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sparkinsidewrites · 4 years

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Shadows Mind: Murder - Prelude part one

Title: Shadows Mind: Murder

Chapter: 1/?

Character/Pairing: Adam Carson/OFC; Hunter Burgan/Jade Puget; Davey Havok

Genre: Angst; AU

Rating: T

Summary: In a time of devestating war and destruction, five young children witnessed their world come crashing down before them. Twenty years later, they have risen above the chaos to lead their once war-torn land, Allyria, into an era of peace. But the serenity they have brought may only be the calm before the storm as a powerful force from beyond their kingdom threatens to tear their world, their kingdom and their lives apart. Can they rise above the wreckage or will Allyria fall into the darkness building steadily on the horizon? Written with FadingStar. In-Complete

Authors Notes/Warnings: Nothing in this piece ever happened. I claim no ownership nor do I make any sort of profit from this, other than pride and a sense of amusement. Graphic depictions of violence. Death.

Prelude 12

“Is it coming along well, love?” a soft voice asked. A boy, slender and young, most likely twelve, at first sight, looked up and around from where he was seated with a book in his lap, back pressed against a rather large oak tree. The boy, named David, but more commonly called Davey, smiled at the approaching figure of a woman. By the small mouth, lean angular features, and river of midnight tresses that they shared, it was easy to see that the two were related, the only real differences being in their builds, sexuality, and eye color. Davey’s eyes were brown, soft and quiet, like that of a doe’s, while the woman’s were a bright, confident, green.

“Very well, mother,” Davey told her. He had a soft voice, again something that seemed to have been given to him by the woman standing above, as quiet as his eyes and just as warm, when he wanted it to be. Right now, as he beamed up at his mother, he did indeed desire that quality, and gave it to her. Those who knew this boy would sometimes say they felt privileged for that warmth, it could be that impassioned, at times. “I’ve gotten nearly a quarter’s way through it since this morning.”

“That’s very good, David,” she said, showing yet another trait her son had received through her, as she gave him back the warmth of his smile with her own. “But do you understand what you have read?” She smoothed back her simple but nicely tailored skirts as she sat down cordially beside her boy in the soft spring grass. Watching her, Davey, even after so many years, could not help but to be awed with almost every move that his mother made. She exuded some sort of unearthly grace, like there were no bones in her body, just some sort of poetry of blood, sinew, and elegance that made even a breath by her seem artistic. Her large, doll-like, yet soul piercing eyes, met his, telling her son she expected a good answer.

“I think what Master Thais is to convey to the reader is that reason alone cannot guide one through life,” Davey said, closing up his book to show he was not drawing any knowledge from it. Or at least he was giving her his own interpretation of what the knowledge within the text. “That you have to also allow your emotions and instincts to lead you. That you should embrace both mortality and divinity to become a person who is complete with the world.”

“And is that a possible?” she asked, a grin lighting her emerald eyes. “Can a human perceive with all of those things? Think for themselves in that way, David?”

Davey regarded her in silence, knowing this was a test. Marcielle Marchand was always giving him these little tests, it was her way of keeping his mind sharp, shaping it to be as wise as her own. And Marcielle, as the headwoman for their little seaport village, was very wise indeed. She had to prove it often enough, and not only just because her position required it, but because her sex coupled with it demanded it. Marcielle had proven that her title was well given many times, gaining respect from even the harshest of her male critics within Mendel Cove.

“Well, I believe that, many people are capable of that, Mother,” he began after thoughtful silence. “Really, no one, who is born with the necessary mental position, is not capable of it. The problem, however, is that many people do not wish to be capable of it and ignore the gift of their conscious.”

Davey resisted a complacent smile as his mother quirked a slender ebony brow at those words. Being self–assured, he reminded, himself, was the first step to self–destruction. Marcielle had ingrained that within his mind from the cradle, and he would not be so foolhardy to forget it now. Still though, he allowed himself to be just the tiniest bit pleased on the inside that he had given her an answer she both liked and had not fully expected him to speak.

“Hmm...explain your thesis, son,” she finally said, Davey could see, with glee, she too was trying to hide a smile, one of pride. Pride was also a brick on the roadway of self–destruction.

“Generally, people don’t want to possess this capability because it’s just easier for them to ignore it,” he said. “Human beings, by nature, find more reason and pleasure by taking the easiest path in life. What path in life is easier than allowing their conscious to be lead? It’s a point proven in the fabric of government, religion, and war. Without willing followers and leaders then not one of those institutions would be possible in the slightest.”

Marcielle gazed at her son for several more long moments, her eyes guarded and secretive as they ever were. Just when Davey had begun to doubt himself though, she was smiling again, gently, just a touch of pride in her verdant irises. She reached up to pass a long fingered hand through his black tresses.

“Your answer is good,” Marcielle said, a smile, as bright and warm as the delicate May sunshine that flooded the little field in which they sat. “I daresay your father would be inclined to agree with you.”

Davey blushed a little from the compliment. His father, a scholar, had died when he was barely two. Lyell had been a man greatly respected in the cove for his intellect, greatly respected along the whole Sapphire Coast, his mother had always loved to tell the story of the day one of great Lords came to Mendel Cove, seeking Lyell’s advice. In all truth, Davey greatly enjoyed that tale as well, it was one of those eternally aching, secret, wishes that many keep to converse with his father, to know the man he had been. But it was one that he could never have, save for his dreams, so he tried his best not to contemplate it very much. He didn’t believe in false hopes.

“You know,” his mother spoke, jerking him from his inner musings. “In all honesty, I didn’t expect you to be here, doing your school work today.”

It was Davey’s turn to raise a single black eyebrow. “And why is that?” he questioned. “Have I ever disobeyed you before, when it came to my studies, Mother?”

“No, you’ve never really disobeyed me yet,” she told him, an amused light in her eyes keeping her plush red lips turned up. “But I simply told you that this book would be your reading for the day, my love. I told you not a word about finishing it. It’s such a lovely day, I did not actually think you would have the restraint to sit here and read it.” His mother’s eyes flicked towards the harbor that the little field which they sat in, overlooked.

Davey smiled as he finally caught the gist of her words. On a day like today a twelve year old such as Davey should very much be sailing down the coast with his friends in his close companion, Adam’s, little boat. The thought had indeed passed his mind, but there were circumstances beyond his control that prevented the plan. Of which he told his mother.

“Hunter’s father needed help down at his workshop,” he explained. “Jade’s little brother ran off and his mother sent him off to fetch him. Kali had a row with her mother this morning, so the priestess ordered her to her rooms all day. Adam said it wouldn’t be any fun with just the two of us, so he went to spend time with his father. There was nothing else for me to do, so...” he raised his book with a chuckle that his mother joined in with.

“Ah, well, perhaps you should go and see if Rissa has let Kali out then?” Marcielle suggested, continuing to preen her boy’s midnight locks. “Or just track her down, because I assure you she is out.” His mother gave a small laugh. “I saw her headed towards the practice yards. I think her intentions were to convince Adam to spar. A pity, her mother had set her hair up in such a lovely little plait.”

Davey laughed outright at the thought of Kali with her hair neatly arranged, it did not suit his friend at all and he decided at once he must see if it were true. It would be a wonderful thing to tease her over if it was.

“Go on,” his mother chuckled, prying the book gingerly from his fingertips. “Go, have fun with your friends, David. Childhood doesn’t last long, my love.” Davey smiled at his mother, adoring her all the more for her generosity and understanding as much for her unthinking grace, and leaned into kiss her on the cheek.

“Thank you, Mother,” he told her sincerely after pulling away and standing.

“You’re welcome, dear,” she told him with equal love in her eyes. Her smile became playful as she took the book and gave him a gentle swat on the rear. “Now off with you! Don’t give me time to rethink my offer, child.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he laughed, and without another thought or word had started running towards the slope of the cliff, the gentle curve that separated away from the rock face on it’s left side.

Marcielle watched her only child go, beaming in a way that only a happy mother could. She was right, she knew, childhood would not last long for her boy.

Across town, the wide blue eyes of another boy stared in wonder at the man seated before him, listening intently to the tale falling from his lips. Behind him the light crackle of the fire filled the room. Each word that filled the air captivated him. It didn’t matter that he had heard them a hundred times over. Every time they seemed to take a on a new life, they changed and for that reason alone, Adam Carson would sit and listen to them a hundred times over again.

At just barely thirteen years old, Adam had spent his entire life in the small seaside village of Mendel Cove, dreaming of the people and lands his father had spoken of in his stories. He wanted nothing more than to make his way into the world, to find the honor and the glory his father spoke of. To become a soldier as his father had been. When he wasn’t helping his father run the small, but successful, shop in the center of the village, he was in the training fields in the soldier’s fort with anyone willing to spar.

More often than not, his sparing partner were his friends Hunter and Kali. He had known both for as long as he could remember. They had spent many a summer’s day sneaking off to the training fields along with their less combative friends, Davey and Jade, often times staying there until the sun began to set over the rolling waves of the sea, sparring and chasing each other around the archery targets. The soldiers still occupying the fort had been long time friends with Adam’s father and simply laughed off the children’s antics.

Truth be told, Adam enjoyed sparring with Kali far better than he did with the rest of their small group. The only girl in their midst, Kali was light and quick on her feet, she made him work twice as hard, never let him off his guard, and he was the better fighter for it. With each practice, it became apparent, within their little group, that Kali and Adam were going to be the ones truly excelling at the combative arts.

Garret Carson knew of his son’s activities, and while he did not approve, he knew there was little he could do to stop him. Adam had inherited his mother’s stubbornness and determination, something Garret both cherished and cursed. Lisette Carson had been a strong-willed and passionate woman., that was one of the many reasons Garret had fallen in love with her. She was full of bright ideas and big dreams, helping her husband build his shop and working there each and everyday, morning til dusk even after she had found out she was with child.

Lisette had passed away shortly after giving birth to their tiny son and Garret had taken it harder than any had expected. For the first few months of his young child’s life, he barely spent a moment’s time with the boy, throwing himself into the shop. Rissa, Kali’s mother had acted both as wet nurse and mother in that time. As priestess and a close friend of both Lisette and Garret, she could see no other path for herself.

As the months slowly passed by, Garret began to warm to his son, his only remaining link to the woman he cherished. He watched his son grow into a bright and active child, questioning and full of life as his mother had been. And Garret supported and encouraged that quality in him. It would serve him well as he grew, though he did his best to instil the importance of family, of loyalty to those you love, in Adam’s mind. He had learned the hard way just how quickly life could be snatched away.

“Adam,” the soft voice of a young boy echoed from beyond the door, accompanied by several steady knocks. Garret paused his tale, looking up thoughtfully at the boy before him. With a nod, Adam pulled himself to his feet, lumbering quickly to the door. With a steady tug, pulled it open to discover his friend, Davey, staring at him with his signature smile.

“You finally pulled your nose out of that book,” Adam teased. It was well known, amongst the group, that the boy standing before him absorbed knowledge like a sponge, reading any and everything his mother placed in front of him. When he was able to pull himself away, even for a moment, his friends were there tease him, lovingly of course, about it.

Davey simply cocked his eyebrow. “At least I can read,” he countered with a knowing smirk.

“Oh hush, you.” It was not to say that Adam did not have the ability to read, he simply saw little value in it. He could read the orders at the shop and the signs along the town, but beyond that he saw no use for reading. He would be a soldier, what did he need books for?

“I think that will conclude our tale for the time being,” Garret called from inside the darkened cottage. Adam turned quickly towards his father, saddened to not hear the conclusion of the story, but hopeful that he would be allowed to head out, even for a few hours. “You boys go and entertain yourselves, but mind my boat, you hear. If she comes back maimed, you will both get a beating neither of you have ever dreamed of.” This was added with a smile, though the boys faces had grown considerably paler. “And mind you to keep Kali out of trouble, I know she’ll be heading out with you. She has that knack of falling into it, though sometimes I wonder if it’s the company she keeps.” Garret raised a knowing eyebrow.

Adam and Davey both chuckled nervously before uttering “Yes sirs” and scrambling out the door into the bright light of the village square. After several rapid blinks, Adam’s eyes adjusted to the severe and sudden change of light. “Do you know if Kali’s made her way out of her mother’s clutches yet?” he questioned, his eyes falling upon his shorter companion. “What exactly happened this time?”

“Most likely. You know Kali, she’s probably heading our way as we speak,” He let loose a chuckle, “I fear Priestess Rissa’s tried to put her in a dress again.”

Adam chuckled at that as well, “I’ve yet to see Kali in a dress and I think I’ll die the day I do.”

“It will certainly be a surprise,” Davey chuckled along with his friend. A comfortable silence fell over the two boys as they made their way into the town.

“Do you think we can wrestle Hunter away from his father for a few hours?”

“We could try,” Davey answered with a shrug, “Maybe we can catch up with Jade as well, help him track down that infernal pain in the side he calls a brother.”

“Lord help Smith when Jade finds him,” Adam added, shaking his head, “He’s probably furious.”

“He certainly seemed that way when earlier. I don’t even think he waved us goodbye.”

“Aye, we’ll find them soon enough,” Adam added as the two boys continued down the dirt and cobblestoned path leading through the heart of their village, both their minds set on the adventures this day would bring.

“Damn, her,” a very agitated young girl swore as she looked at her neatly braided and arranged mass of black hair in the dingy mirror that had been set up in her room. She screwed up her pretty face, violet eyes snapping at the image created with the hairstyle. “Damn her!” Her fists, though small, clenched and unclenched menacingly as she looked from her laughable hair in the mirror, to the corner of the room where very recently a freshly stitched lavender dress had been hung over the back of a chair. Kalika Sirenidae, more commonly called Kali, was not a happy girl that day.

She looked out her window, past the sycamore that had grown close to the cottage, over the town square, and to the peacefully lapping waves of the sea. With a pout, she remembered where she was supposed to be at the moment, sailing close along the shore in her friend’s boat. Supposed to be at least, but Kali’s plans had altered after a fight with her mother in regards to her hoydenish nature. Priestess Rissa had informed her only child that she was to start acting like a proper young woman, and stop running amuck with the group of boys she had known all her life as well as desist with her combat studies down at the soldier’s fort. Kali cared nothing for her mother’s commands and told her so quite emphatically, which, seeing as she had been locked in her bedroom until she agreed to wear the dress, had not been received by the Priestess so warmly.

Kali growled deep in her throat at the lilac monstrosity in the corner of her room, as if it silently mocked her, advocating itself as the source of her plight. The violet eyed girl agreed with it, and, deciding to pay both it and her mother back, ran to pull on her breeches and boots. She knew as soon as she started to pull her clothes on that this probably was not one of her better, more prudent ideas. She would get caught, she always did, but she would do it nonetheless, and probably would many times in the future. Kali wasn’t always careful, no, but she had enough guts to make up for it at times.

Kali had just finished lacing her boots and was about to climb out her window into the sycamore, when a silvery flash on her bedside table caught her eye. The girl almost kicked herself for forgetting the object, a long dagger in a plain sheath, oddly enough given to her by her mother. It was Kali’s most treasured possession and she’d been taught to use it, though the opportunity to do so had yet to arise. Whether or not she ever wanted to have that opportunity, she didn’t know, but she buckled it to her waist nonetheless before climbing out onto her widow ledge and leaping out, grabbing hold of the nearest branch.

This was a practice the Priestess’ daughter was more than accustomed to, and next to her friend, Jade, who was occasionally called Squirrel for his tree climbing savvy, she was the best. In a matter of seconds, Kali had scuttled from limb to limb, until she was within range of the ground. With one last heave of her body, she dropped down to the earth, landing like a cat on her heels and palms. Well, almost, Kali hadn’t been paying attention to where her hands went and felt the skin on the heel of her right palm split as a rather sharp rock she hadn’t noticed buried itself into the flesh there.

Giving a slight hiss, she jumped up, picking the rocks and gravel away from the wound to look it over. It was a nice gash, deep and trickling with crimson to stain down her wrist and shirt sleeve. If she had been a normal twelve year old girl she would have been crying and running to her mother to fix it. Kali, however, was not a very normal girl, proven by her more than strange eyes, hair, and now, by the fact that the skin on her hand was starting to pull itself together.

Kali was not sure how she could do this, how her body would do this to itself, mend on its own so fast, but it very well did. Once when she was five, she had spilled hot oil from the temple alter all over herself, almost everyone was sure she was going to be blind, if not scarred for life, but that hadn’t happened at all. The skin had bubbled and cracked and within an hour’s time, the bloody, raised, flesh had been replaced by scar tissue, by the following morning, the skin was as smooth as nothing had ever happened. It might have very well been dismissed as a dream, if she had not seen her body repair itself on later dates. She had asked her mother about this thing, about many things, thinking perhaps it had to do with her father, no one save for Priestess Rissa knew who he was, but her mother was tight–lipped about it. Kali knew no more about why her eyes were violet, or why purple tendrils grew amidst the black in her hair, or why her body could do what it did, than any one else. Her mother always said it would be something she would hear when she was older. The Priestess had been saying that since Kali was two, and the girl, needless to say, had grown tired of the runabout. Long ago Kali had accepted she was less than normal, her friends accepted it, and so she stopped thinking about it. Or at least she stopped admitting to do so.

When the skin on her hand had scabbed together nicely Kali dusted herself off, and looked about. No one of importance who might alert her mother to her departure seemed to be standing about, so she took off from beneath the sycamore tree at a sprint, a destination already in mind. Adam would be free, he was always free, and when she had gotten hold of him perhaps they could convince Davey to put his book down for awhile. After they got Davey then they could run by Hunter’s and help him finish his many chores, and after that track down Jade, who could be across the countryside, looking for Smith, and help him out. After that Kali estimated they should have close to until sunset to do as they pleased.

Slinking down the streets she, tried to be as inconspicuous as possible, though with her hair and the fact that it was her she was probably a bit down on her luck already. But save for the fact that she thought she saw Marcielle Marchand looking at her as she jogged down the street, away from the temple and it’s adjacent cottage that she shared with her mother, Kali remained virtually unnoticed as any other day. She was quite proud of that fact, and her head became a little bit stuck in the clouds as she ran along, remaining there, unnoticing of the world around her, until she literally turned about a corner and ran into her destination.

Adam gave a deep “oomph!” as Kali’s lithe frame hit his lanky one, stumbling back a few paces at the collision while Kali herself nearly bounced back on her rear. Nearly, she was saved from that humiliation (and soreness) by the quick thinking of the other half of her goal. Quicker than a blink Davey had skittered past the stumbling Adam to grab hold of her wrist, and giving a tug that was surprisingly strong for a boy of his size, pulled her upright. Kali stumbled a bit from the force of that, but was caught again, as Adam reached out to lay a hand on both her and Davey’s shoulders, steadying her and keeping her from knocking into the black haired boy.

The three looked at one another for a few moments as they regained both composure and balance before cracking smiles and beginning to laugh, Adam half keeling over as he held his belly.

“You’re a real wreck, Kal, you know that right?” the tallest of the boys laughed, looking up with mirthful tears in his eyes at his sole female companion.

“You mean she causes them,” Davey chuckled, breathlessly happy himself.

“Oh hush, the both of you!” Kali tried to sound stern, but felt the futility of the attempt due to the smile playing across her lips.

“My gods!” Adam suddenly gasped, making both his friends, jump, the smiles disappearing from their faces.

“What?” Davey and Kali chorused together, slight alarm ringing in their eyes.

“Kal—what in the name of the gods–your hair!” Adam exclaimed, right before holding his stomach as he began to laugh again, Davey took a quick look at Kali before joining him.

Kali’s purple eyes lit up with a spark of that hellfire she’d shown to her mother just that morning, remembering she hadn’t bothered to take her hair out of it’s elaborate plate before sneaking out, and scowled at her friends, Adam in particular. While Davey at least tried to stop, Adam only began to giggle more, breaking the last straw upon the girl’s back. With a rather loud roar, she leapt upon Adam, taking them both to the ground as she began to pummel him. Davey moved out of the way of the ball his two friends became as they tumbled, laughing as they started throwing punches at one another.

“To hell with you, Carson!” she shrieked as she hit. “I didn’t do this to myself you know!”

“Nope, your mummy did!” he cackled, blocking some hits while returning others.

“Bastard!” she growled.

“You would know!” he taunted back.

“Okay enough, you two!” Davey said, reaching down to grab their hands, fingers balled into fists ready to smash into one another. Davey’s touch calmed them both immediately, and they relaxed, Adam allowing his hands to fall to his sides, while Kali jerked hers away. There was tense silence for few seconds as Adam lay on the ground, Kali straddling his waist, glaring down at his chest, Davey watching them both with his arms crossed. Finally Adam gave a sigh and sat up, and in one quick motion passed his hand through Kali’s disheveled hair, his hand returning with the tie that held it up on the end. Laying the tie down he ran the hand back through her violet and jet mange, tousling so that it was wild about her face.

“There,” he said with a half smile, leaning up further to replace the tie in a haphazard fashion, and very Kali way, about her locks. He pulled a few stray tresses down into her eyes, obscuring her piercing violet gaze just a bit. “Much better. Girl hair doesn’t suit you, Kal.”

Kali grinned. “Yeah I know,” she giggled before jumping up. She held out her hands to him, and Adam accepted them, allowing the girl to pull him onto his feet.

Davey smiled, knowing things were, as always, very fine between Kali and Adam, as they turned grins upon him. “Come on,” he said beckoning with his left hand. “We’ve still got Hunter and Jade to collect yet, don’t we?”

“Ugh–huh!” both his friends laughed in unison before all three began a run up the cobblestone street, back the way Kali had come along. The sole girl among the friends smiled as she sprinted between Adam and Davey, she was not going to become a proper young lady today.

The wooden box dug heavily into his tiny shoulder, a grimace of pain flashing through his blue eyes. He was not a slight boy by any means, but at twelve years old, Hunter Burgan was stronger than some of the boys twice his age. This, he did not doubt, came from the hours he spent working along side his father, Samien, in the small carpentry shop he owned on the outskirts of the village.

Work was demanding and often times straining for the young boy, but Hunter knew that by doing this, he was helping to put food on his family’s table. And with the way times were, his family needed all the help they could possibly get.

Hard times had fallen on the Burgan household after Hunter’s mother, Kira, had fallen ill shortly after her son’s first year of life. At the time, none were sure the young wife and mother would survive, but Samien had never given up hope on the woman he loved. He poured nearly all of their savings into finding a cure, a treatment, anything for his wife.

Countless doctors and months later, his prayers were finally answered. Though the illness had left Kira unable to bear more children or even carry on the working life she had once lead, she was alive. But things, life, had forever been altered for the young family. Money was scarce and with the care Kira still required, they barely earned enough to keep food on the table. This burden fell heavily on both Samien and young Hunter’s shoulders.

From the time Hunter was able to walk on his own, he worked to help his father in the shop. Little things at first, greeting customers, holding tools. But as he grew, so did his tasks. Now he worked along side his father on many of his jobs. In what little spare time he could find, Hunter was off sparring and playing with his friends.

The five of them had done so for as long as the young boy could remember. And it was with them that Hunter felt most at ease. He could escape the frustration and tension that settled around the Burgan household like a dense fog. Though he never fully understood it, it was something Hunter could not deny. He could see it in his father’s eyes, feel it in his mother’s silence, in the way they spoke to one another.

With a grimace, he placed the box heavily down on the workbench next to his father. The man sat, his entire attention focused on the small chest before him. It was a wedding gift for the daughter of one of the villages prominent families. The detail requested of the piece had kept Samien locked in his shop for the past several days, only emerging when his body could no longer stand the lack of food or sleep. But the pay was quite well, and for the Samien would suffer through the frustration. That pay was so desperately needed.

“I’ve finished the box,” Hunter whispered softly, knowing that by speaking now he risked breaking his father’s concentration and invoking the short temper he had so acutely developed.

“Leave it be, son,” his father only mumbled in reply. The last thing he wanted to do was drag his only child into this mess. Into something he had little control over.

Hunter merely nodded, turning from the workbench and heading back to the far corner of the shop to return to the few other pieces his father had asked for his help in finishing. As he passed by the window, he watched the sun beam down on the people passing by, wishing, not for the first time, that he could be outside with them, enjoying the day. But he knew that was impossible and though he hated that fact, he understood.

Settling himself at his own small desk, Hunter turned his attention to the shelf sitting before him. He allowed himself to become engrossed with his work, barely pausing when he heard the door from to the shop open softly.

“Samien,” the soft voice of his mother filled the quiet shop. His father merely grunted in return, his attention focused solely on the task before him. But Hunter could sense a change in the room. The all to familiar tension that seemed to radiate around them. “Samien,” she called again.

He turned to face the doorway, eyes falling on his wife’s frail form, questioning why she had come in the first place. She hated that stare. Hunter forced himself to focus more intently on the piece before him, trying with all his might to block out the world around him. Block out the tension surrounding him.

“You’ve been in this room all day....I thought you might want to come back to the house for something to eat. To get a bit of fresh air,” she posed softly. “You’re always cooped up in here.”

“I’m here because I’ve got no other choice, Kira. We need to eat and we can’t very well do that without money.” His voice was soft and even, but there was little mistaking the frustration in it.

Kira physically shrunk backwards at his verbal assault, knowing what role she and her illness played in it. “I was merely suggesting. Plus it would give the boy a chance to run around for a bit. He needs to be a child. He only has so many years of childhood left, you can’t keep him cooped up in here forever.”

