#it sucks but it's also so ridiculously over the top ahaha

[god-i-hope-so]

Reading the anti-Tommy anons some of you guys get is GOLD. It's supposed to be mean and all but it's like pure comedy, I can't 😂

[worstloki]

Top Forty Thor-Being-Thor Moments from Thor 1

just absolute dumb*ssery that this 7yr old kid’s life goal is to “hunt down the monsters and slay them all”. I’ll go easy on him here and let the Thor/Loki expressions do the talking because of “...just like you did Father” but seriously can his hands even fit around a sword handle??? this kid isn’t even punching the air right??? if there was a sword in his hand he would’ve cut his head with the way he’s moving???? pure tiny-himbo energy here just look at that >:o face he’s making. contrasts very nicely with Loki’s ‘,:|. 10/10. such a baby idiot.

“the jotuns must pay for what they have done! they broke into the weapons vault! if the frost giants had stolen even one of these relics!” thor. thor please. can you even name one of these relics. thor. hey thor. thor. shut up. “well, what would you do about this?” odin asks him. “march into jotunheim! like you once did! break their spirits! so they’ll never try anything like this again!” wow okay so we’ve fast-forwarded by like a thousand years and thor is still going on about genocide. huh. that’s funny, i thought loki was the genocidal one. hmm. i also just realized that the loki exclusive clip gives loki the same hairstyle thor has here so do what you will with that information.

0/10. horrible. terrible. i dont care how angy thor is about not getting to kill some jotuns or become king today this very instant, that is a tremendous waste of food. an absolute fool. how can he just remorselessly throw the bread to the floor. if loki stabbed him when he was 7 he would deserve it for this table flip alone. what a privileged white *ssh*le.

loki came skulking around a corner and suggested not to go to jotunheim and not only did thor not suspect anything but he also then went on to decide to go to jotunheim. 10/10 himbo material. 

if tumblr didn’t have a picture limit i would put every instance of thor smiling in this list because look at that stupid smile. he’s such an idiot. 11/10. this is the thor content i’m here for.

“I have no plans to die today” thor says with the stupidest open-mouthed smirking smile ever captured on film. right after he also told heimdall not to tell anyone they’re gone. he’s literally planned to strand them on jotunheim. thor’s grand plan was to strange themselves on jotunheim and also start a fight. i repeat: thor’s plan was to successfully slay all the frost giants and not need to return until they’re all gone. what an absolute d*mb*ss. this is getting ridiculous. this was originally a top-ten-thor moments list but i’m not even twenty minutes in so i’ll have to extend the list. thor. thor are you listening? thor, you’re such an idiot.

“HOW DID YOUR PEOPLE GET INTO ASGARD?!” thor you sweet sweet summer idiot, please, i am beggin,g you,, learn to rea,d , a room,, literally everyone else who came with you is regretting it, there is complete silence and only the rumble of the opposing king is meeting your “I AM THOR, SON OF ODIN”s, please, please take some notes from Loki, or, you know, literally anyone else in the room, since everyone is asking you to get out of this realm while you still can,

thor’s stupid smile makes an appearance after he gets called a princess and decides to fight a whole realm over it. you know what? thor is a princess. he’s the prettiest princess in all the lands. what’s thor gonna do about it? is he going to fight me too? I hope he does the stupid grin first. minus 15 points for the sexism. thor is a complete and utter sadistic fool who needs to get a hobby. seriously, he’s 1500 years old and still going on and on about slaying all the frost giants. boi, i hate to break it to you, but your dad is not the best or only example of greatness out there. i don’t think your dad even qualifies as an example of that. 

