#it just also happens to be what's allowing him to keep being alive. bcs without the rage his core just withers and dies

[racke7]

Ectoplasm and Jason Todd

Danny is wandering around Gotham (visiting, chasing a ghost, running from GIW, attending college, etc) and stumbles across Jason.

Jason who is flaring his ecto-signature like a madman (is he trying to get into trouble?).

Danny drags the guy into a nearby alley to give the guy some kind of crash-course on how not to do that.

Jason isn't sure why this guy grabbed him and dragged him into an alley, but if it's a fight he wants, Jason would be able to fight more freely in an alley, so he doesn't struggle. (Does he know that Jason is Red Hood? Does he think that Jason is a random civilian? Is it just him, or does this guy have really cold hands?)

Jason isn't sure why this guy is now trying to... ask him to meditate? The fuck is going on? But if it's not a fight, then... maybe it's fine to just listen to the weirdo? Taking a few deep breaths isn't going to hurt him.

Danny is very proud of himself for guiding the ecto-flaring guy through how to not flare his ecto-signature. He's such a good teacher.

And then Jason collapses.

Turns out, Jason has been using his anger to create a feedback-loop that artificially raises his ectoplasm-levels.

Ghosts need ectoplasm to live, but they'll also produce ectoplasm when feeling strong emotions. For most ghosts, this a bit like saying "everyone needs a good cry every now and then". For Jason, he's been basically aiming a gun at his own face for the adrenaline-rush. Constantly.

So, Danny is now holding onto a barely-conscious person who desperately needs more ectoplasm. As in, this is a medical emergency, and every second probably counts.

Danny, being that he wasn't planning on needing to carry around some kind of ectoplasm-container at all times (who the fuck does that? His parents, that's who), is now desperately trying to problem-solve this.

Danny realizes that, actually, even in his human form? Danny has a lot of ectoplasm in his body. Enough that he could probably save this guy by... feeding him his blood.

Cue intimately sexy reverse-vampire scene.

And oh boy, if Danny's blood doesn't taste fantastic to Jason's ecto-starved self.

[goldenlikedayl1ght]

born to die - m. murdock

a/n: IM NOT DEAD i am very busy with finals but this has been rattling around the old noggin for a while now. i took a lot of inspiration from @ellephlox 's fic strawberry rhubarb which i 100% reccomend bc its better than most fics including this one! hope you enjoy! as always reblogs and comments are always appreciated! <3 warnings: oh boy. torture (cutting, burning) some sexually suggestive talk (nothing happens but it's not consensual) readers dad abused her, nightmares, lots of major character death (but not permeant) ANGST!!! but with a happy ending! kidnapping, medical stuff, cursing, and if i missed anything, let me know! word count: 4.8k summary: as matt murdock's wife, your life is rather full of surprises. getting kidnapped by wilson fisk takes the cake as the worst one. pairing: matt murdock x wife!reader now playing: born to die - lana del rey "choose your last words, this is the last time/'cause you and i, we were born to die"

You would think after patching him up too many times to count, five years without him, and countless sleepless nights worrying if he was alive, you would think you’d be used to Matt Murdock and his world of surprises.

And then you get kidnapped, so maybe you’re not so immune to surprises.

It’s really such a shame too, because you’re storming out of the apartment, too angry to take notice of your surroundings.

Silly, foolish, ditzy you.

Because it isn’t like Matt hasn’t told you time and time again that you need to be careful, especially when you go out alone at night. But he’s so angry that he doesn’t even think about the potential dangers of Hell’s Kitchen at three a.m. when Daredevil has been tucked away for the night and Matt Murdock comes back out to play.

He’s been taking more and more patrols because with Fisk being out of prison he can’t help but be constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

How silly he was to think that maybe he could have it all—A successful law firm, good friends and a loving wife.

Silly, foolish, ditzy Matt.

But after a week of nonstop patrols, you’re both fed up and tired, and above all, you’re yearning for each other. Neither of you allow yourselves to be totally happy all the time. It would just make everything too easy.

So, after yelling at each other over, what? Patrols? Cases? Burnt dinners? You’re freezing on the streets, and you get about five blocks before you stop and rub your eyes.

This is dumb, you rationalize. Of course, you’re both stressed out and tired, but you’ve gotten through rougher times before, and you both made an oath. To each other, in front of his God, to love each other no matter what.

You realize you left your wedding ring on the table, the ghost of the metal around your finger haunting you. You were dumb for leaving and Matt was dumb for telling you to go. You’re made for each other.

You turn around to go back to your shared apartment, and then, someone grabs you from behind. Your first instinct is to yell for your husband, but you don’t get the chance to before you’re knocked out, by what you can only guess to be a gun or maybe a large fist.

• • •

You wake up in this dingy room, the lighting not suitable for much of anything except to make you afraid. The set up is almost comical and in a fucked up away, stereotypical for a kidnapping. You’re tied up to a chair, and the lights shine only bright enough so you can see shadows and rats scurrying along.

The air is this weird musk of salt and earth, and you realize you’re near the docks, and that’s about all you know about your current location.

Your head is still pounding from whatever it was you were hit with, but you can see another chair a few feet from you and a wooden table with various weapons laying on it. You don’t feel good about this one. Also on the table is an old school record player. You have no idea what the intention is with it.

You try to keep your cool, knowing that wherever you wander, your husband will not be very far off. That whatever is happening, he will be coming to find you no matter how upset he is for whatever it was you were fighting about earlier.

And then, out of the shadows, there he is. 

But he’s too big to be Matt, and he has a man standing next to him.

Frank, maybe?

And then you realize who this man is.

He’s Wilson Fisk, the kingpin who has done nothing but torture and kill people, shoving it in Matt’s face for years. Matt only met you after Fisk was put back in prison, and you know at some point in the five-year blip without Matt, he had escaped prison.

So, this is the first time you’ve had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Fisk. When he meets your eye, you do nothing but stare.

“Good evening, Mrs. Murdock. It’s a shame we must meet under these circumstances.” He tells you, taking a seat in front of you. His henchman stands behind the chair.

“It’s regretful to say the least.” You tell him, not intending to make any more of an enemy out of him than Matt already has, not right now.

“I wanted to congratulate you on your wedding. I remember my own, it was a rather special day.”

You know that was the day Matt took him down. The night that he, Karen and Foggy took him down.

“I’ve heard stories. It seemed like a lovely day.”

“You’re a much more gracious guest than your counterpart.”

“Well, I’m sure people say similar things about you and yours.”

He seems to consider this for a moment before nodding.

“You’re probably right about that, Mrs. Murdock. I wanted to tell you I’m terribly sorry these are the circumstances in which we are finally introduced. But it seems Mr. Murdock has been interested in finding out more about my endeavors. And you see, we simply cannot have that. I made a promise not to hurt Miss Page or Mr. Nelson but it seems you were not included in that deal.” Of course not, it had been a long time before you showed up. “So, you’re how we’re going to send Mr. Murdock a message.”

Huh.

So, this is how you die.

Well, you might as well go out with a bang.

“You see, Mrs. Murdock, When I was a boy—”

“I’m going to stop you, Mr. Fisk, because your sob story is rather dull. I know who you are. You were beaten by your father, just like I was. The difference is that I don’t use that as an excuse to murder my way to the top of the food chain. And you can torture me, assault me, whatever you feel you need to do. But if you think for a second that I’ll forget who’s coming to stop you, you are sorely mistaken. And if you think he’ll ever stop trying to find me, you do not know my husband very well.”

Fisk stares at you for a while, his gaze hardening into a glare.

“You’re right. You do know who I am. Because we’re rather similar.” He stands up and nods to the man nearby. “If Murdock can hear her far from here, make sure he hears her screaming.”

Then Wilson Fisk walks away, and you are left with the sickening gaze of a man who has no good intentions.

 The man goes to the record player and starts to play a song you recognize quickly as “Fly Me To The Moon” by Frank Sinatra. As he does this, he speaks,

“Hello, Mrs. Murdock. I’m John.” You stay quiet, and he just enjoys the song.

He picks up a knife from the table and goes to you, this grin on his face that makes you sick.

But you remember a trick from not only your childhood, but also from Frank who told you the key to remaining strong under torture—Distraction.

You stare straight ahead, trying not to mind as the man runs the knife over your skin. You think about Matt. You imagine him in his wedding suit, the smile he had on as you approached him down that aisle. You think about when he asked you to marry him, and—

A sharp pain slashes down your arm, cutting open the shirt you’re wearing. You yell in pain, before moving in to try and take deep breaths.

You can do this. Matt will be here soon.

You continue to breathe through the anxiety and the pain, trying not to think too hard about when John hums along to Sinatra’s voice, guiding his knife around your skin. Another cut finds itself on your shoulder.

This goes on for a while, with the classic song looping over and over again. John never seems to tire of it, no matter how badly you will for it to end. As the song ends in one particularly good loop, John hits your face hard, and your nose starts bleeding.

You try to think of Matt’s voice. You don’t listen to John’s torments, knowing it will only egg him on further. You just want him to burn at that point.

By the end of… Countless Frank Sinatra serenades, you have cuts littered around your body, dry blood on your face from your nose and tears running down your face. When he’s eventually done, two men cut you out from the chair and drag you along to a smaller, darker room. You are left in there with a small meal, and you just huddle against a corner, nearest a barred window out of your reach.

And then, you begin to speak for the first time since you saw Fisk.

“Matt,” You whisper, “I’m by the docks.” You tell him, not sure if he can even hear you. “Please, I’m sorry for everything, please just come find me..” You mumble, too tired and aching to try and do more.

• • •

The next day, or what you presume to be the next day since you have no way to tell how much time has passed, you’re woken up by a loud banging on the door of your.. cell..?

The same two men enter and drag you back to the room, where John waits for you.

“How are you feeling today, Mrs. Murdock?” He asks.

You glare.

“Fuck you.”

He laughs and shakes his head.

“What happened to the polite young woman Mr. Fisk and I met yesterday?”

You’re filled with unprecedented anger.

“I said, Fuck you!”

He wastes no time, grabbing a lighter off the table and starting the record player again. Once more, Frank Sinatra’s voice fills the room, and you’re pretty sure once you’re done with John, and then Fisk, you’ll bring Sinatra back from the dead just to kill him again.

You’ve never really been a violent person, but you suspect that it lives in the worst parts of you, just as it did with your own father. You’re much better at keeping it all at bay. Besides, it does you no good to be violent while you have Matt. He’s plenty angry for the both of you.

Oh, Matt..

This is how time passes for you. While John tortures you, burning you or carving into your skin, you think about how great it will be to choke the life out of the singer… And you think about Matt. When you’re in your dark little room, you talk to him. Even if he can’t hear you, you must hope that he’s looking for you.

• • •

Days pass. How long have you been here?

One night, you have the following dream:

It starts out as a memory. A memory of you and Matt. You’re lying in bed with him, and the sunlight is hitting his face just right. You love this memory, it’s one you recall often. He just has this angelic look to him.

Yeah, most people who encounter him, especially at night, meet the devil. But occasionally, you get glimpses of the angel you know he is. He’s sleeping, and you think in this state, he is the most relaxed you’ll ever see him.

Then, before your eyes, the dream shifts and you’re in this black void, on the ground.

Foggy, Karen, Frank, and Matt stand around you. You run to Matt but hit a clear shield keeping him from you. You bang on the glass, well, maybe it’s glass, you don’t know. You try to scream, but your voice never reaches your ears. You begin to look around, looking for a way out.

An eerie version of ‘Fly Me To The Moon’ plays as you glance over to Foggy and watch in horror as his body begins to turn to ash, just like Matt and Karen did when they were blipped. You scream, banging against the shield, but your screams are silent.

You glance back and see the same thing happening to Frank. No, no, no! It was never supposed to happen this way! Frank and Foggy, they lived! They got their time! They don’t die like this!

And then Karen starts too. You start sobbing, not wanting her to go. You had missed her so much, and you only just got her back. But soon enough, she’s gone too, and you’re left in front of your husband.

His hand comes up to rest on the forcefield and he frowns softly.

He says your name gently, and then adds, “You know it couldn’t last forever, right?”

And then just as quickly as before, he is gone again. You remain there in that void, sobbing and screaming though no noise reaches you. This can’t be it! You just got him back, you needed him! You couldn’t take being alone for another five years… Or more…

The dream transforms and you’re in this grand ballroom. People are dancing elegantly and you’re in this.. obnoxious ball gown. But across the room, you can see Matt. He’s dressed in an all-black suit, with a red masquerade mask covering his face. The mask has little red devil horns on it.

Now, the orchestra plays their rendition of Sinatra’s romantic classic. And you step towards Matt, attempting to make your way towards him, only to be met with a masked man, beginning to twirl you around.

You jump from man to man, until eventually, you’re dancing with a man in an all-white suit, a man you quickly recognize as Fisk. No matter how hard you try to escape his grasp, he holds on tighter. The two of you stop dancing now, amid the crowd of moving bodies.

Fisk grabs your chin and tilts it in Matt’s direction, just in time for you to see him bowing to another woman, kissing the back of her hand. Your eyes widen and you think, this can’t be real.

“When I kill you,” Fisk says, “He’ll move on. You’re easily replaceable, Mrs. Murdock.”

And then, in an instant, the woman with Matt pulls out a dagger and plunges it deeply into his abdomen. It’s then that the other dancers, besides you, Fisk, Matt, and this mystery woman, disappear. Matt turns to you and falls to his knees, clutching his stomach.

He tries to crawl to you, blood seeping onto his hands and the beautiful ballroom floor. He yells your name, and the woman stabs him again from behind, and you watch as your husband dies. You hear him screaming, hear him yelling your name. But Wilson Fisk keeps you in place. You can do nothing but watch as Matt Murdock meets his end again, unable to save him. You start to scream, thrashing against Fisk, ready to claw your way to Matt.

You wake up screaming, the nightmare haunting you. A guard bangs on your door, yelling at you to keep it down.

It was just a nightmare, you tell yourself. Maybe Matt heard your screams.

Maybe he’s already dead.

You force yourself not to listen to the voice in your head that says that.

• • •

One day, Fisk visits again, only this time, He’s covered in blood. That damn song is still playing.

You just stare. They have long since stopped tying you up, recognizing that you no longer have the energy to try and fight back.  He has this sick grin on his face.

“Good evening, Mrs. Murdock.” You say nothing. “Have you been enjoying your stay with us?”

