#is not a thought that makes me boil in anger anymore (ofc it still does sometimes just not every time)

[palms-upturned]

.

[cotccotc]

SKZ REACT to...

 ◈ you being followed

part of my eight as fate event !! ( requested by anon​ ♡ )

genre/s: comfort, skz x gn reader

warning/s: description of being followed on the street, descriptions / mentions of panic attacks

wc: 1.8k

a/n: this one took me quite a while but i’m happy with it !!! i decided to write out a longer introduction to this to kinda set up a scene !! i hope y’all enjoy it (esp the comforting parts ofc kdjdjf)

it’s somewhat unlike you to walk alone at night. you figured it would only take you a few minutes, but you got out of work late, setting you back quite a while. to make things worse, while you were working overtime, the sun had set, leaving you to traverse the dimly lit city streets on your own. all you know is that your boyfriend left the door open for you, and a couch date sounds really great right now.

somewhere along your walk, you heard a shuffling noise coming from behind you. you disregarded it, thinking it may have been simple paranoia. you’ve seen too many movies, you think. however, as you keep up your leisurely yet steady pace, you hear another noise. this time you turn around.

a man. in a black hoodie. looking you dead in the eye.

your eyes widen as a small gasp leaves your mouth. needless to say, you begin sprinting to your destination, heart racing at a pace that rivals the speed of your feet. with your focus aimed at getting as far away as you can, you’re honestly not even sure how your legs know where they’re going. nevertheless, your saving grace comes into view. after a quick glance at the now empty street behind you, you sprint even faster than before. and, once you make it to the apartment door, you fling the door open and leap inside with enough force to rattle the hinges.

“y/n? what’s wro-”

“i was being followed,” you interject, a choked sob finally escaping you.

◈ CHAN

his first instinct, no matter what, is to make sure you feel safer now.

he’ll sit you down on the couch, staying close beside you and rubbing your back while reiterating that whoever that man was is gone now.

i’ve always liked to think he’d be good to have around in the event of a panic attack. especially if you’re the type of person who needs physical and verbal reassurance. back rubs, hugging, and breathing reminders galore.

once you’ve calmed down, he would wipe away your tears and hold you close to him as he asks you about the rest of your day.

he’s an amazing listener and he can’t wait to hear about the latest employee or customer gossip lmao

but more importantly, it would take your mind off things, which is all he truly wants.

if you start looking a bit gloomy or drifting off in thought, he’d probably suggest some cuddle time !! he would make sure to remind you of how courageous you were in that moment before promising you one last time that you’re safer now, here with him.

you’d finally fall asleep in his arms, filling him with relief.

◈ MINHO

first reaction: absolutely pissed.

not at you of course, but at the guy who was following you. with you still in his arms, he glances pointedly out the front door and the windows, closing the blinds after giving the entire apartment a once-over.you end up in the bedroom, in which he’ll guide you to sit beside him on the bed.

his expression will have completely changed from anger to loving concern. he’d look deeply into your eyes while holding both your hands in his, assuring you that you’re safe now.while you continue to cry, you explain what had happened in more detail. he strokes your hair as you speak and nods along, blood boiling.

he can’t stand the thought of any person making you feel unsafe. but, he’d maintain a calm exterior in order to make you feel more at ease.

once you describe the whole situation, he’d reassure you once again that the man can’t get to you now.

“he’ll have to get through me.”

you giggle.

“hEY”

◈ CHANGBIN

i think he’d have a similar reaction to minho !!

very visibly pissed that some random guy had the nerve to intimidate you. that dude’s lucky he didn’t follow you the whole way home or else he’d probably be pretty uh. damaged. by now..

he’d sit you down on the couch, do a quick check-in at each of the windows and doors, and come back as soon as he can to console you.

when he does, he’s quick to sit beside you, arm wrapped around you with the other wiping the tears off of your face.

after you explain the situation a bit more clearly, he becomes even more angry (probably mutters some curses under his breath)

but !!!! i think he’d really try his best to focus on cheering you up

asking you what you’d like to do for the rest of the night, if you’d like any food, if you’d like to sleep or stay up for a while.. etc.

plus he’d amp up the silly antics to make you forget about things !!

◈ HYUNJIN

i think his physical reaction would become similar to yours. very quickly.

like once he sees your tears and senses your quickened pulse. his immediate response (whether voluntary or not) would be to emulate you.

so, naturally, he’d hold you in his arms and let you cry it out, while small sobs of his own escape him.

seeing you so scared is a scary feeling.

of course, he’d reassure you that you’re safe !!! he’d look into your eyes, tucking your hair behind your ears, and tell you that it’s all over now and that you’re safe.

you, of course, don’t want him to feel sad or scared, so you’d console him as well.

you two would comfort each other the whole rest of the night. i think the most probable option would be the two of you cuddled up in bed watching a movie or reading webtoons together

distraction !! but make it a drama !! or a romcom because .. vibes !!

and when you decide it’s time for bed (however late that may be due to the stress from earlier) he’d be sure to remind you that he’ll be with you all night & when you wake up

(but he’s also secretly clinging onto you out of fear as well kdjfgj)

◈ JISUNG

“oh sh- oh sHIT-”

wouldn’t know what in the fuck to do

would haphazardly check all the windows like minho did, holding your hand as you continue to cry

after he’s done, he’d cling to you and hold you SO very tight <3

lots of “shh shh baby.. baby shhhh” and all that jazz.. you know the sungie vibes…

he’d stroke your hair and arms, noticing your slight shakiness and suggesting you both cuddle for some extra comfort and warmth

no matter what time of night it is, he’d turn off the lights and cuddle with you as you describe the event in more detail

quiet & calm

even if you end up crying again while you speak, he’s there to brush the tears off your face with his thumb and help you calm down again

◈ FELIX

before you came, he might have cooked a small meal for the two of you to share. even though you worked late, it’d still be waiting for you when you arrive. he’d wait too.

when you do happen to burst through the door, he’d jump and gasp out of fear but he’s quick to run up to you and hold you as you let out everything you’d held in during your walk-turned-chase

also !! will help you get settled in as you describe what went down

helping you take off your coat and shoes, getting water for you, grabbing some blankets; all while listening intently and giving you all of his attention

once you’re seated on the couch, wrapped in the softest blanket he could find and staying hydrated after such a harrowing event, he’d be sure to hold you as close as possible to remind you that everything’s okay

eventually, through his subtle gestures and calming demeanor, you won’t even realize how you got situated !! he just knows what to do to make you as comfortable as possible without even trying all that hard

you may choose to skip dinner, but no matter what, he’ll be holding you close the whole night through to make sure you know he’s there to protect and care for you

◈ SEUNGMIN

he’s very methodical about how to proceed. his first instinct is to do what some of the others would and check the house, but he decides to help you calm down first.

you’re rambling about what happened in between sobs and quick breaths, which sends a pain through his heart as he shuts and locks the door.

if you’re shorter than him, he’d bend a little to make direct eye contact with you. he’ll rub your arms and tell you that you don’t have to be afraid anymore

the most calming and reassuring voice in the whole world omg !!!!!!

he’d wipe your tears away and cup your face with both of his hands, prompting you to look back into his eyes before smiling at you

“you’re safe now, right?”

you smile back at him, nodding.

“now, let’s lock all the doors so no bad guys can get in!”

then, he’d take your hand and let you help him lock the doors and shut the curtains, making it feel like a chore instead of a precaution

and for your “good work”, he’d reward you with some binge watching & cuddle time !!! (as if that wasn’t the original plan skjdfg)

◈ JEONGIN

(under his breath, eyes wide) “oh my god…”

i think he’d start freaking out a bit like hyunjin did, but he’d do his very best to hide it. he knows he has to be strong to help you calm down and feel safe.

like felix, he’d help you take off your coat and shoes, leading you over to the couch as you shakily describe what happened.

(i’m sorry i keep making comparisons to the other members bUT) like minho, he’d hold your hands in his, rubbing them softly with his thumbs to soothe your nerves as you let everything out

he’d try to cheer you up by suggesting alternative motives the man might’ve had instead of wanting to harm you

for instance:

jeongin: “what if he was lost and needed directions but he was too shy to ask because you’re so pretty/handsome?”

you: “babe i don’t think-”

jeongin: “OR what if he thought he knew you !!”

you: “but he-”

jeongin: “WHAT IF IT WAS BATMAN-”

overall, his aim is to distract you (as well as himself), which ends in success. you’ll both be in stitches by the end of the night

and… laughing is super tiring, right?

therefore, as reiterated throughout all of these reactions because we all know it’s true:

CUDDLESSSS

oh also.. right before you fall asleep in his arms, he’d ask if you want to leave the light on during the night :( bc he’s a cutie :((((

tags: @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17​, @leggomylino, @freckledberries, @kisskissbanggang, @mr-jisung-main, @childofthecosmos, @kpopscape, @skzwriternet, @hyunsins, @sleepylixie, @sunshine-skz, @vera-liscious, @thatrandomoneinthecorner, @cyberskz​, @seungminsaidsta, @somethingrandomworld, @ethan806 ( join my tag list !! )

©️ cotccotc 2021 ~ all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[spoopyredacted]

unheavenly creatures

chapter six

clan leader mand’alor!din x shayr’la(ofc) 1.1k

description: angst 😬 sorry?

a/n: @tiffdawg is my lifesaver. @colesterstrudel lets me send her angst and then she yells at me about it.

masterlist / pinterest / ao3

chapter one / chapter five

———

Why does it hurt?

Because you love her.

———

A soft knock reverberates through the room and Shayr’la doesn’t know if she has the strength to answer it. Luckily she doesn’t have to wait long before the Mand’alor enters the room, helmet tilted in worry. 

The crackle of the vocoder warns her before he speaks. “Cyare, are you alright?” 

She looks up to him but can’t answer, can’t voice what the message has said. Her throat is tight and voice is broken. She feels tears welling up again in her eyes as her gaze dances across helmet. Unable to voice what was said in the message, she presses play instead and lets the blue image deliver the blow.

