Squealing Santa 2k23: Gunpowder, Treason, and Plot
~A/N - I return out of the depths of my writing hiatus to bring @rosiesramblings her squealing santa fic for this year!!! This will be the last fic I post on this blog...
because I'm moving to my writing account for 2024 onwards (hehe don't worry I'm not quitting writing). I'll link the writing blog soon ^^
This will also be my first ever Red, White, and Royal Blue fic which I'm super excited about, and the prompt was:
"lee annoying the ler into tickling them"
As I couldn't choose who I wanted to lee more, I decided that after the initial round of annoyance-to-tickles, the tables would then turn. Just for funsies hehe.
Rosie, I hope your holidays have been nothing but wonderful so far, I hope you enjoy the fic, and I wish you a fantastic finish to 2023.
The best of vibes to you, and to anyone else reading this <3
(EDIT: SDJFHASDFLKSHJKLH I FORGOT TO ADD A TITLE LMAO HERE'S MY LAST MINUTE BRAIN THINKING UP SOMETHING THANK U ALL LOVE U)
- Enoy! ~
Tag List: @rosiesramblings
In the early days of Alex and Henry's interactions, anyone on the inside of the respective families could tell you they annoyed the crap out of each other. Whether it was intentional or not was another debate, but it was clear the pair got on each other's nerves.
As the two grew closer, the taunts and jabs thrown between them were often accompanied by a cheeky grin or smug eyebrow raise to lighten the tone. And sure, the comments themselves had turned from competitively one-upping each other into playful conversational love-bites. But that doesn't mean the subject of their incessant banter had changed.
"I'm surprised you could get that all by yourself." Henry smirked from the doorway, gesturing to the glass of juice Alex had in his hands.
"Good morning to you too," Alex quipped back with a grin, "and I'm not the one with hundreds of servants at my every beck and call."
Henry chuckled softly, allowing his boyfriend to give a quick peck to his cheek. "I thought you would have at least needed one to help you reach the glasses, the shelf is awfully high."
With a playful shove, Alex's mouth lay agape for a few moments. Taking his chance to be even more of a little shit, Henry softly lifted the glass from Alex's hands and took a sip.
"Not to mention," he continued, wiping his mouth momentarily as Alex snatched his drink back, "the juice itself is on one of the highest shelves in the fridge..."
With a chuckle of disbelief, Alex rolled his eyes. "Someone woke up on the asshole side of the bed."
"I don't know if it's the different sides..." Henry grinned. "I think it's just your bed."
With a look of shock and playful outrage on Alex's face, the First Son retaliated with a soft jabbing finger to Henry's ribs.
Apparently, this was the first time Alex had poked that particular area. Because Henry jerked away in a motion that Alex had never seen him do before. And the squeak that accompanied it was nothing short of mortifying for the normally very composed future king of england.
"Oh~?" Alex chuckled, raising an eyebrow. There was a hint of question in his voice, but Henry barely registered it past the strong tone of mischief accompanying Alex's growing smirk.
After a flash of panic darted across his face, Henry straightened himself up (though he couldn't help the nervous bark of laughter that came out of him as he spoke). "Alehex no..."
"What's the matter?" Alex moved closer. "Ticklish?"
"Of course I'm nOT-"
Timing his launch perfectly, Alex near-enough tackled his partner to the ground. With all of Henry's nervous energy the poor guy's limbs weren't following instructions very well, so it was almost too easy for Alex to sit on top of his legs and pin him to the floor.
"Alex- wait- please- you'll kILL MEHEHE!" Henry babbled desperately. His arms flailing wildly in front of his body, hoping that in some way he could catch Alex's damn hands and save himself.
"Worth it." Alex grinned, fingers wriggling in preparation for his attack (and also to mess with Henry).
"Thahat's treasohohon!"
Alex bent over, lowering his face so his nose was almost touching Henry's. "Anything to hear you laugh baby."
With his face blocking Henry's view, Alex caught his boyfriend completely off guard as his hands began spidering at Henry's sides. The prince squeaked in surprise before bursting into giggles - accompanied by the occasional 'stohohop it!'.
Adding insult to injury, Alex started to nuzzle his mouth into the crook of Henry's neck. The mixture of the soft kisses and scratchy stubble brushing against Henry's poor skin was driving the man insane, not to mention the fingers that were now wreaking havoc on his hip bones.
"AHAHALEHEX!" Henry screeched out between bouts of laughter. "PLEHEHEASE!"