You glare.

“I hope Matt kills you when he gets here, because it will be a lot less painful for you if he does it instead of me.”

Mr. Fisk just laughs at this and tosses something at your feet. You get down off the chair to see what it is.

Your face goes pale with realization. You pick it up and slip it on your thumb, with it being too big for your other fingers. Matt’s wedding ring. You know it’s his, it has your name engraved in braille on the inside. How did he get this?

As if reading your mind, Fisk speaks again. “I took it off his body after I killed him.”

Your head shoots up to him. What did he say?

“No.” You deny. “Fuck off, I don’t—I don’t believe you.”

“Your husband is dead, Mrs. Murdock. I killed him with my bare hands because he was stupid enough to come after you. Your friends will mourn you and Matt Murdock for a while, and the city will come to the realization that Daredevil did nothing but harm. I win, Mrs. Murdock.”

You feel tears start to fill your eyes, and you realize, no. He hasn’t won because you’re still alive.

Maybe not for long, but you are.

You gather the rest of your energy and leap up, lunging at the large man covered in the man you love’s blood. And there’s a part of you that gets it. Okay, universe, you win. Most people don’t get a second chance like the two of you did. And now he’s dead, and soon you will be too. You can at least try to kill Fisk.

But you barely get a scratch in, yelling and screaming obscenities at him, as John grabs your arms from behind pulling you away. Fisk laughs and shakes his head again.

“It’s been lovely knowing you, Mrs. Murdock. I’m sorry you’ll have to die, you had so much potential. John, when you’re done doing whatever you’d like to her, kill her.” You hear him say it, but you’re blinded by rage, by grief.

John laughs behind you and forces you back into the chair, tying you back up once more. He looks at you, enraged and grief stricken, and just shakes his head.

“You and I are going to have a lot of fun.”

He leaves for a few minutes, and you realize this is the first time you’ve been left alone in this room. You tug at the knots and realize that while John is a gifted torturer, he’s not much of a knot tier.

So you manage to wiggle out of the rope, approaching the table in front of you. You don’t have much time. Okay, maybe you won’t be able to kill Fisk, but John will do. You take a golf club off the table in front of you and turn to the record player.

You begin to smash the thing in, angrily cursing at it as Frank Sinatra’s voice fades off into nothing. When the song ends, the lights turn off. And then, red flood lights turn on in their place.

A back up generator. Lovely. You think that your smashing of the record player couldn’t possibly make the whole building’s power go off, but you don’t really care at that moment.

You’re tired. You won’t make it far, but you need to try. You grasp the club and open the door, being greeted with a man you don’t recognize. You smack him in the face with the club hard enough for him to fall to the ground.

The red lighting adds an eerie tone to the hallways as you creep around, concussing various henchmen that Fisk has working for him. You don’t mean to kill these ones, only John.

But you’re running out of stamina, peeking around corners. And that’s when you see him. John is just standing there like he knows you’re there.

“Come out to play, Mrs. Murdock?” He calls, approaching the corner where you are waiting on the other side.

You focus on his footsteps, taking a swing around the corner when you know he’s close enough. You hear a sharp crack! As he falls, and you can’t see the blood in this lighting. Good. You begin to hit his head in, sobs mixing with yelling. You hate him. You want him to die before you’re killed.

But you don’t get the pleasure, because a pair of arms are pulling you off him, and you begin yelling.

“No!” You yelp. “No, Fuck you! Let go of me! Stop!” You think it’s another one of his goons, and you just want to be able to finish the job before you die. The figure forces you to drop the club. “Please, stop, don’t hurt me—”

But he’s saying your name and turning you around to see him. You know that voice.

“Sweetheart, hey, it’s just me—” He pants, his hands going to your cheeks. “It’s me, It’s just me. I’ve got you.”

And you can’t believe your eyes.

“Matt..?” You whimper, not able to believe it. “No, you’re dead, this has to be—”

And then, Matt does something he wouldn’t do for anyone who wasn’t his wife. He pulls off his helmet so you can see his face. Oh.

“I’m right here. I’ve got you.” He says softly, his thumb gently rubbing against your skin.

That’s when you start to sob, falling against him, no energy left to carry yourself. His arms wrap around you, and you say it again.

“He told me you were dead..”

“I know.. I’m sorry, I don’t know how he got my ring but we’ve gotta get you out of here.” He tells you.

You’re so tired. You’re slumping against him as you try to walk, the warmth radiating off his body just drawing you to sleep.

The last thing you hear before you fall asleep is Matt’s voice, begging you to stay awake.

• • •

You see flashes. Your parents, your dad. Nightmares of Fisk killing Karen, Foggy, Frank, and worst of all, Matt. You see John’s sickening grin on the body of spiders, and you’re chased by his cruel laughter.

But the dreams are filmier compared to what’s happening around you. You know Claire shows up at some point, and you’re thankful to her. Karen sits next to you sometimes, petting your hair, or sometimes it’s Foggy, talking your ear off.

You have fever dreams of Frank in full military gear, tormenting you.

“Not so tough now, huh, girl?” He teases. “You really thought you’d kill the big bad wolf? Solve all your boyfriend’s problems?”  

You say to him, “Husband, He’s my husband.”

• • •

Even in your dreams, where you were slashed and burned aches, and you long for the pain to end.

You wake up only once throughout these dreams, and it’s when Karen is playing music to try and calm you from your insistent nightmares.

Only one song snaps you out of it, and you hear it clear as day.

‘Fly me to the moon,” Sinatra sings, “Let me play among the stars,’

He only gets through a few more lines before you’re sitting up on the couch, screaming.

“No! Stop, please!” You cry, and in an instant, Matt’s arms are around you. “Matt, please, don’t let him hurt me, please! Please don’t die, don’t let him keep hurting me!” You beg, in a hazed, frenzied state.

“I’ve got you, No one’s going to hurt you..”

Karen turns off the music somewhere deep in the apartment.

“No..” You begin to grow tired in his arms again. “Matty, please.. You can’t die, please..” You whimper out, continuing to mumble out pleads as you fall back into your weird dream state.

• • •

You really wake up two days later. Matt’s hand is clasped over yours, and he’s just.. Sitting on the floor next to the couch, praying into your clasped hands.

Praying for what, you don’t know.

Your body aches. But something in you tells you you’re safe.

“Matt…?” You whisper gently, and his head shoots up.

“Hey..” He says softly, one hand leaving yours, coming up to brush your hair out of your face. “There she is..”

“You’re alive..”

He seems a little concerned you still had some doubts about this.

“I am. Fisk lied to you.. He never even touched me.” You nod.

“Did I kill him? The man you found me..”

“No. He’s just in a coma, I checked. He’ll be brought to justice.”

“I only wanted him dead when I thought you were too..” Because really, you would have nothing if Matt wasn’t there. Nothing to live for. When he was blipped away, you had the hardest time readjusting to life. Now you know if he died again, you’d probably go off the rails.

No love story is saved more than once. You used up all your luck. Now it will be doomed if he’s ever killed again.

“I know.” He said gently.

“How long have I been out? How long was I in there?”

“A week, and then you were out for four days here. They got you good, baby..” He says gently. “I’m sorry I didn’t find you earlier.”

You frown softly.

“You did find me though. That’s all that really matters anymore.” You know you’ll be nursing scars for a long time. Physical or not.

“Still..” He said gently, and he brings your hand up to kiss it gently. “And I’m sorry I told you to leave that night. I was just upset, but this past week and half.. I feel like I’ve been going crazy without you. No matter how mad at you I am, I never want to spend another night without holding you. Knowing that you could have been…” His voice breaks, and he just sighs, taking a moment to lean his head on your hand. “I love you, so much.” He kisses your palm again.

How are you so tired again? All you’ve done is talk to him, but it feels like you just ran a marathon.

“I love you. It’s why I married you. Because you and I, we were always meant to be with each other. No matter what.”

He smiles weakly and reaches over to the coffee table to grab something. He slips it on your finger and for the first time in over a week, your wedding ring is back where it belongs. You see Matt is wearing his. Your Matt. Your husband. The only one you were ever meant to be with.

“Did Claire patch me up? I remember her being here..” He nods softly.

“Yeah, we.. we really owe her one. She was a huge help..”

“Karen and Foggy were here… And Frank?”

“No, no, Frank’s still in Illinois, I think?” You nod softly. “You were mumbling to him, though. I heard you… you were telling him you had a husband.”

You would laugh if it didn’t hurt.

“He called you my boyfriend. I had to correct him.” You grin.

“That’s my girl.” He hums. Matt gently lifts you so you can sit up and drink some water. Then, he climbs onto the couch and brings you close. His arms wrap around your freshly wounded skin and you have a rare moment of gratefulness for his blindness.

You sit in silence for a while.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks gently.

You think about it all. The torture, the cuts, burns, the small room. Fisk’s laughter, John’s grin. But something sticks out to you.

“Fisk said I was just like him.”

“What?”

“We.. We grew up similar, Matt, I mean.. What if he’s right? What if the only thing separating him and I is one bad move?”

Your husband frowns and shakes his head.

“Sweetheart, you are the.. the most amazing person I’ve ever met. You’re the complete antithesis of Wilson Fisk. Yeah, you grew up like him, but you’re living proof that you don’t have to go down the path he did just because of his background. You and I both know that there will never be a world where you end up like him. Especially not with me.”

You find comfort with his words. Not only did you make every choice not to be like Fisk, but you must’ve also made all the right decisions if in the end, you ended up with Matt. Oh, it won’t be easy, you know that for sure. You’ll never be able to listen to Frank Sinatra, and your upcoming nights are filled with nightmares and hauntings.

But one day you’ll be okay. One day You’ll be able to sit in the silence without thinking about it. One day you’ll get the image of dead Matt out of your head. You’ve spent many nights wondering about who will go first, you or him.

And then you realize the best-case scenario is that the two of you die at the same time, never living another moment without each other.

How would there ever be a world where you and your husband weren’t with each other, even just for a moment?

[fatuismooches]

Hi!!! This is my first time saying anything here, so yayyy! But I say that one ask from another anon talking about how Dottore had never recorded fragile!reader's voice before and then forgot what it sounds like, and my brain made some jumps and--

I like to think that sometimes, whether when Dottore is just working in the room while reader sleeps (I like to think that he's modified himself enough that he doesn't need as much sleep as regular humans) or if he's also in the bed with you, that sometimes, reader's sleeping form reminds him a little too much of when reader was in a coma. Or perhaps, even worse, and that reader's time had come while he was sleeping/working. Immediately, he has to reassure himself that you're not, in fact, dead, by either going to check their pulse and keeping his hand there longer than it needs to be (what if they die the second he takes it off??) or, if he was closer to them or sleeping with them (in the literal sense), by even just listening to it. And he tries to rationalize it with himself (bc he's so i denial, I already know it) by being like "noooo, i'm not worried!! I'm a great doctor, and I have nothing to worry about!! I'm just... checking for abnormalities!!" as if he isn't just doing it to make sure they're still alive.

Idk, the thought just popped into my head. He's lost them before without a chance of saying goodbye, and he never wants it to happen again, especially if this time they'll be gone for good.

I'd like to think that reader wasn't really aware of it until one night when he was making a little more noise than usual, and they woke up groggily to find him with their ear on their chest, desperately holding onto you as if you were going to die any second. And then the second he realized you were awake, moved off was like "Hello, I'm not doing anything sus whattt"

So now reader knows he does it, but allows it because they think it's kind of cute, but also because they know that he would never admit his fears.

Anyway, I'm kinda tired, so I don't know if this actually makes any sense. But slay!!

Thank you for feeding us Dottore content, and I hope you have a good day or night!!

You've known Zandik for a long time. So you are very aware that he has weaknesses. Yes, even though the scholar tried to hide it, his walls would slowly chip away during those late nights spent in the dorm or on expeditions. But Dottore? After you woke up, you wondered if Dottore had any weaknesses. Dottore seemed to be a man of no fear, but perhaps you should have expected that because what would someone as God-like as him have to fear now? He has much power in his grasp, surely there is nothing that could bother him. He's no longer the same Zandik you once knew, and that's okay really, but you just wonder to yourself sometimes. Little did you know Dottore's one and only fear was about you.

Il Dottore considers himself a rational man in every possible subject area. Yes, he does not allow himself to be swayed by anything as irrational as emotion and instead focuses on logic. Whether his final decision is cruel or unethical is not something he cares about. But you... you are the exception. You are the variable he cannot control. And so irrationality is one of the things he despises, swore to himself he'd never be a victim of, but here he was anyway. Succumbing to an irrational mindset is the last thing he thought he'd do.

Often times when Dottore sleeps with you, he doesn't actually sleep. He gets into the bed to appease you, because it brings you comfort, (your words) lays there for a bit until you fall asleep, and resumes his work. He is just far, far too busy to stay. But, nowadays, he finds it even harder than usual to say. Why? Because of his irrational mind, once again. He needs to know that you are alive. Which is a dumb fear really, you're not going to die, you're not going to leave, your body is stable (for now) so there's no need to worry. But he needs to know. He needs confirmation. You know. He really hates that you've done this to him. He hates it. But he can't blame you, only himself, because if he cured you already he would never have to deal with irrationality again.

Dottore is used to the quietness of a human heart, from his experiments of course, clicking his tongue in annoyance from how easily they died and feeling no emotion. But your heart, if your heart stopped... well, his madness would not be transcribed to paper very well, because it would be too hard to describe. But he denies that. And he especially denies it to you. He denies it, so that's why he finds himself counting your heart's beats per minute anyway. But now you know that even the great Il Dottore has a fear and weakness. After all, when it's only the two of you, he is only Zandik, the same man who fell hard for you all those centuries ago. But that's okay. You promised to always be there, even if he doesn't want you to be.

