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#it often feels like i don't belong in this world. with societal expectations n all that
noxtivagus
·
2 years
Text
i wna write
#🌙.rambles
#just abt anything n everything really
#even if it's not particularly good or just a dump from my messy head
#i've always loved to write
#yeah i've always been an open person in terms of how i express myself
#i loved painting as well when i was a kid >.>
#n i learned the piano too yeah music
#but then aside from creatives i also performed well in school
#i rmb it was mostly just probably a lack of recitation that maybe pulled me down a bit
#bruh i've always been generally quiet but loud when i'm comfy huh
#hmm one thing i like about myself is my intelligence
#it's pretty balanced out just the way i've grown to like it. one way i love myself
#i'm far from the smartest. i'm no genius. but i am naturally smart
#part of my intelligence is my curiosity and capacity for deep emotions and my capability to learn quickly
#but i'm somewhere in this weird clash of still 'fitting in' and feeling so out of place
#it often feels like i don't belong in this world. with societal expectations n all that
#i still perform well. i can't deny that. but it weighs me down n makes me do worse than i would have otherwise
#i'm gna read n write more again. of all sorts of things
#there's no end to what i want to learn from all aspects of life.
#from stories to games to sciences to peoples to . everything
#wah i have sm to do perhaps it wld be a waste to regret when i cld allocate that time for the future instead
#costantly confused with an abundance of dilemmas and questions
#it's interesting though. that's why i keep on going. there's so much more left to see and experience and learn and understand
#i will not leave anything undone until i accomplish all that i can. i will not lose.
#n along the way i hope to find more of myself. more meanign each n every time. people and memories. lessons and stories.
#the vast depth of life intrigues me. even if i feel like i'm not a part of it then oh well i can observe from afar for now
#someday i hope somewhere in myself i can finally allow myself to accept all that for me as well. properly. wholly
#idk i have a habit of ending up treating things like work;; my innate sensitivity makes me overthink n overanalyze easily n. help wait
#im doing that to myself again >.> idk i think i want to read more to see from other's perspectives
#bcs most of what i know isn't actually from idk informative books. nah this is from my life n my thinking n emotions
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