#instead the writers chose to focus on male angst

[11quillen11]

Thoughts on Bulgasal Episode 14

Things I liked this episode:

- MIN SI HO!! Look at her!! She is so brave, so strong, so kind!! Her and Doyoon continue to be my undisputed faves and I am so happy we got to see more of them this episode!!

- I was really racking my brain trying to figure out why Hwal would have stolen Eul Tae's soul while also asking Eul Tae to turn him back into bulgasal later. Originally I thought maybe Sangwoon had found another way to become human so he wanted to join her, or maybe Sangwoon really wanted to become human so he was going to offer Eul Tae's soul to her as a fucked up gift or something. Turns out that no, Hwal was just a dick. He was dying (I thought bulgasal couldn't die? Also, that neither could die as long as the other survived and stuff? So why was he dying?) and since he didn't have a soul, he wouldn't have had been reincarnated, he would have just disappeared. Hwal, being too petty to die however, stole OET's soul just to fuck the system and survive. What a piece of shit.

- This might come as a surprise, but I really liked Sangwoon this episode. See, I like her when she's willing to give Hwal a chance because she needs him and because they've been spending so much time together, but she still understands that he is dangerous and acts accordingly. Before she got her (blessed) flashback, Sangwoon was idioticly completely disregarding all the red flags because...? Idk why, she was just dumb I guess.

- That last scene. Hwal was mad at himself for Haesok's death, but couldn't process that anger so he redirected it at any and everyone. But when he was left completely alone, with no one to redirect his anger towards, and without even the benefit of a visual distraction, forced to confront his own thoughts, at last, he grieved. I still think it kinda sucks that our protagonist is getting this major character evolution so close to the end, but by itself, this whole sequence was excellent and the acting was amazing.

- Overall, this episode was very tense and suspensful. I was on the edge of my seat all throughout, I was invested in what was happening rather than just impatiently waiting for crumbs of information.

What I didn't like:

- They really won't let my girl Siho use her powers will they? They better have a fucking good reason to hold back on her discovering the truth until the last two episodes, because right now I just feel robbed of the amazing character growth and angst and tension that could have arisen from her learning the truth about everything.

- Those would be nitpicks if they weren't consistent with Sangwoon's characterisation up to this point: 1) why didn't she tell Hwal when she spotted/felt the monster? Girl knows she can't fight for shit but decides to just go for it alone? With her sister's life on the line as well? Sangwoon, please, use your brain for once!. 2) I really, sincerely, do appreciate that she was so concerned about Ms Lee and what to do with her body, but I wish she would still have expressed a greater sense of urgency as well. Like, Siho and Doyoon were in mortal danger and she didn't seem concerned enough imo. 3) Why does she never ask about Hwal's dead wife? He keeps talking about his family and this episode he litteraly called Siho "Dan Sol", and Sangwoon is just never curious. This whole thing is so weird. If the writers didn't want to deal with the awkardness of Hwal falling for the person he initially thought had murdered his wife and son while the reincarnation of his wife was right there, then by god just make Sangwoon the protagonist!!

- We still didn't get as much in the way of reveals as I would have liked, which continues to make me think that this show only needed 12 to 14 episodes, not 16.

I think that's all :)

After this episode, I have hope now that the last two episodes might be satisfying, at least.

[aaetherius]

Get To Know The Writer!

———  BASICS! ♡

(PEN)NAME: Noise

PRONOUNS: They / Them 

ZODIAC SIGN: Virg.o

TAKEN OR SINGLE: I am a single parent to a gremlin cat. I also have a dog and another cat, but when do I ever talk about them sorry my fur children I should not have a favorite, but I do.

———  THREE  FACTS! ♡

I am fairly/decently tattooed (verging on heavily tattooed, I think most would argue)? I think that’s something most people don’t know or assume about me (unless you’ve seen me, then, of course, it’s the first thing everyone notices). I have a lot of tattoos so I won’t describe/go over all of them (most of them are nerdy though). But the most obvious/largest one I have is my full sleeve (entire left arm), and that one is of Ok.ami! My favorite one, though, is on my thigh because I’m biased, and it’s a decently sized heart with a scene from K.iki’s Delivery service in it/things that reference it, but Lily and Jiji (the cats from Kiki’s) are colored/drawn as my two cats instead (their names are Elise and Bella and I love them very much gfheudhg)! And my most recent one is a pretty large Sailor Moo.n (Luna) inspired one on my calf (I got it done, unintentionally, like the day before we went into lockdown here and I still think about how that’s the last time I left my house other than to walk the dog and for the essentials, obviously dshjgjfy).  

A lot of you know this already, but I sew/know how to sew (largely self taught)! I mainly do cosplay stuff for myself now, and sometimes make cosplays for friends (if I love them enough ghufdihrudk). But there was a period of my life where I was doing it professionally/as a job. I had my own business, and used to make and sell plushies (mainly at conventions, and would do several conventions in a year. Free fun fact from that, but my best con was actually in Canada, of which I am not from nor do I live in, but because of that I have a business license/Tax number in Canada. Used to get invites to events in Canada all of the time and I had to tell them I don’t live there gfudrkugfgrfdr)! 

