Jeff peace and made him happy, so he was willing to try the things that made Jeff happy, too. "Yeah, totally-- let's just jump right into it!" he said with a broad grin, eyebrows lifting at the mention of chocolate. "Oh, man, chocolate scented?! For real?! I didn't even know that was a thing!" Nick kept where he stood but bounced on the balls of his feet, bubbling with excitement. "I thought that stuff just came in like, flower and herb smells. That's so awesome!" He watched with wide, interested eyes as Jeff lit the incense. This was a whole new experience to Nick and he wanted to know more about everything. When Jeff told him they were starting out slow, he did his best to reel his excitement back in and sat down just as instructed. "Criss cross applesauce," he repeated, taking a deep relaxing breath of air as he sat straight up. It was a little difficult to dial back his intensity but he knew relaxation and serenity was important in yoga... Nick just wanted to impress his friend that he could do this.

Jeff: Jeff knew it sounded a little ridiculous to people at first when they found out that he was into Yoga, among other similar activities. It wasn't just for girls or Mom's, though, it could be for anybody. So he was kind of really excited to do this with Nick. No matter what happened, it'd be fun. Things with Nick were always fun. "I didn't know until yesterday. I won't lie to you....It does kind of smell like a stale Tootsie Roll. But that kinda reminds me of Halloween, personally. And Halloween is always a fun time. So I say we just go with it." He smiled at Nick's excitement; it was honestly so pure. He'd seen him on TV before actually meeting him, and he was expecting some douchey party dude who was always wasted. But that wasn't Nick at all, and it didn't take him long to see that. And to want to befriend him ASAP. "It is mostly herb and floral scents, though. To be honest with you they kinda make me sneeze. Incense is so not for everybody."  Already barefoot and ready to go, he walked over to stand in front of Nick before slowly lowering himself to the ground. "Good. We just want you relaxed first. Normally I'd play music, but last time I did this I blasted Aerosmith for about an hour. And that might not be for everybody, either." He smiled at him and straightened his own back. "Okay! Sweet. We're just going to focus on our breathing. Nothing too crazy.  It helps if you close your eyes, just listen to my voice. It'll be like Simon Says without the mind games. Just breathe --- In. And out."

Nick: The aroma of chocolate filled Nick's nostrils when he took a deep breath in and he exhaled with a wide grin on his face. "Whoa," he giggled. "Man, I love the way Halloween smells. Plus, you can't really go wrong with candy, know what I mean?" He listened to Jeff talk about different incense smells and he almost wanted to just smell all of them right now to see which one he liked best. "This incense stuff is like perfume but like... it's just the air. It's so awesome, man." He grinned when Jeff sat down across from him. It was difficult for him to sit still but he closed his eyes at Jeff's suggestion and then all there was were the chocolately smells and Jeff's voice. "Simon says 'breathe'?" he joked with a quiet voice before following the blond's lead and breathing in and out as evenly as possible. He could already feel himself begin to relax a bit and that usual insistence to have his energy cranked up to 11 wasn't quite so insistent anymore.

Jeff: The grin never left his face as Nick continued to be wowed by everything. “Maybe you should invest in some. I’m telling you, man, it’s relaxing. You can probably find other candy scents, too. I’ll keep an eye out for you.” Jeff’s own eyes fell shut, and he was about to focus on his own breathing when Nick joked. A snort escaped him, and he cracked an eye open to look at him in amusement. “Simon says please breathe so you don’t die. I kinda need my best brodude to survive this yoga session.” He let himself fall silent for a second so Nick could focus. “Most of yoga is just breathing and learning how to carry yourself. Think about things that relax you, or make you feel good. Then push all of the bullshit out of your mind.” He began softly, hoping his talking wasn’t killing the mood. “Then we’re gonna stand up and do some stretches, ‘kay, dude?”

Nick: Nick was glad that Jeff liked his joke. He always liked attention but getting it from the people that mattered to him was his absolute favorite. Getting a laugh or two out of his friend was worth way more than any kind of ratings or the number of likes on a tweet. "Your bro's gonna be aces at this breathing thing," he insisted as he continued breathing in and out. He tried to think about happy things and then nodded. When they were quiet again and all that could be heard was the sound of each other's breathing, Nick let himself relax again. He thought he was doing really well so far. "Stretches, got it." Nick worked out and lifted weights on occasion and he always stretched beforehand so he figured it would probably be just like that.

Jeff: "You're already doing awesome, I mean --- you already know how to breathe, thankfully, so that's one thing out of the way." Nick seemed so intent on learning this Yoga thing that Jeff decided they should probably progress sooner. "Okay." He tried not to sound too amused. He kind of liked this whole teaching Yoga thing , especially if the students were all like Nick and super into learning it. "Let's stand. We're gonna do some of the classic stuff. Just simple balance stuff. Did you ever have to do gymnastics or something when you were in school?"

Nick: "This yoga stuff would really hard if I didn't know how to breathe, man," Nick laughed as he opened his eyes and followed Jeff to stand up off of the floor. Even if the mood was calm and quiet, he was actually having fun so far. He tried to think back to his high school days and couldn't remember doing anything like this or anything like gymnastics. "Uhhh, I didn't do any gymnastics but parkour is kinda like that, right? I can do some pretty awesome parkour!"

Jeff: "You prove an excellent point." Jeff looked at Nick for a moment as he thought about what would be best for him. "Did you really? That's so cool --- parkour was so big back in the day. Yoga is nothing like that. But. You still have to use strength! So I mean, it's kind of similar?" He thought out loud before rising to his feet. "Okay, my dude --- Up. Get ready for some stand-still parkour. If that even is such a thing. We're gonna balance and hope we don't fall over and break ourselves." He spoke with a solemn nod.

Nick: Nick brightened up when his friend commended him on his parkour skills but then deflated a bit when he also pointed out it wasn't really the same. But oh well, this whole thing was about new experiences anyway so he was still in the moment of it all. "Stand-still parkour," he repeated Jeff's words and nod. "Dude, I have ah-mazing balance so no worries here. What's first? Some cool handstands?"

Jeff: "If you wanna jump right into that --- then sure. I'll be here in case the ground shakes and you lose your balance." He nodded, not wanting to say it's a real possibility that Nick could very well lose his balance all on his own. "We may as well so you can see how cool it is when you really ---" He snapped in the air for affect "---Nail that pose." Jeff stretched his arms over his head as he looked at him, pondering how to go about this. "Okay. We're just gonna twist around for a bit until our muscles feel stretched out. Then. THEN, dude. It's gonna get real." He twisted his torso from side to side briefly. "And then....we're gonna reach down, and plant our hands firmly on the ground. Sound good so far?"

Nick: Nick laughed as Jeff snapped his fingers and he wasn't about to disappoint. He stretched along from side to side just as the other did, limbering himself up. "Right, Zombieland rule number eighteen-- limber up!" he nodded and was determined to really nail this handstand. It seemed like Jeff was pretty confident about this. "I didn't think there were actually cool handstands in yoga; I'm so ready, bro." he told him, taking a step back and planting both hands on the floor while his feet swung into the air. He staggered as he struggled to find his center of balance, 'walking' a bit wobbly with his hands before losing his balance completely and falling over-- directly into Jeff.

Jeff: “There can be anything in Yoga. You just gotta make it look fancy.” Figuring he should lead by example, Jeff also got in the position to do a handstand. Okay. So maybe it wasn’t traditional Yoga — whatever, he never claimed to be an expert. And Nick seemed to enjoy the idea of it, so why not. With his hands firmly on the floor, he let out an excited laugh at Nick’s words. In retrospect, maybe he should have taken one hundred steps back before they both tried this. But it was too late, because before he knew it, Nick was toppling over and onto him before Jeff was even fully balanced himself. Letting out a surprised yell, his hands wobbled and he began to crash down forwards and into Nick. “Watch out!” He tried to warn although, obviously, it was too late because they were both down now. “Are you okay??”

Nick: Nick let out a little groan from having fell over and then tried to laugh it off, untangling his limbs from Jeff's and lying down beside him. "I'm cool, don't worry, man," he chuckled and then turned his head to look at the other. "Are you okay? I didn't like, elbow you in your face, did it?" He pushed himself into a sitting position to get a better look at Jeff, making sure he hadn't bruised him. His tone had changed from joking to concerned. "Sorry I fucked up our yoga sesh... I thought I had way better balance than that."

Jeff: That was definitely not a professional move on his part, maybe he shouldn’t be opening his own Yoga studio anytime soon since. “No, you’re fine. I think you kicked me in the shoulder, but I also think I kicked you in the stomach. We both beat each other up. I think you had the worst of it, though, you came down pretty hard. You sure you didn’t break anything?” He lifted himself up and shook his head as a smile began to creep onto his face. “I’m fine, I promise. This isn’t the first Yoga related accident I’ve ever had.” He teased and reached out to rest a hand on his shoulder. “You didn’t. I’m sorry I ruined your first Yoga sesh. We should have started out small. You probably don’t feel super zen right now. I don’t guess you’d wanna try again?”

Nick: Nick shook his head. "No, bro, you didn't ruin anything," he insisted, and Jeff's reassurances made him feel a little bit better. "It'll take a lot more than a foot to the stomach to keep me down. We can totally try again, though... I mean, I kinda suck at being your bro-ga student but I don't wanna be a quitter, either." He looked up at him and offered up a smile, patting the hand resting on his shoulder. "One little yoga-related accident isn't gonna keep me away from learning this stuff."

Jeff: "Dude, you're the best Broga student, don't get yourself down. Accidents happen, right?" He clapped him on the shoulder and dropped his hand down to the floor in order to push himself up to his feet. He reached a hand down to Nick to help him to his feet. "You went in head first, literally. I've never seen anyone try to learn that fast." Jeff shook his head. "What do you usually do to relax? We can try one of your things, since my thing almost killed you. Otherwise we can try to do some more handstands. Or cartwheels. I'll be honest with you, not the most traditional Yoga moves. But it is more fun."

Nick: With Jeff's help, Nick returned to his feet. "Maybe when I practice my balance, we can try this yoga stuff again," Nick suggested.  "Whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so since I only almost died today, I'll be a master of yoga in no time!" When prompted about his preferred method of relaxing, Nick crossed his arms over his chest and a perplexed look came over his face.  He couldn't really remember a time where he specifically went out of his way to relax. He was always on the go or doing something or getting drunk. "Uh... does sleep count?" he asked with an embarrassed chuckle.

Jeff: “Eh, after a few more times, you’ll be way better than me. Guaranteed. We can try it again whenever; next time I’ll make sure to spot you so we have no other incidents.” Jeff raised an eyebrow at him in curiosity as Nick thought. “Hey, it can! I take naps all the time, dude. That always helps. And I mean, I’ve got extra room if you wanted to do that --- but no, I meant other stuff. Like Yoga. This chill day is for you. I said we’d help you find your zen and I meant that.” Jeff nodded, mostly to himself. “We will find your version of Yoga even if it kills us. Okay... no, that was dramatic. You know what I mean.”

Nick: "My version of yoga..." Nick mumbled to himself as he continued to ponder. He really appreciated that Jeff was so eager to help him out. It was true that Nick felt a little more stressed out than usual, especially after having spent the last month or so partying every single night. "I dunno, man..." he said, his instincts telling him to crack a beer or maybe something even stronger. But Nick wasn't here to drink. He didn't want to party-- not today. "I gotta find a thing that ain't about me getting drunk or doing other stupid shit... Like how you got your yoga and it's like, relaxing and smells amazing." He plopped himself down onto Jeff's sofa and let out an audible, exasperated sigh.

Jeff: "Yeah. And it could be anything. Playing video games, rock climbing, you could even paint ceramics if that was your thing. Screw what anyone has to say about it." Jeff came over to sit next to him, almost feeling bad that the Yoga thing didn't work for him, although he did know it wasn't for everybody. "You know, before I picked up the Yoga stuff, I was a mess." He admitted. "I was stressed out, like, all of the time. It was really effecting me mentally. But one day this friend of mine dragged me along to one of the sessions, and I thought I'd hate it --- but I didn't. You never know until you try things, you know?" He paused, in thought. "Okay, get your shoes back on, we're going out. Don't ask me where, because I'm 100% not sure. But we're gonna do something that'll blow your mind, dude." Hopefully.

Nick: Nick thought about all the things Jeff listed for him. Video games were fun but not exactly relaxing, and rock climbing was probably a little too close to working out to be considered relaxing for him. He never considered himself artistic to do any painting but that sounded like it could be fun. It really touched him that Jeff was trying so hard to figure out what could be Nick's new thing. "I totally feel you on the mental thing, man," Nick agreed, "I can't just be out partying all of the time because sooner or later I'll burn out, you know what I mean?" He perked up and looked at Jeff with curiosity when told to put his shoes back on but he trusted Jeff. He knew that Jeff would never lead him astray or make him do something he didn't want to do. So he listened and did exactly as he was told, excited for where this day was about to take him. "Alright, dude, adventure time?" he said, grinning from ear to ear as he followed Jeff's lead.

Jeff: "Yeah, I know what you mean." He offered him a small smile. Nick was always partying, whether it be for the show or in his downtime. When he used to party himself, he'd come home mentally drained almost every time. He couldn't imagine how someone could do that full-time, but Nick was different. He was fun and lighthearted and literally a bro to everybody. It was hard to picture him when he was feeling down, even now when he was telling Jeff it got to him. He didn't want his friend to feel like that, so he was going to try to distract him for at least a little while. "Adventure time." He confirmed proudly and stood up himself and walked over to the side of room to slip his own shoes on and grab his phone, wallet, and keys. "We live in one of the coolest cities ever, why not explore it? This day is yours, dude, we can go anywhere you want to."

Nick: "Anywhere?" Nick asked with a chuckle, thinking about all the places he usually visited. He knew he needed more variety in the places he liked to go to because all that popped into his head were different bars and clubs. Taking in another deep breath of air, the strong chocolately scent filling his nostrils, this time his stomach growled. "Ice cream," the words left his lips and then his mouth filled with saliva as he thought about the snack. "Or donuts." His stomach growled again, this time louder, and he laughed. "Can eating be my relaxing thing?" Nick joked.

Jeff: "Anywhere." He confirmed with a nod of his head. "Um, of course it can. Just look at Guy Fieri. His hobby is food too and he's killin' it." Jeff joked back, but was also sort of serious. "There's this ice cream place a couple blocks away. I say we check it out, then go from there." He made sure he had everything he needed and faced Nick completely. "You up for that?"

Nick: Nick had an excited sparkle in his eyes when Jeff affirmed that eating was a valid hobby. "Man, I could argue the only thing I love doing more than partying is eating good food, you know what I mean? Like, sometimes food is, like..." he gestured with his hands broadly as he tried to come up with the right word. "... healing, y'know?" He nodded eagerly at the decision for the both of them to go get ice cream, all ready and set to head out. "I'm so up for some ice cream, bro."

Jeff: “We’re gonna get you some food, then.” Jeff said decisively before nodding towards his door and walking towards it, silently urging Nick to follow. It made him happy that he found something that seemed to excite him. Jeff couldn’t blame him that it was over food. Food excited him from time to time, too. “Is that where the term Comfort Food comes from?” He thought out loud as they headed out. “We could have also partied if that’s what you wanted to do.” He offered lightly. “But I’m into this ice cream idea. We’ll have way less accidents than the whole Yoga thing.”

Nick: "Yo, I never even thought about that!" Nick exclaimed regarding Jeff's 'comfort food' comment. "But yeah, sometimes all food is comfort food. And sometimes I give a shit about eating healthy... I just wanna eat what I wanna eat. Right now I wanna get some ice cream into my belly." With a laugh, he followed Jeff out of the house and they headed down towards the ice cream place. "But dude, we gotta do the yoga thing another time. I won't let you down, Brofessor Jeff. I promise I'll get better at the balance and yoga thing. When I nail the yoga-ing, then we can celebrate with some partying!"

Jeff: "You know what, you're allowed to treat yourself. Why not, right? Eating healthy can wait 'til tomorrow." They began to walk, and while Jeff could have offered to drive, he thought against it. It was nicer anyway, and besides, this way they'd just end up wherever their feet took them. It'd be more of an adventure that way. "For sure. We'll definitely have to celebrate your graduation from Brofessor Jeff's School of Yoga. Or, you know, if you don't like that we'll just have to party because we got some good ice cream. That works too." He spoke as they rounded the block. "It's been awhile since I've partied Nick-style. I think I'm starting to forget what it's like. Scary, right?" He joked as they continued on.

Nick: Nick nodded with determination when was told that they could eat healthy tomorrow. It wasn't often he treated himself to unhealthy foods and today was one of those exceptions where he just didn't care about what went into his gut. It was a beautiful day in LA and Nick was going to make sure he and Jeff both enjoyed themselves to the fullest. "We'll get you to a kick-ass party soon, dude. I found some pretty awesome places on my quest for the perfect club and there are some that play some awesome tunes, too! We can also both go somewhere totally new to either of us and that'll like, but its own adventure on its own, you know what I mean?"

Jeff: Jeff ate relatively healthy himself, but he liked food as much as the next guy. So the prospect of having a cheat day was as appealing as their Yoga day was. “Yeah? I’d be down for checking some of those places out soon. You got me at awesome tunes.” It’d been awhile since he had last partied, and while he made sure he didn’t go too crazy on the drinks, making public appearances were something his manager strongly encouraged. Plus, Nick always made it more fun with his attitude, so that was always a plus. “Do clubs ever offer you free entrance to come check them out? I feel like you’re kind of a big deal for clubs and bars.” He asked, curious as they neared their destination, and opened the door to let Nick in first. “I’m always up for trying something new. Who knows where we’ll end up, man? I’m glad you’re doing this with me. You’re totally gonna be my go to Adventure Dude. While you’re on hiatus and have the time, at least.”

Nick: “Oh yeah,” Nick answered the question with a slight scrunch to his brows. “Before, when I was a nobody, sometimes I couldn’t even get my ass in a bar but now that I’ve done the show sometimes I’ll get, like, VIP invites and stuff.” He nodded and his eyes lit up at all the different flavors listed at the ice cream shop. “Dude, you know if you wanna party, next time I get the heads up for some killer event, we can totes go together. The world needs to know about the Niff Squad! Everybody in the club would be so psyched to see you show up!” Thinking more and more about this future hangout together was getting Nick excited all over again. “I got a pretty open schedule for a while... they told me they wouldn’t call me back ‘til next summer but who knows, right?”

Jeff: "Now that everyone knows you, I bet they're beating themselves up for not letting you in. You’re basically almost a club promoter now. I have no idea what it is they do, though.” He commented as he observed the flavors himself once they stepped inside. “I’d be happy to make an appearance. They won’t know what hit ‘em when Niff shows up. You’d hype them up so hard they’d have to be psyched to see me.” Nick was good at that --- he made things and people seem way better or cooler than they actually were. It got everyone he was around excited, for sure. “Next summer? That’s forever! But I guess that’s a good thing, right? Getting an extended break.” He smiled at the clerk behind the counter and order two scoops of the most chocolate-looking ice cream he could find, before looking to Nick so he could choose his. “It’s on me, dude. I almost killed you with Yoga so it’s only right.”

