#it is just me and my whimsical delusions

[demigod-of-the-agni]

it's always "oh wow you're Kalki!!" or it's "hot damn you're Mohini!!!" but never "wait you're genderfluid?"

[yioh]

some of my fave ships over the last few years !!!

[buttercream-princess]

Modern Will Turner fluffy & spicy head canon x blackfem! Reader

Warnings: Light smut, pregnancy kink, swearing, fluff, edging, mentions of your family members, tattoo's, spanking

(Not edited or proof-read)

Note: I write most of my characters in modern settings, so this won’t be any different. I may write about him in POTC in the future but that’s something I need to chop up. Also first time writing a headcannon, this was fun making, I'm looking forward to doing some more for Will/Legolas/Orlando.

— Will is very attentive and never misses a single thing. Anything you have interest in, he’ll use his own bare hands to recreate it for you. You like candles? Here’s 1kg worth of candles in all your favorite scents. You like plushies and stuffed animals? Build a bear has nothing on Will’s craftsmanship, he made a lifesize teddy for you to cuddle when he’s not around. He’ll even order parts for his creations from overseas, no matter the price tag, to give you the perfect gift.

—- Adding onto how crafty he is, you never have to worry about breaking anything because Will is always happy to fix it for you and he always does so, effortlessly. He’s tactile and amazing with his hands.

—- He knocked down a wall in his house between his office and guest bedroom, renovated the room, painted the walls your favorite colors and furnished it with all your favourite things including a wall hung TV, neon lights, a pink desktop and plants. Just so you can have your own space when you’re at his house. He wants you to feel like his home is yours too.

—- He loves going to IKEA with you, it’s like a playground for him to find things to build for you and your room. When you get Hotdogs in the food court with him later and get mustard on your face, he’ll grab you by the chin and lick the sauce off. Anytime you get food on your face, he does this. Why wipe it off when he can just clean it off you?

—- Will’s intelligence is unlike anyone you’ve met before, but when he’s not using his head, he’s a bit of a himbo, giving off strong Kenergy. He might know how to solve enigmatic riddles quickly and build houses from scratch but he’s clueless when it comes to most general things. He’ll always regard you as the smarter one in the relationship. In his mind you’re everything and he’s just Will. He adores you that much.

—- He has a tattoo of your name and a blue butterfly next to it on his hip bone. This man is whipped. Gone and lost in your love. He’s considering getting your initials tattooed behind his ear.

—-  Will’s independent by nature but gosh, he is one needy motherfucker, but in the most adorable way. He’s coming with you to run errands to the beauty store, late night Target trips or waiting in the corner of the salon while you get your nails done. And he’s always paying, he never lets your credit card touch the reader.

—- Will can listen to you talk for hours about your life and yourself. He finds everything about you whimsical, enchanting and seductive. Even if you’re babbling about delusions and made up scenarios, he’ll react with big emotions like it’s happening right in the moment just because he loves you that much.

—- Will collects records that you love listening to. He says, “The record is always better than streaming it.”

—- Will use to only listen to symphonies and classical music before you came into his life. Now, he listens to everything you listen to. He’s fallen in love with Neo-soul and R&B and refuses to listen to anything else.

—- His favorite song is “Stay Ready (What A Life) by Jhene Aiko and forever dedicates that tune to you. Whenever the song plays, he always sings to you, “They say the truth ain't pretty. But comin’ out that pretty mouth the truth is fitting. Cuz you ain't never talkin loud and you know plenty. Yea you know what I'm talkin bout, cuz you just get me, Yea you so pretty”, And he means every word of it. That song was written just for you, he believes.

—- Even though you and Will are just dating and don’t have kids, he always refers to you as “His wife” or “Mother of my children”

—- Will’s favorite part of being intimate with you is undressing you. There’s something about seeing you come undone only and all for him, that makes him want to be closer to you, underneath your skin even.

—- Will love’s quickies and to give you a quick orgasm in the middle of the day. But there’s nothing he loves more than giving you a sensual, candle lit, slow jam’s experience. After a long day at work, expect Will to be ready for you with a bottle of aromatherapy bottle oil, ready to iron out all your tight muscles and kinks. And of course, this massage always leads to him giving you and internal rub down too. 

—- Will edges you any chance he gets. Sometimes you just wanna snatch your vibrator off him and hit him with it because he won’t let you cum. But he always lets you finally get off if you ask him kindly. He likes manner’s in the bedroom.

—- He has a pregnancy kink. He always moans about putting a baby in you while having sex. So you can imagine he always wants to do it raw. He always begs for you to wrap your legs and arms around him while he cums.

— He gives you warnings in the bedroom if you’re rushing the pleasure too quickly. Will believes pleasure should be savored and reveled in. Greedily chasing your release and out of warnings? That’s a hard pop to your behind, leaving your cheeks red and sore. But he quickly runs his hand over your skin, soothing you. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. See what happens when you don’t listen? Hmmm?” he murmurs in your ear before sliding two fingers back in you.

—- Only with you, Will reveals how intimidating he is in the bedroom. But in front of others, he’s the most kind respectful gentleman anyone has ever met. All your friends and everyone in your family loves him. He quickly picks up on social dynamics and easily blends himself into the environment as if he was always a part of it. You can find Will at family barbecues, bonding with your uncles over different cuts of meat and taking over the grill, which your father never allows but Will’s charmingly convincing.

—- Will always plays house and dress up with your younger family members. He takes it seriously too. You best believe he’s rocking a blue lid and red lippie with confidence after playing makeovers. 

—- Will comes with you to all your social events, he just loves being around you and hyping you up in all settings. You can find him at clubs, bars and music festivals, right behind you, jamming out and spreading the good vibes. He’s even buying you and your girls rounds of bottomless cocktails at brunch.

—- Will’s a fencing prodigy, of course. He also practices MMA. His strength, determination and will is unmatched. You love sitting in the audience of his matches when he’s given trophies, standing the breathless, T-shirtless and sweaty, dressed in his little fitted shorts showing all his business, knowing that’s all yours.

—- After matches in the ring or on the mats, Will just wants to cozy himself up under your shirt, cuddling you and weakly lying against your skin. 

[lara-cairncross]

Your rottmnt Fairy AU is honestly a really big bright spot in my day ✨️ (pun intended) /pos

Whimsical and sweet with a sprinkling of angst. It's just so different and fun and OMG! Brilliant! Devouring the crumbs you drop of the story and so interested to see where it's going

It's been ages since I've watched the Fairies movies but I'm going around collecting the physical media now because this au makes me want to get lost in the stories again

Dude, 100%, messages like that are what keep me drawing this au ahdhehfheh. I'm so glad it's a bright spot for you!!! My delusions are making people happy this is so wonderful :DDD

If you're collecting the physical media, make sure you pick up the books too!!! The Pixie Hollow books were what introduced me to that whole universe as a kid, and I love them so so much 🥹 and the artstyle is GORGEOUS AHH--

🩵❤️💜🧡

[merakiui]

Yandere!Diluc, Childe, Pantalone (separate/you can add more if you want) & Prostitute!afab!reader

Hear me out, the darling is in desperate need of money & hey she has features and a body that can rival even the most beautiful of Goddesses but she can also be very bratty & spoilt although, kind too children and the elderly.

