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random-mha-thoughts · 5 years

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Greedy (Shinsou x Reader)

Pairing: Shinsou x Reader

Genre: Fluff/Comfort, College!AU

Summary: You’re an extremely touch-starved college student, so you ask your friend Shinsou to help you out.

Word count: 2,282

Tags: @yuki-osaki @liviitehe @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog @bunnythepipsqueak

a/n: I may or may not be projecting on this one...

This took way longer to write and it ended up way longer and shittier than I expected. Not to mention I fell asleep in the middle of writing last night, so I’m sorry this wasn’t up sooner!

I was debating between Shinsou and Todoroki on this one, but I haven’t written for Shinboi in a while, so why not? (If you guys want a Todoroki ver, I’ll write it too!)

I hit 500 followers 2 days ago! Thank you guys again for liking my posts and my content, I really appreciate it! I’ll work hard to give you better stuff in the future!

I said in my milestone post that I would start a new tradition of spotlighting other writers/artists in the community that I follow to spread some love around, so I’m promoting @lovingshoto once again! If you want some floofy headcanons and one shots, go check her out!

Alright, I’m done talking, enjoy lovelies~

My friend blinks at me. He's practically frozen with fear at my proposal.

"Come on, it's not that bad! Why are you looking at me like I asked you to hide a body for me?" I whine.

"It's not that." He puts down the drink he almost choked on. "It's just...very strange."

I'll admit, it's a very unconventional request I asked of Shinsou, but it's very rational, I swear. "I have scientific evidence to persuade you. Science agrees that it helps lower depressive symptoms and stress. And it releases Oxytocin and makes you happier. Which I really think both of us can benefit from."

My friend sighs. "It still sounds really weird."

"And it improves sleep." I give him a pointed look.

For the first time in our conversation, Shinsou finally seems interested. "Alright, I'm listening."

A grin splits my face in two. "We can start at twice a week! That way, it won't interfere with both of our busy schedules too much."

The violet-haired boy crosses his arms over his chest. "What's so great about cuddling anyway?"

My jaw drops to the floor. "Shinsou, are you telling me you've never cuddled anyone before?" When his face turns red in shame, I know his answer. "You poor, touch-starved boy. How about tonight we give it a try, and then you can give me your answer?"

Shinsou levels a gaze at me. I can't read what exactly he's thinking, but I'm hoping I'm pulling him to my side. Spring is start to hit and I'm feeling both the emotional and physical consequences of so-called cuffing season. Long, hot showers, wrapping myself in blankets, and clothing myself in hoodies and fuzzy socks to survive winter aren't cutting it for me anymore. I want to say I'm becoming influenced by the amount of couples I see walking around campus, but it sounds more intelligent for me to say it's a natural instinct of animals.

But I know it's just an emotional thing, I'm lonely and touch-starved myself.

Shinsou rubs the back of his head. "Where and when is this happening?"

The poor, confused boy stands in front of my bed. "What am I supposed to do again?"

Huffing, I pull his arm into me. "Just get in here and hug me. I'll help you."

I don't blame my awkward friend for being hesitant. He's not usually one for invading personal space and he's definitely not the hugging type. Unfortunately for him, I am a hugger and physical touch whore.

"Just lay back like this, arm out." I position him on his back before laying on my side, using his arm as a pillow and wrapping an arm around his torso, almost like hugging a life-sized teddy bear. Feeling his warmth radiating from him, I hum in satisfaction. "Just like that."

Shinsou eyes me, stiff as a board. It's a cute expression, watching his face tinted in rosy blush. "W-What now?"

I shrug. "We just talk. Or we can just stay here silently." But he's still panicked about the whole thing, so I decide it might be easier for him to be distracted by conversation. "How was your bio test yesterday?"

"It was...okay." His gaze darts back and forth between me and some other object in the room. "I think I messed up on one of the answers."

His arm under me hasn't relaxed from his tense state. "Are you having trouble in class in general?"

"Yeah, but the bio department in general is out to get all of us anyway. Something about narrowing down the huge number of pre-med kids."

I nod slowly, but Shinsou still looks completely nervous. "Hey, is this making you too uncomfortable? I don't want to force you to do something you don't like." Maybe I went about this the wrong way.

He finally looks down at me. "No, it's not- Damnit. It's just... I'm not used to it. I don't really know what I'm supposed to do, and I'm not much of a hugger, and I don't think I'm the best person to do this for you."

My heart melts at his candor, guilt eating at me. I get up from my position. "I'm sorry, it was selfish of me. I didn't even think- I guess it's a little pathetic."

Shinsou sits up and hugs me. "It's not pathetic, don't think that way." His large hand strokes the back of my head.

I'm taken back by the sudden gesture. "Look at you, being all touchy-feely now."

"Shut up, you're obviously trying to make this work, I should put in an effort too." The tempo of his head pats slows. "Also, is it...strange that I kind of missed your warmth when you pulled away?"

Something flutters inside me as I smile to myself. "I think I've made you a believer."

"So, how did your presentation go?" Shinsou strokes my hair from behind.

His soft touches coupled with the warmth radiating from his chest on my back is a magic relaxation spell. My eyes are already closed in bliss. "Went great, especially since my group stayed up late the night before to practice like 500 times. I'm just glad it's over."

"You think you did well?"

"Yeah." I feel myself already drifting off from his hypnotic gesture.

His deep chuckle resounds in my ear. "If you were a cat, you'd be purring right now."

I snuggle closer into his chest. "I can't help it, I'm just so tired and you're putting me to sleep."

Shinsou has really warmed up to our twice a week cuddles. We thought it would be best to have a Friday night cuddle to wind down from the week and a Tuesday night cuddle to energize in the middle of the week. If either of us end up being busy one of those days, we said we can either postpone it a day or just wait until the next cuddle day, but nothing has every come up yet. It's settled very nicely into both of our routines.

He seems to enjoy it more than me sometimes, sending me eager texts or showing up early to our cuddle sessions. It's not uncommon for him to end up sleeping until morning as we embrace. It warms my heart knowing he's realized the benefits of cuddling.

"Can you turn around? My arm's about to fall asleep," Shinsou asks, and I lay on my other side, letting him fold that arm near his head and wrap the other around my torso.

Speaking of warmth, I never imagine I would feel a different kind of warmth when I'm near him. It's not the kind that comes just from the sharing of heat. It's the kind that sends tingles or goosebumps through you from just under the surface of your skin, makes you a different type of cozy, the feeling of sweetness without the taste.

Our relationship grew deeper than I think we both expected. Slowly, we've opened up to each other about deeper things we wouldn't have normally talked about. Late into the night, if we were both still awake, we would open up about out innermost thoughts, secrets, and demons.

Most importantly, I'd say it definitely improved my mood overall. Not only did it give me something to look forward to, but I feel happier. Even on nights where Shinsou ends up leaving for his own room, I'm left with an afterglow buzz, sleeping with a smile on my face for the rest of the night. Thinking about it during the day sends another wave of warmth through me. It's as if all my stress melts away when we're in each other's presence, basking in each other's scent and low breathing.

Though, there is something about cuddling Shinsou that makes me want more of him. I don't know if this is a side effect of the warmth, but I understand his eagerness to spend more time interlocked as we do. All I want to do is snuggle closer to him until there's no more space left. The afterglow of the cuddle sessions would easily be replaced with a cold emptiness, leading me to crave his touch during the day. I'm a starving child who's become a greedy glut for nourishment.

Shinsou's scent is stronger now that I'm facing him. I press my arms into his chest, allowing me to lean in closer to his neck, gradually morphing into a ball against him. I don't know how I survived without this before.

This week has been absolute shit. I'm so close to screaming at something, my lungs feel like they're going to burst. A mix of anger, self-loathing, loneliness, and melancholy bubble underneath the surface. I failed a test in one of my major science classes, I have a paper summary due sometime next week, and two written assignments due in two days. On top of all of that, as part of a pairs assignment in one of my classes, none of the "friends" signed up to be my partner. And these are the same "friends" continuing on to graduate school with me. As if that wasn't bad enough, I'd left my umbrella in my dorm and it poured rain today.

Trudging up the stairs of my dorm building, I open my door and slide my bag off my damp shoulders without moving inside. A familiar tickle in my eyes, heaviness in my chest, and overall loss of warmth in my body almost starts overtaking me.

I don't want to be along right now, I think desperately, closing the door and practically sprinting down the hall, up another flight of stairs, and finding another room. I don't care if it's not Tuesday or Friday, I can't be alone right now.

I slam the door open, thankful that he never bothers to lock it. But I turn the bolt closed.

Shinsou jumps up in surprise. He's sitting at his desk, textbooks and laptop open. I would feel bad for intruding at a time like this, but I'm too far into my feelings to care about things like shame or decency.

"What's wrong?" he looks up at me as I rush over.

I don't respond, grabbing his arm and harshly yanking him out of his seat only to throw him onto his bed. His eyes widen as I climb on top of him, one of my knees between his legs. We haven't used this position, but I just don't care. Once I collapse my head onto his chest, he audibly breathes out a sigh of relief and relaxes, settling one of his hands on top of my slightly dampened head and the other on my back. "What happened?"

