#it doesnt need to be perfect it just needs to be done etc

[hakaiart]

f to my parasite mu dreams </3 i thought i may as well finish this right now since otherwise id never post it

[doctorwhoisadhd]

there's a certain quality the harmonies of like... early to mid 2000s alt rock has. which i am obsessed with... like i wanna do that. i NEED to figure out how to write harmonies that sound like that

[b0mblover]

Hate, in Every Sense of the Word.

By: J

major tws for; suicide mention, domestic abuse, abuse, sexual assult mention, murder mention, (really just alot of violence tbh) self harm mention

uh, sorry? that theres so many tws, ig also minor tw for mention of sex too.

uh haha i uh, can you tell what happened tonight? it wasnt even the worst one, just, im tired of it.

talk abt living out of spite bc mannnn, thats all i been going off of for a good while now!

i uh, i really wanna make a certain food bc um. (LOOK I WANNA MAKW A LESS OILY FUCKER OKAY) but my father is awake meaning my mother will be too soon but im scared to even go out of my room bc theyre prob gonna fighttt.

hhhrbd okok ill shut up for now, go ahead and read the angry jirou bullshit ig 😭

(oh yea, if it wasn’t obvious. im talking about my mother in this.)

——————————

yknow,

you havent been a great person

or a good one even.

yet you still question as to why i dont love you

or like you,

maybe you have an idea of how much i hate you.

maybe not

i dont really care about your feelings.

at all.

not now.

i put up with this for fucking 14 years.

my entire fucking life.

ive put up with your shit.

but now?

now im done.

you have no idea how badly you fucked up.

when he said that “im sorry im a fuck up” 

yknow.

he mightve not been right for what he did.

but,

it was just a mistake.

it was a goddamn mistake.

you have any idea how many times ive uttered those words too?

how many times ive repeated them?

how many times i fucking meant it?

just because you “had it bad” doesnt mean shit to me.

you have no goddamn right to treat others the same way.

dont give me that “i dont know how else to act!”

bullshit.

bullshit you dont.

you treated your damn boyfriend just fine!

you had a goddamn kid

you had two goddamn children.

with this man that you fucking DESPISE.

you knew it back then too.

you told me you did.

you fucking told me.

almost nothing can compare to the anger i feel to you right now.

nothing.

you have no right to act like that.

no.

you have no goddamn right to hit another fucking living being.

for such a simple mistake.

i dont care if he talked about it since friday.

i dont give a fuck if he talked about it for months.

you.

you as a goddamn human.

have no right.

none.

in the slighest.

to hit another living being.

for talking about something in your eyes “too much”

or making a mistake.

youre a hypocrite.

need i remind you?

you said that after you broke up with the man you were having an affair with.

that youd be a better person.

stop the fights.

stop the beatings.

stop all of it.

and everything would be okay!

.

i didn’t believe you for a goddamn millisecond.

youre a liar.

just how you said i was.

you didnt quit.

you didnt stop.

hell two months after you hit him again!

you threatened to kill him and yourself!

cmon.

dont you get it yet?

i fucking despise you.

maybe to a degree i feel shocked.

but.

i really dont think thats it.

youre the root of my problems.

every single last fucking one.

——————

need i remind you as how i had to learn to cook, because you were too busy with your damn boyfriend to help me?

.

need i remind you how when i tried to show you that i was fucking cutting myself when i was 9 you only talked about how it looked ugly?

.

need i remind you about how many times you said that you didnt care if i hurt myself as long as no one can see it?

.

need i remind you about how you ignored the rope burn on my neck god knows how many times?

.

need i remind you how you denied fucking multiple peoples sexual assault because “it couldntve been like that”?

.

need i remind you of how many times i almost had to be hospitalized because of your neglect?

.

need i remind you of how many nights i spent alone, in the cold, in the dead of winter, just because you wanted to fuck your boyfriend?

.

need i remind you of what you yelled at me so many times?

.

need i remind you of what i seen?

.

need i remind you of how many times you blamed your abusive behaviors on medication?

.

need i fucking remind you of my entire purpose?

.

i dont care about your feelings anymore.

i gave up years ago.

but now.

i dont feel just numb for you.

i hate you.

in every sense of the word.

.

i dont care of what you or anyone else thinks of me.

.

i dont care about what you think of my appearance.

.

i dont care if you think im too thin or fat or whatever word youll use next.

.

i dont care about what you think because you’ll hate me no matter what.

.

you thought id stop being xxxx when you broke up with him.

you yelled at me.

no.

you fucking screamed at me for weeks.

im tired of even putting in the slighest effort of acting as if i fucking care.

i dont give a fuck about you.

and yknow?

if.

no.

if it would work.

if it was possible.

id fucking kill you.

id stab you.

right here.

right now.

to end my suffering.

to end his suffering.

all of it.

id end it all.

i dont care if its wrong.

because i know no one else knows about whats going on.

yknow.

only one person around here knows what youve done to him and me.

and i havent even met her in person.

yknow.

the people i used to be close with from school.

only just learned you had an affair.

i know that.

the police are do-less.

since you know them.

and hes a man.

not a woman.

it wouldnt be taken seriously.

that he should just fight back.

yknow.

youve ruined what life he has left.

his parents beat him.

his ex wife beat him, and cheated on him.

and here.

youve done the exact same thing.

yknow.

he’ll never get to see how love truely is.

because of you.

because of what youve done.

i cant say i really like him either.

but.

that doesnt give you the right to ruin his life.

.

yknow whats worse?

how i know the only reason that so far youve never dared to lay a finger on me.

is because ive proved that i won’t hesitate to beat the fuck out of you right back.

i know i joke about that night.

but.

really.

hitting you for doing that was the best decision i couldve made.

its kept me safer than i wouldve been for years. 

and even now.

if you were to as so much to touch me.

while in a fight.

id do it all over again.

you maybe 100 pounds heavier than me.

but you dont know how to fight against someone who wont just sit there and take it.

i wont forgive you for what youve done.

even if he will.

.

i want nothing to do with you.

get out of my life for good.

[duskerot]

just sprayed all my parts with sealant so ill be able to start painting tomorrow !!! never done it before so im hoping it works alright 😵‍💫

[zeldasnotes]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS 28 🐚

masterlist

Someone whos into men and have Mars Square/Opposite Juno(3) might attract the complete opposite of what they are attracted to. For example someone with Scorpio Mars Square Leo Juno wants a confident, open and funny partner, but they only attract the mysterious , sneaky, obsessive kind of men. Or vice versa.

People with Lilith 3rd house 🤝 having issues with their car.

Venus Square Juno(3) 🤝 Molding their partner into what they want them to be

Ceres(1) conjunct Mars 🤝 Working out as a form of selfcare

Please check the North Node aspects in the composite chart. It can show what kind of relationship it will be.