And maybe this is her first night working as one &  coincidentally the Yandere just so happens to be her first customer. Then boom for the few weeks they have been their only customers for some reason & has been given extremely large sacks of cash or expensive things like jewelry or clothes from the Yandere before leaving.

And then oh no the Yandere got a lil too attached and basically asked the reader how much for them to be theres forever? Name your price they have mountains of money they don’t even use.

Oh? Your into rich men & don’t really give a f*ck what else happens just as long they have money?

My brainfart stopped there :p

-🌿

(cw: yandere, female reader, nsfw, baby-trapping/forced pregnancy mentions, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, obsession, implied kidnapping/captivity)

Diluc is always so stiff and cordial throughout every meeting. You’ve told him countless times to loosen up and that he’s allowed to be himself around you, but he never seems to fully let his guard down. Perhaps he’s fearful of getting too attached and possibly losing you once this obsession roots itself into his very bloodstream. He’s the type to present you with a bouquet of fresh flowers or a necklace with a gemstone that reminded him of your radiant beauty. His gifts come from the heart, and he’s always so gentle and kind around you—a true gentleman whose heart has been pierced by Cupid’s whimsical arrow.

Even in bed, he seems to regard you as if you’re a fragile sculpture who’ll crumble at the slightest touch. He worships you, hanging onto your every word, and he sinks deeper into infatuation every time he finds himself tangled in bed with you. Diluc knows that as one of Mondstadt’s few eligible bachelors anyone would be delighted to have him, but he’s not interested in any proposals or romantic outings with anyone who isn’t you. His eyes are reserved solely for you, and when he looks upon you and realizes you’re wearing the sheer nightgown he gifted you his heart warms considerably.

There are moments where he can’t bring himself to get out of bed and instead keeps his arms wrapped securely around you, burying his face in your skin and inhaling the perfume that clings to you even after he’s done everything to ensure you’ll smell only of him and no one else. Even if this relationship is devoid of true love and you’re only providing a service, he’d like to delude himself into thinking it’s real. For just a moment, won’t you humor his delusions? If not, he might just have to find clever ways to keep you by his side forever.

- - -

As one of the Tsaritsa’s elite Harbingers, Childe has always been wary when it comes to prostitutes and red-light districts. While he doubts anyone would be able to assassinate him, it’s still a thought that lingers in the back of his mind. After all, he’s not the most well-liked. With his involvement with the Fatui and his schemes in Liyue, it’s obvious that Childe would be outcasted. And anyone who might be looking to collect a bounty or a reward for his head might try their luck when he’s most vulnerable and prone to lower his guard in the bedroom.

And yet he finds himself trusting you. Only slightly, mind you, and he keeps his Vision close on his person should you prove to harbor malicious intent. When he realizes that this is your first time with such a high profile customer, he can’t help wanting to jeer and tease. It’s so precious to watch you fumble with the clasps of his belt. Even if it’s an act, he’ll play along, guiding your hands with his calloused and scarred ones. Cooing at you that you’re doing so well when you lower yourself onto him, gripping his shoulders so hard that your fingernails leave crescent-shaped indents in his skin. Oh, he’s absolutely enthralled with you. You’ve given him a taste of something he didn’t realize he was craving, and now the chase is on. He won’t let you go.

Childe will pry into your life in that usual casual fashion of his, conveniently crossing paths with you while claiming that it must be some stroke of fate that’s brought the two of you together. What started as late-night meetings in the dimly lit room of the brothel you work at soon evolves into the occasional nightly rendezvous in which he whisks you away from the city under the inky vastness of night. It almost feels like he wants more from you when he takes your hand in his and guides you through the shadows to a hilltop that’s perfect for stargazing and watching the moon as it’s veiled within wispy strands of cloud.

Surely he’s not seeking actual romance. It’s a thought you can’t help but laugh at. The both of you are very content with the relationship you’ve cultivated. You provide your body and in return he pays you a hefty sum of Mora, along with some other spoils and treasures he’s acquired throughout his travels. And yet when your body is pressed against his and your heartbeat aligns with his and you exchange heated breaths through smoldering kisses, it really feels like he’s a man starved of true affection. So you can’t blame him when he insists on cumming inside one evening, ignoring your slurred protests and pressing himself against you in a position that’s certain to get you pregnant.

And bathed in the reddish hue of the candles and lamps that surround you in this silken paradise of a room, he looks positively devilish.

- - -

Materialism is a concept Pantalone is intimately acquainted with. As a wealthy man with a position of considerable power and strength, he could throw his Mora at any pursuit that catches his fancy and he wouldn’t have to worry about losing anything. With an abundance of Mora at his fingertips, the world becomes his oyster. And you exist within that shell as his precious, perfect pearl. He’s not offended when you ask for expensive things in exchange for your services. If anything, he encourages your greed, wishing to see just how deep it runs within you.

For someone as rich as he is, there are no limits to the things he can covet. And despite this he finds himself unable to make you his. To claim ownership over you and to prove to you that you belong to him and him only. How exactly can one put a price on human life when yours is so priceless? You’re his missing puzzle piece—the sole person who makes him uniquely whole. It’s as if the entire world melts away when he’s with you, holding you against him as he forces you to eye your reflection in an ornate mirror, his cock buried in your gummy walls. He’ll lavish you with all kinds of gifts, but what he loves most of all is when you wear them with pride. He’ll drape finery over your shoulders, tie jewels around your throat, and dress you in gowns so lovely it’s almost a crime to dirty them in the bedroom—each luxury a step in making you his.

There will be no dreams of fairytale romance here. Not when Pantalone is so certain that you’ll return his affections eventually. And even if you don’t, no one will look into the disappearance of a prostitute—especially if her captor happens to hold the economy in the palm of his generous hand. Your prison cell may sparkle and your shackles may be silver, but confinement is still confinement no matter how opulently furnished it may be. Pantalone assures you that you’ll be content here. Though you may cower from him now, pressing yourself into the corner of the bed whenever he wishes to lie with you, he’s certain you’ll come to understand his reasoning.

After all, the two of you had such a genuine connection before. Why are you so frightened now? He’s always been dangerous; this isn’t anything new. You’ve just mistaken the devil for an angel in the intoxicating shroud that is bedroom whimsy.