His warmth and fresh scent that normally calms me right down makes me silently sob into his chest. I don't hold anything back from him; all my feelings ranging from my past mental health to my childhood quarrels with my parents to the existence of time being a curse for not being enough of it in a day burst from my lips messily. I probably sound a mix of drunk and deranged.

Shinsou doesn't say a word, only alternating between stroking my wet hair and patting my back gently, even as I make a mess of his shirt. "It's been a tough week, you deserve to rest before you even try to tackle it. Those people aren't your friends, you don't owe them anything and you shouldn't expect anything from them either. They don't deserve how great a person you are. You're doing great, trust me. You're hardworking, friendly, trustworthy. Anyone would know you're an absolute gem to be with."

His words evoke a shift in me. This warmth is different from the emotional bursts I've felt before. Hearing compliments from him hits differently.

And that's when it hit me. I'm not just greedy for his cuddles, I want Shinsou as a person. As my boyfriend.

My eyes snap open and I lift my head up. I meet his confused stare. "Do you...mean that?"

One of his eyebrows lift up. "Of course. You're amazing, why would I lie about that?"

I feel a slight rush of heat. "Would you... Do you see me... in some other way?"

He blinks once before a tint of pink coats his cheeks. "Well...maybe I do? I didn't want to say anything about it, but since you're asking, I won't hide it from you." The color saturates more. "I like these cuddles and everything, but...sometimes I think I want more of you. It's...we're already doing this whole thing together, it feels like we're already a couple." His arms constrict around me. "Sometimes, I want to hold you like this and call you...k-k-" He coughs, embarrassed of his next word. "Kitty."

My own face gets infinitely hotter as my stomach tumbles at his term of endearment.

"Y-You already nuzzle into me like one!" he adds defensively. "It's not weird, I swear!" I looks cute to see him all flustered like this.

I kiss his nose instinctively and he turns tomato red. "I think it's really cute," I mumble. "You can call me that if you want. I'll be your kitty."

Shinsou seems like he's in a panic, arms frozen as they constrict around me. "Wow... That sounds better than I thought it would," he mutters incredulously.

I chuckle. "You said that out loud, Hitoshi."

One of his large hands cups my jaw and I nuzzle against it. "My precious kitty." It rolls off his tongue so naturally. He presses a kiss on my forehead. "I'll keep you happy with my cuddles."

I smile against his touch. "Aren't you happy I showed you cuddling? Aren't they great?"

"They're the best, especially with you, Kitty."

#Shinsou x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #shinsou hitoshi #college!AU #shinsou fluff #comfort #gender neutral reader #shinsou imagine #shinsou scenario #mha shinsou #bnha shinsou #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction

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leroichevalier · 7 years

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are you going to reblog much more of adam dr/ver? because he said that he joined the army to go to iraq because "It just seemed like a badass thing to do to go and shoot machine guns and serve your country", I love your blog but I don't want to see the face of a man who thought it's badass to kill middle eastern people, my people, to "avenge" 9/11

Hey dear, first of all, thank you, I’m glad you enjoy my blog,

Second, I just read that, and I agree it’s an awful thing to say. I’m not gonna argue whether he meant it in the past “his 18 year old self thought it seemed badass” or his present self thought it was badass or not.

I don’t know if i will post more adam driver, probably. But tons of people say problematic shit all the time and I don’t see people getting asks because they post Gal Gadot who condons the colonisation of Palestine (she still does, no past tense)... And that brings me to the third point...

There are tons of actors/actresses who have been problematic and that I cannot stand, tons of characters or shows or whatever that irk the SHIT out of me. And I follow a lot of people who post that content... I feel you because as I said there are a lot of content and people and things I cannot see/read about, It makes me mad and revolts me, for personal reasons, for rational or irrational reasons, it depends.

But then I take my own responsabilities... I don’t go to people’s personal space and tell them wether or not what they post makes me feel bad/annoys me etc...I just blacklist or unfollow.

I tag literally EVERYTHING, so you can either blacklist ‘Adam Driver’ and anything that bothers you on my blog very easily, I don’t use any obscure tags either, so it’s very easy. If you find it too much for you you can also unfollow me. My point is, it’s your own job to make sure you feel good and secure by your tumblr/internet experience.

I cannot tell you how many times people have come to m askbox telling me this or that content bothers/annoys them... and I’m tired, so tired of policing myself all the damn time. I police myself and have to pretend in my life all day, everyday. Pretending I’m ok, that I’m not in depression to work/uni/with my friends, pretending I’m not falling apart when I do, always trying to stay strong because of the circumstances of my life are what they are, I have to keep up my facade of strength all the time. My blog is my little personal space where I can express my shit, post my interests (mostly history as you know, photos that make me dream and make me feel better, some fandom content I enjoy etc...), so I am sorry but I am done policing and blogging for others. This is not just about this ask, this is about every ask of the same kind that I ever received, which are a lot.

I don’t think i post problematic views, I don’t condone racism or misoginy or homophobia. I fight against it! I’m not perfect tho, I guess I do have views that offend some people... I’m just human. I liked The Last Jedi a lot and enjoyed Driver in it a lot, and I enjoyed him in other things too. So once in a while I might reblog some Adam Driver bc I enjoyed his performance or the movie, doesn’t mean I adhere to his world views or support them, I don’t.

So this long ass post to just say: we all have our limits and history that makes up what we love/hate, what we can support and what we can’t, you do you and create that safe blogging space, and I do me too, I tag my shit and sometimes I reblog someone that you cannot stand or cannot support or don’t condone etc..., like tons of the people I follow do and I cannot stand or cannot support, and I move on or I don’t and I unfollow.

I wish you the best ;)

#i just want to blog shit and no drama #but i also am done with stressing every time i post or rblog new stuff #every fucking time i'm stressed by the fact that something i post might bother someone or annoy or wathever #but no more #i'm so tired of this feeling #so i'm done #Anonymous

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jilipollo · 7 years

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Soy un vil y sucio copión de... No, espera...

Saludos seguidores y bienvenida gente que cayó aquí por los hashtags, por accidente o hasta por error :) Con esta nota probablemente me eche, como dicen por ahí, muchos “alacranes al pecho”, y quizá no todos estén de acuerdo con mi manera de ver las cosas o hasta pierda seguidores. Sin embargo, “free speech” ante todo, es mi opinión y pienso que también es válida como la de ustedes y toda la gente, además de que, pues mi blog lo considero casi el único lugar donde puedo desenvolverme y expresarme totalmente.

Quizá varios de ustedes conozcan a Yuko Shimizu, una ilustradora nipona que radica en NY. Bien, pues una vez coincidimos en una serie de cursos en Viena y los organizadores nos llevaron a varios lugares a ella y a mi, por lo que tuvimos la oportunidad de platicar e interactuar, digamos, hasta cierto punto. Eso fue terminando el año 2015. Después y por iniciativa de ella, me añadió a sus redes sociales y personales, y ocasionalmente le daba un “like” a algunos de mis trabajos y fotos. Pasó el tiempo y, recientemente, justo después del terremoto de CDMX, tenía un email en mi bandeja de entrada con su nombre. Al ver que provenía de ella, lo primero que vino a mi mente optimista fue pensar que me escribió directamente para preguntar por mi bienestar, lo cual me podría haber parecido un súper gesto amable de su parte. Sin embargo, al abrirlo, las cosas tomaron una dirección muy diferente.

Publicaré su email tal y como me lo escribió (lo dejaré en inglés, pero espero que se entienda al menos gran parte del texto para los hispanohablantes):

hi Javier, it’s been a while. Hope all is well and hope you are enjoying your summer. (or, is it always summer where you are?) So, it’s kind of awkward writing this, but after I contemplated and decided to write you anyways. I don’t like confrontation. I mean, who does? But I rather do something I hate than in future finding myself bitching to other people without ever confronting. That doesn’t seem so fair. If you agree with me and think about it, that’s cool. If you don’t, well, I hope you do, but either way is cool with me. At least, I have said what I need to be said. So, yeah. Ok, so there are many people, especially young illustrators and former students, who have gotten influences from my work. And it’s one of those rites of passage. It will eventually pass. And they move onto doing their own thing. I know this, because everyone has gone through this, I had plenty myself, whether I realized that during the phase or not. And, so, I have been following your Instagram, and I have to be honest, sometimes it weirds me out a bit. Because, I am half awake in the morning, scrolling through my phone with my tea and breakfast, and oh, wait, what did I post last night I don’t remember? And I look close, oh, it’s not mine. OK… and it’s almost always yours, to be absolutely honest. it’s been a while since I started having this feeling toward your work, and this passage does not seem to go away. Thought about talk to you about it. But I didn’t want it’s me overthinking. So, I double checked using my assistant, who colors my work and knows in and outs of my work. and she confirmed it’s not me imagining. Then I was still thinking maybe I would let it pass. Then I saw your post from today. And, I thought I really need to let you know how I feel about where your work is going. Dude, you crossed the line. Here is an image I did for Discovery Channel magazine, about ten years ago. Grabbed it from my website just now…