The annoying part of 10th house placements is attracting attention from people you dont even know exist.

If you have Eros(433) Conjunct Moon synastry just know you will both remember it forever and you know what I mean by it.

Use your transits to get stuff done. I swear I never clean & exercise like I clean and exercise when Sun or Venus are transiting my 6th house.

Women with Lilith Square Moon struggle with the Madonna/Whore complex. They also feel a deeprooted need to be a part of society, have a family and be the kind of woman whos accepted. But at the same time they feel a strong need to rebel against those same things.

Moon conjunct/square/opposite Pluto needs to practice letting go. They be the ones to check a certain persons instagram everyday almost like a routine. Especially when it comes to people they dislike. An obsession with powerstruggles. Especially when the enemy is a woman.

Ive noticed that people with pluto retrogade are less obsessive.

Pisces Suns always have something innocent & youthful about their looks.

People Venus Square Ascendant in their own chart usually get into conflict with people who also have Venus Square Ascendant.

People with Jupiter conjunct personal planets can come across as arrogant even tho they are usually super friendly once you talk to them.

People with Venus Square Saturn care a lot about stability when chosing a partner. They can be very turned off by lazy people.

People with 8th house and 2nd house placements attract the most envy. If you have planets in these houses and you have social media just know that you got a lot of people watching you. I know of someone with placements there and she posted a video of herself eating at a restaurant she works at during her break. Someone called the restaurant and tried to have her fired saying shes high in the video etc(ofc she wasnt).

Mars & Moon in the 2nd house can be a real envy aspect in synastry. From what Ive seen the planet person is envious of the house person.

Sooo many people where the parents are from two different countries/cultures/religions got Sag Rising.

8th house actors are good at playing painful roles. For example Cate Blanchett.

Sag Moons wont do it if you tell them they have to.

Something Ive noticed, wont be true for everyone tho: The difference between Neptunian Venuses (Venus aspecting Neptune/Pisces Venus) and Saturnian Venuses (Saturn aspecting Venus/Capricorn Venus) is that saturnian Venus expects the same perfection from themselves as they expect from a partner while Neptunian Venuses be expecting to marry Beyonce while looking like Shrek.

Neptunian Venuses dream too much and have unrealistic and high standards. Saturnian Venuses have high standards but they are realistic. They dont want a fairytail princess bc they know it doesnt exist, they want someone who looks good on paper and they usually look good on paper themselves.

Saturnian Venuses can also be satisfied with someone who hasnt made it yet as long as they know the person is ambitious and will make it in the end, while neptune energy wants to be saved by someone who already made it.

Mars conjunct Midheaven be having a lot of public beefs. Or might be known for being a winner or ruthless. Beyonce for example got Mars in the 10th house and everyone who messed with her and Jay Z just magically disappeared from the spotlight.

© 2023 Zeldas Notes

[ganondoodle]

still thinking about how even just the decision to basically act like the shiekah tech never existed is just ... so baffling to me

bc again you could have done all the sonau tech does with shiekah instead, and they were perfect to be explored more in a sequel, why wouldnt you grasp that potential, the literal building blocks for more??

if you are that tired of shiekah tech .. dont make it a fuckign sequel to the game prominently featuring it???? totk doesnt take place generations after botw in which things could have changed drastically, its just a few years afterwards??

you want to reuse the map and get rid of shiekah tech? ok fine take LINK into the past then and the focus is for you to find a way to return; do some neat twist where its revealed that link was the one who sealed gan bc he couldnt defeat him without zelda or something if you dare (they wouldnt)

want less work than that and still reuse the map and get rid of shiekah tech AND reuse characters? ok then make it some alternate universe thingy like majoras mask in which everythign is the same but also isnt, its weird and creepy how characters you thoguht you knew suddendly dont act like themselves, shiekah tech doesnt exist, malice is now miasma, etc, it would give reason to why you feel so much like something about this world is familiar yet also very wrong

as far as im aware every "sequel" we have had so far were either generations apart from the first one, some alternate universe or a different location altogether- in all of which its plausible that things are different, things seem weirdly familiar but also wrong, or that another continent just works different from hyrule

but totk does none of that, its supposedly just a few years after the first game, same world same character, but its BUILT like some strange jumbled mess of stuff from botw and new stuff out of nowhere that just .. doesnt fit, but feeling a strange sense of otherness, a déja vu of something you know but it acts off, like an imposter, thats NOT intentional and it shows, its a mess of botw stuff, from stuff that people missed from the old games and entirely new stuff; i dont doubt it CAN work but the way it turned out is like a mix of 3 different puzzles forced together and being told 'see it fits!' even tho you can clearly see the pieces dont look right in these places

again it feels like a sequel that desperately wants you to forget the first game happened, that anythign from it mattered at all

and that isnt really ... the sense of a sequel? why insist on it being one when it only creates problems? is it marketing?? just like it was marketing to call age of calamity a telling of what happened before botw but then it wasnt that at all and that is still the sole reason why i dislike it? bc i was lied to? totk is like 10000 times worse than that, its a main title and doesnt even have the excuse of yeah its basically an excuse to play all your fav characters in fun ways and the game beign well aware that being its main appeal; what is totk appeal? a toybox with botw aestethic and none of the flavor?

(on a sidenote; the sonau tech doesnt even .. matter? in botw at least calamity ganon was made of shiekah tech parts and him overtaking other tech is a big point, the sonau tech doesnt serve anything but .. idk minerus useless mech? gan doesnt even aknowledge it, he doesnt care, all it is is toys for the player, not link, but the player. the monsters mining the tech materials? what for? gan doesnt give a damn and they dont work for the yiga either??)

i said it before but it gives me the feeling that the way botw invited you to theorize, to look beneath the surface, the way it intrigued you and laid the groundwork for so many interesting things without denying anything.. was accidental? or perhaps put in the game without the directors noticing? i cant stop thinking about them saying sth like "after botw zelda wondered if the kingdom of hyrule needed to keep existing the way it had been before the calamity, but then totk happens" bc it just feels like they realized too late that botw naturally led into questioning the status quo and they scrambled to fit it back into a flat and boring road we have seen so many times before (or even worse really) with totk

zeldas character naturally leads into her questioning and reexamine their history and set of rules? we gotta teach her a lesson of why she is importante god given monarchy girl that has to keep it bc what if evil brown man shows up again for no reason

maybe im grasping at straws here but looking at it this way the sonau .. make more "sense"; the shiekah were a group that was under the rule of the royal family, and misstreated before (oh no look soemthing interesting) so they dont lend themselves well to be used for teaching zelda that lesson- the sonau however are tailored really to be just that; they are a supposedly godly race from the literal sky that founded this version of hyrule, that had tech even more advanced and better than the shiekah, she gets put in the past to meet the perfect god king of goodness personally, also his very fridgy wifey that zelda later replaces in a way, shes put there and treated like family and then gets to see just how evil that evil big man from the desert is, sonia is falcon-punched to death solely so zelda can feel obligated to take over her role, have her new, better 'family' hurt by gan; similarly so raurus sacrifice, look what a noble and good king he is, he payed the ultimate price to lock that evil man away, now zelda you cannot let their sacrifice go to waste, rebuild that divinely good kingdom like it was!!