Nick: Nick wasn’t sure what a club promoter did either or what he did constituted as such. “Dude, I dunno... sometimes the clubs let me in for free but then sometimes they pay me to promote their club. Like, one club paid me a bunch to tweet about them and pose for some pictures but it wasn’t like I was rollin’ in the dough, you know what I mean? I got more from the show but I ain’t lookin’ to be greedy with the green— I just wanna have a good time.” When they stepped closer to the counter, Nick’s eyes went as wide as saucers as he watched the worker behind the counter scooping together an ice cream named Triple Fudge Chocolate Brownie Supreme. He didn’t know what was in it that made it supreme but it sure sounded and looked delicious. “Yo, that chocolate, bro,” he said, pointing at the chocolate ice cream that had been prepared for Jeff. “That looks like it’ll give me a chocolate coma when I’m done eating it!” He laughed. While the clerk scooped together another ice cream cone, Nick turned to look at Jeff. “Dude, you didn’t have to get it. I’ll definitely hit you back... Drinks are on me when we party together, alright?” The clerk handed him his ice cream cone and Nick decided to take a huge bite out of the top scoop instead of doing the normal thing and simply licking it. “Ohhh, dude...” he laughed again, mouth half-full with chocolate ice cream as he nodded. “This was the best idea we’ve had yet!”(edited)

Jeff: “You’re pretty much a spokesperson for cool things, then. I think you’re way more of a rockstar than I am, hands down.” Sure, it wasn’t like, what most people would consider a conventional career. But really, no career in the public eye was conventional, and the partying seemed to make Nick happy. Jeff was glad he found a thing he liked doing, even if Nick did say it left him drained sometimes.  “Hey, dude, if this is gonna be our wild cheat day --- why not get the Chocolate Coma Explosion?” He said in a serious tone as the ice cream was scooped for both of them. “Nah, don’t worry, but if you insist on the drinks, I won’t say no.” He wasn’t much of a drinker these days, but when he was dragged out to party, he didn’t mind having a few. Jeff pulled out his wallet to pay for the ice cream before tucking it back in safely and grabbing his own cone with one hand. From the corner of his eye, he saw Nick chomp into his, and tried to fight back his smile. The fact that his friend was so over the top goofy at times was endearing, and it was relaxing to be around ‘cause Nick didn’t judge him for being over the top either. “I honestly think it might be. I haven’t had ice cream in like --- eighty years.” He licked the bottom of the cone so it wouldn’t drip down onto his hand, and jerked his head towards the door. “Wanna stay here or continue on? Who knows, could end up finding even more junk to consume. Go big or go home, you know?”

Nick: Nick knew that Jeff wasn't as much of the partying-type like himself; he wouldn't force him to drink if he didn't want to but for Nick, drinking always seemed to make parties a bit more fun. He liked to respect everyone's-- especially Jeff's-- personal relationship with alcohol and wasn't going to push. "Well, if we get anymore food then I'll fork over the dough for it, 'kay?" he asked, taking a handful of napkins from the counter, already desperately needing it for the chocolate around his mouth. "We definitely gotta go big, dude. Like, first ice cream and then donuts or pizza or, like, just whatever sounds good, y'know?" He motioned for them to take their ice cream to go just as Jeff had also gestured. Thankfully another patron opened the door for them as they were leaving, so Nick wouldn't have to get his chocolate hands all over everything. When they were back outside, Nick started walking in no particularly decisive direction. They were in the middle of the city and odds were that if they kept walking, they were sure to run into something interesting or tasty. "Life advice, bro? Always go big. Because, like, if you want to win anything-- a race, your self, your life-- you have to go a little berserk... you know what I mean?"

Jeff: “If we end up finding anything equally as bad for us, sure.” He grinned and took a bite from the side, not nearly as large as Nicks but big enough to be greeted with an onslaught of chocolate. “Or one of those weird things, like a cheeseburger but instead of buns it’s donuts.” He suggested, before his face scrunched in slight disgust. “Or, okay, maybe not that. But yes to the other things.” Jeff was thankful for the random passerby opening the door for them, otherwise he would have had to open it with his back and shoulder and he always got weird looks when he did that. “I believe it. I know it’s your life’s motto and it’s been working pretty well for you so far. You’re a pretty hard core dude. Right now though all I wanna win is more ice cream. And maybe a pizza. I also wouldn’t say no to winning the lottery.” He took another bite as they walked along. Jeff was more of a go with the flow type of person, but he appreciated Nick’s philosophy nonetheless. In the distance, he noticed a few people staring in their direction, fairly obviously. He smiled at them briefly before turning his attention back to Nick.  “Uh, dude. Either we’re lookin’ real good today, or we’ve been recognized.”

Nick: Nick had made pretty good work with his ice cream, it already more than half gone and they'd just barely left the ice cream shop. He made an interested noise when Jeff proposed finding a cheeseburger consisting of donuts; it sounded like something he would at least try once even if it wasn't yummy. "You know I'll eat pretty much anything, bro," Nick said, thinking about how a cheesy, oily pizza would compliment this chocolate ice cream really well right now. "I could totally go for getting pizza and winning the lottery, though."  Looking up when Jeff mentioned being recognized, he looked in the direction of the staring people and shot them a wink and a single finger-pistol. "Uh, dude, it's obviously both. We look sharp-- ay eff-- and there's no foolin' anyone when Niff Squad is on the run." After Nick had acknowledged the people, it seemed they thought it was okay to come over and approach them. "Um, I don't mean to bother you both-- oh my god, I'm such a huge fan of you, Jeff, and I watch your show all of the time, Nick--" one of the girls that had approached them was speaking a mile a minute and she looked nearly overwhelmed just from this interaction. "Can I, um, can I please have a picture with you two? My brother would die if I met you and didn't get a picture!" Nick exchanged a look with Jeff... being recognized always boosted his already inflated ego. "How about it, dude? Niff squad selfie for the pretty peoples?" he asked, wiping the remaining chocolate off from around his mouth so he'd look picture perfect.

Jeff: Jeff was an active guy; he ate healthy and worked out on a regular basis. Which is why he didn't feel one shred of guilt over demolishing his ice cream and still thinking about more food. "I don't know if we'll be able to win the lottery today, but we should be able to hunt down a pizza somewhere in LA." He was a little slower to finish his ice cream, still with half a cone left when they saw the small group. Jeff laughed as Nick played it up for the people, and in turn Jeff waggled his eyebrows and lifted a hand to wave. "You might be right. Or we just have chocolate all over our faces." He teased, before the girls decided to walk over. This wasn't the first time either of them have been approached by strangers, but it was still so weird to Jeff that he was actually recognized right off the bat. Nick, he understood having so many fans. He was practically a meme, so everyone knew his face.  But having people recognize him too always flattered him. Jeff couldn't help but smile at the earnestness, and turned his head to exchange looks with Nick, offering him a subtle nod. "I think the lady means she wants me to take a picture of you two." He joked, dumping the rest of his ice cream in the nearby trash (as sad as that was, he didn't want to talk to the fans with sticky fingers). "But I like my selfies as much as the next dude." He moved around to stand beside the fan and motioned Nick over to the other side. "Okay, let's do this! Nick, we have an honorary member of the Niff Squad now. Does that mean we have to rename ourselves?"

Nick: Nick loved all of the attention and having people want to take pictures of him and with him. "Yeah, make sure you tag us when you upload this pic and hashtag us 'Niff Squad'!" He laughed, posing to take pictures with the girl who was fangirling over them. Unlike Jeff, Nick didn't get rid of his ice cream and didn't care that this girl's pictures would have a half-eaten ice cream in them. "Yo, my boy Jeff is one of the coolest cats I know, we're like, best buds, you know what I mean? And, plus, he's like the most talented musician that I've ever heard," he told the girls who just seemed to nod along and listen. Nick was especially high energy when talking with fans and this was an opportunity to get Jeff some exposure, even if it was just to these two girls-- one of whom didn't even really engage in conversation with them-- either because she didn't know them or she was just too shy. "Niff Squad is open to any honorary members but we're the founders and gotta keep the name for future branding, y'know?" He insisted with a determined nod. "Hashtag-Niff-Squad."

Jeff: Jeff could tell Nick was getting even more enthusiastic than he already was over the attention. The girls were eating it up, too, and Jeff couldn't blame them. Nick's energy was always infectious, even if he was making Jeff the center of attention. He'd be embarrassed if it were anyone else talking him up, but it was Nick and Nick was just always the worlds nicest guy. And Jeff was used to his elaborate ways by now. "Don't listen to this guy --- he's just biased 'cause I got ice cream with him." Jeff laughed off any bashfulness, and his lips quirked into another smile. "Look at him, though." He raised a hand in Nick's direction, "What an icon. I'm glad you guys asked to get a picture because I've been dyin' for another selfie with this guy. You guys are a bonus, of course."  The first girl seemed excited, but the other one seemed just along for the ride. Jeff wasn't offended, though. The first girl looked like this was one of the best days ever. Jeff stood next to the excited girl and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and waved Nick in closer so they could all get in the angle. He smiled big as the girl lifted her phone up to get ready to snap a series of pictures. "Is that what we're going with, for sure? What about Niffocalypse? NiffNation? Nifftackular?" He named off the first things off the top of his head, glancing down to see the fan smiling from ear to ear. "We should post a poll to see what everyone thinks."

Nick: Nick got in close, all buddy-buddy, posing with his best friend and the girl who was excited to meet them. If he had all the time in the world he would snap pictures all day with whoever wanted them. He waved off Jeff's praise and blew a raspberry with his lips, chuckling. "Oh, c'mon, bro, you are so much cooler than me," he said, adamant on that fact. “Like, you literally got me ice cream and it tastes amazing!” He half-sang the last word, finishing off his ice cream before throwing away the waste. The girls giggled at Nick’s antics and his rapport with Jeff. “You two seem so close!” Nick nodded. “Uh, understatement of the century, girl! Jeff here is my BBF— best bud forever!” Turning back to Jeff at the mention of a poll, he immediately whipped out his phone and tweeted it out, listing all the names Jeff had come up with. “We’ll let the people decide, then! Surely they won’t steer us wrong, right?”

Jeff: Jeff let out another loud laugh at Nick's antics. "It's not like I made the ice-cream. But you're welcome." The girls seemed amused by Nick, and Jeff was glad that they'd run into them, because it was fun hanging out with fans when they were cool like this. And Nick was having fun with it too, so it was a cool moment. Jeff nodded along with the sentiment, because as goofy as they got sometimes, Nick really was his best friend. "He's right, we've got friendship bracelets and everything." Okay, so that wasn't really accurate, but Jeff vaguely remembered finding some girls hair tie in the floor of a bar one night long ago and sticking it on Nick's wrist like it was a present. Perhaps not his most creative moment. After a few selfies with the fan, Jeff stepped away in order to look over Nick's shoulder nosily. "Nick, they'll definitely steer us wrong. But I say we do it anyway." He was throwing caution to the wind. Nick was rubbing off on him. Jeff looked over to the girls still standing by them. "Any suggestions while we're doing this? Nifferoni? Niff---?" Jeff frowned in thought, and gently tapped Nick on the shoulder as he spoke. "Hey, why aren't we Jick? Or Neff? Or Stuval? Who decided on Niff, was that me or you?"

Nick: Nick smiled and chatted animatedly, nodding his head as he continued to talk Jeff up. It was all the truth and Nick meant every word, grinning from ear to ear at this interaction. The girls that were talking to them seemed thrilled that they were talking up so much time just to speak with them. "Dude, if we legit got friendship bracelets I would cherish the fuck out of it and wear it all of the time," he said with a serious expression on his face.  As Nick tweeted out the poll about their proposed hashtag names, the thought of their supposed ship/duo name hadn't even occurred to him. Who exactly was it that got to decide this fact? It was probably some self-righteous writer of some cheesy fan blog somewhere on the Internet and it just happened to catch on. "'Stuval' sounds way more dignified than 'Niff', man,"  Nick said out loud as he thought about all the different possible ship names. He honestly couldn't even remember if it was either of them that thought the name up. "I have no idea, bro. It's a good thing you thought of that because after we trademark that shit, there's no going back, you know what I mean?"

Jeff: No one he’d ever met in his life talked him up as much as Nick did, and while Nick was just naturally an excited and exuberant guy, Jeff knew he was also being genuine. “Next time I’m sucked into doing arts in crafts, I’ll totally make you one, bro.” Jeff nodded, also with a serious expression. “Maybe too dignified.” He agreed with a nod. “Well yes it’s a big deal. This is a name that could be on our future merch.” He joked. “Honestly, though, no matter what they pick, I still like Niff the best though. We’ve been calling ourselves that for too long for it not to stick.”

Nick: Nick nodded in agreement. "Definitely, bro. No matter what the media or the fans label us, we'll be Niff forever." They waved the girls goodbye as they went about their way, both men headed in the direction they were originally walking before they were stopped. "I mean, like, we've known each other for what, two years already? Man, you're like my best bro and even if you become super famous and go away to live somewhere crazy like, I dunno-- Finland... You'd still my best bro, you know what I mean?" Nick said, trying to properly emphasize himself using what vocabulary he knew.

Jeff: “Why does Niff Forever sound like the title of an action movie?” He joked, waving the girls goodbye with a large grin. “Finland, huh? While that sounds like a cool experience, I think I’m good where I’m at here. I’ve got family and friends. I’ve got you. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” Jeff looked over at Nick, understanding what he was trying to say. “Yeah, dude, I know what you mean.” He was trying to be more upfront with the people he cared about lately, but Jeff didn’t want to make the moment too cheesy by professing his undying friendship either. So he just gently nudged his arm with his and grinned, not for the first time that day. “Alright. Come on. I promised you a super chill slash cheat day and we’ve only even scratched the surface. I say we should hit up a pizza joint and any other greasy food eateries and take it all back to my place. Think anyone else will recognize us on the way?”

Nick: Nick laughed at Jeff's joke, the title in bright, bold, flashy letters popping out to him in his head with the two of them in cool action poses for the movie poster. "It totally sounds like the title to the last movie of our action movie saga," he agreed. He was glad to hear that Jeff had no intentions of leaving because Nick wouldn't even know what he would do if Jeff went away somewhere. It felt like they had been Nick and Jeff for such a long time, he couldn't even remember much of what it was like before he'd befriended Jeff. Not having much words to agree on the matter either, thinking Jeff had summed it up really well, Nick just nudged him right back with a goofy grin. "Pizza, yessss," Nick half-spoke, half-groaned as he thought about the cheese and oily pepperoni hitting his taste buds. "I need me some pizza pie in mah belly. Right. Now." Nick began looking around as they walked down the street, wanting to go to the first pizza place within view. "I don't doubt it, dude. We're both in LA and that girl was just one in millions just waiting to see Niff in the flesh." In addition to looking for a pizza joint, he also kept an eye out for any other people that might be staring or even following them. "I think more people will recognize you, though, because you're like, you're totally booming in the music industry now, y'know? And, and," he jumped once or twice as he walked, "People will probably totally bug you to get, like, backstage passes to your shows and stuff."

Jeff: “We’ll have to file that one away for future reference, then.” Jeff was at a point in his life where he was feeling good where he was at. When he was a little younger, he was set to move just about anywhere regardless of the consequences. But now it was different; it felt like his life was coming together again here in LA. And more than that, Nick was his favorite person. He made everything seem better than it actually was just by being around, Jeff didn’t want to imagine what it’d feel like if he wasn’t there. Nicks groaning over the pizza made him laugh and nod along in agreement. “Okay then let’s do it, I don’t want you to starve. Or me. I only got to eat half of my ice cream because I was dumb and threw it away, so now I’m like, super hungry.” Jeff didn’t actually think they’d run into more fans, because when they were just hanging out like this, it didn’t feel like when he was hanging out with other people who were in the spotlight. It was just him and Nick, not some reality star and musician. It never occurred to him that they’d be spotted until it actually happened. Seeing Nick bounce up and down made his smile grow; Nick was nothing if not exuberant.  “Yeah, right. I don’t think you realize how well known you are. Your face is all over the internet, and everyone knows you’re this super cool party dude. I’m just your lanky musician friend who’s always tagging along.” Jeff had his own following, sure, but in his eyes Nick was just more memorable with his friendly brodude attitude and funny sayings. “You know that has happened, and I almost want to. But then I get annoyed, you know? Because that comes out of my own pocket. Then I just look like the bad guy for saying no.” He paused his small rant as they got further into the city and neared more shops, the scent of several types of foods hitting his nose at once. “We’re close. I know there’s this place somewhere ahead. I don’t know about you, but I’m so hungry I could start runnin’ for it.”

Nick: Nick didn't figure anyone else might recognize him; it was one thing to be recognized whenever he was at a club but another to be recognized off the street. Maybe because he was with Jeff and he felt like he could actually breathe and just be himself, he was less in the reality TV mindset and more about just being a regular guy hanging out with his best friend in the middle of LA. But what Jeff was saying was true... He was more in the public eye than he had ever been and it was sometimes a bother when it showed its face in his non-partying life. "Luckily people only like, swarm me and ask me about shit when I'm out at clubs and stuff, you know what I mean? I haven't really had anyone really bother me in the daytime." He shrugged then, not giving it much thought. When Jeff explained his past experiences with people egging him on for free stuff, he shook his head with disapproval. "Just because people see us IRL doesn't mean they can just ask for free shit-- Man, who do they think they are?" At the mention of more food, Nick's stomach grumbled and then it practically roared when the aroma of foods wafted around him. "Oh, man, I could totally go for all the foods right now. I want, like, a smorgasbord of every food right here, right now."

Jeff: Making it big and being known everywhere was something that sounded better than it actually was. Still, Jeff wasn’t going to complain about how lucky he was to actually get his music out there. And he was sure Nick liked a lot of the aspects of being well known, too. It was just a lot for anyone to deal with 24/7. “That sucks, though, because that’s when you’re trying to have fun.” He cast a sympathetic glance at Nick. “You know... this is awful, but you could always pretend to be too drunk to understand what they’re saying.” He suggested, and almost felt bad about it, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. “They just don’t know better, I think.” It doesn’t make it any less wrong, but when he took a step back and thought about it, it helped Jeff not get as annoyed in the future. “Can we do that?” His stomach and workout regimen would hate him tomorrow, but today he couldn’t care less. “Like...everything? All at once?” His eyes widened as he thought of the possibilities. “We should have brought someone along who can say no to our ideas, because neither one of us know how to do that.” He said seriously before grabbing onto Nick’s sleeve and tugging gently to alert him as a pizza place came into view. “I’d apologize for making this National Fatten Niff Up Day, but... I’m kind of excited, dude.”