Again, if you agree and think things over, great. If you don’t agree with anything I mention, then what can I do? I can’t force you think the way you don’t think. But at least I said it, and it makes me feel better. All and all, what I want to say in short summery is, I think you are a very talented, young and motivated artist. I think your future would be much brighter focusing on who you are and what you do because you are you. If I get a reply from you, t’s great. If I don’t, then that’s that. No sweat. But I hope you think about what I wrote. Have a good night. Yuko

Cuando terminé de leerlo, y viniendo de alguien tan popular como ella, por supuesto que dudé de mi trabajo y me hizo sentir inseguro. De hecho nunca pensé que me fuera a escribir directamente de esta manera. Antes de publicar mi respuesta, no voy a negar que su estilo es sobresaliente y me gusta mucho su técnica, y me tomó el resto del día para meditar sobre sus palabras y mi estilo, y gracias a ello pude pensar un poco mejor las cosas, pues había puntos que no me cuadraban del todo y no estaba de acuerdo. Más que una influencia (o una copia, como insinuó ella), veo su trabajo como algo con lo que me siento identificado. Pero ese estilo de trazo -que es en lo que entiendo ella se refiere principalmente- no es propiamente ni de ella ni mío. Estaba seguro de ello, pero de todas maneras quería escuchar la opinión de alguien más. Alguien profesional y con experiencia. Entonces le pedí su opinión a una AD (directora de arte) con la que trabajé para un proyecto en el extranjero, y ciertamente también conocía el trabajo de Yuko. Me comentó que entendía la similitud hasta cierto punto, sobre todo para los que no están familiarizados con el arte japonés antiguo, específicamente el Ukyo-e (de donde ella claramente toma también sus referencias), pero que eso estaba muy distante de ser “igual” y de “copiar” su estilo. Me hizo saber que el mío ya tenía un sello propio con distinciones marcadas y maduras. Eso me relajó en verdad y me hizo confirmar lo que yo sentía con respecto a nuestros estilos, sobre todo viniendo de alguien con una opinión más objetiva y profesional, incluso a veces más que la de nosotros los ilustradores.

Bien, ahora mi respuesta a su email, la cual traté de hacer con el mayor respeto hacia ella y con palabras lo más apropiadas que pude:

Dear Yuko, It flatters me to receive an email from you. Thank you for your wishes, I hope you're enjoying your summer as well. Firstly, I'd like to say it also flatters me that you compare my work with yours. I wish I could be as good and talented as you, and I'm trying my best to be better with the time. I admire your work, but I also admire many others's work, and I think my influences comes from a variety of sources, not just one. Regarding the post of today (Tanuki). I do think this is a very particular case, and as I think it is the main point of your email, I'll try to be as clear as I can.

My client asked me to illustrate a Tanuki for a beer's label, and he wants it as it is represented in the old Japanese prints (Ukyo-e), not like the chubby amulet they have as well. I embraced the brief and got documented with images of old Japanese art that had Tanukis in them and started working on ideas, and at the end the image you saw it's what I came up with.

Básicamente hago hincapié en lo que ella notó como “la gota que derramó el vaso”: una ilustración de un Tanuki (animal perro-mapache de Japón), la cual ella notó prácticamente “igual” a una que ella hizo hace 10 años. Le comenté que utilicé la estética de un Tanuki tal y como lo representan en los grabados antiguos japoneses, no como el amuleto regordete que usan para la suerte por petición del cliente. Me documenté, como normalmente hago para el proceso de una comisión, de imágenes de referencia:

I firstly send some sketches, with different angles and compositions between each other, and the client finally got decided with one that had one bridge on the background, but he wanted something more classic, so he proposed the Fujiyama mountain (just like the Teotihuacán pyramid represents Mexico). I see why you find some similarities between that image from yours and my piece, but I don't think it's the same (the view point angle, elements and even the Tanuki are different. I agree the composition is similar, but also not the same. I just needed to illustrate one Tanuki, no more, so...). Besides, in my research I found a few Tanuki images with the Fujiyama mountain on the background, and not only these ones, but this mountain appears in a lot of Japanese prints (see some images attached I used for documentation). So I don't think that's taking the idea from your art (if that's what you thought). I don't think it's even a "coincidence" because this is a very used element in many old prints.

Mostré los primeros bocetos al cliente, y al final se colocó el monte Fuji al fondo, pues es un elemento muy clásico e incluso muchos de estos grabados tienen a esa montaña como un elemento muy representativo (como estas últimas imágenes). Le comenté que no me parecía una “copia” del suyo, aunque es cierto, la composición tiene similitud, pero hay otros elementos que me parece son muy distintos:

Mi propuesta, la cual terminada tenía que estar únicamente en tonos amarillo-mostaza

La propuesta de Yuko

Now, if you're referring to the art style and line, I'd like to express my feelings about this: Firstly, the art style was intended to be more similar as the Ukyo-e prints, so, if you compare this piece with the rest of my work, it is more accurate to these old prints than the rest of my work. Secondly, I have been influenced with the Japanese traditional line art since I was starting to draw. I saw many Ukyo-e prints and I admire them, especially the strokes. As a Japanese person that you are, it's more understandable you got your influences from your roots, and you must have seen the art from great masters like Utagawa Kuniyoshi, or Shunbaisai Hokuei, for example.

Aquí ya me involucro dentro de la conversación en el tipo de trazo, el cual intencionalmente tiende a ser similar al Ukyo-e (grabado antiguo japonés), por la naturaleza de esta comisión en específico y a petición del cliente. Y aunque en esta pieza se aprecia este tipo acabado y trazo más que en la mayoría de mis trabajos, definitivamente tengo influencia de ese estilo de arte desde que comenzaba a dibujar. Lo acepto y no hay ninguna discusión ante ello. Cuando comencé a dibujar hacía cómics (o eso intentaba), y una gran influencia en mi fue el arte del cómic “Blade of the Immortal”, de Hiroaki Samura. Él utiliza mucho de este tipo de trazo en su trabajo, y junto con una oportunidad que tuve de visitar ese lejano país y ver este arte tradicional en persona, me cautivé y desde entonces empecé a practicar con esos trazos tan característicos. Después me adentré a investigar más y conocí artistas como los que le cité a Yuko (de los cuales estoy seguro ella también tiene mucha influencia) e incluso otros:

Utagawa Kuniyoshi

Shunbaisai Hokuei

...o qué tal el trabajo de Kawanabe Kyosai?

Masters like them are the real influences of part of my work, as I'm pretty sure some of these great masters are a big influence of yours as well. So my point is, with all due respect, this kind of art and line comes from far beyond and from many other artists, not just from the style you use. Of course, everybody can take part of it and adapt to one's way of feel and our own way to see things, and I think that's what I also do as well.

Como mencionaba, este tipo de línea y trazo viene de mucho atrás y de varios otros artistas, no solo del estilo que ella maneja.

By the way, I never saw that Tanuki image from you before. If you believe me or not, well, I cannot decide that.

...y por cierto, y hablando honestamente, la imagen que me adjuntó de su Tanuki fue la primera vez que la veía. Y si ella me cree o no, bueno, no puedo decidir eso.

I totally agree with you, I don't like confrontation (if it's not in a good way), but it's good and healthy to talk about this. I'd like to share one of my first illustrations I did many years ago with you (2006-2007...), where I think I was even more influenced by this Ukyo-e style. Then I discovered your work after a few years and I really loved it! One of the first images I saw in your work was a geisha holding a ghetto blaster, just like this image I made of this geisha. I thought it was so cool to find somebody that like that sort of things as well. But that was that. What would you think if you see this image now Yuko?

Le compartí esta imagen que hice hace poco más de 10 años, donde pienso que estaba aún más influenciado por el estilo Ukyo-e, y después de algunos años descubrí su trabajo. ¡Y me encantó!

Una de mis primeras ilustraciones para la revista “Migala”

Una de las primeras imágenes que vi de ella fue una geisha sosteniendo una ghetto blaster (grabadora grande de los 80′s). Pensé que era muy cool encontrar a alguien que hiciera ese tipo de cosas también, pero eso fue todo.

Me pregunto qué hubiera pensado Yuko si viera esa pasada imagen que hice hoy en día..

Of course you became part of my influences, but I also have many others's work influences, as I previously mentioned (many occidental and from old artists as well). I also'd like to remind you there are many artists that have been influenced by the Ukyo-e, not just me and you. What about Jed Henry? Or my colleague Agarwen ? I personally think they're fantastic!

Como mencioné, ella me inspiró e influenció de alguna manera, aunque más bien lo veo como una influencia progresiva a lo que ya traía yo, pero mis influencias van más allá de solo un acabado, sobre todo hoy en día. Y nosotros dos no somos los únicos que “utilizamos” este acabado Ukyo-e, como quizá ella piensa. Le cité a un par de ilustradores que conozco (uno es un colega y amigo paisano), aunque hay más allá afuera con estilos muy parecidos. ¡Y me parecen geniales!