and even though they go so much out of their way to put the cart back onto the rails of black and white-good and evil in an even flatter way than the old games, it still doesnt feel right, at least to me, it still feels like zelda shouldnt have gone along with all of that, it feels like even her character from botw was walked back entirely, except for the intro, it made her feel like a stranger to me-

because this is a sequel, i know this zelda, she wouldnt act like that after all that shes been through, this feels ... off

and it all just insulting to anyone who cared about botw more than surface level, or the zelda lore in general, i dont even care much about the timeline, but theres alot of lore and themes beyond it that felt ignored, especially so given that .. its a damn sequel, non AU, not generations apart, directly part 2-

but its not.

it even feels very "corporate", put zelda in a dress again, people liked that, put crazy abilities in the game to flashbang people with how insane it is even if its not the best for the gameplay or the story, put a new asthetic into it out of nowhere bc its 'new' and act like its been there the whole time, put gan in there bc people miss him and find him sexy even if his role is just as flat as that of an evil cloud monster-

*sigh*

you know, i saw a post that said aoc was like a bad fanfic (affectionate) and totk was like a bad fanfic (derogatory) and tbh thats like one of the best comparisons/summaries i have seen ..

[roe-and-memory]

i really love thinking about the potential of lightnings childhood. we have no idea what happened, but its up for interpretation, and i think thats great.

neglect - a common headcanon - seems to make so much sense for him. he hates help, he hates being told what to do, but also hes so lonely and in such desperate need of approval and validation that he’ll take the harshest words as long as theyre coming from someone who, at the end of the day, will give him at least one pat on the back for doing something right.

i think this, as we all know, is a major part of his character, but the idea of doc, taking this kid thats been so awfully treated his entire life - who isnt used to affection or any kind of positive attention, who hates being bossed around because he thinks he knows better and can be trusted more than other people would - and essentially finding a midway point so he can be lightnings crew chief in a way that both introduces the idea of gentle help (telling him when to pit, etc etc) and doesnt infringe on lightnings fear? hatred? of being told what to do and how to do it? its perfect. it introduces to this kid with severe abandonment issues the idea of sometimes needing or even just wanting help, and helps him change for the better without forcing him to immediately conform to the idea that oh, he HAS to need help.

lightnings previous crew chiefs are so much different than doc, because while doc takes the time to get to know lightning, to discuss ways they can work together to get around these issues he has while also being able to enforce proper rules within the sport, his crew chiefs before never did this. they didnt get to know him personally, they didnt care. they just knew he didnt listen and had a flaring temper, and it was never really that fair to lightning that they didnt give him a chance. obviously, not all blame is on them, because as much as they didnt put the effort in to find a groove that worked for their driver, he also didnt try to put this effort in (although, really, as an 18 year old with issues surrounding this job that are KNOWN it was never really his job to be the one to initiate finding a solution - hell, he probably didnt even know what the issue was.), he was ALSO the one to fire these people, so they’re both at fault for this in a way.

but, again, i love thinking about this whole childhood thing because not only is doc opening up the help that lightning was always consistently refused to the point he believed he just didnt need it - that all those times he wanted help when he was young was really just him being dramatic - but hes also opening up the option for Family that lightning never had either. doc takes all the awful morals that lightning taught himself (or that harv taught him) because he had no one to teach him the true ones, and flips them around. he becomes the father lightning never had and the guidance that no one had ever given him. god i love found family guys theyre literally father and son

also nobody imagine how silly the first time doc ever ruffles his silly ass sons hair is. lightning freezing because oh, no ones ever done that before, and doc being like ? how badly do i need to kick the shit out of your parents? that is like the most average father appreciation Ever wdym ur dad didnt do that to you at least Once.

[vhagarlovebot]

Hi!! I was wondering if you could write something for aegon along the lines of aemond and reader are married but bc aemond wants to give her space and “spare” her of his company and doesnt wanna scare her bc of his appearance and demeanor they dont talk at all and theyre like strangers, sort of like aemond thinks he’s doing the right thing by leaving her be but in reality she just wants to be loved by her husband and one day aegon finds her sobbing about aemond bc she just wants to be loved by him. Bc shes crying abt his “perfect” brother he feels better abt himself bc hes thinking “my brother isnt the perfect son” and so he decides to befriend her and they kind of bond over the fact that theyre both really lonely in kings landing. Ik this is probably rlly off for his character tbh so if you dont want to do it thats okay! Ik some ppl r really iffy abt writing abt aegon so if thats the case just ignore the ask im sorry to bother! But I love ur writing sm and hope u have a great day~

gwen’s note: i need to say this before writing your req because it is important to me. but i really think aegon, as well as many other characters from hotd, is very complex. however we can’t overlook the awful things he’s done, that’s why i think that the only way of writing him is by trying to understand from where it comes, why he is the way he is, etc. (but not defend him, never defend him for being a rapist) and diverge from his character. hotd writers made it really hard to sympathize with him given that the first scene they gave us of older aegon was THAT scene. and again, i would never defend aegon from what he did, that is inexcusable, it does not matter how much he suffered or how alone he feels, he should have never done that. that is why if i write aegon i would always try to get as close as possible to what i think of this complex character (just as i have been doing with aemond) and always have his feelings and experiences in mind, i will never minimize what he and everyone has been through. and bc in fanfic you can write whatever you want, i’ve been saying that since the beginning. aegon is not a good person but i believe that if they give him a chance, he would definitely try to be better. and i fully believe that aegon has a heart and deep down he cares, we see glimpses of that in the show. so after saying that, if i diverge from what the show has showed us about aegon or what YOU think about him, remember that everyone has their own opinions and if you don’t like them, be respectful and simply block me (this is not directed at you but to everyone in general). hope you enjoy! <3

crying in public was not a good idea, but being under the weirwood tree made you miss home.