[electricbathsalt]

HELLO HI YOU MENTIONED CHISAKI HAVING A COMPLEX RELATIONSHIP WITH HUMANITY AND I AM HERE TO HAPPY RANT ABOUT IT

it's like 2:30am and i should have gone to bed a while ago so this is gonna be a lil incoherent probably but anyways. yes. 100% yes i love that. i have so many ideas bouncing around my head about chisaki not being human, or like getting some secondary quirk in a secondary quirk wave that *makes* him (in his eyes) less than/not quite human, and also i sometimes use it/its pronouns for him because Reasons (i am projecting my own use of it/its onto him), and I also headcanon him as a) FtMtX (third gender/maverique), b) aroallo and gay and romance-repulsed, and c) autistic + low emotional empathy, and all of those things would 100% play into having a complicated and not-entirely-positive relationship with humanity in general (and his own humanity!) ESPECIALLY given that he spent formative years in the yakuza, which is bound to be a wildly conservative organization and an environment EXTREMELY hostile to several of those core immutable traits. ykno?

anyways you mentioned him having a complex relationship to other people/humans and humanity in general like he doesn't consider himself one so that's what prompted this. also please rant back i want to hear e v e r y t h i n g

Oh my god oh my god YES!! Okay I actually just woke up (yes my sleep schedule is fucked rn) so this is most definitely not gonna be coherent either buuut bro that is SO SIMILAR TO EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKINGGG

Okay this is by far the most difficult topic for me to try to articulate/explain bc I don’t really know how to, but I will try my damndest!! Yes. I think Chisaki has a very, very complicated relationship with both his own humanity and humanity as whole, in the way that he like. Does not view himself as human, and does not think of humans as the same as him, because they are on, like, separate playing fields. It’s not that he necessarily thinks of everyone else as worthless, or that he’s above them inherently (unequal)—he believes himself to be in a sort of limbo. He is neither worthless nor worthy. He is not human, therefore he cannot adhere to the same principles and standards of humanity. He is not human, and that is why he is never treated like one.

I think he subconsciously detached himself from it. He hated how the one person he (subconsciously) thought would one day view him as human and accept him, called him a monster and outcast him, like everyone else. The one person who showed him kindness with no catch (in his mind, because… yikes). That’s when he fully accepted that he’ll never be seen as human, that he is not human, and will never be treated like something with value/emotion, like something mortal and thinking and multi-dimensional, which is why he finally decided to just take matters into his own hands, with no regard to anything else. Why follow the morals of humans if he is not one? You don’t expect a wild animal not to maul you. Because for an animal, it is necessary. There’s no malice. They hunt and kill you because they need to eat and feed and protect. Is that not him? Is he not doing all this out of necessity? To keep himself and his family alive?

(Although, he doesn’t perceive himself as an animal. Just as not human). He believes he can’t be human. He believes he can no longer allow himself to be human anyway, because being human is too large an obstacle to his goals. He has to be a monster.

And kinda on the side of how he perceives other humans—it’s like, he’s more vital than them to the plan (which is the most important thing in the world), so he is above them in the way they are pawns whereas the plan cannot happen without him and Eri. But it’s dependent on his quirk, bc without his quirk, he is no longer Overhaul, who is the one who is vital to the plan; he is just Chisaki Kai. Chisaki Kai was not vital to anything and was just some not-really-human with a debt to pay off. Chisaki Kai is not worthwhile. Chisaki Kai is below other, real humans. So it’s split—Overhaul is above everyone else (in importance, in the fact he is not human. He is a monster). Chisaki Kai is below everyone else (he is indebted and clinging to the dregs of humanity he wants to have). The common ground is that both Overhaul and Chisaki Kai are inhuman accessories to the Shie Hassaikai. The Shie Hassaikai is more important than them.

He does not yearn to be human, he yearns for the casual acceptance and belonging that comes alongside being human. Humans have never treated him like how they treat other humans. He is not human.

Uggfhhhh I can’t tell if I’m explaining this exactly how I mean it. My vocabulary is just lacking I fear 😭 I have trouble streamlining my thoughts a lot. I feel like I have more to say but no way to properly express it, I guess. Also all your headcanons are extremely real and definitely add onto this/play a part in it!! I cannot imagine that the Yakuza would be all that accepting/an at all safe environment (ah. Well. That’s not true bc I have lol. I don’t like making sad stories 💀 but in canon… definitely not. Especially with Pops’ apparent falling-out with his daughter over her marriage 😒).

I don’t know if this all is what you had in mind or not but I think it has at least some semblance to what I think some of his mindsets are. My brain is a lil fried though. Also please please please elaborate. On everything. I wanna hear all your takes

[thewardenisonthecase]

Hawke and LI ask list

@doomednarrative bc i hit post before i could answer so i had to deleted it and remake the post

anyways. I'm always taking asks from my own ask games!

How did their first meeting go? What where their first impression of the other?

Everything was fine until Fenris realized she was a mage- /j

Like, for the most part, it really was fine y'know. Like Elizabeth thought it was a regular job, and was mildly annoyed when it wasnt but hey, the handsome elf is a nice surprised.

Did she expect that he would end up sticking around for a lot longer? No, but she thought he was good enough in battle that she would be able to bring him along to the Deep Roads for help. She was also, mildly annoyed at discovering Fenris hates mages, but honestly, because Fenris is not an asshole about that during that first convo (aka, him saying that oh it looks like im not grateful but i am), she was like ok its fine.

Fenris on the other hand, its kind of a mixed bag. Because at first he's glad that like someone is so willing to just help him, even tho there was some deceit happening thanks to Anso, but he is VERY wary when he realizes she's a mage. She doesnt do the greatest job of reassuring him in that first meeting, but because Elizabeth was so willing to help, he's willing to also give her the benefit of the doubt.

2. What attracted them to each other?

I think it was their willingness to be open to the other despite their differences and being sympathetic to the other's struggle (in fenris's case, he's sympathetic about hawke being like. fucking poor and living with gamlen).

Like, Elizabeth, while did try to maybe make Fenris hate mages less, was always very understamdable about where he was coming from. Like, yes, they would argue about it, but she never undermined his history, and always tried to be open about the fact that maybe he'd never change his mind. Also. "Oh this dude has a different world view than mine and it leads to some arguments??? I must keep annoying him"

On the other hand, while again, Fenris does have his issues with magic, the fact that despite it all, Hawke IS understanding of where he comes from was a plus to him. And again, that she was one of the first people to like want to help him without asking anything in return.

3. Between act 1 and act 2, when did those feelings began to develop?

Ok, this is hard to explain but walk with me here.

Its after Carver is sent to the wardens. For those first few months, before they found out that Carver was alive, Elizabeth was MISERABLE because she was sure her brother was dead and it was her fault. And during that time, is when Fenris learns about Bethany.

And it just kinda like. Brings them together a bit? Again its HARD to explain, but she is VERY misereable and Fenris is kinda like well shit. I said i would help with the expedition, and then i didnt go and now her brother's dead. Maybe i could...be there for her? ill just buy one drink in the hanged man.

and this sort of like, elizabeth being miserable, fenris trying to do. something. it leads to them hanging out more often, and the more they hang out, the more they learn about the other, and the more that happens, the more "well, he's/she's not so bad" and then boom. feelings. like their feelings for one another are born from that concept of if you spend too much time seeing someone you might develop feelings just bc.

4. Who developed feelings first?

I always say that Elizabeth fell first and Fenris fell harder.

It's mostly because, despite the mess that was her life at the time, Elizabeth was a little more in touch with her feelings than Fenris are, which allowed for her to slowly like him more than just a friend.

Meanwhile, I think Fenris had to first come to some terms with part of his past and being with a mage, like i think he had to overcome some few mental barriers before he could be like oh ok, i like hawke more than that.

5. Who made the first move/made their feelings known first?

ELIZABETH. She was the one who initiated flirting, and because again, she had more time to understand these feelins, she also had more time to be like ok how do i approach this. I do think that that first convo in act 2 is the moment where she does make it known that 'I am interested in you' and thank god, Fenris does pick it up.

6. What is the LI reaction to Carver/Bethany's fate?

Carver and Fenris didnt have like, the greatest friendship of all time, but he does feel bad about the whole "almost dying in the deep roads" and then the warden thing, tho i think its mostly feeling bad for Elizabeth having to loose her brother.

7. During act 1, what is the LI's thoughts on Hawke as a whole? Do they like them, can't stand them, etc?

Fenris's thoughts are a mixed bag. On one hand, Hawke is always getting into trouble and helping mages and he doesnt think that that's the greatest idea of all time. In fact, he thinks she maybe should stop doing all that.

But on the other hand, Elizabeth's constantly talking and visiting him, and aksing for his opinion on things, and listening, and then beyond mages, he sees her helping other people too, so its like ok she's not all that bad. Again, this is why i say their relationship is a mix of rivalry and friendship, bc its rivalry on the ideology part and friendship on the ACTUAL relationship part.

[tincansamurai]

oc monday!

i'm never gonna skip oc monday bc i can't shut up

original post (and a thank you again to penbrydd for doing this every week - i love it)

1. Does [x] have any friends who get them into trouble?

mat: thom does get him in situations like, for example, leaving him alone high as fuck and drunk to get his dick sucked in the back room by an off the clock bar employee lol

kaz: kaz is the friend who gets you into trouble

2. How does [x] feel about religion, their own and/or other people's?

mat: mat is like, vaguely christian. he believes in god but isn't really thinking about it that often. he was too online in certain spaces to take it seriously, even if he did go to church when his parents wanted him to. he also doesn't really think about other people's religion

kaz: does not give a fuck and doesn't really want to hear about any of it. definitely had an edgy debate atheist phase. he dealt with enough people using religion to attack him for being gay (even though he's bi, but those ppl don't care about the distinction) that he actively changes the topic if anyone brings it up. sometimes ray’s very christian curses rub off on him though, like if he's real bothered by something, kinda like they have an extra personal taboo

3. Did [x] have many friends as a child? Do they still have any of those friends now?

mat: no. he had 1. then in high school he had 2. now he still has those 2

kaz: yeah. he was kinda a class clown, like he reacted to ppl reacting to him with jokes and bullying them back. so he was totally annoying to some and was hated by a number of ppl, but he was friends with a lot of the freaks and the marginally cool scene/emo/skater kids. he's always been nice and very open/outgoing so he's never been without a friend group. he knew basically the same people from like 4th grade to high school, but he doesn't talk to any of them now. a few he would absolutely freak out about seeing so he just avoids anything to do with anyone from back then (kaz handles good exes/hookups like friends, bad exes/hookups like they're a memetic creepypasta curse where even thinking about them will kill him)

4. What is [x]'s favourite piece of clothing?

mat: he’s got a pair of super dark almost black jeans that are both incredibly comfortable and make his ass look great

kaz: BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS (don't make him choose just one pair of them that's so mean)

5. What is [x]'s biggest fear?

mat: that he’s going to always be too afraid to do anything, so he’ll end up dying so alone that no one even notices until his corpse starts to smell

kaz: that he’ll somehow make it to old age, that everything really is his fault and he actually does deserve to be kept alive like this forever. when he's less depressed: that he’ll ever need to confront the people who fucked him up the most, and that people will find out about all the things he pretends never happened

6. What does [x] want out of a relationship?

mat: he wants to be recognized, basically. and he wants to be comfortable enough to actually be able to show his whole self in the first place. turns out if you don't know yourself that's kinda hard to achieve tho

kaz: someone to actually care about him the way he cares about them for once (he was sworn off relationships for like a year until mat, and logically still thinks it was stupid to impulsively jump in so fast, but it works out)(this has been a complex for a long time before that though, and has made him purposefully put in less effort in anticipation of rejection in a loooot of relationships (expert level self-saboteur))

7. What length does [x] prefer their hair? Do they get to wear it that length?

mat: he doesn't know it but he would love having hair long enough to tie up. he was never allowed to get it longer than teenager medium shag length though. he usually keeps it kinda short. i think he starts growing it out when he starts dating kaz

kaz: he used to really like having long hair but as an adult he hates it. he likes it the length i usually draw it, but he plays around with it sometimes and lets it grow out or cuts it differently. the mohawk mullet is an occasionally returning classic if he's feeling particularly good about being a scummy piece of shit (it's a vibe iykyk)

[thisblogisblank]

Divine Influence Babeyy!! (Aka Celestial Fankids au thingy)

Finally, they're all finished!!!! Here are the Celestial Fankids I posted about a while ago, complete with a bit of lore and a few headcanons!! They're a little old, so bear with me a bit :']

General HCs:

- Despite being Celestials, because of their unique nature of having two elements, they have their own category name as well: Divines!! Which is what I'm gonna be referring to them as from now on lmao.

- Divines are born the same way their parents are; from the stars!! It takes 2 months for the Divines to be born (in total - their creation starts the first month and ends the second. For example, Seedlin, the Blassoom x Plixie fan child, took 8 months to hatch. Oof.) The first month functions as sort of the 'breeding' stage, and the second as the 'incubation' stage, producing a physical egg, just like normal monsters :]

- Speaking of the Constellations, in fact! The reason the Divines came to be in the first place is because, when each individual pair of Celestials grew close enough, their constellations fused, becoming a new one entirely! For example, instead of Ocean's Tears and Earthen Ellipse, we now have Murky Depths that appears for two months out of the year!

- With the lack of anything for the kids to do, and the giant pitfall a few hundred feet into the continent, obviously Starhenge wasn't exactly the best nursery for young monsterlings. In order to remedy this, the Celestials created Divine Island, a home in a sort of pocket dimension that would allow them to raise their kids in a safe, stimulating environment.

- Divine Island is only accessable to Celestials and Divines, but normal monsters can sit just outside of it in order to get the occupants' attention. They'd need to know where to go though, of course.

- The Cataclysm happened when the Divines were super young and unable to understand what was going on. They were locked inside of Divine Island for their own safety and left to fend for themselves until they were strong enough to leave, when they were young adults. Once they left they learned about what happened and became guardians and leaders to the monsters that were still around.

- also they don't know about Celestial Island or their parents being alive. Yet.

Pluchere, the Attmoz x Loodvigg fanchild:

- The eldest Divine, Pluchere was defaulted to leader because of his age.

- When he gets mad, he creates super dark storm clouds. No thunder or lightning or anything, just. Really dark clouds.

- He can travel through shadows!! As long as a shadow is as big or bigger than him area-wise, he can meld into it and hide and sneak through them. However, if the shadow disappears, like if the lights are turned on or something, he'll pop back out.

- He's got super stubby legs (guess which parent he got that from lmao), so he prefers to fly on clouds instead of walking. The only exception is in Divine Island bc he'll knock everything over.

- He's got a plush Tweedle that his parents gave him as a baby, and now he can't sleep without it - he even learned how to sew so he can keep it in good shape!!

- he's eepy. Often. Got it from Loodvigg, can't sleep well when he's supposed to, and is just constantly tired. Luckily, the dewlap around his neck functions as a built-in pillow!