She turns away when the coughing starts. Attempting to block out the noise as dread wells up inside her.

He’s stoic as the message plays and remains that way until after it ends.

Long shadows stretch across the floor as the sun sets and Shayr’la can’t drag her eyes away from watching them slowly grow in length. Not wanting to break the silence. Not afraid of him per say, but afraid of how he could change her mind.

Make her stay.

With him.

The silence is finally broken with a question. And then a tirade. 

“How— how can they ask for you?”

“They left you here.”

“And now they feel bad and they reach out to you. They just want your sympathy, love.”

“Ka’ra, they don’t deserve it.” 

“They don’t deserve your kindness and they don’t deserve you.”

The Mand’alor stops, realizing he has been rambling and letting his anger get to him. But he can feel the pent up frustration begin to boil and he knows if he does not get control over himself soon he will say something he regrets.

How could they ask this of her?  

It’s unfair.  

Shayr’la hasn’t said a word the entire time. The Mand’alor finally looks back to where she sits. Her eyes are bloodshot and rimmed red. She wipes at her cheeks, brushing away the tears that have fallen. 

Taking a deep breath he asks, “Do you want to go?” 

The whispered question hits her in the gut, filling her with dread. She doesn’t want to look up. Can’t. She doesn’t want to face the way heartache washes over him. To see the melancholy set in his shoulders. So she keeps her eyes cast down, focusing on her hands, twisting together in worry and anguish. 

And soon to be regret.

The Mand’alor stands before her, awaiting her decision and hoping that she will refuse them. That she will want to stay here. Stay here with him. That she will say they don’t have that kind of hold on her anymore. 

But the silence almost kills him. 

A step closer. 

He reaches out to her, tilting her head up to face him. His hand engulfs the entire side of her face and he thumbs at her bottom lip, gently prying it from the clutches of her teeth.

“Ka’ra, answer me.”

She stares into the tinted visor that is always somehow mocking her, showing her her own reflection and never the face she wants to see. She can never see, she knows this. And yet it still hurts when she catches herself longing to know the shape of his brow, or the curve of his nose and the plushness of his lips. She wants to trace over the dusting of facial hair she just knows he keeps, and she desperately wants to drag her nails along his scalp, figuring out all the noises he would make as she digs in. 

But she can’t. She can’t.

He tilts her head more, not allowing her to turn away, she knows he wants an answer and he won’t let her go without one. 

She knows the answer, it’s right on the tip of her tongue. But if she says it.

If she says it.

“Yes—” Shayr’la takes a shuddering inhale and looks up, unknowingly making direct eye contact, “Yes, I have to go back.”

His heart shatters.

Feels it clench and drop right to the floor.

He can’t breathe. He can’t think.

“You… you want to go back?” The barely there question lingers between them. Like something heavy and old, and now immovable.

Like something they both thought they were over.

The Mand’alor drops his hand from her face and takes a step back, turning from her. 

Turning from his wife.

“Okay.” The broken whisper of his voice breaks into her heart and crawls its way inside, burrowing deep. “If that is what you wish.” 

His back straightens and becomes rigid and as he acknowledges her answer… her choice, her choice, he wants to shut down and retreat.

But he won’t let himself. Not yet.

He’ll save that for later in the safety of his room. 

Will she come back?

He wants her to. 

But then he gets scared. And he gets mad. Rage filling his mind, slowly letting it consume him. He knows he needs to leave, he needs to walk out the room and not look back before his mouth says something it doesn’t mean.

“But tell me Ka’ra, answer me this, do you really wish to go back? Back to your Elders? Or are you letting them guilt you into going back?” There's a bite to his words— in his voice— he doesn’t know how to control it.

Stop.

“Because of some sort of honor that you feel towards them?” 

Stop before it’s too late. Before you hurt her.

“Because you feel like you owe them your time? Your attention. You don’t owe them anything, they don’t care for you, they never cared for you.”

There it is.

“Not like we do.”

“Not like I do.”

The sentence is out of his mouth before he even realizes it. Spit out through clenched teeth and cracked lips. Mixed with anger and passion and yearning.

I love you.

The thought surprises him. And yet it doesn’t at the same time. But the words get caught in his throat. In his chest. On the way up to his lips yet they never part to let them free. 

Shayr’la whispers, “You don’t mean that.”

“Do not presume to know how I feel Ka’ra,” The Mand’alor snaps at her. His outburst caught her off guard.

He's in front of her now, lost pacing in the left over fury of his emotions. A heavy rasp crackles through his helmet as he catches his breath and attempts to quell his anger.

Tension and unspoken words lay heavy between them. Of things left unsaid. And will remain unsaid. 

“I said you may go. So please—” 

A gloved hand comes into view; soft and broken in. 

Trembling.

It comes close. So close. 

Like a reflection of themselves.

An almost. 

But it doesn’t finish. He doesn’t commit and she doesn’t meet him; The both of them not allowing themselves to transpire. A moment happens, something fragile, delicate, cracked, before it could even begin. 

“—please, love...”

A tear falls. 

“Go.”

[weasleypogues]

fight club (p.h.)

request: hii can i request smth angsty with pope ? maybe it could end well for both the reader and him but overall it’s just filled with angst and slow burn and tension ? ty xx

ofc lovieee!!! loving this pope recognition finally!! :)

this will be a two part becuause this was longer than i expected!!! part 2 here!!!

masterlist.

you literally felt like you could not sit still. anger was pulsating through your veins as you paced back and forth on the porch of the chateau. you also felt the piercing eyes of pope follow you back and forth as you struggled to form a cohesive sentence.

“it’s just- ugh! she can’t get away with this! she thinks because she’s a kook that i’ll be begging for her forigveness and shit like i’m a starving peasant just to save my reputation! i’m a fucking pogue, i don’t have a reputation to uphold!” you spat as your hands clenched together so hard you swear you were going to accidentally draw blood from your palms.

vanessa was a kook that you never had problems with when you were kids because you two had a friendship that was secretive and playful because of opposing groups. it wasn’t until middle school was when she ditched you, similar to kie and sarah’s relationship. thankfully for them, they sorted it out. however, vanessa was bitter and bitchy every chance she could get. 

“yes (y/n)! keep it fiesty! i wanna see you win a good cat fight.” jj egged you on.

“you’re gonna make yourself go crazy if you don’t just sit down.” pope spoke in a sterner tone than you would have expected. but as the rage filled you from vanessa, pope’s tone was not helping. you felt a tinge of hurt in your chest as he expressed his clear stress and annoyance with you. but you weren’t going to let it go that easily; not in this state.

“i’m fine just the way i am, thanks.” you responded just as passive-aggressively as he did. you literally had to restrain yourself from rolling your eyes so you wouldn’t egg this on, because the last thing you needed was for pope of all people to be on your bad side. 

you heard him scoff from behind you and his footsteps faded away. you spun around so quickly, maybe even too quickly to play it cool, to just see a flash of him as he turned the corner. your eyes flashed to john b, kie, and jj who had expressions that were just as shocked as your own.

“what’s his problem?” you asked, expecting an answer real quick before you had to go investigate it yourself. your teeth grinded against each other and you felt your face and ears go hot. 

“he probably just doesn’t think this is worth it (y/n/n).” kiara stated, trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and giving you a look that said don’t let it get to you. kiara shared a quick glance with john b and jj, which definitely did not go unnoticed by you.

“w-what was that? that little look you three shared?” you asked pointing your finger at them interchangeably and confused but angrily eager to find out. you raised your eyebrows, expecting another speedy answer as you finally turned towards jj who held his hands up in defense and bit his tongue. 

“cut pope some slack. you’ve been looking for trouble lately (y/n), it’s been keeping him on edge each time.” john b responded and slapped his hands on this thighs before getting up off the couch. you felt your cheeks get a little hot and your jaw drop slightly.

pope was trying to be protective of you. this was not a secret that you and pope were always flirty with each other but neither of you ever acted on it. both keeping the same sad mindset, if they wanted to, they would. everytime you talked about this with kiara and sarah at a girls’ night, they playfully judged you for thinking like that and tried to encourage you to just go for it. 

you took a deep inhale and relaxed your shoulders and face, feeling the tension ease up on your body. “she’s asking for it...look i don’t want to make pope upset or anything but vanessa can’t keep pulling this shit. she’s asking for her teeth to get knocked in.” you huffed out as you grabbed your backpack and phone to hop on your bike and head home. 

--

your grabbed your phone and backpack as you headed back outside to your bike. you didn’t even bother to text the rest of the group about catching a ride to tonights kegger because you were just a little fired up from earlier. they were your friends and if this were any other case, they would be backing you up. why is this time any different?

you’re recalling yourself getting ready. stud earrings because she can grab hold of hoops. your hair in two braids because there was less surface area for her to snatch onto. sneakers to make a run for it in case shit gets bad. 

what the rest of them don’t understand is that not only was vanessa mean, spoiled, and made your existence on the obx difficult, was that you had a bumpy past with her. more than just losing a friend. she made up a rumor based on fake ideas that she overheard her parents talking about. when she would run into you on the street with her other kook friends at the ripe age of 13, she would be a bystander as they spat insults your way. that always caused a strain in your friendship. 

until one day, she started the picking on first. she judged you on your family’s financial situation and said quote-by-quote “i heard her mom cheats on her dad with all of her little pogue friend’s dads. who knows, they could actually be related and we wouldn’t know. she’s a whore and i’m sure she’ll end up just like her.” tears still brim your eyes at that memory. you wouldn’t dare tell the rest of the pogues, whether it was out of embarassment or fear. it was best for them and their own minds that it was never brought up again. since then, it seems like constant torture from her. 

you pulled up on the beach and hopped off your bike as your tires were definitely not made for the sand. you laid it on a tree and made a b-line to the keg that john b was basically guarding. “thought we’d hear from you.” you heard kiara state as she sat on the sand and glanced up at you, squinting her eyes to keep the remaining sun from basically burning them.