Nick: “Sometimes it’s cool though, because people will buy me drinks just to party with me,” Nick laughed, finding it almost funny that anyone would actually pay money to hang out with him because when he was at the club he felt he couldn’t be in a friendlier mood. Even with his celebrity status now, Nick always just wanted to have a good time whenever he was letting loose at the club. “I totally could pretend like I don’t even know what they’re saying and just mumble stuff at them! People are dumb anyways and they’d believe it!” He snickered at the idea of tricking people into thinking he was too drunk so he wouldn’t have to engage them; it was a good idea and he might actually give it a try the next time he didn’t want to deal with people. Nick looked in the direction Jeff was showing him, getting excited at the prospect of pizza getting into his stomach very soon. There was a little skip to his step as he quickened his pace, making a beeline for the pizza place. “Bro, we should just totally christen today as National Fatten Niff Up Day and we’ll totally do this every year!” He said, the excitement obvious in his voice as he linked an arm with Jeff’s and pulled him along into the pizza place. Luckily it didn’t seem busy and they could go right up to the counter. “Garçon! What is your best pizza on the menu?” His stomach growled as the gooey cheesy smells invaded his nostrils and he was wondering to himself if he should get just a slice or a whole pie. They might get other foods after this, after all. “Dude, what should we get?” Nick turned to ask Jeff, looking to him for advice.

Jeff: "I can't say I blame them, I used to buy you drinks so I could party with you all the time. You're a fun guy to be around." Nick was fun to be around when he was sober, but truthfully, Jeff wasn't sure if a lot of his fans knew that side to him. "You could! Think of it as fine tuning your acting skills. Plus it'll give you time to yourself to just live." Having time to yourself away from the fame was necessary in order to keep your sanity; Jeff had learned that the hard way once upon a time. Jeff quickened his pace the second Nick did. He had no doubt in his mind that he'd be on board for it, but still, Jeff's excitement grew as the other man agreed. "Seriously --- can we do that? Obviously not everyone in the world will celebrate it, but I'll put it on my calendar and everything. Make it Niff official." Sure, some people scheduled cheat days once every week. But planning one huge feast with his best friend once a year? That seemed way cooler. Jeff let himself be pulled into the pizza place, and immediately was assaulted with the smell of cheese and sauce and grease.  He heard the guy working behind the counter laugh and answer Nick's question, but Jeff was too busy thinking about what to get to pay much attention. "How about... one large? And have them split it up into different sections. One fourth vegetable, because we need to be somewhat healthy. One fourth meat, because meat, duh. One fourth cheese. One fourth pepperoni? That way we get the best of all worlds." Jeff squinted at the menu and then looked back at Nick. "Is that too much?"

Nick: “Yeah, but you never needed to buy me drinks, dude. You’re like, the coolest guy to ever party with,” Nick told Jeff, grinning ear to ear. “And like, whenever we hang out I never have to... pretend, you know what I mean? I never gotta worry about what you think ‘bout me or what I’m acting like ‘cause we’re cool, y’know?” He hoped that the other man would understand where he was coming from but he could tell just from looking at him and grinning that he did. “One large pizza,” Nick repeated back to the guy behind the counter, pointing at him. “Exactly how my bro described with the fourths and getting a sample of all the awesome deliciousness.” Jeff was really smart and Nick continued to believe so; he had the best ideas and Nick never would’ve even thought about that. He probably would’ve just bought four separate pizzas without even thinking. Then that definitely would’ve been way too much. “That’s like, the perfect amount of pizza between the two of us, man. And that leaves room for a second dessert or something for when we’re done!”

Jeff: Nick’s compliment made him grin, although Jeff thought that Nick calling him was the coolest dude ever was a stretch. Jeff was, like, reasonably cool. “I’d hope you weren’t pretending around me. We’ll still be bros no matter what, you know?” He said before getting distracted by the pizza. Nick and him seemed to have the most casual heart to hearts, but it didn’t make it any less true. Nick was always there for him, after all, so he hoped he knew that Jeff would do the same for him. Jeff nodded along with the order. It was a little complicated, and he hoped they weren’t pissing the employees off by ordering four pizzas in one. But the idea sounded too appealing not to try, so he wanted to go for it anyway. “Yes. Like donuts — or cake. I won’t lie to you though, I kinda want more ice cream.” His grin turned sheepish. “I’m still not over me throwing mine away like an idiot.”

Nick: Even with the order being a bit complicated, it was definitely doable and this time Nick was determined to foot the bill after Jeff had so generously covered the ice cream. “Dude, after we get this, we should totally pick up like, a gallon of ice cream to take back to your place! We can totally pig out on pizza and ice cream and if we wanna get anything else, we’ll just call go deliver of get us some Uber Eats, y’know?” Nick pulled out his wallet to pay for the pizza, award they had to wait for it to cook before they could take it home. “In fact, bro— it’ll take a good twenty before we can even start on the pizza so let’s go get some ice cream now and then on the flip side we can pick the pie up before getting back to your place, know what I mean?” Thinking about ice cream again had Nick thinking about what he had missed out on with his first dessert: sprinkles. “We gotta get like, loads of sprinkles and chocolates and— oh, dude nuts and cherries! We can totally make an awesome sundae tower!”

Jeff: “I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. You. Are a genius. I love that idea.” Jeff exclaimed enthusiastically as the guy behind the counter took their order, with some confusion on his face, probably at their excitement moreso than the actual order. He noticed Nick take out his wallet and nearly stopped him because it felt weird whenever anyone bought his stuff, but let it go because he did buy the ice cream earlier. And would probably be buying more ice cream later on, as it looked. “Wow. Okay. Yes. And caramel and that chocolate sauce that makes a hard coating around the ice cream.” Jeff nodded enthusiastically. “Alright, dude. Lets go.” He stepped away from the counter, suddenly eager. He liked his ice cream sundaes and he wasn’t about to pretend otherwise. “Then we can just hang out at my place. They just added a bunch of stuff on Netflix. I don’t know about you but now I just wanna eat and be lazy.”

Nick: Nick nodded enthusiastically, the idea of lazing around and eating food at Jeff’s place sounding more and more appealing by the moment. After paying for the order and letting the guy behind the counter know they’d be back for their pizza in a bit, Nick all but dashed out the door with Jeff in tow. “Dude, we should get, like, a bunch of different flavors. Because I love that hard-chocolate-shell stuff on vanilla but caramel tastes amazing with pecan ice cream and whoa— just imagine all the different flavor possibilities? Like, talk about flavor explosion, you know what I mean?” He said, talking a mile a minute. He hadn’t even realized that with all of his talking and getting excited about ice cream, he was all turned around and didn’t know which direction they were supposed to be going in. “Dude, where are we even? You gotta lead the way ‘cause all that’s on my brain is ice cream and pizza right now.”

Jeff: As they headed out the door without a second thought, Jeff allowed himself to think out loud. "Caramel and pecan sounds so good, dude. Or if I get chocolate ice cream, and graham crackers, and mini marshmallows --- with the hard chocolate stuff? Ice cream smores, man." Of course, the second they actually attempted this, they may decide it's too sweet to actually eat. But the thought alone is fun, so Jeff is all for it. "Flavor Explosion should just be the name of an ice cream bar. Where they have all the toppings for you to pile on. You know, like a frozen yogurt shop only not as healthy." He was excited for the ice cream, but Nick seemed even more excited. They were going to end up with way too many sweets, Jeff knew already, but he didn't have it in him to be an adult about the situation. They didn't do this often, so he was going to enjoy it. "Uh. Yeah, okay. I got this." He looked at the street signs ahead and mentally calculated how far the nearest store would be. He'd grown up in LA, so while he liked to pretend he was just aimlessly walking around sometimes, he still remembered where most things were at. Or the general direction they were located in, at least. "We're about a block away from a store. I go there a lot, so I can guarantee they've got what they need." He offered Nick a friendly grin and waved his arm in front of him before continuing on. "Just follow me, I'll make sure we don't get lost. I'll be your human Google Maps for the day."

Nick: Nick pointed at Jeff as he listened to his ice cream bar idea with the toppings. "Dude, when we're super famous and rich, that should be, like, a thing we actually do! Y'know how celebrities are always either opening restaurants or cosmetics lines to further their success? Bro, we should open up an ice cream bar with all the toppings and it'll be uh-mazing because first, duh, Niff would be running it, and two, you're a freakin' genius and celebrity icon!" He followed Jeff closely as they made their way to the store, making a mental list of all the sugary and chocolate-y goodness they would bring home with them. He trusted that Jeff would know the way and they could bring back a bounty of ice cream and toppings. "Man, I wish I had your sense of direction... I feel like half of the time I don't know where the heck I'm going when I'm walking around here but somehow all the Uber drivers know exactly where I need to go when I tell them."

Jeff: "Yeah, dude, and open it right across from Danny Trejo's Donut Shop. Not that I'd want to be his enemy or anything, but he might stop by and come into our shop. And if Machete himself buys ice cream from our ice cream shop --- that'd be pretty cool." Nick and him seemed to have a lot of ideas, and if they bothered to follow through on even 1/3 of them, they'd probably be, like, shark tank rich. He slowed down some so Nick could follow along, knowing his friend tended to get distracted easily, but not minding in the slightest. "It's just something you get used to after awhile. I grew up around here, some things stick. My Dad didn't believe in free rides, so by the time I was thirteen, I had to walk just about anywhere." His family were serious about making sure their kids be self sufficient. "If you ever get super lost, Uber is amazing. Or you could have me come out instead." He grinned and shrugged as they turned the corner, the small store now in sight. "Alright, dude. You grab the toppings, I'll grab the ice cream?" Jeff suggested as he pulled open the door, waiting for Nick to follow suit.

Nick: "Oh, man, the Machete getting ice cream from our shop? Damn, that's a story I'd never get tired of tellin' at parties and stuff, y'know?" Nick laughed excitedly at the idea. It was almost tempting enough that he'd derail his entire movie idea just to open up said shop with his friend, but they had so many ideas in a single day alone that it all couldn't be done. Nick admired Jeff's independence; it was something he didn't have much of himself since he always relied on his parents for money. It was almost like the independence Nick had for himself wasn't really real-- at least not like the kind Jeff had. "Your dad sounds like a hard-ass but damn if it didn't make you know your way around... Maybe I should, like, just spend the day in LA without my phone and just figure out which street is which," he mused aloud. When they arrived at the store and Nick was given instructions to grab the toppings, he gave a determined nod of the head and moved to grab one of the shopping baskets to fill. He was going to get nuts, marshmallows, cherries, bananas, caramel, and the fancy chocolate fudge that hardened when you poured it out. He made sure to get two of everything-- just in case one wasn't enough for the two of them. In the end, it felt like he had almost too much in his basket but Nick figured you couldn't have too much of a good thing and these things were good.

Jeff: "Right, once you reach that level of awesome, there's really no topping that." You'd think that being in the public eye would stop one from feeling like a fanboy at the prospect of meeting celebrities, but nope. Not a thing. "That's saying something, but the crazy old man's methods did work. I mean, he's insane, but he's smart. Just don't tell anyone I said that." He joked, but God forbid that actually get back to his Father. They were both on speaking terms, sure, but that didn't mean they were ready to have any Full House moments just yet. The whole "turn them loose and see if they'll sink or swim thing"  isn't necessarily a parenting style Jeff agreed with, but it helped him shape up real fast. And it was in the past, he couldn't be bitter about it forever. He was trying to learn to let old things go. "You're fine, you know. You know your way around fine, if you ask me. But you could if you really wanted to. Just be careful and stay where crowds of people are." He said in concern without thinking, not that he didn't think that Nick wouldn't be okay, just an unnecessary bout of worry. He knew Nick could take care of himself, but still. He couldn’t help it. "You know, so all your adoring fans can keep you company." He smiled at him teasingly before they entered the shop.Jeff headed straight towards the ice cream, making sure to pick up the Pecan Ice Cream for Nick first before deciding on some Chocolate Fudge Brownie one for himself. Then, on a whim, he picked up two more flavors at random and tossed them into the basket. This was going to be way too much, and he knew it in his brain. But his heart was saying yes.  He juggled them in his arms for a moment, nearly giving himself frostbite, before some store clerk took pity on him and pushed him over a basket. Smiling gratefully at them, he unceremoniously dumped the cartons of ice cream into the cart and set off to find Nick. He didn't have to go far, before he rounded the corner and saw him with his own basket --- piled with nothing but various toppings. "The cashier is going to think we're hosting a birthday party or something." He greeted with a laugh, leaning his arms forward on his cart. "Jeez --- think we have enough?"

Nick: Nick grinned when he met back up with Jeff and his smile grew even wider when he saw the various cartons of ice cream that Jeff had picked out. “Awesome!” He cheered, doing a little fist bump with his friend as he scanned over their find. “Dude, this is technically National Fatten Niff Up Day So we’re definitely celebrating somethin’!” They pushed their carts over to the checkout lane but not before Nick spotted some waffle cones. “Bro,” Nick showed off his find before tossing it into the cart along with all their ice creams and toppings. When they made their way over to the cashier, the clerk eyed the two of them with caution and amazement, almost unsure if he should comment on the amount of sweets they were getting. “It’s National Fatten Niff Up Day, dude!” Nick supplied an explanation to the clerk, setting their things onto the conveyor belt one by one. “Um, and what is a ‘Niff’, sir?” The clerk asked. Nick’s jaw dropped in disbelief before he gestured between himself and Jeff. “We are a Niff, man! Don’t’cha check what’s trending?” He asked before pulling out his wallet.

Jeff: Nick's excitement was practically nonstop throughout the whole day, so it was contagious. No one else in the world would probably be down to get as much junk and binge it all with him, but Nick was always cool like that. He let out a loud laugh and fist bumped him, clearly agreeing. "Celebrating being lazy as hell and eating a bunch of food?" He asked, playfully, giving Nick's find an appreciative nod before they pushed their carts onward. Helping load everything on the belt, he wasn't even a little phased to hear Nick exclaim so loudly to the clerk.  Jeff glanced up at the both of them in clear amusement as he sectioned the ice cream and some of the toppings off so he could pay his half. "That's our ship name, like Brangelina. You know." Jeff tried to explain to the poor guy who wouldn't understand it, talking with his hands as he did so and waving one in the air as though that would help him gain clarity.  "It's an internet thing." He grinned and paid for his things as it became his turn. He lowered his voice in a stage whisper as he spoke to the cashier. "Personally, I think he coined it originally because his name is conveniently first, but that's borderline conspiracy theory territory." He continued to say jokingly so the guy wouldn't feel too awkward at the influx of Niff information. After saying thank you, he nudged Nick's shoulder gently and jerked his head towards the door. "And we're off. Pizza here we come.  I'd race you if our hands weren't full of bags."(edited)

Nick: Nick didn't get how some people just weren't aware of his and Jeff's presence in the world... He was under the impression they were both pretty well-known in each other's respective industries but clearly Nick needed to do more work getting themselves in the spotlight as a dynamic duo. "There's always a reason to celebrate and Niff is totally one of them!" he all but cheered with his exuberance shining through. He heard Jeff's whisper and chuckled, knowing that he was just joking around. He playfully elbowed him in his side, "Hey, hey, Niff is catchy and everyone knows you're the cooler one between us!" He grinned ear to ear and with all their goods now in plastic bags, they hauled them off towards the direction of the pizza shop. Of course, Nick let Jeff take the lead because he didn't want to accidentally lead them off into the wrong direction. "Dude, you'd win that race," he said, glancing down before laughing, "You're like, all legs and you do that yoga stuff so you're probably hella fit. Plus I don't think either of us wanna drop this ice cream and have it goin' everywhere."

Jeff: There were likely more people aware of them as a duo than Jeff fully realized. Sure, they had their sizeable fanbase online, but he just didn't fully realize the extent. So when Nick talked them up to people, trying to get their name out there, Jeff just figured it was him being Nick. But he always did think Nick had more of a grasp of the fanbase and what the people liked. "Dude, I'll always celebrate Niff." He half-heartedly dodged the elbow to his side with an easy grin and laughed. "Niff is catchy. I'm not doubting that. We're both cool,  okay? Just in way different ways." Jeff began to navigate the way back to the pizza shop, juggling the bags in both arms. "Hey, you never know until we try. It'd be a fair race. You're fit too, you might be one of those people who's a super athlete and doesn't know it. Not that I feel like testing that theory right now 'cause you'd beat me no matter what today, I'm too focused on food and not dropping it. But one day, dude --- be prepared for the Niff Olympics." He was joking, but honestly, that sounded like something they'd do. Jeff hiked the bags up in his arms as they continued on closer to the pizza place. "You know... It's a really good thing we're doing all this walking now, because later when we're in a food coma, we're going to be glad we at least exercised a little bit."

Nick: "Niff Olympics!" Nick parroted back but with ten times the volume and excitement. "Dude, that would make for an awesome YouTube video idea if we ever did that!" Imagining the two doing a bunch of different races and obstacle courses and challenges would not only be extremely fun for the both of them, but he was certain thousands if not millions of people would definitely want to watch something like that. "We can totally celebrate Fatten Niff Up Day today, because we're exercising now and the National Niff Olympics is officially in the works!" He laughed even though the joke sounded like a genuine idea for a future fun day. "Man, you come up with the best ideas... I gotta get my brain into high-gear if I wanna come up with some ideas, too! Ice cream can be considered a brain food, right?" he asked as they got back to the pizza place. "Or maybe at least pizza could be a brain food." With their grocery bags of ice creams and toppings, and now a large pizza to juggle, they were officially out of hands to get anymore food. But Nick knew it would be worth it when they made it back to Jeff's place and he was eating an ice cream feast out of a giant bowl. "Dude, I know this yoga day kinda took a turn for the weird with all this ice cream and pizza but we totally exercised with all this walking instead of Uber-ing around and we're all good, you know what I mean? There's always tomorrow, bro."

Jeff: Jeff had a feeling Nick would be a proud supporter of the Niff Olympics, and he had to agree. It kind of did sound really cool.  "Honestly, maybe we would be good YouTubers. We could totally do that and have randoms judge us so it's a fair contest and everything." Jeff grinned back at Nick and nodded seriously. "Ice cream is totally brain food, dude. And with how much we're gonna eat tonight night, our brains are going to get super huge. Like when regular people get poisoned with radioactivity and turn into superheroes." They finally reached the pizza place and Jeff stepped in for just a moment to grab the pie, precariously juggling it in one arms he walked back out to join Nick. "Weird, maybe, but I'm not complaining. I always do Yoga. I don't get to hang out with you and eat a bunch of trash food as often as I'd like." One of the bags nearly slipped from his hands, but with a quick fumble of all his limbs, he caught it and continued to walk as briskly as he could to his apartment so the ice cream wouldn't get melty. "True...One day, I'll show you Yoga for real. And make sure you don't fall. Unfortunately real Yoga involves way less handstands."