“do you feel well?” a man’s voice startles you, and you are quick to wipe the tears still falling from your eyes, trying to pull yourself together before turning around.

you are surprised to see prince aegon standing a few feet away from you, genuine concern on his face.

you want very hard to say yes but you can’t say the words, so you just simply shake your head as more tears start falling from your eyes.

aegon doesn’t know what to do. he never knows what to do when someone cries in front of him, he’s not used to this kind of behavior. he can’t remember a time when someone from his family cried in front of him and he comforted them. or if they comforted him. because that never happened. so he doesn’t know if he should keep walking and leave you alone, or ask what’s happening. however, his legs are moving towards you before he can make a decision.

and you don’t know what to do. should you excuse yourself and run out of there? but your legs don’t move and your eyes can’t leave his face, lilac gaze studying your body, but not in a creepy and sexual way. it’s also the first time you and the prince are alone and you thought when that happened, you would feel uncomfortable, rumors fly fast inside and outside the red keep and prince aegon is the main protagonist in all of them. however you feel strangely calm.

“does this have to do with my brother?” aegon dares to ask. he knows your marriage is not an easy one, mostly because aemond is very cold towards you. he has seen you alone together just a couple of times and in all of them you’ve been looking sad and uncomfortable while his younger brother showed nothing with his expression.

it is sad to know prince aegon knows why you’re sad. does everyone in the red keep notice how unhappy you truly are?

aegon sits beside you, his hands on his lap as you move away making space for him on the little bench.

“i just feel so… alone.” you let your guard down, after all he is the one asking and you so desperately need someone to talk to, anyone, and if that person turns out to be the prince, then so be it.

aegon laughs bitterly, looking to his feet playing with a few leaves that had fallen from the tree. he knows that feeling too well, he has been feeling alone his whole life.

“and— and i can’t say anything to him because he doesn’t listen to me. it’s like i’m talking to a wall.” you sob, wiping your nose with the back of your hand.

prince aemond is your husband. but he’s also a total stranger too. you barely talk, he almost never looks at you and you haven’t consummate your marriage, something everyone is expecting for you to do. but how are you supposed to do it when he openly shows how much you bother him?

“i’m a burden to him!” you hide behind your palms, tears still falling from your eyes.

aegon feels a little better to know that his brother is stuck in a loveless marriage just like him. they might be very different but neither of them were able to escape from duty.

however, aegon feels something weird growing in his chest, something that doesn’t make him feel that much better. not while knowing that you’re hurting because of his brother.

aegon parts his lips, debating whether or not to say what he has not say to anyone. ever. because open up to someone is not something aegon targaryen has done before, he’s pretty good at hiding his feelings in a bottle of liquor. or a couple.

“i feel alone, too.” aegon looks for the right words but they don’t come to his mind and he feels very vulnerable. “i am a burden to everyone. my family. the servants. my own father doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

what the prince says is no surprise to you. you’ve heard the servants talking about the prince and how they wish to never be in the receiving end of one of his outbursts.

“see?” he says and you lift your gaze, turning to look at him, who is already looking with his lips curved in a small smile. “we have something in common! we’re not entirely alone.”

the kind gesture of prince aegon of trying to make you feel better is not something anyone would do, not in king’s landing at least, much less by saying something so personal. but it makes you smile through your tears.

it is strange, sitting on a bench with aegon targaryen, talking and being vulnerable. this definitely wasn’t on your list this morning when you woke up, but it is something you’re always going to remember.

“now,” aegon says, drawing out a handkerchief and holding it out to you. shyly, you accept it. “i am sure you miss home and i have nothing else to do… so why don’t you tell me everything i need to know about winterfell?”

your heart fills with pride and longing. and as you wipe your tears you start telling him about those cold and happy days of your childhood while prince aegon listens very closely.

[littlemissprettyprincess]

This is for everyone who seems to be "struggling" with states + what I can suggest + My success story.

-Have you ever been one of those people to reach "that moment" in manifestation where you wanted to be, even if you have never either it doesn't matter. You know how much of an outsider and annoyed/obsessive over loa when seeing other people succeed and couldnt really find what would work for me. Sounds like you, huh? You are not the only one, I'll tell you exactly how to get out of there + master your manifesting skills and a bit of self-concept.

The. answer. is. staring. right. at your face.............................................Yes.

"But anon, wdym by that??" What I mean is that notice how all of these people who post their success stories are in the state of easy/effortless manifestation. Like they mention how easy it is and how effective it is. Thats because of their state, they chose to occupy the state of someone who does the bare minimum in loa and still gets wtf they want. It doesnt matter how many times you repeat your affs, persist, mental diet, you wanna know why you waste energy doing that? Is because your occupying the state of "difficult manifesting", meaning you obsess over it, you try so hard but "nothing" comes, you feel you need to do the most to get it. Notice how all of these points I made fall under the state of "difficult manifestation"?? if you were in that state, those things I just mentioned would've been what you experience. Why?? BECAUSE YOU OCCUPIED THE STATE OF SOMEONE WHO ISNT SUCCESSFUL IN MANFESTING!!!

A thing I def reccomend when using states to manifest is to understand the 4D IS THE TRUE REALITY AND NOT THE 3D. Yes I know you're tired of hearing the same thing but now that you have a shifted paradigm on states, it should be easier. What I did was know that the 4d is the blueprint, kind of put it on the pedestal but not in the negative way. It was a way where I didn't ignore the 3d and affirm against it, but focused on my 4d and stuck with it. Because "ignoring the 3d and affirming agains it" simply implies that your 3d is filled with undesirable things and you affirm against it.

Cause trust me I've been there when I say living in my 4d was making me crazy, but you know why it did? Was because I looked at the 3d for validation/ didnt trust what my 4d is saying. It's kind of like y'know when you like a guy/girl and your friend warns you to stay away from that person but you get annoyed at them because you think what they're saying is bullshit?? Same thing applies. If you dont trust your 4d and realise it creates the 3d and is so much more powerful than what you experience, when will living in the end ever be a fullfilling thing to do? Get it? "Fullfilled" LMFAOO I'm so hilarious, but enough of my corny jokes. Heres a summary

-Be in the state of someone who is a master at manifesting/self concept etc.

-Know that your 4d creates everything, when its done in your 4d, its done in 3d, a simple way to put this is just live in your mind because when you realise that, you change your imagination, you change your reality and there is so much power in knowing that.

-ANNDDD THENNN you can apply everything else like persisting, repeating affs etc.

I got perfect self-concept doing this, like I got compliments today and I felt so confident, I love the way I'm so pretty, like why am I so perfect and gorgeous?

I manifested many straight niggas to like me at my school (im black and gay) let me tell you!!! a nigga stopped and walked back and stared at me to see "Damn who is that??" I was laughing so hard.

Overall my life has improved, I get things to go my way and yeah. thats about my successes. I might start a blog but because of how disrespectful anons are Idk if I should.