Hunter froze at her words, his mind wandering back several hours. Kali, Adam, and Davey had all come by, smiling and ready to bring him along as they took Adam’s father’s small boat out onto the harbor for a few hours, only to be turned away. Samien had done so with a heavy heart, hating the disappointment he saw flashing in his son’s eyes.

“Do you not think I know that, Kira?” Samien’s voice rose with each word that feel from his lips. “Don’t you think I would rather see my son, my only child, outside enjoying life? Enjoying everything while he still has that chance? Do you think I want this for him, Kira? If I had a choice in the matter he wouldn’t be in here! But I don’t have that say. I lost it a long while ago. This is the only choice I have! The only one we have, so do not speak of matters you know so little about!”

“Don’t,” she shot back, her voice raising as well. “This is not solely my fault. I didn’t ask for this to happen, Samien. I didn’t chose it!”

The silence that filled the small shop was deafening. Hunter wanted nothing more than to run, to get as far away from this, from them, as he possibly could. But his limbs, it seemed, were made of lead and refused his mind’s every command. Stop, he pleaded silently. Please stop.

He hated this. Hated how even the smallest of things brought forth such bitterness in the two people he cared for most. He could see the hurt and guilt in his mother’s eyes, the frustration and pain in his father’s face. The way they stared each other down, each waiting for the other to say something more. To challenge the other.

Slowly, he found himself able to stand, though he had no idea where he would go. The only exit to the shop was where Kira currently stood and the last thing Hunter wanted was to place himself in the middle of their argument. As he pushed himself away from his desk, his foot caught on the scraps of wood he’d left carelessly laying about the floor. A sharp howl of pain feel from his lips, causing both Samien and Kira to break from their stare and turn to face him.

“Hunter,” Samien began slowly, seeing the discomfort in his son’s eyes, “Why don’t you go see if you can find Adam, Kali and Davey?” The boy didn’t need to see any more of this. It wasn’t fair to him.

“But what about...” Hunter started, grateful for a chance to leave what he knew would only be another fight. But he still could not help feeling guilty. There was still a great deal of work left and he knew his father could not handle it all on his own.

“It can wait.” Samien’s voice was firm, leaving the boy little room to argue. Silently, Hunter nodded before making his way towards the door and past his stunned mother. As he jogged down the cobblestone street, he could hear the voices of his parents raising once again.

Pushing their voices from his mind, the boy made his way through the now crowding streets in the direction of Adam’s home. It was the most logical of places to start, even his emotionally cluttered mind could make sense of that. Hunter paid little attention to the commotion around him, his eyes focused blankly on the street before him. He refused to let himself think anything beyond finding his friends and putting this morning behind him.

Unshed tears burned in his blue eyes, blurring his vision. But he refused to allow them to fall. No, this didn’t matter. This was life. He could deal with this. He could handle it, he had to. They needed him to be strong. His family needed him. As his thoughts sped, so did his pace, until he was practically sprinting down the street. He didn’t slow until a warm, solid wall halted his progress.

Stumbling backwards, Hunter found himself thrust back into reality, his eyes falling upon the familiar, concerned face of one of his closest friends. “Davey.”

Davey outstretched his hand, offering his friend a soft smile. “Are you alright?”

With a silent nod, Hunter returned his friend’s smile, though both boys knew it didn’t truly reach his eyes. Gathering himself, Hunter turned to face the other two companions standing behind Davey. Both looked uncertainly at Hunter, seeing the redness in his eyes, before exchanging knowing looks. They were looks Hunter had known all too well and he waited for the line of questioning he was certain would follow. But neither said a word, merely offering their friend knowing smiles. A conscious effort to lessen the slowly building tension.

“I see your mother let you out, Kali.” Hunter stated, breaking the silence. Noting the shift in Kali’s gaze, before smirking, “Or did you pull a Jade and put that sycamore tree beneath your window to good use?”

Chuckling, Kali nodded her head. “I’ll die before I’ll let her put me in a dress.” A roar of laughter fell from all of their lips at that. “What? You think I’m kidding?”

“Oh no, Kal. I think the world will come to a fiery end if you were ever to spend more than a few moments in anything other than your tunic and breeches,” Davey voiced, his eyes dancing with mirth.

“That’ll be enough out of you, bookworm.” The four dissolved into a fit of giggles, Davey shooting Kali a knowing glare. “Speaking of fiery ends, why don’t we go see if Jade has gotten his hands on Smith yet? Because lord knows that poor boy is treading on thin ice as it is.”

“Let’s hope we haven’t missed the show yet,” Adam chimed in with a hearty laugh. The four nodded, making their way towards the woods in the distance, each looking forward to the excitement this day would bring.

Jade Puget was normally a very patient boy. On an average day, he did not rush through tasks, he was calm and collected, quite the levelheaded child. Today was not one of those average days though. Today, he was, more or less, pissed off.

The day was bad from the very start, when he had was woken an hour and a half early before his usual time, a little after dawn, by the cries of his month old little sister, Wynne. He’d struggled to try and return to sleep, but it was a useless fight, as his younger brother Smith, whom he shared a bed with, was snoring forcefully. Usually it didn’t bother him, but today the nose simply got under his skin like no other time, so he’d started the day off a bit grumpily. Further aggravation had been piled on as he was kicked in the side by a cow he was trying to milk that morning. Not badly, but enough so that his father, Bryant, had ordered him off chores that morning and his two older, Cullen and Corbin, had found reason to tease him.

Sent off to the house to help his mother with chores there (the twins had very cleverly said he was becoming a woman for the day), he’d spent the morning half being fussed over by his mother, Livia, and elder sister, Myra, and being humiliated by assisting with the cooking. It had only gotten worse when his friends Adam, Davey, and Kali, had come by, to ask him to go sailing, and had seen him churning butter. Nothing was said but he was shamed nonetheless. The worst of it was he might have been allowed to go, in fact his father had seen his friends, knew he wanted to go with them, and had given his permission. And then out came his mother, shouting for Smith, and upon not finding them, had more or less, politely, ordered Jade to find his little brother, seeing as he had nothing else to do.

So here he was, combing the fields near his family’s farm, his ribs still aching from that kick, looking for his miserable puke of a bratty little brother. No, for Jade today was neither average or good, and he was in a rotten mood for it. Rotten enough that he might just beat the snot out of Smith upon finding him.

Jade heaved a sigh, pressing a hand to his still faintly throbbing chest. “Gods damn you, Brownie,” he cursed the cow that had given him this nice gift. The thirteen year old looked about. He was on the outskirts of his father’s lands, another hundred yards and he would simply be in unclaimed fields, but he recognized the place, he was twenty feet from a pond that he and his friends sometimes swam and fished in. By that pond was a rather large rock, and deciding from the pain in his chest, he was deserving of at least a few moments’ repose, trotted his way there to recline against the sun heated stone surface.

Another heavy sigh escaped his lips as he closed his eyes, allowing the light of the sun to warm him. It was early spring in this part of the country, bright with sunshine, though still chilly at times. It was perfect weather to be sailing down the shore, but no, of course he couldn’t have that. The gods had decided today would just be misery for him and nothing more. He groaned, spreading his lanky frame across the rock’s face. He was really going to kick Smith’s behind for this.

“Oh look a rock on a rock, fellas–and fellaette!” a familiar voice taunted from a not too far off. Jade sat up at once as he recognized the voice and the echoes of laughter that followed it, trills of excitement and happiness flooding him as he did, though those trills were a bit dimmed as the pain in his chest flickered and he nearly fell back against the stone, clutching the mark that be–damned milk cow had laid upon his chest.

“Oye, Jade!” a second and equally familiar voice exclaimed, this time slightly worried. Jade looked up to see four figures, through his fringe of auburn hair, running toward him. A blonde head at the front of the pack.

“Jade, you alright?” Hunter asked, as he came up toward his friend, laying a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he grunted sliding off the rock, though his hand still held his ribs. He did his best to look pleasant. “Never get kicked by a cow, if you can at all help it,” he advised them all with wry smile. “It’s not pleasant.”

“Does it hurt much?” Davey asked, not in a mothering way, just concerned.

“It’ll be fine,” Jade said, grunting as he rubbed the spot. “Or it least it will after I find that foul brother beast of mine and drag him home. I swear, he only ran away to vex me, I just know it!”

“Yeah, well, he’s your little brother, that’s his job,” Kali laughed.

“Yes, and you would know,” Jade retorted a bit scathingly. “You’ve got what? A hundred younger siblings?”

“No, just you all,” she retorted.

“Firstly, that retort was immature,” Jade said, crossing his arms as he gave her a withering look. “Secondly, next to Duck–fluff,” he nodded to Hunter, who’d earned his nickname from his tufty white hair, “you’re the youngest here. It’s illogical.”

Kali only rolled her eyes. “You, Davey, and your logic,” she said, hands on her scrawny hips. “I swear you should marry it, you’re so hung up on it.”

“Jealous?” both the redhead and raven-haired boy said together, a line perfectly rehearsed through the lifetime they had been friends.

Kali, Hunter, and Adam exchanged eye rolls, jealousy was hardly the word to describe the feeling for their friends over this particular subject.

“Okay, okay, come on!” Hunter said, jumping and gesticulating a bit as he spoke. “The sooner we find Smith, the sooner we can do something interesting with ourselves! Let’s move!” And he started running off past the pond, towards the woods, a place Smith would most definitely enjoy hiding in. His friends watched him bound away and laughed before following his example. Every day with one another always proved to be an adventure, today would be no exception to the rule.

The quintet ran through the forest, as they had done many, many times, in their years together, nimbly avoiding branches and roots. Well for the most part, Davey wasn’t as adept at it as his friends were, and Hunter’s was known to fall on his face more than a few times, but it was nothing that either boy did not immediately recover from. Dirt on their faces they were back up, gaining on the others, laughing just as their friends were. Jade and Kali climbed and swung part of the way, playing a brief game of acrobats as they found familiar handling upon the branches of a springy juniper they’d played upon many times before.

“Hey, Jade!” Kali called from her place high in one of the trees. Her four companions looked up, seeing the violet eyed child scanning a bit ahead of them. “I see him! He’s in the clearing up ahead running around after some rabbits!”

“That little brat!” Jade exclaimed as his friends tittered. “Damn him! He did this last week! Ooh after Papa gets done with him I’m taking a turn! Senseless–ooh!” The last was a guttural rumble, barely a cognitive arrangement of syllables, but his friends paid him no mind. They simply hid their smiles from his ire, knowing it would pass. Jade often became irritated with his little brother, and most of the time Smith deserved it, nothing new for them to witness. Jade would yell, cuff his younger brother, Smith would cry, recover, and go back to rile him as he had everyday since near birth, it was a cycle for the two brothers, stability, a way. They all knew, this, and followed him to watch the scolding about to take place, Kali, dropping to the ground to trot shoulder to shoulder with Adam.

“Smith!” Jade hollered at the top of his lungs as they cleared past the last of the trees. “Smith Puget of Mendel Cove, you get your scrawny—”

Smith looked up, but not at the sound of Jade’s voice and not in his direction, and they all knew why. The voice of the elder of the brother’s had been drowned out by a strange rumbling sound. The five older children followed Smith’s gaze, to the opposite site of the clearing, as the ground began to shake beneath them. In a matter of seconds the branches and saplings were pushed out of the way as a fleet of armored horsemen galloped through.

They all saw it in slow motion before it happened, the look on Smith’s face, his small body freeze, the dirt flying from the wickedly giant hooves of the beasts. Time stopped, life stopped, for a few precious brief seconds as Jade realized what was going on, where those animals and their riders were headed with out any regard whatsoever for his baby brother. The moment was frozen, the absolute look of shock on Smith’s face, the squirming little brown rabbit he’d finally managed to catch after so many attempts, clutched in his small hands, the beating of his heart. Most of all Jade remembered all the terrible things that he’d been thinking right before this moment.

The broken scream of, “Smith!” tore raggedly from Jade’s throat right before the first of the riders trampled right over his little brother’s now tiny looking frame, rabbit still in his hands.

#afislash #co-written with FadingStar #Shadows Mind: Murder #Junter #Adam Carson/OFC #sparkinside writes #AU

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turtleluvr12 · 4 years

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contentmint replied to your chat “me: i really do enjoy the parallels some of my OCs have. writing my...”

[does a backflip and lands right in front of you] tell me more

LOL

i feel this deserves a longer conversation than what i can spare right now so you’ll have to remind me to go more in depth after finals (since i am vainly trying to do my math hw rn) but the gist of it is that they both have issues wrt their personal feelings and, more so than the rest of the cast to some degree, they succumb to peer pressure the easiest. this is more true for pre!Sasha than current!Sasha tbf, so Sasha’s dislike in the current timeline stems more from her dislike of how she used to be versus how she is currently. they’re also the worst at being open about their feelings, which is intentionally ironic in Sasha’s case. she’s the one who’s most adamant about ppl being true to themselves, but is the worst at applying her own advice ofc. now, none of the cast is good at being open about their feelings but Sasha and Sadie are arguably the best at denial. so for Sasha, looking at Sadie is like looking into an old mirror.

this is actually one of the reasons that before i changed the scene, Sasha was the only witness to Carson giving Sadie her (admittedly rather gentle) “The Reason You Suck” speech.

#contentmint #replies #authorpost

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madisonrooney · 6 years

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2017 has been one hell of a year!! as i do every year, below the cut are some of my favorite moments from it, with the extra special ones bolded :)

fun at disneyland! - going almost weekly as in years past - electrical parade premiere party - plenty of trips with @zip-a-dee-lady and @tayvengeance + one with @wander--meets--world - AP days - pirates 50th anniversary - my first easter at disneyland - don hahn’s book signing - road to the races tour - mission breakout premiere party - day with the cars squad! @a113cowgirl @i-love-animation @aarongoldfarb @radiationstinks - descendants 2 grand marshall parade! - when i ran into sky katz and morgan from radio disney lol - halloween party with my pal adam! - dapper day - mickey’s birthday - thanksgiving at the disneyland hotel for the first time! - my birthday

d23 events! - tangled screening - curse of the black pearl screening - expo!!!!!! where i not only met dove twice but I MET RICHARD GOD DAMN SHERMAN ON THE WAY OUT OF A PANEL??? along with a ton of other awesome stuff ofc - disney afternoon event!! - bob gurr panel - halloween on the lot - lunch w/ russi taylor! - mickey’s of glendale - light up the season

movies at the el capitan! - lady and the tramp - newsies pro-shot - the many adventures of winnie the pooh - beauty and the beast 2017 - born in china - guardians of the galaxy double feature - pirates 5 - bambi - cars 3 with the cars squad! - the lion king - a goofy movie - tangled

other movies! - smurfs the lost village - rock dog - captain underpants - despicable me 3 - the nut job 2 - COCO - ferdinand - the greatest showman - goodbye christopher robin

new tv shows! - tangled - puppy dog pals (fight me i love this show) - andi mack!! - raven’s home - ducktales - big hero 6 (tho it hasnt really started yet)

gallery nucleus events! - pixar art collection - star vs the forces of evil show

concerts! - beach boys - frankie for the fourth time!! - john lloyd young for the second time!! - de-tour - LA family day w/ sofia carson and jordan fisher + meeting them and the other disney channel people that showed up!! - imagine dragons

LAM fam reunions!! - @ john’s show - @ jessica and lauren’s performance (+ landry)

hollywood bowl! - MAMMA MIA WITH DOVE FREAKING CAMERON - the muppets take the bowl

broadway shows!! - a bronx tale, sunset blvd, and waitress in NYC - JERSEY BOYS AND GETTING SURPRISED WITH TICKETS TO SEE IT A SECOND TIME AT THE FINAL LA PERFORMANCE WHICH JUST SO HAPPENED TO BE THE SAME WEEKEND AS FRANKIE AND JOHNS CONCERTS - the little mermaid

etc. - once again, awesome presentations and screenings at my film school - disneyana collectible shows - getting to go to disney television animation (AND RUNNING INTO ALEX HIRSCH WHEN I DID) - bob gurr’s disney history trail bus tour - going to the renaissance fair AND RUNNING INTO JACKSFILMS???? - the RDMAs where I MET DOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN ALMOST A YEAR + LITERALLY LIKE 50 OTHER DISNEY/DISNEY CHANNEL STARS - going to the late late show to see sabrina - MALIBU, YOUNGER NOW, AND ALL THAT THIS WONDERFUL ERA HAS HAD TO BRING - raven’s home tapings - checkin out that super cool hairspray live exhibit - rise of the isle of the lost book launch!!! - getting to see dove’s sister claire again! - seeing happy feet on the big screen again!! - SIX. TAPINGS. OF. THE VOICE. INCLUDING SAYING HI TO MILEY’S MOM AND GRANDMA - fun trip to san diego with my parents - a little movie called DESCENDANTS 2 - staying w/ @zip-a-dee-lady again and her staying with me again!! - a really cool animation panel where i MET RICHARD SHERMAN A SECOND TIME??? AND GOT HIS AUTOGRAPH???? - justin scarred’s meet up - disney animation art gallery in orange - going to the anaheim halloween parade for the first time - DOVE’S RANDOM BELLAMI MEET AND GREET THAT REVIVED ME AFTER FEARING ID NEVER SEE HER AGAIN LOL - going to the smokehouse restaurant where they filmed part of jersey boys! - and to end it off a fun trip to visit my extended family

damn….what a year. something big happened in pretty much all of my main fandoms, many of these big things being REALLY big. i got to see practically all of my favorite people, some who i’d never met before, some i got to meet more times than ever before, etc. the year had its ups and downs, the biggest down being losing my two favorite shows (in rapid succession no less) but a lot of great things kept the year on the whole a great one! i can’t wait to see what the new year brings!

thanks to everyone who made my 2017 awesome and let’s try to make 2018 even awesomer!

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dusty-cookie · 7 years

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Through The Valley - Chapter 11

AO3 Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10075958/chapters/25424970

Tags: @rickdixonandthefandomlifeposts @embracetheapocalypsewithme @kinkozan @lupienne @theblack-wolf @lovingzombiechaos @dragonracer @miiraal

Pairing: Negan X OFC

We interrupt our previously scheduled broadcast to show you something much more interesting. Follow our heroes, Liz and Nate, a happily married couple from Fredericksburg, on their adventurous road trip through the Virginian countryside.

“Negan, I need to talk to you.”

Her request sounded lame in her own ears. Lilly hadn’t talked to Negan in weeks and she hadn’t imagined this to be their first conversation after ignoring each other since her fuck-up with the shed. If it were up to her, she would have kept up the silence between the two them a little longer, since she was still incredibly embarrassed about the whole thing. But Jax had been adamant about her going to Negan.

It seemed to become a recurring situation that Lilly confided in her leader. To his credit, she had yet to hear anything back from other people about her past, her secrets and her thoughts. Maybe she really could trust him, she thought as she sat in front of him and studied his face. Lilly had feared that he would dismiss her. That he would still be angry with her. Apparently, though, her own eyes hadn’t deceived her when she had seen herself in the mirror earlier. She really had to look like absolute shit with the way Negan was looking at her as if she was about to collapse any moment.

“What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

No cussing. He really was concerned.

“I’m not feeling well.”

“Yeah, I can fucking see that, Lil. What the fuck happened?”

Oh good. She felt much more comfortable with potty-mouth Negan than with soft-spoken Negan.

“Well, I have been feeling a little uncomfortable lately…”

“Babe, you look like you’re about to throw up on my fucking desk. How about you stop beating around the fucking bush and tell me what the fuck is wrong with you?”

She sighed. He was right. He deserved knowing what was going on. Or at least some of it.

“Okay. I’m in pain. A lot of pain. And I’m sick all the time and I can’t eat and I just feel like total crap.”

“Have you seen Dr. Fisher about it?”

“Yeah, but he says he can’t help. I need an ultrasound. That’s why I’ve come to talk to you. I wanted to ask you if I can go to the Hilltop.”

“Why the Hilltop? What the fuck am I keeping Fisher here for if he can’t help you?”

“Well, as I said, he said I need an ultrasound. And Dr. Carson is a gynecologist, so…”

Negan’s eyes widened in realization.

“Oh my fucking God. Are you fucking pregnant?”

“What? No! Of course not. I mean, unless I somehow managed an immaculate conception. But no… not pregnant. It’s just… It’s an ongoing issue and I really need to have it checked out. Please? I’ve got it all planned out. They don’t know me at the Hilltop, so I can just say I’m from the Kingdom and…”

“Yeah. Good plan. Pack up some shit. We’ll leave in an hour.”

“Okay. Wait… What? We?”

“Yes, we. I’m coming with you.”

“No Negan, you can’t. It’s too dangerous. Jax can come with me”

“Fuck no. You said it yourself that Jax is fucking useless out there. They don’t fucking know me at the Hilltop either. No one at the other communities has ever seen me. I’m coming with you. This is not up for discussion, Lilly.”

He had the same look like back when they were fighting about who would go to the shed. As if he was daring her to keep arguing. But Lilly was tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of the pain. And tired of herself and her stupid tendency to shut people out. Negan wanted to help her and if she was being honest with herself, she appreciated having someone as big and intimidating as him to go on this trip to an unknown community with her. Not to mention the warm feeling she got thinking that he cared about her. Even if it was just because she was a good scavenger.

“Okay. I’ll see you outside in an hour.”

She went upstairs to her room, took another ibuprofen, washed herself as thoroughly as she could and packed a backpack with some essentials in case they would have to stay the night there. The dull abdominal pain and the nausea made her sluggish, so it took her the full hour to get ready and go downstairs to meet Negan at the car. Jax was waiting for her at the front door. He already knew that Negan would join her on her little trip.

“Promise me to be extra careful. And don’t tell anyone where you’re from. And do exactly as the doctor says. And come back here, no matter what he finds,” Jax was holding her in a fierce embrace and put special emphasis on his last sentence by looking her deep in the eyes. He knew why she needed that ultrasound.

“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry. We’ll be back tomorrow.”

“If we don’t hear from you until tomorrow night, we’ll send some people for you. I’ll talk to Carson and Dwight.”

“Okay. Take care. I love you, okay?”

“Love you, too, Lil. Have a nice trip,” he said with a conspiratorial smile and a wink that caused her to roll her eyes.

Negan was waiting for her next to one of the cars in the front yard. He was talking to Carson, no doubt to give him some last minute instructions and to threaten him that he would end up on the fence if the Sanctuary burned down in his leader’s absence. Lilly threw her backpack and her bow and arrows on the backseat, where Lucille and Negan’s own backpack were already waiting and climbed into the passenger seat of the silver sedan to wait for her travel companion. She wasn’t exactly looking forward to the two hour car ride. Sitting made the pain worse. But at least she would have good company. If they got over the initial awkwardness of being in close proximity after several weeks of ignoring each other.

Lilly watched Negan through the front window. His body language left no room for arguments while he talked to Carson. He accentuated certain words with his hands, all the while straightening his back to take advantage of his full, ridiculous height and getting just a little too close for comfort with people. The thought made her smile. His lack of boundaries when it came to personal space made everyone else uncomfortable and it would have bothered her, too, if it had been anyone else but Negan. She didn’t mind him getting close to her, though. She liked counting the lines around his eyes, or focusing on the dimple on his chin.

Negan turned around in that moment and caught her staring, which made him grin and her blush. Damn him and his ability to read her like an open book.

“You done swooning over me, or do you need a picture?” he asked with his signature cocky grin after taking his seat behind the wheel. Lilly knew just how to wipe it off his face:

“I already have one in my room. Remember when Dwight found that polaroid camera and I took pictures of everyone? You asked me if I rather wanted a dick pic and I told you the camera doesn’t have that good of a zoom.”

“Oh… right. Heh…” Mission accomplished.

Jax and Connor opened the gate for them and waved while Negan steered the car towards the road that would take them through the industrial zone and to the highway to Hilltop. The awkward silence Lilly had feared about had settled firmly between them and she fiddled with a loose thread on her jeans while the houses outside became sparse and were replaced by fields and trees. Fortunately, her fearless leader wasn’t the type to just sit in silence.

“So… you really have a fucking picture of me in your room?”

“Yup. You and everyone else who is important to me. You are all on my wall.”

“Huh… and why don’t I have a picture of you? It’s only fucking fair, you know.” If Lilly didn’t know any better she would say it was his turn to blush now.

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I can give you one when we get back.��

“Can I get a nude one?”

“No.”

“Dammit!” But he laughed, apparently happy with a G-rated photograph after all.

“Won’t your wives give you hell for having someone’s picture on your wall? Nude or otherwise?”

“I’ll leave it in a drawer and just take it out when I need it.” His cocky grin was back.

“Dude…” Lilly scrunched up her face in disgust.

“What? A man has fucking needs…”

“Ha! Fucking needs.” They both broke into laughter. “ Seriously though, you’re way too greedy. Why do you have to jack off to a picture of me, or anyone else for that matter, if you have five chicks waiting to take care of your dick?”

“Because they’re not you.”

That shut her up. Her heart had given an uncomfortable flip. She stared out of the window, concentrating on the landscape that was draped in spring flowers, trying to make sense of what Negan had just said. He seemed to be just as deep in thought as she was, so they drove in silence for a while. The view outside Lilly’s window soon became repetitive, though, even with the occasional walker clumsily stumbling through a blooming meadow. She decided that she would rather stare at Negan. Surely, he was used to it by now.

“How is the pain?” He asked her with a concerned side glance.

“Bearable. Though maybe I should have brought a hot water bottle.”

“You said it’s an ongoing issue. So what the fuck is it that you have?”