“yeah well, just got a lot on my mind.” you responded. you didn’t want to be so abrupt with them but your blood was basically boiling with the idea of vanessa. john b stared between you and kiara and handed you a full red solo cup which you gladly took, taking a gulp.

“soooo...” jj started, throwing an arm around your shoulder, “cat fight tonight?” you felt a chuckle rise out of you as you playfully rolled your eyes.

“if you’re lucky enough, maybe you’ll get front row.” you joked, sending a smirk jj’s way and taking another gulp. you felt a presence behind you and turned to be faced with pope. his facial expression had clearly changed from what you saw from him last time. he looked almost guilty and concerned rather than aggravated. 

“come to snap at me again?” you said, turning towards the horizon on the water. looking into his eyes right now was difficult. maybe because it was the idea that you knew some part of you wanted to snap at him for him snapping at you earlier but you couldn’t make another enemy. not tonight. 

“about that...can i actually talk to you for a minute?” pope muttered, instincitvely cracking his knuckles, clearly scared to tread on water. you felt your shoulders relax and your facial muscles follow suit. placing your drink and backpack on the ground you followed a few paces behind him, closer to the sand where the tide was rolling in. although he didn’t stop, he wanted this to be a walk and talk situation. 

you strolled beside him, both of your hands slightly brushing against each other every now and then. while neither of you took initiative to grab the others’ hand, neither of you pulled your hands out of that pathway either. that connection and touch felt nice. it was reassuring that his snappiness, along with your own, was out of love and protection of each other. 

“you won’t be happy with what i’m about to say...” pope started, basically holding his breath.

“so why say it, pope? i know it sounds bad to say outloud but, why not just let me fight her? she has made my existence so unbearably difficult on this island and has slandered my name and countless others of those i love too much and for too long. i’m sick of being a pushover and letting her get away with it because of mommy and daddy’s money. im done!” you blurted out, letting more info out than you expected. “why does it bother you so much? if this was topper and john b going at it, or rafe and jj? which keep in mind, both have actually happened, i’m sure you would be more hesitant to stop them.”

your strolling came to a sudden halt as pope took a step directly in front of you, face to face. he looked longingly into your eyes, somewhat darting back and forth between your own eyes to search for an answer to his questions or even an answer to yours. 

“(y/n)! i can’t see you get hurt. i know how badly you want to do this and how much it means to you but in the end, what is it going to get you? an even worse reputation among kooks, bloody nose, and a black eye? is it worth it?” pope rambled drasticaly. 

“it is worth it! and i’m so thankful that you care about me and my well being and everything in between but this is something that i have to do. once and for all. i’m not putting myself and everyone i love through this torture anymore. and if that means beating the shit out of her and getting a bloody lip and battered up on the way, than so be it!” you responded, using your hands quite animatedly throughout the performance. the waves seemed like the loudest thing on earth as you awaited an answer from pope. he looked defeated and anxious, knowing that there was no getting through to you for this. 

“i-” pope started before cutting himself off, looking deafeated yet again. he ran his hands over his face in frustration and as he let his eyes shine over the tips of his fingers, they locked with yours. you felt stuck in place and in a trance for a split second before you felt a pair of hands on your waist and soon enough, you were lip locked with pope. 

instantly you pulled away, your heart feeling full and your legs feeling limp. your hands made their way to his jawline, slightly caressing his cheeks and neck as you pulled him back into the kiss, elongating it. 

he pulled away, shocked yet proud with himself. you could not help the small smile that made it’s way onto your face as your cheeks felt hot immediately. “i can’t believe i’m saying this but...fuck it. beat the shit out of vanessa.” 

the small smile grew as a laugh escaped your lips. you were quick to grab his hand as you both made your way back towards the kegger that was becoming a little more dense as the minutes passed. sarah, kiara, jj, and john b’s eyes were quick to fall on your interlocked hands with pope. both of you kept quiet, playing it nonchalantly. but you couldn’t help but notice pope’s look to john b and jj, all with smirks lined up on their faces.

part two out later!! :) 

[clvmtines]

welcome aboard, clementine martinez, student #2. we are excited to set sail with you !  has anyone told you that you look like alexa demie? according to our records, you hail from florida, usa, prefer she / her pronouns, are a cis woman, and are here to study creative writing. we also see you received a spot on the ss university because of your online lottery win — we won’t tell anyone. during your first few weeks here, other students said you were + charming, + free-spirited, but also - restive. it sounds like you spend most of your time at the billiards room. upon checking your luggage, we noticed you packed a casino chip carried around for luck from home. hopefully your roommates don’t steal it!

hi friends! i’m very excited to be here. i’m jay (est, she/her) n i used to play astrid nyland a few months ago if anyone remembers bt i had to leave for personal reasons. i’m so glad to be back now that i hve life sorted and some free time for summer break <3 read on for some details abt this new muse of mine, clementine. 

01. biography !

so ! clementine was born in florida. & yes, her real name is clementine. her mom thot it was the cutest name idea ever. clementine mostly goes by clem. she comes from the town [redacted] in florida bcoz i am too lazy to look up a specific town <3 but alas ! it was swampy and humid and she lived in a trailer park. 

her parents got knocked up at nineteen. clem was born nine months after a particularly wild 1999 fourth of july. her birthday is march 26th and she’s an aries. 

(TW: addiction, child injury) clem’s dad was a gambling addict and petty criminal—he wld steal credit cards n whatnot. he wld gamble away diaper money n it would cause constant fighting until her dad finally left. her mom took this very hard n began drinking a bit too often, leaving clem to to make cereal for dinner n fend for herself. once clem tried to make hot dogs on the stove and spilled boiling water on herself. got a p bad burn on her arm/shoulder and still has a big scar.

the soundtrack of her childhood was cicadas buzzing and stray dogs barking. the sizzle and pop of natty light cans. turning up her ipod to max volume to drown out the sounds of her mother fighting with her new boyfriend.

throughout her upbringing, clem’s dad was always in and out of the picture. he’d blow into town when he hit it big. he’d take her on these little “adventures” like staying in a motel 6 n renting movies at block buster n ordering good pizza nt the dominos shit she ate with her mom lol. ofc he was charging it all to someone’s stolen credit card. he’d always promise to, like, take clem away. n clem was a daddy’s girl so she believed him. the last time it happened was her h.s. graduation. her mom didn’t show ( "overslept” after a bender ) but her dad did and surprised her n said everything wld be different. bt then he bailed on their plans for the next day n when she called his cell, the number was disconnected. tht was the defining “i’m done” moment. clem promised to never be disappointed by her father again.

(TW: racism) her mother has mexican ancestry and clem’s always been called her twin. but clem was raised in a predominately white area and honestly ?? it was really hard without her even realizing it. she’s still unpacking a lot of things today abt her youth that jst weren’t okay bt she thought were normal. like microaggressions, stereotypes, being fetishized by boys in high school. gross shit.

as a kid, clem was rumored to be really poor bc she wore tattered clothes n got free lunch at school. once she invited a friend to her house & the next day they told everyone it’s in a trailer park. that reputation—the “trailer park girl”—was really hard to shake. and clem got almost desperate to shake it. she was endlessly trying to set her old self on fire and emerge from the ashes like a phoenix.

eventually clem became more “popular”. in school she was, like, a straight b student. very average although super creative and quick-thinking. she always had street smarts. problem solving skills. independence. more of, like, practical intelligence as opposed to book smarts because academia bores her tbh. she was like why am i reading these overrated boring books by dead white men or learning abt polynomials when i know nothing abt how to pay a mortage or do taxes. like...she saw the american education system as bullshit and put in modest effort because she didn’t believe it deserved her sweat and tears. 

however, she entered the online lottery for the seas program on a whim and got in. so she’s studying creative writing now.

02. personality !

first thing you shld know abt clem is that she’s a compulsive liar essentially—she tells various stories to make her life seem better than what it was. to one person, she’s an heiress to a real estate company and grew up wealthy. to the next she was raised by nomadic hippies. some of her lies are small fibs while others are grandiose tales. she rarely talks about her actual upbringing. she hates talking abt her family or the v real trauma of growing up in a household where both parents struggled w/ addiction; the uncertainty, the broken promises, the fact that she had to grow up so soon and deal w/ so much. it wasn’t fair, and if she thinks about it too much, she feels this anger. anger at the universe. anger at her circumstances. she doesn’t know where to put this anger. she doesn’t know how to shrink it. so she avoids it.

despite her rough upbringing, though, clem is actually really sweet and kind. she’s adventurous, fun-loving, free-spirited, and bold. 

bt ! she can also be closed-off, competitive and restive. 

she’s seemingly tight with everyone? like she’s jst that girl who can get along with anyone tbh. 

in her spare time you can catch her tanning by the pool, hanging at the bar, playing pool ( which she learned from her dad ), and socializing. she’ll never say no to hanging out with people. 

she learned a lot from her little “adventures” with her dad, who was very good at conning others and often involved her in his dumb little scams. clem is suuuper good at pulling the ‘im baby 🥺’ card to get what she wants.

she can be a little selfish, because she grew up looking out for herself. 

stubborn and dogmatic as hell !!!

she doesn’t do too many relationships but when she does fall, i imagine she falls hard and fast. she refuses to be made a fool of, tho. when she gets vulnerable she flashes back to being a kid, waiting all day for her dad to show up only to have him bail on her. again. she hates that feeling. so if she, like, senses a shift in someone’s energy she’ll b like, “i’ll break up with u before u can do it to me” and the person wasn’t even tryna dump her lmao.

has a lot of sex. too much ?? sex?? mayb. but she’s v sex positive.

her personal style is v late 90s. hair clips, big scrunchies, neon, fur trim, crop and tube tops, hoop earrings, chokers, patterns, platform shoes, biodegradable glitter cuz it’s good fr the earth *winks*. clothes from o-mighty.......actually jst google o mighty, pull up the images and That is clem. she dresses like a bratz doll. she’s dedicated to the aesthetic.