-tysm lovies, stay hot nd mysterious, and know how powerful you are!!!! stop wavering!!!!!

omg, thank you so much for sharing this ! i hope this helps some people ! ♡

[sanctus-ingenium]

how clean are you colors before you merge them into the lines for painting? because i cant seem to find a balance between "my god i need to do this whole thing from scratch (too sloppy)" and "well whats the point of painting here (nothing left to paint if i merged the lineart)". sorry if this doesnt make any sense idk how to word myself better sometimes

I think I get you! Honestly I have a kind of threshold I reach where I know that I’ve done all that I can on separate layers and if I were to keep them separate, I’d just be creating more hassle for myself/forced to select layers and keep everything properly organised and it becomes a drag when I’d just rather be painting. And this is usually because I want to take advantage of the mixing effect of Sai’s paintbrush tool to start blending stuff. Also all my colours are on one layer anyway from the beginning (if I need especially ‘clean’ colours I might have a layer for them but I always merge them to the main colour layer before continuing). (also sorry I am away from my pc for a bit so I can’t show you actual Sai screenshots.. you will have to imagine). I ended up writing out the whole process in a way which is probably unhelpful

So for a painting like that one in the last post, I do my lines. Then I close the lines with a separate layer in the same folder (because the lineart looks better with gaps, but i fill colour by selecting outside the lineart while the folder is active, inverting selection, and paint bucket tool. Then delete the layer that closes the lineart). Base colour is usually the most common one in the palette. When I plan to merge the lines I usually make them solid/normal layer mode and colour the lines exactly to match the colours beneath, which is tedious but helps avoid the kind of translucent look lines on multiply layer give. But for that one the lines are on multiply. I lock the colour layer and paint in the other colours - different markings, materials, etc. It can be pretty rough because I know I can just paint over a wonky looking edge, but not so rough that I will have to go over it excessively later. Then with the lines and colours still on 2 separate layers, I put them both in a folder and clip a multiply layer onto that for cast shadows. Paint in cast shadows (again, it’s pretty rough, I know I will be merging & touching up everything at the end so it doesn’t have to be perfect. I hate multiply as a way to shade but I wanted shadows fast, again like I said it was a sketch I over-rendered I didn’t plan to polish it up so much. Normally I choose shadow colours and paint them like normal in the colour layer).

Then I merged the folder and the multiply layer into one layer (i usually make a copy of the lineart to keep it intact, just in case, and keep it hidden in the psd file). I make a new layer and paint in details that need to be sharp - usually around the eyes and face, where there is a focal point. This is because the default paintbrush in Sai has a slight mixing effect, and if I went in on the same layer it would not be as sharp. I use this new layer to paint in areas that need this sharp contrast and clean, tapered lines - like the stray hair and fluffy bits. Then merge all. Now I paint over the main layer all the things that don’t need that sharp treatment, this time taking advantage of the slight mixing effect of Sai’s paintbrush - I like this effect a lot and it’s what I use to blend the lineart into the colours, you can kind of ‘pull’ the lines out a little into the surrounding colour to make them less stark. Then I clip a new multiply layer to it, all one shade, to dim the entire painting so that the stark white highlights stand out more, clip a new layer on that, do the white highlights, merge all and bam it’s done

[drdemonprince]

I feel like you've answered a question on this before, so sorry if my search skillz failed me. how do you keep a playful attitude when trying new things? I started a book on wu-wei/'trying not to try' that has made me feel a bit hopeless so far, as I know that approaching things more casually/playfully will help it feel less painful (social situations, job search, dating, etc), but apparently you can't consciously try to be playful?!

Hmmmm this is a tricky question to answer, because it is far easier to describe what the end state feels like than to explain how I got there. But I will try!

I think if you're someone who tends to be quite skeptical and cynical about things, your first instinct during difficult situations might be to turn that skepticism toward yourself. You watch yourself trying to complete the new activity, or talk to the unfamiliar person, and all you can see is the flaws, and you tell yourself, "yeah, nice try bozo, you're never going to be good enough at this / it's never going to be worth it" and what do you know, you are crestfallen and unmotivated. And now that you're judging yourself and feeling shitty, it's even more difficult to complete the task.

but, in my experience in graduate school, developing as a creative writer, and just fumbling my way through social mores, there comes a time when you stop turning that skepticism on yourself all the time, and instead direct it outward, and begin to notice just how fucking confused and fucked up everybody else's attempts are. and if you're lucky, you might even notice other people's foibles and missteps with a sense of affection, rather than cruelty.

the more you step outside of yourself and observe others, the more you notice all the awkward things people say, the strange moments of crossed wires and missed signals, the jokes that fall flat, and just how much people really do not care about all of that so long as you keep engaged and keep your energy open and keep trying.

i have never seen a neurotypical socialize flawlessly. they say rude weird ass things and bump into other people all the fucking time! but they just keep going. often they don't even realize they've done anything wrong. and maybe they haven't even done anything wrong really. perfection isn't really what is expected. the energy is what matters more than the execution, and so if they move around with an open, receptive quality to themselves, and keep learning, they can get by being a little awkward or confused just fine.

and once you recognize how much people are fucking up all the time and that it doesnt really matter, and nobody really cares, for me it gets a lot easier to saunter around being my own level of messy and loose too. i used to judge how inept and oblivious everybody was -- at work, in school, during the hangout, on the train. and at some point i realized it was actually beautiful and something i could feel affectionate about.

it turns out you do not need to worry about everyone behind you in line at the grocery store hating you for taking too long putting your change away. AND you dont have to be mad at the guy in front of you who takes five minutes to put his change away either. because YOU are HIM and HE is YOU and we all suck and that's great.

it's fucking funny how silly and sloppy and dazed a lot of people really are. everybody fucks up constantly and is fucking weird. so who cares! i dont need to evacuate the space because i forgot myself and started picking my nose in public for a second. i can just rub my hand on my pant leg and move on. i dont need to give up going to the comic book club because me and one other guy there got into a small argument. i can come back the next month and make a joke about it with him. that's just normal messy human stuff.

the writer david cain talks about coping with social anxiety by imagining other human beings as kittens that have been dumped out from a basket into the room. they roam around, falling over themselves, exploring and sniffing and doing kitteny things, and none of them are a threat to you ever, and their actions dont mean all that much and certainly aren't all that menacing, they're just silly little animals fumbling around.

and i like to think of humans that way. we goof off, we devote an entire supposedly very serious work meeting to discussing something only tangentially relevant but far more emotionally compelling, we make up all kinds of games to play and weird rules for those games, and then we break the rules of those games and forget them. none of this shit is like, real. and the people who recognize what a goofy joke it is are often the most powerful.

not taking anything too seriously makes me feel powerful. im cynical and skeptical about everything that i get told is an airtight social or procedural rule, and i experiment around the boundaries of it, to see where it bends. but whereas i used to do that in a very bitter and entitled way, trying to find my way "out" of a system I had disdain for, now i can sometimes play with these boundaries and laugh at myself for tripping over them at times and just keep on moving, because that's what everybody does.