“I had some issues with my uterus a couple of years back and had to have surgery. I just want to know if maybe there’s something going on with the scar tissue, or if it has come back.”

“If what has come back? Like an infection?”

“No… it was cancer.”

Negan visibly paled and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. Lilly had expected him to keep asking questions, but he stared straight ahead, his jaw clenched and his knuckles white on the steering wheel. She was grateful for the silence this time. It had been the darkest time of her life back when she had spent her days and occasional nights at the hospital and she didn’t want to think too much about what would happen if the doctor found something again.

“Negan, listen. I’m sorry about the food at the shed. I still feel so bad about it. You gave me a home and a family and a purpose and I screwed up…,” Lilly broke the silence after a while.

“Well, at least you’re fucking resourceful, that’s for damn sure.”

“Yeah, but only because of my stupid trust issues.”

He sighed and rubbed his jaw. “Look, I fucking get it. You wanted to see if Sanctuary really was a place to stay. But I would have thought you had become comfortable enough to tell me about this shit a little fucking earlier. What with you pretty much being my right-hand man. Well, woman…”

“I’m your right-hand woman?”

“Who else? Dwight? That fucker would have my fucking head on a platter if he had the fucking balls to get rid of me. And you’re the only fucking person in this whole fucking factory that works her fucking ass off without asking for anything in return.”

“You’ve already given me much more than I could have ever hoped for.”

“See, that’s what I fucking mean. Now I just have to find a way to get you to suck my dick and I’d be the happiest fucker in the entire fucking apocalypse.”

They both shared a much needed laugh before Negan continued. “Is that the reason you didn’t talk to me for so fucking long? The pain?”

“No, I was just too embarrassed to approach you. And I thought you were still furious with me.”

“Turns out I can’t stay angry with you for very long.”

“Well that’s good to know,” she smiled, “Shit. I was such a bitch to Seth.”

“He’ll get over it. Just tell him you were sick. Maybe help him with the fucking points lists or something.”

“Yeah, good idea. So, I’ll get my old jobs back when we get back?”

“As soon as you feel well enough to start working again.”

“Thank you Negan.”

“You wanna thank me? Let’s talk about this brilliant fucking idea of mine again where you suck my dick…”

Lilly slapped him on his arm, not without noticing the massive muscles that made up his bicep and the way his face lit up as they kept joking and flirting with each other. It seemed like everything was back to normal as they got closer to their destination. When Negan took them off the highway and onto the country road that led to the Hilltop, Lilly told him to stop the car for a moment.

“Let’s go over the plan again. We’ll say we’re from the Kingdom. They don’t have an ultrasound either, so it won’t be suspicious that we travelled here. I’ll tell Dr. Carson about my issues and that Dr. Lozano from the Kingdom sent me here to get checked out. Oh and we can’t take our weapons with us, the bow and arrows are too recognizable. You definitely have to hide Lucille so no one can spot her in case they look inside the car.”

Negan didn’t look too happy about abandoning his beloved bat. Lilly couldn’t blame him. She had never asked Negan why he valued her so much, but it was obvious that he had a sentimental reason to do so. Plus, entering a community that wouldn’t exactly welcome them with open arms if they knew who they really were, without weapons, made Lilly uncomfortable, too.

“Should we tell them we’re married? Friends? Siblings? What do you think?”

“Oh, definitely fucking married,” Negan happily exclaimed, “If I finally get a fucking chance to call you wife, I’m gonna fucking take it. Maybe you’ll get used to it.” He winked at her.

“Seriously? You just declared me your right-hand woman an hour ago and you’d trade that for some pussy?”

“Fuck, you’re right. I’d have to redefine the whole job description,” he mused, “Meh, totally fucking worth it.”

“You say that now. And then you regret it because we’re not compatible.”

“Okay, A: I am fully fucking confident that you are a fucking beast in bed. Trust me, I have like a sixth fucking sense for this shit. And B: It seems like you have given this a fair fucking bit of thought,” he said with a shit-eating grin that made Lilly blush again.

“Can we focus on the task ahead? Which is lying our way through Hilltop so I can get a medical examination,” Lilly tried to change the topic and Negan chuckled. “We need fake names. They know you…”

“...and fear me...”

“...and they’ve probably heard of me, too, by now. You can call me Elizabeth.”

“Middle name?”

“Yeah. Lillian Elizabeth Richards, nice to meet you. What should I call you?”

Negan looked at her intently before he answered, as if trying to figure something out.

“Nathan.”

“Oh, I love that name.”

“My mother would be fucking delighted to hear that.”

“That’s actually your name?”

“Yeah. Nathan Egan.”

“Nathan Egan… Wait… N. Egan, Negan!”

“Clever girl,” he smirked, “My first teacher at elementary school fucked it up and it kinda stuck. And now you have the fucking privilege to be the only fucking person alive to know my real name.”

“Negan is still your real name. And don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me. Gotta keep the mystery.” Lilly did feel privileged, though. The thought that he had shared this detail about himself with her, and only her, caused some butterflies in her stomach to get a little too excited.

“Heh, yeah. Is that all then? Or do you need my dick size, too?”

“I already know the approximate size of your dick, thank you very much. I think that’s all for now. We can just improvise the rest, right?”

They drove the last couple of miles in silence, until their destination came into view on the distant hill that gave it its name. Negan parked the car about 200 yards away on the side of the road that led to the gates and they climbed out of their seats and took their backpacks. Lilly watched as Negan hid Lucille and her bow and arrows under a blanket and locked the doors and then they faced the impressive walls of the Hilltop.

“Ready to go, Liz?”

“Ready when you are, Nate.”

They both chuckled and made their way up the hill, both silently taking note of the guards on the wall and their spears. One of them addressed them as soon as they got close enough to the gate.

“Who are you?” he yelled down at them, his spear raised threateningly.

“We’re from the Kingdom. We’re here to see Dr. Carson.” Lilly yelled back.

“I don’t know anything about visitors from the Kingdom. Don’t you have your own doctor?”

“It’s an emergency! I need a gynecologist. Can you ask him if he’d be willing to see me?” Lilly was surprised that Negan had kept quiet so far. She could sense him tense up next to her. He hated when he didn’t immediately get what he wanted. The two guards on top of the wall put their heads together to whisper to each other. Then the first one yelled down at them again.

“Wait down there!” and he disappeared.

Lilly and Negan looked at each other and Lilly gave Negan what she thought to be a reassuring smile. After a couple of minutes, the giant gate opened and a man appeared. He was wearing a coat and a wool beanie on his head, his long hair visible underneath it. Where the guard had looked suspicious and even hostile, this one had kind eyes and he greeted them with a smile.

“Welcome to the Hilltop! Kal said you asked for our Dr. Carson? Are you sick?”

“I am. I’ve been feeling like shit for a couple of days now. Dr. Lozano said I need an ultrasound.”

“Okay. Well, we’re always happy to help our friends from the Kingdom. I’m Paul Monroe. But my friends call me Jesus.”

“I’m Elizabeth and this is my husband Nathan,” Lilly introduced herself and a grinning Negan. She wasn’t sure if her leader was just trying to be friendly, or if he liked the sound of her calling him ‘husband’ a little too much. “We come with King Ezekiel’s blessing and he sends his regards.” Lilly figured that was pretentious enough for the eccentric leader of the Kingdom while Jesus lead them through the gate and into his community.

“How is the old rascal?” Jesus asked as they walked past a fire pit, some tents and towards a row of RVs.

“Oh, you know him. Happy with leading the community in his own special way,” Lilly grinned at the bearded man, “And always concerned about the well-being of his subjects. Which is why he sent us here.”

“Right. Well, Harlan, Dr. Carson that is, he’s busy doing his daily rounds right now. We still have a lot of common colds and that blizzard caused some frostbites and one case of pneumonia. We also have two pregnant women here right now. I’ll tell him that you’re here, though and he can have a look at you later. You’re welcome to stay inside while you wait. You’d have to give up your weapons, though.” He pointed at Lilly’s machete and Negan’s knife.

“Of course. No need for them in here, anyway, right?” Negan finally decided to join the conversation. They both took off the weapons from their belts and handed them to Jesus. “What about your leader? Gregory, is it? You gonna tell him we’re here? Will he talk to us?”

“Oh, uhm… no, I don’t think so. Gregory doesn’t really concern himself with who comes and goes. He doesn’t like to be troubled as long as there aren’t any problems, you know?”

Negan pursed his lips. He looked like he had swallowed a whole lemon. Lilly was rather indignant herself after hearing about how bad of a leader that Gregory person was.

Jesus excused himself to go look for Doctor Carson and told them to feel free to explore.

“Did you keep that butterfly knife in your boot?” Negan asked Lilly with a side glance while they watched Jesus walk towards the tents.

“Of course. I’m not some fucking amateur. Do you have your gun?” Lilly answered while grinning up to him.

Negan patted his leather jacket where the small gun was hidden in his inside pocket and returned her grin with one of his own. “Wanna go sleuthing?”

“Fuck yeah!”

“I fucking love it when you say that motherfucking fucker of a fucking word.”

They made their way across the muddy lawn and dirt road and found themselves in front of some pens with livestock. Some of the pigs and sheep had already given birth and Lilly couldn’t help but squeal in delight at the sight of the little piglets and lambs. She ran over to the sheep enclosure and reached over the wooden fence to pet some of them.

Negan joined her and leaned back against one of the poles with his back to the animals, carefully studying his surroundings and the people that were either busy working or looking at Lilly and Negan with unabashed curiosity.

“Have you seen those fucking fields? Probably corn and wheat and shit. I feel much better about taking half their stuff now that I see how fucking well they’re doing for themselves. They even have a fucking cow for fuck’s sake. When was the last time you’ve seen a fucking cow?”

“Yeah and this place is huge,” Lilly mused while smiling at a tiny lamb that seemed to take a liking to her, “I wonder how they manage to keep all this up and running when their leader is obviously an idiot.”

“Probably that Jesus guy. He seemed like he has his shit together. Noticed how they got him instead of that Gregory fucker to come talk to us?”

Lilly nodded and then giggled when the lamb started suckling on her little finger. Negan turned around to look why she was laughing and he smiled when he saw her having so much fun.

“Never thought I’d wish to be a fucking lamb.”

Lilly gave an exasperated sigh, but before she could reprimand Negan for his inappropriateness in front of a minor, she heard a voice behind them.

“Hello! Welcome to Hilltop.” They both turned around and found that a middle-aged woman with blond curls had addressed them in a ridiculously cheerful voice. “I’m Gina. I’m responsible for the meals here. Word has it you’re here to see Dr. Carson? He’s a great doctor, you’ll feel better in no time. I just wanted to welcome you. It’s so nice to see people from other communities here and such a lovely couple as you two…”

Lilly immediately felt overwhelmed by the barrage of words coming from Gina, but Negan was looking happier than ever. He threw his arm around Lilly’s shoulders and pulled her close. She had no other option but to snake her own arm under his open leather jacket and around his waist so as not to lose her balance and land face-first in the mud.

“Why, thank you Gina. My lovely wife here and I are real fucking happy to be here with you today. Such a quaint little fucking community. All this shit you got here? Color me the fuck impressed!” Negan’s grin couldn’t possibly be any wider, but Gina looked quite shocked at her new acquaintance’s colorful vocabulary.

“Oh, uhm… yes, it’s rather nice here. I mean, given the circumstances. I heard the Kingdom is a good place to live, too.”

“It fucking is, Gina, it fucking is. We’re all happy as fucking clams down there.”

“Right, uuuuh… well, I hope you’ll be staying for dinner. We’re going to roast a sheep and I’d love for you to try our vegetables.”

“That sounds fucking great. My Lizzie here fucking loves sheep, don’t you sweetheart?” He squeezed Lilly’s shoulder.

“Yup. I’m a sheep lover. Thank you so much for the invitation Gina. I hope we’ll see each other again after my appointment.” Lilly had obviously succeeded in making the situation less awkward, as Gina looked much happier when she went back to work. Lilly looked up at Negan who had yet to release her from his half-embrace. “You’re enjoying this way too much. You know that, right?”

“What? Just having a nice fucking chat with the locals while on vacation with my beloved wife.”

They took a walk around the big house in the middle of the community and commented on the people and buildings until they got back to the gate. There was a blacksmith located next to it and after her initial shock of seeing a real blacksmith hammering away next to a furnace, Lilly watched the bulky man work in silence for a while. Negan was standing next to her with his arms crossed, looking deep in concentration. Suddenly, an image popped up in Lilly’s mind, of Negan himself working inside the shack. He had taken off his shirt and his abs and arm muscles glistened with sweat as he swung the mighty blacksmith hammer repeatedly over his head and onto the anvil. He would then stop for a moment to wipe the sweat and dirt from his brow and his eyes would meet hers and…

“Hey! You okay? You’re not gonna fucking faint on me, are you?” Negan was leaning down to study her face with a very concerned look.

“Huh? Oh… no, no I’m okay. I think the ibuprofen has stopped working, though,” she mumbled, feeling the heat rise in her face and in certain other regions of her body. She silently cursed herself for having momentarily slipped into a cheap romance novel. It was true, though. She was starting to feel more uncomfortable by the minute and she was sure the abdominal pain would be back in full force in about half an hour.

“Come on, let’s find somewhere you can sit down and rest.”

Lilly didn’t think that anyone would have guessed that Negan could be so caring. He took her to what seemed to be community tables in front of the main entrance to the house. They sat in silence for a while, still observing the people of Hilltop, but Lilly felt Negan’s gaze on her a couple of times. She hoped he didn’t worry about her too much.

As the sun slowly started its descent, Jesus came back and told them that Dr. Carson had finished his rounds and that he would see them now. He took Lilly and Negan to one of the trailers, knocked and opened the door to a fully equipped examination room, complete with a stretcher, ultrasound unit and even a gynecologist chair. Lilly became acutely aware of Negan’s company and turned to tell him to wait outside, but he had already squeezed his large frame through the door. As was usually the case, his presence immediately dominated the entire room and despite looking almost comically out of place in there, his entire body language conveyed that leaving would not be an option for him.

Lilly shrugged inwardly. There was no way, of course, that she would get a gynecological exam in front of him, but she guessed that throwing out her ‘husband’ for an ultrasound would look a little suspicious.

“Hi, I’m Harlan Carson. You must be Elizabeth and Nathan.” The man shook both their hands and motioned for Negan to sit on a chair and for Lilly to get to the stretcher next to it. Dr. Carson looked nothing like his brother. Where the latter was short, skinny and a little mousy, this Carson was tall, muscular and had a confident air about him.

“Jesus told me you came all the way from the Kingdom. I’m curious to know what caused Carla to send you here.” Carla must be Dr. Lozano, Lilly thought.

“I’m experiencing abdominal pain that got progressively worse over the last couple of days and I feel sick all the time and very weak. I’ve had a hysterectomy six years ago, so I got a little scared. Dr. Lozano told me to see you for an ultrasound and that since you're a gynecologist, you’d know what to look for.”

“And what was the cause for the hysterectomy?”

“Stage IA endometrial adenocarcinoma.”

“Right. Radical hysterectomy?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, well the good news is that your survival rate is excellent, especially with the surgery, but I’m sure you already knew that.”

“I’m still worried about every little ache and pain, though.”

“Naturally. I’m sure the lack of medical care nowadays doesn't exactly help with your fears. Let's have a look at you then. Lie down on the stretcher and pull up your shirt a little, please.”

Lilly unbuttoned the checkered flannel shirt she was wearing over her gray tank top, and did as Dr. Carson had told her. She peeked at Negan, certain that he would be giddy to get a look at her exposed midriff. He was quiet, though, his gaze fixated somewhere on the wall opposite of him. He looked sweaty and he kept twisting his hands in his lap. She reached out to touch his arm and he jumped a little.

“It's probably nothing to worry about. You'll have your wife back in perfect health in no time.” Even Dr. Carson had noticed Negan's nervousness. Her leader’s brows furrowed, obviously not very pleased with being caught in a moment of weakness. Lilly smiled at him. She didn't know why the situation affected him like that, but she'd try her best not to let Negan blow their cover.

Dr. Carson squirted some of the cold and gooey ultrasound liquid on Lilly’s belly, turned on the machine and started moving the probe back and forth. As per usual, Lilly didn't see shit on the little black and white monitor and Dr. Carson kept his face neutral. After pushing and prodding here and there, the doctor seemed satisfied and handed Lilly some wipes to clean herself. He then put his palms on her stomach and applied some pressure on different parts of her lower abdomen. “Tell me if it hurts anywhere,” he asked while examining her and when he reached her waist, she finally gave a loud yelp.

“AH! Fuck that hurt,” she yelled and then immediately felt Negan's hand on her forearm.

“Hmm… You said you feel nauseated? Fever, too? Loss of appetite?”

“Yeah, all of that.” Lilly had a hard time concentrating with Negan's thumb stroking circular patterns on her arm.

Dr. Carson went to the counter with medical equipment behind him and came back with a small plastic cup. Lilly sat up to take it.

“I'm going to need a urine sample. The bathroom is right over there.”

Lilly disappeared into the tiny bathroom and tried to concentrate so as to pee into the cup and not on her hand. She could hear Dr. Carson’s low voice in the other room and then Negan's much louder one, but she couldn't make out what they were talking about.

After she had managed to squeeze out some pee and washing her hands thoroughly, she went back to the two men. The doctor took the cup from her, put it on the counter and unwrapped what looked like a small strip of cardboard which he dipped into the cup. Lilly sat back down on the stretcher and watched curiously as the doctor pulled the strip back out and examined it.

“Just as I thought. There's nothing wrong whatsoever with your reproductive organs. You've got a kidney infection.”

“A kidney infection?” Lilly and Negan replied in unison. Lilly stared at Dr. Carson in disbelief. A kidney infection was good, right? Well, maybe not exactly good, but at least better than a tumor. A breathy laugh escaped her lips.

“Yeah. They're nasty, but easy enough to cure. Couple of days on antibiotics and you'll be good as new. I'm just wondering, though… I don't want to criticize a colleague, but your doctor really should have thought of a UTI first before suspecting cancer and recommending an ultrasound. Panic doesn't help anyone, especially nowadays. You should talk to her when you get home.”

“Oh I fucking will, fucking trust me on that,” Negan growled and Lilly grimaced. She hoped they wouldn't have to go look for a new doctor soon.

Dr. Carson handed her a small package with pills.

“Here, take one in the morning and one at night until the package is empty.”

“Oh no, we've got antibiotics at home. I can't take those from you.”

“It's alright. I'm happy to help. And you really should start taking those as soon as possible so the infection doesn't get worse. I'll just tell the others to ask for one crate of apples more next time we trade with the Kingdom.” He winked at Lilly and she thanked him profusely. Even Negan shook the doctor's hand before they left the trailer. He seemed visibly relaxed now that they were out of the examination room. Or maybe he was happy that she would be okay?

Jesus was waiting for them outside and after telling him of the diagnosis and how relieved she was, he invited them to stay the night and join them for dinner.

#negan #negan fanfic #negan fanfiction #the walking dead fanfiction #twd fanfiction #comic negan #comicnegan>#the walking dead #twd #here's negan #negan x oc #negan x ofc #comicnegan #through the valley

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country-wannabe · 7 years

Note

Omg Sheviners Twitter handles are crazy. They hate G. Her voice, her dressing sense (like Adam doesn't have horrific fashion choice: gramps sweater and pjs😒), Blakeee (which btw they think she stole from Adam ofc). They think Blake ignores and is bored of her. The funniest thing is, they follow her on Snapchat and think that she tampers with snaps (which actually are delayed due to bad connection)😂😂. Blake has LOADS of demand. Also there's one Blakeismine club with some crazy ladies on T&fb.

They're absolutely crazy 😂 I see a tweet tonight about how Carson kept going to Adam for comments on Blake's team instead of Gwen, which proved that Adam was Blake's "main bae". Like what does Carson have to do with it? 😂 I swear some of them are delusional... It's insane. Blake just can't make everyone happy!

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worldofsurvivortibet-blog · 7 years

Text

EPISODE 1 (Part 1) - “I'll be sharpening my knife just in case” - Eddie

JULIA RAE

im gay

TRYSTEN

The Cheshire Cat is back again

ELENA

Ok it is only like 15 minutes into the game so I don't have anything to say but I love you Jay! So I am making a confessional <3

EDDIE

Im y'all putting me on a tribe with Jaiden who I have not talked to for months and who is in general probably the messiest org player you will find on the planet. I'm in vermont right now in at an inn with shitty service so I'm definitely ready to be booted out of this thing pretty quickly. But I'll be sharpening my knife just in case I can somehow make it a swap.

DARIAN

This season I'm going to write actually decent confessionals. At least I hope! This tribe is pretty lit and the people are so nice! I obviously haven't had a lot of time to get to know everyone but I cant wait! I really think this is going to be a great season!

JAIDEN

I'm actually pretty content with the tribe I got placed on, because I only know Eddie. I could probably use that to my advantage but I don't know if he likes me so... good luck to me. I like playing in games where I know very few people but I am definitely a little worried about Keyonjay being on the other tribe because he will probably go out before I ever swap onto the same tribe as him, and that lowkey sucks. I'm also SUPER concerned about Ting Ting because I hear she's a huge threat and she and Seamus are like, dating IRL or something so hmm. Gonna keep that on my radar.

DANI

Five minutes in and I already hate my tribe, there isn't really anyone I can put my trust in, we better not lose the first immunity challenge, I'm not leaving first again...

CHRISSA

um I hope i am okay in this game idk these people too well and I just hope i can stay a while I fucking hate not knowing the cast before but whatever can i just say I love Jay and that is all.

CARSON

Our tribe is really talkative... which is horrible for me bc im not asdfghjkl. Oh well we have a lot of comp beasts on out tribe so we should be good.

ACE

I've never done this in a game before but let me do a little cast assessment. First let's start with my tribe, Namtso! Jared and I have a lil history in games where I always always always get him out somehow someway. Who knows if he'll trust me! I LOVE KENDALL, nuff said. I have no idea who all the others are but I hope I can make friends with them and have them not vote me off n stuff. In Kailash, I already have Carson added but idk them that well. I love Chrissa and I hope we both make merge or swap on a tribe together and be besties. Dani can go! I love Elena I hope we can acc work together earlier this time than I did in Pompeii. I'm not sure about Seb, he literally just evicted me as hoh in another game rofl. Everyone else idk but I hate that I know more ppl on this tribe than my own tribe. I guess I gotta get talking huh? The last tribe with the unreadable buff has Matt and Trysten. Matt's my fellow furry and Trysten is also semi-furry so I hope they can survive. As for Jaiden, FUCK him I hope he gets out before I even have to deal with his ass. And again idk everyone else.

JAIDEN

Two confessionals in one night? Not surprising. I was really excited to have a non-messy tribe but for some reason, I'm put with two fellow normal people and four confirmed freaks. I don't even know who Johnny is yet but he's literally looped in with those weirdos until further notice. Let's do a quick cast assessment of my tribe, which I forgot its name already because ? flops only. EDDIE - Y'all really did this to me, huh? Eddie hasn't spoken to me since BEFORE October because that's the furthest our chat history even goes. It's me sending messages and him not responding and it's literally the most disappointing thing ever because now I have to work with him in order to exterminate the furries and dildo freaks of this tribe. He's a nice guy and I will only allow him to stick around premerge because he is also a huge threat and a bigger backstabber than I am. JAIDEN - flop JOHNNY - He is not here yet but I think he'll be cool to talk to later on I guess, because we're the same age but he seems more "put together" and like he has legitimate goals in his life. But he's also a college student so I don't expect him to be around much, so I just want to work with him until there is no more need for him if he truly is an inactive person. JULIA - Honestly? She's fucking annoying already lmao SORRY IF UR READING THIS but she talks about dildos and getting fucked in the ass by furries and it's just like... calm down. It's day one and she's already said about 500 things and it's 500 things too much. Definitely bottom of the tribe so far lmao. MATT - He IS loud and cocky and I think he's going to try really really hard to be the Tyson-esque villain this season, so he's also my least favorite because he is not going to be genuine or good at this game. He could go. TING TING - She's sweet so far but she's really hard to talk to because her answers are so short and they can end a conversation in a second. I feel like she's the only person I like at the moment and that sucks so much because damn, she's not easy to talk to. I'm hoping that we have to go to tribal council first though and pump some of those strategic juices into the tribe because I feel like she'll open right up if that's the case. TRYSTEN - Okay I immediately want him to be first boot because he's the most annoying but in subtle ways. He's like "SOMEONE ALREADY THINKS IM AN ALT" and like well, maybe because you're so adamant that you aren't??? Like shut up. And he's saying that Dani is his sister or something in his cast intro and literally no one cares, but you're just a freak thats putting a huge target on their back for no reason. Anyways...enjoy being the only person to get 21st place in this series :o FLOP! So yeah, there's my cast assessment for this tribe. Hopefully I can fall into an alliance and not get first boot from this horrific tribe, but it could probably be worse on the other side. Wish me luck, and tell the VL to suck my left nut! xoxo

KEYONJAY

I really like my tribe a lot. I have a really good feeling about Nicholas, that he could be a strong ally down the road. Kendall is hilarious, I'm vibing with her pretty well. I've had a short conversation with Amanda. Ace is a fucking amazing artist, and newlyf is cool even though I don't even know their real first name and they haven't messaged me back lol. I like everybody so far and I'm making a conscious effort to get to know everybody unlike in my other games where I would wait for people to come to me. Maybe it's the power of the meesh avatar, but I really hope my social game is better this time around. Y'all wrong for making this the first challenge tho @hosts.