“THEN. GO!” 🥰 ahh yes, just thor thingz 🥰🥰 like when one friend has had his arm burnt 🥰 and another friend has been impaled and needs medical attention, 🥰🥰 and all the rest of your friends are yelling for you, 🥰 and your brother is telling you they must go, 🥰 and you decide to buy everyone time by laughing maniacally and killing more frosties because you care for them and dont find joy in destruction like a loon 🥰🥰🥰 

THIS is the iconic Thor moment that makes my day whenever I think about it. Just Thor, an absolute bumbering 6′6′’ giant boodlusting dummy sees Odin and just decides to yell “FATHAA!! WE’LL FINISH THEM TOGETHAAA!” as if the last thing Odin told him wasn’t “no, thor, we’re not going to do anything to the frost giants, do not go after them and try to kill them all.” 11/10 d*mb*assery right here folks, I couldn’t ask for Thor to be more of a fool. This is PEAK Thor energy. Look at that face. I feel like Thor spends half this movie with his nostrils flared. I love it.

okay i gotta give thor credit for rightfully calling odin “an old man and a fool” but also there was not even 1 frame of the scene where Thor had a decent face so now all i see is >:O >:| >:o >:[ when i watch that scene. yelling at odin was great, not yelling at odin after he HUAERGHed at loki was less great, but to be fair it’s thor and he is the definition of Peak D*mb*ss. 

thor literally GROWLS and starts yelling “HAMMAA?? HAMMER??” over and over. He was hit by a van, he fainted, he woke up and started growling. I don’t know what else there is to say about this.

“you dare threaten me? puny human?”. so. uhh. basically. Thor knew she was threatening him? He KNEW she had a weapon? instead he made a face and started yelling as he tried to walk his way closer????? thor you complete and utter dum dum. you frickin hairball-for-brains. im not even surprised darcy tasered him. with that kind of face, i’d taser him too.

when you wake up in an unknown place to a person smiling at you without a stupid smile, the first step is always to attack first and ask questions later 😌😌😌 (but seriously thor you imbecile why didn’t you ask where you were instead of throwing multiple people around the room and getting your butt needled. you clueless buffoon. you’ll remain a clueless buffoon if you don’t listen to anyone.)

just a quick recap but thor was knocked unconscious by a van and these people kidnapped him aboard and the next scene we see him in he’s checking himself out in  mirror after presumably changing right there in the open?????? these are the things that make thor thor. any other character and i’d question it so much, but this is thor, and i truly believe this is in-character for him. just change in the open because why not? thor is a beefcake and that’s his only redeeming quality and he knows it. 10/10 thor moment. 

I am now convinced that Thor saw Jane and “5k van-hitter to lover slow-burn height-difference himbo-scientist trope” flashed through his mind.

“but no more smashing!” Jane says, and then Thor proceeds to check her out and smile unlike an idiot and like a douche. was this his version of flirting???? i’m not one to decide, but yes, yes it was. He threw a cup to the ground and broke it, and she’s getting mad at him and berating him about it, and he’s liking it. y’all i’m sorry to break it to you like this, but thor has a canon fetish. i am so, so sorry.

im DYING. THAT ISN’T EVEN A KISS, HIS MOUTH IS OPEN. he SMUSHES his mouth around her knuckle???? WHY. I can’t keep noticing things like this. send help. please. Jane’s response makes so much more sense now; she’s laughs for a solid 3 seconds and shakes her head and is like “uhh, thank you? ahaha,” and then she keeps looking back longingly when walking away. they are doing this in PLAIN sight of EVERYONE. Darcy and Erik are standing RIGHT THERE, and Thor is doing weird things to her with his mouth. I’m out. I am done here. goodbye. 

return of the stupid smile AND the douche smile in quick succession through the entire trip. their entire dialogue is peppered with innuendo. “I’ve never done anything like this before. have you ever done anything like this before?” “many times, but you are brave to do it.” “I have nothing else to lose.” “ah but you are clever, far more clever than anyone else on this realm.” “realm? rEaLm?” “you think me strange?” “yes” “good strange or bad strange?” “I haven’t decided yet.” I AM DYING OVER THIS. plus, we get Return Of The Himbo with Jane asking after Einstein Rosen bridges and Thor is like “uh, actually, more like a rainbow bridge 😜🤪” i feel so sorry for jane here, didn’t know how much of a d*mb*ss Thor was when signing up for this van-trip and knuckle-sucking 😭😭😭 i also no longer have questions about how the trip that SHOULD HAVE BEEN A HALF-HOUR ONE turned into one that LASTED TILL THE SUN WENT FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE SKY TO SETTING by the time they arrived. I have no questions. please. I don’t want to know what they were doing in that van. please no. don’t make me think about it.