"Please what baby?" Alex grinned into Henry's jaw. "Please accept your apology for teasing me earlier?"
"NEHEHEV- AHAHALEX!"
A man had never regretted his words faster than Henry did in that moment, as Alex rushed his fingers to claw at Henry's armpits after the prince's audacious response.
What Henry did next, or more accurately what his body reacted with next, was nothing short of a miracle for his situation.
Whilst trying to shove Alex off him, Henry had grabbed at the man's thighs. And whilst normally this wouldn't elicit much from his boyfriend (aside from perhaps a smirk or raise of an eyebrow), something about his finger placement and strong grip made Alex collapse to one side in a weird flailing motion.
It took only a few moments for Henry to catch his breath and realise what had happened.
"Seems I'm not the only ticklish one." Henry gasped, but the smile on his face was completely different to before.
"Henry..." Alex laughed nervously, starting to scoot himself away. "that's classified..."
"I'm your boyfriend." Henry propped himself up on his elbow and leaned forwards, an almost predatory look across his face. "Be honest."
Alex laughed again and tried to start sitting up. "Sorry, I'm legally not allowed to tELL YOU."
Before Alex could even finish his sentence Henry scrambled onto hands and knees and charged towards Alex.
The now panicking First Son yelped and tried to wrestle his way back into a safe position. But his efforts were fruitless, and Alex soon found himself lying on his back with Henry sitting on top of his legs.
"Don't worry sweetheart." Henry cracked his knuckles. "I can always find out myself."
"Yohou don't have clearahance for that!" Alex tried to steady his voice, but anticipatory giggles kept interrupting his flow of speech. "Ihihi can throhow you in jahahail!"
Henry couldn't help but laugh. "What was it you said earlier...?" He brought his hand to his chin as if deep in thought. "Something about doing anything to make someone laugh?"
"Henry, baby, please!" Alex spluttered, frantically trying to cover his entire torso from his hips to his ribs with his arms.
But little did he know, Henry already had a plan in motion.
The genius little Prince himself had sat just high enough on Alex's stomach to have a little pocket of access behind him right to the man's hips. And, with his knees blocking most of Alex's ability to protect the area, Henry only had to dart his hands behind his back and squeeze.
Alex's torso launched itself off the ground for a few seconds in a half-situp position, before his laughter finally exploded out of his chest and let him collapse back to the floor.
The future king of England had to pause at that moment. He figured Alex would be ticklish, but holy shit this was a whole other level of sensitive. His thumbs were barely rolling over Alex's hip-bones, so one could only imagine how bad this could possibly get.
"HEHEHEHEHENRY!" The poor guy squealed, writhing on the floor with a cheek-splitting grin worthy of the front page of a magazine.
"Yes my dear?" Henry laughed softly, moving his hands to now target Alex's ribs.
"STAHAHAHAP!"
The Prince's chuckles continued. "I'll consider it."
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Peace and Quiet. [platonic Sonic x Shadow]
Peace and quiet. All he wanted was a little peace and quiet.
What Shadow got instead were flashes of cobalt blue always appearing somewhere in his vision, along with constant chatter in his ear about this and that and stupid shit he only half-listened to when he had the patience for it. Conversations he prayed would end as quickly as possible but seemed to drag out every time. Or worse, when his attention was demanded for an absolutely ridiculous reason. Like it was at that very moment.
“Shadooooow! Look, I finally figured out how to do that one trick I told you about!”
The black hedgehog watched from his chair on the front porch as Sonic make his 47th fucking attempt at an upside down kick flip on the oak tree in front of the house and fail, quite miserably. He hit his head on a sharp rock and cradled it in his hands as a giant lump appeared on his forehead.
“Owwwowwowwoww...! Ugh, I thought I had it this time!”
“Hmph.”
He should’ve known that peace & quiet was too much to ask for, being around that blue menace and the rest of his friends. All of those big personalities shoved together in one house. That immature fox who cried every time someone made fun of him. That knuckleheaded echidna whose fists were bigger than his brain. That pink wannabe soothsayer who always tried to “pull cards” for him and analyze his natal chart or whatever new age shit she was into at the time.
And worst of all, that loudmouth hedgehog who never stopped shoving chili dogs into his big stupid mouth and didn’t know the meaning of silence.