MATT

So I just wanna make a SHORT rant on how I feel about my tribemates. Eddie: Eddie my fellow Gorlley. You're cool and I hope we do get to work together moving forward here. Jaiden: Bruh, you're funny and you also seem cool af. Let's pray my opinion on you doesn't change Johnny: Why u no active? Julia: I really feel like you might become one of my best friends here. You're really cool to talk to Matt: You sexy monster you. *winks* Ting Ting: Just like Julia, you really might become one of my best friends here. Trysten: Stop lying about being an angel, I can see right into your soul.

KEYONJAY

So I really wasn't gonna do the day one alliance thing, but Kendall proposed we go into an alliance and ofc I'm gonna say yes. haha. I do actually like her a lot so that's good. She pulled in Ace, and I wanted to pull in Nicholas because I feel like me and him gel pretty well. Hopefully people see Kendall as the figurehead because my whole strategy was to fly UTR but things change like that in this game. Basically, I just wanna make friends with everybody so I'm not the target regardless, do well in the challenges, and not overthink things like I usually do.

ACE

I'm talking to Ally in PC and I swear I'm getting Mega vibes from her. I swear if Ally is Mega....

KENDALL

Hello. It's me. I've been wondering after all these years, if you'd like to me. To go over everything.... Yeah that's all I know, I mean sure I could look up the lyrics on Google but I am far too lazy. No wait I also know HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE It has been ten billion years since my last confessional/game, which may seem mathematically impossible because I've only played survivor for one year but shut up because this is my confessional... bitch. Any who, I am back with two percent more evil and one percent more effectiveness. No longer will I be a drifter, just sort of hanging back and waiting for anyone to pick me up and drag me along, I will be the leader!!!!!!!! Despite having about zero charisma and even less interpersonal skills. But my mommy says I am special so there. Anyway I have made an alliance with people. Ew gross I know. But it has to be done. I've made a group of people who were speficially selected because of their incompetence in some areas. Ace the Squabit: I've played with Ace in Pompeii, we aligned for a short period of time before Drew voted him out. He is incredibly intelligent but he isn't particularly social. Creating a bond with him shouldn't be too difficult because of this fact. Keyonjay Dixon: Aside from having a bitchin' name, Keyonjay has one of the rare characteristics of getting my sense of humor. He isn't very connected to the community so I don't have to worry about any pregame alliances he may have made. In a previous game, he stated to have "played for someone else," time will tell if he will repeat this mistake. And last but not least we have, Nicholas: I don't know him very well and I don't have as much control over him as I do the others. Which frightens me... but I think we get along just fine. I've recommended Survivor seasons to him because he hasn't seen the show so maybe that will bring a bond of some sort. As for the other tribe members, Amanda seems pretty chill and Newlyf is fucking hilarious. I'd like to avoid getting them out if I can. Jared on the other hand... I don't particularly care. He is so boring and has terrible spelling, two of the worst qualities. He called me a psycho in a PM to Ace, which is mildly amusing because I don't think he knows how far it really goes. He doesn't trust Ace, he doesn't like me, he was barely on for the first half of the game. Jared serves no use to me or anyone in my cult... sorry alliance lol auto correct. Anyway I will update when I get more information but until then... HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

DANI

I really wanna trust these people, but I really cant. I literally have one ally and it's already almost day 2. Well, one ally is better than none I guess. I just really wanna win immunity. I'm not taking the risk of going to tribal council.

EDDIE

Basically Ting Ting is a queen and I'm planning on making her my Sam of this game and I've pretty much let her know that. Although idk if she finds it sketchy that after once hour I said that but I honestly don't have as much time as a thought as I would so I need to leech myself to a strategically gifted iconic queen that will carry me through the beginning stages of the game into the merge. I honestly haven't decided if I'm going to stay loyal to Ting or not. But if I do vote her out it wouldn't be until the final 5 which is about the time that I probably should've cut Sam in bangladesh but I didn't cause I'm an emotionally human being. By that time though I'll probably have become way too close with Ting to cut her and I will probably make the same mistake I did in Bangladesh which is not taking out the clear jury threat and the person who will obviously win the game at the end. But that won't matter to me as long as I get to have fun bathing in the blood from all the other people who's demise I will cause. I'm going to busy these first rounds of the game but once things slow down and I settle into my city life I should be able to really get into it. I don't need other people knowing that though. Right now I'm just gonna play the sort of active, sort of inactive number for who ever is running the tribe (which will probably be ting which is why I decided to leech myself onto her). I believe Jaiden will try to run the tribe but he and I mean... he can think he is. But I will make sure Ting Ting knows all about his ruthless gameplay and the erratic and messy way he plays. She can do all the work rope in the numbers and I'll just be her little yes man. Whatever gets me to the swap tbh. Either way, I want to keep Jaiden on the outs while making him believe he's the leader. If I have it my he will be first boot, but if not I will coddle him and make him feel like I'm close with him right until I put the knife in his back which I'm hoping will he sooner rather than later, especially on a tribe with such small numbers. Idk how well that will work but it's worth a shot. I also have been talking to Roxy a bit and also matt. Im gonna go to them tomorrow on my drive home from vermont and be like "hey guys!!! Im a busy man!!!! Sorry couldn't talk to you last night!!!! And then talk to them all the way on the ride home and build up some type of bond or whatever.... Jaiden not being around tomorrow should make it even worse on him? Either way, I'm going to do a faceplant into Ting Tings ass. I have no shame in kissing someones ass just to get myself further in this game. That's what this is all about amiright? I'm honestly ready to be first boot, but if I'm not this should be fun.

ACE

I should be scared of the Pokemon Camp Community but I'm not really. Its true they are a force and nobody could stand against them if they are all together but I doubt half of them would make merge. Kendall and I are already planning on taking out Jared if we ever lose cuz he said he doesnt trust me and called Kendall a psycho (which is true in a good way~) Dani and Trysten might seem like a threat to others in tribe stage due to Trystan's bio I guess? I dunno. As for Seb idk why yall casted him cuz he's probably most likely 75% chance going to strike out and be removed anyway so nobody should worry about him.

DARIAN

So. It's been a day and someone has already asked to work with me. #Dani. I dont know where this is going to go i know I'm not committing myself to anything this drastic on day one. I guess it's nice to know I have one option! Dani seems really nice! So who knows

DANI

If we don't win this fucking reward challenge I will be PISSED, I busted my ass in that stupid ass unicorn game and pretended to enjoy that shit so other people would do it.

KENDALL

https://youtu.be/v5O6_rA0VFc

MATT

Honestly, I feel like I did good on this first challenge. I still trying to figure out who on my tribe would be the best for me to make an alliance with. In a sense, I am somewhat apprehensive because of Lazio and its endless tribe swaps....eh, time to snoop around.

KENDALL

OH MY FUCKING GOD I HAVE THAT STUPID SONG FROM ROBOT UNICORN ATTACK STUCK IN MY HEAD. ~ALWAYS I WANT TO BE WITH YOU MAKE BELIEVE WITH YOU AND LIVE IN HARMONY HARMONY, OH LOVE~ SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CURSE YOU JAY, SEAMUS, AND CARSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#wostibet #confessionals

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sparkinsidewrites · 4 years

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I’ll Be There For You - Chapter One

Title: I’ll Be There For You

Chapter: 1/?

Character/Pairing: Adam Carson/OFC

Genre: Angst

Rating: T

Summary: There are always lines, always limits, and learning when to cross them, when to risk it all can be the hardest lesson to learn.

Authors Notes/Warnings: Nothing in this piece ever happened. I claim no ownership nor do I make any sort of profit from this, other than pride and a sense of amusement.

ONE: I’ll be chasing you the rest of my life

Slowly, he drummed his fingers across the white tablecloth, every once in awhile his eyes straining up to the clock hanging on the far wall. The soft murmur of the tables surrounding him filled his ears. He should have known this would happen.

He sighed. She was late again. She was always late. Why he kept expecting that to change, he’d never understand. But still he was here. Still he’d given her the benefit of the doubt again. It was stupid of him, he knew that, but it didn’t stop him from agreeing to meet her in the first place. He was a real fucking idiot.

Giving the clock one last glance, he pushed himself from the table. Coming had been a mistake. He had known it would be from the moment he’d gotten her message the day before. Why he refused to listen to his own sense of reason was beyond him as well.

Leaving enough to cover the three cups of coffee he’d consumed while he waited, he pushed open the glass door of the small restaurant and stepped out into the darkened sidewalk. The air outside was slightly chilled, a sure sign that winter was on its way. He paid it little mind, pulling his light jacket tighter around his tall frame as he made his way into farther the night.

He shoved his hands into his pockets, staring ahead at the sidewalk before him. The streets weren’t crowded in any sense nor were they completely empty. He liked it that way – he wasn’t invisible but he didn’t stand out. Hardly anyone he passed paid him any mind, all too tangled in their own happenings.

A half smile formed on his lips. Yes, the night had been as close to a complete disaster as he cared to come, but he would get over it. She didn’t really matter in the scheme of things. And now he had the rest of the evening to do with as he wished. No painful small talk, no awkward silences or clumsy, desperate sex he’d regret soon after waking the next morning. In a way, he was grateful she’d stood him up.

Though his car still sat in the restaurant’s parking lot, he continued down the sidewalk. He didn’t feel like heading home. Not just yet. He took a deep breath, taking in the sights around him. The city was beautiful at night. The soft glow of the street lamps, the shine from the lights of the signs advertising the various stores. He’d never bothered to notice any of that before; he’d been in too much of a hurry for this or that. Everything had just held a higher precedence than the world revolving around him.

He shook his head, laughing softly at himself as he continued down the sidewalk. What was wrong with him lately? Maybe he had been spending too much time in the studio, like Ron had pestered him about for weeks on end. He sighed, it wasn’t his fault they had been on a roll and he’d been hard pressed to break himself from it. The last record had taken them nearly three and a half years to put out and as happy as they all had been with the finished product, spending another three and a half years in the studio would drive all four of them completely mad.

But tonight had been one of the few nights he allowed himself off. True, it had partially been for the sole purpose of the night he’d planned to spend with her, but it was a night off. And now he had been left with the task of finding someway of filling it.

The longer he walked, the thinner crowd on the streets became. He hadn’t bothered to glance at his watch, but he knew almost instinctively that it was growing late. The small voice in the back of his head urged him to give up the ghost and head home. There wasn’t much else he could do tonight, but the prospect of his empty apartment was something he wasn’t quite ready to face.

He allowed himself to loop once more around the block before he began his slow trek back to his car. It wasn’t the most beautiful of vehicles, older than he cared to think about and clinging to its last legs, but he had grown attached to it over the years. As silly as it sounded, the bag of bolts had become a part of him, much to the chagrin of his closest friends.

He chuckled to himself as he climbed inside, being careful to shut the driver’s side door just so. It was a fickle thing but over the years he’d learned all its tricks. He’d grown used to it. Yes, he could afford a new car, he knew that. And he knew probably should, but letting go of something had never been a strong suit of his.

Absent-mindedly, he flipped on the radio. It wasn’t that he much cared what was playing, it was the fact that he needed some sort of background noise when he drove. He hated silence – why he couldn’t explain, but he needed the noise. It drove his bandmates crazy – it seemed to drive everyone crazy, but it was something they eventually had grown used to. Or at least they’d given up complaining about. It was something everyone eventually accepted as purely him.

The roads were relatively empty for this time of night, but then again long stretches of time on the road meant his sense of time wasn’t exactly on par with the general public. It was nice, really, having the road mostly to himself. For a moment he contemplated simply starting off in one direction and never looking back. He knew he never would, but he did have to admit the idea was alluring.

Shaking himself from his thoughts, he pulled onto the main road, being his slow trek back to the small apartment he called his own. It wasn’t much, but it was home and that was enough for him. The restaurant wasn’t a long drive from his place, and in hindsight, he realized she’d picked for that very reason. She never had been much at subtly, and in the past it was one of the many things he’d found attractive about her. That and the fact she was quite inventive between the sheets.

He laughed at this; Ron was always saying he thought with his dick. Maybe there was a fair bit of truth to that one. But that was something he would never admit to Ron. Never. Not when an “I told you so” would follow, and he knew it would.

Ron always had the keen, and often times annoying, ability to say any and everything that needed to be said, especially in regard to Adam’s habits, actions and behaviors. It was something he’d grown used to over the years. It had certainly worked to keep his ego in check and considering how fast paced his life had become, it was something Adam knew he needed.

He’d made it nearly a block from his apartment when he found himself turning the car around. The empty apartment held little appeal at the moment. He quickly glanced at the clock on his dashboard. It was getting late, but he’d shown up at Ron’s far later. And besides, he knew his best friend wouldn’t mind the company.

It was another twenty minutes until he found himself pulling into the dimly lit driveway. He smiled as he noted Ron’s black Honda, still in desperate need of washing. The porch lights had been turned off, but there was still a soft glow emanating from the livingroom window. Putting the car into park, he slowly climbed out and made his way to the door.

He spent the next three minutes knocking on the door before footsteps sounded from within the house. “I’m coming,” he heard the familiar voice call. Warm, soft light poured out onto the porch as the door slowly pulled open, revealing the tall red head whose eyes were still glazed with sleep. “Do you own a watch at all, Carson?”

Adam chuckled and shrugged his shoulders, “You know I live for these moments.”

“Smart ass,” she quipped. “Well since you got me up for no reason, you might as well come in.”

He laughed once more, “And here I thought your mother had taught you manners, Veronica.”

Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly. “Watch it, pal. I’m still half asleep, I can plead temporary insanity if I murder you.” In all the years he’d know her, she’d always hated her first name. It might have had something to do with the fact that the only time she seemed to hear it was after they’d gotten into something they shouldn’t have and her mother gave them hell about it. Considering the frequency of their misadventures, he couldn’t quite blame her.

“You can’t kill me, you love me.” He batted his eyelashes for the effect.

“Leave the dramatics to Dave, you just look ridiculous.” She smirked and headed back into the livingroom, leaving Adam to follow her inside. He shut the door behind him before joining her on the couch.

“Chris working tonight?” She nodded, cuddling back until the blanket that had been tossed to the side of the couch. He still found it odd that she was married, even after nearly five years. That probably had something to do with the fact that he’d been on the road for the better part of that time frame. He’d been there for the wedding. Hell, she’d tried to make him her maid of honor before he threatened to shave her head for the ceremony in retaliation. She’d backed down begrudgingly after that. But he’d been there.

“He gets off around three, should be home around four-thirty,” she paused turning to look at him. “She stand you up again?”

That was the one thing he both loved and hated about Ron – she never beat around the bush. He sighed, leaning his head back against the back rest of the couch. “Yeah. And no ‘I told you so’s. I’ve done that quite enough on my own.”

She smiled softly at him, shifting to settle her head against his shoulder. “I am sorry, you know. I mean, yeah she’s certainly not my favorite person and I can’t say I’m not glad she didn’t show, but I am sorry.” Ron sighed. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but fuck you know how to pick them.”

Adam chuckled, as much as he hated to admit it, she had a pretty good point. He’d never had particularly great taste in women; cute, pretty face, nice body, adventurous. He’d been chasing after the same type since his early highschool days. You think he’d have learned by now. “Remind me to call you the next time I need my ego brutally murdered.”

Ron grinned, looking up at him briefly, “That’s what I’m here for. Someone’s gotta kick you in the ass every once in awhile. Besides I’ve been doing it since the fifth grade, be kind of silly to stop now.”

“Yeah yeah.” Ron smiled, closing her eyes as she settled farther into his side. As he always did, Adam wrapped his free arm around her, resting his head against the top of hers.

He’d always loved being able to just sit with Ron. As much as he enjoyed the banter and verbal ass-kicking, he cherished the fact that they could just sit together without having to really say a word. Their relationship was more than just well timed words and knowing just when to say them, and it was great knowing they had that.

“How’s life treating you?” she chimed in several minutes later.

“Not too badly. We’ve been in and out of the studio, things are coming along...”

“Not the band, Adam,” she interrupted, sitting back far enough so that he could fully see the knowing glare she shot him. “How are YOU doing?”

He stopped, softly chuckling as her words began to sink in. Sometimes it was hard to shut off the almost auto-pilot response he’d fallen into giving whenever anyone asked how he was. Most seemed only to care about when the next record would be hitting stores, not what was going on in his or any of their, everyday lives. “Sorry, forgot where I was for a moment.”

Ron simply frowned. “You do that a lot, you know.”

He sighed, “I know. It’s just – habit really, you know that. I’m fine, its nice to have a little down time. And besides, I have you to keep me in my place, so all’s good.”

“Someone has to because Lord knows you can’t seem to handle it on your own.”

“Hey now, I handle things just fine,” he cut in, cracking a small smile. “I just tend to take the more interesting route.”

A sharp cackle fell from her lips. “You could call it that.”

“I will then.”

Ron merely shook her head. “What am I going to do with you, Carson?”

With a bat of his eyes, he shot back, “Love me forever.” She shook her head, reaching over to gently hit his arm. “Hey now, play nice.”

“Since when do I play nice?” she asked with a cock of her eyebrow.

Shaking his head, Adam let a peel of laughter escape his lips. Ron soon followed suit, both leaning against one another, struggling to catch their breath. “Alright, alright, smart ass.” Ron merely grinned, resting her head on his shoulder once again. Silence fell between them once more. “So you’re holding up alright?”

With a soft nod of her head, she paused before answering his question. “Yeah. Work’s work. The kids can be a nightmare, but I wouldn’t trade them for the world.”

For as long as Adam could remember Ron had loved working with children. And, truth be told, it hadn’t really surprised him at all when she’d chosen to become a teacher, though he never fully understood her reasoning. He’d never been great with kids. True, his experience with them had been limited, few of his friends had kids and he doubted working with Ron’s little brother really counted seeing as he spent most of the time trying to get the little boy to stop being his shadow, but he simply didn’t see himself working well with children, his or otherwise.

“So when are you going to have rug-rats of your own?” he joked, resting his arm on her side. He wasn’t completely sure why he’d asked the question. Hell, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer. The idea of Ron with kids of her own was...unsettling. Why, he wasn’t entirely sure. Adam knew she’d always wanted kids, knew she would probably be a mother someday. Maybe it was just the idea of knowing that when it happened she wouldn’t be the same old Ron anymore. She’d be someone’s mother.

“Okay, now you’re starting to sound like my mother.” The look she shot him forced a smile to his face. That was his Ron. “And wipe that smirk OFF your face, Carson. That wasn’t a compliment.”

But his smile only grew.

“Fine, smart ass,” she grumbled, glaring at him a few moments more before softly smiling. “Actually a bit sooner than I’d planned.”

“A bit sooner than you planned?” Adam echoed dumbly. Something about that statement seemed off to him. Sooner than she planned, that would have to mean that...His eyes widened slowly as the meaning began to sink in. “You mean...”

Ron nodded softly, brushing the hair out of her eyes. “Yeah. We found out this morning. It’s been kind of...surreal.”

Adam could only nod. Something seemed...off. That much Adam was able to register as he struggled to keep his own thoughts from racing. The smile on her face wasn’t reaching her eyes. It seemed, fake almost. Forced. And that honestly disturbed him. This wasn’t his Ron. She was supposed to be giddy, ecstatic almost. This wasn’t right.

He placed his hand gently on her arm, her eyes flashing up to his. For a moment he could clearly see the uncertainty swimming in them before they clouded once more. In a very real way she was hiding from him and Adam didn’t like that at all. She’d never hidden from him before. The cold churning in his stomach only served to perpetuate his unease.

“Congratulations,” he whispered softly, unsure of how to react himself. This was something completely out of his depth. It was entirely foreign and that fact frightened him. Whether it was the mere fact that Ron was hiding from him or something more, Adam honestly wasn’t certain.

“Thanks.”

The silence that fell over the two of them was tense, and he hated that. Hated the awkwardness. They had never been awkward before. Never. Ron could sense it too, that much he knew instinctively. The way she sat; her knees pulled up to her chest, her hands fidgeting with the frayed edges of the blanket wrapped around her, it spoke volumes for what was going on in her mind.

Several more tense minutes passed before he felt her relax somewhat, leaning herself lightly against him once more. He didn’t protest it, simply opened his arms to her. Ron needed him and Adam had never turned her away before, he couldn’t do that to her now.

#sparkinside writes #I'll Be There For You #Adam Carson/OFC

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sparkinsidewrites · 4 years

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The Devil Inside - Chapter Seventeen

Title: The Devil Inside

Chapter: 17/18

Character/Pairing: Davey Havok/Adam Carson; Adam Carson/OFC

Genre: Angst

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Faith and fear are two of the strongest forces in our lives. Adam had never questioned himself or his beliefs. But what happens when he stumbles across his greatest temptation in the eyes of another man? Written with Havoksangel.

Authors Notes/Warnings: Nothing in this piece ever happened. I claim no ownership nor do I make any sort of profit from this, other than pride and a sense of amusement.

SEVENTEEN

Aubrey sat on the couch staring dumbly at the wall. Adam had been gone for hours. She wasn’t sure if he'd gone to Davey or just gone to drive around, but he wasn’t back yet and that bothered her. Had she made a mistake in letting him go? Did he go to Davey's and realize that a man was what he wanted and not her? Those thoughts terrified her. Could he really choose Davey? What about them, their family? She shook those thoughts away. It wasn’t in her hands anymore. All she could do was sit and wait.

With shaking hands, Adam pulled the car into the driveway of his house. The home he'd shared with Aubrey for nearly three years. Guilt churned through him. He'd betrayed her yet again. Broken her heart. He hated himself for that. For hurting her. She was the one person who didn't deserve it.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Adam turned off the ignition, unbuckled his seatbelt and slowly, hesitantly, opened the car door. Could he really do this to her? Was this tentative relationship he was building with Davey worth losing the woman he'd been in love with for nearly thirteen years?

Aubrey heard the car pull up and barely resisted the urge to go to the door. She wasn’t ready to know yet and the minute she looked at him she was going to become aware of what had happened. What lay in store for her future. Their child’s future. And she wasn’t sure she was ready to know. With her hands on her lap, she sat and waited.

In all the years they'd lived here, Adam had never been so afraid to walk up to that door. He knew Aubrey was inside, waiting for him. Had been for longer than he cared to think on. The moment he opened that door, she would know. She'd see it. She knew him well enough to know. To read him.

Sighing, he raised his hand, leaving it hovering over the door handle. Shaking, he pulled it quickly back. He wanted to run, wanted to hide. He wanted to disappear. Hurting her was the last thing he ever wanted to do. And he'd done it. Several times. God, he couldn't do this. He couldn't face her.

Dammit, Carson, he mentally berated himself, you have to do this. You can’t lie to her. Not anymore. You promised her you wouldn’t and you’ve already betrayed her trust enough. Steeling himself once more, Adam slowly turned the handle, pushing the door open. This was it. There was no turning back now.

Aubrey turned to the door, locking her eyes on his as it slowly opened. She caught the glimpse of fear swimming in them and knew immediately. Her heart sank.

"Aubrey," he whispered, seeing the pain and disbelief swirling in her eyes. Oh God, what had he done?

She looked down. "You were with him," she stated plainly, her voice even though Adam could pick up the barest hint of hurt lacing them.

He nodded silently. "I'm sorry."

She turned on the couch and stared blankly at the wall. What could she say? That she forgave him and was happy he'd found someone? That was bullshit. She was hurt. She was angry. How could he do this? Why wasn’t she enough? What had she done wrong?

Adam stood in the doorway, afraid to enter the room. Afraid to do anything more to upset her. To hurt her. He’d caused enough pain and he’d be damned if he caused her anymore. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I love you, Bree. I love you so much..."

"But you love him too, don’t you?"

"I think so," Adam started. He didn’t know anything for certain. There was still so much left unsaid, untouched "...I could...I don't know. I didn't plan on this."

"Come in," she said calmly, her body language betraying her uncertainty and pain. "We have to talk."

He cautiously entered the room, his eyes falling from hers to the floor. "I never wanted to hurt you."

She nodded in acknowledgment. She knew he didn’t mean it but that didn’t make knowing hurt any less. Swallowing she closed her eyes for a moment before raising them to him once again. "I want you to answer my questions honestly. I need you to do this. To not be afraid of how I’ll react. Can you do this for me, Adam? For us?"

Adam’s eyes darted up to hers, uncertainty shining in them. He wasn’t sure he could do this. That he could tell her the things he feared she’d ask him.

"Did you sleep with him?"

Closing his eyes, Adam nodded, offering a weak, "Yes."

She took a deep breath, knowing the answer from the moment he’d walked through the door. The glow on his face when he walked in. Even though he was terrified, he still had that look in his eyes that she'd seen so many times. That had been only hers. "More than once?"

Again, he nodded.

"How many times?"

"Twice," he murmured, his hands trembling at his sides. He couldn't look her in the eyes. Not now. Not after she knew.

She swallowed hard and looked up at him. Something was different. Something was even more off than when he first told her. There was more guilt. "What changed from the first time to this time?"

"What?" he choked out, missing her question completely.

"You are acting even more guilty than you did before. What did you two do different? What happened?"

"I...He didn't...It was me...I just...I'm so sorry." Adam fumbled over his words. He'd taken Davey. It had been his call. HIS choice. He had wanted it. Initiated it. His choice.

"Stop," she whispered, raising her hand, "Go back. Without stuttering."