- Because of his third eye, he's got kinda-sorta clairvoyance. He can see people's greatest regrets and worst memories (albeit they're kinda fuzzy) and can predict disasters!! He absolutely despises his powers because he's being bombarded with horrible things 24/7-

Condair, the Glaishur x Furnoss fanchild:

- he gets his name from a cloud of mist that follows him wherever he goes (which I never draw smh) - his fur is extremely cold, causing moisture to crystalize upon impact, and his skin is extremely hot, causing moisture to evaporate on impact, which makes it stick to his fur- you get the idea.

- Despite the info above, he can, for the most part, regulate his temperature!! For example, he can make himself cool enough to touch without burning anybody.

- After he left Divine Island for the first time, he learned about the Fire elementals and managed to save them far earlier than in canon by just. Diving headfirst into the Living Core and digging them a way out. Pros of being simultaneously the hottest and coldest being in the universe ig?

- Anger. Issues. He has a lot of abandonment issues because of his parents just straight up leaving him and the others behind, and he copes by getting mad and setting things on fire. Luckily the other Divines know how to help calm him down :']

- ironically HATES Boskus (Boskuses? Boski?? Idfk-), they just. Freak him tf out.

- yes, his fur is as soft as it looks, but unless he likes you or you are one of the other Divines, good luck trying to touch it.

- has a soft spot for kids, funnily enough. He can't bring himself to be mad at him the same way he gets mad at everything else.

Seedlin, the Blassoom x Plixie fanchild

- Uses his tail to grip onto things, or to balance himself in the air, kind of like a blubberfly!!

- hate hate HATES having to walk on the ground, it just feels. Bad™. Gotta be flying or he will cry.

- His glass skull doubles as a fully-functioning terrarium!!! There's a bunch of moss and other such greens in there, along with the centerpiece - a bright pink flower, just like his father's :]

- Loves sleeping in the sun!! Y'know, terrarium and all. He even has some lights above his bed!! How the hell does he sleep? No clue smh.

- speaking of which, he flies in his sleep! The others have to drag him down to the ground when he sleeps, or he'll end up not actually resting.

- Not only is he capable of controlling plants and plasma, he's able to combine his two elements and create these indestructible plasma plants!! They're bright pink and feel kinda gummy-ish?? Freaky, but neat!

- Speaking of which, he has a giant monster-eating (not really) flytrap made of that same stuff! His name's Audie and he's Seedlin's pet and best friend :]

..he also tends to try and eat anything that he can fit in his mouth, including the Divines (minus Seedlin, ofc). He's getting better tho dw

- as a kid, Seedlin really struggled to fly, because of a mix of tiny wings and big ol tail. It kept him in check for a while, and made him pretty easy to take care of for Blassoom and Plixie! Once he started flying tho.. Oh boy

Malik, the Syncopite x Scaratar fanchild:

- Despite only having one eye, Malik doesn't struggle with depth perception! How?? Idk man, monster magic.

- Also, don't worry!! The crystals growing out of his skin don't hurt at all, it's like growing fingernails or something along the lines.

- Malik can actually heal physical wounds with Good Vibes™! Y'know, healing crystals and all that-

- Be careful around his pincers?? Claws?? Whatever they are they're s h a r p, like literal glass.

- Wise™. He's the braincell of the group, and his cousin Pluchere's right-hand man. He usually helps him decipher his visions and figure out the best way to go about the impending disasters.

- the crystals that fall off his body often have similar healing abilities to himself, albeit to a much lesser extent, and are often given out as gifts. he doesn't mind it much.

- His wings (that you almost never see) are actually quite beautiful! their appearance mirrors that of stained glass, and when sunlight shines through them, is projects wonderful colors all over the room!

- Despite being so large and clunky, his claws are actually quite delicate and precise! He can perform the most intricate acts with ease.. Given they can be done with just four fingers.

Rivette, the Vhamp x Galvana fankid:

- Being the Celestial of Electricity (at least halfway), Rivette is, understandably, the most hyperactive of all of the Divines! She's constantly on the move, and can never sit still. She's also extremely prone to zoomies.

- Big!! Brain!!! An inventor just like her mother and father, she spends her time tinkering with whatever pieces of scrap she can find, usually accidentally creating weapons of mass destruction in the process.

- Speaking of which, she owns a staff that she wields on the regular! (I just forgot to draw it HSHS-) She actually welded it herself as a child (with the help of Condair) out of random pieces of scrap metal she found around Starhenge, and it works as kind of an outlet for her electric powers, doubling as a sort of lightning rod!

- she's. Very clumsy. Trips over a lot, rams headfirst into walls, ect ect. The fact that she has wheels built into her feet doesn't help much either. Dw, tho, she can put herself back together just fine!! ..But her torso might end up backwards sometimes.

- She's an older sister figure to the Wubboxes (because yes, technically THEY'RE the baby brothers), and an aunt to the Wublins! She'd die for each and every one of them.

- the weird. Collar. Thing around her neck is, of course, a part of her body! Rivette needs to be actively holding it down mentally, because its default position is sitting upright. Of course, as a baby, Rivette couldn't exactly do that, so it stayed up for a majority of her childhood until she figured it out. It's essentially second nature to her now, though!

Fossoil, the Hornacle x Torrt Fankid:

- The very definition of a gentle giant, Fossoil is HUGE, and strong enough to pick up rocks and hurl them across the monster world! However, he's learned to control his strength, and is one of the gentlest Divines.

- Because of his element of Earth, Fossoil's skin is extraordinarily tough, and is near impossible to pierce with even the sharpest blade. Which is strange, because he also has claws that are capable of cutting straight through diamond like it's butter.. Wonder which would win?

- Fossoil is an artist! And a very good one at that - he can draw, and paint, but his favorite form of art is pottery, and since he's able to essentially create infinite clay out of nothing, it's no wonder why he's a big fan. He usually gets Condair to fire them for him-

- He inherited Hornacle's balance and motor skills issues, causing him to just kinda.. start falling over for no apparent reason. Luckily, though, he's learned to balance himself before he hits the ground! His baby form, though? Not so much.

- One of his favorite past-times is just chilling in thermal vents at the bottom of the living ocean... Giant hot tubs,,,

- As a kid, Fossoil had little to no control over his thagomizer - he was like a baby Stogg!! So, in order to remedy this, Hornacle and Torrt.. Stuck corks at the end of his spikes. Brilliant idea, guys, well done.

- He's figured out a way to help Condair with his anger issues - play fighting! Whenever Condair starts getting frustrated and aggressive, the two will wrestle and fight until they're both tuckered out and Condair's vented out his rage. Because Fossoil is nearly indestructible and has excellent control over his own strength, there's a near zero percent chance of either of them getting hurt! So yeah, play fighting!! Best form of therapy :]

- He's also pretty much the only one that can hug Malik without getting hurt, because yk. Malik's covered in broken glass essentially and Fossoil's skin is impenetrable-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And those are the kids!!!! AAAAA, I love them sm you have no idea HSHS-

Of course, There's more info about them bouncing around my singular braincell, but I'll get to that later lmao. I hope you love em as much as I do!! Tell me what y'all think :]

[butterfly-headquarters]

Catherine lives! AU

Ok so I finally got around to write this thing so here you all go, more under the cut bc it kinda got long

Also if you want me to make a post specifically abt how Catherine being alive would impact the general story tell me and I'll make one for that, too ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

Catherine always knew Montana was like her, even when she was little. At first she was hesitant to let Justin play and spend time with her but after seeing how good they got along and remembering how she never really had friends she decided to let them be.

Fast forward to Montana coming back to Jorvik and Catherine's motherly instincts I immediately kick in. Yes, she hasn't seen this girl in almost 8 years and she's grown up and changed so much. The Montana before her is so quiet and almost desperately tries to She's reminded so much of her younger self, of how lost and alone she felt and decides that she won't let this happen to another girl. Once Montana realizes she posses magic abilities and starts training with Ydris and a WIP oc of mine (it's a bit messy right now kay?) Catherine sits her down and tells her about how they're the same. Obviously Montana asks her for help and guidance, which Catherine immediately shuts down. Montanas initial reaction of anger and confusion leaves after Catherine explains that she no longer associates herself with magic, hasn't used it in years and never was that good at it. What Catherine can do though is make Montana aware of the dangers of magic, to tell her about her own mistakes, the Keepers and the Sisterhood.

And there are times when Catherine is almost scared of Montana. Because Montana isn't like her, isn't afraid to loose control. She's so full of anger and frustration and sadness right after loosing her parents and that paired with uncontrolled power is a dangerous combination. Montana isn't hurting others on accident but rather manages to keep injuring herself while learning. There are so many times she comes back to the stables and Justin and Montana sit in the saddle chamber putting creams on her arms and wrapping bandages around her hands because she burnt or cut herself. She's stubborn and impulsive and acts without thinking things through and clearly struggles with magic.

And yet she makes up for it with her sheer determination to learn, to master this power which allows her to protect what's left and Catherine can't help but be amazed at this young girl. They're the same and yet so completely different.

Of course as soon as Justin starts to get more involved with all the magic stuff Catherine is worried about him. It's not like she wasn't worried about Montana to begin with, but Justin is her son, her baby. It's the first time the two of them ever had a big argument since Justin never really fought with his mom. Even after they talk it out she's not happy with him joining Montana on trips. But after seeing his determination and desire to protect Mo, to be able to return the favor because she always protects them and he desperately wants to keep her safe, to make her understand she's not alone and doesn't have to do everything by herself, even if at times it scares him, Catherine gives in. At least she has the comfort of knowing they're looking out for each other.

Catherine isn't unfriendly to the soul riders either, quite the opposite. It would be easy to be angry at them, to hold grudges and not want a single thing to do with it, but that's not like her. Catherine isn't a hateful person. She wouldn't be angry at kids for something that their predecessors did. Elizabeth and Avalon are a different story of course, but the girls never did anything bad, she doesn't hold any grudges against them specifically. They're just kids, kids who have way too many things that they have to shoulder than anyone that age should. Those girls aren't even in their 20s and are being told the fate of Jorvik and perhaps the whole world is depending on them. That's fucked up, like, severely fucked up.

So Catherine always tells them that no matter what, they can always come to Moorland Stables. Even if she can't do much in regard to guiding them on their Soul Rider journey, she can make sure there is a place for them where they're safe.

It does hurt to see that just like her Montana feels like she doesn't fit in, doesn't belong with them. To see that cycle repeat itself. Yet Montana doesn't seem to be as bothered by it as she had been, which isn't exactly better if you hear the 'I wasn't really able to make friends after we left Jorvik, so it's nothing new' explanation.

I do think she would stay away from Valedale and the Keepers and Elizabeth as far as she can. The only time I can see her showing up again is after Justin got imprisoned and for the first time in her life Catherine is full on willing to throw hands with someone. (She doesn't. She doesn't stop Montana from doing it for her either.)

TL;DR

Catherine is basically treating Montana as her own daughter and being a great at it. She doesn't hold grudges against the current Soul Riders bc they're just kids. The Keepers can go fuck themselves she ain't dealing with them. When are Montana and Justin getting married she'd love to have her as her daughter in law

[milfbrainrot]

Yj

Yay finally intentional cannibalism and yay it's Shauna finally becoming as unhinged as she has the potential to be.

I think the screaming sounds have been speakers planted in the trees by the birdwatchers to attract birds or do some kind of migration prompting idk ??? So they have a tape that's probably recording right now that captures the girls killing them to keep the secret of killing and eating Ben? Or they use the tapes later on.

Crazy that akilah was right about Ben being their way home almost. If they hadn't killed and cannibalize him... well. They would've been able to leave. I'm sure even without the ritualistic screaming they would've been able to cross paths with those guys.

So yay now nat has to live with the guilt of not only killing Ben but being why they didn't get rescued. Maybe that's why misty loves her so much? Misty (theoretically) is at fault for the first year bc she broke the black box and now nat is at fault for the second.

I never considered lottie was apologizing to Lisa but it makes sense and I'm glad for it. Didn't think we'd see her again. Sugar mommy post mortem.

The Tai stuff is wild. Kinda bummed this is veering it more onto supernatural but I guess it's rly the best way to go about it so as to not villainize mental illness? Like. Waking up as our Tai? Mental illness. The phone call? Man idk what else that could be besides Van hallucinating bc of the trauma resurfacing bc of the tape or some medication side effects bringing out what she's been intuiting. Seems too coincidental.

It is so knife twisty that they could've been rescued but honestly... could they? With Ben still alive and at risk of talking about what they did out there... he didn't do cannibalism. The rest did. So I kind of think it had to turn out like this in a way. It wouldn't have been as bad tbh with what they've done until now coming out but uhhh now in particular they're fucked lol.

Fav part was van calling out what we all knew - that Shauna calls Mel Jackie during sex <3

Ugh this was a lot to wrap my head around I'm just so glad the show is like... getting good again... I rly haven't been enjoying it as much as I enjoyed season 1 but I think it's gotten its spark back. I think they struggled with How to get here but now that they're here it's gonna be better. I hope.

Callie knowing about the tape puts her in so much danger and her convo abt it with Shauna cut deep. Also rly in character for Shauna to not know abt deleted files getting preserved since she didn't even know she could Google herself in s1. Rly excited to see where this takes her esp since... Jeff read the journals so now the whole family will get more of an idea of what happened.

I wish we could still have adult nat and lottie here but it's... okay. I guess.

Also SO glad misty was so comfortable with Ben's corpse I'd expect nothing less from her. Thank god she's still allowed to be weird as hell.

Lastly maybe the person after Shauna/ Hilary is a relative of the birdwatchers or someone else who suspects the girls killed their loved one? If they left the tape out there in the wilderness buried, since van was researching if it could still be functional after all this time in that state, I guess that person finally found the evidence they were looking for. "The only person who knows abt this is us or dead" means I guess Mel IS really dead unless she isn't. The blue contact lenses are still interesting interesting me w Hilary.

Also I think this solidifies their ties to the wilderness w lottie feeling her visions are back and Shauna being the leader who will give the wilderness what it wants. The bear vision is like a combo of them?

So whatever's going out with Tai, assuming it started out there, literally followed them back just like their trauma lol.