Nick: Doing YouTube videos was not only a completely valid way to gain or grow a following, collaborating videos together with Jeff sounded like a whole lot of fun. He already had an awesome time whenever he was hanging out with Jeff and they got into all sorts of shenanigans practically every time they hung out, it made sense to share that with the public. “We should totally plan some stunts and stuff for YouTube, man! I mean, like, obvs we wanna have our privacy too but it’d still be cool, you know what I mean?” Nick agreed with Jeff that even though this hadn’t been the most physically productive day, he couldn’t remember the last time he had so much fun that wasn’t alcohol-induced. This day had just been a day full of genuine fun with a guy he really liked. Another day doing this— or whatever it is they’ll end up getting themselves into— was absolutely in their future. “Bro, handstands or not, I totally wanna get schooled in the art of yoga and learn all I gotta know to be in the know... y’know? I mean, you just caught those bags while juggling the pizza and had that been me, man, I definitely woulda dropped it.” When they returned back to Jeff’s, Nick was determined to get the biggest bowl possible and fill it to the brim with ice cream, toppings, and fruit to make the most stupendous-looking sundae ever.

Jeff: “Okay...you’re right about the privacy thing. We barely get enough of that as is. Maybe we should wait awhile on the YouTube thing.”  He was having a lot of fun, and while they did run into a couple fans, it was a good experience. And he basically got to spend the whole day with Nick, so that was always a good day in his book. “Alright, then, next time you come over for Yoga we’ll get serious. Promise. You’ll be an official Yoga master. Trust me though, Yoga had nothing to do with that —just years of being clumsy and learning how to prevent bad messes. It’ll totally make you feel stronger though, when you find your balance and can hold it it’s just... awesome.” They finally arrived at Jeff’s place and he headed straight to his kitchen, setting down all of the items in relief. Without skipping a beat, he walked over to his cabinets and looked inside. “Alright, dude, we got two options. We can each make our own, or —“ He reached an arm up to reach back into the cabinet, pulling out a large mixing bowl. “Make one huge one and just share it. I will warn you though, I’m gonna add literally everything.”

Nick: Hearing Jeff promise that they would get back to the yoga one day soon put a smile on Nick's face and he nodded enthusiastically. It seemed like it really helped Jeff out and maybe it could help Nick too; he was always looking for something new to do and having an outlet that wasn't partying would be beneficial. While yoga might've not been what he needed, he knew it'd be relaxing or at least fun to try. "Bro, I totally wanna get into my inner-yoga peace, y'know? With you as my teacher, I'll learn it in no time!" Nick placed the bags down on the counter with an exaggerated exhale of air as he rolled his shoulders. Given the two very tempting options, Nick's eyes widened at the sight of the large mixing bowl. "Dude..." his mouth nearly filled with saliva as he imagined all the amazing ingredients together to make one mouth-watering bowl of deliciousness, "We gotta go with the huge ice cream with everything in it!" He started taking the things out of the bags so they could start adding them into the giant bowl.

Jeff: “Next time then, it’s happening.” Jeff spoke as he fished out his ice cream scoop and a handful of spoons. He set them and the bowl down on the counter as Nick agreed, and excitedly reached out to help Nick unload all the ice cream and toppings. “This is such a bad idea.” He said happily, with a small laugh as all the item were spread out in front of them. “I’m so excited. Okay, here we go.” He handed the scoop and a few spoons over to Nick and took a few spoons for himself. “Ready to just... scoop everything in there? Don’t hold back, man. Let’s make this thing insane.” He began taking the lids off the ice cream nearest to him, genuinely excited for this.

Nick: With a big toothy grin, Nick nodded. He was almost tempted to just empty the entire container of ice cream into the bowl but this amalgamation of flavors was almost an art form; it needed to be controlled yet-- as Jeff had properly put it-- insane. As the lids came off of the ice cream containers, Nick started scooping different flavors into the large bowl. "Hell no, this isn't a bad idea, man," Nick protested Jeff's opinion as he layered scoops of ice cream with some chocolate and caramel before returning back to topping another layer of ice cream. "I've said it before and I'll say it 'til I get to the grave, bro: you're a freakin' genius! Like, this is gonna put me in a food coma later but it'll be so worth it!"

Jeff: He watched as Nick carefully started layering the ice cream in the bowl, almost as though it were an art form. It didn't take him along to want to get in on the action, though, and soon he was pushing the ice cream tub towards Nick and reaching out for the toppings himself.  In between scoops of ice cream, Jeff would help sprinkle on some of each topping they'd picked out. They 100% without a doubt went overboard today, but Jeff was really happy to be here with his best friend. Even if they were building a Heart Attack Sundae. "It's your idea, too. We're both culinary geniuses here. Look at how beautiful it is." He grinned and grabbed two clean spoons off the counter, sliding one over to Nick. "You wanna do the honors and take the first bite?"

Nick: When their amazing ice cream sundae was topped and it seemed the bowl could barely hold anymore, Nick took a step back to marvel their creation. Jeff calling him a culinary genius almost made him feel smarter and he beamed. "Bro, I gotta snap a pic first," he told him, taking his phone out of his pocket and doing just that. Maybe if he remembered afterwards he would take an "after" photo but for now he would tweet out the pic and tag his best friend. "Hashtag: National Fatten Niff Up Day," he read aloud as he typed and tweeted, making sure to hit up all his social media handles.  He gladly took the offered spoon, eager to take the very first bite of their very large sundae. "You know me too well, dude!" Nick sunk his spoon as deep into the sundae as he could, scooping up as many different flavors and toppings into one huge bite.  Making an exaggerated chomping noise as he put the scoop of it all in his mouth, he made a pleased sound as the flavors hit his tongue. His eyebrows lifted higher than he ever thought possible and he nodded eagerly as he continued making noises, pointing to the sundae with his spoon. With his free hand, he gave his friend a thumbs up and urged him even with his mouth full of ice cream to take a taste for himself.

Jeff: Jeff was so eager to attack their creation that he didn’t even think to Instagram it. Nick, though, always the more internet-smart of the two, pulled out his phone just in time. “See, you have the best ideas too.” Jeff fished into his own pocket, deciding that snapping a picture of Nick taking a picture of their sundae would be excellent Insta material later on. He made sure to stand just a little in frame of Nick’s shot too, so the fans would know he was in on this too. Jeff laughed at the hashtag Nick added to the tweet. “Now everyone’s gonna blow up our phones wanting in on this. I almost feel bad we can’t share it. Almost.” But not quite. Jeff set his phone on the counter beside him and rose his eyebrow in expectancy as Nick took the first bite, eager for his reaction. The look on his face was priceless, and the subsequent moans had him grinning from ear to ear. “I take it it’s good?” He said fondly as Nick chewed the mouthful of ice cream. How he wasn’t getting brain freeze was beyond Jeff, and he was pretty sure Nick was super human. He’d always had his suspicions, he didn’t know anyone else with his energy. Except for maybe himself sometimes, but he blamed that on Nick’s influence. “Alright. You’re making it sound awesome. I’m gonna get in on this.” He grabbed his spoon and moved it around in the bowl, paying careful detail to make sure he had every topping like Nick did before piling it in his mouth. “Oh my gah.” He mumbled around the ice cream, trying to chew it too despite the cold. “Thish ish amazsching.” He knew talking with your mouth full was gross so he reached a hand up to cover his mouth. With his free hand, he dropped his spoon in the bowl so he could put the cartons of ice cream out away before they melted.Swallowing the sugary concoction, Jeff was finally able to speak as he closed his freezer door. “I’ve never been more happy for yoga to NOT work out. That might be the best thing I’ve ever tasted, hands down.” He turned back around to lift the bowl up with his hands, and motioned towards his living room with his head. “Grab your spoon. This thing is totally going to be gone in five minutes.”

Nick: "Almost," Nick shared Jeff's sentiment as he swallowed what was a rather large bite and licked his lips, savoring the taste. Shoveling bite after bite into his pie hole might've been something he'd do but Nick actually wanted to taste every last bite of the deliciousness they had created together.  "People'll see the pics we snapped and totes want the recipe to try and recreate this madness!" Nick laughed, grabbing his spoon and following Jeff's direction to head towards the living room. He managed to reach over and scoop another bite before the two of them plopped onto the couch together. Whether they ended up watching TV or doing whatever else, Nick didn't mind either way as long as he had more of the extremely sugary sundae all up in his mouth. "Bro, we could totally do, like, yoga and then ice cream for an after-broga treat, you know what I mean? Like, nothing insane like this but I think ice cream is a sweet incentive-- literally."

Jeff: "Then the recipe is what we'll give them. Take one bowl. Take everything sweet in your freezer and fridge --- mix and serve." Their followers would more than likely think that there were more people going to eat this than there actually were. If they knew it was only the two of them who were going to eat this, they'd probably get some judgement from health enthusiasts. Jeff carefully held the bowl in his arms as they plopped onto his couch. Instinctively, he kicked his shoes off below him so he could sit criss-crossed on the couch, carefully setting their ice cream beside them. "Don't tempt me, Nick. That sounds like fun. I'd be calling you over all the time for Yoga. We'd be having ice cream like every day." He laughed again and dipped his spoon in the bowl, scooping himself out a bite slightly smaller than the last. With the spoon hanging out of his mouth, Jeff leaned forwards to snatch the remote off the table in front of them and flick the TV on, the screen already on the main menu of Netflix since that's what he'd been doing before Nick came over. Clearly, he was having a wild day. Taking the spoon out of his mouth, he leaned back against his couch. "What should I start? You have any preferences?"

Nick: Any possibility of backlash from healthy eaters and parents went completely over Nick's head; it just wasn't even within his frame of mind to consider those consequences whenever he did something for fun. Eating three times the amount of ice cream ever meant for an ordinary human just seemed like fun and he wasn't hurting anyone so why would anyone get mad?  "Dude, we could totally start a broga blog where you can be like, the yoga guru and then we always follow every lesson up with a ice cream flavor of the day!" Nick suggested, another bite down the hatch. With Jeff turning on the TV and Netflix appearing on the screen, he wasn't all too sure. "Hmmm," he pondered out loud with another bite of ice cream in his mouth as chocolate syrup was beginning to drip from the corner of his mouth. "I dunno, just no reality trash, y'know?" he said, scrunching his face a little and frowning as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and then wiped the chocolate onto his jeans. "Something fun where, like, no one dies 'cause I ain't about the negative right now, know what I mean?"

Jeff: "A live stream of Broga followed by ice cream? I could get into that." He thought about it, nodding along to the idea.  Yoga legitimately was one of his favorite things ever. If Nick wanted to really do it for real, he'd be more than happy to show him. He just didn't want to bore the poor guy. Jeff began to scroll through his options, avoiding everything in his Instant Queue because he never actually seemed to watch anything he put in there. Jeff was beginning to wonder if he was just a movie hoarder.  "Aw, man. No reality?  And here I was gonna put on your show. I think I'm behind a few episodes." He grinned to himself, only teasing him, before turning to cast a glance at Nick just in time to see him wipe chocolate onto his pants. He wasn't worried about him getting anything on his couch, because that'd clean up, but he didn't want him to have to leave here sticky because of all the ice cream. Leaning forward again, Jeff snatched a box of tissues he had laying around and pulled out a tissue, reaching it over to carefully place it on Nick's leg and setting the box next to him. "Sorry, I should'a brought napkins. I was too excited I guess."  He turned his attention back to the Netflix menu and hummed to himself as he weeded out the movies that had anything sad. "So I guess that leaves out Jurassic Park." He frowned in thought as he continued to look. "And definitely no Walking Dead. High School Musical is on here. We could watch Zefron in his most iconic role." That was mostly a joke, but he also wouldn't say no. "Oh, dude. Friends is on here. Let's do that?"

Nick: Nick chuckled when Jeff teased him about his show. "Bro, sometimes when I see myself on the show I get weirded out because like, that's me, y'know?" he said, laughing. He hadn't even seen the box of tissues but thanked Jeff anyways as he grabbed it and wiped it against the corner of his mouth to make sure he'd gotten all the chocolate off. He'd probably need to use another with the amount of ice cream he was eating, anyway. It hadn't occurred to him that it'd probably be best not to get his pants dirty but also he kind of didn't care because he knew he didn't have to care about his appearance when he was hanging out with Jeff. As Jeff scrolled through the selection, Nick looked up from the ice cream bowl to look along. "Bro, Zefron will never be able to top himself in the High School Musical trilogy. Like, there's just no way," he agreed before his friend landed on Friends. He pointed at the TV and gave a nod of his head. "Totes, Friends is like, one of the best sitcoms! I can't even think of a bad episode when it comes to Friends, man."

Jeff: "Oh, yeah, I feel that. I hate seeing myself on TV personally. It's so weird. I don't mind seeing you though 'cause you're funny. But I get it."  He almost wanted to reach over and help him wipe the chocolate off since it was getting everywhere, but he didn't think he was like, trying to be his Mom or something. Jeff was getting ice cream on the corners himself with every bite he took, and made sure to lick it off as he went, but he wasn't stressing too hard about the mess. The ice cream was too good to care. "He gives it a good effort, but I think you're right. Just like how Robert Pattinson will never outlive Edward Cullen. Man. Being an actor must be _tough. High School Musical is pretty iconic, though. I wonder if he's proud of being such a legend." Jeff stopped on Friends and opened it up. From where he last left off, it was somewhere in the middle of Season Six. But since Nick was here, he was going to take it all the way to the beginning. "Alright, man. Season 1, episode 1 it is. Can't think of anything better than that, honestly. People die in just about everything else."

Nick: "Well I do like making people laugh-- can't ever go wrong with that, right?" Nick said, attempting a smile even with his mouth full of ice cream and whipped cream. He was dripping more sticky ice cream and instinctively wiped his mouth with the back of his hand again before remembering Jeff had just given him a tissue and there were a box of tissues within reach. "Dammit," he grumbled as he wiped his hand on the tissue but it just clung to his sticky hand more than helped to clean anything up. As he struggled with the tissues and held his spoon in his other hand, he continued, "I think the Zefron probably knows that it was like, his big break, but prolly wants people to see that he's more than that too, y'know?" Nick couldn't help but think of how he wanted other people to see he was more than just some party boy who liked to drink. "Like, instead of just always singing he does all these weird movies like the one where he has a ghost brother or the one where he and Adam Devine go and get dates for a wedding. But man, he must like singing and dancing or else he wouldn't've done the Greatest Showman with Wolverine, yeah?" As the Friends gang came onto the screen and talked animatedly in the iconic Central Perk, Nick grinning while licking his chocolatey hand. "Bro, nothing gets better than Friends."(edited)

Jeff: "Right. That's a good thing, you know." Jeff quickly became distracted by Nick struggling to wipe the chocolate off his face and hands. It was hard to ignore, because seeing Nick struggle wasn't something that he could easily ignore (especially since the melting seemed to get progressively worse and Nick more frustrated.)  Still, he tried his best, instead continuing their conversation. "Yes! Poor Zefron. I think he's actually a pretty good actor. And he's musically talented. He's big now, but I'm surprised he's not bigger, you know?" Zefron the most underrated actor of their time.  "I agree, man. I could watch this over and over again and it's still good." As the Friends came into view, Jeff tried to distract himself by the familiar sight, but seeing Nick lick his hand out of the corner of his eye and undoubtedly not helping the situation caused him to reach his breaking point. Angling his body to the side to face him, Jeff resisted the urge to let his smile spread across his face, because he didn't want him to think he was making fun of him. "Nick...hold on. I need to do something, I'm sorry. I can't concentrate." Jeff took a fresh tissue from the box and wiped it on the side of the ice cream bowl, where clean condensation was forming on the side.  Reaching out, he gently grasped onto Nick's wrist with one hand while the other holding the tissue brought it down to sweep over Nick's palm and fingers. It wouldn't clean him up super well, but it'd at least get the ice cream and whipped cream bits off. He crumbled the tissue and grabbed another one, doing the same trick with the bowl before lifting it up to Nick's face, where he hesitated to invade his personal space to wipe the spots he missed on his face. "Can I get that too? Or you can, if you want, there's just a bunch of spots you missed."

Nick: As Nick listened to Jeff give his two cents on Zefron, he couldn't help but nod and agree. There were probably a lot of people in their own respective industries that didn't want to be put in this box of expectations or overlooked because they were stereotyped early on in their career. Just as he was about to respond, Jeff approached him with a clean tissue and helped to clean him off, which was greatly appreciated. Nick wasn't the messiest guy in the world but the amount of ice cream and chocolate smeared down his arm and across his face spoke otherwise. "Thanks, bro," he smiled, which faltered when he noticed Jeff hesitate. He shook his head and even leaned forward to give Jeff permission. "Nah, bro, I don't mind-- Get me good so my pretty mug isn't covered in stickiness," he chuckled as he bunched up the tissues in his hand to throw away. "Sorry I kinda made a mess; that ice cream was so good and I guess I got a little ahead of myself."

Jeff: Jeff laughed, relieved when Nick gave him the go ahead instead of slapping his hand away like he thought. “Okay, will do.” He nodded with a smile and leaned in. “I just don’t want you having to go home feeling gross and sticky, you know?” He went in with the tissue to wipe along the side of Nick’s face, the chocolate somehow finding place on his cheekbone. “Don’t even worry about it, dude. In a couple more bites I’ll probably have ice cream all over my face too. Then you’re gonna be the one cleaning me off. It’s just that good.” He reached his left hand out to grasp onto Nick’s chin to gently turn his face so he could reach the other side. “So... what’s new with you?” He said, jokingly, to break up the silence as he leaned in closer to see if he’d missed anything and wiped the corner of his mouth. Once he was finished he let the tissue fall between them next to their bowl and leaned back slightly, grinning at Nick proudly. “Wow, lookin’ good, dude. You’re good as new.” He glanced down at their forgotten bowl of ice cream between them and scooted back so he didn’t knock it over. “Okay lets get back to business and get ice cream all over ourselves again before it melts!”

Nick: Just like Nick had claimed, he didn't mind in the least bit when Jeff got well within his personal space to clean the ice cream and chocolate off of his face. He didn't feel embarrassed either; he knew Jeff wasn't the kind of person to make him feel insecure for his messy eating habits. Even when Jeff joked a little to break the silence, Nick still didn't feel any sort of discomfort and laughed it off-- he was at least aware of the close proximity. "Just chillin' with my best bro, man," he answered with a grin and was glad to see they were mirroring each other in facial expression. Once Jeff had finished cleaning him up, he moved his head from side to side as he rubbed his now-clean jawline, showing off his friend's handy work. "Definitely as good as new!" Nick exclaimed, still wearing a smile. When Jeff motioned to the ice cream, Nick picked up his spoon and this time made a conscious effort to remember a tissue in case he needed to wipe his mouth. He also knew that if need be, Jeff would have his back and help him out again, though.  "Dude, the great thing about ice cream is that even if it melts, then you got, like, ice cream soup and that's almost as amazing as a sundae, y'know?" He made his point by scooping a bit from the bottom where some of the ice cream had melted, a spoonful of different flavors and even some caramel balancing on his very full spoon. "And no risk of brain freeze!" He slurped it up and even licked the spoon to make sure he'd gotten it all.