[glitchysquidd]

glitchy, i know you probably didnt mean it all in a way of hate but like you do know the n word was used to talk down and rebuke people of dark skin back in the slavery days. And i understand that its said a lot in your area but like for you to support it is not really putting you in a good light.

like i dont think you personally say it but you basically stood up for kaz saying it and him saying it like that just doesnt sit well with me.

i just heard about the drama with you guys and melo a couple hours ago so like idk..

melo seemed pretty upset about it so like idk, im not trying to hate on you or anything im just tryin to say why so many people would get offended by it, which i agree with because even though im white it could still harm dark skinned people, even if the person saying it IS dark skinned

Okay, I completely get this.

I completely understand this, I don't stand for the word either, in fact it bugs me or irritates me to hear it. I need you to understand from my point of view.

I didn't want a situation.

I tried talking to melo about it quickly to get it done with but worded it all horribly. That's my bad, that's my fault.

Kaz does not say it often or even ever, he does not make racist jokes "all the time."

And yes it's still bad he even said it even once. And they left out the context that kaz was reading offensive memes with melo.

It wasn't overly aggressive in context.

Does it make it okay? No.

He even came to me about it later that night, saying he was uncomfortable that even he had said it.

He was upset with himself.

Rightfully so.

I feel it's fair to add he also felt slightly pressured by Melo asking him again and again if he's racist.

It's definitely my fault that I worded it in a way that made him seem definitely racist when thats my fault.

He shouldn't be receiving a lot of flak I think I should for the misinformation and poor wording.

I've even told my friends who have said it to stop. I know I still hang out with them but it's literally just the environment I live in.

I don't like this environment, I want to leave as soon as possible.

Melo has left out context, etc. And Kaz didn't talk them down, maybe it seemed that way from their view but... his jokes do kind of poke and prod in a friendly way. I understand maybe they were too nervous to ask or speak up. However Kaz didn't mean it in a mean way or harmful way.

And Melo isn't perfect in this situation either.

Are they wrong for talking about it and expressing worry? No, that's their right, they can do as they please.

Personally I don't like situations like this because then people are fighting with each other. I didn't mean to be scary to them because I'm a bigger artist I'm barely popular by actual normal standards.

I apologize on my mistakes, as so does Kazachi.

They didn't try to completely talk it through with me, I would have respectfully had a talk with them.

I in no way meant any harm in this situation.

I'll take my fault.

I know I'm not completely in the right.

I understand people who block me, and unfollow me. Feel free to do so.

There's nothing I can personally say to make the situation right. I'm not perfect, never was, I'm sorry.

You guys might not see me for awhile, as I'm not in a good head space currently, but I hope you guys have a nice time.

I will probably reply to a few more things.

But I cannot say much on the situation.

I just can't.

I'm sorry this even happened to begin with.

Any posts further on that don't talk about this situation are more than likely scheduled/queued.

I haven't been in a good head space in awhile and I definitely need a break from the internet.

[itsallyscorner]

࿔*:･ﾟCo-Stars | H.S

↝ pairing: Actress!reader x Harry Styles

↝ faceclaim: Daisy Edgar Jones

↝ summary: You and Harry are co-stars—that’s it.

↝ warnings: spelling errors? Some mistakes, cursing.

↝ a/n: There’s a high chance that this will be a series made up of social media aus, blurbs, etc :) probably a little boring since it’s the first post but you guys can decide, my asks are always open if you want more of this :)

liked by imsebastianstan, harryfan1, and 20,309 others

enews Tastes like strawberries🍓! Harry Styles and Y/n L/n were spotted sharing a smooch on the set of “Sunshine” in London. Link in bio for a sneak peak of their new film together✨

view all 2,218 comments

harryfan1 how do you manifest being Y/n???

harryfan2 she’s so lucky ugh😩😩

ynfan1 I too would be gripping onto Y/n like that if I were in her presence

critic1 How do you have a talented actress like Y/n work on the same film as a wannabe actor like Harry???

harryfan3 if he was a “wannabe” actor, he wouldn’t have been in a Christopher Nolan movie🙄

ynfan2 don’t know who I wanna be, Y/n or Harry 😭😭

liked by ynupdates, harryssideboob and 35,937 others

harryflorals HARRY ON THE SET OF SUNSHINE TODAY

view all 292 comments

harryfan4 HE’S SO??????😭😭😭

harrysgrapejuice THE PANTS THE HAIR AHHHHHHHHHHH

harryfan5 IM SCREAMING AT WORK

harryfan6 I WASNT EXPECTING THIS TODAY LORD HAVE MERCY

harryfan7 bless whoever did his hair today😮‍💨

harryfan8 on my knees rn🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

harrysh0use what a colorful pretty boy🥺

liked by harryflorals, ynscloset, and 43,833 others

ynscamera Iubi on set today!💕

view all 356 comments

ynfan3 someone tell her to stop running, she’s clumsy😭

ynfan4 tag yourself, I’m the bag of crisps

ynfan5 Genuinely excited about the movie, but I have no clue what it’s about💀

ynscamera Everyone’s very hush hush about it, I’ve literally tried figuring out the plot through the clothes but I’m still confused🙃

harryfan9 what does iubi mean?

ynscamera it means sweetheart, baby, or darling in Romanian:) Sebastian Stan gave her the nickname after they worked on Fresh together!

harryfan9 @ynscamera oh, that’s actually so cute🥺

ynfan6 They’ve been filming for like months I need the trailer😩😩

ynfan7 her side profile is just perfect I’m jealous

ynfan8 The fact that Harry gets to work and talk with her everyday

ynfan9 I wanna be Harry Styles

liked by ynscamera, shroombloom, and 68,383 others

harryflorals HARRY AND Y/N BEING COMFY ON SET

view all 683 comments

ynfan10 a couple of babies❤️

harryfan10 cuties literal cuties

ynscamera I wanna know what they talk about

harryfan11 I bet they talk about their favorite types of wine😌

ynfan11 @ynscamera do you think she’s shown him pictures of her dog yet??

ynscamera @/harryfan11 I’d be surprised if she hasn’t done it yet

ynfan12 I CANT WAIT FOR THIS MOVIE AHHHHHH

harryfan12 Can she pls release pictures from set, I know she has them on her camera👀

liked by harryflorals, cou_cou, and 67,497 others

ynscamera Y/n and Harry out for dinner in London!! 🍽 #sunshine

view all 595 comments

harryflorals LOOK AT MY FAVES

harryflorals I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

harryfan11 I TOLD YALL THEY DRINK WINE TOGETHER😤😤😤

ynfan13 I know we said we weren’t gonna ship them—but guys😩😩

ynfan14 PLEASE TELL ME YOU SAW THEM TAKING PICTURES OUTSIDE?????