[moonbonanza]

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆ lips parted like flowers

featuring: sakasaki natsume, shinkai kanata & sakuma ritsu.

summary: an offering of a frivolous kiss by an equally frivolous boy or the lengths they are willing to go through for a mere peck of sorts.

contrary to popular belief, natsume is not always as charming as he'd like others to believe. but of course, he's still certain in his fantasies (delusions) that he has you wrapped around his little finger. he does, he does not - your thoughts on the matter are unclear themselves at times. he can be a little sour on occasion but the pucker of that whimsical rose-colored mouth is still just as sweet as to you as any smile. even in an irritable dizzy haze, he manages to work his strange magic on you. be fairly warned though, he is not above wreaking mischief especially if he feels you have not been paying much attention to him as of late. a missing cardigan, the shoe rack in disarray, placing novels at the very back of the highest shelf he can find - the list of difficulties he can conjure up for you is endless. it's a wonder he calls you a little kitten at all when he's the real feline foe here. revoke his rights for a kiss and maybe he'll learn to behave himself. a trail of hazy stars and dusty comet tails later, you can't deny that the pleasing little sting of his lips against yours is worth all the trouble.

even when completely dry, you can still see water dripping off kanata in your mind's eye. pearly droplets cascading past his nose, his lashes, his hair - onto your hands. yes, he can be silly sometimes and lack a teensy bit of decorum but you cannot help but wonder all the same if he too was made out of sea foam. it does not help that he's rather shy too in certain aspects and even when he does voice his funny thoughts aloud, you have to spend some time trying to figure out if he meant this thing or that. yet it's all part of his steady charm and you're rather grateful for the fact that attempting to dissect his brain has led to you developing a startling amount of critical thinking skills. you press a little grateful kiss to his slender hand and feel pleased when he smiles gently. he then brushes his own lips against your cheek in a gesture that you are all too gleeful to receive. and after all these polite entreaties building up towards the real thing at last end, a quick peck on the mouth takes place. it lingers for just a brief moment but you can still hear all the little fishies swimming in the marrow of his bones pulsate longingly.

there is always a playful little bite to anything ritsu does. a lilting catch to his voice, a touch of a pout, the slightest flutter of lashes tangled in sleep... he loves to make you run about him in giddy circles till you're out of breath and your vision is reeling with his very smile. you find it a bit dear if not a little concerning. he naps quite an awful lot too and you often find yourself given the responsibility to rouse him from slumber. you've fallen victim to his adorable pleas and flushed apple cheeks more times than you'd like to count. he almost always ends up convincing you to shirk your obligations and what's worse is that he does it knowingly. one kiss burrowed into your palm and a single blink of his stupidly drowsy eyes later is enough to send you into shambles. if he feels especially generous, he'll even indulge to the whims of your trembling lips but only if you promise to leave him be after that.

notes: srry for not posting for almost *counts fingers* eight months?! the yuckiness that is life happened and it prevented me from my one true calling: writing about anime boys slash romanticized versions of the reader who would actually be pretty insufferable in real life lol. you just can't get away from these idol boys even if you tried huh... anyways!! i'm back now so pls talk to me! thanku ♡

[flameswallower]

Briar's Favorite First Time Reads of 2023!

I read sixty or so books (start to finish) for the first time this year, which is pretty average for me. I liked most of them pretty well, since if I dislike a book I usually won't finish it. But there were some stand outs, which I'm going to list here.

First up: NOVELS!

Pseudotooth, by Verity Holloway (2017) is the first portal fantasy coming of age novel I've read in a long, long time that I found genuinely charming. It has a very dark Gothic edge to it, with shades of Gormenghast and Edward Gorey making for a uniquely unsettling and bleak fantasy world. The novel also deals frankly and seriously with themes of ableism, eugenics, medical abuse, xenophobia, socio-economic class, rape/sexual abuse, and the psychic fallout of rape/sexual abuse. But it's got a lot of whimsical absurdist humor to it, too, and a deep humanist compassion for its characters. The three young adults at the center of the story are all quite likeable, and though they are involved in a kind of love triangle, I found the particulars of it refreshingly queer, strange, and not the primary focus of the story.

The Marigold, by Andrew F. Sullivan (2023) is a pitch-dark, stone cold bummer that is also frequently hilarious and emotionally moving in tender ways that took me by surprise. In this dystopian satire, a bunch of down-and-out relatable characters and one horrible rich guy struggle to survive as near-future Toronto is engulfed by "the Wet"-- a sapient mold-based hive mind accidentally created by the depravity and greed of big business. The residents of the titular condominium/apartment complex feature in short vignettes that demonstrate the despair and alienation people suffer under late stage capitalism, and the way the Wet calls to these people, lures them in, hunts them.

The Open Curtain, by Brian Evenson (2006) is a harrowing nightmare about madness, violence, possession, Mormonism, and the destabilization of one's known reality (well, see also "madness"). It's a type of story that could easily feel shlocky and exploitative of people with certain mental disorders, or just predictable (there are some plot twists you'll guess very quickly if you've ever like...read books or seen movies before...), but Evenson's unornamented yet masterful prose, his meticulous attention to detail, and his non-condescending empathy for both victims of violence and people struggling with delusions, violent impulses, etc. make it rise above those potential problems. At least in my opinion! This one's very disturbing, will definitely leave you feeling like shit.

Hummingbird Salamander, by Jeff VanderMeer (2021) is very emotionally moving and a suspenseful, well-plotted eco-noir page turner! Also a bummer, but leaves one feeling awe and hope and determination as well as mourning the devastating loss of life that climate change has wrought. The protagonist is great, a truly unusual and unlikely detective. I loved her voice-- like any good noir hero, she can throw off a legitimately funny sarcastic quip with the best of them, but she's also prone to astute social observations and flights of breathtaking lyricism.

How to Get Over the End Of the World, by Hal Schrieve (2023) is a TRAGICALLY under-promoted and underrated punk rock magical realist YA masterpiece about trans high schoolers, and their dysfunctional adult mentors, putting on a rock opera to save their community center. This one, unlike most of what I read, is NOT EVEN KIND OF A BUMMER. It's delightful and hilarious from start to finish, though it's definitely not saccharine-sweet or afraid of conflict. In fact, it deals quite bluntly and refreshingly with topics ranging from the relationship one character has with his violent, abusive father, to sexual relationships between teenagers, to the ever-looming awareness of climate change. Every major character is trans! Every single one!! This is kind of a spoiler, but, like, not really lol

Sudden Glory, by Hal Johnson (2023) just goes to show that guys named Hal can really write comic novels. This book has perhaps the highest joke-to-paragraph ratio of anything I’ve ever read, and also probably the most varied types of joke: a person whose sense of humor runs to preposterous situation comedy, slapstick, and lowbrow sexual humor will find a lot to like here, and so will someone whose sense of humor runs to moderately esoteric literary/historical references, social satire, five-layer wordplay, and Wildean bon mots. Since it’s set in the New York City of 2003, there’s even room for a few 9/11 jokes, which could not have appeared without controversy in a book actually published in 2003. This slightly "politically incorrect" edge comes off as good-natured and in keeping with Johnson's commitment to absurdism-- there's never a "laughing at" vibe, more one of "laughing with" human folly, futility, pretensions, etc. At base, this is a story about a person who feels he can't tell the truth or be himself for fear of social rejection, and all the trouble that gets him into.