Jed Henry

Agarwen

If I see somebody else's work that is similar as mine, I'd be very glad to know in some way my work has influenced his/her work, not the opposite, but that's only me and doesn't has to be like that with everybody. I'd like to think you wrote your email for a good cause and to help me find my path, and if so, I really appreciate it. And I'd like to be clear on something: I'm not "betraying" myself and my way of thinking and feeling. This is truly who I am, and I have been working on developing my skills from time ago. It just doesn't make sense to me to pretend to be someone's else so I wouldn't be making this work and this wouldn't work at all.

Lo siguiente es uno de los puntos que me parece que es donde vemos las cosas muy distinto, pero respeto su opinión y manera de pensar. Si yo supiera que alguien más tiene un estilo similar al mío, me llenaría de satisfacción y gratitud saber que de alguna manera mi trabajo lo/la influyó, no lo contrario. Vamos, ¿a quién lo le gustaría saberlo? Y quiero pensar que ella me escribió ese email para “ayudarme a encontrar mi camino”, pero evidentemente esa no era la intención. Y no me considero que llegué a la cima con mi trabajo, pero creo que ya llevo cierto camino recorrido en esto, y si que me ha costado obtenerlo.

If my work and updates bothers you or makes you feel uncomfortable and want me to stop doing it, then the answer is no. I make this for a living and really enjoy doing it, just as I think you do. So I am sorry, but I think I have the same right as everybody else to post them. I wish I could help but I just cannot do that Yuko. I hope someday you enjoy seeing my work and know you're still an influence to me as many others and be happy with it, not to bothers you. Or, just unfollow me.

Como ella y como todos, creo que tengo derecho a publicar mi trabajo en mis redes. Y como le hice saber, si mi trabajo y actualizaciones le molestan o le hacen sentir incómoda y busca que deje de publicarlas, entonces la respuesta es no. Espero que un día le agrade ver mi trabajo en lugar de molestarle, o bien, siempre puede dejar de seguirme.

You still have a friend here in Mexico Yuko, all the best for you and have a good night. I hope my english was good enough to express myself properly. Javier

Hasta aquí pude haber dejado las cosas, no pensaba publicar esto pues no veía realmente el caso y seguía teniéndole respeto, pero justo después de esto, vi una publicación en su facebook donde comenta de este caso y que soy “creepy”, que hago lo mismo que ella, que la “he estudiado demasiado” y hasta “le copio igual los vídeos de procesos”. Vaya, eso me pareció de lo más inapropiado y poco profesional de su parte. ¿De que otra forma puedo hacer vídeos entonces? Prácticamente todos los ilustradores que toman vídeos lo hacen igual: filman una pequeña toma de su obra mientras la trabajan. ¿Qué esperaba que hiciera? Eso, con el perdón de sus fans, me parece muy ególatra de su parte. Y a continuación no solo me deja de seguir, sino que además me bloqueó de sus redes sociales. ¡WTF! Parece que ella buscaba una respuesta de mi parte cuando me escribió su email, lo cual hice respetuosamente, pero ella no quiso responderme el mío y reacciona de esta manera. No es que tenga que ser como yo quiera, pero creo que al menos por respeto me hubiera respondido con un “no estoy de acuerdo”, o un “sabes qué, estoy de acuerdo” o la respuesta que sea, como yo se la di, pero que me diga algo. Pero simplemente me ignoró. Vaya decepción. Entonces, ahora me siento con libertad de escribir y publicar esto.

Y ya que estamos en esto, ¿qué piensan de esta obra de ella comparada a la de otro ilustrador llamado James Jean (quien la realizó antes), y bajo el mismo tema “AIDS” (sida)? Aquí huele un poco a hipocresía...

James Jean- Aids

Yuko Shimizu - Aids

*Actualización: un amigo colega hizo notar esta otra pieza del ilustrador “El Moreno” comparado con otra que hizo posteriormente ella

Me gustaría que las cosas no terminaran así y que eventualmente podamos hablar claramente ella y yo, sin que se escude con sus miles de seguidores. Que por cierto, el hecho de que sea muy popular no necesariamente le hace tener razón en todo lo que dice ni tengo que estar de acuerdo con ella ciegamente. Creo que la fortuna de haber recibido ya varios premios en ilustración y que recientemente quedé dentro de “Los 10″ de Latin American Illustration 6 en NY -y nunca había quedado antes y me llena de emoción-, de alguna manera avala mi trabajo y mi punto. Y estoy seguro que en todos los anuales donde salgo elegido conocen el trabajo de Yuko Shimizu.

Dispensen lo largo de esta publicación, traté de no prolongarme tanto pero se me pasó un poco la mano. ¡Ups! Y si llegaste hasta aquí, vaya, pues entonces supongo fue interesante o morboso mi post.

Quiero agradecerles y como siempre, estoy encantado de leer sus comentarios, quisiera saber sus opiniones objetivas (estoy listo para los madrazos) :) Atte.: Jilipollo el que siempre copiaba en los exámenes. Los dejo con esta rola noventera: “Come original”

P.D. Si hubiera alguien afectado o molesto aquí, pienso que ése quizá debería ser yo, porque Yuko es mucho más popular, por lo que la gente pensaría que yo siempre sería “el que copia” ese estilo y sería mi cruz. Eso sería algo injusto para mi, pero realmente no importa. Por el contrario, quiero tomar todo esto que viene de ella como un gran cumplido.

#illustrator #ilustrador #ilustración #illustration #javier medellin puyou #Jilipollo #jilipolloillustrator #yuko shimizu

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amonsaiqaxiv · 7 years

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GROWTH & GRATITUDE

When Heavensward launched I was in a pretty awkward point in-game. I wasn’t entirely too invested in XIV or in MMO’s in general. The group I played with was a mix of old-school MMO WoW veterans and die-hard FF fans. I wasn’t exactly mechanic savvy nor too enthralled in the lore behind this game. I was put in a weird spot, to say the least. I couldn’t help but feel out of place with both the friends I had and the giant community sprawled out before me. It took...countless fucking hours of throwing my head against content, seeking guidance from other players, and fighting against my own ignorance to get comfortable playing this game. Around that time, I had also stumbled across the XIV community here on Tumblr through a friend. Our community is a vast fucking place and I felt extremely overwhelmed at first. Like, I can barely interact with people in-game as it is, man. I had no clue how things worked on this end. However, one thing I was quickly able to latch onto were screenshot edits. I’d had....many...many years of experience with this concept back when I was roleplaying (on Myspace of all things). It was after this little rediscovery that I found my niche here and the rest of it is pretty self-explanatory. Fast forward two(ish) years later and things have changed. I love this damn game guys, I really do. Being able to experience new content, striving to improve both job and player skill is such a damn thrill for me. I’m confident in what I can offer as a player and I’m constantly excited for new opportunities to grow.

As for this blog, oh man...I never in a million years expected this to be where it’s at today. I really just used this blog to selfishly post screenshots and fuck man....the response has just been so overwhelmingly wonderful.

Look, I’ve never been particularly good at expressing my feelings, ESPECIALLY not through writing. Things come a bit more naturally through speech but most of the time? I keep to myself outside of my small circles and even then I tend to internalize my anxieties onto myself. It’s tough conveying my thoughts into words since my mind tends to race around. However, despite these difficulties, one thing that’s always come naturally to me is the ability to express gratitude. I am so damn thankful to those of you who have had a hand in helping me grow both as a player and as a member of this community. So before we trudge off into expansion, I wanted to draft something up to commemorate the time I’ve spent with each of you:

Thank you to everyone I’ve met within or because of @theriskbreakers : @sylvan-rain @onwesterlywinds @crimson-bull @thefateofivalice @a-kelping-hand @moonlifter @safestsephiroth @thecat-inthehat @afflatus-solace @reflectionsofacreator @quartercirclejab @the-goggles-lizard @wandererspaean @ivaan-ffxiv @tovakiin @zulak-rah @jenesislabariel @twelvesavethequeen @wyranimh @cogflox @varae-ver-you-are (I’m sure I’m missing tons more, sorry.)

Seriously, guys, it’s been a while since I first stumbled through the Sandsea’s doors but it’s been a blast. Thank you for always making things feel at home despite the fact that RP isn’t really my thing. Whether we’re blitzing through content or goofing off in chat it’s been wonderful and I can’t wait to see what Stormblood has to offer for us.

Thank you to my raid static for 3.X: @khojin-arulaq @sessionzeroart @evrett

Though frustrating at times, raiding with you all was overall an experience I wouldn’t trade for the world. It’s such a unique feeling when shit got challenging and we still managed to pull through. I’m grateful to you guys for what we did and value the friendships we made throughout.

Thank you to @zenathered @kukurubean @foewreckem @korpokkur-kid @yaianse (and the whole turtle crew really) as well as @fatewalker @nyxastra @coeurlfist for being great enough to show off how awesome people on other servers can be. It’s been fun befriending each of you either through tumblr or whenever you nerds decide to log onto your respective alts.