[ladystoneboobs]

um, it's more that luke and leia being twins was a rather last minute plot change in rotj, saying he "wrote the original trilogy" implies they were planned out as a unit in some way. the luke/leia kisses weren't meant to be accidentally incestuous. lucas was not originally planning to have them be related at all, and even in esb when darth vader became luke's father leia was not meant to be a skywalker too. at the time of making rotj the original thought behind leia's words about their mother was that the as-yet-unnamed-mother survived their birth and chose to seperate the twins herself for some reason, sending luke away while staying with leia in disguise on alderaan until she died a few years later. (also at this time owen was actually obi-wan's brother, not anakin's stepbrother.) but it was never the case that luke and leia were adopted at the same time when both were older than babies. that's why luke says he never knew his mother and has to ask leia what she knows of her.

luke was always meant to have spent his whole childhood on tattooine and that doesn't explain why his name wasn't changed to lars, which surely would have helped his own safety as the skywalker name is his most obvious link to anakin. i know sw portrays planets as not nearly big enough but it's a bit much to assume just being a blond human boy would get you linked to another blond male human in a different part of tattooine who left the planet almost 20 years before you were born. luke seems to have had a rather small social circle on tatooine and there's no hint that anyone he knew there besides owen, beru, and obi-wan had ever met anakin. it's also going directly against the movies to think owen ever intended luke to leave them for good as a skywalker. he certainly didn't want him to go anywhere with obi-wan as his jedi apprentice (anh obi-wan says that anakin wanted luke to have his old lightsaber but that owen wouldn't allow it bc he was afraid luke would go off with obi-wan on some fool crusade, which given later reveals/retconning about anakin and how that lightsaber changed hands, is just a bald-faced lie slandering owen as a needless stick-in-the-mud.) and if they were worried about him being caught out as anakin's son and having to go into hiding, again i say they could have just not openly raised him with the skywalker name to begin with. owen was doing all he could to keep luke on that farm for as long as he could, and their argument about leaving was just about luke following biggs to the academy, not even about joining the rebellion (tho that was surely in luke's mind as he knew it was biggs's real plan). luke not being a farmer was about him not wanting to be a farmer, about his spirit of adventure wanting more, not him always being meant to leave with obi-wan or needing to go into hiding at any time while using his father's name openly on his father's home planet. at the time that the larses took him to raise there's no reason they had to know he could never be made a farmer and would have to leave them for good someday, that happened due to his own choice and his own wishes. you mention how luke was affected by owen's and beru's deaths without acknowledging the plot significance of their deaths: that was luke's cue to leave with obi-wan bc he wasn't leaving with owen still alive and certainly wasn't raised with the expectation of being cut loose into obi-wan's waiting tutelage.

if we agree that both uncles/aunts and moms/dads can love kids, then why this insistence that that there's something wrong in not acknowledging owen and beru as anything other than luke's uncle and aunt? the version you've concocted where they always meant to be a temporary set-up for luke sounds more like foster care than a permanent adoption. there are different kinds of families and it's not wrong to say they don't always include someone called mom and dad or thought of as mom and dad. luke only ever considered one man his father, bc despite owen wanting luke to follow him into farming, he still raised luke as a skywalker, not a lars, as anakin's son and shmi's grandson. a guy who intentionally raised luke to call him uncle owen rather than dad would not be arguing that he was luke's real father or be insulted by being only known as uncle owen, so fandom really doesn't need to argue that on his behalf. he can consider luke his own without considering himself luke's dad, that just means luke's his nephew, not his son. this insistence that the larses were luke's mom and dad always feels like luke is seen as disrespectful for never calling them such, bc otherwise it means just ignored how luke thinks of them as canon luke clearly does not consider them his mom and dad. despite his loving relationship with beru, he still considered himself motherless, never having known a mother bc he could not remember padme. (i think it significant that "real mother" were his words, not leia's. she would probably consider bail and breha organa her real mom and dad and padme her birth mother, which means she could still have an interest in padme without feeling like that was her only mother whether she remembered her or not.) but who is the source of this distinction of uncle/aunt who raised him vs. mom/dad parental equivalents, luke himself or owen/beru? why can we not acknowledge and accept the difference between a guy who always wanted to adopt an unrelated baby girl and therefore offered to do so of his own volition wrt his recently deceased friend's baby, and a guy who was assigned guardianship by frickin' yoda and then had a baby boy delivered on short notice who was apparently the son of a stepbrother he met all of once a few years ago? esp given that even in the iteration where owen and obi-wan knew each other before and were even the ones actually related, they still never had a good relationship with owen warning luke to stay away from that "crazy wizard" and obi-wan lying his ass off about owen and anakin.

why is it people are all agreed that luke and leia would* have very different feelings about darth vader as a father but cannot grasp that their experiences with the people who raised them were also very different?

leia was actually adopted by a father who chose her, who gave her his name, and raised her as fully one of them, to think of himself and his wife as her parents. none of that was at all true for luke. he was dropped on owen and beru after they met his parents all of once a few years before. (which does not a brotherly relationship make! stepbrothers or not! padme was the one with an actual surviving family on naboo who actually knew and loved her. even bail knew her better than owen knew anakin.) owen lied about how anakin lived and died but still raised luke with an idea of his real father, using the skywalker name and saying aunt and uncle instead of mom and dad. 

do y’all not realize that an intra-family adoption doesn’t mean surnames can’t be changed or kids can’t say mom/dad instead of grandma/grandpa or aunt/uncle or whatever? why wouldn’t a kid instinctively call the people raising them from infancy mama and dada? this was all a choice, that’s why. (and considering the danger of the skywalker name, that part was a meaningful and deliberate choice.) and i’m not even blaming owen for it. adoptions cannot be forced on people who did not choose them. not everyone is capable of loving someone else’s child exactly the same as if they were related by blood and that’s not some irredeemable flaw. not everyone even wants to be parents, naturally or not! we don’t know if owen and beru ever wanted to be parents before obi-wan showed up on their doorstep. and even with the lying everyone did about anakin, it speaks well that luke was still raised with some knowledge of his birth parents and grew up loving and respecting the (false) idea of anakin. 

i’m sure owen and beru cared for luke as he did for them but they did not think of each other as simply father/mother and son, nuclear family-style. and to assert otherwise is to deliberately ignore the writing in the movies with every line of “uncle owen” “aunt beru” “his father/your father/my father” and “i have no memory of my mother. i never knew her.” it’s not an insult to owen/beru not to equate them with bail/breha who chose adoption and whom we know had always talked of adopting a baby girl. if anything, i’d say it’s an insult to ignore the complexity and true context there to simplify everyone into the same categories. and maybe, just maybe, we should consider that luke’s connection to anakin/vader and longing for knowledge of his “real” mother has to do with how he was raised differently than leia, and not because the twins are instrincially so different with luke just being a bigger softie.

*i say would because it’s not like rotj gives any time for leia’s reaction to learing she was fathered by anakin/vader (and no, eu matierials which can be de-canonized at any time do not make up any lack in the script). but it’s not as if leia expresses any disapproval toward luke’s feelings or hopes either, even as she worries about his plan. maybe bc she understands how and why she and luke are coming from different places better than most in the fandom do.

[ssahotchnerr]

since you’re a pro when it comes to the intricacies of aaron’s life with reader, do you think aaron’s arrangement with jessica would change once he’s in a serious relationship with reader and eventually married? for all intents and purposes, she essentially co-parents jack 1. to keep him connected to Haley but 2. bc aaron wouldn’t be able to work the way he does without someone else also caring for jack. with time reader essentially becomes his “mom” so would his time with jessica change? like i envision she’s still apart of the family and maybe jack spends a weekend with her every month or she babysits occasionally, but that naturally the time would decrease cause there isn’t a need for him to be spending a whole week with her or for her to be handling all his activities. i also always hoped show wise that Jessica had time to pursue the things she wanted whether it be a certain career, relationship, traveling, starting a family, etc. I would hope aaron getting into a serious relationship would allow her co-parenting responsibilities to decrease so she could focus on herself and what she wants in life. what do you think?

i definitely think his time with jessica changes- and you put it perfectly!

the arrangement was put into place mainly for the reason of someone being with jack while aaron was away, and jessica was the perfect one for a few reasons- obviously keeping him connected to haley, she understands aaron's job and knows the kind of schedule to expect, and after what happened with foyet, i've always envisioned aaron having more of a cautious, protective barrier around jack. he wouldn't be as trusting, in terms of like, hiring a random nanny to watch him. like, the image of pulling jack out of his hiding place is engraved into his mind and it terrifies him. so with jessica, she's already safe, if that makes sense. aaron has known her for years, trusts her completely, and again keeps haley's name alive- doing both jack and jessica a favor- jack is also jessica's connection to haley, after all.

so when reader enters the picture - i've always imagined aaron making up his mind quickly in terms of wanting to get married, so it doesn't take long for reader to take over jessica's role. and it's officially official once reader moves in with aaron. it's definitely bittersweet in a way, but it's an even better arrangement for everyone, just so much more convenient. jack isn't going between two homes, he has more of a 'mom' which makes him so happy- like he loves his aunt, but she's not his mom, you know? - it's different. he also always knows who's going to be picking him up from school or soccer practice. it just gives everyone more structure, and a peace of mind.

plus, jack was never ever a burden to jessica, ever, aaron knows that and is so appreciative of her, but you can't tell me he never felt partially guilty for jack always being with jessica. co-parenting is a full time job, and he wants jessica to have a life, but she was the only person willing to watch jack. he wants her to partake in her hobbies, have a family, grow in her career or pursue a new one, all of which could be difficult with always being responsible for jack. so reader entering the family, taking on the role of mom, again, it works out in everyone's best interest.

but such an effort is made in terms of jessica and jack spending time together. he goes over to hers for sleepovers a few times a month, spends a weekend with her, always sees her on holidays and birthdays. if reader is busy, jessica is also the first person on speeddial. i also love to think reader and jessica get super close too, so one or the other is always at one's home to watch a show, hang out, have tea, and jack tags along.

but something i've always thought about that's worth mentioning- in 5x10 there's a mention jack has cousins??? but then there was no mention of haley having other siblings besides jessica, and clearly aaron's only sibling is sean, who doesn't have kids. so i love to headcanon that jessica does has other children. so whenever jack was with her, he had others to play with 🥺 so then to relate it all back to this, another reason he sees jessica fairly often is because his cousins are his best friends <333

[clairecrive]

Hi could we please get a really angsty fic with nikolai (with a happy ending pls) where reader and he has had a fight so they maintain the facade on the outside bc they're royals but in private it's just ignoring each other/angst?

Young Royals

A/N: ahh, this is angsty alright but it seems I'm only capable of writing hurt/comfort lately. This took a life of its own and it's long af but I hope you like it anyway x

Warnings: miscommunication, angst, fighting, hurt/comfort, Nikolai is a bit absent, you're a bit jealous of his relationship with Zoya

Tags: @jupiterandbutterflies, @agentsofsheilds , @for-bebbanburg , @randomoutsiders , @pansysgirlfriend , @hannaxmaria , @vintagebitc , @story-scribbler , @crowssixof , @odetostep,@lizzie-he4rts, @korol-lantsov, @subjecta13-thefangirl, @gallysonegoodlung, @a-c-lee, @mriddlemethis, @carnationworld,@thanossexual, @luvxginger, @sanna2020,@partiesandblurrypolaroids, @edithsvoice, @wafflesandschemingfaces (tag list form)

SHADOW AND BONE MASTERLIST

"Do not put words into my mouth, Nikolai."

"Please, you already have so many, my love," he scoffed and the use of the term of endearment hurt the most.

"You're making me sound like a brat while I'm providing you with a viable solution," you insisted with a flare of your hands, frustrated by his unwillingness to listen to you.

"No, you're not. What you're doing is being childish."

"I'm your queen, Nikolai. I'm only asking to be more involved."

"You're my wife, y/n, and you know nothing about politics or running a country." He retired, putting emphasis on wife. This felt a lot like being put into place. And the fact that it was your husband doing so, hurt. It was also the most you had seen him this week.

"Neither did Zoya, nor Genya or anyone who's currently running the country."

"That's different and you know it."

"Only because you're making it so," you exclaimed finally exploding. His despondency got on your nerves and this conversation was going nowhere anyway.

Surprised by your raise of voice, Nikolai stood before you just blinking at you.

Sighing, you took a step toward him, holding your hands up, "look, you're right, I don't know about running a country but teach me. I'm not stupid, I'll pick it up."

"Why are you insisting so much? You've never shown any interest in politics before." He gave you a puzzled look like he didn't really believe your intentions.

"I've never wanted to be queen before." before meeting you.

"Ah, I see," he chuckled mirthlessly, "I put you in this situation and now you're taking your revenge."

To insinuate that your marriage with him was you "being put into a situation" rather than a consensual decision you had made out of love was absurd.

Nikolai was right. You had never cared about politics or diplomacy before meeting him. You were a soldier. There was no reason for you to meddle with something that didn't concern you.

But now you were queen and you felt a responsibility towards your people. You wanted to help but so far, Nikolai hadn't allowed you to take part in any meetings. He said that anyone who needed to be there was already involved. What he didn't tell you was that while Grisha made excellent soldiers and even good councillors, one of them being a royal was a very different matter.

He had indulged his love for you by marrying you. You were his vice and he simply couldn't accept the idea of being without you anymore. He had married you, consequently making you queen, going against what his advisors told him.

While he ignored his warnings he was painfully aware, however, how difficult it was going to be for a Grisha on the throne. It was the first time something liked this had ever happened and unfortunately, the country was filled with people who resented Grisha for their powers.

Nikolai feared that the people were never going to accept you. Hence why he'd been keeping you secluded in the palace.

To be fair, you were doing a wonderful job. Like he had pointed out, you were not accustomed to politics but you made up for that with empathy and kindness. You started to interest yourself with the problem of poverty and lack of provisions for some parts of the country.

And while no one was aware of it, Nikolai often turned to you for military strategy. You were an apt soldier and had fought bravely alongside him and everyone else in the battle of the Fold. You were the very reason why he was still alive, to be honest.

While this arrangement worked for the first months of your reign, it was starting to feel an inadequate effort. You needed to do more, you wanted to do more. You didn't expect Nikolai to oppose it so vehemently.

"If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be, Nikolai, you'd do well to remember it," you pointed out coldly, straightening your spine.

"Since you seem so adverse at spending time with me or including me in important matters, I'll find someone else who will." And with that, chin held high, you walked out of the room.

You missed him. It felt absurd to say this but you missed your husband. He was always busy with meetings or official visits to some noble across the country. For most of them, he went alone or with Zoya.