Piranesi, by Susanna Clarke (2020) is fucking gorgeous, probably one of my favorite books of all time now, this hole was made for me, etc. I can't reasonably expect that most others will have as intense a response to it as I did-- I felt it perfectly conveyed some very important and difficult to articulate things about, like, my personal experience of consciousness, and my experience as a person with certain types of neurological/cognitive/developmental disability navigating the world, through a kind of fabulist prism. But it got great reviews, so, you know, give it a shot! I think it's better not to know anything about it going in, but let me just say, if you're into weird, massive labyrinthine buildings, this hole might also have been made for you.

Devil House, by John Darnielle (2022) is exactly the novel you'd expect "the Mountain Goats guy" to write, in all the best possible ways. It's a story that elevates the inner lives of neurodivergent outsider teens to the mythic heights they deserve. It's a story that brutally critiques the true crime industry. It's a story about the problems of defining people exclusively by their victimhood, or exclusively by the worst thing they ever did. It's a story about the importance of having a little space to oneself, a shelter from the demands and threats of an often cruel world, and the lengths to which a person will go to defend such a shelter if it's broached. Also, there's a long, nauseating section about how it's actually really difficult and gross to chop up a human corpse for disposal.

[desultory-novice]

Hi hello that Yume Nikki Ado post scratched a special itch™️ in my brain so if you don't mind me, I'll ramble a bit.

So most likely no there won't be a specific explication of what's going with Ado as per usual, but I feel like there could be some themes going on there.

Considering she's the only human among whimsical creatures, she probably does feel alienated from everyone else. Maybe they could be vague interpretation of real people on her life, but practically stripping any sort of nuance from them to mostly be these silly creatures who she can just play with all day.

Probably has a possession/dark matter motif going around there for obvious reasons, but since you're making the crystal gun the equivalent to the knife and canonically it repels dark matter, there can be some interesting concept in there. Like possession is sort of the equivalent to whatever happened to her.

Now I've been thinking about the chars, personally I'd make Monoko Gooey cuz my gijinka is inspired of her but there's many other options.

Though the one I'm interested in is Uboa and Poniko. On all accords, Poniko is just a normal human like Madotsuki till you trigger Uboa who then sends you to the shadow realm™️, and I've been thinking who tf could it be, all I know is that the shadow realm™️ reminds me of Miracle Matter/Zero's stages.

I have so many brain worms but I don't wanna bother you about it lolol

PS: KyuuKyuu-kun could be Void, I just feel like they got that funky color scheme going on

'Ey! Welcome to the cookout! XD

I'm liking the concept you're building here extending the metaphor with her Weapon vs Dark Matter. It feels like she could be...sort of working through her fears and possession trauma with it?

(My other thought, at least for the "the Kirby series is all a delusion happening in Adeleine's head" story, was to give her a palette knife, but that triggered my own brain worms - for Ib! XD)

Seeing some of the landscapes take on Dark Matter traits reminds me of...ah, dang. There's no way I'm going to be able to find it again on my own but some savvy fans might remember this gorgeous (yet painful) series of pics a fan drew of various "bad endings" to several of the games game? (The Dream Fountain dried up, the Halberd crashing w/ Kirby in it, etc) and the DL3 one had all the Animal Friends turned into these Dark Matter monstrosities while Ado was huddled up against her sketchbook or something similar.

Basically, like that is what I'm picturing.

(Ooh, nice to hear! I'm quite fond of your Gooey, as well as your amazing insectoid Ribbon and Fairy Queen designs!)

If you were looking to "cast" an Ado Nikki, the easiest (and most predictable route) would be to align the girls + Masada-sensei with the 64 gang. Though you're right about Kyukyu-kun and Void. XD

My brain is torn on wanting to place Kirby and Dedede as the mono sisters, because of Kirby's Dream Land being in b/w on the Gameboy, but Meta Knight is more Monoe-like than Dedede...

As for Poniko + Uboa, Poniko would almost have to be the Fairy Queen. She looks similar, with the same hair and eye color and very similar in-game proportions, fulfilling that "Oh, she's a human like me" but then you hit the light switch and...

...And THERE's your Miracle Matter!

Edit: I seem to have gotten three copies of this ask. Probably just a glitch but thought I'd let you know in case you tried to send a follow-up and Tumblr bl0rped and made it the same post three times.

[onewomancitadel]

A smattering of general updates:

I played Tears of the Kingdom. I didn't really enjoy it. I understand why it was popular though; I'm just not the demographic for these types of video games anymore. I didn't find it creatively rewarding and after a time I sat there thinking 'I would rather be writing right now', and since then I have learnt that writing is made easier by doing things which are not writing, because it makes me miss it. My dad also doesn't really like it but for some reason has played hundreds of hours in it. I don't know either - I think he will take anything called Zelda at this point.

I spectated the Doctor Who David Tennant Special and watched some clips of the new season. I'm not a fan of RTD, and not a DW fan anymore (not for a long time), but it was an interesting study in how studios try to attract old and new fans.

I read a lot of books, and that lie people tell you about all books being good for you is a lie, because a cyberpunk anthology of short stories made me so angry I got heartburn. I think people who say that are saying so because they wish that they could read a lot, in which case I say, yes I think reading is a gift and we should engage with it, however, sometimes I get so physically angry from something stupid/bad I've read because bad writers exist that it gives me actual pain. I am reading Howl's Moving Castle right now and it's very joyful; I am very surprised by the liberties the animated film took! However so far I do think both experiences are worthwhile, and if you enjoyed the Ghibli film, I very much recommend checking out the original book if you want to revisit that world again. The prose is straightforward but a little whimsical, and Howl is very, very funny. I have laughed aloud a few times.

Well, you know I rewatched Dark, and it's funny that during my exile I said 'this is like if RWBY got the ending it deserves' and then, er, I found out it's not renewed yet, and that's still up in the air, which for the entirety of RWBY I have only had one true moment of doubt of such a thing, and that was a while ago.

On that topic, yes, I still ship Jaune/Cinder, believe Cinder's redemption is likely, etc., although there are some more external concerns I would wager now than before. Before I thought it very possible to do without any commercial influence, and it depends what compromises they do or don't end up making or having already made. My analysis of Jaune's arc in V9 may not hold water as much (e.g. if you lean towards the view there were rewrites to cater to growing the audience, or perhaps it's two ideas married? I'm not sure) so I'm going to think about it more, and there always has been a tension in RWBY between what is being expected/baited and what is foreshadowed/said/actually happens.