Adam took a deep breath, his hands still shaking, "I...I started it. I...took...I took him." He'd said it. She knew. He couldn't take it back now. He'd changed everything. He'd lost her.

Aubrey closed her eyes. "Fucking?"

"The first time," he whispered.

"You made love to him," she said, pain filling her eyes. It wasn’t a question. It was a realization.

Silently, Adam nodded. He'd made love to Davey. He'd WANTED to make love to Davey. It hadn’t only been about sex. About lust. He cared for him. And that thought terrified Adam.

Aubrey looked at him. "Did it feel better with him?"

"Different," he whispered, shaking his head.

She looked down and held her stomach protectively. "Adam, when you think of not having him around, what happens?"

Adam’s eyes slipped closed, tears he’d been fighting off slowly trailing down his cheeks, "It hurts."

She looked at him, seeing the tears trailing down his face and she knew. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he'd fallen in love with Davey. There was something about him that had made Adam forget all he'd known and to Aubrey that spoke volumes. "If... if I told you that you could still see your child, would that help?"

Sobs shook Adam's trembling form. Fear, relief and guilt flooded through him all at once. Aubrey shouldn't have to do this. Shouldn't have to suffer because of him. Because of what he wanted. It didn't seem fair that he was given this chance and Aubrey was left alone. "You shouldn't have to do this. You shouldn't have to make that kind of a decision. God, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm a horrible person. I hurt you. I ruined everything. I'm so sorry."

"Stop." Her voice was stern. "I don’t want apologies. That isn’t going to fix anything." She took a deep breath. "We are both adults and we are having a child together. In my eyes being with a man is a sin, you know that." She turned her attention to him completely. "However, you’ve fallen in love with him. This is something we are going to have to deal with. I have no right to keep you from this baby. Its half yours," she paused. "But I do have the right to forbid Davey from being around this child."

Adam nodded, knowing how hurt she was. How angry. He'd betrayed her. Lied to her. Gone against everything she believed. She should have hated him. He deserved that. "I understand."

"You’ve told him that you wanted to be with him, haven’t you?" she asked, her voice softening. As much as this hurt her, she still loved him and wanted him to be happy. She had just thought that it would be with her.

"Yes," he whispered.

She hung her head, for the first time all of it sinking in. She'd lost him. Lost all they’d built. Tears stung in her eyes. "He makes you happy?" She whispered.

Adam nodded. "It scares me. All of this scares me."

"Because you do love him."

"I wish I didn't. It would be easier if I didn't." He hated himself for muttering those words. He was breaking one heart. How could he even think of breaking another? What kind of bastard was he?

"But you do." She told him. "I want to hear you say it."

Confusion spread across his face, "I...I don't understand."

"If you are leaving me for him, I want to hear you say you love him." She needed this. Needed to know that he wasn’t just lust and temptation that had wretched Adam from her life.

The sharpness of her words stung, but he couldn't blame her. Couldn't deny her anger or her pain. "I...I love him."

"He has no idea that you do, does he? If you could barely say it to me, you haven’t said it to him." She turned her attention down to her hands. She didn’t want to look up anymore. She didn’t want to look at him.

"I'm scared, Aubrey. Th this changes everything. This changes me. I don't know what I'm doing and I'm scared to death." She didn't need to hear this. Didn't need to know. But she had been his best friend for as long as he could remember. He trusted her. Needed her. He loved her.

She looked up at him, her hardened expression softening. He was hurting. She wasn’t blind to that. He needed her. Slowly she got up and walked over to him.

"I don't want to fuck this up anymore. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt anyone. If if you don't want me to do this...If you don't want me to be with him, I'll leave. I'll just go. I'd rather die than hurt you. I just want to make this right." The words tumbled from his lips in a rush. He just wanted to fix this. To stop the hurt he’d caused.

Aubrey silently wrapped her arms around him. She was hurt and angry but she still loved him. Despite everything, she wanted him happy. She was a Christian woman and she never held grudges. She didn’t hate. "I want you to be where you feel you need to be."

"I don't deserve this. Why are you doing this?" Adam choked out between his tears.

"Because I love you and I want you happy," she whispered. "I love you enough to let you go."

Adam leaned back into her warmth, his body still shaking. "I know it doesn't mean much and I know it doesn't fix this, but I'm so sorry Bree. I never wanted this to happen. I never wanted to become this. To hurt you."

She buried her head in his neck, inhaling him. "I know you didn’t. You've never once hurt me deliberately." Her hold was tight and she knew she was going to eventually have to let him go, but right now this felt nice. Holding him like this felt nice. "I made you happy, right?"

"You're my world," he told her honestly.

She pulled back and looked up at him, locking their eyes. She could feel the tears stinging her own, but she couldn’t bring herself to look away.

"You will always matter to me, Bree. I'll always love you." He wanted her to know this. To understand. She was everything to him and leaving her was killing him. Hurting her killed him.

Aubrey nodded. There was no doubt that he'd loved her. She leaned towards him, hoping he would understand. She needed this. Needed to feel him like this if only for one last time.

Closing his eyes, Adam let his lips press softly against hers. This was their last kiss. A kiss goodbye. The thought sent a flash of pain through his heart.

Tears fell from her eyes as she kissed him. He was so warm and she had wanted to spend her life with him. Holding him. However she knew she wouldn’t and it was unfair to her, him and their baby to hold him to a life he would be miserable in. "I love you," she whispered as she pulled away.

"I love you too," he whispered back, knowing that if she'd asked, he would give up everything for her.

"You will be staying with him, I presume. Or am I moving out?"

"The house, anything you want, is yours. How could you think I would make you leave?" he asked her in disbelief. This was her home, he could never rob her of that. Never.

She shrugged. "I just assumed that because you were the one paying for it I would have to leave." She hated this uncertainty. But there was nothing either of them could do about it. Things were never going to be the same and adjusting to that would take time.

Adam shook his head, "This house is as much yours as it is mine. You shouldn't have to leave it because of me."

She nodded. "Are you going to be staying with him then?"

"I don't know...We hadn't really discussed that. Maybe. That or I'll get a small apartment somewhere...I'll figure something out." His voice was calmer now, his trembling ceased.

"Please let me know where you go. I want you to be a part of this baby's life and that includes everything."

Adam nodded. "I promise." He didn't want to lose this child. It was a part of them. Something they'd made out of love. He couldn't lose that.

"Take care of yourself, Adam."

"Promise me you will too. And call me if you need something. Anything. I'll be there in a heartbeat."

She nodded. "I promise."

"Thank you," he murmured, kissing her forehead softly.

"For what?" she asked softly.

"For everything. For being the woman I feel in love with. For loving me. For not hating me for all I've done, even though I know in my heart you should. Just thank you."

"I could never hate you. As much as I want to, I just can’t. I don’t even hate Davey. He's beautiful. Anyone would have been tempted."

"I'm so sorry."

"Stop. I don’t want you to apologize. If you love him, you shouldn’t have to."

"I'm not apologizing for that...I just. I'm sorry for hurting you. If I could take away the pain I've caused you, I would."

"I know you would," she said, leaning up to kiss him one last time. "I forgive you, Adam."

"Thank you," he whispered again, pressing his lips to hers. He was grateful to have her forgiveness, her love. He needed that.

She pulled back and smiled softly, with tears in her eyes. "Now, go before I change my mind and tie you up in the basement." She was trying her best to be a good person about this, to not hurt him any worse than he already was. God, knows he deserved to be hurt for what he'd done, but she just couldn’t do that to him. She couldn’t be that malicious.

Adam nodded, pulling back from her embrace. He knew the sacrifice she was making. Knew that behind her joking words and cheerful tone, she was breaking apart inside. "I love you," he told her once again, before turning and heading for the door. Taking a deep breath he walked from the house, pulling the door closed behind him.

#afislash #Advey #Adam Carson/OFC #The Devil Inside #co-written with havoksangel #cheating #AU #sparkinside writes

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sparkinsidewrites · 4 years

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The Devil Inside - Chapter Nine

Title: The Devil Inside

Chapter: 9/18

Character/Pairing: Davey Havok/Adam Carson; Adam Carson/OFC

Genre: Angst

Rating: Explicit

Authors Notes/Warnings: Nothing in this piece ever happened. I claim no ownership nor do I make any sort of profit from this, other than pride and a sense of amusement.

NINE

Adam’s heart raced as he scrambled into the driver's seat, slamming the door closed behind him. He couldn’t think. Couldn't breath. Oh God. What was he going to do? Panic flooded through him. He needed to get out. Needed to clear his head. Needed to get away.

God, he’d fucked everything up. He’d fucked up with Aubrey. And Davey. He couldn’t even think on it. He’d let Davey use him, fuck him. He’d wanted it. Needed it. And now everything had spiraled so far out of his control. Loved him? Davey couldn’t love him...Could he? No, he couldn’t let himself think on it. He couldn’t.

The road twisted before him, but Adam paid it little mind. He didn’t care where he ended up. He just needed to calm himself down. He needed to think. Tears prickled in his eyes, blurring his vision. Hastily, he wiped them away with the back of his hand. He couldn’t break down now. He refused to break down now. Breathing harshly, he pressed harder on the gas.

The sun had dipped behind the hills in the distance, when Adam finally came to his senses, finding himself parked in front of a small house on the far side of town. It only took him a moment to register just who’s house it was. Davey’s. God, how did he end up here?

Davey sat curled up with a book in the black chair in the corner of his modest livingroom. A few candles were lit and soft music played in the background as he tried desperately to calm his nerves. He'd wanted to tell Aubrey the truth, do the right thing. However, a part of him knew that the right thing was to keep her from getting stressed. She was pregnant, he refused to risk it. No matter how badly his conscious pressed him to tell the truth. Damn it, when did I start to care?

Adam found himself staring blankly at the dimly lit house, his hands gripping the wheel before him tightly. How the hell did he get here? He'd never wanted to seek Davey out. He didn't want anything more to do with him. It didn't matter that his body screamed otherwise. He didn't need Davey. Liar, his mind screamed, Traitor.

He wanted to turn the car around, head home. Forget he'd ever come. But he couldn't. He wouldn't. Davey was inside, he could see the soft glow of candles from the livingroom window. He was there and Adam couldn’t force himself to leave.

Davey leaned his head back against the chair, closing the book. He couldn’t focus enough to read. Couldn’t shut off his thoughts. He wanted Adam. He wanted to feel his hands on his body. He wanted to be made love to. That thought scared him. Since when did he ever want things to be gentle and loving?

Leave, Carson. Just fucking leave. Go home. Go back to Aubrey. Confess and beg for her forgiveness. You don't need this. You don't want this. Just leave. But Adam’s body refused to act. He sat there, eyes locked on the house before him, thoughts consumed with the man inside. Why couldn’t he leave?

Davey pushed himself up from the chair, the low hum of a car pulling towards the house catching his attention. Slowly he walked over to the window, pulled open the curtain and peaked out. His breath caught in his throat. Adam.

The subtle movement of the curtains in the livingroom window caught Adam's attention. He'd seen him. Davey knew he was there. Adam knew he should leave. Just turn his car around and go. But he sat there frozen. Davey had seen him.

Slowly, Davey backed away from the curtain and walked do the front door, opening it. He had no idea how Adam had found him. How the fuck did he find him? A million thoughts swam through his mind. The only thing he could think of was the records from the college. They’d taken down his address and such for their records when they’d hired him. Maybe Adam had seen them.

Adam's blood froze as he the front door slowly opened, revealing Davey’s slender form. Oh God. He couldn't move. He couldn't think. Oh God.

Davey stood at the door way, his shoulder leaning against the frame. His hair was down and swept to one side and his arms folded. What was Adam doing here?

Despite his better judgment, Adam turned the ignition of the car off, slowly opening his door. Swallowing thickly, he walked up the sidewalk towards Davey. He shouldn't be here. Why the hell was he here?

The stoic expression on Davey's face struck Adam. He looked so cold. So indifferent. There was no way this man could love him. Not with a heart of stone. It was another one of his games. Adam had been stupid to even consider otherwise.

"Why are you here?" Davey posed, his voice cold and even.

"Why did you lie to her?" Adam countered, shoving his hands in his pockets as he neared Davey, his eyes never leaving the man’s face.

"Excuse me?"

"Is all of this just a game to you? Did you just wake up decide, 'Hey I'm going to ruin some stranger's life today'?" Each word that feel from Adam’s lips was punctuated with a harsh stare. He needed to know why.

Davey looked at him, eyes cold. "I don’t know what you're talking about."

"Aubrey. Me. Are we just some sort of pawn for your twisted little game?"

"No," he said pushing off the door and walking inside, leaving the door open. His voice was cold and he was trying his best not to show any emotion. He couldn’t afford to.

"Don't you walk away from me, dammit!" Adam hissed, hand locking around Davey's arm, halting his movement.

"What the fuck do you want from me?" He shouted, turning back to face Adam.

"I want to know why. Why me? Why the hell did you have to ruin my life?" Adam’s eyes were wide and laced with anger and confusion.

"I wasn’t trying to. I didn’t know it would have this kind of effect on you. I didn’t plan on it having this kind of effect on you. I was attracted to you and I have always gotten what I wanted. I wanted you. I got you. It's done," he yelled, his heart breaking. It wasn’t as simple as that anymore. Everything had changed and his head was reeling from the effort.

"Done? My life is over and all you can say is it's done? I betrayed the one person I promised myself I wouldn't never hurt because of you and all you can say is it's done? No, I don't except that! You can't just go fucking with other people's lives!" Adam's chest heaved, his eyes dark and wide with fury.

Davey stared at him. "You wanted me just as much as I wanted you and we both know it! You need to just leave me the hell alone," he screamed, tears welling in his eyes. No, he was not going to lose it. If he cried it was all over.

"Fine. I wanted you! Is that what you want to hear?! Yes, I wanted you but I never...NEVER would have acted on it if YOU hadn't forced yourself on me. I hate you." Adam hissed, swallowing thickly. He stared blankly at the man before him, "I hate you."

Davey looked down and shut his eyes. "Can you just go?" He was trembling, trying his best to fight off the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. "You hate me, fine. Just leave."

Tense silence passed between the two men. "I can't," Adam whispered, "I can't."

Davey’s eyes widened slowly, confusion shining desperately in them. "Why?"

"You told her you loved me. Why did you tell her that? Why?"

Davey's head shot up, his eyes full of tears. He should have known she would tell him.

"Answer me," Adam pleaded, "Why?"

Davey shook his head. He couldn’t say it. Not to Adam. He turned his head back down and clenched his eyes shut to block the tears threatening to fall. Please leave.

Adam refused to leave. Not without answers. Not without some reason why. "So what...You can tell her all about it, but you can't give me a simple answer?" Adam's tone was indigent. "Look at me dammit. Tell me why!"

Davey looked up at him, glaring. "I told her the fucking truth," he shouted. "Is that what you wanted? I fell in love with you," he choked out as tears fell down his cheeks.

Adam's jaw slackened, his eyes widening. "I don't understand..."

"Me either. Now can you leave?" He hissed coldly as he wiped the tears away. He needed to get his control back. Needed to calm down.

"You love me?" Adam whispered, starting at Davey. He didn't know what to think. Davey loved him. He'd ruined his life, but he loved him. Tears burned in his own eyes. What was he supposed to say to that?

"Yes, now please go," he said, his voice was no better than a whimper.

Lowering his head, Adam nodded. He didn't know what else to do. What else to say. A jumble of emotions flooded through him but he was too conflicted to think of sorting through them. Not now.

"This wasn’t supposed to go this far," Davey said softly.

Adam paused, clenching his fists to his sides. "Well it did." He shouldn't have come here. Davey looked up at him, their eyes locking. He knew he needed to look away, but he couldn’t.

Davey’s eyes burned Adam. Shook him to his very core. But he couldn't tear himself away from his gaze. He hated this. All of it. Swallowing thickly, he forced himself to turn away.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"That doesn't fix anything," Adam whispered somberly. Nothing would fix this, he knew it. Everything he'd worked so hard for, everything he loved was gone. And he could only blame himself. He’d let it happen. He was weak, tempted, and it would cost him everything.

"You can go back to your life with her. You never have to see me again," Davey told Adam, studying his face. I need you to see me.

"She'll never forgive me for this. I can't forgive myself for it. It's over, all of it. Done," he hissed, tossing Davey's words back at him.

"She never has to know. I won’t tell her," Davey assured him. "I don’t want to see her hurt."

Adam shook his head. "I won't lie to her. Not again I’ve lied to her enough. I can’t do it anymore. She deserves better than that."

"You can’t tell her now." Davey pleaded, his thoughts immediately went to the baby. If Adam told her, it could be a disaster. He couldn’t ruin this too.

"I can't lie to her," Adam protested again, his voice soft. Aubrey deserved to know the truth. She deserved someone better than him.

"Adam, you can’t tell her!"

"It's none of your business anymore, Davey. You said so yourself." Adam shook his head. "I refuse to lie to her anymore."

"Adam..." Davey looked at him, eyes pleading for him to understand. It wasn’t his place to tell Adam about the baby. He shouldn’t tell him. Aubrey needed to tell him but he needed to know.

"What, Davey?" Adam hissed, "Why do you care? It has nothing to do with you anymore."

Davey’s eyes lowered to the ground briefly before rising to lock on Adam’s once again. "I... she... she's pregnant, Adam,” he whispered, "You can’t fucking tell her."

Adam’s eyes widened as Davey’s words slowly registered in his mind. "She...What?" No, she couldn’t be. He would have known.

"She's pregnant," Davey said again, softly

Adam shook his head in disbelief, "No."

Davey nodded. "Yes, she is. She told me at the book store. You're going to be a father, Adam."

"She she told you?" Adam choked out. Why would she...Why him? Why didn’t she tell me?

Davey looked at him, nodding softly. "She had a baby book in her hand. I asked. She told," he said coldly.

"She would have told me," he whispered, shaking his head, "She would have told me."

"She just found out this morning."

A wave of nausea overtook Adam. If she just found out that meant she was...The implications knocked the wind out of him. "Oh God." Adam felt his knees start to give under him. He could have hurt her, hurt their child. "Oh my God."

"Adam? Are you alright?" Davey asked, his voice full of concern, a fact which surprised even him, as he placed a hand on Adam’s shoulder.

He stiffened under Davey's touch. Oh God. "I could have...Oh God..."

"Adam?" Davey moved closer, looking at Adam. He was pale, shaking. "Adam?"

Tears slowly spilled down Adam's cheeks. He shrugged out of Davey's embrace, his mind reeling. What had he done? Oh God, what had he done?

Davey stepped closer still, despite Adam’s pushing him away, and wrapped his arms around him. He had fucked everything up. He'd never meant for this to happen, none of it. He never meant to hurt this man.

Adam sank slowly to the cold concrete beneath him, drawing his knees up to his chest. He could barely feel Davey's warmth against him. He could barely think straight, his mind racing.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay." Davey knelt down next to him, wrapping his arms lightly around Adam’s shaking form.

Adam shook his head vigorously.

"Would you rather I didn’t tell you?"

"She's pregnant...and I...I could have...I...Oh God...I'm going to be sick," he whispered, hand covering his mouth. Oh God, what kind of a monster was he?

Davey lifted Adam’s chin, locking eyes with the man beside him. "You want to use my bathroom?"

Adam shook his head. "I want to die," he whispered solemnly.

Davey looked down, guilt coursing through him. "You didn’t know. This is my fault. I'm so sorry."

Adam shook his head again.

"Look at me," Davey pleaded.

Silently, Adam raised his eyes to Davey, guilt and uncertainty shining in them.

Gently, Davey wiped the tears from his cheek. "I can disappear," he whispered. "I can pick up and leave if that’s what you need." His face was dangerously close to Adam's as he spoke and he tried desperately to ignore how badly he needed to kiss him. To feel Adam’s lips pressed intimately against his own.

Adam shook his head, "No." Davey's fingers brushing against his cheek sent a shiver through his body that he fought desperately to ignore. "It won't fix what I've done," he whispered.

"But if I'm not here it may help," Davey told him, shifting to make himself more comfortable on his knees in front of Adam "I don’t want you to anymore hurt," he continued as he wiped away the tears that continued to spill from Adam’s eyes.

Again Adam shook his head, "You don't understand..."

"I don’t understand what?" Davey asked, cutting Adam off, his eyes searching the man’s face for an answer.

"What I did...What I could have done," Adam whispered, burying his head in his hands. He was a monster.

Davey pulled him against his chest, not used to having to comfort someone. He was the monster, not Adam. Had it not been for him, none of this would have happened. "Adam, it’s not your fault. I did this. Me. Not you. Please just tell me what’s wrong. What did you do?"

"Aubrey...I didn't mean to...I was so angry and confused...I wanted to forget....and I almost...I could have..." His voice trailed off, broken by his sobs and gasps for air.

"What?" Davey asked, confusion spreading through his voice. "What could you have done?"

"She told me to stop...But I just...I didn't hear her and I just...If I hadn't stopped I would have..."

Davey's eyes widened and he could feel the man trembling in his arms. "Adam, you wouldn’t have," he whispered. "Look at me."

Adam pulled back, refusing to raise his eyes. He was a monster. A wretched excuse for a human being. He didn’t deserve this understanding. He didn’t deserve anything

He raised Adam's face to meet his own. "You wouldn’t have." Their faces were inches apart and that alone was about to drive Davey insane. He needed him so much and he hated that he did. He shouldn’t need this. He shouldn’t need anyone.

Adam's eyes were empty, broken. He wanted to curl into a little ball and simply disappear. "You don't know that," he whispered.

"Yes, I do,” he reassured Adam, "You love her and you would have never hurt her had I not done what I did," Davey continued, softly. "You would have stopped yourself."

"But I could have. I almost..."

"Stop it!" Davey spat, cutting Adam off. "You didn’t. That's what matters." He forced Adam's eyes to lock with his. "Don’t blow it by telling her the truth. She will never know about us."

"I can't lie to her, Davey!" Adam hissed, his eyes wide, "I couldn't live with myself if I did."

"And you'd rather lose her by telling her the truth? That you wanted to be fucked another man? That you were fucked by another man," Davey shouted back. Why couldn’t Adam understand? He still had a chance to take his life back. He didn’t have to lose everything. Why the hell wasn’t Adam taking it?

"I'd rather lose her than spend the rest of my life living a lie!" Adam trembled, "I love her too much to lie to her."

"You already have been. You liked what I did to you and you hate it. Do you really think she will let you see your child if you tell her this? Adam, think about this for a minute. I have nothing to lose, but you do."

Adam chuckled darkly, "I've already lost everything."

"No, you haven’t," Davey protested. "Let me be a secret and go back to your life with her and forget I ...We ever happened," he whispered, tears filling his eyes. God, he wanted to be so much more than a bad memory. But he couldn’t. For Adam’s sake, he couldn’t. What he wanted couldn’t matter now.

"No, Davey. I'll know. It will always be there and sooner or later she'll know too. It's better if she learns the truth from me now instead of me stringing her along. Lying to her. I don't want to trap her. She deserves so much better."

Davey looked down, tears slowly slipping down his cheeks. "Do what you want." The wind blew blending their scents. Davey took a deep breath and trembled. He was addicted to the man in front of him and he had no choice but to let him go. It killed him.

"I have to Davey. I can't do this to her. I can't lie...Believe me the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt her. She's my world. I just...I can't do this to her. Not anymore." It was over, everything he’d wanted; this marriage, a family, everything, it was all over.

Davey bit his lip. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, hanging his head. He slid his hand on Adam's knee for comfort and just because he needed to touch him.

Adam shivered slightly under his touch, he stopped fighting against this reaction. He’d lied to himself one time too many and he couldn’t do it anymore. "I know. But it doesn't matter now."

Davey looked at Adam, leaning in slightly, his warm breath coming in slow pants. He needed something to take with him. Something to hold onto if he was truly going to back away from Adam completely.

Adam could feel the heat of Davey's body inching towards him, his warm breath against his skin. "Davey, what are you..."

"Please," he whispered, tears in his eyes. He'd never asked anyone for this before and he needed it more than he needed to breathe. "Please." Don’t turn me away.

Adam sighed, knowing what Davey was asking. What he needed. With a shuddering sigh, Adam let himself be led. Davey needed this. Maybe they both did.

Softly, gently, Adam felt Davey's lips press against his own. A shiver of pleasure and contentment flooded through him.

Davey whimpered softly, his demeanor completely different than it had been when they first met. Lightly, he placed his hand on Adam's cheek, his lip trembling from trying to hold back his tears. He failed miserably. They rolled freely down his cheek and there was nothing he could do about it.

Raising his hand, Adam gently brushed away Davey's tears, deepening the kiss. His mind swirled in thought. He'd hated this man. Hated everything he'd done. But now...He couldn't think on it. He refused to think on it. Not now. Thinking would do him little good now. He just needed to feel.

The harsh screech of tires startled them both from the kiss and Davey jerked his head away to turn and look. A light blue car speed off down the road. He didn’t recognize it, but from the look on Adam's face and the way the man stiffened, he did.

The harsh squeal slammed Adam back into the present. Eyes darting around, he finally settled on the car speeding away. The color drained from his face. Oh God. Aubrey. That was Aubrey's car. She'd seen them. The kiss. She knew. Oh God, she knew.

Davey stood quickly. "Adam... that..."

Pushing himself to his feet, Adam sprinted to his car, ignoring Davey's call. Oh God. She knew. Guilt coursed through him. Not like this. It isn't supposed to be like this.