This is so very difficult. I’m out of facts and trying to come up with things you guys don’t already know ifdshliuf. Uhhhhh, on the more personal side/less fun side I guess, but I was on a learning plan (I honestly forget the actual term for it - basically it’s for when you struggle with a certain subject and have to take extra classes for it or are given accommodations for it because it’s difficult for you) throughout most of school/prior to college for - writing, actually (believe it or not gifdljhgkgrt)! I was often told how terrible I was at it/that I would never get better at it because the school system can be awful, but I enjoyed it, and was a very stubborn child so I kept at it anyway! Eventually I was taken off of it in high school entirely because of my own efforts. So, I just want to say: never let people tell you that you’re incapable of something/can’t do something/don’t let people bring you down! If you love something, and get enjoyment out of it, you should do it regardless of what others think/believe! And be kind/supportive to creatives (including yourself - so very much including yourself, you’re wonderful and deserving of respect and praise for doing what you do). It can take so much courage to write or draw or sew or sculpt a single thing (and you should be proud of that thing, even if it doesn’t live up to what you wanted, because what really matters is that you had the courage to do it at all)! There’s often so much going on behind the scenes that you’re not aware of, and you never know where, when, or how someone started off in something (so even if something seems easy for someone now, it likely wasn’t when they started and still might not be)!  

———  EXPERIENCE! ♡

I can’t recall when I started role-playing exactly (I’ve been writing, in general, since I could hold a pen). It’s been years, but I started with OCs on forums and with friends (in high school I had a group of friends that I would trade around a physical notebook with where we would write replies - one time, for a friend’s birthday, I had owed them a reply for a really long time, so we wrapped it up and them put it in five or so boxes, all of which were also wrapped, and gave it to them. It was a good time haha. Gosh I’m so old). Before eventually moving to tumblr. Most of my older/oldest OCs are still around on my general multi (August being the oldest, but a decent chunk of the OCs on that blog are pretty old). The first canon character I wrote was, I believe, Steven St.one from P.okemon. As far as Lucifer is concerned, I’m a few days away from this blog being seven months old!

———  MUSE  PREFERENCE! ♡

I’m not quite certain what my preference is to be honest! I enjoy writing both OCs and canon characters. I tend to favor characters I’m more emotionally invested in since I tend to be on the shy/more withdrawn side of things so it’s easier for me to interact with others/reach out to others when I’m more invested in a muse! A lot of it can depend on my mood as well, certain characters are easier for me to write depending on how I’m feeling ( but there are muses I find easy to write regardless of how I’m doing). And how comfortable I feel with/on my dash also plays a fairly decent role in my preference, as well! And I enjoy running both single and multi-muse blogs, though most of my blogs are multis (but having a single muse blog is so nice). As far as archetypes go, I think I don’t favor one as much as I used to, but I still write a lot of white-haired muses haha. As far as gender goes, I tend to write male identifying muses most often.        

———  FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡    

FLUFF: I love and adore all things soft. Obviously it’s easier with certain muses than others (Lucifer lends himself well to fluff, but I have muses, like L.ucilius, who do not). I’m always down to write fluffy things, and very much enjoy it! I like and favor happy/soft content! I like seeing muses get closer, and living their lives and I’m always excited to see characters happy/finding out what they enjoy/spending time with others and learning about them/letting characters live their lives (especially in Lucifer’s case because, well, you know haha. If Cy.games won’t let him be happy I will simply have to do it myself).

ANGST: I like angst to a certain extent. I’m not into super heavy angst that has a bad/unhappy outcome, and doesn’t serve much of a purpose beyond being angsty. But angst that allows characters to develop is wonderful, and expected. And I love the recovery period. Writing muses addressing and living with their actions or learning how to cope with them - how their past or how what’s happened impacts their day to day lives and how they think/what bothers them/their actions/how it becomes a part of them, and what it takes for them to grow. Or how it deepens their relationship with another, and the comfort that comes with it. I enjoy angst that has a happy/meaningful ending. 

SMUT: It tends to be very case-by-case by with me. I may write it with certain muses (of mine) and not with others. I may be open to writing it with certain ship partners, and not with others, as well. I will/can write it, but it depends on my comfort level (and it is by no means a deal breaker if you chose to write or not write it). Generally speaking, it largely depends on how comfortable I am with the mun I’m writing with, and with my own muse that’s involved. So I might write it from time to time/it could come up, and there might be other times where I’m not comfortable/confident (and fading to black/time skipping is also a-okay with me, especially if you’re interested in exploring the aftermath/comfort that follows it, but not actually writing the smut part of that out). Though, keep in mind, when it comes to actually writing it out on my end, I’m more invested and interested in the emotional aspect that intimacy tends to bring with it/how it impacts the relationship (before, during, and after), and that does tend to be what I focus on when I write it (because I just find that part of it interesting to explore because my favorite things to write are character and relationship development). So, long story short, I’m selective with it.

PLOT / MEMES: Both are good! You’re always welcome to turn an ask or meme into a thread, and I find that it’s easier to start threads through asks/memes than it is through starters/a starter call so I very much enjoy them! But plotting is also nice, and I enjoy it! Sometimes, though, I have a million ideas, and it goes super well, and other times my head is completely empty and I have no thoughts whatsoever. But plotting also tends to make writing a starter/interacting easier, and also leads to interesting threads! So, I’m open to both!

tagged by: @cirocchio (thank you)!

tagging ( if you want to do this, but no pressure if you don’t! ): @cxffexngel, @anamnaesis, @hartblooms, @shymaidxn, @unladylikc, @whisperonn, @dcpraved, @synnthos, @caelumsaltator, @againthemartyr, @eternalwhite!

[tetrakys10]

Sweet Elite episode 9

It’s Halloween at Arlington academy, and we get a nice, lighthearted episode to make up for all the angst we went through lately. Long post below the cut.

The episode starts during preparations for the official Arlington Halloween party, you have a chance to ask someone to help you with putting up some decorations. Our favourite senior shows up to explain that this person will be the one we spend most time with during the episode. Whatever LI you chose, you have a chance to get to know them better and raise your infinity meter.

The following day we notice Ellie, Tayler and Tegan acting strange, we have a choice to follow them or not, not sure what happens if you chicken out, but if you go ahead you find out that they are building a robotic Arlingtonator to scare Tadashi on Halloween.