I figured out how to write again and what was blocking me, so there's that. To talk about it a bit more, since my break I have worked every single day on writing. My key takeaways are that you need a delicate balance of delusion and self-doubt to get anything done - you don't know you can do something until you actually do it - and every excuse I invented for not writing was not the reason I was not writing. I can write with a migraine beginning to set in on an uncomfortable desk where I can't even rest my elbows properly on the end of a bed with no back support without aircon in the middle of summer before I've even taken my hair out from bedtime plaits in my pyjamas. I didn't even expect to get my fic done right before midnight, actually I was like 'well lol that's not going to happen, I'll write anyway though, fuck New Year's' because I wasn't doing anything, and then I finished and looked at the time and was like ooooh. I actually completed my goal! So I'm very proud of that. Anyway writing is breathing, to me, I go crazy if I don't do it, no matter what it is, and every single piece of nonsense advice of productivity was not helpful, ever, but I did figure it out. Also admittedly I got a fire burning under me again because I found out I was actually right about Raven, in which case I took that as a sign from heaven I was on the right track. One should hope.

I am excited about Dune Part Two, yes, although I am trying to avoid Villeneuve talking about the film because I know all the marketing is basically directed at people who aren't Dune fans, and I have to see it for myself to see what it's worth. I enjoyed the first film, and Villeneuve seems excited to direct Dune Messiah, in which case I am willing to do whatever possible to make that happen. Because that's about as complete a story you're going to get in a major motion picture adaptation and it would be So Fucking Good.

[ajokeformur-ray]

what did you think of the trailer lovely?!

Hey angels🥺

Okay so... I'm conflicted.

We all know I wasn't in favour of a second film because I thought Joker (2019) was the absolute perfect cult classic standalone film, and I still think that way. We all know I wasn't excited about the announcement of a sequel because I was upset about the Harley spin Todd AND Joaquin said they wouldn't do if they ever did a sequel.

But I also said I'd reserve full judgement until I saw a trailer, and now I'm saying, having seen the trailer, I'll reserve full judgement until I see the cinema release film.

My initial thoughts when I saw the trailer were all on Arthur and how PERFECT he is. He looks the same, he sounds the same, he FEELS the same (what I mean is, the general vibe of his segments in the trailer feel true to how Arthur feels in the first film). He IS Arthur, from what I can tell from the little we see of him. I am absolutely terrified that this sequel will undo all the nuance of the first film or make a mockery of it or that they'll turn our Arthur into yet another run of the mill abusive Joker or butcher his character and everything we love about him, but I felt comforted in the trailer to feel like I recognised the man looking back at me. It is so good to see this beautiful tragic mess of a man again. He's gotten older and so have we.❤️ Isn't it beautiful?🥺

The cinematography is GORGEOUS, the colours are astounding and Joker looks ethereal in the moonlight just like we all said he would, the music is intense but also whimsical and dreamy and very much Arthur, his laughter is so familiar yet so painful because we all know that THAT laugh is when he's being suppressed or hurt in some way, and my heart BROKE when I saw him being pushed around, dragged, CHAINED IN THE RAIN????? Let our man rest, PLEASE😭💔he's been through too much and I just can't see Arthur hurt anymore. Also, whoever did that lipstick smile on the glass deserves a raise. That was GORGEOUS.

So in short, I'm worried about the aforementioned character development (or assassination), I'm worried about the intentions with Harley; is she a delusion like Sophie was or is she using Joker to further her own agenda or is he gonna be abusive and hurt her or are they BOTH delusional and therein lies the tragedy somehow or is it a thousand other possibilities? There's just too many options and all we have is extrapolation and spectulation until the film comes out, and as I said I'll be reserving full judgement until I see it because I'm worried about what they're gonna do to Arthur but in short when I watched it all I was thinking was,

"please don't hurt him please don't hurt him please don't hurt him please don't -"

Just like I did during the first film, and that's extremely comforting in a very odd way😭

What did you all think?

@starry-eyedd

[nailgunstigmata]

i need to stop taking breaks to look at tumblr while writing macden fics because i will inevitably see a picture of mac and have to go chew on my printed out photo of his face and throw darts at my rob mcelhenney dartboard and punch my rob mcelhenney punching bag. it should be ME whos knotting dennis and sharing whimsical delusions of a little house in the mountains where we raise our half werewolf half vampire children far away from the society that has always rejected us just because we kill and eat people sometimes

[hyenahunt]

Saga: Release - 15

Writer: Akira

Season: Spring

Characters: Seiya, Jun

Proofreading: moricchiichan (JP) & hyenahunt (ENG)

Translation: kotofucius

Seiya: You speak of me like a walking calamity… but if a calamity is what I am, then humanity should already know what measures to take, right?

Location: Downtown

Time: A little over ten minutes later

Seiya: (Fufu. They all looked so bewildered — it isn’t such a bad idea to imitate my wife sometimes.

I feel even closer to her than before. Personally, however, I don’t wish to cause too much trouble.

Either way, Ibara-kun has been fancying himself a strategist, so I’m sure this will also help to teach him a lesson.

After all, he'll only get a rude awakening from reality one day if he's mislead into believing everything will go according to plan from such a young age.

That delusion of omnipotence anyone must’ve held as a child is very sweet and dazzling, but…

Unfortunately, this disorderly mess of a world shall never be moved by the will of a single person.

Of course, some may argue that’s just what makes it interesting… Oh?)

Jun: Sensei~!

Hidaka-sensei, good day! Sorry to keep you waiting — I’ve come to pick you up!

Seiya: So you have. Thank you, Jun-kun.

Fufu. You didn’t need to come in such a hurry.

And there was no need for you to come all the way here yourself. You could've simply requested a member of staff to come pick me up instead, no?

Jun: Mm, well… Nghh~ I'm just not a fan of ordering people around, y’see. Someone like me isn't nearly important enough to be making others do stuff for me~ Not yet, anyway.

Seiya: Now, people don’t give orders to others only when they’re important enough to do so, you see; they start to seem important precisely because they give orders.

Jun: I, uh, see…. Well, anyway, Sensei, why'dja go to the shopping mall instead~?

Our live show today as Eve got put off 'cause something suddenly came up, y'know~?

Seiya: Yes, it seems there was a miscommunication? …Or at least, that’s my justification. It was a deliberate mistake.

Your people were the one who made a sudden change to the plan, so I have no reason to be held responsible.

Jun: …? Uh, so you mean you headed to the wrong location on purpose~? Why'dja do that?

Seiya: Just a whim, really. To be more precise, some people won’t like it if I tell you everything so I'm dodging the question.

But there's no problem with that, yes? The event should have worked out fine without me.

Jun: I mean, yeah, but Ohii-san was acting unusually nervous 'cause you said you were gonna come and watch, Sensei…

He wanted to look presentable so you could come at any moment, and he was completely on edge the whole time. The tension in the air was exhausting, honestly~ It's so awkward when that guy isn't his stupidly smiley self.

Seiya: There was no need for him to be so nervous. Please, ignore me like you would the air.