You knew that she was his first in command but you couldn't help but be bothered by it. It was one thing to accept the fact that he hadn't given the role to you "because the queen cannot have that role as well", it was a whole other thing to accept the fact that another woman spent more time with your husband than you did.

Countless were the fights you had with him in this regard. But they were pointless. Nikolai was still set on not bringing you and he and Zoya were always found together.

You didn't know what hurt more. The blow at your pride for being denied a position you deserved because of who you loved, the jealousy or being punished for your identity.

One thing was sure though, it was getting too much. At first, you pulled thought for Nikolai but now that you didn't have him anymore, your efforts seemed to be in vain.

So, like you had told Nikolai, you looked for someone who was willing to teach you. You wanted to help and if Nikolai wasn't going to let you here at the palace, then you'd find somewhere else.

Count Kirigin had always been nice to you and he was a very generous host. You knew that he played a central role in Nikolai's plan so you thought that there was no one better than him.

You reached out to him, wrote him a letter in which you showed interest in his activity and asked him if he was willing to show you. Of course, anything that came from the queen or the king couldn't be denied but you knew that the Count truly enjoyed your company. If your position didn't put so much higher than everybody else, you'd even consider him a friend.

You waited for his reply before putting in motion the preparations for your departure.

In the meantime, you and Nikolai kept conducting your separate lives. Usually, you'd only see him at night when he returned to your chambers if you were still up. Now, you had decided to sleep in separate rooms too.

If he wanted a wife, then a wife he'd get. But kings and queens do not sleep together.

If the new arrangement was bothering him, you didn't know. He hadn't reached out to you nor made any move to rectify your decision.

Turns out that he wasn't even at the Palace. He had left for a mission near the border with Shu Han and wouldn't be back for at least a week. Well, then. Of course, he didn't even bother with telling you. Not even a small note.

Jokes on him though, you thought, since when he was going to come back, he'd finally get what he wanted. You weren't going to be there to bother him anymore.

Differently from him though, you did indeed left him a note. Nikolai found it a week after you had set it on his pillow. Its presence made him furrow his eyebrows since he had already been wondering where you were. You usually came out to meet him at the gates whenever he'd come back from a mission and even though you had fought before he went away, you weren't one for holding grudges. So e guessed there was something holding you.

Unfolding the paper he was met with your familiar chaotic writing.

"I don't know when you're going to find this letter but if I'm not there yet it means that I'm still at Count Kirigin's. Do not bother with writing or visiting, I'll come back when my business with him is done.

Y/n"

What in the name of every sweet loving saint???

The letter wasn't dated, no dear, no yours no nothing. Fuck. You were still mad or worse, hurt.

Asking one of the servants, he learned that you had been away for a week already. But what business could you possibly have with the Count??

Nikolai had nothing against him. Seeing Kirigin get all flustered as he tried to flirt with Zoya amused him to no end but the idea of him and you in the same house? Alone?? Unacceptable.

Not even bothering to change clothes after his long journey, Nikolai headed to the stables to ask for a well-rested horse. Luckily, Count Kirigin's estate was not too far away. A couple of hours ride.

Turns out that the Count had a lot to teach. Despite his aloof reputation and extravagant clothes, he was very observant. He lacked ambition, which was why Nikolai trusted him and had a curious way of behaving in social situations.

But Emil had been born and raised in high society. He knew how things were run even if he had no desire to be in charge of them.

So far, you'd be having a wonderful time. Emil was a wonderful host, as you remembered, but without Nikolai's presence, he was even more extravagant. He had an unexpectedly dry sense of humour and a never-ending list of jokes.

Being in the open and in the company of someone who saw y/n instead of the Queen of Ravka proved to be even more needed than you thought. You felt reinvigorated and much lighter than you'd ever been.

You had also been learning a lot. Emil had been teaching you about diplomacy. About the best ways of formulating a sentence so that you wouldn't offend anyone but still get what you wanted. He had also been talking to you about your husband's ministers. About their weaknesses and vices and what was the best way to approach them to get what you wanted.

So far, it was proving to be a wonderful decision to come here.

Whenever your mind strayed on Nikolai, you willed it to focus on something else. You didn't know if he had already come home or seen the letter. A part of you thought that if he had, he would at least write one back. But the thought felt a lot like hope and seeing as how little he saw you even before you left, you didn't think it safe to harbour it.

When Nikolai reached the estate, he was met with Kirigin's servants. They welcomed him inside and profusely apologised for the Count's absence. They told him that at this time of the day, Kirigin and his guest would usually go out on a ride but that they were also about to return.

So Nikolai waited, sitting in the most comfortable chair the Count owned, fuming at the thought that his wife had felt the need to go away and be in the company of another man.

"If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be Nikolai. You'd do well to remember it."

Your words haunted him. They were the last thing that you told him. How stupid had he been to let you walk away. How utterly careless of him to disregard you like that.

He had promised himself to truly talk to you about it once this pressing matter of state was taken care of. Apparently, he had waited too long.

But Nikolai knew that the problem was at the source. He noticed how hurt you had been when he made Zoya his first in command. Or how sad you seemed everywhere he went somewhere with her and didn't ask you to join.

He was doing so to protect you from the inevitable slander you'd be met with. He should have known though that putting you aside was going to be even worse. You were a fighter just as much as Zoya was, if not stronger.

She hid behind her veil of indifference and superiority while you had never lost that emphatic verve that made everyone love you so much. In his attempt to make you safe, he had only managed to hurt you.

You were a warrior. You had accepted the role of queen only because it was the only way for you to be with Nikolai. And instead of praising you by making you a warrior queen, he had decided to hide you away.

Well, no more.

If his mistakes had not ruined everything already, he was going to make everything better.

Lost in his musing, he didn't hear the sound of hooves approaching but he did indeed hear your laugh. It immediately brought him back to the present and a wave of ugly jealousy hit him.

He couldn't remember the last time he made you laugh.

"I shouldn't even laugh Emil, the joke was terrible," Nikolai hear you giggling from somewhere in the hall. So now he was Emil, huh.

"You know you can't resist my charm, your highness," Emil replied and Nikolai had to call on every bit of his self-control to not barge out of the room and punch him.

"Stop it, you know you can call me y/n."

Before Emil could reply, they had both made it to the sitting room where Nikolai was waiting for them. It looked like no one had warned them of his presence because Kirigin looked surprised then utterly mortified.

"Your majesty, I wasn't aware you were here. Please forgive me for making you wait."

"Don't fret Kirigin, it was an impromptu visit. I came to see how my lovely wife was doing." No matter how green he was feeling right now, he knew that Kirigin was loyal to him and the crown. Whatever was happening here wasn't one of his schemes.

"Of course! I'm going to send for some tea while you two get reunited." Kirigin quickly bowed before hurrying out of the room.

Nikolai met your eyes for the first time since you had arrived. If at first, you were surprised to see him, now you couldn't help but be a bit sceptical about this visit.

"What are you doing here?" you asked breaking the ice.

"You leave with only a few lines on where you're going and you expect me to just accept it?" He scoffed, his hands curling on the armrests of the chair.

"It's more than what you gave me," you quipped, crossing your arms on your chest.

Nikolai sighed while his gloved hands run through his hair. You were right and he knew it. He had been a horrible husband lately.

"I know you're mad at me, honey, but listen-"

"I'm not mad. You didn't want to give me what I wanted so I went looking for it somewhere else." Scrolling your shoulders, you interrupted him without meeting his eyes. A list of excuses was not what you wanted nor what you needed from him.

Nikolai didn't miss the innuendo. His jaw clenched, his hands closed in fists. But he willed himself to stay calm.

"You think Kirigin can give you something that I can't?" Nikolai was a master in diplomacy. Never did he get frustrated or angry or raised his voice, even with the most aggravating people. Here though, with you, he didn't have to keep a façade. He spoke through his teeth barely containing his anger.

"Well, so far, he's been giving me attention and interesting pointers that no, Nikolai, you refused to give me."

"So this is how you solve your problems? Running away in the countryside with Emil?" Nikolai sneered, his tone souring around Kirigin's name.

"Don't you do the same with your precious first in command?" Tired after your ride with Emil, you plopped down on the chair in front of Nikolai's. Completely ignoring his tone, you pointed out calmly. The perfect image of aloofness even when it was the last thing you were in this moment.

"That's different," he snapped trying to meet your eyes that were carefully analyzing your hands.

"Yes," you signed, "it seems that when I'm concerned everything is different."

"There's nothing between me and Zoya, y/n and you know it." Nikolai was getting more frustrated by the second. He came here to apologize, to make things right and so far, the conversation was going in the opposite directions.

"Maybe now, but you spend more time with her than you do with me. It's only a matter of time before it happens and you're sorely mistaken if you think I'll just stand by and watch."

"This is not about Zoya," he insisted but so far, he wasn't getting the reaction out of you he wanted. You seemed... resigned at the situation. And that worried Nikolai to no end.

"It never is."

"Why did you run away?" Opting for a more direct approach, he bit the bullet and went straight to the point.

"I did not run away," you scoffed in contempt at his choice of words, "I told you I wanted to do more and Emil is teaching me. Not everyone is so against spending time with me, you know." You shot him a glance.

It was the first time that you had looked at him since you had been left alone.

"I married you, y/n. How can you possibly believe I don't want to spend time with you?" As desperation slipped through his words, Nikolai leaned towards you in his seat. As if he couldn't bear the distance between you anymore. But you knew it wasn't that. You and he had been distant for months now.

"Because that's what's happening, Nikolai," you clipped back and Nikolai had to refrain from wincing at your tone.

"It's not intentional, my love, I've just been busy." His tone softened. It was a poor excuse of an apology but it was sadly the truth.

"But when I say that I want to join or help you with it you strongly oppose?" Again, there was that suspicious implication in your words that Nikolai just couldn't stand. To think that you believed he'd ever cheat on you with another woman when he had done so much, taken so many risks, to be with you.

"It's not what you think, y/n." He insisted again but immediately realized he had said the wrong thing when he saw you leaning back into your chair shaking your head.

"I don't think anything, anymore. Do whatever you want. You do your thing and I'll do mine. I won't be a bother to you anymore." Holding up your hands, you gestured as you spoke.

A beat. Nikolai froze in his seat at what you were suggesting.

"You're never a bother to me. Never." He leaned even forwards in his chair, basically only propping on it now. The desperation was now clear in his voice. He reached out to you to try and take hold of your hands but you were too distant.

"I love you more than anything in this world and if you think that I'm going to let you go without a fight, you're sorely mistaken." The steel determination of his words caught you off guard. Nikolai was strong-headed, you knew that better than anyone else, but it had been a long while since that determination had been directed to you.

"You already did." It was barely a whisper. The sad truth about your reality, the downfall of your relationship. The wavering of your voice, the pain in your eyes were enough to tip Nikolai off the edge.

"Milaya, please."He fell onto his knees in front of you. Leaning forward he reached for your hands that he could now hold. "I'm sorry. I put you in a difficult position when I married you and I tried my best to protect you."

"I don't need protecting, Nikolai, especially if it's by pushing me away."

"I was keeping you away from danger and I know that you're strong and capable but I hate to think of you as the object of public slander." His eyes darted between yours, frantic, desperate to make you understand.

"I'm Grisha, Nikolai. It's nothing new to me," you pointed out but then it hit you.

"By difficult position, you meant a Grisha Queen, didn't you?" Your eyes hardened at the implications, your hands going slack in his hold. You would have pulled them away if Nikolai didn't tighten his hold.

"Please, do not think I'm regretting my choice or I think you're not worthy of the title because that's not true." Pulling your hands, he tried to get you closer to him. "I fear that there will be repercussions among the people." And there it was, at last, the truth.

"And among your ministers," you added remembering Emil's lessons on the people at court and their role.

You scoffed when he stayed silent. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought I was doing the right thing, my love."

"So Zoya can handle it and I can't?"

"For the millionth time," he groaned, "I don't care about Zoya."

"I only care about you and I know you can handle it. I just didn't want you to. You deserve happiness and peaceful life and I know it's impossible to have in this saints' forsaken country but I can at least try." His eyes lowered in shame and his confession sent a pang through your heart. You took a moment to take in what he said.

Never had you thought about the possibility of Nikolai's distance was a form of protection. You were a soldier of the Second Army, after all. But being a queen, especially a Grisha one, was a delicate thing.

It was the first time in history that something like this happened. Nikolai's worries were not unfounded since even after the destruction of the Fold, anti-Grisha movements were spreading fast.

It was sad to see the General's attempt of assuring safety for Grisha, provoking exactly the opposite thing.

"Oh, Kolya," returning his grip, you leaned towards him, "I just want a life with you by my side."

"As do I. I want you always and forever but above all, I want you safe. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, you know it right?"

"I just ask that you tell me the truth and let me play the role I've been given."

"It's not going to be easy. People at court-"

"I know. That's why I'm here. Emil's been teaching."

"Well, no more. I'm going to take care of it from now on."

"Is this a promise or a threat?"

"Rest assured my love, the difference between the two is almost nonexistent." He flashed you a smirk and you couldn't help but smile at him. Here it was, your beloved Nikolai.

"Things are going to change, aren't they?" you murmured softly as he gently rested his forehead against yours.

"We're going to show everyone what a "power couple" is." Here was his promise. Sealed with the gentlest nudging of his nose to yours. The action made you smile and your heart soar. You missed these little moments of intimacy with him.

One of his hands came to cradle your face as the other kept hold of your left hand. Your rings softly clicked as they touched. A form of reassurance.

"I love you, y/n."

"And I you, Kolya."

You were completely lost in your little bubble, even more so when Nikolai's lips finally met yours, that you had forgotten where you were. And that there was an embarrassed Kirigin outside the door waiting for the right moment to come in with tea.

[theconfusedartist]

( @zero-saito )Alex knowing what happened in p17 must have been crazy when he first got the upload. So much confusion and then having to loose desmond in p23, he lost desmond in p17 because he left/died then he looses desmond again because desmond died! So if the game/fic takes place in p1 and others then those Alex don’t know but desmond will and omg my heart. Also sassy bastard clay with a Cheshire Cat grin is the best ❤️

( @zero-saito ) Clay is so fun! He got out of Abstergo and while it's not the way he initially wanted he's got this whole "How do you like me now?!" vibe going on. He's so fun to write bc he's been Given the Knowledge and he makes me think of that one gif of the guy on the computer where everything goes all crazy then back to normal lmao. He's such a fave and while I wanted to keep as close to canon without outright breaking it, Clay being alive is one of the things I outright break bc I love him sm

Honestly wasn't sure how to answer this question. Was debating on whether or not to tell all or if I should just give hints, but tbh I'd rather just answer the question in full!