Afterwards, scholar suddenly remembers that they don’t have a costume yet and it’s very late for last minute shopping, so they end up buying a simple witch hat online. I don’t know if this changes between male and female scholar, but my two girls look really really cute.

(The one on the left is Tetrakys who is romancing Axel, the one on the right is Nyx who is on Tegan’s route.)

Then we go back to class, science class specifically, and realise that we don’t understand what the teacher is talking about and we need help. Luckily, depending on the person you chose to spend time with, someone will come to your help and organise a study group where your chosen crush will also be present.

Now, allow me to digress for a moment.

---

I don’t like when my scholar proves to be less capable than the others, she is a scholarship student, she should be smarter. While on Tegan’s route this part only slightly annoyed me but I soon got over it, on Axel’s route it was worse. Because, firstly, Tetrakys is in the science department, so not undertanding the science lecture and needing help is more serious and I would completely freak out. Second, the person who came to her rescue was... Claire. FREAKING CLAIRE. I hate Claire. Ok... I don’t hate hate her, but she really got on my bad side for multiple reasons:

1) The first time I played I was trying to pursue Tadashy, I didn’t know that, when the meter is the same, you get the illustration of the first person in aphabetical order. Which was... Claire.

2) Scholar was amazing during the department competition, she did a great interview, came up with the best idea and saved the day when things went downhill, and she ended up third place behind effing Claire who, of all things, was spending her time MANUALLY COPYING her notes for her classmates instead of scanning them.

3) When we were all helping Tadashi and people where looking for someone to help him write his speech I thought that it was finally our moment since our contribution that far had been to just buy computer parts online... and instead... they picked Claire! For the sole reason that apparently everyone loves her...??? We nailed the interview in episode 4!

And now, Claire again saves the day coming to our rescue using her superior intellect to explain the lecture for us...

It’s clear we will never be best friends.

---

Anyway, moving aside from my dislike of a 2D fictional character, we at least end up spending a bit more time with our crush, and even see some teasing from the other characters pointing out how that person was excited to have us in the study group.

Following this, we are asked to join a meeting with all the LIs except Tadashi, where Ellie explains that they have been organising a secret party and we are going to trick Tadashi to join it. One group is going to attend the official Arlington party and get Tadashi away with an excuse, another will stay at the dorm and prepare things. Scholar is always part of the kidnapping party.

While going back to the dorms we assist at a conversation between Karolina and Neha talking about an important fashion show that is going to happen soon at Arlington, a hint to the next plot I guess, probably Neha and/or Karolina’s arc.

Then it’s finally time for the party. We wear our hat (first illustration) and go to the gym. Once there we manage to take Tadashi away saying that we saw the Arlingtonator luriking in the dorms corridors, Tadashi believes us because Alistar is there too. We see Tadashi trying to put a brave face and not show how freaked out he actually is, we take him to the dorms and at the right time the Arlingtonator appears, scaring the crap out of him. Everyone laughs and the real party can finally start. They put Tadashi in a Pikachu onsie and crazy makeup

he is a good sport and lets people do whatever they want to him (he must be really greatful for the help everyone gave him during his whole ordeal). This is where we get the second illustration depending on the group we chose to spend time with.

Then we are told (but we don’t see it) that more time goes by chatting, playing, doing tarots, and finally telling scary stories. We see only the last bit of it before we hear some noises from the corridor, it’s the custodians who are making rounds. Time to end the party and rush back to our room. Before we can close the door someone burges into the room right behind us. We wait in the dark for the custodians to go away and then we find out that it’s the LI we chose to spend time at the beginning of the episode. There’s a cute scene between the two, then they leave and the episode ends.

---

What I liked

I liked the episode in general, I think we needed something lighthearted and fun, and there were lots of funny moments there. I loved how everyone ganged up on Tadashi because he is the perfect sacrificial lamb 🤭🤭🤭 but you could tell they were also doing it for him, to make him have fun and distract him after everything he had gone through, and he appreciated it. That’s real friendship.

I also liked that it feels like the company really listens to their players’ feedback and takes it into account. There were two main problems that I had found in the past few episodes: the fact that we were spending very little time with our LI, not advancing the relationship, and the fact that we were forced to spend time with all 10 of them equally, again reducing the amount of time with the characters we really want to focus on. This time they made up for both, by chosing our crush at the beginning we were able to spend more time with them and with just a few selected other characters. No one is forgotten, we eventually meet and talk to everyone, but it doesn’t feel like the time is equally shared and the game feels more focused and with a proper direction.

Another thing I really liked were the costumes. They were so damn on point. For everyone. They really capture the essence of the characters and I love when a game is able to stay true to its characters’ personalities even with the little things. And they all looked so damn good. Alistair as a firefighter?? HELLO MISTER! Raquel as a cheeky pirate, Ellie as a deadly Alice and... Axel 😍 Axel was some kind of modernised version of the Phantom of the Opera (I think) and HELLO??? This is one of my big bias, he looked so good 😍 I have only one complain: he took the mask off too soon 😭 he should’ve worn it the whole time 😭 I don’t care that it was too hot, it was hot in other ways too if you know what I mean...

One last thing I’d like to add is that I think the art was really pretty. I am totally useless when it comes to art, but to my ignorant eyes it looks like the artist is making lots of progress.

What I didn’t like

There’s only one thing, actually, and this is probably just a matter of personal taste. I thought that the writing lacked heat when it came to the romantic parts. I think that it was pretty good with comic and fluffy moments, but there was little passion. And I know this is a game aimed at a young audience so that’s why I said that maybe the problem is me, maybe I’ve just outgrown this type of games, but I also think that you don’t have to go all bang bang to describe heat between characters. Scholars says multiple times that she feels attraction towards the LI, and I read it but I didn’t feel it. I’m happy that I waited to play Axel’s route before making up my mind, because that’s actually better. And yes, Axel is more forward than Tegan, so there’s that, but it also felt like Axel’s romantic moments were more developped than Tegan’s as if the writer was more interested in him, if it makes any sense. However, even with Axel, I think they could’ve pushed more.