No — it should be an idol’s job to sing with a smile at any time, even when a missile is heading directly towards you.

In any case, I apologize for not keeping my word to see your performance. It seems I can be too lax at times, or too indifferent to things, you could say.

I must've gotten too used to whimsical behavior from being constantly in the presence of my ever eccentric wife…

Of course, I do love that side of her more than anyone in the world.

Jun: Uh-huh… Well, it’s not like you were gonna be onstage with us today, Sensei, so all you broke was a spoken promise to come and see us…

It honestly isn't that big of a deal, yeah?

But if you can help it, please keep lying to a minimum, alright? You've got such an important presence, Sensei, that your random whims could probably start catastrophes.

Seiya: You speak of me like a walking calamity… but if a calamity is what I am, then humanity should already know what measures to take, right?

Jun: Come again…?

Seiya: Three, two, one…

Wonderful. Our ride's arrived, so get inside.

Jun: Sorry? What…?

Seiya: You ran all the way from the station, didn’t you? It was practically a snapshot of youth, but you just got off work, so you should be working on resting your body instead.

I called for this car, so I’ll take you to your dorm.

Care to accompany me for a meal on the way?

Jun: Wha— 'course, I’d be honoured! But I don’t think I should be doing this~ And Ohii-san will worry if I don’t go back soon.

Seiya: Fufu. All you need to do is drop him a line; Hiyori-kun isn’t a little boy, is he?

…Not to mention, he needs to be made a little more aware of just how important you are.

Hiyori-kun and Nagisa-kun are protagonists of the past, former members of fine who brim with their sheer talent and ability

And the one who may eventually stand at the center of this era is Ibara-kun, an inheritor of the blood of God.

Compared to them, you tend to be viewed as a mediocre existence — just there to make the numbers add up, and wouldn’t make a difference either way.

But that’s exactly why I believe that you hold the key.

Because rather than God, the protagonist of this era is humanity itself.

Jun: Umm, huh…? I guess you're praising me…? Thank you very much?

Seiya: You’re welcome. Well, whether you’ll really become someone worthy of that praise will depend on your effort. I actually expect a lot from you, Jun-kun — quite a bit.

You’re a gutsy boy with a bright future; you climbed up all the way from the pits of hell.

So I think everyone underestimates you more than they should — the lengths they go to distance you from your ‘source of worry’ seem so pointless.

Jun: ……?

Seiya: Well, that’s Ibara-kun’s strategy, or perhaps you might call it kindness… So I won’t try to carelessly throw his plans out of order just for fun.

I shall choose to do nothing, exactly because I can do anything.

(Based on what I’ve seen, their encounter will throw Jin-kun off more, instead of Jun-kun.)

(Jin-kun was always such an earnest, gentle boy.)

Jun: Come again…?

Seiya: Jun-kun, you were born at the bottom of the barrel. So I’m sure your life has been nothing but a climb up. From where I stand now — that’s actually quite enviable.

Jun: Er, okay… Uh, Sensei, you always pretty much talk to yourself, huh~?

Couldja kindly hold a conversation instead? Or do you not wanna talk to folks as lowly as us?

Seiya: Fufu. Apologies, my wife is usually the one who does all the talking — she'll even say what I want to say, you see…

So to be perfectly honest, I don’t see any need for me to be doing any communication.

I don’t seem to have a strong sense of self, and I don’t hold much of an opinion on anything. As a result, I've left my son mostly to his own devices, although he seems rather dissatisfied with that.

Seiya: Putting all idealistic arguments to the side… I believe there is no need for a sense of self when it comes to idols doing their jobs.

I am a laborer, or a robot, you see, and the functions expected of me are what I will perform to perfection.

✦✦✦✦✦

← prev ✦ all ✦ next →

[riddle-me-ri]

k hear me out we NEED the directors cut for taking care of Jervis through his depression

It has already been a huuuge experiment with his character but maybe theres still smth left to say u know👀👉🏻👈🏻

HNNGGG *vibrating with elated joy* IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED ANON when I saw this ask game I was HOPING someone would ask about Love and Suds! Because I HAVE A LOT TO DISCUSS HNNGGG

Because of that there's a read more tab lmao

I'm so sorry I know its a lot but just please bear with me because I HAVE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS I need to express lol.

So Jervis is incredibly interesting to me lmao.

I've been in and out of the Batman/Rogue fandom going on about six years. I've always wanted to like Jervis (I loved Alice in Wonderland as a child shush I still do plus mind control?? Hell yeah) but given his controversy and everyone just sweeping him under the rug, aside from BTAS and Arkhamverse, I felt like I was slowly getting a grasp on him but never quite got there.

Now fast forward after a year and a half out of the fandom and thwarting myself back in I am here and I've met a couple genuine Jervis fans for like years, fans, shout out to @march-harrigan and @jervis-tetch-my-beloved and when I read their work and thoughts I was like...Okay so it's not just me that thinks this...it was very affirming to see others got the same read on him.

Because I say this with 0 hesitation, Jervis can be a tricky mad lad to write for. I mean extremely (Jon moreso for me lately, stoicism isn't my strong suit but I'm working on it) difficult.

A lot of people have a bad habit of infantilizing him or making him out to be weaker than he is. Yes he's a wee mad lad with a penchant for rhymes, hats, and tea.

But he's also a murderer, kidnapper, manipulator, and a neuroscientist...he's one of the smartest bastards in the room but because he acts playful, and whimsical people misjudge and underestimate him

Also, Jervis has shown the capability of remorse (again varying iterations but he does seem the usual suspect to feel any sort of guilt whenever he's finally lucid) because of that, I felt a compulsion to do something DC writers are fucking terrified to do....actually give a rogue hope. They tried to reform Eddie but that didn't last (mostly cause of his own compulsions that were never properly addressed...poor baby..)

Now I know for many, a lot of these characters are BEYOND redeemable, Jervis included (y'know kidnapping, murder, mind control...yeah) and they're not inherently good people, but some rogues were once before...

And I truly do think if Jervis had a positive consistent in his life that was able to make reality a Wonderland, he wouldn't need the fantasy, he wouldn't need the delusion.

That's where the idea for Love and Suds came from.

I've written for Jervis a couple times before Love and Suds and when I tell you I had to stop myself from literally doing a character deep dive for a smut prompted request...I had to reel back A BUNCH. I would be almost 1k words in and remember oohhh they're supposed to be fucking goddamnit and have to edit the shit out of it.

So I knew I had to do something just to prevent it from happening again. Slowly but surely the plot came to me, but I was hesitant. Again, I didn't want to infantilize him, but I did want the reader to take care of him. Hence why a lot of the time in the story Jervis is scoffing at himself because he's in reality and he's ultra aware of what's going on but like he's also selfish and isn't going to pass up a chance to finally be clean.