Ok so, the reboot starts with prototype 1 and once the game finishes there's a small section that kinda shows the player what's been going on for the last few months as Alex gets rid of all the infected in Manhattan, soon after (in late August) Desmond gets kidnapped and the first AC game happens, then immediately after that AC Altaïr's Chronicles and then Bloodlines happens. During this, Alex is trying to find Desmond and slicing through scores of Abstergo agents to find him, only to realize he's in Italy.

Lucy comes and gets Desmond out of Abstergo and the second game happens within the span of about 5-9 days, when you take into account the travel time. AC brotherhood happens soon after and (this is one of the major points that changes in later permutations) Alex *almost* manages to find Desmond in Monteriggioni, but ends up going to Forli first as there was Abstergo activity near that area and it was mentioned by one of the agents he ate that they had a mole take him to a desolate and quiet town. Alex goes to Forli instead of Monteriggioni and regrets it when he finds out that not only is Desmond not there but his allies in Manhattan are being attacked, as Balckwatch tries to make a second series of D-Codes that has the strain of Blacklight that Alex spread throughout the city (the in game landmarks and hints are him pretty much leaving behind his strain on places) and is using his absence to gain a foothold once again.

In hopes that Desmond would see it, he let's him know via their encrypted pager that he's still coming for Desmond but he had to make sure the others are safe. Desmond doesn't get his personal belongings back until after the birth (and subsequent kidnapping) of the twins and by then, he blames himself for what happened and doesn't return the message bc he's at an incredibly low point and the animus sessions he's doing back to back don't help.

Desmond gets the apple, stabs Lucy, and weighed by even more guilt, confusion, and uncertainty, falls into a coma. This is where the Clay is admin thing comes into play. See, initially when Desmond was hooked into the animus, he and Altaïr had 100% to start with but he was kicked out of the memory bc it was showing things that didn't happen (Altaïr dying due to fall damage, faceless people, the image of past and present bleeding over top each other) and also Clay overriding Desmond’s subject file and putting all his memories under Subject 16 as a subfolder, which allows him to quite literally make Desmond apart of his coding in the beginning. It's also why, in addition to what Rebecca says about the animus needing a lot of power to find the correct strand of DNA from the specific ancestor, they used Clay's files in the opening of AC2. Clay is literally made it a point to store all of his files in a admin-only encrypted space and they have to go through his folder first to get to Desmond, he's quite literally made himself the first and last line of defense here.

AC Revelations happens and that game ends when Ezio draws his final breath, and Desmond wakes up on the ship of Altaïr 2, as they travel to New York by water (where Alex has no way to track him). AC3 starts with Aveline and Connor still alive and well, Altaïr and Ezio watching him the same way Desmond watched them but without an animus, and Clay helping in the animus side. Even with this, Bill and Juno just keep pushing him to use the animus, which is detrimental as Desmond ends up having to relive all the memories of Ziio, Haytham, Aveline's mother and father, and Aveline and Connor from birth to death, and is expected to complete all memories from birth to death within less than a month. After getting through Ziio and Haytham, Desmond goes into New York to get a power source and activate a temple, one that he'd activated earlier due to the outbreak that happened (but he keeps this to himself so they can get to Manhattan).

Finally! Finally, Desmond and Alex are able to reunite as, Alex had been effectively blocked by Juno from coming anywhere near close to the mountains by deterring him with phosphorus adamantium, which is not only used to build much of their technology and PoE, but was also made to kill and disintegrate the virus beings that were alive during their time, and as such is very effective on Alex! But being in Manhattan, Juno can't do anything. Alex was going to swoop in and grab Desmond while he was in midair, but he let him do his thing (bc Desmond was looking good doing assassin work and he wanted to figure out what was going on first) just long enough to destroy the power source and knock out Daniel. (Which is. So fucking funny to me, bc p1 Desmond and Daniel were bitter exes, literally this isn't true for any other permutation except this one, due to gross miscommunication)

Alex, sees Desmond getting out, and they both jump at the chance to ditch the others for a couple of days.

Once the assassins track them down again, Alex makes it very clear he's not being left behind and Desmond makes it very clear he's not going into the animus unless Alex comes along, they're a pair that just hates being separated. The tensions get higher and higher, as Desmond rapidly deteriorates using the animus and Bill just wants to keep pushing harder, going as far to punch Desmond when he speaks out about their treatment of him. When I say Desmond was the only reason Bill survived that encounter...whoo boy. He had Bill's throat in his hand before his arm could even finish following through, and Alex makes it very clear that the only reason he isn't a smear on the ground is bc Desmond pleaded with him not to destroy the man. This feeds into what Imogen believes later, as she and Bill were still in constant contact, and he was keeping her updated on everything going on.

Which, y'know, it was really shitty of him not to let Desmond talk to his mom after he directly asks to see/speak to her again, but that's just Bill for ya! Thinking he can bludgeon his way to a solution!

Anyways, eventually enough temples are put online, all three of Desmond’s apples are recovered, and it's time to activate the eye!

Now, I always thought that it was. Extremely weird that the others just leave Desmond to die and don't even try to recover his body, so I gave an explanation for this. The heat was becoming physically unbearable for humans to be in, and the entire mountain was shifting to allow for the solar flare to pour into the top (I honestly need to make a visual for this, bc it looks like an eye when the solar flare hits that spot and Desmond absorbs the heat of the sun) down into the eye and the apples below.

Desmond convinces (read: begs) Alex to leave bc he knows that the Assassins know about Elijah now, and even with his attempts to fix his relationship with Bill, he doesn't trust them around his baby. So Alex leaves the mountain, but sticks around trying to claw his way in. The eye receives the solar flare energy (enough to do hundreds of billions of permutations) but after 26 hours, the screaming and light finally stops.

Once Black Flag hits, prototype 2 starts for Alex who is investigating Pariah as well as what he found out from Elizabeth Greene about her strain of Redlight, as her memories claim that she had (or rather Redlight) was the last of its kind to survive the Wipeout that the Isu had facilitated to get rid of any viral beings that had taken the form of something human-shaped. While there, Alex gets hit with a strain from Pariah paired with Bloodtox that has a hint of adamantium in it, and causes Alex to lose a lot of biomass in a gaseous form. It doesn't kill him and only incapacitated him for a moment, but that wasn't Blackwatch's goal. Since Alex has proven to be able to not only destroy and evade all their efforts to kill him and has even claimed the city for himself, they decide to go the biological warfare route and infect as many people in certain areas with a new strain of Blacklight in hopes that this will create something able to kill Alex AND pin the blame on Alex Mercer for the virus and the deaths during the outbreak.

Blackwatch does this to effectively cover their own ass, attempt to get rid of Alex (once again), and host another experiment similar to Hope.

Enter the Heller family. In this, James actually doesn't end up getting infected first, Colette does. She ends up with the virus powers instead of dying due to managing to survive, and hides with her daughter Amaya. As many families had been killed during the second outbreak, Heller is tricked into believing his family is dead as well, thus signing onto going into the new Red Zone. The prototype 2 intro happens, Alex infects Heller with his own Blacklight strain (that has significantly improved and increased in power) in hopes that at the very least, he can start getting more people on his side this way.

Prototype 2 happens, very differently as Heller and Alex are way more focused on getting rid of Balckwatch and keeping their respective families safe, whereas Heller and Colette have a larger focus on trying to help keep as many people in the city alive and well as possible, while Alex only really focuses on the people he cares about.

Heller does manage to do that whole tendril blast at the end, but instead of eating Alex, he eats a lesser being that the Isu had created specifically for killing viral beings. Alex separates from him and goes off to kill about 5 of these on his own and finally learned the truth about Redlight and how it came to be.

Fast forward to Manhattan being much safer, Alex goes to Lucy to retrieve the twins and she tells him where to find Desmond. After taking the twins back to Manhattan, Alex can (finally!) go rescue Desmond. Who has been getting his organs harvested repeatedly to 1) create PoE 2) use his DNA for the animus to start making Templar propaganda games 3) create Altaïr and Ezio so they can use the animus on them to control them as their own personal assassin soldiers.

Of course, Desmond would never allow this, so on March 13, he wakes up with the help of Clay and promptly breaks out only to meet up with Alex as he's doing so.

They get back to Manhattan and for a little while (read: a week and a half) things are relatively quiet and calm.

Only for this to be broken when Imogen calls for the trial of Desmond and Alex.

The reason I kinda laid all of this out is bc both permutation 17 and 23 don't follow this timeline very closely. In p17, Desmond and Alex both go through their stories alone, and Prototype 2 happens bc the solar flare is about to hit, so Alex believes the best way for people to survive is to just infect as many people as possible and hope for the best. It's not a good plan, in fact it's objectively terrible, but that's what Alex decides to go with. The sun scorches the Earth and they both lose everyone alive that they care about, while traveling the desolate and lonely plains of Earth, they run into each other and quickly become attached. Years pass, and the Isu are tired of Desmond basically not doing what they wanted him to, but have finally gotten over the shock that he can actually kill them (yeah, Juno did get stabbed 7 times, but they healed her up and she survived this), so they're like "Back to work, Desmond!" And draw him back by stating they're able to let Desmond see Clay's final moments and that if he doesn't come, the small hopes that he and Alex had of having a family wouldn't happen as Desmond would miscarry without their knowledge of how to help him deliver safely, being that Alex is a virus and the baby would be different.

They get back to the Grand Temple and surprise! It's a trap.

I don't wanna go *too* in detail, but I'll give the broad strokes: Desmond miscarried, like they said he would, they use Alex to bait him into doing what they want, but this eventually backfires as Desmond tries to use all the energy and repressed rage ro fight back, but this ends up doing serious damage to the two of them as they try to fight off the old warriors that the Isu created specifically to fight viral beings. They manage to survive but Desmond is in critical condition, emitting intense heats and soaking in phosphorus, in an attempt to heal his body. Even though this slowly kills Alex, he still takes care of Desmond to the bitter end, then asks him to consume him so they wouldn't be apart. It's the hardest thing Desmond has had to do, but there's literally only scraps of Alex left at this point, so he does as asked. Hundreds of years pass in permutation 17 and the loneliness finally gets to Desmond, as he ends it all by doing his best to send his and Alex's information, memories, and data to the other permutations. However, Desmond is disconnected in permutation 17, so Alex's info, data, and memories are permanently stored in the Blacklight Alex's memories after 23, but the only human permutation of Alex that manages to receive the information is permutation 23 human Alex, who also ends up infected at the time of receiving it.

Essentially, permutation 23 Alex is the only human version of him to be infected with the Blacklight virus before he even creates it, bc it was Blacklight Alex's memories that got passed on. This is also why Alex is Elijah's biological father in permutation 23 and also why permutation 23 Elijah is the only one to get virus powers like Blacklight Alex has.

After permutation 17, Clay, Layla, Altaïr, Ezio, Connor, Aveline all know what happened, but Desmond and the Reader (as a whole, the Reader from permutation 17 made himself "read only" to even get the files to them but is isolated in the Grey with no way to reconnect, which is why he also chose to die) don't know. Alex after 17 also knows, but only permutation 23 Alex knows not only the entire story, but is also infected as a human to be able to make changes much earlier than most of the other versions.

It's why he was so paranoid about Desmond ever leaving his side in permutation 23, he kept fearing that when Desmond left and he didn't know where he was, he would end up dying (due to slight (very very slight) precognitive abilities passed on from the Reader). And this turned out to be very true in the end.

I just wanted to say something about the protocreed au:

The reader is Desmond, Desmond is the reader. He just needed to run 26 permutations to get to that phase. Afterwards, he still would've been able to view and change the past/present/future at any time in his regular body while his consciousness (and Clay) remain in the Grey.

But Abstergo just had to go and fuck things up for ya boi😮‍💨 yet again

Alex does help out, but he had to leave when Desmond activated the Eye, due to all the intense heat and phosphorus adamantium that was literally deconstructing him on a molecular level.

Also, to get back to Elijah to make sure neither the assassins or Templars get their hands on him, bc he'll be damned if he let's Bill get his grubby little hands on him.

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Treasure ~ I.L. (Part Two: Promise)

A/n: Hope yall don’t mind how short and semi messy these requests have been, I just knew I needed to get them done and it wasn’t going to happen unless I just sat down and forced myself bc I wasn’t getting inspiration, so they’re not my best work but I still tried! Hope you guys still like them :)

Request: “26 and 29 male reader Isaac Lahey” for anon from this prompt list

MASTERLIST

~ A kiss to make a promise ~

It was a long time before Isaac and Y/n even got to a place where they could consider a talk about what was happening and where they stood.

First, it was giving space to let Y/n heal. He was in the hospital for two more days, and then holed himself up at Stiles’ house to do research and such. Between doing homework for himself and everyone he could to help them pass school, and then trying to keep up with all the information he was being thrown and questions he was expected to answer, Y/n was having a hard time staying seated let alone getting sleep and remembering to taking his meds and eat and such. Thankfully Lydia watched him like a hawk - especially since he had always had a track record of roasting himself alive to keep everyone he cared about warm.

Then, when Y/n was feeling good enough to go out into the field again and get information first hand, there was too much going on to have time to pull each other aside. Y/n still had a full plate with school work, actual work, and keeping his friends alive. At the very least the presence allowed a sort of unspoken forgiveness - at a level just enough that they could work together without pettiness or bitterness. Between them at least. Lydia still stayed on his ass and gave him every moment she could.

Finally, they had defeated the most recent big bad and that usually meant they’d have at least a week or two of downtime before the world tried to rip them each in half again. This also meant they could all do school work together, which lessened Y/n’s stress and also allowed for a much more friendly environment for them to coexist in. In this way, Isaac supposed, they got to a genuinely positive place instead of the professional, neutral relationship they’d had before. Well, not neutral... more like numb.

Unfortunately Y/n wasn’t exactly up to talking about his feelings. He needed a break from the chaos he’d had to put up with for the last while and honestly, Isaac didn’t blame him. Y/n was the backbone of their group, and they all knew it.