This is the first time in a long while that I’m in the mood to rewrite the scene of a game the way I have it in my head, maybe this will help me get out of my writing slump.

---

Anyway, all in all, I’m pretty happy. Looking forward to episode 10!

[joeys-piano]

35-37 for odazai? :3

…I have my suspicions that you chose these questions because of a very cute idea I told you yesterday :3c I ended up writing mini-drabbles for each quesiton, so I’ll put the last two under a read more if you don’t mind~! Each mini-drabble is a mix of fluff, angst, and heart wrenching emotional comfort. I hope you enjoy, Kere.

Get to know my ships and preferences

35. Describe one dateImagine, if you will, a carnival along the piers that reside next to Yokohama Bay. There’s music, there’s laughter, there’s a decadence of colors and festivities, and it feels like everyone from within the city has crowded to the edge of these piers to partake in the entertainment and fun. I’d imagine that Oda and Dazai (post-Dark Era, where Oda lives) are strolling together when they happen to see the carnival from the corner of their eyes.

Strangely enough, Dazai seems a bit interested. He isn’t one to actively voice if he particularly wants something or if something has caught his eye, but Oda knows Dazai well enough. He could discern a faint glint of wonderment branded in Dazai’s gaze, and Oda comes to the realization that Dazai has probably never been to a carnival before.

Taking the initiative, Oda asks if Dazai wants to attend the carnival. In classic Dazai-behavior, he neither confirms nor denies that he wants to go, but he won’t object if it’s something that Oda’s interested in. In typical Oda-behavior, Oda says it’ll be nice to see what’s going on. He doesn’t let-on that he’s aware of what Dazai’s thinking or of what he wants. He pretends that he doesn’t notice, and he and Dazai walk into the carnival area together.

There a line of concession stands and a gallery of prize stands all around them. Families with small childrens, couples on dates, and friends are mingled around in the crowd. It’s easy to get separated if you’re not careful, and Oda finds himself reaching his hand out to hold onto Dazai’s so that neither gets lost in the crowd. From behind him, Oda can hear Dazai chuckle and Dazai tightens the grip so that neither of them are letting go.

After browsing around for about 15 minutes, walking and talking and seeing all the sights, it’s come to Oda’s attention that they haven’t done anything at the carnival yet. While both them are content with just observing and going through the carnival together, Oda wants to win something so that they could remember this moment. The prize stands look very promising. Although, Oda knows that Dazai isn’t much of a toy-lover. Not only that, most of the prizes are geared for children. However, Oda decides to do it anyway. If it looks like Dazai isn’t interested, Oda could always say that he wanted to win a toy for the children he’s taking care of. But maybe, he won’t have to use that excuse.

Dazai pauses in front of a particular prize stand that involves shooting at targets. Depending on which target you manage to hit, it corresponds to a tier of toys that you can choose from. There are moving targets and you get five tries to land a hit. Dazai has this signature smile on his face that looks like he’s up to something, but it’s also the kind of sweet of smile that only Oda gets to see. Oda realizes that Dazai wants to have a little challenge with him, and so he accepts. Armed with five, innocent rounds and plastic guns for them both, Oda and Dazai take their respective places. The rule of their challenge is simple: whoever hits and wins the highest tier toy is the victor.

Just before Oda gets a chance to aim, he notices that Dazai is standing very close to him. Close enough where Dazai could brush against Oda’s arm when he takes aim to nullify Flawless so that no cheating is involved in this little challenge. Oda glances down from the corner of his eye, and he isn’t surprised that Dazai is looking up at him with a grin that speaks more than what he’s letting on. With more seriousness and focus that’s probably required for a prize stand like this, Oda and Dazai take their five, consecutive shots.

The challenge ends with Oda as the victor, and Dazai dramatically laments that if he had been a second quicker or a second later, he could’ve won against Oda. Oda hides his smile behind the large teddy bear that he wins. He could see how vivid and alive Dazai’s body language is, and it looks Dazai might have a thing for prize stands. Perhaps they’ll tackle a few more before ending their date for the day. But before they do that, Oda gives Dazai the teddy bear. Dazai holds it as if he’s holding an unruly puppy or toddler. He jokes that if this is a pity gift, he’s not interested. Taking that into consideration, Oda takes back the teddy bear and presses a kiss on its nose. When he gives the teddy back to Dazai, he presses the bear’s nose against Dazai’s cheek.

For the rest of the date, Dazai clings to the teddy bear as if it’s his everything. Perhaps, this was a significant reason why Dazai lost in many of their prize stand challenges. But hey! – he gains sweet affections, so it’s a win-win.

36. Describe one example of comforting after a bad dayA typical bad day for Oda, in this alternative reality where’s alive and is a writer and loves Dazai, are those days where it’s hard to put the pen to paper. He has ideas and they’re there, but this is one of those days where he doesn’t trust himself. Oda doesn’t trust the words that he’ll be putting down. He wants to believe that what he’s writing is good enough, but he’s holding himself back. Are his ideas strange? Are they too out there? Would anyone be interested?

Although he wasn’t a stranger to these questions, the doubt they leave behind leaves a bitter taste in Oda’s mouth. Sitting back in his seat and glancing out the window, Oda can see the ocean and the gulls flying in the distance. He realizes that he’s been sitting by the window for about three hours now. He hasn’t written anything, but he’s thought of many things. He has a lot of ideas that peel back the veil of humanity’s disguise, ideas that have profounded him for a long time since he left the Port Mafia. Morality, ethics, the way of life, and moving on are core themes to his ideas. But translating them onto paper in such a way that seems inviting and personal eludes him still.