Which is something else I hope I made clear was that Jervis was very much in reality during the entirety of the story whilst in his depression...hence why he wasn't rhyming, he wasn't absolutely appalled by the state of his home (scattered saucers, dirty tea cups everyone some broken after being thrown at the wall, hats with broken seams and holes in them, things I didn't really get a chance to describe). I'm sure you've figured that out but just wanted to confirm it.

It's one of those fics I hold near and dear to my heart.

Because one it was one of those fics I had going around in my head that I finally put onto paper and it was exactly how I envisioned it (its only happened with two other stories)

And two... I didn't realize how much it was wanted/needed? I knew since it wasn't a request from anyone it wasn't going to be everyone's fancy...but like the amount of feedback I got exclaiming that this is exactly what they want to see for Jervis? This is how they see him? Like I didn't realize that was something that people were looking for!

As far as if there's anything more to the story...when I tell you I have thought of sequel ideas for Love and Suds I have thought about it immensely...

I have a couple scenarios were Jervis returns the favor to Reader, one where Jervis comes to properly court the reader but overhears a heated argument with Reader defending Jervis to Batman, like the possibilities are ENDLESS but I also don't want to like...ruin it either you know? Too many may spoil it or make it bad?

But yeah...so sorry this is so long lmao if you guys do want more content regarding the set up of Love and Suds let me know! I may still write a couple connected drabbles here and there for a comfort project for myself but it's also good to know if you guys would be into it too! If tumblr could let us all have polls I'd put it in a poll but nooooo

Thanks for reading all of this lmao and thank you for asking anon I am so glad to get this all off my chest lmao

[ardenrabbit]

Hi....If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

What a fun question! Thank you for asking! I think I already answered an ask about favorite characters, but here's a list of some of my favorite media in no particular order 💜

1. Avatar the Last Airbender: If you didn't grow as a person if/when you watched atla I just don't know what to say to you. Watch it again I guess? Learn self-love and empathy and healthy coping tactics

2. Lord of the Rings, by Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien, especially Peter Jackson's Fellowship of the Ring, Extended Version: Favorite movie. Nostalgia factor. Gandalf. Viggo Mortensen ruining all other men for me. Boromir being a Good Man. The soundtrack of this movie is Home to me.

3. The Goblin Wood, book by Hilari Bell: Friendship, magic, and angry, vengeful witches. Anti-colonialism. Great take on magic. Questioning dogma and learning how not to be a cop. A crotchety goblin named Cogswhallop who is my best friend.

3. Big Fish: Movie with Albert Finney, Ewan Mcgregor, and Marion Cotillard my beloved. Whimsical, heartwarming, and profoundly bittersweet story about people learning to communicate and share in each other's lives. I really just fucking love this movie.

4. ⭐ A Silent Voice: Japanese animated movie about a former bully learning to not hate himself, a deaf girl learning self-worth, and a lot of people learning to be friends. Fucking stunning visuals and music. Another profoundly bittersweet one with a happy ending, and one I wish I'd seen earlier in my life. Content warning: two suicide attempts.

5. Mo Dao Zu Shi, by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu: Chinese web novel with several adaptations, about a lot of fascinating topics with oceans of nuance because MXTX is a genius tbh, but largely about questioning convention and doing the right thing, the different ways in which people can love, the meanings of bravery, and some zombies. I also love her novel Tian Guan Ci Fu but have to analyze the themes a little more before I can confidently talk about what it means? It's fucking incredible though (and like twice as long lol)

6. No. 6, by Atsuko Asano: Japanese web novel with a manga and anime adaptation (manga is the best): honestly just a fun time about destroying The System with gay love and bees. Deuteragonist is an edgy dumbass who lived in a cave, blows up government vehicles, and quotes too much Shakespeare. To this day I am endlessly entertained by Nezumi.

7. The Kingkiller Chronicles, by Patrick Rothfuss: Book series comprising The Name of the Wind and Wise Man's Fear. Someday will include the final book, Doors of Stone. Epic fantasy story about a bard-rogue-wizard with delusions of grandeur giving his memoir after all the damage he's caused. Involves the COOLEST magic systems in one world, does an amazing job of establishing a truly low-fantasy-feeling but simultaneously deeply mystical environment, and has exactly the kind of compelling eccentricity that I love in characters. Beautifully poetic prose.

8. Dragon Age: rpg video game series about a series of Unfortunate World Events. You play a different character in each game, the protagonist at the center of one catastrophe or another, and they all tie in beautifully in the overall world story progression. The characters you meet are multidimensional and SO worth analyzing, because they're all fascinating and flawed people (except Varric Tethras, who is Perfect and The Love of my Life (my wife knows and accepts this)).

9. ⭐ Gates of Fire, by Steven Pressfield: Okay, FUCK THIS BOOK for being about the battle of Thermopylae where you know EXACTLY how that ended for the defending army and MAKING YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH THE CHARACTERS ANYWAY. Insanely well-researched historical fiction. Sympathetic to the subject and emotionally and socially insightful to a devastating degree. The best representation of the camaraderie and friendship in warrior culture without all the awful macho bullshit we've come to expect and loathe. They really ask the question "what is the opposite of fear" and come to the answer "love." I have broken down sobbing while reading a story three times in my life, and TWO of those times were from this book. Seriously, fuck this book. I will never write half as well as Steven Pressfield.

10. ⭐ It's Such a Beautiful Day, by Don Hertzfeldt: Remember the animation show on YouTube, that absurdist hand-drawn animation with the robots? Yeah that guy made a whole emotionally gutting, bittersweet movie about the nature of life and coming to terms with the end of it. Intergenerational trauma, chronic illness, and a lot of introspection. Beautifully paced storytelling. This is an Important Movie. It's not immediately stylistically accessible to everyone, but seriously, open your heart and branch out. This movie made me a little more whole.

If I had to pick three of these to shove in people's faces, it would be the starred and red ones lol. Not enough people know about them or have taken the time to appreciate them.

[delicateteenagerunaway]

I have entered a rabbit hole of synastry...

So, I recently fell down the fascinating rabbit hole of astrology and decided to dive headfirst into the mystical world of synastry! Buckle up because I've stumbled upon an astrological discovery that's blowing my mind! 🌟✨ Turns out, according to the cosmic dance of the stars, my birth chart is compatible with none other than Boyd Holbrook's chart! 🔮

I know, it sounds like a delightful delusion, but bear with me!

Disclaimer: Before we dive in, let me make it clear that my calculations are based on wild speculation about Boyd Holbrook's birth chart (which can be found here: https://www.astrotheme.com/astrology/Boyd_Holbrook ). But hey, let's have some fun with it, shall we?