Thank you to @ladyrivienne @ferai-caolann @lavenderrpurr @manawalls @alannah-corvaine @abalathian @qarajin-borlaaq for being some of the downright best art motivation I’ve got. I’m pushing myself to improve constantly whenever any of you create something. It’s inspirational and that drive to improve you’ve given me is a debt I could never repay.

Thank you to @sins-of-allag @ayyymeric @aether-eyes @dayst-ffxiv @lauranis @lunae-lux @xaruun @invisiblebounds-ffxiv @fair-fae @lance-of-fury @tetenuko @tiergan-vashir @freshorenjuice @aethericseafarer @nightmaze @necrologos @sequoiaofeorzea @gaeliseeker @nalukaixiv @pygmaioi for a myriad of reasons between all of you. Thank you for being super supportive of both myself and the blog. For lending out a helping hand (or keeping my head out of my ass) and just for being good friends in and out of game.

Thank you to @mahnsturr @raelcsart @yalakid @dantroziman @doorway-through @fainfaineant for all the fun I’ve had with each of you in GRIMM. Thank you for all the great art of Amon and thank you so much Rae for taking care of my Alex’s ass. <3

THANK YOU TO MY MOTHERFUCKING DISCORD: @haila-wetyios @luma-lee @naveiasue @lyriahkarnelle @sharlayan-scholar @desertsaffron FOR PUTTING UP WITH ALL THE UNADULTERATED BAT-SHIT CRAZY NONSENSE THAT OCCURS IN THERE EACH DAY. It gets absolutely fucking wild sometimes in Unlimited Chat Works and I am fucking blessed that you guys still manage to put up with my bullshit. Whether we’ve been friends since the beginning or you’re just now realizing how crazy we are in there thank you. I love you guys with all my fucking heart and I have so much fun every single day in there with each of you.

Thank you, @koidrakevice you fucker for so, so, much. For all the times we’ve spent late at night theory-crafting, grinding, researching, just...playing XIV. None of this would have happened if you hadn’t gotten me back into the game. I’ve grown so much because of you and being able to do content our way with you and Douglas is genuinely the thing I look forward to the most in Stormblood. Thank you, buddy, for being one of the best friends I’ve ever had and for playing XIV with me. It means more than you know and more than I’ll ever fucking admit because fuck you.

Thank you always, @fishtailsushi I love you the world over and playing XIV together with you is something I’ll remember for the rest of our lives. You’ve grown so much in this game and in many aspects, you’re a far better player than I am. Thank you for continuing to stand with me and in making memories with all of our crazy friends. Thank you for pushing me to do better and supporting me through all of my doubts in-game and in real life. I love you poop, and thank you.~

Finally... thank you to everyone who’s been a part of the journey thus far. I’m not sure where things will end up in Stormblood, but I can promise you that I’m going to continue to improve, both as a player and a member of this crazy community. So if you’ve made it this far, take to heart that regardless of our differences, we’re all in this together. Fuck whatever discourse may pop up and just try to have fun and focus on all the good around you because as you can see, this place full of love, you’ve just got to open yourself up to it.-

Take care, and I’ll see you in Stormblood.

Patrick Amon.

#FFXIV #Balmung #Warning: It's gonna be a long one #with tons of tags but..yeah.#also swearing lots of that #I'm sorry mobile people I'm gonna take over your feed. |D #bury me with my sappy ass rant one final time

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noentiendo-nada · 6 years

Text

NOTES 2018

January 1, 2018

Esta fue LA MEJOR MICA DE MI VIDA

/beyond

Everything is different but everything is good (?)

NICARAGUA 🌈

Doodles

Sabe?

Claaaaaro que sí

A la gran puta (acento nica)

Reinas del sur

Miguel el poeta

Yader

Coronando

El video de Adri emergiendo

Caro llorando

Ale abejón de mayo

"Pues no, no te voy a desear feliz Navidad ni feliz año nuevo...

Yo te deseo coraje para decir basta, te deseo que olvides a quien se olvidó de ti, te deseo que puedas cerrar puertas y abrir ventanas, te deseo que no te conformes, que no te quedes con la culpa, te deseo que te atrevas, te deseo que te quieras, te deseo ojeras y risas, te deseo locura y magia, también te deseo errores para aprender, te deseo viento para dejarte llevar, te deseo chispas en la mirada, colores para los días grises, paraguas para las malas tormentas y lluvia para calarte, te deseo "te echo de menos", te deseo abrazos de los que duran toda la vida cuando cierras los ojos, te deseo viajes y nuevos recuerdos, te deseo huracanes de emociones que te hagan sentir, te deseo que te quieran sin que te necesiten, te deseo una nueva canción favorita y una nueva fecha que te haga sonreír, te deseo besos bonitos, brindis con los labios y te deseo ganas... las de seguir".

January 19, 2018

Hay promesas demasiado faciles de cumplir.. manda huevo

January 21, 2018

San blas san blas no te me abogues que no gay mas

El que inventa paga la cuenta

Mi blog de WEED:

Tendencia a ir hacia abajo

Limpiar la pipa

Hacer un joint

Puro con inflAdor de colchones

Rifas

Fotos

# de joint

Pipas

Pellis

///////////

De la nada se sacaba un gallo y seguia grabando el audio

Usaba el mismo sweater todo el mes

Mocos

Escupir

Despeinado

Bigotini

Espinillas y clavillos jajajaja

Calientito

Suavecito

Nuca linda

Cosas que se me han olvidado y despues me acuerdo y pienso y mae 😍😍 pero tambien y mae 💔💔 como se me habia olvidado

Como cobijarme antes de dormir y dejarme acostada

Llamada todo el camino hasta llegar a tu casa

Mac express

Tio Dani

Poses de parasito (ves.. no me acuerdo de la palabra jajaja pero algo como parasito)

Escarabajo?

GARRAPATA jajaj ❤️❤️❤️

Helado de chicle

Hashbrown

Chalupas con natilla

Queso light

Una pilsen y una imperial light.. es diferente contigo

Seguimos sin bailar porque entre nosotros nada ha cambiado

Y eso es algo bueno!!

...Creo

I will love you in silence and i will wait

Era esto:

and when you need to sit & stare out the window in silence i will love you quietly & i will wait

HASTA PRONTO. Or not. Pero see you in dreamland

January 22, 2018

Querer ver a alguien todos los dias

Mi version (para avi)

La version de dani (para mi)

Es decir, a avi yo no lo quería ver todos los días, and you should be with someone who can’t ever get enough of you

/////

AVI: Me encantó, tanto asi que lo puse en mi cuadernillo:

"Para terminar una gran semana"

Lo demas no lo voy a escribir porque es un recuerdo que quiero guardar en mi cabeza pero bueno... gracias por todo

January 23, 2018

"Tu nisiquiera me amas"

Aaaarrrwwewwdrrrrr

Besos guareros

Paco y lola

Booster y los cds

Carro de mama

Rompiste la promesa

‘i wish there was a way to know you were in the good old days before you’ve actually left them’ -andy bernard

promesas demasiado fáciles de cumplir

Extrañaba que me mandaras cosas graciosas por instagram ds 9gag y paginas de weed

Strong healthy tan

Chop your own wood and it will warm you twice

Learning to balance things is a constant in life

Making time has really been key..

Along with dumping all respondabilities and heading to the ocean

January 24, 2018

Everything you need to be contented is right here right in this minute

You can have it when you understand that all that matters is right here

Creo que ayer medio borracha le tire linea a una guila por primera vez en mi vida

La concha es mi bar favorito

❤️ disjointed ❤️

Informandome (informese - enterese)

Wasted so much time should be a fucking crime

I wanna be your end game

end game, first string, A Team, end game, end game

high above the whole scene, loves me like im brand new 💕

So Call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to

"Despite those on the outside casting their judgemental glaces her way, she's completely satisfied with where she's at and who she's with"

He built a fire just to keep me warm

Trust him like a brother yeah you know i did one thing right

Starry eyes sparking up my darkest night

Not because he owns me, but cause he really knows me

Which is more than they can say

"You can respect yourself and still be in a caring, loving relationship"

Yo SI que la he pasado bien

"She again explains that she's doing fine on her own, but despite that, she still wants to be with him"

"Emphasizes the call to others outside observers that their opinion about her relationship truly doesn't matter"

She will not only climb mountains - she will move them too

No sé por qué uno no podía poner en instagram algo como: ay dani TE AMO TANTO!!!! Gracias por hacerme reír tanto, la pasé INCREÍBLEEEEEE. El mejor compañero! Cheers to you 💕

Ah si, porque se vería demasiado caído. Por fucking orgullo. Fuckig fucking fucking orgullo

Daniel me enseño a decir "mix"

Ese dia nos pegamos una mica tan heavy que no me acuerdo como llegamos a la casa. Le mande a dani unos mensajes como "hey, puedes venir a mi xuarto? Tengo preguntas" (COZUMEL)

Voy a buscar ss jaja pero bueno en fin, un dia de estos estaba viendo fotos y pense Y MAE ya se que hicimos toda la noche jaja TOMARNOS FOTOS.. wow podria hacer todo un video de ese día

January 26, 2018

La primera vez que fume fue con emi

Movienight y papa johns - llorar - me lo imaginé así

El video de "mi novio me maquilla" - me lo imaginé así

Two sides to every story

makes me go !!!! Inside

Jaahvila

Soy tan diferente ahora 🌈

Vocabulario de douchebag:

perdida

odiosa

Mirá quien apareció

Te odio

usted siempre me patea

querés chicle?