Setting his pencil down, Oda decides to call Dazai. It’s rare for him to call his lover, but Oda wants to hear someone else than his own thoughts right now. It takes three rings before Dazai picks up, and Oda suspects that Dazai is on a mission. There are a few clues on how he knows: the low panting he hears from the speaker, how Dazai sounds hushed and his voice is barely discernible from his breaths, and how Dazai calls him ‘Sakunosuke’ than ‘Odasaku’ at that moment. Oda has come to learn that when Dazai calls him by his given name, something serious has happened. Oda excuses himself and apologizes for calling at an inopportune moment. He hears a light chuckle from the other end of the line, and Dazai tells him it’s alright.

Judging by his tone, Oda suspects that an enemy had fallen right into one of Dazai’s traps and they’re struggling a bit more than what he’d like. A myriad of questions blossom from Oda’s mind, but he can ask Dazai later. Oda goes around the bushes for a little bit as he talks about the view of the ocean and of the gulls flying in the distance. He paints a very beautiful image for Dazai to imagine, and it seems to steady Dazai’s breathing. Enough, where Dazai and Oda could now carry a conversation as Dazai finished what he started. There’s a moment where Oda hears whimpering from an unknown individual – male, late 30s – and Oda pulls his phone away so that Dazai could do what he needed to do. After about a minute or two, he hears Dazai calling for him and Oda puts the phone back against his ear.

There seems to have been an outsider who had leaked information about the Armed Detective Agency and was stirring up trouble. Dazai has his suspicions on who could’ve sent the agent, but he’s waiting for the real enemy to their next move before he can safely deduce who it is. Oda listens quietly and ask if everyone at the ADA is okay. Dazai reassures that things are fine for now, but there’s no telling for how long this peace is going to last. There may be another war and Dazai uses a safeword that Oda recognizes. It’s a safeword that they both agreed on in case shit hit the fan, where Oda and his kids were to leave Yokohama and head towards a safe house that no one else knew about. Oda understands the severity of the situation now.

After a few moments, Dazai asks Oda why he called. It’s so rare for him to do so, and Dazai was simply curious. Oda says that it’s nothing important, but Dazai reassures him that it must be important if he decided to call. With a brief sigh, Oda talks about how he hasn’t written anything during the past few hours and that he fears that he may be way over his head with these story ideas. Dazai asks why he’s afraid. It takes a moment before Oda could respond. There’s a variety of reasons why he’s afraid, but he knows that Dazai is busy with an issue right now. Would it bother him if Oda talked about this?

Dazai isn’t bothered. If anything, he wants to share the weight of the burden so that Oda doesn’t feel like he’s carrying this on his own. Hearing that, Oda speaks. He speaks about his concerns, about the doubtful voices in his head, and how it’s been difficult to write lately. It feels like a weight is coming off his shoulders as Oda talks about this. After listening to everything, Dazai gives Oda a few words of advice.

“It’s second-nature to pinpoint time as a measure of productivity, but I think a more accurate measurement of productivity is seeing the results of what you’ve done instead. Three hours would’ve passed, regardless if you worked on your writing or not. However, even though you didn’t spend your time writing, you spent your time cultivating your ideas and fleshing them out to their fullest potential. You’re building your ideas from the ground up and you’re making your fictional world more believable with every second. That wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t do anything about it. Even though you didn’t write, it doesn’t make you any less at what you do.”

Dazai definitely has a way with his words, and Oda embeds those words into his heart as he thanks Dazai.

37. Describe one reunion after time apartThe most beautiful moment in his life was when Dazai saw Oda again. After months of not having seen each other because of missions and because the state of Yokohama was at risk, it felt so wonderful to see Oda again. It felt so wonderful to hold him in his arms again. Dazai is barely holding himself together when he sees Oda and the kids stepping off from the metro. All of their luggage, all of their toys, and the life they lived during the past few months are dragged behind them.

The kids are alive and safe. Oda looks worn and exhausted, probably wishing for a coffee or three before he spots Dazai. Dazai is coming down the stairs and when he reaches the terminal, the kids sprint from their spots and tackle him with hugs. It’s a frenzy of cuddles, and “I miss you” and “Did you beat the bad guys?” and “We’re okay!” Dazai crouches down and hugs each of the kids in a tight, longing way. His arms are quite sore when he’s done, unused to giving long hugs like that. However, Dazai still has some strength on him when he hugs Oda.

For a moment, it looks so one-sided. It looks like Dazai just collapsed against Oda’s chest and Oda is holding him together. Dazai isn’t one to cry. Very rarely does he allow himself to do so, and this is one of those moments where he sobs quietly against Oda’s heart and thanks every deity that exists that no one has died. When Dazai reaches for Oda, it’s in a painful, heart wrenching way. Oda loosens the embrace a little bit so that Dazai can breathe. He draws reassuring circles along the square of Dazai’s back, and whispers quietly that all of this is real.

He’s okay. The kids are okay. They’re all here now.

[swordsandparasols]

A lot of the Strongest Deliveryman commentary is primarily about how Jin Gyu is a tortured sympathetic woobie.  And, I mean, ok, I’m in the minority that prefers Kang Soo to Jin Gyu, but he’s a good character and any problems with him certainly don’t compare to some of the horrors I’ve seen fandom go gaga over.  I do think, however, that there are some interesting things going on with him that’s being lost in that.