#afislash #Advey #The Devil Inside #co-written with havoksangel #cheating #AU #sparkinside writes #Adam Carson/OFC

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sparkinsidewrites · 4 years

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The Devil Inside - Chapter Eight

Title: The Devil Inside

Chapter: 8/18

Character/Pairing: Davey Havok/Adam Carson; Adam Carson/OFC

Genre: Angst

Rating: Explicit

Authors Notes/Warnings: Nothing in this piece ever happened. I claim no ownership nor do I make any sort of profit from this, other than pride and a sense of amusement.

EIGHT

Davey rushed into the bookstore, walking as quickly as he could, his heart pounding. He needed to get far away from the alley and what had just happened. He never had to see Adam again and that was fine with him. He couldn’t handle seeing him again. Turning the corner quickly, Davey slammed into the unsuspecting person standing at the end of the aisle, a startled "Oh" falling from his lips.

Mind swimming in thought, Aubrey ran her fingers along the shelf of books in front of her. This wasn't happening. It was too soon. She wasn't ready for this and she knew he wouldn't be either. And after what he'd done last night, the way he'd broken down, she wasn't sure if he could handle this. If they could handle it. She didn’t know what she was going to do.

The warm body that slammed into hers sent her stumbling back a few feet, sending her nearly back into the row of books behind her. Catching her breath and calming herself, Aubrey's eyes fell on Davey’s form. His hair was tousled and his eyes were red and glistening. "Davey," she started softly, sensing something was not quite right with the man before her.

Davey stared at her. He didn’t know what to say. After what had just happened...."I'm... I'm sorry." The apology meant double for him. Looking at her, at the innocence still present on her face, he was sorry for what he'd done. What he’d wanted. It was different when he didn’t know those involved, but he did now and it was killing him.

She smiled softly at him, touching his arm. He was close to shaking, something was very, very wrong. Pushing aside her own fears and worries, she spoke softly, "You look like you could use some coffee and someone to talk to."

Davey blinked a few times. Why did she have to be so nice to him? He didn’t deserve her kindness or her understanding. He turned to the bookshelf and took in what section they stood and quickly looked back at her, mouth open a bit in question. Oh no.

Aubrey noted his confused expression, shaking her head. No, this wasn't about her right now. She would be fine. Davey on the other hand..."Come on. It's my treat."

Davey reluctantly walked with her to the coffee bar and sat down in one of the free booths. "You don’t have to, Aubrey, really."

She smiled softly at him, "Nonsense. You bought me a cup the other day. It's only fair that I repay the favor. Besides you look like you could use someone to talk to." Turning her attention to the woman behind the counter, she placed her order. One regular coffee and one decaf. Once the coffees were made, Aubrey smiled at the woman behind the counter and paid for them. Turning back around, she made her way back to the booth handed Davey the regular coffee, settling herself across from him.

He looked down for a few moments and took a sip from the cup. "Thank you." Taking a deep breath he looked up at her. "Baby section, huh?" If she was buying it for friend, lovely. If she was buying it for herself he was so beyond screwed.

A heavy sigh fell from her lips as she placed her cup down onto the table. "God works in mysterious ways, I guess." She smiled lightly at him. This should be happy news. She was going to be a mother. Why was she so uncertain?

Davey felt as if he were going to be ill. Aubrey was pregnant and her fiancé had just come in his mouth no more than ten minutes prior. His face paled. "Does... does Adam know?"

Aubrey shook her head, "I just found out this morning...And we...Things have been...different lately." Why was she telling him this? Davey certainly didn't need her problems, not when he obviously had more than enough of his own.

"What do you mean different?"

She swallowed thickly, "He's distant...And he...He's not Adam anymore," she finished softly, her mind flashing back to the previous night. She'd never been terrified of Adam before. Nor as scared for him. But he hadn't opened up to her. Once his shaking had ceased, he'd pulled away from her and retreated to the couch downstairs. He'd turned away from her. And as scared as she was of him, his distance wounded her. Crushed her.

Davey looked down and knew he was responsible. There was no other explanation. "I'm sorry, Aubrey." He looked up, concerned. He'd seen Adam's temper last night and today. The next thought terrified him. If he'd caused Adam to lose it so much that he... "Aubrey, did he hurt you?"

Aubrey's eyes locked on Davey's, forcing a soft smile. "He didn't...hurt me...Just...He scared me." There was a fear in Davey's eyes that shook her to her core. "Davey, what happened to you?"

Davey looked at her. "Nothing."

"Bullshit. Talk to me. There's something bothering you, Davey. You need to talk to someone."

He sighed, looking down. "Aubrey, I... what would you have done if Adam had been married when you met him?"

Aubrey knitted her eyebrows at the question, caught somewhat off guard by it. "I....um...I wouldn't have done anything. If he was married, he was off limits. I wouldn't allow myself to be responsible to breaking up a home or a marriage." His question seemed so random, "Davey...Did you....Are you thinking about becoming involved with a married man?"

He looked away and bit his lip. "I kind of already did. Not married... just very involved. It was supposed to be a one-time thing. I never do relationships, but there is something about this man... I can’t shake him."

She closed her eyes, shaking her head, "Oh Davey." Slowly, she reached out her hand, resting it on his shoulder. "This...How did you and he get involved? Did you know he was...in a relationship when you met him?" Aubrey wasn't sure what to say to him. Whoever this man Davey found himself involved with was, it was a bad situation.

"He told me and I pursued him anyway," he whispered. He was a whore. Saying it out loud, all that he'd done, made him realize that Adam was right. He was no more than a whore.

Aubrey sighed, "I...I can't say I approve of what you've done...You shouldn't have gotten yourself involved." She paused, looking him in the eyes, "But you're human. We all make mistakes. And I have no right to judge you for this. Davey, whatever you have with this man, you need to end it before you find yourself too tangled in it to find your way out."

He hung his head, allowing the first tear to fall from his eyes. "I know, but... I think I'm falling in love with him." He’d said it. Confessed it. So why did it feel as though the knowledge were still crushing him.

"Davey..."

He took a deep breath. "I don’t want talk about it anymore," he said quickly.

The harshness in his tone startled her slightly, "O okay. I'm here though...If you need to talk," she whispered, echoing the words he’d given her the other day.

He nodded. "I appreciate it, though I don’t deserve it." He stood up and leaned down to kiss the crown of her head. He lingered for a few moments, fighting breaking down. "Thank you," he whispered before running off.

Aubrey watched Davey sprint from the booth towards the exit. His reaction puzzled her. There was something else, something more he hadn't told her. She could sense it. Staring down at the cup of coffee before her, she sighed. "Oh Davey, what have you done?"

Gathering herself and her bag, Aubrey climbed out of the booth a few minutes later, making her own way to the door. She sighed, her mind reeling. Softly she brushed her free hand over her stomach. A mother. She was going to be someone's mother.

She'd always wanted children, so had Adam. In fact, they'd planned to start a family as soon as they were married and settled enough financially to afford to raise and care for a child. Aubrey sighed, were they really ready for this? And now Davey. She worried for him. Whatever he had gotten himself involved in, it was obviously eating away at him. Shaking her head, she climbed into her car. Life did always seem to catch you by surprise.

The drive home only took ten minutes, a fact Aubrey was grateful for. She was tired, because of the baby she reasoned. Pulling the car into the driveway beside Adam's, she shut off the engine and made her way towards the kitchen door. Aubrey unlocked the door and stepped inside. "Adam, where are you?" She asked, softly.

When he'd arrived home, Adam had scrambled upstairs and into the shower. Scrubbing himself raw once again, he dried himself off and made his way into the bedroom, pulling on a clean pair of pajama bottoms and a t shirt. Composing himself, Adam made his way back downstairs and into his studio, pulling the door to behind him. He wanted to lose himself in his work. He needed to. He'd just settled himself in his chair when Aubrey's soft voice carried from the kitchen. Guilt washed over him once again.

Aubrey called again for him. She needed to talk to him. Needed to tell him about the baby. He needed to know. Aubrey walked over to the studio door and knocked softly. "Baby, are you down there?"

Swallowing thickly, Adam managed to find his voice, "Yes. I I'm in here."

"Can we talk?"

Panic flooded through him. She knows. Oh God, she knows. "I I guess," he called back. She knew and he was going to lose her. He deserved to lose her. Oh God.

She walked over to the couch tucked in the corner of the room and sat down, both hands on her stomach. Nervousness coursed through her. She hoped he would be okay with this. She needed him to be okay with this.

With shaky hands, Adam pushed himself off of his chair to join her on the couch, settling on the far end. He couldn't touch her. He didn't deserve to. Not after what he'd done. Not after all of this. "Wh what did you want to talk about?" he asked, his voice wavering slightly.

"Well..." She looked up with tears forming in her eyes. She was so scared to tell him. What if he didn’t want this? "I... I went to the bookstore today," she began.

Adam's blood turned to ice. The bookstore. She saw them. She knew. He could feel the bile rising in his throat.

"I ran into Davey, by the way," she said, avoiding telling him at all costs.

"Da Davey?" Oh God, he was going to be sick.

She nodded. "He didn’t look well and I bought him a coffee this time and we talked." She was getting rather good at avoiding this issue. It was easier this way. She would tell him. She knew she had to, but she couldn’t. Not right now.

Oh God. They'd talked. Davey told her. She knew. Adam was shaking, nausea and panic coursing through him. "Wh what did you talk about?" I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm so so sorry.

She reached out for him. "Honey, are you okay?" Something wasn’t right. Adam was pale and he was shaking. "Are you sick?"

Adam nodded. It wasn't exactly a lie.

"I'm sorry. Can I get you something?"

He shook his head. There wasn't anything anyone could do to make this better. He'd brought it on himself. Adam had everything he'd ever wanted in life and he'd thrown it all away. Another wave of nausea overtook him and he sprinted to the nearest bathroom, dry heaving into the toilet.

Aubrey shot up and ran after him. So far, morning sickness hadn’t gotten her and maybe he was feeling the sympathy pains that they say most fathers got. Maybe he didn’t have to know to feel it. Maybe he knew. Slowly she knelt down beside him and rubbed his back. "Baby."

For a moment he allowed himself to relax under her touch. Her hands were warm and soft. But reality slowly crept back in. He didn't deserve her touch or her sympathy. He didn't deserve anything other than damnation.

She took a deep breath, beginning her story once again. She needed to share this with someone. Needed another opinion and she trusted Adam and his judgment. She always had. "He's in love with an involved man and I think he's terrified," she said softly, continuing to rub his back.

Adam froze, her words slowly sinking into his mind. In love? No, he couldn't be. This was another one of his games. Another one of his tricks. Davey couldn't love him. He couldn't.

"He was practically crying when he ran into me," Aubrey continued, mind falling back to the fear, guilt and confusion in Davey’s eyes. He’d looked so...broken.

Confusion flooded through Adam. This wasn’t happening. With a heavy sigh, he fell back against the cool wall of the room, his eyes shut tightly. This didn't make sense. None of this made sense.

"I feel bad for him," she said curling up next to him and laying her head on his chest.

"H he's in love?" Adam finally managed to choke out.

"That's what it seemed like. That's what he told me. He said he thought he was falling in love with the man. That he knew he'd been taken, but pursued him anyway. He said he did it to do it, but never wanted to happen more than once."

Adam wasn't sure what to think. What to say. His head pounded and his heart raced. Davey loved him. No, God. This wasn't happening. Please God, say this isn't happening.

"I love you, Adam," she whispered. "Seeing Davey and the trouble he's in just reminds me of how glad I am that things are so simple with us."

He wanted to scream, Aubrey's words cutting him deeply. Oh God, what had he done? He wanted to die. Wanted to disappear. She loved him. Trusted him. And he'd betrayed her. Lied to her. Hurt her. He was a monster.

"I feel sorry for whoever the other person is. I bet they have no clue," she continued, holding him tighter.

Adam swallowed thickly, pulling himself away from Aubrey. "He should have known better. Both of them should have." He didn't deserve her pity or her understanding. He was a fraud, a cheat, the scum of the earth. Another wave of nausea flooded through him. He closed his eyes, praying that it would pass.

She looked down, chickening out on telling him. "Adam?"

"Ye yes?"

"I know you're still upset about last night."

More guilt. "I...God...I didn't...I..." He was despicable.

She silenced him with one finger. "Make love to me," she whispered. She trusted him and she wanted to show him that she did. Wanted to show him she wasn’t afraid. That she loved him. She wanted her Adam back.

Adam's eyes widened at her request. She wanted him. She trusted him. He didn't deserve it. "I...I can't."

She looked away with tears in her eyes. They were going to have a child and he couldn’t even make love to her now. A world of confusion spread throughout her body. "Is there someone else?"

His eyes slipped slowly closed, guilt overtaking him. "Aubrey...I...I just...After what I did...I...I can't...I don't want to hurt you." Tears prickled in his eyes. Why didn't he just tell her? Why didn't he confess and let himself suffer the consequences? He was a coward. A fucking coward.

"I need you," she said weakly, starting to tremble. "I miss you, Adam. I miss you and I love you and I want you inside of me. Close to me. Please."

"I just...I can't...I...I have to go." Pushing himself warily to his feet, Adam fled from the room. Grabbing the car keys and the pair of shoes he'd left by the door, he ran. He needed to clear his head. If he was going to come clean with it all, he needed to get himself together.

Aubrey hugged herself and leaned against the bathroom wall. She let the tears flow freely and loudly, needing to get all of the frustration out. She loved him and she was losing him. She knew that she was. It was only a matter of time.

#afislash #Advey #The Devil Inside #co-written with havoksangel #cheating #AU #sparkinside writes #Adam Carson/OFC

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sparkinsidewrites · 4 years

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The Devil Inside - Chapter Seven

Title: The Devil Inside

Chapter: 7/18

Character/Pairing: Davey Havok/Adam Carson; Adam Carson/OFC

Genre: Angst

Rating: Explicit

Authors Notes/Warnings: Nothing in this piece ever happened. I claim no ownership nor do I make any sort of profit from this, other than pride and a sense of amusement.

SEVEN

He shouldn't have gone in today, Adam knew that. How he'd managed to make it through his class without completely falling apart, he still didn't quite grasp. A tense sigh fell from his lips as he gripped the wheel in his hands tightly. He hadn't been able to focus on much of anything, his mind a jumbled mess of thought and emotion.

What happened to him? What did he do to deserve to have his life ripped apart before his very eyes? He hated himself. Hated the monster he'd become. He'd hurt Aubrey...He could have...Oh God, he'd hurt her, betrayed her. He'd let Davey use him. Let him touch him, make him feel things he shouldn't feel. And he'd wanted it. Needed it. He still did. God, what was wrong with him?

Davey walked down the sidewalk towards the bookstore. After what had happened between him and Adam the night before, his reaction to being kicked out of the classroom right after sex, he needed something to keep his mind off of things. He never got hurt when he did things like this, but this time, he actual felt something. He couldn’t explain it, nor did he want to. He didn’t know a thing about Adam besides the fact that he looked liked he would be a fun challenge, but the challenge was starting to turn things on him and he seemed powerless to stop it.

The light turned green, the shrill honk behind him pulling him out of his mind for the moment, and Adam eased his car into the intersection. Just a few more lights and he'd be on his street. Then he could lock himself in his studio and forget. He wanted to forget. Wanted to disappear. After all he'd done... A flash of dark hair from the sidewalk caught his eye.

Whipping his head around violently, his eyes fell on Davey's form as he disappeared into the bookstore. Adam's blood boiled, his body reacting just as strongly. Davey. He was the reason everything in Adam’s life was broken. He'd done this to him. "Not anymore," Adam hissed, pulling the car violently against the curb and shutting off the engine.

Briskly, he made his way across the street and into the bookstore, eyes locking on Davey as he disappeared into a row of books.

Davey grabbed a book from the shelf and turned it over to read the back, running his fingers through his hair with his free hand. Taking a deep breath, he put it back and grabbed another. Nothing seemed to grab his interest. A sigh fell from his lips. He needed to pull himself together.

Adam watched Davey thumb through the books on the shelf, his anger growing steadily. How dare he act as though everything was fine? After all that he'd done to him. Silently, Adam made his way behind Davey, his hand falling roughly on his shoulder. "I need to talk to you," he hissed, his voice low and cold.

Davey jumped and turned his head, coming face to face and nearly mouth to mouth with Adam. His eyes scanned his face, from his lips to his eyes and locked on him. He was trying desperately to think of something to say, some smart ass comment, but he had nothing. What was wrong with him?

Eyes darkening, Adam tightened his grip on Davey's shoulder, pulling him behind him as he made his way towards the side entrance. A million thoughts echoed through his mind. He refused to think about just how firm and strong the muscles beneath his fingers felt. Or the way Davey's soft, alluring scent sent his senses reeling. No, he was here to show Davey once and for all that he couldn't fuck with his life. That he didn't control him.

Davey whimpered a bit and dropped the book as he was pulled outside of the door. "Adam, let me go. You're hurting me."

Stoutly ignoring Davey's protests, Adam continued to lead them both towards the side entrance and out into the alley. Once the door shut behind him, he whipped around, standing face to face with Davey once more. His eyes dark and seething. "You fucking arrogant piece of shit," he hissed, pushing Davey back from him.

Davey stared at him, shocked. He knew Adam had a temper, he could sense it in the defiance he’d shown the night before, but he never really expected to see it. Pulling his thoughts together, he pushed Adam back. "What the fuck is your problem? We have nothing to do with each other. Not anymore."

"What the fuck is my problem?!" Adam posed, laughing angrily, "What the fuck is yours?! You whore yourself around, manipulate people and for what? A quick fuck? Are you really that fucking desperate to get laid? Your hand not good enough, pretty boy?" He spat each word out, hands shaking at his sides. "I guess tricking people into fucking you is the only way you can get attention, isn't it? I'm not surprised. Who'd want a filthy whore like you?"

Davey looked at Adam, eyes blazing. Each word Adam hurled at him cut him deeper than he cared to admit, but he didn’t dare let him know this. He swallowed hard and moved until he was chest to chest with Adam. "You wanted this whore and you still do."

"Don't flatter yourself," Adam hissed, "It isn't very becoming. You'd love to think every man in this world wants you, wouldn't you? Does it make you feel special, David? Important? I guess the only thing you're good at is using your dick. and spreading your legs. But a whore has to make a living somehow, am I right?"

Davey pushed him hard against the wall on the opposite of the bookstore and held him there. "Fuck you. If you didn’t want it, you wouldn’t have let me," Davey snapped, glaring. "You're just angry because you enjoyed it and you’re even angrier that you want it again."

Adam swallowed thickly, trying his best to ignore the blistering heat of Davey's body so close to his. Davey's words shook him to his core, spurring on his anger. No. "Think what you want, you disgusting piece of shit." Violently, he shoved Davey off of him, his chest heaving, eyes glowing with anger, "I could do so much better than a lowly whore like you. I have done so much better. Why don't you just run along and find someone else to spread your legs for?"

Davey pushed Adam back against the wall a second time. "Then why the fuck are you here?" His eyes were almost black and staring straight into Adam's. "If I am so filthy and disgusting, why are you here? We're done. Go back to your perfect fucking life with Aubrey and leave this whore alone," he said, his voice cracking a bit. Adam's words stung.

Adam swallowed thickly, faltering for a moment, the mention of Aubrey's name tugging at his heart. "To make sure you know your place. To make sure you don't decide to come crawling back," he hissed, shoving Davey forcefully against the wall. The anger in his eyes shaking Adam to the core, sending a flicker of desire coursing though him. Davey was stunning like this. Hair tousled, eyes black, lips part, his chest heaving.

Davey grabbed Adam by the wrist and jerked him closer. "If you push me one more time..."

"You'll what, David?" Adam hissed, his voice defiant though he could barely think straight with Davey's hard, warm body so close to his. Oh fuck.

Davey's chest heaved and he licked his lips. His eyes were still locked on Adam's. Violently, Davey crushed his lips against his, moaning softly at first contact.

Adam stumbled backwards in shock as Davey's lips slammed against his. Pleasure and desire coursed through him. Roughly, his fingers tangled in Davey's hair, pulling their bodies flush against one another. He couldn't think about what he was doing or he'd crack. No, he just had to feel. And he was certainty feeling quite a bit.

Forcefully, he ground his erection against Davey's thigh, moaning at the contact. Oh fuck. This man would be the death of him.

Feeling Adam so close, knowing that he was the one who'd made them that way, sent a shiver up Davey's spine. Yes, he'd initiated the kiss, but Adam allowed it to continue. That meant something. Davey wanted him so bad he couldn’t stand it, but he was never one to do this with the same person twice. It was safer that way.

He rolled his hips against Adam's to show that he was in a similar state and pushed him against the brick wall again. The thought that they were in broad daylight behind a building didn’t faze him. All he wanted was Adam.

A sharp hiss fell from his lips as Adam felt Davey's cock rubbing roughly against his own thigh. Davey was hard. Davey wanted him. He wanted Davey. He couldn't think past that. He wouldn't let himself. A gasp of surprise erupted from his throat as he felt his back slam against the cold brick of the wall behind him.

Davey tore his mouth from Adam's and moved down to his the hollow of his throat. He jerked the neck of Adam's shirt to the side to kiss and bite his collar bone. He tasted so good, Davey could barely stand it.

Tangling his fingers tighter in Davey's hair, Adam tossed his head back moaning and whimpering as Davey bit and sucked at his throat. God, it felt divine. Pleasure wracked his body. "Fuck," he hissed, his cock throbbing in his jeans. He wasn't going to survive this.

Davey slowly descended down Adam's body, pulling the hem of his shirt up as he hit his knees in front of him. His mouth viciously attacked Adam's stomach as his hands worked open his belt and jeans. He wanted him. Wanted to taste him.

Adam's mind was reeling. Fuck, Davey was going to..."Oh fuck," he hissed, his head falling back against the wall behind him. The feel of Davey's lips on the heated skin of his abdomen and his hands working deftly on his pants was nearly too much for Adam. He needed this. Needed to feel the warm, wet, slick heat of Davey's mouth around him. Taking him in. Driving him wild. His hips bucked violently against Davey. Oh God, he wasn't going to survive this.

Davey looked up at Adam as he pulled his pants over his hips. He didn’t want there to be any objections. Not this time. Adam had to want this.

"Fuck," Adam hissed again, hips bucking against Davey's hands. His eyes were shut tightly, his chest heaving.

Davey reached in and pulled Adam's cock out of his boxers. His breath was hot on it as he leaned forward and took Adam into his mouth. He wasted no time in finding a rhythm that suited him; fast with soft moans every other descent.

A strangled moan fell from Adam's lips as Davey worked him. With every moan Davey released, Adam felt a violent shiver race through his body. God, he was so close and Davey was simply too good at this. Tangling his fingers tighter in Davey's hair, his hips bucked more and more violently against his mouth.

Davey splayed both hands across Adam's hips and pressed him against the wall to keep him from bucking. He pulled back just enough to suck on the throbbing head of Adam's cock before relaxing his throat to take him completely in.

Oh God. This was it, Davey was trying to kill him. Sharp hisses and heady moans fell from Adam's lips as he felt the head of his cock brush the back of Davey's silken throat. "Fuck. Oh fuck," he hissed. He wasn't going to last.

White hot sparks crackled through him and his vision clouded slightly. Whimpering, he pulsed helplessly into Davey's mouth, his back arching violently off the wall.

Davey moaned and swallowed him, taking in every drop he could. Adam tasted better than Davey had anticipated. He slid down his shaft and back until he was sure Adam was done and then pulled off of him, sitting back on his feet to catch his breath. Licking his lips, he looked up.

Adam panted, his chest heaving. Warmth and contentment flooded through him, his body heavy and numb. The cool air against his cock sent a shiver down his spine. Swallowing thickly, Adam slowly opened his eyes.

Davey locked eyes with him, wondering if he was going to be shoved away again. He didn’t know if he could handle that.

Guilt flooded through Adam once more as his eyes fell upon Davey's. No. Oh God. Please no. Panicking, he jerked back, hastily shoving himself back into his boxers and yanking his pants back up his hips. Aubrey's face flashed through his thoughts. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

Davey didn’t say a word. He turned his head to the side and pushed up to stand. He couldn’t look at Adam now and he knew it was only a matter of time before he was called a whore for the hundredth time that day. He didn’t need to hear it again.

Without a word, Adam fled from the alley. A million thoughts flooding through his mind. What had he done? Fuck, what had he done?

Davey turned to watch him leave, tears filling his eyes. He was done. He was done being used and not being the one in control. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. The way he was feeling right now was the reason he never let these things get this far and why he never returned for a second rendezvous. He was just done with this whole situation. He couldn’t do this anymore.

Sprinting across the street blindly, Adam tossed himself in his car. His chest heaved and a strangled sob feel from his lips as his head feel against the steering wheel. He was sick. Disgusting. He wanted Davey. Wanted to fuck him. Wanted to be fucked by him. This was wrong. This wasn't how he was supposed to feel. What he was supposed to want. Oh God. His mind flashed once again to Aubrey. He'd betrayed her again. He'd let himself betray her. Oh God. What was he going to do? What the fuck was he going to do?

#afislash #Advey #The Devil Inside #co-written with havoksangel #cheating #AU #sparkinside writes #Adam Carson/OFC

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sparkinsidewrites · 4 years

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The Devil Inside - Chapter Six

Title: The Devil Inside

Chapter: 6/18

Character/Pairing: Davey Havok/Adam Carson; Adam Carson/OFC

Genre: Angst

Rating: Explicit

Authors Notes/Warnings: Nothing in this piece ever happened. I claim no ownership nor do I make any sort of profit from this, other than pride and a sense of amusement.