Vos que te perdés

Acciones douchebag

Snaps comunales

quitar el cinturón

Hugo kush (la weed que se lleno de colonia)

El olor a alcohol no me va a dejar desmayar nunca (avila cuando yo estaba de goma)

January 30, 2018

Creo demasiado en vos

❤️

February 1, 2018

I hope our love is the kind that is quiet on the outside but loud on the inside. I want to love you like the space between lightning and thunder- electrified and alive but silent and knowing. And I want to love you like the clouds love the rain. Youre going to have to let me go on my own sometimes, but I will always come back and we will always be two parts of the same thing.

“I go to bed alone, and I wake up alone. Knowing this no longer bothers me.

I’ve made friends with my loneliness. It has showed me how to explore myself. I am still foreign to most of my limbs.

[…]

I can look at a picture of you now without cringing […]

The print of your lips will always be a permanent part of my skin. But they were right when they said that a scar like that would be something you would grow so used to, you wouldn’t even remember that it was there.”

February 13, 2018

writing is safer, somehow

because my pen cannot stutter like my lips do,

and words get stuck in throats,

not fingertips, can’t stumble

on paper trails of blue lines

because writing is definite and clear

and no one can tell if i am crying

or laughing

through written words alone

Watching you pretend you’re unaffected

February 14, 2018

The world is too big and i have too much to offer

I think we both recognized that what really mattered to us wasn’t something you could buy

si soy flexible no me quiebro

I guess in the end it comes down to

“Si tengo alguien con quien hacerlo, ¿por que lo haria sola?”

February 16, 2018

Bueno mi amor, muy bonita actitud tuya y muy bonitas palabras te las agradezco. Me gusta que trates por todos los lados de que haya una buena relacion y que sos capaz de arreglar las cosas y hablar, de verdad que te felicito. He notado un cambio muy positivo en vos ultimamente me encanta

❤️❤️❤️❤️🌈🌈🌈😍😍😍🍕🍕

aveces pienso Y MAE esto tiene que ser una broma. NO PUEDE SER que yo la esté pasando tan bien

Muy adentro del mar, todos sentados en las tablas esperando las olas, en el atardecer.... todo verde, el mar demasiado azul, la playa anaranjada. Nunca pensé que iba a ver esa imagen con mis propios ojos saben?

I am mine

Before i am ever anyone else’s

February 21, 2018

what i learned from my mistakes is that i have plenty more to make 🌈

This woman that i’m becoming gives me chills

Woman????? Wait whaaaaat

February 23, 2018

hoy vi demasiadas mantarrayas saltando cerquísima!! en serio no entiendo nada!!! gracias Dios gracias mar gracias vida 🌈

February 25, 2018

Avila: Como esTu relacion con el?

No he enfrentado auenesta vez el me pateo a mi y me dolio (dani)

February 26, 2018

Cosas que quiero hacer sola:

Bad Moms Navidad🌪

Peliculas y palomitas en mi cuarto 💘

Comprar mi pipa rosada🌈

Leerme turtles all the way down 😇

Cortarme el pelo

Hacerme las uñas😇

Inter (ejercicio y sol)

Pompones💘

ATRDECERES ❤️

Aprender a surfear😍

Escribir 🌈

Libro de pintar🤙🏽

Ir al planetario

Atardecer en el edificio de parqueos

Papalote en jaco

Aprender a enrolar😋

Comprarme un grinder?🔥💧 bueno no

Estudiar jej💥

Mandarle mensajes a mis amigas diciendoles que las amo 🌈🌈🌈

March 3, 2018

me vas a hacer mucha falta, como siempre

en serio no me quiero ir jaja. nunca quise

10/9

/////

y si.. gracias a Dios he tenido demasiada suerte con la gente que he conocido en la u

siempre he estado rodeada de gente vacilona y tuanis y siempre me dan historias que contar

como que ha formado mucho mi personalidad también supongo lo de siempre andar con hombres y con todo lo de kris y nicky y alejarme de mucha gente ha sido muy tuanis encontrar como buenísimos reemplazos y gente con quien compartir mi tiempo y mi vida

en serio me siento super dichosa

es una parte muy chiva y hace que toda la parida de la u y los trabajos no se como que sean mas fáciles y placenteros jajaja

ademas de que es gente que me entiende con lo estudiosa que soy y asi. la gente de afuera no sabe lo que es porque no lo ha vivido jajajaj

encambio todos nosotros como que compartimos una misma vibra JAJA

de estudio y entregar toda la vida a la u y prioridades e igual sacar tiempo para lo demás

no se es tuanis si me gusta mucho en serio estoy muy contenta con la gente con la que me he topado 😊

y si!! ha sido un año de demasiado crecimiento y aprendizaje y de independizarme de muchas cosas como esas amigas, salir del comfort zone, decidir quien quiero ser y adonde voy con mi vida

siento que ya se adonde estoy parada y hacia adonde voy

soy muy determinada con mis cosas

estoy contenta la verdad me siento como orgullosa de todo lo que he aprendido como que i tried to make the most of la situación

“las ales”: ogre estudiosa, alejo (ale pegada), ale hablantina, ale amorosa, ale chineada, la ale chichosa ... (las amo a todas) jajajaja

March 4, 2018

You look so small tonight

How'd you get away so many miles

perdón tengo que seguir escribiendo estas cosas cuando pasan jajajaja eso si es parte de lo que soy

You're not alone

You're just too far for me to hold

y justo es de Chelsea Cutler, la de Your Shirt

Kidjswaste - More Color

los “no me pasa nada” que gritan “me pasa todo”

lo quiero, no lo quiero

el “me quiere no me quiere” no es lo mío

March 5, 2018

my very first breakup rule: destroy all pictures where he looks sexy and you look happy

breakup rule number two: LIE. it’s a lot easier than admitting why you invited the new yankee and why you maxed out your credit card to buy the new dress

well, you know men, they can never say “i was wrong”, they just send flowers

March 6, 2018

“I never settled for this life. I created it. I continued to look at the places within and without that made me feel more alive than before. Even when it hurt and I thought I couldn’t go on, I kept looking for the lessons and blessings in every moment. “

hola mujeres de mi vida

literalmente jajaj - jose <3

LOS AMO TANTO A ELLOS

March 9, 2018

how do you trust your feelings when they can just disappear like that?

you know when a song comes on and you just gotta dance:

i am so out of love with you i have nothing left to give

March 11, 2018

Lista de blackouts??...way too many

Dia de hattrick (mon, gato, conrad)

Dia de marce mayorga, fabian, atu y EW felipe sanabria asco asco asco

fiesta de monse monge que patie a tebi

Atardecer con judios y fiesta de balto

Cumpleaños de maria (17?)

En punta una vez fui a la disco en vestido de baño jajajajajajaja

la vez que perdí mi celular en la calle y me apriete a chris

pool party de emi fuck

el dia que me âpreté a rolando castro ew

things that should be asked often in every type of relationship:

how is your heart?

is your breath happy here?

do you feel free?

March 13, 2018

a mi mamá por los permisos, a mi papá por las cenas, a Yoga Feels por el mood, a emi por decirme “pura mierda”, fue el impulso que necesitaba, a la UCR por todo, wow, todo, a mis amigas por los paseos increíbles, a mis amigos por las buenas habladas, a Dios por los atardeceres, a andrés por la paciencia y por “vamos a dejar el cerebro afuera”, a Marley, a Jacó por la experiencia, a mi carro por tanto, a las olas, a los helados, las piscinas, el cine, el mar, el sol, los árboles, las fotos, las tardes de yoga,

y a mí. demasiadas gracias a mí misma por todo lo que aprendí y logré en estos tres meses.. siento que soy otra persona

gracias vacaciones ❤️

a McDonald’s y a la g, a ga y camacho por los dates,

////

why are we drifting away from everything we wanted to save?

it's old news, i SHOULD look for better

falling back to strangers,

leave me hanging on

flare guns go off in my head saying NOT to call you this late, still i dial those numbers — every time —

whyyyyy do I replay those messages that you left at the tone last may??????????????

slowly wishing you were never mine

(do i????)

i wanna know what's the deal

where have you been (!!!!!) and what do you think of me?

is there a new girl silently screaming your name? (is there?)

see, I DON’T know better than to GIVE UP on loving

WHY am I still holding on ?????

and I'm way too honest and YOU MAKE ME WANT IT

lying alone all night long,

ALONE

all night long

/////

9:04 pm y estoy recién bañada, con mi candelilla que huele rico encendida, lista para acostarme a ver series y untarme cremas: de cara, de pies, de cuerpo, después de la crema anticelulitis.

hoy hice balance, luego camine con marley, yoga, mas caminata, mas balance.

getting my shit together

feels good

no fumo desde el.. sábado? y eso no cuenta jajajaja

viernes que fui al cine pegada fue la ultima vez bien

i’m doing fiiiineeee!!!!