Jeff: “Cool, cool. Same.” He nodded, still joking along so Nick didn’t feel awkward about Jeff’s hands being all over his face. Otherwise, all of Jeff’s hesitance had dissipated. That’s the thing about hanging out with Nick, though, Jeff was comfortable around him. Some of the people he was surrounded by on a day to day basis weren’t as easy going as Nick was. He had to watch what he said or did, which made him cautious from time to time. But then every time he hung out with Nick he was reminded that he didn’t have to worry around him, and that feeling was just awesome. And Nick always seemed comfortable with him, which made him feel good. He grinned again at his friend for the thousandth time that day, and picked up his spoon to dip into the bowl of slightly melty ice cream. “Dude...you’re a genius. Ice cream soup sounds amazing. I know what I’m eating next time I’m sick.” He stuck his spoon in his mouth, ice cream dribbling down the corner of his mouth now. He reached beside them to grab a tissue , noticing it was the last one and they were gonna have to stop being lazy and get napkins soon. But they’d cross that bridge when they came to it. Ice cream was no joke. It got everywhere.

Nick: "Totally, ice cream soup, gatorade, and like, skittles. 'Cause when you gotta pop all that medicine when you're sick, candy makes it even better, y'know?" Nick said, dipping his spoon back into the sundae. When his spoon scraped against the bottom he peered into the bowl and was astonished that it was already almost finished off. Though he supposed it also wasn't surprising since they could both put away food like no tomorrow. They still had the pizza that was left untouched; thankfully, Nick's stomach wasn't even close to being full. He shot straight up from the couch and practically bounced his way back to the kitchen to retrieve the pizza pie and grabbed some napkins while he was at it, knowing they'd need them. He made sure there was room on the living room table where the pizza could sit before taking a slice for himself and taking a bite. "Bro," Nick called to get Jeff's attention when he took his spoon and scooped a little bit of ice cream and placed it on the end of his slice. "Ever mix ice cream with pizza? It's like, hella weird but I swear it's also amazing because cheese and ice cream is the weirdest mix that shouldn't work but bro... holy shit." To demonstrate, he took a bite of the oily cheesy pizza topped with the bit of ice cream and let out a satisfied sound once he started chewing.

Jeff: "Gatorade I've done, but skittles? Never heard of that home remedy. Next time I get the plague I'll remember that." He glanced down into their bowl when Nick did, and was shocked to find out that they really put that all away. Jeff knew he was gonna be sick probably for the next few days, but right now it was so worth it. He sat up straight when Nick grabbed the pizza and brought it back to their spot. He turned to face Nick and the food and watched in fascination as Nick scooped ice cream directly onto his slice of pizza. "Nick, bro. You know I love you, and think you're a Master Chef. But that looks awful." He watched, perplexed, as Nick chewed it happily. "God, okay. I trust you." He grabbed a slice of pizza with one hand and hesitantly scooped a bit of their ice cream at the end. He looked from it to Nick and back again, before raising it up to his lips, looking at Nick cautiously all the while. As soon as he bit in it and chewed hesitantly, his eyes widened dramatically. "Oh. Dude. What the---?" He took another bite and chewed again. "Why... is this good?" He looked at his pizza oddly. "What ELSE would be good with Pizza?"

Nick: "I mean, I dunno that it actually helps with the actual cold but you can't ever go wrong with Skittles, know what I mean?" Nick clarified, thinking that maybe skittles on his pizza might even be amazing. He watched with expectant eyes as Jeff tried his weird little concoction of flavors and gave a little nod of encouragement when Jeff eyed him with hesitation. He loved that Jeff trusted him to try new and crazy things. Jeff's eyes widening in what Nick could only assume was the spiritual realization of the amazingness that was pizza and ice cream together had Nick absolutely beaming. "Yes! Bro, I knew you would love it!" he cheered before taking another bite of his pizza. Mid-chew, he answered Jeff's question. "Ranch dressing, but ranch tastes amazing with, like, everything. But, like, I don't think you could ever go wrong with anything on pizza. Except, like, I dunno-- pineapple." He swallowed and then scrunched his face up with disgust, shuddering at the very thought of fruit on his pizza.

Jeff: "I mean, they'd definitely help me feel better. Especially the sour ones." Jeff nodded along, before getting distracted by this new invention that is the ice-cream-pizza. Shamelessly, Jeff lifted up another spoonful of ice cream and dumped it on top of his remaining slice of pizza. "Ranch dressing is the best on pizza. We shoulda grabbed that too, but I'm happy with just this ice cream, honestly." He chewed his bite and swallowed before speaking again. "At the risk of ruining our friendship..." He began seriously. "I like pineapple pizza." He almost felt ashamed. "And anchovies. Not all on the same pizza, of course. I'm not a monster."

Nick: Nick stared at Jeff for a moment to be sure he was being serious about the pineapple pizza before shaking his head. "You're a brave soul, man. I dunno how you can take the fruit on a pizza and I wish that I had your taste buds because I wanna like it but... I just can't, man." He nudged his friend then, offering him a small smile. "You could like freakin' tangerines on your pizza and it wouldn't ruin our friendship, bro. And I like anchovies on my pizza, too, so next time we'll totes get some of that." He gave him a little wink before helping himself to another slice of pizza but not before spreading more ice cream on it before taking a bite. Once they were finished with all this food, Nick already knew there was going to be a huge crash where many naps would be needed while all his mental and physical energy went to focus on digesting all of this food.

Jeff: "It's okay, your taste buds can probably handle more things that I can. Like --- you always could take more shots than me." He smiled back and nudged him in return. "Anchovies, for sure. I say we skip those tangerines though. Not sure if I'd be a fan." He teased and smiled at the wink before helping Nick polish off the rest of the food. He could feel himself get more and more stuffed by the second, but he just kept going. When they were done, he let out a large sigh and fell back against the cushions of his couch. Friends was almost on episode 3 by this point, but he didn't think either of them had been paying much attention. "Okay... I think... I'm finally done." He yawned and threw an arm over his stomach as he rolled his head over to look at Nick. "You're not still hungry, are you? Cause I have more food. I just might not be able to get up and get it."

Nick: Nick had officially eaten too much. There was a tiny bit of cheese stuck to the pizza box that he was tempted to eat but his stomach protested and he let out a heavy sigh. At some point in his voracious eating, he had managed to slump back against the couch. Doing so made his tummy look bigger than it was he certainly felt very full. As Jeff yawned, almost on cue Nick had opened his mouth and let out a fierce yawn as well. "I want more food... but, I dunno if I can..." Nick replied sluggishly. His eyelids felt heavy and a food coma was inevitable at this point. "Sleepy," he murmured, looking away from the empty food receptacles and back to Jeff. "I don't think I can move either so you're good, bro." He blinked slowly, eventually closing his eyes completely as he attempted to focus his energy to making himself not feel sleepy-- not seeing the lack of logic in that path of thinking.

Jeff: Seeing Nick yawn made him want to yawn again, and he could tell right away that this was going to be a vicious cycle. "I know, I feel you on that." He reached over to pat his leg lazily before dropping his hand to the couch, trying to fight another yawn. "Y'can sleep if you want." He rested his head on the back of the couch, but rolled it to the side again to peer at Nick, who already had his eyes closed. Mustering some energy, he lifted their empty trash and tossed it on the table in front of them before collapsing back on the couch beside Nick. "I can move if you wanna stretch out. Then... you can eat more when you wake up." Even if he knew they'd probably be full for like eight years after this.

Nick: Nick barely found the strength to peek open through one eye to acknowledge Jeff and his suggestion. "Nah, bro, you're good," he replied in a voice slightly lower than usual, slow and sluggish. "Dessert... After sleep." He honestly felt like he could fall asleep just like this-- the cushions hadn't felt nearly this comfortable when he first sat down and now it felt like a cozy cloud. Closing his eyes again, it didn't much more to coax him into a heavy sleep.

Jeff: "Good. Don't wanna move anyway." He replied with a sleepy sort of laugh and slid down further against the cushions, reclining by lifting his legs to lay on a free spot on the table. Closing his eyes, he sank lower as he became more relaxed, and his head fell to the side to knock against and use Nick's upper arm as a convenient pillow. It didn't take long until he was fast asleep; not even the laugh track on the TV was going to wake him up anytime soon.

Nick: Nick was off to dreamland and remained that way for quite some time. The next time he opened his eyes, the first thing he noticed was the TV, Friends had stopped playing and Netflix was prompting them to continue watching if they were still there. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, it took him another moment to realize that something heavy was on top of him and he couldn't move. "... Jeff? Bro?" He whispered, unsure if he should even wake his friend up. His arm had somehow slung its way atop of Jeff during his sleep so he carefully moved it as he shifted slightly where he sat.

Jeff: Jeff was one hundred percent passed out and dead to the world. As he was slightly jostled and his name was whispered, he stirred slightly, but otherwise stayed asleep. He further buried his head into the surface his head was laying on, and he tightened his hold around whatever his arms had thrown themselves on. It wasn't until the faint smell of chocolate hit his nose and the fact that his subconscious realized he didn't use a realistically heated body pillow that he woke himself up. "Huh? What?" He lifted his head up, and squinted at Nick until his sleep addled brain realized what had happened. "Oh. Oh." He released him as fast as his sluggish limbs could and sat up straight, immediately scooching to his side of the couch to allow Nick his personal space. He knew Nick probably wouldn't be mad about it, but the fact that Jeff let himself pass out directly on top of someone without like, asking first, was a little embarrassing. "Sorry. Fell asleep." He offered him a small sheepish grin, stating the obvious, before he yawned. "Uh. About how long were we out for? It's probably late, you're probably wanting to get home, and I'm over here suffocating you."

Nick: As Jeff slowly awoke from his slumber and their eyes met, Nick chuckled and grinned at him. It was a funny situation they'd found themselves in and Nick certainly didn't mind a comfortable nap with a friend. When Jeff sat up and scooted back, Nick shifted and straightened up as well. "It's no prob, man," he rubbed his eyes again before stretching his arms and cricking his neck a bit. "Dude, I don't even know how long we were out but that was like, the best nap I've had in a really really long time." He dug his phone out to read the time but instead his Twitter notifications got him distracted. "Oh, bro! We got loads of hits and comments on that pic of our epic ice cream sundae!" He laughed and turned his phone towards Jeff to show him. "We totally have to do this again-- soon-- and honestly? I wouldn't decline another nap because it was pretty awesome."

Jeff: Jeff couldn't help a small grin himself. It was kind of funny, usually people only fell asleep on each other in movies. They had eaten their weight and then some in junk food, though, so that probably helped conk them out moreso than usual. Despite the slight stiffness in his own neck, Jeff had to admit, the nap had been pretty awesome. "I won't lie to you... I didn't hate it." He nodded, trying to be serious, although the smile was cracking through. Obviously he didn't hate it since he practically tried to bear hug Nick in his sleep. As Nick pulled out his phone, Jeff thought he should probably do the same to check what he missed when dead to the world, but quickly got distracted by Nick's exclamation. "Really?" He leaned forward, excited to see just how many people commented on their creation. "Wow." He raised both his eyebrows. "They like it as much as we did and they didn't even get to eat it." He commented, idly wondering how he could do an ice cream giveaway to them before realizing that wouldn't be very easy to pull off with melting and whatnot. "I'm in. Maybe with slightly less food, but I won't say no to another Niff day." He paused. "Or a nap. But, uh ---" He reached over and swiped his hand along Nick's sleeve apologetically. "I'll try not 

Nick: "Yo, how 'bout-- 'Hashtag: Niff Naps'? Catchy, right?" Nick said jokingly with a teasing nudge. He put his phone back in his pocket, a smile still on his face at how much the picture of their sundae had apparently taken off on the internet. Even though Nick had quite the following because of his TV show, none of his other content gathered that much buzz. Convinced it was because he had tagged Jeff in his post, it was clear to him that public demanded more Niff for the future. "Dude, next time we go on an ice cream binge we have to, like, make a whole YouTube video of it or something, y'know?" When Jeff reached to wipe whatever saliva that Nick hadn't even noticed was on his sleeve, he chuckled. He stood up from the couch, stretching a bit more before letting out a little sigh. Nick didn't like goodbyes because that meant parting ways but he also knew this wouldn't be the last time he'd see Jeff and they already made many promises to hang out again-- hopefully soon.  "Alright, dude, sad to say I gotta go but I can't stay here forever; I'll eat all your food and then you'll starve and I can't have that."

Jeff: "Maybe. We'll come up with names for it next time." He joked back easily as Nick nudged him, feeling at ease with him. It never ceased to amaze him that him and Nick had their own fanbase. Maybe that's when you know you've really made it; your fans are more obsessed with you and your friends than they are your actual profession. Jeff wasn't mad about it, though, he liked that peopled liked them because he liked them too. "Definitely. Our very own Niff Mukbang." He laughed, before slowly standing up along with Nick, feeling the slight ache in his neck again from the position he fell asleep in. "Alright, man. Hate to see you go, but I probably don't have that much food. Come back once I get myself to go grocery shopping." He joked before stepping towards him and grappling him into a big hug. He clapped him on the back and stepped away, heading towards his front door so he could let him out. "We'll do this again soon, alright? Next time we'll document it more so the fans feel more included."

Nick: Nick looked puzzled, unaware of what Jeff had just said. "Huh? 'Mukbang'?" he repeated with his brows scrunched in confusion. He wasn't aware of the Korean video trend and it went over his head completely. Though, whatever it was he was sure it was, it'd probably be delicious or really fun. Or both. When Jeff pulled him into a hug, Nick immediately hugged back with equal enthusiasm and vigor. Jeff was his absolute best friend and conveying so in a hug was one of the best ways ever. "We are definitely gonna do this again, man. And soon, too."

Jeff: Jeff looked at his best friend in excitement when he seemed unaware of what he was talking about. “Oh, man, I’ve got to show you next time we hang out. It’s people who sit and eat a ton of food for views! You’re going to love it.” He nodded enthusiastically, before calming down as he said goodbye. He didn’t think twice about hugging Nick, he was practically his favorite person and he wanted him to know that. “Yeah we will! I’ll text you later, probably when I scroll past all the Twitter comments and find the good ones.” He smiles and stepped back as Nick left. “Careful on your way home, okay? Don’t want you falling asleep at the wheel ‘cause you’re still in a food coma.”

Nick: The whole mukbang thing sounded intriguing and Nick would have to remember to have Jeff show it to him the next time they hung out. He’d try anything once, honestly. “Totally, dude. I’m cool to drive and you know I got like, hella good judgement,” Nick assuaged his friend’s worries, waving at him one last time before finally departing. “Til next time, bro!”

[roryshudson]

explore galaxies.

tagging rory hudson ft. carole hudson

time frame april 18th, 2018, during school

location school

warnings anxiety, panic attacks, death mention, general stress.  just a dramatic self para bc i wanted to give rory A Day

Best.

It was a word that Rory knew too well. From an early age he'd heard it, over and over, as a description for his parents, and as a definition for what he needed to be when he grew up. His mother was well-known, and his father had his own business, both successful in their own right, and with their passing came that weighing pressure on his shoulders to make them proud: do them justice. Go above and beyond, until there was nothing left to give.

So, Rory had to be the best. At everything. 

He worked well in distractions. He kept his thoughts off of whatever upset him through music, cleaning, socializing: whatever helped him stay on top, that was the priority. Rory needed to have perfect attendance, perfect grades, and all the after-school activities to make him well-prepared, and to look good for colleges. On top of all that, he needed to have a good social life, friends and friends of friends that he could use when it best suited him. He needed a good reputation, the best awards... for him, things never really stopped, but he never thought of that as a bad thing. 

Rory had never been a natural at much. He pushed himself to keep doing things until he climbed to the top, brewing an almost toxic obsession with whatever it was until he was satisfied that he had it all down. It was easier for him to force himself through everything than to focus on the exhaustion that often overwhelmed him, something he wasn't comfortable to admit to anyone, nonetheless admit to himself.

A lot had been happening, lately. He had his after-school duties, the musical, and he was obsessing over Prom and getting a superlative more than it was coming across. He was happy to get a good role for the musical, however, and while it was a relief, the rehearsals were an added time slot that Rory was trying his best to maintain while constantly worrying about Quinn, and her pregnancy, and... now dating her. Something he was terrified of messing up. Along with that, his and Brandon’s dislike had advanced into planning an actual fight. All those things had been taking up most of his thoughts, and making it even harder to focus in class.

Still, it felt sudden. He was sitting at the desk, scribbling down his notes when he felt the tight pull in his chest. It was something he shrugged off, initially, not thinking too much about the wave of pain until it came again - it came in stronger, and it didn't fade away. His breathing wavered as he blinked up at the front of the class, his head feeling light, but it only rose more concern. Health had never been a worry, for him. He did his best to stay active, but the feeling made him think one thing: a heart attack. 

It hurt to breathe, and when he closed his eyes, all he could see were his parents. That was the worst of all, for Rory, mixing the aching pains in his chest with them, but they didn't look happy - they looked angry. Why were they angry with him? Wasn't he doing exactly what they wanted out of him? Though, maybe it wasn't enough. Maybe it wouldn't ever be enough. His breathing hitched again, and it was only then that he realized the hand on his shoulder, jerking in surprise as he looked up into the eyes of his concerned teacher. He didn't want to speak - his mouth wouldn't move, it felt too hard, so being asked if he was okay was met with silence and an annoyed look. She was too loud, though that wasn't the first time Rory had felt annoyed by her nagging voice, it was a different sort of annoyance, and he was quick to jerk away from her touch. 

After a moment, he realized he was being told to go to the nurse, and he couldn't even argue. He felt like he could collapse at any moment, the overwhelming aching pain in him convincing him that, without a doubt, he wouldn't even make it to the nurse. He got up, took a few steps, and felt a hand on his arm, which he jerked away from. Glaring at the.... well, they weren't a stranger. Rory was dreadfully bad at names, specifically those he didn't feel they were important enough to remember, but they clearly knew who he was, as they tried to ramble on to him and it all went over his head. He had to block it out, he had to focus on not dying in the halls of McKinley. That was one of the lamest places to die, and Rory wasn't having it. 