SIX

Adam didn't remember the drive home. It passed him in a blur. How he'd gotten from his car, up the stairs and into the shower, he had no idea. All he could focus on now was scrubbing. Scrubbing every last inch of himself. Scrubbing off any trace of Davey. Of the sin they'd committed. The sin he'd let himself commit. He needed to wash away any trace. Wash away the memory. Everything.

His skin was red and raw by the time he stepped from the shower. Securing a towel roughly around his waist, Adam collapsed on the bed, burying his face in his pillow. He wanted to forget. He needed to forget. To disappear. God, what had he done?

Aubrey arrived home, a few hours later, from her church meet. Slowly made her way upstair, needing to make things right with Adam. She hated that things still weren’t settled between them. Hated that they’d fought. They hardly ever fought and now it seemed it was all they ever did.

She opened the bedroom door, seeing him laying on the bed, his back towards her. Aubrey pulled her panty hose off, the material of her skirt now rubbing against her legs, and crawled on the bed, kissing up Adam's chest. "I'm home."

Startled awake by her touch, Adam rolled over, his sleep laden eyes focusing on Aubrey's blurry form. "What time is it?" he murmured, mind still heavy with sleep. The sun had just begun to set, bright oranges and reds bleeding through the small window across from the bed.

"About seven," she answered, kissing over his chest up to his neck.

A soft moan fell from Adam's part lips as he felt Aubrey's warm breath on his skin. The wet heat of her tongue tracing over his Adam's apple. His eyes slowly drifted closed, losing himself in the sensations running rampant through him. He could lay like this for hours.

Shifting slightly to offer Aubrey more room, Adam felt a throbbing pain shot through him. Oh God. Memories of that afternoon flooded his mind once more. The anger and fear making him sick to his stomach. No, his mind hissed.

Hands locking roughly around Aubrey's waist, he violently switched their positions. He didn't want Davey. He didn't want what he'd done to him. He was straight. Straight. Savagely, he slammed his lips against Aubrey's. He was straight. He didn’t want Davey. Didn’t need him. And he would prove it.

Aubrey squealed as her back hit the mattress, Adam's mouth crushing hers. She was stunned to the point that she couldn’t even shut her eyes or kiss back. She moaned softly and pushed on his chest to get him to ease up.

His hips rocked harshly against hers, the friction forcing him to hiss against her lips. His tongue snaked between her parted lips, thrusting violently inside. Her body felt warm, soft, and divine against his. The feel of her hands pressing against his chest pulled another moan from him.

She pulled her mouth from him. "Adam?"

His lips crashed against hers once more, swallowing his name as it fell from her lips. He needed to feel her against him. Needed her. His free hand slid up her body to tangle in her hair, fingers tugging on the dark locks. God, she felt so good beneath him.

She whimpered, her heart racing. He was being so rough with her. He was never like this. It was starting to scare her. Aubrey pushed harder on his chest and turned her head again. As much as she wanted him, he was hurting her. "Adam, slow down a bit. Please."

Adam's lips and teeth attacked her neck, his other hand sliding between them to hike her skirt up. "Want you," he breathed harshly in her ear before pulling the lobe between his lips. This was what he wanted. Aubrey. This was all he'd ever want. This had to be. His hips rolled roughly into hers once again, the towel that was still fastened around his waist loosening with each thrust against her.

Again she whimpered, clawing at him. "Adam..."

The sharp pain of her nails against his skin only seemed to push Adam on. She wanted this. He knew she did. And he needed her. Needed this. Hungrily, he kissed back up her neck, across her jaw, before pressing his lips against hers once again, his tongue darting out to trace along her lips before pleading for re entrance into her mouth.

Aubrey opened her mouth to tell him he was hurting her but his lips covered hers before she even had a chance to protest. She wiggled under him, trying to move away, but his weight was too much. He was too strong.

He moaned against her parted lips, his tongue darting back into her mouth. The feel of her hips, her body writhing against his was exquisite. Wasting no time, the same hand that worked to hike her skirt up, slid beneath it once more to tug her underwear down and off her body.

Kissing her soundly, Adam rolled so he was completely on top of Aubrey, his naked hips rocking against hers, the contact sending ripples of pleasure through him. Yes. this was what he wanted. Not Davey. This. Aubrey.

"Adam, please," she whimpered tearing her mouth away, terrified of him. She kicked her legs a bit to move him away from her. The harder he rolled into her, the more he hurt her.

Something wasn't right. The fuzzy thought echoed in his mind, growing louder by the second. Something wasn't right. Pulling back slightly and panting, Adam's eyes focused on Aubrey's face. Tears streamed down her cheeks, her eyes wide and fearful. Guilt flooded through him once again as he violent pulled himself from her. He could feel the bile rising in his throat. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. What had he done?

She stared at him, her eyes wide and frightful. What was wrong with him? This wasn’t her Adam. Her body shook and she turned her head away. She couldn’t even look at him. Aubrey rolled to her side and closed her legs. She wanted him, yes, but not like this.

"Aubrey, I...Oh God...I..I didn't...I just...Oh God..." A wave of nausea overtook him. Sprinting up from the bed, Adam flew into the bathroom, expelling the contents of his stomach into the toilet. Oh God, what had he done?

She could hear him throwing up and clenched her eyes shut. Her sobs were louder than she intended them to be but she couldn’t shut them off. What was wrong with him? All she wanted was the hurt to go away, for the shock to disappear. This wasn’t her Adam.

Falling back onto the cool tiled floor of the bathroom, Adam cradled his head in his hands. If he hadn't stopped, he would have...raped her. Aubrey. He would have raped Aubrey. Oh God. Another wave of nausea overtook him. Throwing himself back over the toilet, Adam dry heaved. His heart was racing. What kind of a sick monster was he?

Aubrey laid in bed, waiting for him to come out. A part of her wanted to go comfort him. She loved him and comforting him was what it seemed like she should do, but the other half was terrified to move. She didn’t know just who she would find if she went after him. That thought terrified her.

Pulling himself back against the floor once more, Adam's eyes fell shut. He wanted to die. How could he have even touched her the way he had? How could he have been so wrapped up in his own mind to realize what he was doing? He deserved to die. How could he have done this?

Taking a deep breath, Aubrey called out to him. "Adam..."

Her voice echoed in from the bedroom, but he couldn't answer her. He couldn't bring himself to move. Why couldn't the floor just open up and swallow him whole? "I'm sorry," he whispered, wrapping his arms tightly around himself, "I'm so sorry."

Her tears streamed down her face faster when he didn’t answer her. They were happy a week ago. What had happened with in that week to make him change? What happened to him? "Adam?" She called again, her voice tired and frail.

"I'm sorry," he choked out again, between the sobs that wracked his body. He was a monster. A horrid, vile, evil creature. "I'm sorry." Those words could never fix this. He knew that. Nothing could fix this.

She sat up, sliding her legs off the bed, and slowly walked to the bathroom. Adam looked horrible; pale. Broken. Reluctantly, she sat down beside him, wiping the tears from his cheeks. "What’s going on?"

Her fingers were soft against his cheek. He didn't deserve that. Didn't deserve her comfort. He didn't deserve anything. His body trembled. "I didn't mean to...I would never...I just...Oh God...I just..."

"You hurt me," she said softly. It was something she never thought she would say to him.

"I didn't mean...I just...I'm sorry...Oh God, how could I have..." His voice cracked, his body shaking harder still as he pulled his knees tighter against himself.

Biting her lip, she wrapped her arms around him, trying to comfort him. There was something wrong. Something more than what had just happened. She could feel it. "Adam, tell me."

Adam wouldn't let himself relax in her arms. He didn't have the right to. Not now. Not after this. "I'm sorry," he whispered over and over again.

There was nothing Aubrey could do and she knew it. She was hurt, scared and confused. No matter how much she wanted to run, to get away from him, she couldn’t. She loved him and she would sit on this floor all night and hold him if she had to. Something was horribly wrong and she needed to know what.

"Why?" he whispered, breaking the tense silence that had fallen over the room, "Why are you doing this? How can you stand to touch me?" His voice was flat, dull.

She swallowed hard and leaned her head against his, her mouth just at his ear. "Because I love you."

"You shouldn't."

"I always have." She closed her eyes. "Please don’t shut me out. Tell me what’s going on."

His mouth opened but the words refused to come. How could he tell her what he'd done? That's he'd betrayed her in the worst way possible? It would kill her. And he couldn't do that to her. Not now.

Adam wasn’t going to tell her, she knew it, and the fact that he was scared to tell her terrified her. There was something very wrong, something that changed his entire demeanor. Something that had completely changed him.

Things had to get better between the two of them. They had to. If they didn’t, Aubrey didn’t know what she would do. He was her world.

Pushing away every bit of fear, every ounce of uncertainty for the time being, she held Adam tighter against her, closing her eyes, hoping that whatever was plaguing him, plaguing them, would disappear if only for the night. Please, she begged silently. Please.

#afislash #Advey #The Devil Inside #co-written with havoksangel #cheating #AU #sparkinside writes #Adam Carson/OFC

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sparkinsidewrites · 4 years

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The Devil Inside - Chapter Five

Title: The Devil Inside

Chapter: 5/18

Character/Pairing: Davey Havok/Adam Carson; Adam Carson/OFC

Genre: Angst

Rating: Explicit

Authors Notes/Warnings: Nothing in this piece ever happened. I claim no ownership nor do I make any sort of profit from this, other than pride and a sense of amusement.

FIVE

Dropping his bag onto the desk before him, Adam sank into his chair. Had it not been so near the end of the semester, he'd have called in sick. But as it stood, end of term was two weeks away and he couldn't just abandon his students like that.

The fight he'd had with Aubrey the night before still weighed heavily in his mind. He'd been an asshole to her and she hadn't done a thing to him. All she'd wanted was a bit of his time. God, he was a selfish prick. Sighing, he dropped his head on the desk before him. He still had ten minutes before his students were due to arrive. Adam needed to pull himself together.

Slowly, one by one, the students arrived with their paintings and supplies in hand. Most were finished and some were going to put the final touches on their work during class. Everything seemed to be running smoothly, which Adam was grateful for. He wasn’t sure he could handle another major crisis. Roughly, the door to the art room swung open and Davey slowly sauntered into the room.

Adam occupied himself by wandering around from student to student, offering his advice and opinions. Several students, he noted proudly, had vastly improved since the start of term. "Your shading techniques come a long way, Jess," he pointed out, patting the young woman before him on the shoulder. Over the semester he’d seen her work truly bloom and he couldn’t have been prouder.

The creak of the classroom door snapped Adam's attention from Jess. His eyes widened slightly in shock and surprise, before narrowing icily. Excusing himself, Adam made his way towards Davey, "What are you doing here?" he all but hissed, his voice low. The last thing he wanted was to draw many more attention to them, though he could feel several pairs of eyes on his back.

Davey smiled and tilted his head to the side. "I came to see the paintings. Why else would I come?"

"Look then leave," Adam told him curtly, blatantly ignoring his question.

Davey shook his head. "You are so rude," he teased playfully.

"And you are an arrogant prick," Adam spat back, turning around and heading back towards the class. The sooner Davey left, the better.

Davey walked up behind Adam, smoothing his hand over his ass as he passed by to look at the drawings.

Narrowing his eyes, Adam glared at Davey, not bothering to hide his annoyance from the students. He blatantly ignored the shiver of pleasure that coursed through him. No, he didn't want that asshole touching him. He'd done more than enough damage to his life.

Davey smiled, genuinely pleased, as he took in the paintings surrounding him. "Wow, these are really good."

Various students mumbled their thanks before standing and making their way to Adam's desk. One by one, each student handed in their paintings to be graded and made their way out the door.

Davey stood against the wall with one foot cocked up on it, waiting patiently for each student to leave. His hair was draped over his shoulder and his hands were folded over his crotch loosely as he studied Adam with a smirk.

Adam sighed, taking the last student's painting and wishing him a good weekend. Davey was still in the room, he could feel him. "You've seen the paintings," Adam hissed, "you can leave now."

"Aww... but why? We can just talk. Aubrey was nice to talk to. She really is a sweetheart," Davey pointed out, walking over to him.

Bristling, Adam turned to face Davey, "I have nothing to say to you and I'd appreciate it if you left my fiance alone."

"It was just a friendly conversation," Davey said running a finger across Adam's jaw line. "Nothing more or less."

A shiver ran through Adam. Forcefully, he pulled away from Davey's finger. "Don't touch me."

Davey placed his hand at the small of Adam's back and pulled him closer. "You and I both know you want me to touch you." Their mouths were inches from each other and Davey stared up into Adam's eyes with lust burning in his own.

The heat of Davey's gaze burned Adam. He swallowed thickly. No, he didn't want this. He couldn't want this. "No," he protested, his voice softer than it had been. "Just go. Leave."

"Why?" He pressed his body against Adam's and wiggled his hips. "You want so much more than that."

"Stop it. I don't want this." Adam fought to suppress the moan that threatened to fall from his lips. The solid heat of Davey's body against his was maddening. No, he had to get him away. Forcefully, he shoved Davey back. "No. Get the fuck out of my classroom." With Davey no longer pressed against him, Adam could think clearly again.

Davey grinned and grabbed Adam, pinning him against the wall by the desk. "I don’t think you want that," he said kissing him and pressing hard against his erection.

Adam struggled against Davey's strong form. He had to get away, get Davey off of him. But Davey was so much stronger than he looked. The rough slam of Davey's hips against his erection pulled a moan from his lips and sent splotches of white throughout his vision.

Davey slid his hand down Adam's body and moved his hips back enough to cup him. "I want you. I've wanted you since I laid eyes on you," he panted, kissing him in between each word. Lightly he bit at Adam's lips.

Another moan fell from Adam's lips as he bucked into Davey's hand. Sparks of pleasure rippled through him. "Fuck," he hissed. This was wrong. Fuck this was wrong. But Adam's body didn't seem to care.

Davey smiled against his mouth. "That's what I thought." He rubbed over the bulge in Adam's pants with a little more force. "Let me fuck you."

Adam whimpered, his mind pleading for him to shove Davey away and run. He was stronger than Davey, he could do it easily. But his body refused to move, his hips arching violently into Davey's.

Davey pulled him from the wall and walked over to the desk, never breaking the rough, hungry kisses. "Tell me you want it."

"No," Adam whispered, defiantly, the back of his knees hitting the desk behind him.

Davey pushed him back against the desk, his fingers expertly unzipping Adam's jeans. "Yes you do," he said slipping a hand inside.

Adam whimpered again as Davey's fingers traced over the head of his erection before wrapping tightly around it. Davey kissed down Adam's jaw to his neck, biting just over the pulse. "Give in to me, Adam," he whispered against his ear.

Shaking his head, Adam whimpered again. The warmth of Davey's breath against his ear was maddening.

"Then tell me no," he challenged, stroking his cock now.

Adam bit his lip to keep from screaming out in pleasure. Davey's soft fingers felt divine against him. God, he was going to kill him. Squeezing eyes his shut tightly, Adam felt his hips bucking into Davey's hand. Pleasure coursed through him. He was close. So fucking close.

Davey could feel the tremble and pulled back, jerking Adam off the table and turning him. "You have lotion or something in your desk?" He pushed the hard line of his cock against Adam's ass as he spoke.

Adam shook his head, choking back the moan low in his throat. Fear mixed with the pleasure coursing through him. Oh God.

"Anything slick?" Davey bit at the back of Adam's neck as he spoke, easing the man's jeans down over his hips.

Shaking his head again, Adam moaned. Davey's fingers felt like fire against his heated skin. Lust pumped through him and he ground his hips against the desk.

Davey pulled back and unzipped his pants and slid them over his hips. He knew this was going to be a bit uncomfortable for Adam, but they both wanted it. He coated his fingers with saliva and circled one around his entrance.

Adam jumped at the contact, fear flooding through him. He couldn't do this. God he had to get away. "No. Please no," he begged.

Davey licked his ear. "If you didn’t want it, you wouldn’t be hard."

He pushed back against Davey, trying to force the man off of him. He couldn't do this. As much as he body screamed for it, his mind couldn't do this. "Please."

Davey moved his finger away, still stroking him. "But you want to come?" He asked.

A groan feel from Adam's lips, his hips bucking into Davey's hand.

Davey felt the way he reacted and knew that, despite his protests, he wanted to be fucked. Licking his fingers once again to get them ready, he placed his middle finger at Adam's hole and pushed in as he stroked his cock.

"Oh fuck," Adam hissed, the pain of the sudden violation mixing with the pleasure coursing through him as Davey continued to stroke him. He could feel Davey moving inside of him. Slowly stretching him.

Davey moved his finger slowly, not wanting to hurt him, but wanting him to feel it. He circled it inside him, having no trouble finding his prostate. "Feels good, doesn’t it?"Adam moaned as Davey's fingers brushed across something inside of him, white hot flashes of pleasure erupting through him. Davey removed his finger and then re entered this time with two, scissoring him to stretch him more.

Adam cringed, pain shooting through him once again. Only when Davey's fingers brushed against that spot inside of him did Adam relax again, a heady moan spilling from his lips and onto the wooden desk beneath his head.

"Still want me to stop?" Davey panted against his ear. Hissing in response, Adam bucked back against Davey's fingers. He smiled. "I didn’t think so. Tell me you want me to fuck you."Davey licked the shell of Adam's ear as he spoke, pressing against his prostate again. Slowly he slid in the third finger, stretching him as much as he needed to.

Adam moaned again, "N no," he managed to choke out. No matter how badly his body wanted this, Adam refused to say it. To admit it. Blinding pleasure rippled through him as Davey's fingers pressed against him again. "Oh God."

Davey smiled. Breaking him was going to be fun. "Tell me, Adam," he said twisting his fingers inside him. "‘I want you to fuck me, Davey.’ Scream it for me," he insisted as he pushed against his prostate.

Another moan erupted from Adam's throat. His entire body felt as if it were on fire. Shamelessly, he bucked against the desk, securing Davey's hand between him and the lacquered wood.

Davey removed his fingers, loosened the fastening of his jeans, tugging them down his hips, and spit into his hand to slick his cock. He held it in his hand for a few moments, rubbing himself back and forth over Adam's entrance. He stopped stroking Adam, not wanting him to come that way. "Tell me, baby."

Adam whimpered as Davey's hand released him. "No," he hissed defiantly.

"Why?" His voice just as hard and defiant.

Adam bucked back against Davey. "We both kn know you're going to fu fuck me. But I'll..I'll never give you the satisfaction of hearing me sa say I wa-want you to," he hissed back, his breathing harsh and labored.

Davey growled. "Fine." He nudged the head of his cock inside Adam, groaning.

Biting his lip, Adam's eyes squeezed shut as he felt Davey pushing inside of him. Pain radiated through his body.

Davey moved slowly, knowing he was the first that had ever been inside of Adam. He allowed his body to adjust before thrusting. "God, I won’t last with you so tight." His nails dug into Adam's hips. He felt so good.

"Fuck!" Adam hissed, feeling Davey slide all the way inside of him. Fuck. Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, Adam whimpered. It felt as though Davey was tearing him in half.

The thrusts were slow and gentle. Davey wanted to wait until Adam adjusted to give him the fuck he wanted. He bit the side of his neck to take his mind off the pain elsewhere.

Adam moaned as he felt Davey's teeth sink into his neck., the slight pain more pleasurable than it should have been. Another moan fell from his lips as Davey brushed against his prostate again. "Fuck," he breathed. His body slowly adjusted to Davey's girth and the slow, gentle pace he set, pleasure rippling through him.

Bowing his head and placing it against Adam's back, Davey quickened the pace. He wanted to fuck him, make him scream. More than anything he wanted Adam to scream his name. His nails dug into his sides even deeper and he started to moan. "Oh God,"

Moan after moan spilled from Adam's parted lips as Davey pounded into him. The pain of Davey's fingers digging into his hips coupled with the delirious pleasure each slam of his hips brought pushed Adam closer and closer to his release. His body shuddered in anticipation.

Davey reached around and stroked Adam as he picked up the pace of his thrusts. "Oh God, Adam, come for me."

The warmth and softness of Davey's fingers around him, stroking him coupled with the now constant stimulation against his prostate, sent Adam hurtling over the edge sobbing Davey's name despite himself.

Feeling Adam clench around him sent Davey spiraling head first into his own climax. He screamed out Adam's name, releasing inside of him. It felt so good. He panted harshly all the way through it, his eyes clenching shut, a million thoughts swimming through his mind. This was starting to feel different, all of it. He'd won. He'd fucked Adam, but it was different.

Adam whimpered as Davey's brutal thrusts slowed, his body coming down from its high, each breath he took, labored and harsh. His mind was fuzzy and his body heavy and warm.

Davey collapsed against Adam's back, his hands rubbing up and down his arms that braced him on the desk. He was still panting. As many man as he slept with, he'd never come like that.

The feel of Davey's solid weight against his back thrust Adam violently back into the present. Oh God, what had he done? What the fuck had he done?

Slowly, Davey pulled out, stumbling back a bit. His legs were like jello. He bent down to pull his pants up and fastened them.

Adam pushed himself from the desk with shaky arms, yanking his own boxers and pants back up. He refused to turn or even glance at Davey. "Get out," he bellowed.

Davey looked at him. "Adam?" He was surprised at the hurt coursing through him at Adam responding like this.

"Get out."

Davey stared at Adam and ran his hands through his hair. "Fine." He walked over, kissing him hard on the mouth. "You were just as good of a fuck as I thought you'd be," he whispered, harshly. If Adam was going to kick him out, he would have the upper hand.

Adam whimpered in surprise as Davey's lips smothered his own. Pulling back forcefully, he glared at the man standing before him. "Touch me again and I swear to god I'll kill you."

"You loved every minute of what we just did," Davey spat, defiance and arrogance shining in his eyes.

"You'd love to think that, wouldn't you?" Adam shot right back, his voice even and cool despite that fact the inside he was trembling.

"That was my name you screamed, not Aubrey's."

Adam's eyes narrowed, "A mistake I sure as hell won't make again."

Adam's words hurt Davey more than he cared to think on. Steeling himself he leaned in and licked Adam's ear. "When you fuck her, you'll think of me," he challenged.

"Keep telling yourself that," Adam hissed, grabbing his bag from behind the desk. "Now get the fuck out."

Davey looked up at him, for a moment his facade faltering and his actual hurt showing. "Fine," he hissed, hardening his expression again.

Silence fell over the room, neither man moving nor speaking for several minutes. "Weren't you leaving?" Adam snapped, his eyes finally raising to Davey's. Without a word or a comeback, Davey turned and left, slamming the door behind him.

A strangled sob fell from Adam's lips as he collapsed against the desk behind him, his bag falling to the floor. What had he done? Oh God, what the fuck had he done?

#afislash #Advey #The Devil Inside #co-written with havoksangel #cheating #AU #sparkinside writes #Adam Carson/OFC

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sparkinsidewrites · 4 years

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The Devil Inside - Chapter Four

Title: The Devil Inside

Chapter: 4/18

Character/Pairing: Davey Havok/Adam Carson; Adam Carson/OFC

Genre: Angst

Rating: Explicit

Authors Notes/Warnings: Nothing in this piece ever happened. I claim no ownership nor do I make any sort of profit from this, other than pride and a sense of amusement.

FOUR

Davey wandered carelessly around the local bookstore the following afternoon, trying to find anything he could to occupy his time. Finally deciding on a Karma Sutra, he headed towards the reading area towards the back of the small store.

He passed a few people in the aisles before coming to a clearing. A smile spread across his features as a familiar face appeared in the small crows. Aubrey. His smile widened all the more. What better way to play with Adam than by befriending his fiance. Davey wasn’t sure just why he wanted to play with Adam so badly--maybe it was the challenge he knew seducing him would bring--but he did. God he did.

Settling into one of the plush couches in the corner of the reading area, Aubrey pulled out the latest James Patterson book she’d found on the ‘New Releases’ shelf. It had been far too long since she'd taken the time to just sit, read, and forget about the rest of the world. Thankfully, she'd gotten off of work early today and had enough time to duck into the bookstore before returning home. Before having to confront Adam once again.

Aubrey sighed, when she'd returned from the restroom yesterday Adam had gone completely cold on her and it had only gotten worse once they'd returned home. For the second night in a row, he'd locked himself in his studio, refusing to open the door to speak with her. This was all honestly starting to scare her.

Davey slowly made his way towards Aubrey, watching as she sank deeper and deeper into the pages of the novel she was reading. "Boo," he whispered in her ear once he’d snuck up behind her.

Jumping nearly out of her seat entirely, Aubrey's eyes darted to the source of the voice. "Davey," she started uncertainly. Adam's reaction to the man before her made her wary of him. Something in his eyes unsettled her.

He chuckled. "I'm sorry. You were reading a scary book and I couldn’t resist."

Aubrey chuckled nervously, closing the book and settling it on her lap. "Not scary," she corrected, "Just intense."

"Well Kiss the Girls scared the hell out of me," he said as he took a seat next to her on the couch.

"Scared me, too. Patterson's got a way with words."

"That he does," Davey agreed with a smile, sitting his book on his lap in her view

Aubrey smiled softly at him, her eyes wandering curiously to the book in his lap. Red quickly spread across her face at the thoughts running through her mind.