March 25, 2018

el viernes salí (AL FIN, después de añoooooosss de castigo), por el cumple de caro, y andaban fa y juli, caro y paul, arias y maite. y me puse toda :( mimimi quiero a mi novio

jajaja yo amo a daniel, por siempre, pero en serio creo que amo mas a la idea de daniel que a el o como el me hacia sentir, yo se que depende del día y del mood pero tengo tantos “entries” puteada y feeling insignificante, que no existía, que no contaba. eso de dejarme morir para ver amigos, mentirme, demasiada inmadurez.. la verdad también sufre mucho y eso no es romántico. STOP ROMANTICIZING HEARTBREAK. es una PICHA. get over it and move on and RUN

It’s 12:32 am and I’m wrestling clean and beautiful sheet onto my queen sized mattress. My favorite ring, my rupee ring is stuck on my left middle finger and I’m thinking of you.

You.

I can’t find a hair tie, and there’s a knot in my chest. I think about you and I worry my bottom lip with my teeth. Then attempt to tame my hair.

I doubt all of what others believe in love. I lay in bed and move my legs in tandem and alone. I’m trying to find a place that feels right.

I want to feel right, day and night and night and day.

I rub across my eyes with a closed fist and I think of the mascara that rubs off on my hand. It’s dark and I can’t see anything but the vague outlines of my life.

I think of you. My tongue is bitter under the toothpaste I use every night. I think of your hands.

I roll over and try to close my eyes. I think of tomorrow, or a week from now.

I think about all the yesterdays.

I think of me.

I think of me and I smile.

i’m not ashamed

love is large and monstrous

you’re an astronaut already anyway

she’ll kiss you where it hurts and until it hurts

fight for them and let them fight for you

——————————

It is pretty to be in love. It’s magical, I’m sure. But it’s also wonderful to stop for ice cream in your prom dress with six other girls. It’s also wonderful to go visit the world with nothing but a bunch of buddies who are really excited about learning.

The problem is: we’ve made everything about “the one”. But maybe “the one” is just you, loving yourself, having fun, and being happy. Maybe instead of looking for our other halves, we should be piecing ourselves together.

Maybe I wasn’t born unfinished. Maybe I am the one who makes myself better."

- Single serving size // r.i.d (via inkskinned)

——————————

how strange is it that after all that

we are strangers again

and i’m sorry i left

but it was for the best

though it never felt right

You keep saying sorry, as if another one will relieve or erase what’s done. You don’t need to keep apologizing, constantly reminding me of your selfish ways and absentmindedness.

And here we are again in the middle of the night, whispering secrets and laughing, talking and staring into each other’s eyes, and you don’t get to do that. You don’t get to make me happy another night to have me walk home alone tomorrow.

"I don’t miss you in fact I haven’t missed you in a long while

but I miss; having my neck kissed in the morning

waking up to a hand on my stomach pulling me back breathing on my ear kisses on my mouth pushing me against a wall laughing in bed and smiles against my collarbone I miss closing my eyes sleeping to the lullaby of having someone there and rainy days on the couch legs tangled and popcorn scattered on the floor

and I don’t miss you and your skewed I am sorrys and kissing the problems away as if you can clean your mistakes I don’t miss sleeping to the heartbreak of you resting heavy on my chest

and your lies waking me tired in mornings that startled me lost

darling I have not missed you in a good long while

but I miss being wanted so badly; skin squeezed tight and my name on someone’s breath like it’s final, done

I am missing being loved but I am not missing being loved by you."

- I am ready to love again l Genefe Navilon (via letters-to-the-sea)

i died for you one time but never again

I used to be sad for so many months now I smile when I cry. I smile when I cry. some nights I take off my clothes and slip under the sheets without setting my alarm clock. some nights my bed reminds me that I’m small and vulnerable.

everywhere you look you see delicate wrists and soft curves. everywhere you look you see ripped pages and ink stains. I’m that messy beautiful that not everyone knows how to love, the flower that wilts when you touch it.

I’m that messy beautiful that you want to love but you’re just not sure how to.

‘I Don’t Know What I Did But It Worked’ — A thrilling story about my academic life

when it feels scary to jump

that’s exactly when you jump

otherwise you just end up staying at the same place your whole life

and that i can’t do

"Suddenly you’re 21 and you’re screaming along in the car to all the songs you listened to when you were sad in middle school and everything is different but everything is good."

(via bl-ossomed)

I can’t wait for this

(via loxvinglys) — IT’S FINALLY HEREEEEEE

YEAHHH

"So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, then drop it. You’re just afraid to let go of the last bits of him because then you’ll be really alone, and you’re scared to death of what will happen if you’re really alone. But here’s what you gotta understand. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this guy, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open spot – a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with the doorway? It will rush in – God will rush in – and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using that boy to block that door. Let it go."

- Eat, Pray, Love (Elizabeth Gilbert)

"I am trying to see things in perspective. My dog wants a bite of my peanut butter chocolate chip bagel. I know she cannot have this, because chocolate makes dogs very sick. My dog does not understand this. She pouts and wraps herself around my leg like a scarf and purrs and tries to convince me to give her just a tiny bit. When I do not give in, she eventually gives up and lays in the corner, under the piano, drooping and sad. I hope the universe has my best interest in mind like I have my dog’s. When I want something with my whole being, and the universe withholds it from me, I hope the universe thinks to herself: “Silly girl. She thinks this is what she wants, but she does not understand how it will hurt."

- THEORIES ABOUT THE UNIVERSE by Blythe Baird (via shroomfairy)

"And suddenly, she missed him. She missed him from the apex of her beating heart to the base of her chest, and it was a numbing kind of miss, like a piece of her had been taken away but she didn’t know what.

It was the kind of miss where she sat there thinking about what had been lost and how she could get it back; the kind that stayed with her and resurfaced every once in a while.

She wasn’t crying though; it wasn’t that kind of miss. He wasn’t coming back, she thought, and perhaps that was for the best. But this didn’t stop her from wanting to pick up the phone to see how he was doing. It didn’t stop her from wanting to hear his voice again, even if it wasn’t saying much, and if it had been an hour later or she’d had a few more glasses of wine, she probably would have dialled his number.

As it was, however, she found herself curling into a ball and placing a hand on the quiet thud beneath her ribs. Could you ever miss someone enough to bring them back? She thought. Perhaps, came the answer. But not tonight. Not tonight."

March 28, 2018

Dios por qué me he alejado tanto

March 31, 2018

Que raros son los besos en el cachete cuando las bocas ya se conocen tan bien jaja

scratch my back or do the little skin trace thing

April 2, 2018

que pena ese día de la cali quien sabe como estaba bailandote en serio estaba tan tapiz

deli

que tuanis es perrear jajaja

mejor duermo con camisa (ale allon)

April 3, 2018

dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you

is it too soon to do this yet?

cause i know that it’s delicate

isn’t it isn’t it isn’t it

(AARON)

April 7, 2018

seque estas cosas si no las escribo no me acuerdo

y me quiero acordar

no fumo desde el sábado que fume con fa charlie y juli (<3 inos los amo que risa, le dimos cartas, beerpong, comimos fuimos por mcflunrrys yo casi me muerooooo fue demasiado pesado jajajaja)

bueno si

SPOTLESS MIND y hay otra de jhene aiko que me gusto mucho

desde entonces no fumo porque dave me ha quedado mal y CORRALES TAMBIEN jajaj putos los odio!! no mentira los amo jajaj pero ugh ayer viernes sin salir y sin fumar sias tontooo que tigra jajajaj

en fin acaba de venir corrales al fin ( #1, con WEED, al FIN, y #2 con una GALLETA DE STARBUCKS PARA MI. okay. por que no me lo aprete en ese momento?? eee digo que?

es broma obvio

omg allie michelle esta conectada escuchando música!! que jeta que uno se va de risa con la gente famosa y es como parte del día de uno ver lo que ellos hicieron, Gypsyon es una profe de yoga que era como drogadicta y salir de ahi.. no se me parece demasiado tuanis

bueno si, maes que ligan con munchies >>>>

(y que fuman)

(y que me dan marihuana) jajajaja

soy una pe ga da

que feliz estoy de volver a fumar jajajajaj que delicioso es

/////

una vez dani y yo íbamos saliendo de la casa, cel que estábamos pegados, y ary nos pregunto para donde íbamos y le dije aaaaaaa jajajajaja

y dani dijo, “ustedes si son raras. no entiendo por que se tratan asi” o algo así y las dos nos quedamos como …………. si verdad?

voy a ver a los del cole estoy tan emocionadaaaaa <3

April 10, 2018

10:14 am y yo estoy en jupiter wow que pegazonnnn

de fijo voy a ir a picnic si no me lo pagan yo lo pago no se como pido adelantado o algo

quiero con el me cago (aaron)

y ademas que miedo que nos vean verdad? o no?