It was actually only when the next full moon hit that they finally got to have some genuine one-on-one time. Scott and Isaac had been long since under control, even on the full moon... or, they had, until it seemed a new big bad was showing their face. There were pheromones that had been pumped into the boys’ food at school which made them agitated, causing them to act out and lose control. Stiles had to take care of Scott, which left Y/n to watch over Isaac. Lydia offered to help him but she was the only one who had any sort of ability to get intel on what was going on - her job was to drive around and just let her intuition lead her to possible answers. Chris and Derek had gone with her to watch her back. If there was some major danger, Lydia was always the one who was directly in the middle of it.

Which meant that while Isaac was chained up against the stone pillar, Y/n had to sit nearby and wait for things to possibly go wrong. They didn’t know if they really would - but just in case, they were here.

For a long time, they sat in silence. It was an easy, comfortable silence though. One they’d fallen into hundreds of times before. The kind where they rested and just enjoyed each other’s presence. Isaac didn’t know if that was the case this time around for Y/n, but he ah least fell into the old thoughts and feelings he always did. They washed over him, soothing his aching soul and tethering his wandering heart just like it always did.

He let his body relax, held up by the chains as he closed his eyes. He inhaled long and slow, taking in the smell of Y/n - the one that had always been a sign of home to him. It helped with the millions of things that seemed to tick him off just a little too much. Things that usually would just be white noise - things he didn’t even register. Now he drowned them all out by focusing on Y/n’s heartbeat as well.

“You seem to be doing well.” Seeming to be aware that Isaac was listening very intently, Y/n had only whispered. The sudden noise startled him a little bit, but it wasn’t aggravatingly loud or sudden like normal talking would have been... it probably also helped that Isaac really loved the sound of Y/n’s voice.

“I think so.” He opened his eyes, looking over at the other boy. Isaac wondered if he should share what was helping him keep calm. “I’m good at chilling myself out I guess.”

Y/n nodded. After a second, he added, “You’re using me as an anchor again aren’t you?”

It wasn’t an accusation, or said with any discomfort. Just an observation, more than anything. Y/n had heard about how Allison had been an anchor for Scott once upon a time and had proffered the same for him potentially filling that role for Isaac. It had worked of course. They had stopped talking about it after things got messy, but it still wasn’t secret. Isaac didn’t even find himself surprised that Y/n had remembered.

So he decided to just be honest. “I never stopped.”

That seemed to take Y/n by surprise. His eyes darted away and he crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh.” His heartbeat picked up and Isaac had to swallow a smile. He always enjoyed making Y/n flustered.

Giving Y/n some mercy, Isaac cleared his throat and decided to shift to a conversation he wanted to have more anyway. “Do you think it’s still a bad time or can we still talk about... us, and stuff?”

Y/n snorted, looking back at the blue eyed wolf, then moving to eye the chains that bound him. “You want to do this right now?”

“I mean-“ Isaac began. “There’s not really any better time for it. A lot has been going on, and in our lives that doesn’t really ever stop. And if it does, none of us want to talk about stressful things. We just want to relax. So, yeah, since we’re not actively fighting for our lives or scrambling to get information before the w world caves in around us, I would like to do this right now.”

Y/n’s lips curved into a small smile. “Fair enough.” He sighed, long and slow. “So where do we start?”

“Probably with how sorry I am,” Isaac responded smoothly, far too casually and without missing a beat. It was almost like he was saying a joke. Perhaps, a little, he was.

Y/n found himself chuckling a little. “Yeah, that’s a safe bet.” He shook his head. “Honestly it’s been a while - I’m over it. I’ve forgiven you. We both made dumb choices and chaos ensued. I get it. Thats not what really keeps me up at night.”

Isaac looked at him, partly worried and partly desperate. “What keeps you up at night?”

Y/n looked back at him. “I love you, Isaac. I don’t feel this way about anyone else. I... don’t think I will for a very long time, if ever. And if we’re doing this, I know it won’t be as friends. But... no repeats of last time. No other people or not talking about emotions or disappearing for two months without a single word. If you need space fine - you tell me, and you keep me updated. If I have to worry about you like that again... feel so disposable and unimportant to you? It’s over. Over over.”

Isaac looked up at him, boiling over with sincerity. He felt a sudden need for Y/n to believe him when he said, “I am sorry.” Not for his sake, but for Y/n’s. Even if they really didn’t work out, Y/n needed to understand that Isaac hated what he had done. That if he could, he would undo it. “I really am. I love you so much Y/n and I made some really stupid decisions that lead to mistakes I really regret. I shouldn’t have just run and left you behind. But I did...” he swallowed. “I can’t change that. But I can promise I will never make that mistake again - and I will. I do. I promise.”

Y/n stepped closer, almost timid. He pressed his forehead to Isaac’s after a moment. “You really promise?” His voice was barely a whisper, like he was scared to believe Isaac. Honestly... that tracked.

Isaac knew words meant nothing, but Y/n also needed something. Some kind of reassurance. So he tiled his head, capturing Y/n’s lips with his own. He kissed the other man hard and deep, with as much passion as he could muster while still tied up. Y/n got lost in it immediately, leaning as close to Isaac as he could, his hands going into the boy’s hair. After a moment they finally parted.

Into the quiet, with the only other sound being their breathing, Isaac finally answered: “I promise.”

And Y/n believed him. There was too much unspoken in that kiss; it had been so much more. A seal on a promise.

Neither boy knew what would come tomorrow, or even that night, but now at the very least they knew whatever happened, it would happen to both of them. They’d face it together. For now that could be enough.

-

Male readers tag: @stuckoutsideofthebox

[pourcap]

thoughts: pg chapter 8

idk what's happening but i hate the regent

damen hurrying to get back to the camp and being genuinely worried about laurent when now, finally, he could escape without anyone getting in his way... so much has already changed between them and they're not even really close yet <3

his poor horse :(

yay laurent is okay !!

'You’re alive,’ Damen said, and the words came out on a rush of relief that made him feel weak. ‘I’m alive,’ said Laurent. They were gazing at one another. ‘I wasn’t sure you’d come back.’ ‘I came back,’ said Damen. ???? what was that omg i have no clue what's going on between them anymore but whatever it is, i am 100% on board <3 what laurent said made it seem like he was just as relieved to see damen as damen was to see him and that's really... unexpected? and sweet? and it makes me a little sad too because sometimes i feel like laurent appreciates damen for not being afraid to be straight with him, if that makes sense. damen doesn't sexualize him, doesn't really fear him (at least not enough to keep himself from being brutally honest with him), doesn't have an 'instinct for deception', etc. what i'm trying to say is, i feel like that allows laurent to be less guarded? which is also why he might've been so honest with damen at the end of chapter 7

damen checking laurent's body for injuries :'((

i genuinely think damen is one of my favorite fictional characters ever

'That’s why I think we should fight,’ said Laurent. ‘It’s the last thing I would ever do, and the last thing that anyone, knowing me, would expect.' aaaaaah that's so sexy of him!!! yes, win against your horrible uncle with damen by your side!!! <3

Laurent said, ‘I have recently learned that sometimes it is better to simply smash a hole in the wall.' he is still thinking about damen's strength vs. that grille :)))))

orlant died??? noooooo

wait what

orlant was an insurgent?? and aimeric killed him?? literally HOW is aimeric always right where something happens? like, either he's just there, or he's the cause. i mean, i'm happy he was there to look out for laurent, but still. how unlucky can one person be to always be right in the middle of things?

ugh sorry but i hate aimeric so much. everything he says sounds so overly dramatic. i know he just killed someone and he's young, but i just can't stand him. what does jord see in him? :((((

another mention of nikandros so i'm guessing there's a deeper connection between him and damen? bc, if i remember correctly, he's the only akielon other than damen's immediate family and jokaste that he's ever mentioned...?

Pulling his sword from the man who had tried to knife him, Damen saw the mercenary at his right fall victim to a precise killing. ‘I thought you were supposed to be the bait,’ said Laurent. that was so sexy of laurent

damen is seriously the coolest <3

He had achieved new status among them as the quick thinker who had saved half the men and all of the wine. lol. priorities :)

He leaned his back against the tree beside Laurent, and let his limbs feel heavy. at this point i'm drooling over everything damen does...

'It’s because of you,’ said Laurent. the honesty!!!

'(...) After what I did to you in Arles, he thought you’d be—another Govart. Another one of his men. (...) That was what was supposed to have happened tonight.' oh wow. i hate the regent and LOVE laurent and damen becoming a power couple <3

'Instead, you have saved my life, more than once. You have made fighters of these men, trained them, honed them. Tonight you handed me my first victory. My uncle never dreamed you’d be this kind of asset to me. If he had, he would never have allowed you to ride out of the palace.' sorry for once again quoting sm but i am sitting here smiling from ear to ear. that's exactly the kind of fuck you the regent deserves to get from both laurent and damen. plus a devastatingly long and torturous death obviously

i love this. i loooooooove this. i love prince's gambit so much <3

[crossover-enthusiast]

Jack and Streber brother headcannons??? Perhaps???

Hehehe-

You know the drill, stuff under the cut

- The difference in age between them is probably about 7-10 years? Their parents weren't expecting another kid after Jack, but they adore Streber all the same - This technically isn't a brother headcanon but before I adopted it I headcanoned that Jack's last name is Flic, the French word for cop. I don't want to change it so that's Streber's last name now too lol - These two were inseparable when they were little, they did everything together! - They are both autistic (and undiagnosed) bc I said so - In their old hometown Jack and Streber were bullied for being the "weird kids". Jack protected Streber a lot and this caused the two to rely on each other even more - Their family moved to the spookytown when Jack was a teenager, and the town is so messed up nobody cared if they were a little weird sometimes so it was v good for them both - They are absolutely the reason boxes and plastic totes have the "don't put small children in this" warning - They are German and also bilingual! Jack has surprised many a person by suddenly speaking German - They are probably also the type of people to come up with a made up sibling language so when they were kids they just constantly swapped between English, German, and their own language and no one had any idea what they were saying - Streber shares Jack's fear of clowns lol, please save them - When Streber was in theater club in HS Jack tried to attend every show Strebs was an actor in, and in general Jack is just super supportive of him - When Streber came back to town after his failed stint as an actor Jack took him out for dinner to catch up. It was nice :> - They are such bad enablers to each other oh my god - If Jack has a day off when Streber's doing his haunted house, sometimes he'll come over and help out, usually as a scarer - Huge fans of dark humor. Sometimes use it to cope - Jack gets Brother Privilege discounts at Go Nuts For Donuts - A funny series of miscommunications led to Jack having no idea the candy kid was Streber's boyfriend, and Kevin having no idea one of the cops he insulted was Streber's brother -- Jack knew Streber was dating someone, and Kevin knew he had a brother, they just didn't know who. The eventual meetup was very awkward lol - If Kevin ever actually did patch things up with John and Jack, John and Kevin would take one look at Jack and Streber goofing around and go "yeah that explains a lot"

And because you're probably expecting it, angsty post-Tender Treats headcanons >:>

- Jack left his phone at home (he forgets to grab it sometimes), so he found out about Streber literally right as they were leaving the hospital after getting the amulet from Patty, still arguing about Jack's prank, because a nurse caring for Streber saw them - Whatever anger John had in the moment completely dissipates as he watches Jack's face just drop - He then had to go collect Jack as he just ran off for Streber without actually getting what room he was in from the nurse - They're only allowed to visit Streber for a little bit since he's in the ICU (and unconscious, so they couldn't talk anyways), but Jack hangs around outside his room for a good while before John finally manages to pull him away to go home - Jack is silent for the rest of the night and most of the next day just. Thinking. It's almost unnerving, how hollow he seems - So you know that bit in my John and Jack headcanons where after the fire John spirals because he couldn't stop thinking about what could have happened? That's kinda what Jack's going through here. He keeps replaying Evermore chewing them out, Patty "congratulating" them on letting eight people get killed, because they're right. If they had focused on Bob and dealt with him sooner, nine people would still be alive, Streber wouldn't be down an arm and on death's door, and it's all their fault, his fault his fault his fault- - This is one of those rare times where John comforts Jack and whoo boy he's still really bad at it, but he's trying. Compared to Jack's reassurance, John's methods are more to ground, keep him from getting stuck in his head over it, y'know? - One of the only brightsides of this whole thing is that Kevin and Jack actually managed to bond because of it, a little bit. They keep coming to see Streber at the same time bc of how their shifts line up, and even if he's asleep Kevin just sits next to Streber's bedside to be with him. Makes Jack realize just how much Kevin cares for his little brother, and maybe that he isn't such a bad guy after all - After Streber gets out of the hospital Jack is SO PROTECTIVE OF HIM. John honestly can't fault him for it since he was the same way with his kid after the fire (and still is lol) - If you so much as look at Streber wrong when both Jack and Kevin are in view you will feel a sudden inescapable wave of dread wash over you

- Streber doesn't blame Jack at all for what happened, he couldn't have known what Bob was going to do (and tbh hearing what Jack did to him made him feel a little better about the whole thing) - One of the first things Streber saw when he woke up was Jack looming over him and while it's funny in hindsight he screamed so loud - After that, though, there was a hug. A hug where two grown men fucking bawled - Streber passed out shortly after Bob walked off the porch, and the only things he could feel were pain, fear, and a tiny bit of hurt from Skid and Pump thinking he was just some prop -- seeing that he's still alive, with someone that actually cares, just makes him lose it. Jack meanwhile is a mix of relief and guilt, seeing Streber awake after days on end pops the cork on the bottle of emotions he'd been holding back - Streber really appreciated Jack and Kevin being there as often as they were. Being in a small hospital room all by himself just made him feel cramped and antsy - Streber both loves and hates how protective Jack's gotten of him, because on one hand it reminds him of when they were kids and it's nice to think of that during a time like this, but on the other he feels babied when Jack tries to help him with every little thing and he does not need that - Though on a lighter note to the above, it kinda is just like they're kids again -- the night Streber got out of the hospital they had a big horror movie marathon for the first time in ages, and it was fun! - Streber also kinda sorta takes advantage of the whole thing to make Jack and Kevin finally bury the hatchet and get along. He's tired of his boyfriend being scared of his brother >:{ - If that does happen, Streber eventually convinces them and John to go on a double date. Kevin is mildly stressed and John acts like he hates it, but by the end of the night they're all having a nice time - Jack chips in when he can to help Streber get a prosthetic. None of them have insurance lol

There you go :> 🍩🦇

Jack's part of the post-TT hcs was kinda just ranting about a fic idea I had, hah, hope you don't mind