03. headcanons !

her item brought from home is a hot pink poker chip from a casino. her dad gave it to her. he said it reminded him of her because of the color; he got it during one of his winning streaks and said it was lucky. she has a complicated relationship w/ her dad n doesn’t even speak to him anymore, bt she will never go anywhere without it.

she’s a smol bean—only 5′4

an astrology girl and she reads palms ! she absolutely makes astrology tik toks that people only watch because she’s hot. her flirting technique is to ask you to read your palm.

she doesn’t typically drink to get drunk. but she does love a good sugary cocktail. to her, a drink is like an accessory. a blue fishbowl by the pool, a jack and coke as she stands around a bar. usually she'll nurse the same beverage for a while. if you see her wasted it usually means she’s going thru it emotionally lol. the one thing she does do is drugs tho 

pretty much listens to exclusively female artists.

a bit of an activist. environmentalism, feminism and the like, she’s v outspoken. vegan for ethical reasons (TW: drugs) bt still does cocaine. she wears shirts with ‘my pussy my choice’ bedazzled on the front.

loves to rollerblade ! back home she didn’t have a car so she’d bike or rollerblade. now she still has her blades and she’ll use them when the ship docks. 

03. wanted connections !

Friends, bffs, ride or dies, friends who are like siblings to her, maybe a friend with an unrequited crush on either side ??

an ex she dumped/cheated on/otherwise self sabotaged their relationship because she was afraid of vulnerability.

an ex friend who realized she lies a lot abt herself n felt betrayed. OH ! ESP if they opened up to her on many occasions abt intimate, personal stuff. imagine the betrayal they felt when they found that everything they thought they knew abt clem is a lie.

someone who she actually opens up to. a confidant. or, maybe, like, a stranger she drunkenly spilled her soul to and now she avoids them like the plague.

a rival. clem can be competitive.

her drug dealer 

someone she knows she shouldn’t hook up with and… does it anyways. like a friend’s ex or smthing. spicy <3

i welcome anything !

[jrubalcaba]

Can’t Help Falling In Love - Ch. 22

Can’t Help Falling In Love Chapter 22 - A Steve x OFC fanfiction

author: jrubalcaba

featuring: OFC Evelyn “Evie” Rogers x Steve Rogers

word count: 6954 words

rating: Mature audiences only please

warnings: Smut, Family issues

A/N: Credit to @suz-123 for the character of Alice and thanks to @celeb-fess for her beta work!

Life was pretty much normal at first, and since we had all lived together in the same place before the move, we got on well. After our return, Bucky and Alice were bursting with their own good news: Alice was pregnant, so Steve and I were going to be Uncle Steve and Aunt Evie! We were so excited for them! Since they were having a baby, we helped get the nursery ready for him/her. Well, I dictated Alice’s demands while Steve and Bucky did all the heavy lifting and assembling.

Four months in, however and Alice was starting to irritate me. At first, she was constantly gushing over how amazing it was that she was pregnant, what a miracle it was that she got pregnant in the first place. But then, it began. The constant complaining, the moaning and groaning about how miserable she was. It was starting to really grate on my nerves, and I know it shouldn’t bother me, but it did.

It annoyed me because I wasn’t pregnant.

We had been actively trying since our honeymoon, but even after a few months, I still wasn’t pregnant. I thought maybe since I had been on birth control for so long, that it was still in my system, so I went to the doctor for some testing. Results came back a few days later, with no traces of any kind of medication at all.

Fuck.

You wouldn’t think Steve Rogers, the world’s first superhero, wouldn’t be able to knock up his wife. So, we doubled our efforts. Literally. We went from having sex once a day to two or three times daily. And we stopped letting me be on top. Silly I know, but we were willing to try anything to get it to work. Any position that we could think of where gravity would work with us, we tried. We changed our diets, we tried feng shui in our bedroom. Praying, wishing on a shooting star. You name it, we tried it. Nothing worked. We went to the doctor countless times, undergoing test after test. As anyone could have predicted, there wasn’t a thing wrong with Steve, and why would there be? His body, and all the cells within it were perfect. And the kicker?

Not a fucking thing wrong with me. At all.

The doctors were baffled. They couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Short of having Steve and I have sex there in the office and then have them run tests on me immediately after, there was no way to find out what the problem was. They could take samples from both Steve and I and combine them in the lab, and it would take. But for some odd reason, if it tried to take inside me, it wouldn’t.

I was defective.

I began to withdraw from Steve. I felt useless. What good am I to my husband if I can’t give him a family? I knew that Steve would eventually not want me anymore, and who would blame him? Captain America deserved a wife that could give him all the children that he wanted. I started sleeping in one of the spare rooms. Well, I would start out in our bed, but once Steve was good and asleep, I would sneak into another room and finish the night there. Since I wasn’t getting pregnant, there was no need for me to share Steve’s bed anymore. A few weeks of that though, and Steve started falling asleep with his arms wrapped around me, which made it hard to sneak away. Finally, after a few instances of “accidentally” waking him up, he called me out on it.

“Alright Evie, stop,” Steve snapped. “Why are you leaving our room after I fall asleep? And don’t tell me you’re not. It’s kinda obvious since I hardly wake up with you still in bed with me.” I rolled over to face him.

“Steve, there’s no reason for me to stay in your bed anymore,” I began softly, already feeling the tears coming on. “I can’t give you children, so why would you bother to stay with me?” I stopped then as my fear overcame me. Steve’s arms wrapped around me, pulling me into his chest as I cried.

“Evelyn Jane Rogers, I don’t care if you can give me kids or not. I fell in love with you, not your ability to reproduce.” I sobbed into him, not having the strength to argue. His left hand, the one with the symbol of my everlasting devotion, came up to grab my chin and lift my face to his. “Baby, please don’t cry. I’m never going to leave you. Not until my heart stops. I meant it on our wedding day, I mean it now, and I’m going to mean it forever.” He kissed me deeply, only pulling away to wipe the tears from my face. “Face it, Evie, you’re stuck with me for life.” He tucked me under his chin, holding me until we fell asleep.

I was the first one up the next morning. I carefully slid out from under Steve’s arms and went down to the pantry to start breakfast. I gathered up the stuff I needed to make waffles and walked back into the kitchen.

“Morning.” I looked over my shoulder and saw Bucky, who looked incredibly pissed. The tension in the room was palpable, my heart racing. I haven’t dealt with an angry Bucky in such close proximity. He walked to the counter, planting both hands against the top and giving me a once over. “You mind telling me what the fuck is going on between you and Alice?” I was in so much trouble.

“Look, I know you’re probably upset with me, and-” I started.

“Oh, I’m more than upset,” he cut in. My flight or fight response was kicking in, but I knew I was no match at fighting, nor could I outrun him. “I’m fucking livid. Alice, the love of my life and mother of my child, has been keeping things from me, and I find out that you, the person who’s a sister to me, has been completely ignoring her for weeks now, making her feel like shit. Yeah, we passed upset a while ago.” He began to walk around the counter towards me, which had me taking steps to keep as much space between us as possible.

“Bucky, I know it’s bothering you, but please, just drop it,” I begged. His face went blank for a split second before a look of undeniable fury filled it.

“Drop it? Oh no, I’m not dropping anything.” He advanced toward me again, his eyes tracking my movements to escape him. “You honestly think I can just forget about you upsetting Alice?” My breathing hitched in my chest, terror flooding my system.

“No, Bucky, I just meant-” I stammered before he cut me off again.

“Meant what, huh? That I should be okay with you upsetting Alice? I don’t think so,” he growled. Suddenly, Steve entered the kitchen, looking at Bucky and me.

“What’s going on here?” he asked hesitantly. I felt my heart settle a bit, knowing that he was here in case I needed him.

“We’re fine Stevie, just having a little talk about Alice. Don’t worry about it,” Bucky answered. He looked to me for confirmation, so I nodded. Alice and Hunter had joined us, quietly watching from the corner. Bucky stood in front of me, glaring. “I’m just wanting to know why she’s being such a fucking bitch.”

SMACK

I blinked in surprise, not realizing what I had just done. Alice gasped as Bucky’s metal hand had come up to hold his slightly red cheek, shock plain as day on his face. Steve stepped up then, putting his arms between us to keep me? Bucky? from taking it further.

“Bucky, what the hell?!” Alice yelled. I spared her no glance as my anger boiled over. I glared back at Bucky, drawing myself up to my full (but unimpressive) height.

“You wanna know why I’m being such a bitch? Hmm?” I snapped, getting up in his face (the best I could). “I’m being such a bitch because I’m trying to give Steve a baby, but it’s not fucking working!” The two of them looked at me, stunned. Bucky recovered first, getting into my face as well. Now that my temper had taken over, he didn’t scare me anymore. If anything, he only fueled my anger.

“How the fuck does that have anything to do with Alice?” he spat at me. I noticed that Steve had backed away, knowing that my temper was not something to interfere with.

“Because,” I started, pointing at Alice. “I can’t deal with her constantly going on about how miserable she is and how she wishes that she could trade places with me.” My eyes started to water, and I hated how weak it made me look. “But she can’t trade places with me, no matter how badly she may want to.” I started to cry in earnest then, my horror from last night revisited. Bucky scoffed at me before strutting over to Alice and pulling her shirt up, her stomach covered in a myriad of bruises, varying in color. I winced at the sight because if I didn’t know any better, I’d have thought he was beating her.

“So you’d want to deal with this then, huh?!” he snarled, pointing at the discoloration. She pushed him away and pulled her shirt back down. I could care less though. If I had to break every bone in my body just to get pregnant, I would. Still crying, I nodded.

“Yes. A million times yes, if it meant that I was giving Steve the family that he deserves.” Steve wrapped his arms around me as I wept. Bucky and Alice were quiet for a bit before Alice spoke up.

“Bucky, just calm down.” She came over to us and grabbed me from Steve so she could talk to me face to face. “Evie, why did you stop talking to me? If I was upsetting you, then you should have told me!” She then started to cry, whether it was due to hormones or getting the silent treatment from me, I wasn’t sure.