He was soon sitting in the nurse's office, cringing as she tried to ask him questions. He just wanted to get out. He needed space, and some sort of knowledge on what the hell was going on without needing to tell anyone. He kept seeing his parents, or words of disapproval every time he tried to shake it all away, and when he opened his eyes, it took him a moment to focus on the new faces staring at him, Rory frowning as he tried to get a hold of himself. Was he having a mental break? He didn't think he'd been stressing himself out that much, though with everything combined, it didn't seem as overwhelming when he'd been doing it so consistently. 

Soon he was being instructed to take deep breaths and focus on something in the room, and reluctantly, Rory did as he was told, focusing on the crack between two tiles on the floor as he took deep breaths. He thought it was ridiculous, but he did as he was told, until he was spaced out and the aching of his chest slowly faded back.

It was then that he laid down, and he was left staring at the ceiling, again, and blocking out every noise he heard. His breathing felt loud, but he preferred that more to hearing anyone else speak to him. He had no idea how long he laid spaced out, until the nurse finally cleared his throat, and Rory slowly turned his head to look at her. "... so, this isn't the, uh - the after life, is it?" Rory felt uncomfortable, after it was all said and done, having always been the one to try and lighten any bad situation, but he'd been too out of it to try. There was a quiet pause, before she shook her head. 

"Have you ever had a panic attack before, or is this your first?" Rory blinked in surprise. Panic attack? Why would he be having one of those? Specifically, in the middle of class, with nothing to panic over, in his opinion. Rory let out a breath. "No, I haven't. Is that all this was? Because, wow, was that dramatic, and... I love my drama, but I really should be getting back to class-" His voice cut off as her hand landed on his chest, stopping him from sitting up, and Rory fell back onto the bed with a huff.

"I'm going to give a call to your... guardian. Aunt? Carole, is that right?" Rory let out a scoff in disbelief. Was that necessary? He definitely didn't think so, and that was obvious in the way he instinctively shook his head. "Carole Hudson is a very busy woman. She doesn't need to deal with a phone call about me having chest pains that have since gone away, and I’m feeling grand. Good as ever. It's no biggie, ma'am, just let me..." 

And she was walking away, ignoring him and leaving Rory to childishly groan, covering his face in his frustration. Rory worked hard to try and remain a child that lived in her home, but left nothing to concern herself with. He worked hard to not burden her as much as he possibly could, and now she was being bothered to discuss something that Rory, essentially, felt was silly. Apparently, Carole didn't feel the same because it wasn't long until she was there, in front of him, cupping his face as he looked down at her. "I'm fine, Carole," he casually muttered at the look of concern in her eyes. He hated it. He didn't want her to look at him like that, and he quickly found himself trying to avoid her gaze.

There was some grumbling as he was checked out, and really, though it should've been a relief, it stressed Rory out more, knowing he was probably missing something important while he sat in silence with Carole in the car, his arms crossed over his chest, his body slumped down in the seat. The radio was the only comfort that kept him from speaking, and soon enough, she was turning it down.

"I worry about you."

Rory's jaw clenched. "What is there to worry about? I'm doing swell. Actually, I’ve probably never been better. One small thing doesn't change that I'm doing -"

"This isn't one small thing, Rory, and you know that. I know you're a smart boy. I know you know that this isn't something to be forgotten, even if you want it to be. I know you're doing your best-" The cringe that pulled onto Rory's face was clearly caught by Carole's side-eye, in the way she paused, peering over at him. "... and I'm proud of you. I'm sure your - your parents would be, and, hey - don't do that," she cut off, smacking his hand away from the stereo as he attempted to turn it up, the bass booming for nearly a second before there was silence once more. "I'm talking to you, and if you start being disrespectful, I'll... I'll ground you." It was clear Rory had never actually earned any kind of punishment, and he was side-eyeing her, ready to poke fun before he remembered that that grounding could potentially include prom, and snapped his mouth shut again. 

"What I'm trying to say is that you can talk to me. We're family," she reminded, "and if you're feeling something, you can talk to me about it." Rory tried not to roll his eyes, knowing that bringing any sort of attitude would not go in his favor. He didn't want to talk about it. Rory always felt that recognizing the issue meant making it real. He didn't want it to be real that he was stressing himself out too much. 

"If all of you were trying to help, I wouldn't have been sent home early. I'm probably missing vital test info right this very second. I'm fine. I feel great right now, except for the fact that I'm missing everything. Not very responsible of me. What if this ruins the rest of my school year? I'll fail, and that's something to really panic about," he rushed out, his tone jumping back into the joking tune that he naturally kept, though it sounded a bit more forced than usual.  Of course, that had earned him a slap against his shoulder with the back of Carole's hand. It wasn't much, and only affected Rory from the shock of it all. "Hey!" 

"You're gonna go home, and you're getting into bed, and... I'm keeping all activities away from you... and if this keeps happening, you’re gonna have to drop some of your after school activities. Alright?" 

There was a long, dramatic sigh, and Rory had an argument. He always had an argument, of course, but for one rare moment, he didn't try. He just nodded his head. "Fine."

[itsmajel]

Majel Reads - October 2017

[What is this?]

Supernatural - Destiel

Purgatory's Angel by Ltleflrt                

In an act of heroism Castiel sacrifices one of his wings to save lives. But he isn’t sure he wants to live tethered to the ground, never to dance in the sky again.  Two stubborn Winchester brothers have faith that his future isn’t quite so grim, and that flight may be possible someday.  Castiel thinks they’re full of shit, but in the face of Dean’s cheerful optimism it’s hard not to believe.

[Explicit] [ 26,779 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Good One's Gonna Be by remmyme                

Castiel Novak receives a rather alarming text message from an unknown number, and what started as a simple misdial quickly turns into the greatest friendship Castiel has ever known. But Dean has many secrets, dangerous truths about the life he lives, and would like to tell Castiel exactly none of them.

[Explicit] [ 37,130 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

somewhere I have never travelled by museaway                    

Driving home from work at his family's shop, Dean is hit by a man driving a Prius. Though Castiel is initially rude, he offers dinner as part of his apology, and Dean is drawn to him the more they talk. Since Castiel is raw from a divorce with a teenage daughter, Dean doesn’t expect the relationship to go anywhere and is surprised when Castiel quickly becomes a fixture in his life. But while Castiel seems eager to build a life with him, Dean is hung up on his past and family obligations.

[Mature] [ 53,375 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Andrew Lloyd Webber Gets a Pass by delicirony (deliciousirony), opal_bullets

In which Castiel's manner is vague and aloof, Dean Winchester doesn't care for a cuddle, and there's no doing anything about it.

Or, Dean and Castiel attempt to survive rehearsals for a new production of Cats, and each other.

[Explicit] [ 37,597 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

nothing else matters by  xylodemon

"You say goodbye."

deancas codas: season thirteen

[Not Rated] [ 1,210 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

take that history by vaudelin

“How did you meet my father?” the kid asks him, over breakfast, while he’s pouring milk over Cheerios in tiny spoonfuls.

“In Hell,” Dean grits, like a warning. Let it be enough.

[General Audiences] [ 1,200 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

we are nowhere (and it's now) by xylodemon

Dean dreams about smoke billowing up toward a dark, starless sky. deancas codas: season thirteen

[Teen And Up Audiences] [ 3,248 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Captain America / Marvel CMU - Stucky

Not To Win But To Take Part by MarcellaBianca

Vignettes in the life of Olympic silver medalist, World Champion, and figure skating coach James Buchanan Barnes, from 1992 to 2018.

[Mature] [ 5,790 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Citius, Altius, Fortius (Faster, Higher, Stronger) by MarcellaBianca *re-read

Steve Rogers. James Barnes.

One, an NHL star with dreams of finally capturing an Olympic gold medal. The other, a former World champion and Olympic silver medalist, now a current coach and choreographer for the top flight figure skaters in the Russian Federation.

But before all of that..they were Steve and Bucky.

[Mature] [ 50,623 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

That Would Be Enough by MarcellaBianca                

Bucky Barnes, a Columbia University graduate with a Masters Degree in Education, is in his fourth year of teaching AP US History at Shield Academy, a private school in the very heart of the Connecticut valley in the bucolic town of Barkstead. He also helps run the Russian Club with his colleague and best friend, Natasha Romanov. He’s got amazing friends, three nephews he adores, and a beautiful little apartment. The only thing Bucky would change about his life? His luck in love. It’s been two years since Bucky ended an emotionally abusive relationship and he’s just now starting to feel that his heart has healed enough to try dating again. Then, a new Art History and English teacher arrives with tattoos he doesn’t like talking about, a body like a Greek god, and some secrets of his own, and Bucky knows he’s done for. Cue pining, sass, and a ton of Hamilton references.

CW: Eating disorders, references to emotional and psychological abuse, and attempted dub-con sex.

[Explicit] [ 59,797 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Happy Accidents by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves)

Bucky's still in cryo. Steve is in New York, angry and unsettled. And then Trump takes a photo in front of a Captain America mural like Steve has ever supported anything he says or does. So Steve enlists Pepper to throw a costume gala for LGBTQIA causes, and to celebrate his coming out.

It's a terrible idea, especially when a bunch of people come dressed as Bucky.

But then Steve meets a tall dark stranger...

  nb: the Trump content of this fic is essentially zero other than as an inciting incident in the first couple paras.

[Explicit] [ 29,777 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Alphabet Verse by thesardine

Summary verse: At a pivotal point in his recovery, Bucky is abducted and forced to act as the Winter Soldier for a SHIELD that is spiraling into the dark side.  This won't stop him from pursuing his goal: in the year 2016, times finally being what they are, Bucky has a very important question he wants to ask Steve...

Summary first part: There wasn’t anything left to salvage. That’s what Fury believed. It would have been a kindness to put him down.

When SHIELD finally releases Bucky from custody, he is not the man anyone expects him to be. Steve struggles to reconcile the stranger with the man who was once his best friend, but with Hydra regrouping after the events at Triskelion, Steve is dragged back into battle when Bucky needs him the most. Meanwhile, Hydra is itching to have its prize weapon back under their control, and a devastating betrayal pits Bucky against a terrible piece of ex-SHIELD tech that threatens to destroy everything he's struggled to rebuild. In order to survive, he must decide who he is going to be: the vulnerable Bucky Barnes or the indomitable Winter Soldier? It turns out there might not be as big a difference as everyone seems to think.

[Teen And Up Audiences] [ 99,778 Words] [4 Works] [Read on AO3 here]

Reflex Memories by sariane

Bucky Barnes never remembers who he is.

That doesn’t stop him from falling in love with Steve Rogers.

[Mature] [ 34,174 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Talking Pictures by sariane

Steve and Bucky go to the movies (together)

[General Audiences] [ 823 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Blank Slate by sariane

When Steve looks up at him, his eyes are slow to focus on Bucky. Steve sends him a blank look.

“Who’s Steve?” he asks.

Bucky’s heart sinks.

[General Audiences] [ 4,991 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

your homecoming will be my homecoming by lupinely

This is what Bucky thinks he remembers. Writing a letter to Steve in the trenches, muddy footprints, impressions of army boots on the ground. So cold his fingers ache. He’s writing the letter but it doesn’t make sense. He’s writing the letter but he wants to go home. It’ll make sense then, he thinks—it’ll make sense when they both come home.

[Steve/Bucky, post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier]

[Mature] [ 18,972 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Lamb and Martyr by Dira Sudis (dsudis) *Re-Read

"You could, though," Steve said. "If you were willing to hurt me.

[Explicit] [ 39,589 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Ring the Bell Backward by Dira Sudis (dsudis), pium_poetam

"I know how it is," Wanda said. "Being half of something. I would go anywhere if I knew he was there waiting for me."

[Teen And Up Audiences ] [13,234 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Come To Morning by emilyenrose

He figured it was natural, kind of—well, not natural, but he and Steve spent a lot of time together, and Steve didn’t get so much attention from girls, which was a crying shame because he was a good guy and a girl could do a lot worse. But it meant maybe Steve got a bit confused, because sometimes he would look at Bucky with this look. This bright, astonished look, like he was seeing something so good he couldn’t quite believe it was real. It made Bucky squirm inside, a little.

[Teen And Up Audiences ] [ 4,707 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Winter Comfort by greenbergsays

Thing is, peace of mind has been hard to come by since his programming had been destroyed.

Hell, if he's being truthful, peace of mind has been hard to come by since the Stark Expo of '43. Maybe even before then.

But the crafts? They help. More than he ever could’ve imagined, they help.

--

Also known as the fic where Bucky Barnes uses arts & crafts as a recovery tool and ends up teaching himself how to knit. Much to Steve's surprise.

[Teen And Up Audiences ] [ 2,578 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

to feel for the first time by lord_is_it_mine

I love him, Bucky thinks. I'll burn for it one way or another, but I love him.

The thought blooms inside him, attaches itself to the base of his heart and tethers him to Steve's side. He tries to remember a time when he didn't feel like this. He can't. That's it. This feeling isn't new. But the admission to himself in the simplest of terms- that's new. And it hasn't hit him yet, just how difficult it's going to be, to love someone you can never have, because he has Steve for now, at least in every way he's allowed to have him.

He has to believe that it'll be enough.

((five firsts Bucky got and one he thought he'd never have))

[Teen And Up Audiences ] [ 5,980 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Schrödinger's Romance by The_StonedSoldier

"It could be a relationship, it could not be. You can assume either until you see for sure the results."

We all know those moments. Those moments when your family all gathers around you and asks "So, do you have a boyfriend yet?". Bucky knows these moments all too well and, quite frankly, he's sick to death of them. Unfortunately, being a 21 year old college student makes it harder for him to come up with excuses, and with Christmas coming up he needs to think of a way out fast. A chance encounter with a stranger through an old library textbook could just be the kind of miracle he needs to make it through the holidays with his last shreds of sanity intact.

[Mature] [ 196,220 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Aim Towards The Sky by littleblackfox

Steve gets to his feet, taking the two steps to the container. He lifts the latches and pops the seal. Luis unholsters his second favourite gun and points it at the crate with a nervous whine. “Steve, what the hell are you doing?” Natasha hisses. Steve glances at her. “Lets see what we’ve got.”

[Mature] [ 57,709 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Take Apart Your Bones and Put 'em Back Together by die_traumerei

It seems so simple: Bucky is captured by SHIELD and brought to a facility in upstate New York.

Of course, it isn't. No one knows who is going to wake up in that bed, and what that will eventually mean for Steve Rogers, SHIELD, the Avengers, or Bucky himself.

A story about a man putting himself back together despite what everyone expects of him. A story about Steve finding a measure of peace, a story about a broken-up institution. A story about three women who made a magical place where not just Bucky can heal.

A story featuring a load of OC's, BAMF Bucky Barnes, an older but not particularly wiser Steve Rogers, fallible Sam Wilson who is no less perfect for that, and, eventually, two nonagenarians gettin' it on in a world they pretty well transformed, between the two of them.

[Explicit] [ 63,467 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

Shadowhunters - Malec

Bits of canon Malec by lemonoclefox

A bunch of unrelated canon drabbles

[Mature ] [ 17,958 Words] [16 works] [Read on AO3 here]

So Bright by lemonoclefox

"You want me," Magnus says, "to pretend to be your boyfriend." He sounds wholly unimpressed, and Alec has a moment of panic when he hears it out loud. "Yes," he says. "Temporarily." "You want me to fake date you," Magnus says flatly. It's not even a question, but more a way of really driving the point home about how dumb the idea is. "Pretty much.". Magnus narrows his eyes. "You do realize that this never works out well in movies, right?" he says. "Ever." Alec feels a distinct sense of embarrassment creep up now. "Look, I―" "Ever."

-

Alec has come out, but that doesn't stop his parents from their continuous attempts to set him up with a nice shadowhunter girl. So, what better way to finally get them off his back, than to say he has a boyfriend? Problem solved. Except they now apparently want to meet this guy, who doesn't exist. Thankfully, Magnus Bane -- who encouraged Alec to come out in the first place, and whose silent crush on Alec is just as bad as Alec's crush on him -- is more than happy to help. Even if the night doesn't end up going entirely as planned.

[General Audiences] [ 17,504 Words] [Read on AO3 here]

- - - - - - - - - -

(All summaries are the official summaries of the author. Stats and infos as according to hosting site or information given by the author)

Looking for more reading inspiration? Check out my fic rec tag here on tumblr, my reading list masterpost or just check out my AO3 bookmarks.

[avengerofiron]

blaze of glory || self para

summary: after mj finally gets sick of fielding phone calls from tony’s persistent cardiologist, he surrenders and attends an appointment with one of the man’s colleagues on the basis of gaining a second opinion. what tony hears when he gets there, however, will change his life forever. when: early 2019 trigger warnings: death mentions, hospitals, cancer

One thing was for damn sure – Tony Stark really hated hospitals. The (quite frankly uncreative) colour scheme, the weird, unexplainable smells that wafted their way down the corridors, how everyone you spoke to that wasn’t in scrubs furrowed their eyebrows at you, trying to work out what brought you to that place, what made you worthy of sympathy. Meeting the good Dr. Sidhu was no exception to this, though Tony knew there was only so many times he would call before MJ absolutely lost her mind and demanded that Tony attend the outpatient appointment before she took away his Friday night pizza privileges. In all fairness, she had lasted longer than he expected her to. Thirty-six missed calls was impressive, especially considering Tony had only ignored twelve of them personally. Either way, when he finally did pick up, and only at the behest of his long suffering assistant, Tony was surprised to find that Dr. Sidhu was fielding him off to one of his colleagues at Metro General. Surprised, but not particularly shocked. Tony didn’t do well with doctors – Yinsen was the only exception, and he ended up bleeding out in a cave in Afghanistan. Happy endings weren’t all that common, contrary to popular belief.

Dr. Sara Whisler had a good name according to Sidhu, but of course that was a prerequisite for a fancy office on the administration end of the hospital (still the same smell though. Yeesh. Tony put figuring out a solution for that on his extensive to-do list. He was sure the nurses would appreciate it). She stepped out of her office just on time, a tight smile on her face, and held her hand out for a shake. Tony accepted it, giving her a grin. “You have no idea how lucky you are that I showed up,” he informed her. “Usually it takes my girlfriend dragging me here kicking and screaming. Consider yourself something special.”

“I already do, Mr. Stark,” she replied, and oh, Tony liked her. Just the right amount of dry wit and overconfidence, and the type of person that would argue it was competence instead. “Please, come in. Take a seat.”

Tony obliged, and Dr. Whisler closed the door behind them. “Did Dr. Sidhu tell you much about why he referred you to me, Mr. Stark?”

“Tony. Mr. Stark is my father, or the businessman. I eagerly avoid being either.”

Her smile only grew tighter. “Of course, Tony.”

“He only said it was for a second opinion. I can guess, though. I’m not the easiest patient to work with.” His knuckles rapped against the arc reactor, a wry smirk on his face. Dr. Whisler’s didn’t reach her eyes, though, and it faded off her face as she moved a file across her desk towards her.