A mutual friend of her's and Adam's had bought her and Adam a copy of the Karma Sutra for Christmas that past year as a gag gift. The pair had spent a good few hours flipping through the book and laughing nervously, feeling like two children about to get caught doing something naughty. "That's...um...interesting reading material you've got there."

He looked down at the book and then back up at her, smiling. "Research. I want to try something new, providing I have a rather flexible partner, of course."

"Well, um...That's probably the best place to...um...look," she finished lamely, knowing her face was near crimson.

"You’re about as red as rose, my dear," he teased playfully, touching her cheek with his fingers.

Aubrey’s cheeks darkened, "I'm sorry..It's just...I've never...You're just so open about things...It's just odd." her eyes widened, "I'm sorry that was terribly rude of me. I'm just not used to having someone be so forward about...that."

"Sex," Davey said, plainly.

"Yes and no," she answered, truthfully. She'd never blushed so much in her life. Oh God. what was she getting herself into?

"I feel its better to be open about certain things. Why be shy about something that feels so damn good?" Davey pointed out, shrugging.

"I guess you have a point...It's just that...I just...I'm sorry, I'm not making any sense."She laughed nervously. He must think I'm a fool.

"You have fucked before, right?" He figured that if she was blushing now, saying fucked instead of sex would really get her. "I mean, I don’t want to be rude, but..."

"I've had sex before yes. I'm not that backwards," she laughed nervously, "It's not...I've just never talked to anyone who's been that open about...two men...Not that I'm offended or anything...It's just...I'm sorry. I sound like some pathetic country bumpkin. Ignore me."

He leaned in close. "Two men aren’t that much different than a man and a woman," he whispered. "There are few differences, like prep, but the outcome is still the same."

Aubrey was bright red again, she knew it. "Well...Um..." she trailed off, unsure of what to say.

He laughed. "Can I buy you a cup of coffee?"

Aubrey stared at Davey blankly for a moment, before chuckling nervously, "Well that's the first time anyone's ever asked me for coffee like that," she joked. "I um...I guess, if you want."

"I figured I owed you after turning you into a beet," he said pushing himself to his feet and reaching for her hand to help her up.

Aubrey shook her head, allowing Davey to help her to her feet. "You're one of the most forward men I've ever met."

"I make life interesting," he said. "And at least you know I'm not hitting on you."

Another chuckle fell from her throat, "True. I'm not quite your type," she joked back.

"No," he said. "You are beautiful though. I can see why Adam is so smitten."

"Thank you," she answered, her cheeks reddening all the more, "I'm blessed to have him in my life. God's been good to me."

A smile spread across his face. "You are a religious woman, I take it?"

"Not psychotically, no. But yes, I have my faith."

He nodded as he listened, walking to the coffee bar. "Go to church?"

Aubrey smiled, "Every Sunday for as long as I can remember."

"Does Adam go?"

His words gave her a moments pause, the familiar disheartening feeling spreading through her once more. "Not often. He just...His family are strict Catholics...After 18 years of that...He just...I get where he’s coming from...And I...I don't want to push him."

"Ah," Davey said, understanding a bit now why Adam had reacted as strongly as he had. He walked up to the counter ordering two regular coffees. After he’d paid for them he held one out, handing it to her. "Here you go."

"Thank you," Aubrey murmured, taking the hot container from him and bringing it to her lips.

"You okay, Cherry?" he asked, teasing her about the blushing with the nickname.

"Cherry?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"I thought it was cute," he replied with a shrug.

Aubrey smiled, his meaning sinking in, "It is. And yeah...I'm fine...I just...I don't know."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Sighing softly, Aubrey brought the cup to her lips, taking a sip of the hot coffee, before smiling at the man by her side. "I just...I wish he would at least try to go, for me. I'm not asking him to go every single time...Just once. I mean...we're getting married in two months...I just...I'm sorry, you don't need to hear this."

Davey put his arm around her and walked her to a table to sit down. "If you need to vent, go ahead. It’s not like I am going to tell him," Davey told her. She was going to open up to him and give him everything he needed, he knew it. She was trusting to a fault.

Aubrey shook her head, holding up her hand in protest, "It's stupid really. Don't worry about it."

"You want him to be involved in your life. I understand."

"I just...I don't want to push him...I just want him there. I've always gone to his shows. Supported him. I love him...I just wish for once that he would support me." A heavy sigh fell from her lips, "It's selfish, I know. And that's wrong of me. I just...I'm sorry." He didn’t want or need to hear any of this.

"It’s not selfish. Its understandable," he told her, reaching across the table for her hand.

"It feels selfish, though," she answered honestly, letting Davey take her hand in his. "I don't know."

"If this was turned around and you wouldn’t go to his shows, how would he act?" Davey posed, raising his eyebrow slightly.

Sighing, Aubrey raised her eyes once more, "He'd be upset...His art means the world to him. If I couldn't accept how important it was I couldn't accept him. I know that. I understand it, I just...I don't know."

"Don’t you think you deserve the same respect?"

Another sigh, "Yes. I just...I get why he doesn't want to go and I don't want to push him. I just...I don't know."

"You aren’t very sure of anything are you?"He said with a soft chuckle.

Her eyes narrowed slightly, pulling her hand back from his, "I know I love him and I know I want this to work."

"Aubrey, I wasn’t saying anything against your relationship with Adam. I know you love him. I can see that. I just think you need to stand up for what you want more." He softened his expression and smiled warmly.

Aubrey offered him a guarded smile in return, "I overreacted. Forgive me."What had gotten into her?

"It’s fine. Really," he reassured her, looking down at his watch. "I should get going. Would you like my number in case you need to talk?"

"No, really, I'm fine. I should get going anyway. Adam should be home soon. It was nice bumping into you again."

He smiled standing up. "Likewise. Take care of yourself, Cherry," he told her, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

Aubrey watched him disappear around the corner before turning her attention back to the cup of coffee before her. There was something about Davey that unsettled her. Something about the way he acted, the things he said. Stop being paranoid, Bree, she cursed silently at herself, he’s not bad. He’s just trying to help. You’re as bad as Adam. With a sigh, she too pushed herself to her feet, grabbing her cup and making her way back to her car. There wasn't any use dwelling on his now.

Twenty minutes later Aubrey pulled into her driveway, smiling when she saw Adam's car there. Quickly she climbed out of the care and made her way to the kitchen door, stepping inside. "Adam?" she called, softly.

Adam had collapsed on the couch after he'd gotten home. He hadn’t slept much the night before and he felt completely drained. A sigh fell from his lips. He'd been awful to Aubrey, there was no excuse for it. She hadn't deserved his cold shoulder.

The soft jingle of keys and the telltale creak of the kitchen door caught his attention followed by her soft voice. "I'm in here," he called, softly. She wanted to talk to him. That was something. More than he deserved, really.

She made her way into the living room and jumped on him, smiling widely. He was talking to her. "Hi!"

A muffled groan fell from his lips. Rolling his eyes up to meet hers, Adam smiled in return, "Hey."

"I want you to come to church with me this Sunday." Her eyes were bright and hopeful.

Adam's expression clouded and he turned away from her slightly, "Aubrey, I...I don't know." The hope in her eyes served only to churn guilt in his stomach. How could he go to church now? After what he'd done. What he wanted to do? He was a walking abomination.

She sighed in frustration. "I go to all your art shows. Every single one. You are going to church with me." It wasn’t a request this time.

"Sweetie, please. You don't understand..."

Aubrey climbed off of him, standing beside the couch, anger flickering in her dark eyes. "You don’t understand! I do whatever you ask me to, I never question it! If you don’t start taking some kind of interest in my life, I am going to refuse to take interest in yours." She stared at him, unable to believe she'd said anything like that to him.

He stared, dumbfounded for a few moments before the guilt sank back in. "Aubrey," he began, sitting up in the couch, "I don't want to fight with you...I just...I want to be a part of your life...I just..." I'm a liar. I want him. I shouldn't but I want him. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

She stared at him. "You don’t give a damn about me, do you?"

"I do care, Aubrey. You have to know that. I just..." his voice trailed off, head falling into his hands. Well you're certainly making a wonderful mess of things aren't you, Carson?

She paused, eyes falling to the floor. "Davey said that if I wanted something from you I should ask. So I am asking." Her voice was quiet and soft. All she wanted was one thing. Just one. Why couldn’t he give it to her?

Adam's eyes shot up, panic racing through him. "Davey?"

"I saw him at the book store. We had coffee and talked."

"Talked about what? About me?" his voice rose with every word, emotion strangling his words. Dammit, Carson, pull yourself together! What the fuck is wrong with you?

"Some,” Aubrey told him truthfully, she wouldn’t lie to him, "But we talked about other things too. Books, interests. He's nice."

"He's manipulative," Adam whispered, raking his fingers through his hair, unable to meet her gaze. What the fuck was Davey trying to do to him?

"Just because you don’t like him doesn’t make him manipulative. He was kind to me, Adam. He listened to me. He understood."

"I just...Fine, I'll go. Okay? I just...I don't want to fight with you." His tone was far harsher than he'd intended. This isn't how it's supposed to be. Adam loved her, he wanted to be a part of her life. Why couldn't she just understand that he couldn't do this? Not now.

She glared at him. "You know what? Forget it! I don’t want you there. I can live my life separate from you and you can do the same for all I care. I would say meet me when you want to make love but that doesn’t seem interest you anymore either." Aubrey couldn’t believe the words that were falling from her lips. It’s not supposed to be this way.

Adam's eyes closed, his hands cradling his head. This was all so fucked up. And it was his fault. He shouldn't have give in to Davey. He was paying for that mistake now. "Please don't do this. I don't want to fight with you. I just..." Adam trailed off, pushing himself up from the couch, "I can't do this right now. I'm sorry."

Brushing past Aubrey, he made a beeline for the door. Once outside he pulled his crumpled pack of cigarettes from his back pocket. Empty. Fuck. Just perfect. With a sigh, he leaned back against the cool brick of the house. What was he going to do?

#afislash #Advey #The Devil Inside #co-written with havoksangel #cheating #AU #sparkinside writes #Adam Carson/OFC

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sparkinsidewrites · 4 years

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The Devil Inside - Chapter Three

Title: The Devil Inside

Chapter: 3/18

Character/Pairing: Davey Havok/Adam Carson; Adam Carson/OFC

Genre: Angst

Rating: Explicit

Authors Notes/Warnings: Nothing in this piece ever happened. I claim no ownership nor do I make any sort of profit from this, other than pride and a sense of amusement.

THREE

Adam’s throat burned and his head was spinning. Nothing made sense. He couldn't think, he couldn't move, he couldn't breathe. What had he done? What had he let Davey do? And he'd wanted it. WANTED it. This wasn't happening. No, not to him. It couldn't be. He refused to let it be. "It doesn't matter," he hissed, turning the key in the ignition and moving the car into gear. "It doesn't matter." He had to believe that.

Angrily, he switched on the radio, settling on the first station that grabbed his attention. Classic rock. The stuff he'd grown up loving. The kind of music his parents hated. It didn't matter now. Absently, he tapped his fingers along to the beat, losing himself in the song. He could do this. He could forget. It didn't matter. A kiss is just a kiss. He didn't provoke it. He didn't ask for it. It didn't matter. Davey was gone, out of his hair. Out of his life. It didn’t matter.

Signaling, he turned onto his street, his mind clearing as his eyes fell upon the small house he and Aubrey shared. It wasn't much, with his meager salary and her limited income they could barely afford to make ends meet. But this small house, with its tiny yard and blue shutters, was theirs and that was all that mattered. They'd chosen it, decorated it, made it their own. This was where he belonged. With Aubrey. That was all that mattered.

Aubrey stood in the kitchen washing breakfast dishes and preparing to mess up new ones for dinner. Adam would be home any minute and with any hope he was in a better mood than he was last night. She didn’t know if she could handle him otherwise.

The song faded out as he pulled into the driveway. Quickly shutting off the engine, Adam grabbed his bag from the backseat where he'd tossed it. Throwing it over his shoulder, he silently walked to the kitchen door. His latest sketch lay against the middle of the backseat, bent and torn. Forgotten. He didn't need it anymore.

Aubrey turned, hearing the telltale creak, and peaked around the kitchen door. "Hey."

A soft smile spread across Adam's face as he echoed her greeting. Dropping his bag on the kitchen table, he made his way behind her, arms snaking around her waist. "I'm sorry about yesterday," he murmured into her hair, placing a soft kiss to the back of her head.

She leaned back against him and smiled. "It’s okay. We all have our off days."

"I shouldn't have taken it out on you." He sighed, eyes closing. Aubrey always fit so perfectly in his arms. She felt warm. Familiar. Safe. She was home and he refused to trade this for the world.

She shut the water off and turned to face him, lightly kissing his mouth. "What do you want for dinner?"

A cheeky grin spread across his face. This is what he wanted. What he needed. "Food."

Lightly, she tapped him on the ass. "What kind?"

Another grin, "Good food.

"Adam Carson!"

"What? You asked, I answered. You never said I had to be serious." He loved teasing her. Goading her on. He loved the spark it brought to her eyes. Even the way she planted her hands on her hips and put on the most intimidating face she had which was far from intimidating warmed his heart. She was perfect. And she was his.

She put her hands on her hips and looked away. "That's it. You starve," she said.

Adam pouted, his blue eyes locking on her, lip trembling. This never failed to bring Aubrey around, a fact Adam learned on their first date and one he made sure never to forget.

She covered her eyes. "No, don’t do that. That's cheating."

"Nope, it's called creative thinking." He paused, locking his arms around her waist, pulling her against him for a deep kiss. Her lips were warm. soft. The melted perfectly with his own. The way they always had. Smirking, he pulled back. "THAT is cheating."

"Kissing is always a good form of cheating," she said with a smile. "You wanna go out to eat?"

Her words sent a shiver of dread through him. Violently, he shoved it down. No, he wouldn't think on it. It didn't happen. It never happened. Swallowing thickly, he let his fingers wander through her hair. "Sure, whatever you want."

She grinned widely. "I'll go get my coat."

Adam watched her disappear into the livingroom before shutting his eyes once again. Guilt seeped through him. Could she tell? Did she know what he'd let Davey do? No! No Carson! Stop it! Stop it right now! Dragging his fingers through his hair, Adam fought to control himself. This didn't matter. It never happened. He had Aubrey. He had all he needed. Nothing and no one was going to change that. He wouldn't let it. He couldn't.

Aubrey returned with her coat a few moments later and she and Adam headed into town to a small, family-owned Italian restaurant and pizzeria they’d stumbled across when they first began dating. It had been so long since they had gone out anywhere and she was more than happy to not be cooking. Quickly they took a seat in the corner booth and they waited for the waitress.

Finding himself glancing over the menu half heartedly, Adam shut his eyes, trying desperately to forget. Why couldn't he make it go away? Sighing, he reached for the wine and spirits card in the center of the table. He needed something to clear his mind, something to help him relax.

She looked at him. "Rough day?"

A sigh fell from his lips, "You could say that. Yeah." I cheated on you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I’m sorry. I'm sorry.

She lightly ran her hand down his cheek. "I'm sorry." The ding of the bell on the main door caught her attention, causing her to looked up. Her eyes studied the man standing in the doorway for a minute before turning back to Adam. The man was... pretty? Can a guy be pretty?

The slight haze of confusion in Aubrey's eyes caught Adam's attention almost immediately. "Babe, what is it?"

She looked past him again. "Is... is that a guy?"

Puzzled by her question, Adam turned in his seat, following Aubrey's gaze, his face paling slightly. No, please God no.

Davey leaned across the counter of the pizzeria and smiled flirtatiously at the chef behind the counter. "Come on, fix me one of your best vegan pizza's. I can only get it from here. Please." The man smiled, used to Davey’s antics. "You really are a pain in my ass."

"Oh you wish," Davey joked, turning his head to scan the place, his eyes locking on Adam's.

Adam froze, his eyes drawn to Davey's like a moth to a flame. This was wrong. He didn't need this. He shouldn’t want this. But he couldn't tear his eyes away. Davey grinned and waved.

Aubrey looked at Adam. "Do you know him, honey?"

Panic raced through him. "Um..ah...He's...He modeled for one of my classes..." Adam finished lamely. So much for cool and collected, Carson. You fucking idiot.

Davey smirked and slowly walked over to their table. "Adam, long time no see," he said with a smile.

Adam nodded in reply, not trusting himself to speak. Leave. Please just leave. His eyes cut to Aubrey's, begging her to understand. To say something to get him to leave. Anything

Davey turned to her. "You must be his better half," Davey said extending his hand to her.

Hesitantly, Aubrey extended her hand, sensing Adam's discomfort. Something wasn't right. "Aubrey. And you are?" Her tone was merely curious, her eyes darting back and forth between Davey and Adam. Something definitely wasn't right.

"Davey. It’s a pleasure to meet you. He talked about you all the time after class." He shook her hand and smiled before letting go and turning to Adam. "Thank you for everything these past two days. It was a pleasure to model for you and your class."

Adam nodded, wanting nothing more than to run as fast and as far away as he could. Swallowing thickly, he fought to find his voice, "You're welcome."

"You have to let me come and see them when they are ready to be shown off," Davey insisted.

"That um..That will be up to them really...I could ask if they're up to it next class." Running his fingers through his hair, Adam smiled weakly at Davey before returning his attention to Aubrey. Make him go away...Please.

Aubrey turned to Adam then Davey. "Would you like to sit and tell me about it. Adam doesn’t really let me in on much in the classroom."

Biting back a groan, Adam raised his eyes, locking on Aubrey's. Please no.

Davey smiled. "Sure, but I can’t stay. I have a date." He sat down next to her and put his arm on the back of the booth behind her and looked at Adam, smiling.

"If you have a date, you probably shouldn't keep them waiting," Adam pointed out curtly. He ignored the confused stare Aubrey cast in his direction. Why wouldn't he leave?

"He's not coming for another hour. I have about fifteen minutes I can stay and chat," Davey pointed out, emphasizing the word ‘he’. Yes, this was really too much fun.

Aubrey's eyes widened for a moment, her gaze cutting to Adam then quickly returning to the man beside her. "He?"

Davey smiled. "Yes."

"Oh. I didn't think that...Well, that doesn't really matter now, does it?" she paused, smiling at Davey softly, feeling rather foolish for her reaction. "So, you modeled for Adam's class. How was it?"

"It was fun. I've never been able to do something like that. Adam made me feel very comfortable," Davey said, looking directly at her, smiling.

She smiled, eyes drifting towards Adam, "He's a great guy. I think I'll keep him." Though I don't know why he's being such an ass.

"You drew me as well, right, Adam? How did that turn out?" He asked turning to look at him.

Adam froze, eyes wide. Why did he have to bring that up? He could feel Aubrey's eyes on him as well but he couldn't bring himself to meet her gaze. "Alright...Nothing to write home about," he finished, laughing nervously. He wanted to die.

Aubrey looked at Adam. Why was he so nervous? She reached across the table and took his hand, innocently.

Davey smiled. "I'd like to see it, if you wouldn’t mind."

Jumping slightly at her touch, Adam smiled softly at Aubrey, before squeezing her hand in return. Aubrey's brow narrowed in confusion. Her eyes had a thousand questions. He never jumped when she touched him. Adam could sense her confusion and her uncertainty, his own eyes conveying his guilt. I'm sorry. "I um...I don't have my book with me right now...I don't even know if I kept the sketch to be honest."

Aubrey looked away, smiling at Davey. "I need to use the rest room. Do you mind moving?"

Davey shook his head, standing. Aubrey slid out of the booth and made her way to the bathroom.

Adam watched her retreating form, guilt coursing through him. Steeling himself, he turned to face the man across from him. "What do you think you’re doing?"

Davey smirked. "I am making friendly conversation with your lovely fiance. She's quite beautiful. I can see why you’re with her."

"I love her," Adam snapped, suddenly feeling as though he had to defend both himself and his relationship. Davey had him on edge. He hated it..

"I never said you didn’t," Davey replied with an arrogant coolness.

Adam shrunk back slightly, his eyes still dark. No, he refused to let Davey intimidate him. "The drawing," he started once more, "You've seen it. Why bring it up?"

"Because it wasn’t quite finished. And besides, you got my mouth wrong and I figured you could correct it now," he said amused.

"What are you getting at?"

"I do believe it was your mouth on mine earlier. Am I right?" He locked eyes with Adam and leaned across the table a bit. "And you loved it."

"You don't know the first thing about me. Or about how I feel," Adam whispered, glaring. Why wouldn’t he just leave? Why couldn’t he understand?

"I know you were hard yesterday and I bet you’re hard right now just thinking about the my lips felt against yours," he said, his eyes darkening.

"You're an arrogant bastard, do you know that?" Adam snapped, his eyes narrowing all the more. "Don't flatter yourself. That meant nothing to me."

Davey leaned more across the table. "I don’t have to mean anything for you to want to fuck me and you do," he said, his breath hot on Adam's ear as he whispered, "I know you do."

Adam's eyes darkened, suppressing his body's urge to shudder as Davey's hot breath glided across his ear, "I don't want you. Not now. Not ever."

Davey looked to make sure no one was looking and licked the shell of Adam's ear. "Bullshit," he hissed.

Shivering involuntarily, Adam pulled back, his eyes stormy and hard, "Shouldn't you be meeting your date, David? Wouldn't want to keep the man waiting." His voice was cold, detached, cruel even.

Davey pulled back and grinned. He knew he had Adam, it was just a matter of getting him to give in. "I should. He's just not as much fun to play with."

"Don't push me, David."

Davey slid out of the booth and smiled down at him. "You know where you can find me and I will be in sometime next week to see how the portraits turn out. Enjoy your date. Fuck her... you need to relieve some stress."

"You arrogant bastard," Adam hissed, glaring at up Davey, "Why don't you just go and fuck your little date? You certainly play the part of whore so well."

Davey leaned against the table and licked his lips before taking the lip ring into his mouth for a minute. He smirked as he released it. "You ain’t seen nothin' yet, Sweetheart."

Annoyance flooding through him, Adam snapped his attention back to the wine menu laying before him on the table. If he just ignored Davey, maybe he would disappear.

Davey slid his hand down Adam's chest and over his stomach to the bulge in his pants. He smiled when he realized he was right. "Have a good night, Adam." He removed his hand and walked to the front desk to get his pizza before leaving.

A yelp of surprise fell from Adam's lips as Davey's strong hand cupped him, sending shivers of pleasure coursing through his body. Oh God.

His heart pounded, the blood rushing in his ears. No, his mind screamed. He didn't want this. He couldn't want this. Slamming his eyes shut, Adam forced himself to think of something, anything other than the warmth of Davey's lips against his. The feel of his hand and just how badly he wanted this.

Davey smiled as he passed by Aubrey as she made her way back towards the table, "Adam seems a bit tense. Give him a massage or something," he said playfully as he headed to the door.

Aubrey's brows knitted in confusion as she watched Davey wander from the restaurant, pizza box in hand. Shaking herself from her thoughts, she made her way back to the table.

Blankly, Adam stared at the menu before him. Every nerve in his body was on fire and, try as he might, he couldn't make it stop.

"Adam, what's going on?" she asked, softly, sensing his unease immediately. What happened? Please talk to me.

"Nothing," he all but snapped. He was uneasy, unsettled, and he hated Davey for making him that way. Composing himself, Adam sighed. It wasn't her fault. "I'm sorry, Bree. I just...I don't like him." He sighed, "And really, I just...I don't want to talk about it."

"Is it because he's gay? I never knew you were homophobic," she whispered. Adam was raised in a strict Catholic home and Aubrey knew how conservative his mother could be. But this was something she’d never figured Adam for.

Adam shook his head, "No, that doesn't matter. It's just...He rubs me the wrong way. I don't like his attitude."

"Maybe he has a crush on you or something," she teased, wanting to see him smile again. Anything but that troubled frown.

"Can we please just not talk about this now?"

Trying to relax him, she slid her foot out of her shoe and between his thighs, rubbing over him. "What do you want to talk about?" She asked with a smirk on her face.

He jumped slightly, the touch startling him. While the feel of her foot pressed intimately against him felt divine, his mind was far too clouded with thought, guilt and confusion to process it. "Not now, Bree, please. I just...Can't we just have a nice, quiet dinner?"

She looked down and moved her foot. "Sure," she answered quietly. She swallowed hard and pushed back tears. He never rejected her and this was the second time in two days.

Adam's eyes rose to Aubrey's, another wave of guilt washing over him. He was hurting her, acting this way, he knew he was. And he hated himself for it. Hated the confusion and the guilt that ate away at him.

She didn't deserve any of this. She wasn't the one pushing him. Tempting him. Manipulating him. This wasn't her fault. "I'm sorry," he whispered, knowing his words wouldn't fix this. He'd hurt the woman he loved, how could he hope to fix that?

"Adam... if you don’t want me anymore..." She couldn’t bear to look up at him. She loved him and if he wanted out, it would break her heart. Though she would rather know, she couldn’t look at him when he told her.

"What?" he whispered, eyes wide and full of confusion. "I never said...Why would you think that..."

"You've refused me two days in a row," she said quietly. "You never do that."

Hands shaking, Adam ran his fingers through his hair, his eyes never leaving Aubrey. "I just...I've got a lot on my mind...I love you, you know that. I need you in my life. I just...I'm sorry," he finished softly. He'd never hated himself more. She doubted him. Aubrey doubted him. And it was his fault. He'd given her a reason to doubt his love, his devotion. He'd let Davey win.

#afislash #The Devil Inside #Advey #co-written with havoksangel #cheating #AU #sparkinside writes #Adam Carson/OFC

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