“Alice, I didn’t want to take my frustration out on you! You didn’t deserve it, so I kept it all in.” I was starting to run out of tears as we talked. She huffed, wiping her face.

“I didn’t deserve you ignoring me either, Evie. I am sorry that I kept on and on though.” She rubbed my arm sympathetically. “I just couldn’t figure out how to bring all of this up though.” I half smiled at her in an attempt to let her know I didn’t blame her.

“I know, and I’m sorry. I wish I could take it all back.” I sighed. “I didn’t want to upset you with all of our drama.”

“Evie, I literally come from a whole different dimension,” she deadpanned at me. “I think I have a pretty good handle on drama, you idiot.” I chuckled, not with humor, but because she didn’t understand. “For fuck’s sake, I used to kill monsters for a living.” I shook my head at her.

“No, this drama is different Alice.” She rolled her eyes at me.

“Why? Because it’s yours?” I could feel my temper start to flare up again, and as much as Alice irritated me, I wanted to stay above ground, not have Bucky put me six feet under for touching Alice.

“No, you twit, because it’s actually different. Your drama was monsters and this is growing people.” She threw her hands in the air in frustration.

“So fucking what? We still could’ve helped each other! Why wouldn’t I want to help my friend when she’s hurting, especially after everything you’ve done for us?” I ground my teeth together.

“Because, Alice, it’s not something that you can just magically fix!” I growled. She shook her head in disbelief.

“You know what? You’re fucking hopeless sometimes Evie! How can I even begin to understand if you won’t tell me?” She was so infuriating, but I had to keep my head.

“It’s not your problem.” She made to walk away when I continued. “I’m the problem. We can’t have a baby because I’m…broken.” I barely whispered the last word, but she still heard it. She turned back to me, frowning.

“Evie, I’m sure that’s not it. I thought the same thing about myself, remember? You have to give yourself a chance.” She still didn’t understand. I sighed, feeling exhausted from arguing.

“Alice, honey, you ended up pregnant. Whatever you had gone through ‘over there’ didn’t stop it. I’m still me, and I can’t get pregnant.” I glanced over at Steve, knowing that he was seeing more of how hard I was being on myself. She rolled her eyes again as she crossed her arms.

“And it took over two years for me to get pregnant! How long have you been trying? A few days? A month?” I dropped my gaze to the floor, ashamed.

“Since our honeymoon.” Both she and Bucky gasped as the realization of our struggle hit them. I looked up after a while, and the look of horror on Alice’s face will haunt me forever. She ran and enveloped me in a hug, and we both stood there, holding each other while we cried. Finally, after a good while, we pulled away, sniffling and wiping our tears. “Alice I am so sorry. Forgive me?” I choked out. She nodded before pulling me in for another hug.

“Yes, I forgive you, but it’s me that should be sorry, not you.” I sniffled again.

“Agree to disagree.” We chuckled, and I heard the guys breathe a sigh of relief. They approached us, hugging us in turns. “I’m sorry for slapping you, but you kinda deserved it,” I mumbled in Bucky’s ear as he squeezed me. He laughed before letting me go.

“Yeah well, you were being a bitch so,” he replied with a shrug and a smirk on his face. Alice and Steve regarded us with interest.

“Bucky, be nice,” Alice scolded. “So, since you guys can’t have kids the old-fashioned way, what are you going to do?” Steve and I looked at each other.

“Well, I guess we’ll have to adopt. It may not be the way we wanted to start a family, but if it’s the only way, then that’s what we’ll do,” Steve answered. She nodded, giving me a sad smile. “So, now that we’ve all talked everything out, who wants breakfast?” We all agreed, and I finished getting the stuff to make everything I could think of as a way of apologizing.

After breakfast, we spent the rest of the day hanging out, catching up and going over theories as to why I couldn’t get pregnant.

Later that night, as we were getting ready for a shower, Alice burst into our room, followed closely by Bucky.

“Evie, Steve! I have an idea that you’re gonna love!” she cried as she sat on top of our bed. We looked at each other skeptically before walking over to join them.

“Okay, what’s up?” I asked as I sat next to her. She looked like Hunter did when he was over-excited, wiggling in place.

“I figured out how you guys can have a baby that’s yours.” Uh, okay.

“And how’s that?” I mused.

“Me. I can have your baby,” she answered proudly. I blinked a few times in confusion before my brain caught up to what she had said.

“Uh, no. Alice, I love ya, but there is no way in hell that I’m sharing Steve with you,” I snapped. I looked over at Bucky, appalled that he was even remotely okay with the idea. Alice waved her hand.

“Ew, just ew. You really think I’d sleep with a blonde? Sorry, but no, not even for you,” she said, disgusted. “You said that the doctors have been able to take samples from both of you and join them in the lab and it takes right?” I nodded, not seeing where she was headed. “Well, we all know that I can carry a super soldier child. What if after I have our baby and my doctor has cleared me for it, I undergo the procedure to have your samples put inside me and I have your baby?” I felt my heart stop, before taking off in a sprint.

“Alice, that’s a very generous offer. What brought this on?” I asked, my voice wavering. She looked from me to Steve to Bucky and back to me before explaining.

“Well, we were talking about how horrible you must have felt and I was saying that I wish there was a way I could help. Bucky jokingly said ‘what’s there for us to do? It’s not like we can have a baby for them’. And that’s when it hit me, I could have a baby for you.” She smiled triumphantly, and it took everything I had to not cry. Bucky chose to step in and explain further.

“This is our way of saying thank you; for keeping Alice safe while I’ve been gone on missions, for Hunter, and for allowing us to live here with you.” He clapped Steve on the shoulder and grinned. “I’ve been looking after you since we were kids, Stevie. Never thought I’d have to help you have kids too.” He chuckled before turning to me. “So, what do you say? Can we help you have a baby?” I looked at Steve, still in shock. He was as equally surprised as I was, but he seemed to recover faster.

“Buck, Alice, I don’t know what to say. We’re honored that you would offer the opportunity to us, but it’s too much. We couldn’t possibly accept it.” Our friends shook their heads in unison, clearly not accepting our answer.

“We’re not offering, we’re doing it, whether you like it or not. Although, it would make it easier if you said yes,” Bucky argued, Alice nodding along with him.

“Please, let us do this for you,” she pleaded, grabbing my hands in hers. Hunter has apparently given her lessons because she was flashing me the most impressive pair of puppy eyes I’ve ever seen. I looked over at Steve in disbelief.

“Steve, come on, we can’t say no to that face,” I whined. He sighed, reaching out to grab Bucky and pull him into a hug. I took that as a ‘yes’ before flinging my arms around Alice’s neck, breaking down a bit in the process. “I honestly don’t know how to thank you for this, you guys. Really.” I leaned back to wipe the tears away, surprised to see Alice a little teary-eyed too.

“Sorry, it’s the hormones.” We all laughed for a bit, the seriousness of their offer finally sinking in. “Okay well, we’ll let you two get to bed. Just think, the sooner we have this baby, the sooner you get to have yours.” Steve and I smiled at the thought as we waved good night.

“Wow,” I said as the door shut. “They are the best roommates ever. Come on, let’s get in the shower.” I grabbed his hand and led him to the bathroom. Once I had the water running, I started to take my clothes off. I heard a low moan from Steve, so I turned to see what was wrong. “You okay?” I asked, making sure the water was at the right temperature for us.

“It’s been a while since the last time I saw you naked,” he replied, his eyes roaming all over me. “I’m just enjoying the view.” He was smiling my favorite smile, the wolfy one that makes me feel like Little Red Riding Hood. I walked forward and palmed him through his pants, earning another moan.

“Well, get undressed and you can enjoy the feeling too,” I purred before getting in. I stepped into the water and began to wash my hair. I felt Steve step in behind me, his cock, hot and thick, rubbing against my ass.

“You know,” he growled, his hands coming up to cup my breasts. “Since the stress of having a baby is gone, sex can be fun again.” I turned to him as I rinsed my hair.

“Well Captain Rogers, I feel really bad about sneaking out of bed all those nights,” I confessed as I lathered up a washcloth and began to suggestively rub it all over my body. Once I was done, I rinsed it off before I began to rub it across his pecs, then trailed it down his abs, teasing along his Adonis before moving down to stroke him. He hissed at the contact, his breathing became ragged. “I think I need to be punished.” I continued my ministrations, eventually dropping to my knees to take him into my mouth. I felt his groan reverberate through his whole body as he bumped the back of my throat. Suddenly, he was gone from my mouth and his hands were picking me up to push me against the wall of the shower.

“Mrs., I’m sorry, Dr. Rogers, if its punishment you want, it’s punishment you’ll get,” he snarled as he reached down to line himself up at my entrance, thrusting inside me with no warning. Steve kept that pace up, hard and fast, his hands coming up to pinch and pull at my nipples. He pulled out, reaching down to flick at my clit, causing me to cry out. “You like that, baby?’ he asked, flicking it again, which made me cry out once more before I could nod. “How about this?” He used one hand to spread my lips apart while he slapped my clit with the other. I could see stars, but it wasn’t painful. It was so intense, and since it had been a while since our last round of sex, it was a welcome feeling.

“Steve,” I whimpered. He pulled back to look at me, his eyes searching my face for any signs of genuine discomfort.

“Baby you okay?” he asked, worried that he had gone too far. I reached over and shut the water off, panting as I did. I cradled his face in my hands, my lips stretching into a small smile.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Steve, I want to have sex with you, but I don’t want you to hold back.” His eyes grew big. He’s held back almost every time because he was afraid of hurting me. Right now, I could care less. I wanted to make it up to him, and I know that telling him to let go would do it. “Please?” I begged. He nodded his head once, before picking me up and carrying me to our bed and laying me down.

“Evie, if it’s too much for you, please tell me to stop. I don’t want to hurt you, okay?” he stressed. I kissed him deeply.

