#instead i feel stuck in this neverending cycle of infinite boredom and having nowhere to escape to
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i want to go back to october-november of last year so badly
#my brain seemed to hate me a bit less back then#and i was at least a tiniest bit interesting and way more interested in things#instead i feel stuck in this neverending cycle of infinite boredom and having nowhere to escape to#why is my brain like this#i just want to feel alive again but it seems to be so hard#i feel like i'm just constantly wasting my life and it's absolutely pathetic and pitiful and i bet everyone around me thinks this#so little would change if i disappeared and probably very few people would notice#why can't i just shut up and stop writing these stupid posts about my feelings#i should just fucking listen to that stupid receipt and bottle things up and stop whining#but i'm not strong enough to do that am i#really envious of those ancient greeks who turned to trees i wouldn't mind that#who aren't you envious of you stupid whiny piece of shit#personal
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