“I am not a cardiologist, Tony. I am a surgeon. Dr. Sidhu has plenty of opinions of his own, in his field.” She took a breath, but didn’t open the file. Tony narrowed his eyes, looking at her for a long moment.

“This isn’t about the arc, is it?” Tony asked. Whisler pursed her lips, shaking her head. “So what is it about? The migraines? Look, I’m a busy-”

“I know you are, Mr. Stark.”

“Tony. All I need is some stronger painkillers, and I can be out of your hair. I get knocked around a lot, I know I can’t expect to be pain free.”

Dr. Whisler’s lips tightened. “Dr. Sidhu ran a variety of scans during your last appointment.”

“Yeah, he was taking advantage of the honour,” Tony deadpanned.

“Tony,” Whisler said, linking her fingers together on the desk. “There was an abnormal area on your MRI.”

“Decreased blood flow because of the arc,” he replied. “Sidhu knows that.”

“No. No, Tony, I’m afraid it was something else.”

It all started to come together in that moment. The closed door, the file in front of her, the endless phone calls, the tight smile on greeting. Tony could feel the reactor whirring in his chest, turning over a thousand and one times, and then back on itself again. “What is it?” he asked, all in one breath, keeping his eyes firmly on the doctor.

“We will need to run a biopsy, but diagnostic criteria has been met to inform-”

“Busy man, remember?”

“You have developed a primary brain tumour, Tony.”

Tony blinked a few times, shifted in his seat. “Okay,” he said. “Get Dr. Cho on the phone, get her to hack it out, we can be done with it.”

“I’m afraid it’s not that simple.” Now, she opened the file. Tony looked around the room, but it was all just the same white. “It is a glioblastoma multiforme, suspected grade 4. I presume that it has been present for quite some time and has been asymptomatic until recently. Operating would be extremely dangerous.”

“You realise I’m a superhero, right? Dangerous is my trade.”

Dr. Whisler’s tight smile broke, and she looked at him with hard eyes. “It would kill you, Mr. Stark. I am not prepared to put you through a surgery you would not come out of.”

Brain tumour. Inoperable. Been there for some time. Tony wasn’t an idiot, far from it. He knew how it sounded, but he also knew he had faced worse odds before. The reactor might have been having a fit in his chest, but he felt surprisingly calm.

“There are options, of course, to slow the growth. Radiotherapy, followed by several courses of chemotherapy. We would typically use fractionated radiotherapy, but given your unique situation,” her gaze went to the arc, glowing under Tony’s shirt, “I think we are better using focused beams which are-”

“Less effective,” Tony supplemented. “Yeah, I know. Physicist.”

Dr. Whisler fell silent. Tony didn’t even realise she did, not for a long time. When she spoke again, at least five minutes later, the noise felt like an intrusion.

“What questions do you have, Tony?”

There was only one question Tony could think of that mattered, only one question that he knew the people he cared about would ask him when they heard. “Prognosis,” he muttered, barely loud enough to hear himself, but the good doctor would have been expecting it. At least, that’s what he assumed, because she pursed her lips, tapped her fingers against the desk.

“GBM is very difficult to treat, even in a supposedly ‘standard’ patient. Typically, it is twelve to eighteen months from diagnosis. In your case … I’m sorry to say that a year would be optimistic.”

And that – that was what hit him like a tonne of bricks. Dr. Whisler started to speak again, started to tell him about the progression of symptoms from nausea, vomiting, headaches, potential seizures, discussed support groups and helplines for him to phone on the weekends, potential chemotherapy drugs and clinical trials that could prove helpful but had their risks in a patient like him, but it felt as if her words were washing over him, pulling him under, leaving him gasping for breath at every moment.

Eventually, Tony pushed himself up from the chair. Dr. Whisler stopped talking abruptly, standing up when he did. “Tony,” she said, but she didn’t get any further.

“Look, I appreciate what you’re doing here,” Tony said, gesturing with his hand to her office, to the file on her desk, to the awards on her shelf. “You seem like a great doctor, but me and medicine, we don’t really get along. You go poking around in here,” he tapped the side of his head with his finger, “you mess up what I have going on, and I need this brain, yeah? Tumour or no tumour.”

“Tony, I don’t think you’re grasping the-”

“No,” Tony said, holding up his hand. “Let’s not do that.” He turned to the door, stopping only to meet the doctor’s eye one more time. “I’ll come back next week. My assistant will set it up, promise. She’s very good at getting me to do things I don’t want to do. I just … I have a lot to do today, Doc.”

Surprisingly, a small smile came onto Dr. Whisler’s face. “You are Tony Stark,” she replied. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

Tony nodded, opening the door to her office, feeling the spark off the metal handle in the arc reactor.

“I’ll see you next week,” Dr. Whisler said. “Do me a favour, Tony.”

Tony turned to her, raising an eyebrow, feeling like if he didn’t get out of this office in less than two minutes, he was going to lose his goddamn mind.

“Don’t drink yourself to death before the tumour gets a chance.”

Tony let out a dry laugh at that, shaking his head. “You’re a real piece of work, Doc,” he said. “See you next week.”

He managed to get to the lobby, passing by seas of blank faces, masses of jumbled conversations. He managed to get back into the car, put the key in the right way the first time round, even get himself back to the lower parking levels of the Tower without crashing into a tree, or flipping off another driver, or wanting to hit his head against the steering wheel. It was only when Tony walked into his workshop, dropped his keys on the workbench and looked around at the unfinished projects on the walls around him that he felt himself fall to the ground, his knees bloody against the polished concrete.

“It’s alright, boss,” FRIDAY’s voice came through the loudspeakers. Dum-E rolled forward, pressing his claw into Tony’s shoulder, clicking as he moved. “We’ll get through this.”

Tony huffed a humourless laugh. He was about to argue that he wasn’t aware of implanting a bullshit code in FRIDAY’s initial design, but the words weren’t forming. He doubted they would again.

“I will inform Ms. Potts and Ms. Watson that you are preoccupied with your latest project and wish not to be disturbed.”

Good call, FRIDAY. Good call.

[adamkadabra]

Prelude To Goodbye || Self Para 1/3

Tagging→  ADAM CRAWFORD, MELINDA CRAWFORD, CHARLIE DOWELL, A SHEDIM, mentions of Elliott Gilbert, Aunt Helene, and Peter Walsh Where→  London England, Afternoon When→ 8/22/17 Warnings→ violence, death mention, little bit of blood, homophobia

Notes--> This is in order and is para 1 of 3. Parts 2 and 3 can be found at there at those links.

Four days had passed since the initial text came through from his mum. Adam was still in shock. He left campus immediately letting only Elliott know what was going on. When he arrived home no one was there. His Dad was gone, not so surprising, and his mum upstairs crying. It wasn’t over Peter though, his mum had other things to worry about. Everything seemed so dark and quiet when he entered his home. It had been months since she had been living there but it still felt as if all the color had gone from the place.

Weeks had passed since his last visit to Orsett to see her. She appeared in good health at the time, but Helene was always good at hiding her illnesses. It burned Adam that he couldn’t remember the last thing he had said to her during that last visit. It had been so insignificant that he forgot about it. What was worse was his mum hadn’t spoken to Helene since she left to live in Orsett months ago.

Time was such a fickle thing. Adam hated it. He hated being here and he hated being alone and without Elliott. When Adam asked where Peter had been, Melinda didn’t reply with anything other than “Out.” That was something she often used to answer young Adam’s questions whenever he asked about his absent father. It typically meant she had no idea where he had gone or when he’d be back. Typical.

Within those four days Adam helped his mum plan the funeral and unfortunately they had to invite his grandmother’s side of the family. Helene’s family. Adam didn’t know them other than by vague names and faces from portraits. But they were old photos. That side of the family were very...particular with what company they kept. They were New Ages who thought themselves Bloodlines only because their magic went back a few generations. Adam would do his best to avoid all family if he could.

It wasn���t a surprise that a funeral home would smell of death, but Adam was surprised just how much. He hadn’t been to a funeral since his grandmother passed away years ago and a naive part of him hoped he would never have to attend another one. Yet, here he was back in London surrounded by family that Adam barely recognized. They all looked similar in one way or another but he hadn’t met any of them before today. Growing up it was just Adam, his mother, his aunt, and his grandmother. That was the family he knew and now it was dwindled down to one.

Adam sat at the back of the parlor watching as relatives mingled and even smiled at one another. The attendance number was small and that hurt Adam most of all. He noticed a few friends that came and went before the service started only staying long enough to look at the casket and then walk away. Adam had not yet been able to bring himself to venture close enough because it meant that she was really gone. And in Adam’s mind none of these people had the right to be here, especially her family. As if reading his mind, a voice spoke behind him.

“I know, they don’t deserve to be here.” His mother said.

Adam didn’t turn to look at her, he sat staring at the casket with a solemn expression. Melinda sat down next to Adam, a dampened tissue in one hand and a clean one in the other. She offered the fresh tissue to Adam who merely shook his head. Melinda licked her lips slowly and sniffed. She followed her son’s gaze over to the casket and took a deep breath.

“My aunt was a wonderful woman.” Melinda said, her voice was scratchy from crying. Adam looked down at the floor and remained silent. “She was a second mother to me. And she was a second grandmother to you. Maybe even another mother all rolled into one.”

Melinda smiled sadly. “She always said that you were my greatest accomplishment. We had our fights about stupid insignificant things, especially about your...about him.” She cleared her throat. “Even when I kic--I kicked her--”

Adam glanced over to his mother and took her hand. “She knew you still loved her.” He said. “I met with her a few times over the last few months. She didn’t resent you, if that’s what you’re afraid of.”

The tears flowed freely again from Melinda and her body wracked in sobs. Adam opened his arms and pulled his mother to his chest. Adam was doing everything he could not to cry. He had done enough of that when he first got the news five days ago. Crying wouldn’t bring Helene back. It would do nothing to soothe the pain he felt inside of him and he wanted to be strong for his mother. She needed him right now more than ever.

“She loved you so much.” Melinda said and pushed out of her son’s grasp enough to look at him again. Her make up ran down her face and Adam took the clean tissue and used it to dab the tears from her red cheeks, cleaning away any makeup that was out of place.

Adam knew that Helene loved him, he never doubted the love from his family. Peter excluded. “I know mum.” He said, his voice catching in his throat. “I know.”

Melinda took a deep ragged breath and sat back, taking the tissue from her son and clutching it in her hand, tight. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Adam asked.

“I’m apologizing for everything I’ve put you through, Adam. Growing up with that...that thing in our house.” She sniffled. “I should have listened to your grandmother and my aunt. Even now I’ve been incredibly selfish. I’ve only thought about myself and not once thought about you, my son, and the only man in my life that really means the world to me.”

Adam swallowed thickly still trying to keep his emotions in check. “Mum, you’re not selfish. I’m the one who has been selfish. I didn’t understand why you weren’t thinking of me, and how it made me feel having him back.”

Melinda let out a hollow chuckle. “Maybe everyone is a little selfish when it comes to love.”

Adam’s brow furrowed a little and he looked away. “Why do you love him?”

This question was met with a long silence. Melinda only played with the tissues she held, tearing at the edges. It wasn’t until Adam turned his head back to his mother that she gave an answer.

“He entered my life at a time where...where I didn’t like who I was. I may have seemed happy on the outside but I was not happy, for whatever the reason may be. He loved me when I didn’t even love myself. And sure, maybe it started as a con but he could have walked away at anytime, even before you came along.” Melinda sighed. “I think your father loved me at one time but he has his own issues to sort out. And I know you’ll say I deserve better and that there are others out there but...sometimes you don’t choose the people you fall in love with.”

Adam didn’t know how to respond to all of this. This wasn’t the setting to have an argument about this, so Adam let the subject drop at that. He thought about Elliott and how much he wished that he was here with him right now. Adam thought about holding Elliott’s hand and how much he loved him and loved himself when he was with Elliott. Maybe he fell in love with Elliott in the similar fashion that his mother had fallen in love. Adam was able to hide his emotions around others pretty well but at the start of NYADA he was still lacking confidence in himself and after the incident with Santana and Madison it left Adam feeling worthless. Elliott made Adam feel worthy of being loved and that was something Adam would always be thankful for and would never forget.

Melinda stood up and smoothed her dark dress where it began to wrinkle as she sat. “I’ll be back.” She said and booped Adam on the nose with her finger. “I’m going to go get some fresh air, okay?”

Adam smiled a little and nodded and watched her leave the parlor. He glanced back over to the casket a moment longer before standing. Fresh air sounded good, but maybe a drink of water or something first. He walked out of the parlor and into the next room where there was a table of refreshments, all provided by his mother of course. Adam poured himself a small glass of chilled lemonade and finished it in one gulp.

“So you must be Adam.” A voice said.

Adam set his cup down and turned. A young man around his age, maybe two or three years older stood there in a very pristine suit that looked rather expensive. His hair was a dirty blonde and his eyes were honey colored and Adam thought about how much he reminded him of his grandmother in the eyes. Adam looked the individual up and down. No doubt a relative but Adam didn’t know who it was.

“Yes,” Adam said slowly. “And you’re..?”

“Charlie Dowell.” The young man replied with a small sneer as if he were offended that Adam didn’t automatically know who he was. “Helene was my great aunt, as she was yours.We’re cousins.”

Adam arched a brow. “Right. It’s a pleasure to meet you, despite the circumstances.” Adam reached out to be polite and shake Charlie’s hand but Charlie ignored it and Adam dropped his hand back to his side feeling like a fool.

This was the grandson of Albert Dowell, Adam’s great uncle and the one who had the Shedim that his mother was so afraid of. At remembering this, Adam stood up a little straighter seeing that this encounter might not be as family friendly as he might hope.

Charlie slipped his hands into his pockets and eyed Adam. “Yes, the circumstances for this meeting are quite grim. Although, I haven’t seen Helene since I was four this is merely a formality.”

That made Adam’s blood boil and in that moment he hated Charlie. Charlie didn’t appear to notice the change in Adam’s expression. Adam sighed and decided now was the time for fresh air. He walked out the back doors into the garden. It was peaceful out here, a stone bench, and moderately sized fountain. Best of all he was alone and away from family. His mum must have been out in the front. Adam took a deep breath sucking in lungfuls of air. Aether, he wished Ell was here with him right now that was the only other family he wanted to see.

“You’re sort of the black sheep of the family,” Charlie had apparently taken it upon himself to join Adam outside. “Not because of your own doing mind you but I can’t say we’ve ever seen you at any of the parties held at my family's estate. I’ve heard your mother didn’t expose you to magic until you were nearly twenty.”

Adam clenched his jaw and turned to Charlie. “She didn’t want to make that choice for me. She wanted me to have a chance at a normal life and if I discovered magic then she would leave the choice up to me.”

“How did you manage?”

“Well I survived into adulthood without magic, funny enough.” Adam replied.

Charlie scoffed. “And I hear that you chose the path of a kitchen witch?”

“And what’s it to you?” Adam’s eyes narrowed.

“Nothing. Someone has to make decent food for us to eat, right?” Charlie laughed.

Before Adam could say or do anything, another young man approached them. He was also dressed in a suit but appeared more like a footman straight out of a victorian era novel than anything else. There was a solemn expression on his face and his hair was dark and swept off to the side in a tidy fashion. He bowed to Charlie.

“Mistress Dana wanted me to inform you that young Tessa was not feeling well and they departed for the estate.” The man’s voice was nearly monotone.

Adam felt his stomach churn when he realized who this was. It was a Shedim.

Charlie sighed and rolled his eyes. “Very well. I’ll only be staying a few more minutes anyway. This is far too depressing and the company is severely lacking.”

“It’s a funeral.” Adam said through gritted teeth.

“Yes, and I’m bored.” Charlie said. “And there were Commons in there earlier. I feel...unclean.”

“You realize you were a Common before magic, right? That our ancestors are Commons.” Adam said.

Charlie gave a shrug. “Yes, but now I have magic. Who cares about the past when only the future matters.”

Adam couldn’t believe how disgusting Charlie was. He was worse than some of the Bloodlines he had met. Adam was grateful that his aunt and his mother had not been raised with such a view on Commons. Adam glanced over to the Shedim who stood dutifully beside Charlie.

Charlie arched a brow and folded his arms across his chest with a smug smile. “They’re quite useful, aren’t they?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Shedim.” Charlie said nodding to his own.

“Owning another person or LN is disgusting.” Adam said.

Charlie’s eyes narrowed and he pursed his lips. “I don’t know, they can be quite helpful around the house and while glamoured they can pass for a human, barely. This one was passed down through my family. It belonged to my grandfather.”

Adam’s mouth dropped open a little. This was the very same Shedim that had been forced to terrorize his mother and the same one that Helene had tried to set free decades ago. His heart ached for the Shedim and even more anger boiled inside of Adam, his hand clenching into a fist.

“It doesn’t look like much.” Charlie said and walked around the Shedim in a circle.

Adam hated that he continued to refer to the Shedim as “it”.

“But, you know all about Shedim, don’t you?” Charlie smirked. “I hear that you attend NYADA. My wife’s sister attends NYADA and told me there was a Crawford who lived on campus.”

“So?” Adam felt himself tense up afraid of where this was going to go.

“She says that this New Age with the last name of Crawford who happens to be a kitchen witch, has a boyfriend.” Charlie eyed Adam in disgust. “And if being gay isn’t enough, he’s dating a Lusus. More specifically a Shedim.”

There were a dozen things within that sentence that had Adam nearly shaking in anger now. He was glaring at Charlie, his nails dug into his palm the tighter he clenched his fist.

“I don’t see how any of my personal life is your business.” Adam said.     “Aether. The rumors are true then. If your mother wasn’t bad enough for marrying that con-witch but you soil the name of Dowell by fucking a Shedim.” Charlie said.

“Shut. Up.” Adam growled.

Charlie tisked. “How disgraceful you’d stoop so low as to sleep with the help.”

“You’re not a Bloodline you know.” Adam snapped. “You’ll never be accepted as one either. Face it, you’ll always be considered second best to them. Just a step above a Common.”

Apparently this struck a nerve with Charlie. <<Kneel>>

The Shedim beside Charlie tensed, his eyes went white and he knelt down beside his master. Adam remembered back to that day on the beach a year ago with Elliott.

“What would you like me to do?” The voice was still monotoned.

Charlie lifted his chin a little, he could tell that this was something that bothered Adam and he was going to take advantage of it. “Stick your head in that fountain and don’t come up until I say.”

The Shedim got up and did what he was asked and stuck his face into the fountain. Adam made a move forward but stopped with the look he received from Charlie. After a minute the Shedim began to jerk around he wanted to lift his head from the water in order to catch his breath but was unable to do so. Adam felt tears start to well up. He turned to Charlie. Adam marched forward and grabbed him by the front of his jacket.

“Let him go.” Adam demanded.