“I will, Promise.” He climbed on top of me, lining himself up again before pushing in slowly. I raised an eyebrow at him as he pulled almost all the way out before thrusting in so hard that I forgot how to breathe. He started a hard, but slow pace, giving me time to adjust to his strength. When he saw that I wasn’t flinching as much, he started to go faster, which also made him go harder. Steve moved his hands from above my shoulders to holding my waist, and the change in position made him angle up and begin to repeatedly hit my g-spot. “Oh god,” I gasped as pleasure threatened to overwhelm me.

“What? What’s wrong?” He asked suddenly as he slowed his pace, worried that he had hurt me.

“Steve, don’t stop! Keep going!” I demanded as I jutted my hips up to meet his. Realizing that I wasn’t in pain, he resumed his thrusts. I grabbed onto his arms for dear life as he began to gain speed, the entire bed moving in time with his movements.

“Evie, you close baby?” he grunted, his hips beginning to falter. I leaned up to kiss him.

“Yes. Are you?” He nodded, licking his fingers and reaching down to rub circles over my clit. My orgasm crashed over me, my body arching toward his. “Steveeeeeeeeeeee,” my moan stretching out as I rode out my high. Steve wrapped a hand around my lower back, holding me up as he crashed himself into me, coating my walls with his release.

“Ohhhhhhhhhh,” the most obscene moan coming from him as he came, collapsing on top of me. We laid there, his entire weight smushing me into our mattress until he had recovered enough to roll off and pull me to his side.

“Wow,” I breathed. He chuckled.

“Wow is right.” He leaned up on one elbow to get a better look at me. “We’re never waiting that long again.” He bent down and kissed me softly, smiling against my lips. “Did I hurt you?”

I shook my head. “No sweetheart, you didn’t. It was intense, I won’t deny that, but it was amazing.” I took a deep breath before going on. “I wouldn’t be opposed to trying that more often if that’s okay with you,” I offered. He smirked down at me as I yawned.

“That sounds great. Let’s get to sleep now, yeah?” He grabbed the blankets and pulled them over us as he snuggled up against my back, the both of us falling into a deep and peaceful sleep.

#

In the days and weeks following Alice and Bucky’s offer, there was an anxious atmosphere in the house. Since we were back on good terms, I was able to share in the joy of their impending arrival, knowing that once that child was here, I’d be that much closer to holding my own. Bucky and Alice saw fit to start hanging out with us again, bringing Hunter with them as well. He was acting weird, constantly nudging his nose under my hand or even laying across my lap if I happened to be sitting on the couch. If I went anywhere, he was right there, acting like a guide dog. We all chalked it up to having missed me so much, which made sense since I had been in his life since he was just a few weeks old. I wasn’t complaining though, I had missed the little bugger.

Steve and I were happy again, since the problem of having a family was solved. We went back to the way things were, acting like the joyous newlyweds that we were. We started thinking of everything that we would need for our own baby, coming up with all the names of people we wanted to honor. We also picked out where we wanted the nursery, and figured that if we saw something that we would need, then we got it. We wanted to have everything ready for when our baby was finally here, even though it could be well over a year from now.

Alice was in full-on nesting mode, cleaning every room in the house to impossible standards. I woke up more than once to her trying to sneak into our room to tidy up. I understood that it was instinctual, but I drew the line at cleaning while we were still in bed. So, I made her a deal that she could go through our room during the day as long as she kept to their half of the house at night. She was surprisingly alright with that, so much so that when we woke up in the mornings she was there, ready to start cleaning.

Another part of the deal was that I dealt with using the cleaning chemicals so she wouldn’t get sick from them. She wasn’t too happy on that part, but after she used a cleaner with bleach and got all woozy from the fumes, Bucky freaked out on her and he had to get a new vehicle. Well, he didn’t, Alice had. They had come home in a new Tahoe, loaded with everything. And it wasn’t that he had crashed his old truck, he just ended up taking his frustration out on it.

“It’s ok,” he had told me one day, while Steve and Alice were in town. “Alice didn’t like my truck anyway.” He smirked at me as he went back to painting. Bucky loved Alice, but even he was starting to get fed up with her hormones, so Steve and I started taking her in turns, giving Bucky a break. Today I had chosen to hang with Bucky, so Steve had decided to take her to town for a little pre-baby pampering. Bucky and I were painting their bathroom while they were out so the fumes wouldn’t bother Alice. My jaw dropped as I stood there trying to comprehend what he had just confessed.

“You mean to tell me that you deliberately messed up your absolutely gorgeous truck just so you could have a reason to get Alice a new car?” I asked, incredulous. He grinned at me, bringing his index finger to his lips in an ‘shh’ gesture. “I can’t believe you. Well, actually yeah I can,” I replied, shaking my head at him. We resumed painting, trying to get it done before Steve got fed up with Alice and brought her home.

“God, I fucking hate this color. The old one was way better, but noooooooo, we have to change it because Alice says so,” he mocked, causing me to giggle.

“Oh really?” a British voice asked from the door. Bucky flinched so much that his paintbrush smacked me in the side of the face. I turned to him, mouth agape.

“Alice, love, what are you doing here?” he stammered, dropping his brush in the paint tray. I turned further to see her, making her smile. I already knew where Steve was because I could hear him laughing his ass off outside.

“Uh, I live here, remember?” she sassed, hands on her hips. “Love, if you didn’t like the color, all you had to do was say so. Now we have to deal with this and you’re not happy with it,” she finished, starting to get teary-eyed. I looked between them, not wanting to get involved. “And now poor Evie has paint all over her face, and it’s going to take forever for her to get it off.” He looked over at me, the apology dying on his lips as he saw how ridiculous I looked. I flipped him off before walking to the door, pausing at Alice’s side.

“Alice, honey, it’s okay. It’s not that big a deal, really,” I consoled her, rubbing her arm. I looked back at Bucky, who was beginning to cackle at my expense. “And I like the color, so joke’s on asshole back there.” I went through the doorway and found my husband leaning against the wall, holding himself up as he caught his breath.

“Hey baby,” he got out before he dissolved into another fit of laughter. “It looks like you chose the wrong person to hang out with today!” he gasped between guffaws. I stood there for a moment, clearly not amused, before I stalked off past him. He followed me upstairs to our bedroom, still chuckling. “Aww come on, don’t be mad,” he whined as I shut the bathroom door in his face. “Evie, baby, please. I didn’t mean it.” I turned the shower on and began to take my paint clothes off. Once I had gotten undressed, I opened the door, revealing my naked form to Steve.

“You know, you shouldn’t laugh at your wife for her choices, ‘cause you’re one of them.” It was his turn to stare in shock as I walked by him to grab my robe. “Now, if you’re done catching flies, why don’t you come join me?” His dumbfounded look instantly changed to a predatory one as he chased me into the bathroom.

#

A few nights later, after I had been in and out of the bathroom all day puking my guts out (I knew that sushi from the other night wasn’t a good idea), I was woken up by knocking at our door. Groggily, I trudged to it, opening it to reveal an incredibly anxious Bucky.

“Hey Buck, what’s up?” I asked around a yawn.

“We’re heading to the hospital. Alice’s water broke and her contractions are getting intense.” I was suddenly wide awake.

“Oh my god. Well, what the hell are you doing here? Go! We’ve got Hunter,” I shooed him away, the dog in question planting himself at my feet. “Call us when the baby’s here so we can come up!” I called down the hallway as he all but teleported downstairs. I stepped back into my room, closing the door behind Hunter as he waited for me at the foot of the bed. I climbed back under the covers and he jumped up, laying over my lap yet again.

“Baby what’s going on?” Steve groaned sleepily. I looked over at him, grinning.

“Alice is in labor, so Bucky took her to the hospital.” His eyes grew big before he broke into a huge grin.

“Really? That’s great. And you know what that means, right?” Of course, I knew what that meant. We’re that much closer to having our own baby.

“Oh yeah. I’m so excited for them.” We snuggled together, absentmindedly stroking Hunter’s fur. “What do you say about getting our own dog before we have a baby?” He turned to me, regarding me with interest.

“Really? Didn’t think you ever wanted a dog,” he answered. I quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Uh, yeah. Where the hell do you think Hunter came from?” I was a little insulted. He shrugged and I wanted to slap him. “Of course I want a dog. I think Hunter would like a friend to play with.” I gave him my approximation of puppy dog eyes. “I’ve been in touch with the shelter that I got Hunter from. He was brought in with two other dogs, a golden retriever, and a German Shepard. The golden retriever has since then been adopted, but the German Shepard is still there. I was thinking that maybe we can take a little road trip and take Hunter with us.” He nodded, sighing.

“It’ll be different seeing you play with dogs. Kinda looking forward to it,” he chuckled. I capped my hands excitedly.

“Yay! I’m sure Hunter will love the ride to and from and playing with all the dogs. Let’s go tomorrow,” I added on at the end. He peeked at me out of the corner of his eye.

“Sure babe, anything you say. Now, let’s go back to sleep.” He nuzzled into my side, and his body heat helped me fall back to sleep.

The next morning, we got up and got ready to leave. There wasn’t any word from Bucky or Alice, so we planned on spending the whole day in New York City. We figured we stop by the Tower too since we were going to be in the neighborhood. Once everything was ready, we loaded up in Steve’s truck and headed out. Hunter had the whole backseat to himself, and he was loving it. He’d go from one window to the other, and since we had the windows down, he was hanging his head out of them, just reveling in the open air. Once we got in the city though, he started to whine.

“I guess he’s not as fond of the city as you and Bucky are,” I noted. Steve shrugged.

“Not everyone is a city-slicker like us.” I laughed as we pulled into the shelter parking lot. I got out and clipped Hunter’s leash on, before walking into the front door. Mrs. Willett smiled as we walked up, before walking around the counter to give me a hug.

“Evie! Oh, it’s so good to see you again! And is this our Hunter?” she cooed, bending down to see him better. He licked her face, instantly remembering her from his youth. “Oh my goodness! He’s grown so much! You can tell he’s very much loved!” She stood back up and looked at Steve. “Is this the elusive Steve Rogers that you were always talking about?” I blushed as Steve turned to me expectantly.