April 11, 2018

que tigraaaaaaaa nicky cumple años Y ME INVITÓ

April 17, 2018

dear esteban pérez, un consejo, hágase de amigos mayores en la U que le den tips de cómo hacer todo. No se puede solo jajajaja, sí, se trata de aprender, pero definitivamente hay cosas que le pueden hacer a uno la vida más fácil

April 28, 2018

where the dick at?

JAJA

lunes: Tavo

martes: Yoyo y John <3 JOHN <3 dear john….

y estoy DEMASIADO feliz de haber pegado a john perooooooo hoy le jugué demasiado de viva porque ese día pegue demasiado hueco jajaja :( que mal ride son dos extremos totalmente diferentes

ODIO ir a la calle porque ODIO que se me junte el ganado. hoy me tope a ale allon y me puse roja como un tomate por dios, le presente a mariale y solo me quede ahi demasiadoooo apenada jajajaja fue rarísimo, me hizo sentir rarísima..

luego vi a aaron y me hice la loca, me fui hacia el otro lado

luego adentro vi a john y yo como fuck….

luego aaron llego a saludarme y me dijo que fuéramos arriba

luego fui arriba y estaba bailando con mis amigas y lo veía de lejos jajajaj VIENDOME todo el tiempo y los amigos viendo también y YO SOLO ME SENTIA SSU)PER PRESIONADA y lo ultimoooo que quería en el mundo era ir a darle un beso jajaj estaba demasiado awk

también estaba COCO pero ya con coco me di por vencida jajaja nunca va a pasar nunca se me va a mandar y ya equis

luego fui a fumar con juli y charlie y me tope a aaron de camino y le di explicaciones. AS IF. QuÉ ME PASAAAaaaaa

LUEGO FUMANDO con ellos, julian se me apoyaba, me hablaba y me abrazaba. RARO. luego volvimos de fumar y juli me decía mae alta gracias y me abrazaba.. en publico. awkkkk so awkkkkk

luego volví a entrar y estuve como bailando en el mismo circulo con john pero le jugué demasiado de viva ME ODIO jajajaj

amo estar soltera <3

aaron en serio me da miedo. salir todos los findes? morir vomitar siempre? quedar así? porque justo a eso le estoy huyendo…

drogas mas fuertes, salir tan heavy, tantos culos, lo conozco tanto…. lo amo demasiado así como es, no lo quiero cambiar, simplemente no lo quiero como mi pareja, como alguien en quien yo tenga que confiar con todo mi corazón, me explico?

you and i were made of glass we’d never last

además arias me abrazó y fue rajado. yo no sé por qué en serio con arias siempre me pasa eso. no es nada pero es.. algo jaja no se

ME CAGO john estaba sacando tema y todo. pero es muy alto y estaba sobrio y no sabe bailar….

dani bailaba tan bien. gracias dani por bailar tan bien. gracias dani por darme something to look forward to, la esperanza de algún día volver a sentirme asi. no creo que sea pronto, porque al parecer.. tengo un despiche JAJA, peeeeeero, ojalá algún día

bueno si. creo que no quiero lo de aaron, y ahora no se como decirle. quiero verlo y ver como me siento pero en general solo creo que es mala idea y como dije, hoy lo ultimo que quería era ir a darle un beso. me gusta estar con mis amigas.. hoy no querráa culos, quería amigas. mentira que no hubiera estado tuanis pero… aaaah no se jajaj aveces no me entiendo. aveces me quejo de que paso mucho tiempo sola oo que tengo muchoo tiempo libre y pienso que rico tener alguien con quien chillar. pero en una fiesta, hasta hoy que era una fiesta sobria y tranquila, no quería sentir la presión de irme con alguien y dejar mamando a mis amigas. o amigos. porque pude haber andado con los hombres jaja aunque ellos no me necesitan tanto pero you get it.

y además, yo aveces pensaba (después de haber terminado con dani) que por qué yo nunca llevaba a dani a mis “dates” con amigos - digamos ahora, si yo empezara a salir con alguien, lo llevaría a fumar conmigo y charlie y juli? o con dave y corrales? o con luisi y nane?????? NO. o si? que tipo de mae podría chillar hacer todo lo que yo hago conmigo? y llevarse bien con mis compas y mis amigas y ??? se puede?? porque eso siempre me lo cuestiono. por que no lo hacia? por que mi relación aveces era tan nosotros dos y yo tenia mis amigos que el no conocía del todo, que son lo vieron como una vez en la vida, siendo el y siendo ellos tan importantes para mi ? entonces quiero que si algún día tengo algo con alguien mas, que conozca a mis amigos, que lo aprueben, que se lleven tuanis. quiero sentirme orgullosa del mae. quiero decir JA, si, vean lo que me conseguí :)

y creo que voy a esperar ese momento.

no quiero solo amarrarme por aburrida o por sola. quiero que si lo hago que sea porque encontré a alguien tuanis que me suma, por mas cursi que suene. quiero pasarla tuanis y que el la pase tuanis y que crezcamos juntos los dos. Quiero cosas chivas. quiero abrazos besos pero también conversaciones profundas y risas. Quiero a alguien que me enseñe, que me escuche, que me haga ver cosas diferentes.

no me voy a partir la cabeza pensando en cual de mis opciones porque es mejor algo que nada. es tuanis pegar culo.. es vacilan y es tuanis la verdad. a mi me encanta jeje. aunque la mayoría de veces ni me acuerdo..pero ebria soy demasiado horny

hoy me hubiera gustado quedarme hablando con ese mae. ir a fumar con el, hablar mierda, darle besos. con el o con aaron lo hubiera podido hacer. pero eso de tener opciones y que todos estén ahi a la espera y asi. me hace sentir comprometida y me hace sentir mal porque si escojo a uno dejo morir a los otros dos o tres dependiendo del día TODO MAL MAE fuck bueno bye

ale me hizo cara de MMMMM que rico lo que me voy a comer hoy!!! jajaja pero creo que el esta ligando con alguien.. no se. no se por que me hizo esa cara si esta saliendo con alguien fue raro pero me gusto jajajaja me puso roja

May 7, 2018

jajajaja ??????? alooooooooo

the story continues.. probably forever.. stay tuned - jhene aiko

When I broke up with that boyfriend, he had a girlfriend. So it was, ‘Okay, alright.’ We’re still friends and we were forced to really, really get to know each other on a friendship level, you know what I mean? And to the point where he was even at my brother’s funeral. We talk to each other on a friendship level throughout all of my relationship, just like, “How is this one thing, how are you doing?”

And obviously we worked together as well throughout our relationship. We did songs together. And then it just came to a point where it was like, “I’m single, you’re single, we love each other.” We actually already loved each other as people and then it was like, “Okay, let’s just, you know, be together.

el amor, con las manos abiertas.

para darlo y para dejar que se vaya

siempre

-patricia benito

May 8, 2018

quiero escribir esto ahorita, fresco, aun sabiendo que es posible que después me de demasiada colera leer esto.. jajaja

estoy decidiendo hacerlo

estoy feliz

y en este momento que puede ser una burbuja nadamás

quiero guardar todooooo

a todo lo que yo le decía que no, o los puntos negativos, o los posibles problemas, como que ya les tenia una respuesta

y fui demasiado real jajaja talvez hablé más de la cuenta

pero le dije lo de nuestro friendship en fb del 2011 y que somos mejores amigos desde los c a t o r c e

somos mejores amigos desde los 14 y ayer fue nuestro primer date :)

red eyes - vance joy ?

END GAME de taylor swift, lo pensé ayer viendo la película jajaja esta si aplica alchile

big reputation, big reputation

Ooh, you and me, we got big reputations, ah

and you heard about me, ooh

i got some big enemies (yeah)

big reputation, big reputation

Ooh, you and me would be a big conversation, ah (git, git)

And I heard about you, ooh (yeah)

you like the bad ones, too

knew her when i was young

Reconnected when we were little bit older, both sprung

i got issues and chips on both of my shoulders

reputation precedes me, in rumours im knee deep

The truth is, it's easier to ignore it, believe me

May 18, 2018

kiss your friends’ faces more / destroy the belief that intimacy must be reserved for monogamous relationships / be more loving / embrace platonic intimacy / embrace vulnerability / use emotionality as a radical tactic against a society which teaches you that emotions are a sign of weakness / tell more people you care about them / hold their hands / tell others you are proud of them / offer support readily / take care of the people around you

May 20, 2018

domingo de “lo quiero, no lo quiero”

no puedo creer que ya esté aquí

y que no esté pasando absolutamente nada

y he estado medio tranquila pero jaja

en serio NO LO PUEDO CREER ME CAGO YA QUE ME DEJE DE IMPORTAR JUEPUTA VIDA

May 31, 2018

hey estoy super trippy pero son las 11:48 un jueves y okkk no es taaaaan temprano pero ES JUEVES Y SALI, es demasiado temprano, me porté demasiado bien, todo salió bien super vacilón pero todo está bajo control :) la fuerza del destino, solo necesitaba una señal y me llegó. gracias <3 infinitas.

#aleselvaq

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