 Foremost, and possibly most pertinent to the show, is that Jin Gyu is essentially a study of how there’s no such thing as benign privilege or entitlement.  Jin Gyu, when we meet him, is drowning in both, and only now has lost some of the former, but very little of the latter.  He’s almost devoid of actual malice (we only see some from him in episode 6 when he doesn’t want to free Kang Soo from prison, and even that isn’t near what we’d expect) but is consistently destructive.  The reason for this is that his response to problems is to throw money at them, with disastrous results.  Dan Ah saves his life and he tries to fix it with the promise of money, but because his hubris (and terrible father) catches up with him, he instead leaves her with a debt-mostly caused by his intentions of goodwill-that wipes out the majority of her savings.  

 When he learns that his “entertainment” resulted in a person not being able to receive medical attention in time and ending up in a coma, his reaction isn’t “oh wow I messed up I’m so sorry,” his response is “let me throw money at this so it will go away! My money isn’t making this go away? HOW DARE YOU PERSECUTE ME!”  Had he accepted moral and legal-not simply financial-responsibility when he learned of the result of his actions, things would have gone differently for him.  He would have been disowned by his father either way, but that’s more because his father is a nightmare more than anything else, but if he’d admitted his fault, he most likely would have gotten a slap on the wrist and a fine.  Instead, his refusal to admit fault after his initial exposure leads to a media circus focusing in his rich kid entitlement, he flees arrest, loses the two people who were almost his friends at that point, resists arrest, and ends up penniless, friendless, disowned, disgraced and in jail.  The one time his actions in the first 5 episodes actually had good results was when, instead of throwing his money around, he covered Dan Ah’s job for her when she was hospitalized partly because of him.

 He gets out of jail though someone else exerting a similar privilege and power that is family possesses, but has learned nothing from his experience, still believing himself to be faultless and the true victim of all the events to date.  He knows he wronged Dan Ah but can only see it from a financial standpoint, and truly doesn’t get why her new dislike for him has to do with more than the money she lost because of him, and tries to force her to accept his money, thinking that if she does, he’ll have fixed what he did wrong. Since he isn’t actually a terrible person, he knows he did wrong, but he doesn’t truly understand WHAT he did wrong, so he just assumes that if he throws money at his current problem (having let Dan Ah down) it will fix things and he’ll be redeemed.  It takes two attempts on his life, being confronted by a gang of deliverymen, being hated by literally everyone in his life except maybe the woman who effectively owns him, and a peptalk from a nice old lady for him to actually accept any moral responsibility for his actions and apologize for them.

  The fact that the show doesn’t sugarcoat any of this or play up the sympathy card for him seems to have had a lot of people thinking that he was going to be made a villain, but the idea that he would be a villain never would have occurred to me just from watching the show.  Because he’s also been consistently portrayed as kind and well intentioned, as well as being portrayed sympathetically.  It’s simply that no excuses are made for him.  He isn’t mean, he isn’t malicious, he’s never thrown his family’s wealth or influence around, but he’s also irresponsible and refuses to take responsibility for his actions, relying on money to fix his problems, and believing that he’s been horribly wrong if it doesn’t.  He’s a semi-antagonist who had to hit rockbottom and get a few wakeup calls so that he can redeem himself and slowly work towards redemption.  He’s slowly starting that particular journey, but he still has a long ways to go.  (In particular, that pedestal he keeps trying to put Dan Ah on has got to go.)

 The other front that I think is getting overlooked is also about Ji Yoon, and kdrama character types in general, and the writer of Strongest Deliveryman really likes to go against types. That’s why our male lead is the idealistic  and endlessly nice and forgiving earnest and hardworking poor boy who always forgives his love interest for snapping at him and always rushes forward with god intentions even if he doesn’t have much of a plan, while our female lead is the sarcastic, emotionally closed off and cynical martial artist (who regularly uses her skills, and not in the typical “tee hee isn’t her high kick cute?” way) who is hyper organized and has long term goals and plans.  In the 2000s, the majority of kdramas I watched were sageuks, but when I read about or watched other kdramas, there were certain trends I noticed. So very, very many chaebol sons and heirs as the main and secondary male leads.  If he was responsible and emotionally closed off, he was the lead, if he was less responsible and flirty, he was the secondary lead.  Either way, he was emotionally damaged in some way.  The heroine was often an earnest and hard working poor (or at least, not rich) girl who somehow got entangled with them and healed them with her virtue or some such.  This, IMO, is part of why it’s significant that Dan Ah and Jin Gyu aren’t romantically paired, because their relationship is deliberately antithetical to that trope, and Dan Ah has rightly called him out on trying to force him into it.  Over time, South Korean sentiment changed and it was reflected in kdramas.  Chaebol heir leads faded out a bit.  They’re still around ,but focus shifted from the melodramas of old and in recent years, they’re been more about the working and middle class, lawyers, the media, political corruption, etc.  They’re making a bit of a comeback lately, but recently, the default setting for chaebol sons has been the worthless rich boy who had everything handed to him but is a fairly worthless human being who throws his weight and money around and thinks he’s better than anyone.  Jin Gyu is interesting as a partial combination of the two.  He’s “worthless” in that he has no apparent skills and seems to have been content to spend his life blowing his allowance on cool things but never actual working or making an effort to do something for himself, but he’s also justifiably emotionally damaged.  He throws his money around like it will fix everything and doesn’t think he should be held accountable for his actions, but he lacks the malice the most of his contemporary compatriots have.  He’s partially a deconstruction of one version of the chaebol son, and partially a critique of the other.