liked by ynscamera, florencepugh, and 78,837 others

harryflorals HARRY AND Y/N TAKING PICTURES AFTER DINNER

view all 934 comments

ynfan15 YOUR HONOR I LOVE THEM

ynscamera not them being in a silly goofy mood together😩

ynscamera @/yourinstagram miss ma’am I can’t be shipping you with another white male PLEASE

harryfan13 UM HELLO?? FLORENCE PUGH LIKED THE POST

harryfan14 HIS HAND ON HER BACK SO SHE DOESNT FALL BYEEE😩😩

harryfan15 sleeping on the highway tonight🤪

ynfan16 I love how the major Harry and y/n fan accounts are just merging and becoming one

ynfan17 FLORENCE LIKED

harryfan16 FLORENCE FREAKING LIKED

liked by harryflorals, ilovemitchrowland, and 78,936 others

ynscamera Y/n and Harry spotted on set today✨ (submitted by @/ilovemitchrowland)

view all 836 comments

ilovemitchrowland Guys I saw them with my own eyeballs

harryfan17 YOURE SO LUCKY

harryfan18 I’m so jealous😭

ilovemitchrowland they were literally so adorable, you can hear the two of them laughing from across the street🥺

ynfan18 hear me out maybe it’s not a bad idea to ship them👀

harryfan19 God, I’ve seen what you do for others—

ilovemitchrowland and Harry’s so sweet, Y/n was practically jogging to catch up with him so he slowed down so they can walk together🥲

ynfan19 bless them🥺🥺🥺

harryfan20 I’m crying that’s so fucking sweet

ynfan20 I forgot how tall Harry is and seeing him next to Y/n’s short ass reminded me of how much he resembles the height of a bloody tree

[femdomliterature]

FemLit 0600 - Getting into a Female Led Relationship is more difficult than it sounds

Credit: https://sanaslave.tumblr.com/ It is because people enter into it with the expectation of a high. They are all fascinated by the fun stuff they will do. Locking his dick, giving her massages, feet worship, the man doing all household chores and laundry, ruined orgasms, humiliation and this list is endless.

But once they enter into it, the couple realizes that it is not as fascinating and easy going as it sounded. The woman might not feel dominant enough or the man might not feel submissive enough. Today I am going to talk about one of the challenges that the couple faces in an FLR, which is “Training your man”.

At first, I thought it is going to be easy, since he had expressed that he wants to be submissive to me and follow my lead. I imagined that I would give him orders and he will simply obey them. I would tell him to change his habits that I hated and he will gladly agree. Afterall, this is how they showed it in the captions and erotica, right?

Well, I was very wrong. Very very wrong.

I overlooked the fact that we both are humans and we need logic and time to change ourselves. I cannot expect him to change just because he has expressed his submissive desires. We even had discussions where he raised his points and tried to convince me why his habits were correct and did not need to be changed. There was a lot of to and fro. I told him that there is nothing wrong with how he does things, its just that I want them to be done in a certain way. As simple as that! As a submissive, my happiness should exceed his comfort zone. For example, he liked to keep his laptop, chargers and headsets near our bed so that these gadgets are easily accessible whereas I liked the gadgets at their proper place. If needed, he can fetch those gadgets, use them and then again keep them at their place. He gave me arguments that it is more comfortable and easier if the things are in an “arm’s reach” but I would prefer cleanliness and tidiness to comfort.

I also read articles about “How to train your slave” and guess what I found – Edge him, ruin his orgasm, lock his dick, prostate milking, spank him, etc. After seeing these articles, I was like – How is this even training? I want my slave to be a better submissive for me and this is what is being suggested? These articles were surely written by a man!

Well, here I am giving a list of things you can do to “Train your man to be a better slave” –

Manners and habits – Teach him the manners and habits that you expect from him and dont compromise. Men do have certain habits that differ from us women. For example, they tend to keep the wet towel on the bed after bathing.  Men tend to keep the “gym shoes” outside the shoe rack so that they are easily accessible. Men might not leave the kitchen tidy after cooking or they might procrastinate your orders till the very end.

You need to let your man know your expectations very clearly and then point out whenever he fails to meet them. This requires patience. You might, at times, feel that it is useless to try to teach him because he never listens. But if he’s a good submissive, deep inside he wants to be the perfect slave and will appreciate your efforts for training him.

Service – Your man is your butler/servsnt/maid in a Female Led Relationship. Get him to do things that make your life easier. A dominaht woman should not "have" to do anything she doesnt want to. For example, I had to go to a friend’s home for party and sleepover. I had my slave help me with almost everything. I told him to take out my suitcase from the storage. Clean it. Iron my clothes. I tried my clothes after ironing so he had to fold them again and kept them in the suitcase. I told him to clean my heels. Paint my nails. Charge my phone and so on.

The point is to delegate whatever you can. In the begining allow him very little free time. You want every waking minute concentrating on you, your needs etc. In time you can allow him more. Youll find by then he'd rather forgoe any "me time". At first, his service might not be satisfactory. Just make sure to give feedback and continue improving his service and skills. Soon enough, you will realize that his presence is imperative for your comfort. You would need your butler for everything and you will realize how much he is actually making your life easier. I struggled with guilt in the beginnig. Belive me that fades fast. Reassure yourself he craves service and maje the most of it.

Praise him – Praising him boosts his confidence and motivates him to continue making efforts for you. He knows when he has been a good slave but getting this recognition from you will boost his morale.

Demonstrate – You might need to demonstrate certain things while training him. You might need to show him how you prefer certain things to be done and the quality of work you are expecting from him. For example, you might have a preference for how sheets should be done while making the bed, or you might like the kitchen crockery to be organized in a certain manner.

Whatever it is, do not assume that he knows what to do when you are ordering him. Also, tell him that he should come and ask you if he has any confusion regarding the stuff to avoid duplication of efforts.

Practice – Practice makes a (submissive) man perfect. Do not forget that your slave is a human. He would need time to be good at things, especially if they are women-specific. We women have been painting our nails since our childhood but who would have imagined that my slave would take almost a month to become good at polishing my nails?

He did ruin it many times. I had to be patient. Nails that could have been done in 10 minutes took 20-25 minutes, that too with the finishing that did not meet my expectations. Sometimes I had to make the corrections myself later on. Fast forward 5 months, I went to a salon to get my eyebrows done and the woman doing my eyebrows said “Mam, your nails are looking beautiful, did you get them done at our salon?” I couldn’t have been more proud of my slave. (and myself)

Practice is the key.

Specifics – The details that he notices might not be the details that I notice. He might be feeling proud that he has done a fabulous job but I might spot something that would make his efforts seem incomplete. For example, if he’s dusting the dressing table but not keeping my stuff back the way it was, I might not even recognize his efforts because for me the task has not been completely done. It is incomplete.