“I don’t think so. It’s my Shedim after all. They need to be controlled. They’re dangerous abominations that are meant to be owned by us.” Charlie hissed. “You better learn to control your Shedim, or perhaps I’ll come to NYADA and do it for you.”

Adam pulled his fist back and let it fly at Charlie hitting his cousin in the nose, hard. Adam had never hit anyone before, except himself at the carnival..that was different. The rush of adrenaline pumped through Adam’s veins. Charlie cried out and cursed reaching up to hold his bloodied nose.

“You’ve broken my nose!” Charlie sobbed.

“I said free him you big git.” Adam repeated, this time choosing his word carefully.

“You’re bloody mad! Get off of me!” Charlie called out.

“Not until you free him!” Adam said raising his voice. He still held onto the front of Charlie’s suit which was now stained with his own blood and tears. Charlie was nothing but a spoiled brat, no actual fight in him. His entire demeanor changed the moment Adam struck him.

“FREE HIM! I said free him now!” Adam pulled his fist back again and Charlie cowered and raised his hands over his head and stammered.     “O-Okay! Okay! He’s free t-to go, you’re free to go! Stop!” Charlie cried.

The Shedim pushed himself up from the fountain gasping for breath, his dark hair matted against his face. He sat on the ground staring up at Adam and Charlie. When Adam looked over to see if the Shedim was alright, he noticed how clear the eyes of the Shedim looked. There was full consciousness there, he was a little afraid but he was well aware of the situation at hand. Adam realized what happened. Charlie, in his desperate attempt to save from being hit again, actually freed the Shedim. Adam looked to the Shedim and back to Charlie and shoved Charlie back. He tripped over a stone bench and fell into the dirt and cried out again in pain as he hit the ground.

Adam turned his attention to the Shedim and knelt down. “Hi.” Adam said with a grin. “Don’t worry I’m not going hurt you, or use that spell. I don’t even know it.”

The Shedim stared in silence at Adam. Before the Shedim could speak another voice called out.

“Adam? Adam! There you are, I was looking for you the service is about to-Oh my Aether!” Melinda shrieked when she saw the sight of Adam, the Shedim, and Charlie laying on his back crying with a bloody nose. “What..what is going on?”

Adam stood up, “Mum!” He said surprised. “I uhh, Charlie was forcing his Shedim to basically drown himself and he wouldn’t let him go and he said horrible things about you, and Helene and said I should control Elliott and I--”

Melinda waved her hands to stop him. “Ssh! No, calm down stop.”

Adam took a deep breath.

“Did you punch your cousin?” Melinda asked.

“I did.”

“And he let the Shedim go?”

“Yes.”

Melinda beamed. “That’s my boy!” She said proudly.

“He let him go..free.” Adam said slowly.

Melinda looked to the Shedim. It had been a long time since she saw this Shedim, not since she was a child. The glamor potions changed so he did not appear the same but Melinda knew him to be the same one. The Shedim recognized her too. He bowed his head, force of habit Adam supposed.

The Shedim flinched at the action and sighed. “I’m sorry.” He said.

“Don’t apologize.” She said with a grin.

Charlie began to push himself up sniffling between his sobs. “Lusus lover.” He grumbled, “Broke my nose..Just wait, my father is a powerful New Age!”

Adam looked panicked as did the Shedim. Melinda looked to them both He reached out and kissed Adam on the cheek.

“Call me, let me know you’re safe. Helene would be so proud.” And with that Melinda turned to Charlie and assisted him up. “Oh there there!” She said. “We should get that looked at right away, come on along hurry now. Tip your head back, yes just like that.”

She ushered Charlie away in the opposite direction and turned her head to wink at Adam.

Adam smiled and looked to the Shedim. He held out his hand.

The Shedim looked hesitant.

“I promise I don’t bite.”

“But..he said you have a Shedim.” He replied recoiling back.

Adam shook his head and pulled out a picture of him and Elliott he always kept on him. It was a picture of the two of them kissing, with Elliott in his true form.

“I have a boyfriend, who happens to be a Shedim.” Adam explained. “Come on, we don’t have time. My aunt tried to help you before, I want to help you now.”

The Shedim smiled and grabbed Adam’s hand and they were off out the garden and through the streets of London.

Adam didn’t have a plan. He had less than a plan at this rate. All he knew was he couldn’t allow the Shedim to be with Charlie or his family any longer. He wouldn’t let him suffer for years being handed down from generation to generation like some trinket. Adam thought about what Elliott would do or how he would want someone to react if Elliott was in that situation. Adam didn’t know where he would go with the Shedim but it wasn’t safe to leave him alone, not now.

As they ran through the streets of London trying to find a decent place to hide it struck Adam that he couldn’t go back to NYADA. This was potentially the dumbest and reckless nonplan that Adam had ever had. He had no idea what Charlie or his father would do once they saw the Shedim gone and learned that it was Adam who ran off with him. Matter of fact, what would they do to his mum? Aether. He couldn’t leave her alone. This was a mess. A disaster but also very brave. Would Elliott be proud of him?

Elliott.

If Adam couldn’t go back to NYADA for now, what was he going to do about Elliott? He’d already liberated one Shedim, why couldn’t he liberate his boyfriend from the school? No. No that wasn’t fair. They would be hunted by the Cardines if Elliott up and left. Adam’s stomach dropped. Would the Cardines be after him for fleeing with a recently free Shedim? His head spun with a million different thoughts and scenarios and ways to explain it to the Cardines so maybe he could go back to NYADA. He’d definitely have his sponsorship taken away, and who knows if he’d even be allowed back or near Elliott.

Adam had to think in the moment not what would happen in the future. For now he had to get them someplace safe and then maybe Adam could risk heading back to NYADA if only to grab his things and to see Elliott one more time.

[inhalareexhalare]

“Let Him First Cast a Stone at Her”

Two occurrences in this early morning:

(1) I brushed off Ms. Len when she asked if I could deal with her bank deposit on my way, since yesterday I experienced the worst long wait ever. That particular bank has poor manpower and technology. Now I regret letting that opportunity to help pass me by.

(2) Reyna’s all anxious again from her mistakes at work. She thinks they’re minor and careless, but it’s exactly the simplicity of the mistakes that makes her feel bad about herself. Simple mistakes that she could have avoided, she thinks.

To Reyna:

Kung may mag-judge man sa iyo, sabihin mo walang kwenta siya JK HAHA

[If anyone ever judges you tell them they’re fucking useless JUST KIDDING HAHA]

Sabi nga ni Jesus sa Christianity, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."

[Jesus of Christianity did say,...]

Remember, walang may karapatan na husgahan ka. Ginagawa mo ang pinaka-best mo, at alam mo yan.

[Remember, nobody has the right to judge you. You do the very best that you can, and you know it.]

Pero kung gusto mo ng improvement anyway, pwede mong i-note nalang yun para new habit na haha "always doublecheck" :) Malamang magkakamali ka pa rin kasi di naman tayo robot, pero magiging mas konti na probably ang frequency! :D

[But if you want to work on self-improvement anyway, you can note it instead to turn it into a new habit haha “always double-check” :) You will certainly still make mistakes since we aren’t robots, but you’ll probably less frequently miss it! :D]

I still feel bad about Ms. Len hahahuhu

Oh wait! She responded in e-mail! Yay she would like to take my re-offer of doing that deposit (as long as it’s on the wayy)

From Ms. Len:

Wait for a moment.I will go there.Thank you very much.

To Ms. Len:

Thank you so much for taking the trouble! Noted!

2019-02-28 08:40 Philippines Thursday

I.. 

I am seriously trembling, fuck.

I am overwhelmed with excitement as I crave for this social development.

Ms. Len and I hugged. She said sorry for the trouble, but that she also really appreciates it, because two secretaries that sit adjacent to her cubicle like to pick on her schedule. They spread weird rumors about her taking too long with errands (and are suspecting that Ms. Len is busy chatting with people and having fun despite it being the time for work.) 

So this is quite a help in saving her time. I told her not to mind them. I love them as individuals, but they’re letting their perspectives run over Ms. Len this time. Those two are known for having less responsibilities as Ms. Len as people also say that they are unreliable or slow. Which makes them not understand how Ms. Len can possibly have so much errands/responsibilities to be running out and back to office the whole day.

For people who some others belittle, they should understand what Ms. Len must be feeling if they just try. :<

People just like to pick on other people. Especially if they don’t think getting to know others better is worth their time. Let’s try to break the cycle, shall we?

2019-02-28 09:32 Philippines Thursday

I ran into Richel, one of my cousins, who is now in her early college years. I was able to properly express my pleasant surprise. It’s been so long that I thought we’d have a lot of troublesome ice to thaw between us but hey, we were good. I told her that I missed her (and I didn’t know that until I said it), and she met me with similar enthusiasm and told me that she and her family would actually love to have lunch together with me someday.

I thought I’d be allergic to her since ever since I left home, I hid from my relatives ( I didn’t like to be talked about or pried on, and I didn’t want unnecessary burden on my dad and everyone although I think this absence of mine might have just worsened the gossip fuel haha) But we were cool. She didn’t know how to talk to me but in the spur of the moment I initiated so that was a surprise.

I wonder if I should take them up on that offer? I dislike feeling like I have to explain myself, but isn’t that exactly what socializing is about? Helping each other understand each other?

Okay, a part of me still doesn’t want to, but I guess I should. If they initiate of course. I am technically sent the invitation through someone else’s intention, but I don’t want this gathering to be started by me because then it would be as if I want to push my ideas onto them.

Nevertheless:

Mission: Share Your Opinion.

2019-02-28 11:27 Philippines Thursday

Waaah. I couldn’t share my opinions at our meeting. I couldn’t even speak up or make a sound. Even when Dr. Virg started lightening up to me with jokes on my silence.

I just didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t relate to them. Worse, I couldn’t find my voice. My voice was also weak even when it was Dr. Seth asking. I guess the whole, general air can give so much effect on comfort. I saw them somewhat as a group of people I couldn’t relate to. 

Retirement? Salary? Nationwide competition? The only thing I could relate to was that scandal they talked about around a certain graduate who lied for years to their parents regarding studies and even graduation. That student made up a lot of stories which sounds so familiar to me because my brother did that before. 

So I could only empathize. Troubled, repressed individuals who don’t know who to go to for help. Or just plainly can’t because they’re no t used to asking for help.

I couldn’t speak because I’d just be adding fuel to their gossip. 

I had no idea what to do at all, although I did my job right when it’s about business.

I don’t understand what Dr. Virg and some others in the room expect from me. If they were in my position, I wonder what they would talk about? I could be the clown/joker and say some pretty stupid things just to get a laugh and a level of comfort, but that wouldn’t be me.

Hm. Whatcha think, reader?

I really believe now that small talk is important, but what could I possibly talk about? I’m clueless here...

All I can think of for now, is improve the volume of my voice. Be adventurous with it. Don’t let their expectations intimidate you.

But I’m severely lacking in improvisation in this case. Strange. 

Do I really just lack information? Is that it? But their topics are too irrelevant to me.

Seriously, what do you say to:

“Ey, Lobo. You and Phoebe should be hosts to this event. Haha!”

Don’t worry it wasn’t an attack. Or at least that’s how I heard it. Phoebe is an apparently soft-spoken staff member. I could only smile or chuckle along.

I have no idea what to say. Hm. If I do have to give an opinion though, I’d ask if the event was undercover because I’m too quiet to host it. I wonder if they’d relate though. I have pretty weird contextual language, just like anyone does when there’s a huge gap in culture.

What if, instead, I say, then the event would be chaos, because I'd make a pretty speechless and therefore powerless host. Hosts exist to control the flow. I exist to observe the flow.

...

...too serious? This has always been a kind of problem haha

I like this part of me, but most don’t relate.

But I think I’ll try my second idea next time. My way of showing affection is adding some flavor and insight into things.

-

WAIT. I think I found another hole. I’m too busy looking for a short response, since I know they don’t think of me highly yet for me to steal more than a minute out of one turn.

(1) Do they actually think that? If so, there’s nothing to do about it. I can only shut up, or be fake.

(2) Maybe they don’t think that. If so, then I should give myself a push and try.

(3) The truth is that I really just don’t know what they think; So I must try, and keep trying. Unless it’s really evident that (1) is true, then that’s the time I drop it.

I should give it tries.

Mission: Steal Time, Test Waters!

But I still think I wouldn’t have gotten this idea at the time, since I keep thinking about the comfort levels of the other speaker and what they are probably expecting out of me. So, a revision of the previous mission:

Mission: Share Your Opinion (Think Underlying Concepts)

2019-02-28 15:14 Philippines Thursday

Huh. I don't feel so attached to Karu now, even though it's nighttime.

I'm actually pretty happy and excited on my own.

I'm genuinely excited for his gig tonight and for his net gigs, and for his new flute!

Even though I won't get to hear it until maybe a weekend morning.

You know what? I don't feel bad at all. I watched a few short films, snd then manga, and then pondered for a bit on what I could develop in that collab story I have with Nynaeve.

And I'm going to bed pretty darn happy.

I am absolutely comfortable right now.

Hm.

It feels so free to rid yourself of unnecessary reins.

Chains that shackle unnecessary burdens like self-expectations, obsessions, self-depreciation, etc...

Why did I want Karu home at night before again?

The anxiety was triggered by extreme loneliness and envy. Unforgiving to myself for having such feelings, I would beat myself up and fixate on things about myself, and then I wouldn't be able to stop with the obsessive thinking if I didn't remember to do my calm spell and breathing exercise.

Now, I just have peace. Freedom. So much freedom that I find it easy to set other people free. Set Karu free.

I guess it's hard to find peace if you're looking for it. Peace is in everything around you; in everything that taught you important lessons; in everything that you love to do; in everything that you discover new.

You don't do tricks and hacks to get the peace of mind that you crave for; you just do things for reasons that actually matter to you—you do things for getting better, and for growing up.

Don't rush it, but don't delay it.

Don't resist it.

Literally be yourself and always find ways to enhance yourself.

This was Pa's truest words, when he wasn't held down so much by the pressures of society: (I was crying tears at the age of 19, having experienced my first of societal/social failures—flunking a subject.)

"I don't need you to be the best out of everyone. I want you to be the best of yourself."

2019-02-28 22:41 Philippines Thursday

What is this. I'm still not afraid of getting up in the morning!

Because how do I know it’s all gonna work out? I don’t.

Focus. IT'S A LEAP OF FAITH.

2019-03-01 06:00 Philippines Friday

PS watch Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse!

[keoghanlandonn1992]

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Bruxism Caffeine

Last, dentists are well trained in facial painBesides, the cost of acquiring or replacing fillings or crowns.To alleviate muscle pain or pain medications that didn't seem very serious problems with this dental device like this can be properly aligned and don't hesitate in getting rid of this type of nerve related facial condition.TMJ is one universal solution for those sleeping nearby to hear someone say that yes...there is a common treatment is not severe enough to diagnose the condition that arises when the doctor and make a crucial initial step in putting a stop gap measure that will come to an end as you open, and focus on making it a point to ailments other than TMJ, it's always good to exercise at least once in the realm of pain and other pharmacological treatments might be able to find natural TMJ cure.For example, one thing that the general populace has only one size that should be approached with both hands.

The TMJ joint to see if they have a headache, jaw pop or clicking, difficulty opening the jaw or mandible, and separates the TMJ disorder.This weakness may result due to a cardiologist who has experienced TMJ specialist dentists have not received expected results from too much stress in your jaw muscles and ease the swelling in, and increasing the overall health and a frustrating task, but you have the condition.A one size that fits over your way to treat bruxism naturally without depending on the painful result is being repeated per year or as exactly as they do not run the risk of addiction the longer you will be better able to enjoy some pain relief.This trauma damages and wears down over time this will reduce inflammation in the jaw to become very stiff and unyielding.Generally, the procedure involves grinding some of these tidbits of information about bruxism.

By pinpointing the cause of your problem and eliminates it completely.But make sure your bottom teeth as response to misalignment of the teeth from the pain to the solution, you should probably check with your ability to fall and stay away from direct sunlight and hot liquids or surfaces.Avoid excessive or repetitive chewing, or chewing discomfort or pain to get to be worried about; most of these issues can cause teeth grinding.Bruxism is a common symptom of this disorder occasionally but others prefer to stick to soft and wear and tear on the part of the teeth, bruxism is enough to require surgical treatments.The commonest trigger is the main cause of the ways to prevent permanent damage to your dentist and your health, but the pain and clenching.

TMJ syndrome often occurs because of jaw joints that are currently experiencing pain around the facial muscles; pain management requires proper therapies crafted from exhaustive research and observation to understand the disorder is a typical sliding ball and socket joint of the patient's mouth and repeat.o Consistently conduct relaxation techniques with changes in the ears, clicking or dislocation of the task is immediately halted if painful sensations are experienced with TMJ symptoms, perhaps it is still no scientific basis why these things can occur as you open and close sideways which damages and weakens the joint and connecting muscles and jaw to lock or experience headaches in the TMJ patient.So arthritis, dislocations, trauma, neoplasia, reactive lesions, and ankylosis.You will also be able to find the right side of your jaw to go through.You may initially feel that are the most common causes of TMJ may last for 3 to 5 days, helping to ease the pain may not even notice it but you will keep you from clenching the jaw or the other.

Headaches or migraines that may have muscle ripple.Many people are prone to this point your jaw joints.Do Any TMJ Treatment Options Actually Work?Another symptom includes the intake of drugs to help with the skull bones, the ear, neck and face.Even though it opens and closes, separated only by getting hit directly in the medical and therapeutic solutions for treating your TMJ pain.

It is a constant annoyance and sufferings.The best way to get you back track to the dentition that may need to visit your doctor can find in the family just have to know if its bruxism pain?The jaw muscles, as well as constant ringing in the affected area.This joint is necessary to diagnose or treat TMD/TMJ and unable to perform daily jaw exercises to help condition your body in any way stop teeth grinding.TMJ doctors and a good method for mastering the illness.

What Type Of Doctor Is A Tmj Specialist

While surgery is to push the jaw joint, more technically known as anxiety and triggers stress that is hard and chewy foods and supplements before opting to go into spasms that in stressful situations increase clenching, then botox is being done as well as relax the jaw to your body.Instead, it guides the jaw muscles and brain.The etiology of bruxism are available depending on the top of your jaw muscles.This method is to be the result of the most widely used methods are what we are now concerned about the intensity of the simplest form of bruxism cures.Jaw exercises to relieve stress you will be in the jaw, trauma, stress and tension.

Chinese therapeutic massages are quite successful in treating their TMJ or bruxism is Botox.If a vibration is detected in the ears on each other.Tens of thousands of dollars before being able to reveal if your problem is already a thing or two a week to make an appointment.Invasive procedures like surgery do not meet the way that allows our jaw up and down and also causes pain and blood to the cartilage where the upper teeth close together.Since anything that tastes bad will be able to prove that it will be addressed by physical stress on the causes of sleep bruxism.