 Then there was The Rich Girl.  Hoo boy. While the traditional kdrama love square has never gone away, it’s become considerably more nuanced and varied in recent years.  The love square used to be :#1 probably lower income, virtuous and plucky heroine, #2 most-likely-rich-guy  A WITH ANGST, #3 most-likely-rich-guy B WITH ANGST (but with less money and angst than Rich Guy A), and #4 the bitchy and selfish rich girl.  The bitchy and selfish rich girl usually had A History with Rich Guy A, and would relentlessly chase him throughout the drama no matter how little kindness or attention he paid her, feeling completely entitled to him and convinced that he either loved her and wouldn’t admit it, or WOUld love her if that pesky heroine wasn’t around.  Sometimes she was rich because she was a successful careerwoman, or an athlete or model or some such, but just as often, she was just a spoiled girl who liked being born with a silver spoon in her mouth.  She usually had few, if any, redeeming qualities.  (You might be getting an idea of why it took me a while to widely venture outside of sageuks, given how many popular and easy-to-find-subbed dramas either fell into this formula one way or the other, or ended with everyone dead-and if everyone is dying in my show, there are going to be swords and rebellions and political wars involved.)  If the female lead was a rich girl, she probably needed to be humanized and brought down a few pegs by a less-rich male lead.  There was also frequently what I call, The Gift Bag Scene. In The Gift Bag Scene, the male lead has bought the female lead a gift and it’s on a table or somewhere else very visible.  The rich girl comes in and immediately sees the gift bag and assumes it’s for her for no apparent reason other than that it’s there, so obviously the male lead bought it for her as an apology for his behavior (usually just…not being interested in dating her) and won’t let him get a word in edgewise before she takes off with it.

 Then we have Ji Yoon. The Rich Girl-both protagonist and antagonist-has taken on more varied forms in recent years than the chaebol sons-and otherwise rich guys- and female secondary leads have thankfully become considerably more nuanced and sympathetic in recent years. On the surface, Ji Yoon appears to have many of the qualities of the Rich Girl, but…she isn’t. She’s entitled, hangs all over Kang Soo, has her own version of The Gift Bag Scene, and was obviously pretty spoiled growing up.  However, she’s also kind is determined to go her on way by choice and not by force, and has reasons for the things she does.  Unlike Jin Gyu, Ji Yoon chose to leave her family.  And unlike Jin Gyu, she knows she can go back home if she’s willing to put up with a few “I told you so”-s from her mother.  She set out on her own, failed miserably at it, and is giving it a second go. She hasn’t really learned much about her own entitlement and privilege yet, but she actually chose to go this route herself.  Jin Gyu doesn’t give up because he can’t, Ji Yoon can give up but doesn’t.  She’s aware that her actions seem foolish, but she wants to try to make a living and provide for herself instead of relying on handouts from her parents. She thinks Kang Soo has feelings for her because he’s endlessly nice and tolerant of her antics.  Even when he’s visibly annoyed, he still goes out on a limb for her.  He literally found her starving on the street and gave her food and shelter.  We may find her antics annoying, but we’re given reasons for her actions.  We the audience know that Kang Soo views her as an irritating younger sister, but we don’t have to take illogical leaps to see why she thinks otherwise.  Ji Yoon even has her own version of The Gift Bag Scene, one that seems to be a direct callout to the older version.  In her version, Kang Soo did not actually wrong her, but he was inconsiderate to a degree, and the bag wasn’t a gift to someone else, but a gift given to him as a result of a subplot that’s one of the show’s truly weak points.  Unlike the Rich Girls of the past, Ji Yoon seems to be perfectly aware that the bag isn’t for her, she’s just milking Kang Soo’s guilt for all it’s worth, and even directly calls out the trope, coyly challenging her to tell him that it isn’t really a gift for her.  (Kang Soo’s downfall: strong willed women who are well aware that he’s a sweet pushover.)

 All the above is why the scene in episode 6 where Jin Gyu and Ji Yoon are selling off her designer bags because she has to move to a more expensive apartment and end up making less than half of what she originally expected to make.  The scene is played for laughs because they were both drowning in rich people guilt, but they’ve both come a fair bit from where they started just by having that guilt.  Jin Gyu at the beginning probably would have given the bags away, but not because the sob stories made him realize how much better he still had it, but because he couldn’t be bothered and didn’t need the money or want the annoyance.  Ji Yoon is still a mercenary little thing, but she was a more hardcore mercenary little thing at the beginning, with little concept or interest in money beyond how it benefited her.  This is the girl who, barely having escaped homelessness and starvation, threw her lunch at a guy for annoying her, but also snuck back into her parent’s house to get all her nice things once she had someone else’s roof over her head.  

 As characters, Jin Gyu and Ji Yoon are both headed to roughly the same place.  Ji Yoon is going there a bit faster because she deliberately put herself on the path, even if she hasn’t learned as the moral or realistic economic implications of the path, but she also has the security of going home if she decides to leave it.  Jin Gyu has a slower and harsher journey down that path because he was literally forced on it, but will probably end up more committed to it because he doesn’t have that out.  Both have recognizable roots in the rich leads of the past, but have come a long, long way from those roots.

[easkyrah]

I went through your history of science and other observations, and a question came upon me. You read both classics, essays, and YA novels from historical figures to mythological ones (or so I assume?). Anyways, what's one part of modern writing that you don't like today?

Rant time!

The Decline of the English Language

I immediately thought of George Orwell’s Politics and the English Language. It’s an informal, beautiful essay of the English language’s deterioration. (On another note, thank you for noticing that I don’t prefer a specific type of literature. Too many adults assume that because I love the YA genre also means that I cannot immerse myself in other works. Oh you read Harry Potter? Bet you’ve never picked up the Grapes of Wrath. False!)

Too many writers write to appease what their readers believe and want to hear, rather than what they feel and agree with. Sure, a writer says she’ll write angst even though her readers won’t like it, but she’ll write the angst in a way that the details appeases her audience. 