Or, if he cleans my shoes but does keep the duster back at it’s place, the service is incomplete.

I had to tell him the specifics that I notice. I had to teach him to look at the things from my perspective. This is something that will continue forever because I am also a human and I will change as well. But I make sure that I am communicating properly and he is aware about how to make me happy.

Sexual training – Every woman is different and her sexual preferences are different. If you will not communicate what you want, you might not get what you want. Train him sexually. Tell him the speed you like, the angle you like, the thrusts you like. Teach him how you like oral sex to be. You can even implement certain gestures like, if his head is between your legs and you squeeze his head, it means he needs to slow down.

Sexual communication might seem unimportant but it dramatically helps to improve the sex life.

Bait – Now comes the last point. Bait him. Use your femininity to control him. Practice to use your womanhood to your advantage. He is not just a slave to your Dominance, he is a slave to your looks, your dirty talks and your body. Tease and deny him to keep him emotionally charged up. Control his orgasms and use his fantasies to get him to do what you want. This is one of the most important tools along with emasulation.

Emasculation. - with teasing/orgasm denial this is an amazing tool to train a man. When he feels less "manly" he becomes more pliable to your dominance. It strips his mske ego away. Some think this means feminization but thsts not it. Its stripping him of the patriarchy and replacing with matriarchy. Think of dates. A man takes a woman out. Pays ect. But when we go out. I take him. I pay, even though it may be from his wages. But the money is all mine anyway.

I take my man out for a dinner date. When the waiter comes to take your order, I choose what he will be having, what he will be drinking and I give all the orders to the waiter. I don’t let him speak.

(I am not a fan of promoting kinks for maintaining your Dominion. A true submissive man should be a slave to you even in the absence of kinks but kinks can boost his morale.)

Well, I believe you would have got an idea about how to train your man. It is far more than you would expect. It might seem tedious. Just keep your communication clear.

In the end, I promise it will prove to be worth it.

[thequeenoffishburrito]

MEME REDRAW OF RED AND BLUE FROM THIS IS HOW YOU LOSE THE TIME WAR!

SO! We're reading it in my English class, which is great since I've been wanting to read it since bigolas dickolas reccomended it, and for the essay on it my teacher is letting us include a meme at the end of it! SO OBVIOUSLY I need to put my art skills to work and redraw that yugioh meme with these two.

I did struggle a bit when drawing this, but I made the mistake of doing the lienart on photoshop at school since I dont have a 1 to 1 perfect brush equivalent at home so I didn't do any other features on red to look like a cyborg (also cuz idk how. But hey, maybe I'll go back in and eidt it!!). Though I also tried to give them both dysntinct styles (blue softer and red more bold (which is funny, since while yeah blue is from garden and she has a lot of intrest in old poetry, old literature, etc., she's still just as cold/brutal/violent as red. Idk. Just a funny thought!

I also made sure the bg was a sunset and that the blue and red of the sky doesnt touch at all! :'D I even hue shifted red's tears to be less blue and blue's mouth to fall more on a purplish end of pink. (I shouldve probably done it more though... If I go back and edit it I'll def change that (will be hard since I basically duplicated then grouped the layers so I could shrink it and not have 2 groups full of layers (I have a layer hoarding problem) but I can try!)

ANYWAYS YEAH AHHHHHHHHH

I probably shouldn't have put this much effort into this since I have a lot of homework I need to do but rn nothing else matters.

[lesharl-eclair]

simi fic recs pt. 1

um i wrote half of this at 2am so.. any errors mine ::::) heed the tags etc etc i think this doesnt; need to be saisd

all fics below the cut; if you enjoyed these fics, please show the authors comment and kudo love; should you be the author of a fic that's here, and don't want to be here, please reach out to me and your wish is my command :)

individual fics first as always!

maybe just a little by neonbreadsticks (G, 4.1k)

Kimi doesn’t remember much these days. Only the soft glow of the sunlight through the beige curtains, and the smell of the flowers in the garden before they bloom. The sound of a beat-up Aston Martin idling in his driveway and his dustless shelves in his living room. The curve of Seb’s lips, pulled back against his cheeks, the crows feet that only appear when he laughs at things beyond Kimi’s level of understanding.  Kimi doesn’t remember much these days, but he remembers enough.

ok fr i cried (and proceeded to write this)

this is one of my all-time favourite simi fics because of how beautiful it is - their story isn't over-embellished, it's just given a lot of space to shine. there's a certain heartache that comes w/ the added complication of ferrari & discarding of naivete & us vs the world levels of heroic framing & the idea that seb isn't ok but kimi's there that makes the fic really bring on the waterworks for me.

***

to survive the tides by @shih-coulda-had-it (T, 4.6k)

The surge of want nearly overwhelmed Sebastian’s impulse control, sorely tested since the beginning of their partnership in Ferrari, and now so worn and tattered that Sebastian almost said, ‘Yes, go ahead, take whatever you want, I will give it to you.’ Sebastian Vettel attends the 2018 FIA Prize Giving.

OH MY GOD i spent an embarrasingly long time making sure it was actually your tumblr hehehaha.

something really special about the way you wrote the interactions. everything is incredibly true to life (warily impressed at the amount of research you must have done)

there's a sense of restrained tension slash want slash bittersweet something that runs through this entire thing. am very compelled. every time i reread this it's a different experience.

***

to the finnish line by @rosyjuly (E, 3.2k)

"It’s the perfect car to have some fun. Might even take the roof down.” They do. They also take Charles back to their hotel room.

can i just say i let out a very embarrassing noise when i realised who the author was on tumblr like oh my GOD. OH my goddd

SIMI DOMESTICITY SHINING THROUGH??? as unlikely as it seems in such a fic. inside jokes. the very questionable power dynamics lol. seriously torn about how to feel for charles. very brilliant unexpected characterisation.

***

what a thing to choose by @thereisstillalifetolive (E, 2/2, 10.1k)

If someone had asked Kimi what he thought about Seb’s acting ability prior to this he would’ve laughed in their face, Iceman or not. Because while Seb’s ability to talk circles around a question he doesn’t want to answer is unparalleled, a reasonably trained goldfish could discern how he feels about it. Except. Right now, Kimi’s not entirely certain what year he’s actually in.

still don't know how to talk about this fic coherently it was one of the holyshit moments for me

there are still some tiny sweet moments that shine through. amidst all the Stuff going on. and the vulnerability becomes all the more devastating. like yes this is ageplay this is performance (to some extent) but it's also very real. characterisation is breathtaking, sex speaks for itself, possessive kimi + desperate seb is hmmmmhmmhm. rearranging my brain.

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thanks for reading, etc. there's loooots more simi fic recs coming your way if i can be bothered

as always, if you enjoyed this, or if i missed any fic, please let me know :) drop me an ask for any ship if you're dying to see something!