“Yes, this is him. After pining away for years, I finally got him. Steve,” I said, turning to him. “This is Mrs. Willett, the owner of this fine establishment.” He stuck his hand out to shake, but she enveloped him in a hug.

“There’s no need to be all formal dear. After all these years of listening to Evie talk about you, I feel like I’ve known you just as long.” I saw him blush the tiniest bit as she said this and I chuckled. They released each other as she turned back to Hunter. “So, what brought you two in today?”

“Well, we’re wanting to look into getting a dog of our own. I’m not sure if you remember, but I had gotten Hunter here for our friends Alice and Bucky. He gets plenty of playtime with us, but I feel that if there was another dog in the house, he’d be happier.” She nodded in agreement.

“That’s a great idea. I take it that you all live together?” she asked, curious.

“Yes,” I confirmed.

“That’s lovely. Now, when Hunter was brought in, there was a golden retriever and a German Shepard with him. The retriever has been adopted, but the Shepard, Howie, is still here, and quite lonely.” I frowned.

“Well, let’s go see him. If Hunter remembers you, then he ought to remember Howie,” I reasoned. We all nodded as she led the way to a bonding room, ushering us inside before going to get Howie. “I’m kinda nervous. I kinda hope they do remember each other and I hope they get along. He really was such a sweetie, just like Hunter.”

Just then, Mrs. Willett opened the door, Howie poking his head through first. She led him in the rest of the way, before he sat down, watching us. Hunter trotted forward, and they sniffed each other timidly. Hunter made a sound in his chest, almost like he was saying ‘Howie is that you?’. Howie yipped and before we knew it, the two were playing with each other.

“They do remember each other!” she cheered. They were playing like they had back when they were puppies, and I knew that we would be leaving with two dogs. Just then, Steve’s phone rang. As he stepped outside to talk, I knelt down so I could reconnect with Howie.

“Hi baby,” I cooed, holding my hand out for him to sniff. He did, then he launched himself at me, covering my face with kisses. “Oh, how’s my sweet boy? Yes, you’re such a sweetie, just like I remember! You’re coming home with us! Oh yes, you are!” Steve walked back inside, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Hey, I hate to break up the playtime, but that was Bucky on the phone. Alice had the baby, but he still won’t tell me if it’s a boy or girl. We gotta go up there and see for ourselves.” He chuckled as he helped me up. “I guess we’re leaving with another dog, huh?” I smiled before pointed back at them.

“You wanna be the one to break them up again? Be my guest.” He shook his head no as I grinned. “Good. I’ll get them and Howie’s things in the truck if you deal with the adoption fee.” I turned back to gather up my fur-phew and my new fur-son. “Come on boys, let’s go for a ride.” Their ears perked up, and they made a beeline for the door. I followed them out, opening the back door so they could climb onto the seat. I went back inside and grabbed Howie’s bed and toys and took them outside and loaded them in the bed of the truck. Steve and Mrs. Willett were walking up then, and she looked a little misty-eyed.

“I’ve been waiting for the day that he got adopted. He’s such a kind soul, and he deserves happiness,” she started, the tears beginning to fall. “I’m so happy that he finally has a family and that he’s reunited with his brother.” I hugged her tightly, trying to stop the tears.

“Don’t worry about them anymore. They are in good hands, I promise.” I stepped back so she could get to the window, scratching Hunter and Howie behind their ears one last time before we left. “I hate to rush things, but Hunter’s mommy and daddy are at the hospital and she just had his little brother or sister and we’re dying to meet them.” She smiled indulgently at me, turning to Steve to include him.

“That’s wonderful. Can we expect any little Avengers from you two?” she asked, looking between us. Steve and I glanced at each other quickly, sharing a grin.

“Well, not the old-fashioned way. We’re having trouble on that part, so Alice has offered to help, but we have to wait for her doctor to give the go-ahead on it,” he explained. Mrs. Willett gasped, her hands going to her mouth.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry. My apologies for breaching such a sensitive subject,” she stammered. I patter her arm consolingly.

“It’s alright, but we really do need to leave. Goodbye Mrs. Willett,” I bade her as Steve opened my door for me to get in.

“Have a good day, ma’am,” he called out as he walked around to the driver’s side. She waved as we pulled out, the dogs barking their goodbyes.

TAG LIST:

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[floweringeclipse]

//uhh. incoming wall of text that’s p much just me sobbing about some things in Ep Ig that i’d like to write abt eventually

this one’s mainly about Caligo bc of heavy HC regarding the Amicitia kids (AND JARED) i talked to @thekingsshield​ about, and how iris can honest to god kiss and hug ravus for all eternity. @massadamnata​ keviiiiin can i  please make your ravus the prisoner of her affections??? omg

anyway, spoilers n shit under the cut, ofc--

-OH MY FUCKIN GOD FIRST OF ALL THIS BITCH CALIGO SHOWS UP AND MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL WITHIN MILLISECONds but ultimately his sudden appearance gave me motivation to write some more about a HC ive thrown at Sam a long while back:

the BIGGEST reason why my iris is so full of salt and spite and anger and motivation to train and fight during the WoR is BECAUSE OF THIS MOTHERFUCKER who BRUTALLY killed an innocent, powerless old man  right in front of his grandson and practically-adoptive grandaughter. AND!!!! Caligo spread lies about the whole ordeal!! effectively smearing the Hester name, I’m willing to bet.

can ya’ll imagine the shit TALCOTT had to live through? THE BOY IS CANONLY 8 YEARS OLD AND HE WENT THROUGH TRAUMATIZING SHIT AND IRIS CANNOT FUCKIN STAND THAT FACT

tl;dr iris thinks caligo is the biggest piece of sentient rancid shit-garbage to walk the face of eos and if you think she HASNT thought about killing him a million ways with her bare. fuckin. hands. ever since that day in Lestallum, you’re dead wrong 

caligo was gonna catch those hands-- theyre rated CUAF for Caligo’s Ugly Ass Face

-please imagine though?? iris in a situation like that one ep of A:TLA with Katara’s Life-Changing Field Trip with Zuko. mid-WoR timeline, with Caligo being the man she’s hunting down.

except iris doesnt do the right thing

well, she does. but what she considers the right thing is avenging Jared’s death

she’s gonna do it with her bare hands and she’s not going to show that motherfucker any hint mercy whatsoever

bonus AU idea thing: this was supposed to be a main ending for my daemon!iris verse where hunting down and killing caligo would be the last thing she does before she has cor kill her because the scourge has already turned her into a partial daemon - “don’t do it iris, you’ll become a monster just like him” “i already am one, shut the fuck your mouth”

-clearly half the above stuff won’t happen anymore because ravus already took care of that scummy asswipe but can yall imagine the relief iris would have knowing caligo’s dead?

she catches herself wondering if it’s bad that she’s thinking about how unsatisfying his death was. he shouldve died brutally, the same way jared did

she also kind of wishes she’d been the one to kill caligo

honestly, should anyone else hurt what’s left of her family, they better pick a god and pray

-ugh canon verse though. i can imagine her still having that burning hatred for caligo, quietly holding onto it all these years, it being one of the main motivators that keeps her determined to become a skilled hunter

only for ignis so suddenly mention it one day ever so casually, ‘oh, right, commander ravus stabbed this massive dickwad back in Altissia, the one who caused us trouble in Lestallum years ag--’

[iris voice, shrill] ‘HE STABBED WHO???’

-alternate ending/verse tho?? where ravus also lives and meets up with the bros back in the Lucis region and mentions caligo’s death and this fuckin 16yo girl is just rejoicing in the background with noise-makers and confetti. 

just kidding she’s likely an emotional wreck bc her grandfather’s finally been avenged

but also, what a shame she didn’t get to see caligo suffer. or that he died too quickly. 

still. thanks ravus. you the real MVP

iris knowing about caligo’s death early before the WoR but that hatred and fear and anguish she felt about jared’s murder still undyingly burns within her, and it’s enough to fuel her to train hard so that no one else falls victim to that kind of unlawful brutality 

[sparkinsidewrites]

The Devil Inside - Chapter Seven

Title: The Devil Inside

Chapter: 7/18

Character/Pairing: Davey Havok/Adam Carson; Adam Carson/OFC

Genre: Angst

Rating: Explicit

Summary:  Faith and fear are two of the strongest forces in our lives. Adam had never questioned himself or his beliefs. But what happens when he stumbles across his greatest temptation in the eyes of another man? Written with Havoksangel.

Authors Notes/Warnings:  Nothing in this piece ever happened. I claim no ownership nor do I make any sort of profit from this, other than pride and a sense of amusement.

SEVEN

He shouldn't have gone in today, Adam knew that. How he'd managed to make it through his class without completely falling apart, he still didn't quite grasp. A tense sigh fell from his lips as he gripped the wheel in his hands tightly. He hadn't been able to focus on much of anything, his mind a jumbled mess of thought and emotion.

What happened to him? What did he do to deserve to have his life ripped apart before his very eyes? He hated himself. Hated the monster he'd become. He'd hurt Aubrey...He could have...Oh God, he'd hurt her, betrayed her. He'd let Davey use him. Let him touch him, make him feel things he shouldn't feel. And he'd wanted it. Needed it. He still did. God, what was wrong with him?

Davey walked down the sidewalk towards the bookstore. After what had happened between him and Adam the night before, his reaction to being kicked out of the classroom right after sex, he needed something to keep his mind off of things. He never got hurt when he did things like this, but this time, he actual felt something. He couldn’t explain it, nor did he want to. He didn’t know a thing about Adam besides the fact that he looked liked he would be a fun challenge, but the challenge was starting to turn things on him and he seemed powerless to stop it.

The light turned green, the shrill honk behind him pulling him out of his mind for the moment, and Adam eased his car into the intersection. Just a few more lights and he'd be on his street. Then he could lock himself in his studio and forget. He wanted to forget. Wanted to disappear. After all he'd done... A flash of dark hair from the sidewalk caught his eye.