Under normal circumstances he would have hightailed it out of that tiny shack on the edge of the forest, but times had changed since they all first met. There was always a new crisis manifesting, a threat to the world they were all expected to handle by themselves. Living together made it easier to assemble their little “hero” team instead of having to chase down everyone on all corners of the earth. It wasted precious time and energy, both inconvenient and annoying.
But despite the fact that they had been together for months already, the lifestyle change was still difficult for Shadow. He was used to being on his own, fending for himself, not having to speak at length for long periods of time. Having roommates who practically begged for his companionship and attention was a huge adjustment. Being expected to make idle small talk everyday was a pain in the ass. Hell, having anybody in his personal space for too long was too much.
But he did it anyway, because no one had ever wanted to be friends with him until now. And as much as he hated to admit it, he didn’t feel as lonely now as he used to.
While Sonic recovered from his clumsy little stunt, Shadow’s ears perked up as he heard a panicked cry for help coming from inside the house. Before he could turn his head to see what it was, flashes of orange and red appeared in his peripheral vision.
“Leave me alone! I didn’t do anything!!”
“Get BACK here you lying brat!”
Tails was, well, hightailing it as far as his two tails could carry him, followed in close pursuit by an angry and vengeful Knuckles. The two passed by Sonic, who watched them run circles around him before finally stepping in.
“Soniiiiic! Help meeee!”
“Lemme at him! He ate my last grape!”
“I didn’t do it!! Amy was the last one with the grapes!”
“You’re LYING! I caught you red handed you little twerp!”
Shadow shook his head as he returned to reading his book. Such foolishness over something so silly as food. He prayed it would be over soon so he wouldn’t have to hear all the fucking whining.
“Wait, I wanna play too!” Sonic finally piped up, ready to play. “I’ll grab him for ya, Knucks
“SONIC! NOOOOO!”
Shadow watched them attack one another with eyebrows furrowed. Such childish behavior over something so trivial. He wouldn’t bother getting involved. He gave up on reading and crossed his arms, closing his eyes as he listened to the commotion.
“You grab him and I’ll pin him down!”
“NO! Pleeeease! I didn’t do anything!!”
“You’re gonna get it now, foxboy. I’ll teach you to mess with my stuff.”
“Wait, no, no! NOOO - ahahaha! PLEEHEHEHESE DON’T!”
Confused by the sudden laughter, Shadow opened one eye to see why the fox was suddenly squealing and begging as if being tortured by hot skewers. What he saw made his fur stand on edge.
Sonic had pinned Tails’s arms to the ground, holding them down tightly as Knuckles tickled his pits mercilessly. The fox was squeezing his eyes shut, wiggling from left to right as he struggled with all his might to break free and laughed loud enough to scare the birds away from the trees. Sonic was grinning deviously as he watched Knuckles dig into what must have been the poor fox’s most ticklish spot until he cried. It was enough to give him the chills.
Shadow decided that he did not want to get involved under any circumstances. He uncrossed his legs and stood up, walking towards the back of the house where he would be out of sight and out of mind.
“Hey, Shadow! Wanna give us a hand?” Sonic called out, making Tails plead even harder.
“Nope.”
“Aww, come on! Stop being a grump for once and come play!”
“I refuse.”
“If you don’t help, we’ll get you too!”
Nope, nope, nope. There was no fucking way.
Shadow scurried off, hoping that if he was not seen and not heard that he would be forgotten. That’s always how things had been, anyway. He was really good at blending in with the background and avoiding all interactions. Maybe Sonic would leave it be and move on with his life.
“Tch,” he scoffed. Wishful thinking. Before he took his next step, Sonic was in his face grinning at him like an idiot.
“... AGH! How the hell…?”
“You ran away pretty quickly there, Shadow. Why’s that?”
“Mind your business.”
“Are you nervous or somethin’? You look like you saw a ghost.”
“No. Now leave me alone.”
“Whyd’ya gotta be so grumpy all the time? Have some fun for once in your life!”
“Fun to me is peace and quiet, two things I can’t seem to get living with the lot of you.”
He turned his back on Sonic. A grave mistake, in hindsight. If he had only paid attention to that glint in his eye, that mischievous expression of his… he would’ve seen it coming.
Instead, he felt two hands grab his waist, which made him fall to his knees, and yelp like a dog that had been hit with a rock.
He froze. Every quill on his body stood on end. He swung around to face Sonic, who looked just as surprised as he was.
“What was that?!”
“Shut your mouth. Not another word.”
A cheeky grin spread across Sonic’s face, and Shadow knew it was all over.