So, after some playful chart comparisons, I couldn't help but notice some intriguing alignments between our celestial signatures. It's like the stars conspired to create some cosmic connections that are too amusing to ignore! 😄🔮

For starters, before I started diving more into synastry, I already had some hints of compatibility in our charts such our Venus, Mars and Rising signs matching one another (based on his chart he’s an Aquarius Rising while I am an Aquarius Venus and he’s a Cancer Mars while I am a Cancer Rising). These aspects in astrology can indicate that basically he embodies the ideal of beauty for me, while his Mars indicates strong attraction to the energy of my rising. However, our Sun / Mercury signs are in opposition, which can hint at a love-hate type of situation (the downfall of being with your sister sign). Furthermore, our Moons, Venus, and Jupiter placements seem to be in a celestial symphony of harmony by conjuncting one another. It's like the universe is saying, 'Hey, you two, here's a cosmic recipe for emotional connection and artistic understanding!' 🌙💖✨

Now, here's where it gets interesting. As I explored the houses, I couldn't help but notice that some of his placements seem to fall right into my fourth house. It's like a cosmic hug of comfort! His sun in my fourth house, conjunction with my Virgo IC, which brings a sense of familiarity and warmth (potentially explains why I find him to be such a comfort person).

And let's not forget the planets that reside in our eighth and fifth houses. It's as if the universe is nudging us towards mutual understanding in artistic endeavors and emotional bonds.

Call it starry coincidence or just pure cosmic mischief, but I'm totally embracing my astrological delusions from here on out! So, I'm strapping on my imaginary starry boots and surrendering to the whimsical dance of the planets. Let's embrace the magic, the laughter, and the sweet enchantment that astrology can bring into our lives! After all, who needs reality when you can revel in the playful wonders of the universe?

Now, I must make it clear that all of this is good fun and pure speculation. I'm not about to give up on life and become delusional solely for the sake of astrology compatibility, even if it feels like a Pedro Pascal-level crush. 😅 That being said, I want to take a moment to emphasize my respect for Boyd Holbrook's personal life and his relationship with his wife (to whom I own my life because she’s the one providing with constant updates of our boy).

While astrology can be an entertaining exploration, it's essential to remember the boundaries of reality and respect the commitments and relationships of others. Love and connection come in many forms, and we can appreciate the cosmic alignments without crossing any lines.

It's truly fascinating and funny how our charts seem to have some compatible aspects. Let's celebrate the whimsy of astrology, embrace the magic of connections, and enjoy this delightful cosmic dance! It does give some insight was to why we might like certain public personalities and honestly, I feel that can be something cute of course if done in its limits.

Remember, this is all about having a good laugh, finding joy in the mysterious, and exploring the playful wonders of the universe. So, let's embrace the fun, revel in the starry tales, and keep the cosmic relations alive! 💫💕✨"

[doomedandstoned]

DIE LIKE GENTLEMEN Return with Fiery Double Album ‘Hard Truths’

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

By Billy Goate

“Ocean at Night with Burning Ship” by Marcus Larson

DIE LIKE GENTLEMEN have always represented to me the ideal fusion of rock and metal. Drawing on their sludgey roots, the Portland, Oregon quartet adopts progressive and dramatic elements for a punchy sound that is, in the band's words, "new and original, yet familiar." This is no less true on their fifth album, 'Hard Truths' (2021).

In the opener "Guts of a Beggar," a homeless man proclaims: "How can you just step over me? I'm still a man. Even stewing in my own filth, I’m still a man." It is sung with lusty aplomb by the throaty vocals of frontman Adam Alexander. High drama at its best, the first chapter of what feels like an epic adventure as the record spins along.

This takes us to the apocalyptic, "Last Night On Earth," which bemoans our blithe attitude towards this place we call home, as we tear it away little by little.

We’ll pay by degrees plastic tides recede mountains of debris

"Whipping Boy" begins with a chugging gallop and vocals that reach levels of epic doom, mingled with elements of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal. The verses and choruses here are hearty and robust, something that's become a Die Like Gentlemen trademark.

whatever crimes the kings devise the whipping boy will pay the price

"Letting in the Rain" is another standout track, coming later in the album. It captures the gloom, uncertainty, and paranoia of isolation during a long Northwest winter ("Did I leave these footprints on my floor? Did I unlock this door?").

There is sardonic humor on the record, too, as on "Bury Me." If you've ever wanted to watch the world burn, then perhaps you can relate to this dying man's plea:

Bury me but only up to my eyes so I can see the world and watch the spool unfurl

Bury me but only up to my nose so I can smell the smoke and hear the living choke

Lyrics seem to touch upon matters relatable to our time, yet strangely removed from it, as if coming from the realm of dreams. It's like a Dr. Suess poem full of odd characters, unusual turns of a phrase, and whimsical illusions. Not quite a Neil Fallon word salad (Clutch) or a Serge Tankian spittoon (System of a Down), Die Like Gentlemen nevertheless traffic in the urgent, carnal, and bizarre.

The music itself seems to pull you right out to sea in an undertow of brash vocals, bold tonal choices, progressive stylings, and frenetic unease. When I search for the nearest anchoring point, I compare it with Mastodon's Leviathan.

In the end, vocalist/guitarist Adam Alexander comments:

We just write what we write. We all share a lot of influences – classic rock, death metal, doom, grunge. I guess it’s where we feel most comfortable: darkness, anger, anxiety, depression and doom. We’re not the first band to find freedom in dwelling on darker aspects but we’re always following different inspirations to keep things interesting.

Hard Truths is Die Like Gentlemen's most robust effort to date. It releases March 17th and will be issued on CD and 2xLP in addition to digital via Drink This Music (pre-order here). For fans of Mastodon, The Lord Weird Slough Feg, and Melvins.

Give ear...

Hard Truths by Die Like Gentlemen

SOME BUZZ

It’s remarkable to think that almost ten years on from the release of their 2013 debut, 'Romantic Delusions of Hell,' venerable cult rockers Die Like Gentlemen remain one of Portland Underground’s best kept secrets.

Born into the city’s heavy music scene; distinguished, eloquent and steeped in the spirit of Priest and Sabbath, for too long the Pacific Northwest’s gain has very much been the wider world’s loss.

However, this year all that should change. The band makes a thunderous return and with it bring their progressive rock leanings, deft song writing, heavy metal riffs, and well-warranted self-confidence on 'Hard Truths' (2023), their fifth studio album and most ambitious and cohesive work yet.

Photograph by Stephanie Savenkoff

The last few years have been a challenge for everyone in our little town of Portland: the politics, the pandemic, the isolation, the wildfires, the protests, the crime, the poverty, the addicted, and the toll of all this upon our collective mental well-being.

This album, years in the making, was written against this backdrop of turmoil, always keeping in mind that we cannot defeat our demons without first staring them in the face and acknowledging them for what they are: an aspect of ourselves.

'Hard Truths' is a swirling tempest of heavy metal and classic rock, in keeping with the band’s Odysseus-like approach to exploration, rocking hard against prevailing winds of change. A full hour of twists and turns, wails and screams, passion and precision, and through it all, grappling with some very hard truths about ourselves and the world.

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