Whipping his head around violently, his eyes fell on Davey's form as he disappeared into the bookstore. Adam's blood boiled, his body reacting just as strongly. Davey. He was the reason everything in Adam’s life was broken. He'd done this to him. "Not anymore," Adam hissed, pulling the car violently against the curb and shutting off the engine.

Briskly, he made his way across the street and into the bookstore, eyes locking on Davey as he disappeared into a row of books.

Davey grabbed a book from the shelf and turned it over to read the back, running his fingers through his hair with his free hand. Taking a deep breath, he put it back and grabbed another. Nothing seemed to grab his interest. A sigh fell from his lips. He needed to pull himself together.

Adam watched Davey thumb through the books on the shelf, his anger growing steadily. How dare he act as though everything was fine? After all that he'd done to him. Silently, Adam made his way behind Davey, his hand falling roughly on his shoulder. "I need to talk to you," he hissed, his voice low and cold.

Davey jumped and turned his head, coming face to face and nearly mouth to mouth with Adam. His eyes scanned his face, from his lips to his eyes and locked on him. He was trying desperately to think of something to say, some smart ass comment, but he had nothing. What was wrong with him?

Eyes darkening, Adam tightened his grip on Davey's shoulder, pulling him behind him as he made his way towards the side entrance. A million thoughts echoed through his mind. He refused to think about just how firm and strong the muscles beneath his fingers felt. Or the way Davey's soft, alluring scent sent his senses reeling. No, he was here to show Davey once and for all that he couldn't fuck with his life. That he didn't control him.

Davey whimpered a bit and dropped the book as he was pulled outside of the door. "Adam, let me go. You're hurting me."

Stoutly ignoring Davey's protests, Adam continued to lead them both towards the side entrance and out into the alley. Once the door shut behind him, he whipped around, standing face to face with Davey once more. His eyes dark and seething. "You fucking arrogant piece of shit," he hissed, pushing Davey back from him.

Davey stared at him, shocked. He knew Adam had a temper, he could sense it in the defiance he’d shown the night before, but he never really expected to see it. Pulling his thoughts together, he pushed Adam back. "What the fuck is your problem? We have nothing to do with each other. Not anymore."

"What the fuck is my problem?!" Adam posed, laughing angrily, "What the fuck is yours?! You whore yourself around, manipulate people and for what? A quick fuck? Are you really that fucking desperate to get laid? Your hand not good enough, pretty boy?" He spat each word out, hands shaking at his sides. "I guess tricking people into fucking you is the only way you can get attention, isn't it? I'm not surprised. Who'd want a filthy whore like you?"

Davey looked at Adam, eyes blazing. Each word Adam hurled at him cut him deeper than he cared to admit, but he didn’t dare let him know this. He swallowed hard and moved until he was chest to chest with Adam. "You wanted this whore and you still do."

"Don't flatter yourself," Adam hissed, "It isn't very becoming. You'd love to think every man in this world wants you, wouldn't you? Does it make you feel special, David? Important? I guess the only thing you're good at is using your dick. and spreading your legs. But a whore has to make a living somehow, am I right?"

Davey pushed him hard against the wall on the opposite of the bookstore and held him there. "Fuck you. If you didn’t want it, you wouldn’t have let me," Davey snapped, glaring. "You're just angry because you enjoyed it and you’re even angrier that you want it again."

Adam swallowed thickly, trying his best to ignore the blistering heat of Davey's body so close to his. Davey's words shook him to his core, spurring on his anger. No. "Think what you want, you disgusting piece of shit." Violently, he shoved Davey off of him, his chest heaving, eyes glowing with anger, "I could do so much better than a lowly whore like you. I have done so much better. Why don't you just run along and find someone else to spread your legs for?"

Davey pushed Adam back against the wall a second time. "Then why the fuck are you here?" His eyes were almost black and staring straight into Adam's. "If I am so filthy and disgusting, why are you here? We're done. Go back to your perfect fucking life with Aubrey and leave this whore alone," he said, his voice cracking a bit. Adam's words stung.

Adam swallowed thickly, faltering for a moment, the mention of Aubrey's name tugging at his heart. "To make sure you know your place. To make sure you don't decide to come crawling back," he hissed, shoving Davey forcefully against the wall. The anger in his eyes shaking Adam to the core, sending a flicker of desire coursing though him. Davey was stunning like this. Hair tousled, eyes black, lips part, his chest heaving.

Davey grabbed Adam by the wrist and jerked him closer. "If you push me one more time..."

"You'll what, David?" Adam hissed, his voice defiant though he could barely think straight with Davey's hard, warm body so close to his. Oh fuck.

Davey's chest heaved and he licked his lips. His eyes were still locked on Adam's. Violently, Davey crushed his lips against his, moaning softly at first contact.

Adam stumbled backwards in shock as Davey's lips slammed against his. Pleasure and desire coursed through him. Roughly, his fingers tangled in Davey's hair, pulling their bodies flush against one another. He couldn't think about what he was doing or he'd crack. No, he just had to feel. And he was certainty feeling quite a bit.

Forcefully, he ground his erection against Davey's thigh, moaning at the contact. Oh fuck. This man would be the death of him.

Feeling Adam so close, knowing that he was the one who'd made them that way, sent a shiver up Davey's spine. Yes, he'd initiated the kiss, but Adam allowed it to continue. That meant something. Davey wanted him so bad he couldn’t stand it, but he was never one to do this with the same person twice. It was safer that way.

He rolled his hips against Adam's to show that he was in a similar state and pushed him against the brick wall again. The thought that they were in broad daylight behind a building didn’t faze him. All he wanted was Adam.

A sharp hiss fell from his lips as Adam felt Davey's cock rubbing roughly against his own thigh. Davey was hard. Davey wanted him. He wanted Davey. He couldn't think past that. He wouldn't let himself. A gasp of surprise erupted from his throat as he felt his back slam against the cold brick of the wall behind him.

Davey tore his mouth from Adam's and moved down to his the hollow of his throat. He jerked the neck of Adam's shirt to the side to kiss and bite his collar bone. He tasted so good, Davey could barely stand it.

Tangling his fingers tighter in Davey's hair, Adam tossed his head back moaning and whimpering as Davey bit and sucked at his throat. God, it felt divine. Pleasure wracked his body. "Fuck," he hissed, his cock throbbing in his jeans. He wasn't going to survive this.

Davey slowly descended down Adam's body, pulling the hem of his shirt up as he hit his knees in front of him. His mouth viciously attacked Adam's stomach as his hands worked open his belt and jeans. He wanted him. Wanted to taste him.

Adam's mind was reeling. Fuck, Davey was going to..."Oh fuck," he hissed, his head falling back against the wall behind him. The feel of Davey's lips on the heated skin of his abdomen and his hands working deftly on his pants was nearly too much for Adam. He needed this. Needed to feel the warm, wet, slick heat of Davey's mouth around him. Taking him in. Driving him wild. His hips bucked violently against Davey. Oh God, he wasn't going to survive this.

Davey looked up at Adam as he pulled his pants over his hips. He didn’t want there to be any objections. Not this time. Adam had to want this.

"Fuck," Adam hissed again, hips bucking against Davey's hands. His eyes were shut tightly, his chest heaving.

Davey reached in and pulled Adam's cock out of his boxers. His breath was hot on it as he leaned forward and took Adam into his mouth. He wasted no time in finding a rhythm that suited him; fast with soft moans every other descent.

A strangled moan fell from Adam's lips as Davey worked him. With every moan Davey released, Adam felt a violent shiver race through his body. God, he was so close and Davey was simply too good at this. Tangling his fingers tighter in Davey's hair, his hips bucked more and more violently against his mouth.

Davey splayed both hands across Adam's hips and pressed him against the wall to keep him from bucking. He pulled back just enough to suck on the throbbing head of Adam's cock before relaxing his throat to take him completely in.

Oh God. This was it, Davey was trying to kill him. Sharp hisses and heady moans fell from Adam's lips as he felt the head of his cock brush the back of Davey's silken throat. "Fuck. Oh fuck," he hissed. He wasn't going to last.

White hot sparks crackled through him and his vision clouded slightly. Whimpering, he pulsed helplessly into Davey's mouth, his back arching violently off the wall.

Davey moaned and swallowed him, taking in every drop he could. Adam tasted better than Davey had anticipated. He slid down his shaft and back until he was sure Adam was done and then pulled off of him, sitting back on his feet to catch his breath. Licking his lips, he looked up.

Adam panted, his chest heaving. Warmth and contentment flooded through him, his body heavy and numb. The cool air against his cock sent a shiver down his spine. Swallowing thickly, Adam slowly opened his eyes.

Davey locked eyes with him, wondering if he was going to be shoved away again. He didn’t know if he could handle that.

Guilt flooded through Adam once more as his eyes fell upon Davey's. No. Oh God. Please no. Panicking, he jerked back, hastily shoving himself back into his boxers and yanking his pants back up his hips. Aubrey's face flashed through his thoughts. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

Davey didn’t say a word. He turned his head to the side and pushed up to stand. He couldn’t look at Adam now and he knew it was only a matter of time before he was called a whore for the hundredth time that day. He didn’t need to hear it again.

Without a word, Adam fled from the alley. A million thoughts flooding through his mind. What had he done? Fuck, what had he done?

Davey turned to watch him leave, tears filling his eyes. He was done. He was done being used and not being the one in control. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. The way he was feeling right now was the reason he never let these things get this far and why he never returned for a second rendezvous. He was just done with this whole situation. He couldn’t do this anymore.

Sprinting across the street blindly, Adam tossed himself in his car. His chest heaved and a strangled sob feel from his lips as his head feel against the steering wheel. He was sick. Disgusting. He wanted Davey. Wanted to fuck him. Wanted to be fucked by him. This was wrong. This wasn't how he was supposed to feel. What he was supposed to want. Oh God. His mind flashed once again to Aubrey. He'd betrayed her again. He'd let himself betray her. Oh God. What was he going to do? What the fuck was he going to do?