“No way… Shadow, you’re-”
Shadow took off before he heard the end of the sentence. He didn’t know what to say. And even if he did, he wouldn’t have been able to say it. So instead of speaking, he ran.
He bolted into the woods in attempt to get as far away as possible. He knew it was futile; Sonic had always been faster and nimbler than he. But it was all he could think of. It was his last hope for escape.
It only took a few seconds for Sonic to catch him. The blue hedgehog slammed into him, pushing his darker rival to the ground and pinning him on his stomach by sitting on his lower back. He couldn’t move. He could barely struggle. He started to panic, realizing what a compromising position he found himself in and began squirming like a snake speared through.
“Urrgh, get off me!”
“Why? You worried I’ll do something to ya?”
“If you touch me, I swear to God…”
“What, you’ll kill me? Dontcha think it'll be kinda hard to do that when you’re trapped like this?”
Sonic poked one of his sides, right under his rib, and Shadow jolted as if struck by lightning. He let out a gruntled yelp, trying his damned hardest to stifle a laugh. Sonic poked him again, and again, in again, alternating between the left and right to throw him off guard. Each touch caused him to jerk around as he choked back his laughter.
“Something wrong, Shadow?”
“Nghhh! N-No! ACK!”
“You seem a little tense. It couldn’t be because of these little pokes, right?”
“Mmpph! GAHHH!”
“The big, bad ultimate life form... taken down by tickles. Who woulda thought you had such an adorable weakness!”
At this point Shadow couldn’t muster a single word without potentially letting his facade crack. He bit his lip, pounded his fists on the ground, attempting all forms of physical release if it meant that his laughs wouldn’t escape. He couldn’t laugh, he wouldn’t laugh, not when he knew what would come next if he did…
Unfortunately for him, it didn’t take long for him to finally crack.
He felt Sonic’s hands at both sides of his waist again, fingers pressed against sides and ribs waiting for the right moment to attack. Shadow was breathing heavily, bracing himself for the next tickle attack. The anticipation was making it worse. If he was gonna do it, then he should just d-
“AAAAAH! Nghhh, mmhmhmmhm, FAHAHAHACK!”
Ten fingers dug into his body, wiggling and pinching and stroking every sensitive inch. It was way worse than he had expected. He had no idea that his seldom-touch body could be so sensitive or that light touches could make him thrash about so wildly. He understood why Tails was screaming and begging so loudly before. It was absolutely unbearable.
“Tickle tickle tiiiickle! Wow, this must be really bad for you, huh?”
“Ahahahahahaha! Fffff-FAHAHACK!”
Shadow couldn’t even muster a proper word. It was all too much. And it seemed to go on forever. Sonic somehow managed to find every horrible spot on his upper body. His underarms, his waist, the horrid spaces between his ribs. All of them tickled terribly as he screamed and tried to buck him off. The worst part was Sonic’s incessant teasing. It was humiliating enough being taken down with tickles, but to be teased about it? Certain death.
“Say uncle or I’m not gonna stop!”
“Fahahhackahahaff!!”
“Saaaay it! Or else I’ll keep going!”
“NAHAHAHAHA!”
Only a couple minutes had passed and he was already out of breath, red in the face, and willing to do whatever it took to make it stop. He had no idea how sadistic Sonic could be. If he hadn’t been so proud, he would’ve begged for mercy long ago.
Finally, after what felt like forever, it stopped, Shadow felt the pressure lift off his back, but instead of running he found himself stuck in the same spot on the ground, struggling to catch his breath. He was completely tuckered out from the tickling. Embarrassed of his display of weakness, he kept his eyes on the ground despite feeling Sonic’s gaze.
“You alright bud? That took a lot out of you, huh?” The blue hedgehog extended a hand, which he pushed aside while he pulled himself off the ground.
“...Ha… haaaa… leave me alone…”
“Aww I’m sorry Shadow! I guess I got a little carried away. You just sounded so… happy, for once. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you actually laugh hard like that.”
“You… don’t you dare tell anyone about this…”
Sonic smiled sheepishly. “Hey, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about! Lots of people are super ticklish. But I promise I won’t tell a soul. Scout’s honor!”
He crossed his heart and looked at Shadow with such a genuine expression that he couldn’t help but feel relieved. He couldn’t fully trust him, at least not yet, but at least his honor could stay intact for the time being.
He would never admit it out loud... but messing around like that was more fun than he had expected.
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