Too many writers today, based on my observations, revert to old language filled with “sentimental archaism”. For example, the “dimly-lit candles dripping with hot, thick wax” take preference over “the electric light glared over the droning of the air conditioner’s roar”. Writers prefer the “rustling carriage” over the “aeroplane”, the “beautiful, ruby-red mouth” to the “chapped, peeling lips”. We allow our originality in words to be swept away into a dump along with others. 

It’s not just our descriptions that decay, but aspects of literature long ingrained, as noted by Orwell:

“Dying Metaphors”: a metaphor that no longer evokes a visual image and seen as ordinary word(s); in other cases, the true meaning dissipates, utilized inaccurately in commonplaces; “incompatible metaphors are frequently mixed, a sure sign that the writer is not interested in what he is saying” 

eg: “Achilles’ heel”, “hotbed”, “stand shoulder to shoulder with”, “axe to grind”, “play into the hands of”

take the fourth example: most imagine an axe and a grinder, the wrong imagery this metaphor is supposed to elicit. When a writing includes the sentence “he had an axe to grind”, we do not think of the personal vendetta or the associations of vengeance with it. 

eg: “the hammer and the anvil” metaphor is used with the “implication that the anvil gets the worst of it [when] in real life it always the anvil breaks the hammer, never the other way around”

“Operators or Verbal False Limbs”: apt verbs and nouns are padded with “extra syllables [to] give an appearance of symmetry; a verb or noun becomes a phrase; the passive voice is used over the active; gerunds are used instead of “noun constructions” 

eg: in essays, pollutions in words occur such as “exhibit a tendency to” instead of “show” or “on the hypothesis that” instead of “because”

eg: say a person looked up to the sky and recounts the sight today—most writers would have something along the lines of “a cluster of clouds filled with the crushed hope of many desires, raining down the soured, reflective tears” (aka something I would write, and wrote) instead of “darkened clouds ran parallel with his crumbling dreams”; yes, the first one sounds more pleasing, but finds itself unnecessary and without true purpose

phrases that are full of murkiness, such as, “deserving of serious consideration”, are often used in court cases and in daily life as euphemisms; these unclear words offer respite to the person who deserved the “consideration” and offer the person’s ambiguity rather than decisiveness; if you want the murderer of your wife sentenced to jail, then state it— don’t meander around poetic words of “my heart has been shattered by the fatal blow against my true love’s own beating heart; since hers has ceased, so has my will to live unless justice can be wrought” (yes that was an exaggeration, but do you see my point?)

rather than use the words that first conjure up in most minds, which the audience can most connect with, most search for alternatives of words that have the same definition, but different shaped word (this flaw strips away the uniqueness of what you created originally, for starters)

too many shape their writing into the how the syllables sound rather than focusing on the meaning behind the words; this often has the words scrapped together to form jargon

“Pretentious diction”: words dressed up from their simple statements to “give an air of scientific impartiality to biased judgements” (already, a paradox forms); foreign words are utilized “to give n air of culture and elegance”

if there’s one thing I most notice within fanfiction writing, it is that there’s a clash of simple diction with the few spurts of eloquent, high-level words, or those simply used in the past, which also contrasts with the time frame

“except for the useful abbreviations i.e., e.g., and etc., there is no real need for any of the hundreds of foreign phrases no current in English”

“bad writers, and especially scientific, political, and sociological writers, are nearly haunted by the notion that Latin or Greek words are grander than Saxon ones…”

usually, I don’t pay attention to grammar or spelling when reading fanfics, because those can be easily fixed. I pay attention to how writers describe scenes. 

a hyperbole: “the kiss struck her like a thousand bolts of lightening so that she could have soared across the starry sky”. Seriously, if she were struck by a thousand bolts of lightning, I’m pretty sure she would have died and the male would have ran off screaming his head. We tend to exaggerate scenes to draw attention. Instead of “her first kiss was slow, but simple”, writers feel the need to mention every type of burning emotion. When most are first kissed, I’m not sure if they focus on how they’re feeling over the act occurring. 

Of course, there are those few moments that are pivotal in a story, and the beautifully written description is needed. However—

“adjectives like epoch-making, epic, historic, unforgettable, triumphant, ages-old, inevitable, inexorable, veritable, are used to dignify the sordid processes of international politics, while writing that aims at glorifying war takes on an archai color, its characteristic words being: realm, throne, chariot, mailed fist, trident, sword, buckler, banner, jackboot, clarion.”

Meaningless Words: aka when you come across a long passage with distorted images and blurred meanings that makes you want to bash your head against a wall while thinking to yourself: just get to the point already!

“words like romantic, plastic, values, human, dead, sentimental, natural, vitality, as used in art criticism, are strictly meaningless, in the sense that they no only do not point to any discoverable object, but are hardly ever expected to do so by the reader”

eg: the word “fascism” merely means the opposite of democracy and “something undesirable” in today’s society

This decline appears not simply because of bad influence or the individual writer’s style, according to Orwell. The main reasons arises from the rise of politics, a prevalent facet in US society. But that’s another story I won’t delve into. 

The fads of hollywood and models become the society’s obsession: What dress did she wear (how dare she reveal her political opinion within that dress!) Who broke up with who (no way he used her for the business!)…so on and so forth. TV shows display college life with sororities, fraternities, drinking, gambling, breakups, and athletics, rather than stressed out college students living off of coffee past midnight, scouring for internships and jobs to attempt to pay off loans and bolster their application, and research based projects outlined with groundbreaking technologies.

Society becomes doused with fantasies, lined with unrealistic expectations.  Writing becomes “ugly and inaccurate because our thoughts are foolish, but the slovenliness of our language makes it easier for us to have foolish thoughts.” It’s a two-way street, one we seemed to be locked in without the thought of desiring to escape. In other words, we do not rely on our instincts when we write. We prefer other’s examples and replicate them. We like how other words sound and choose archaism over simplicity. We don’t chose our own writing.