thor’s plan had 3 steps and they were 1. give jane his jacket 2. walk in and get his hammer 3. fly out. that was literally his plan. he had the first “I have a plan. attack.” moment in the MCU. pure concentrated 0-brain-cells energy right here. how can you not stan this king of d*mb*ssery. look at him, flaunting his big boy muscles. he’s about get his hammer and fly out, like he just told jane with a trademark stupid-smile.

crop-top hair-mop thor is my favourite thor. the way the entire fight scene parallels a hamster in a maze only exemplifies the thor vibes for some inexplicable reason.

“you’re big. fought bigger.” + Thor douche-smile + subtext from earlier + rolling around passionately in the mud = not a happy me. 

I swear i’m not making up this romantic subtext but it’s barely even subtext. the entire scene leading up to Thor’s attempt at lifting the hammer is actually filmed erotically. I’m not kidding. First there’s a shot where Thor pulls aside a hamster-cage-wall blind which mirrors a shower-curtain, and THEN he walks around the hammer while smiling douche-ly at it, we get a few close-ups to his face which are shot from angles slightly lower than himself, giving him an aire of superiority, plus the music adds to this, he reaches out for the hammer’s handle with a mud-covered arm in the rain, in non-slow-motion slow-motion, and he wraps his arm around it, like, he fully twists his arm, unecessarily sexually, around it as he grabs the hammer. This is not okay. On the plus side, it makes the movie much more entertaining,, on the down side,,.

im not going to call Thor dumb for not knowing he’s not worthy. im not going to. because odin literally whispered the enchantment to mjolnir after he’d thrown thor to midgard. it is very funny watching thor grunt in frustration though. he starts yelling because he couldn’t lift the hammer and just lets himself get caught. like, dude, get a life, go buy a new weapon from the store, seriously. he mourns for the hammer on-screen longer than he does for loki. he also looks like he’s in far more pain here. he becomes catatonic and unresponsive after this, but when loki dies he’s already feasting the same afternoon. 10/10 dum dum thor material. never change thor, never change. (that’s code for please change, thor, please,)

thor trying to establish dominance wherever he goes is the funniest thing because at this point he’s being a complete asgardian *ss about it and it’s reaching points of pettiness never seen before. side note: he is possibly flirting with selvig too. maybe. i’m not saying anything happened, but Thor’s openning lines when bringing him home carried over his shoulder are “he’s fine, not injured at all,” followed with an apology to selvig, and an explanation to jane which consisted only of “we drank, we fought, he made his ancestors proud,” and then he puts the man to bed and before he falls asleep erik says “i still don’t believe you’re the g*d of th*nder, but you ought to be,” so... your choice, i guess...

thor’s got his trademark stupid smile and stupidly takes jane’s life’s work notebook and starts doodling in it about trees. the last time his father told him this story about Yggdrasil was when he was 5 and he clearly hasn’t payed attention to any lesson about anything since and it shows so so much. thank you thor. very insightful knowledge you’re passing on hear. ‘i come from a world where [science and magic] are one and the same,’ ok great, now elaborate on that please. oh, right, you can’t because you’re thor, my bad, 20/10 thor behaviour. he couldn’t even doodle nicely. all his lines are wobbly. epic art fail. i wouldn’t trust him near my sketchbook with a 2B pencil.

THIS is thor’s realization face. in case anyone was interested in what ‘dawning truth’ looked like on him. 😰😪 THIS is the face of a thinker, of a man betrayed by his own beloved brother for unprecedented reasons. look at the nuance in his expression. 😩😩😩 so many emotions, I can’t even count them all 😩💯😪

stupid smile and “do not worry my friends, i have a plan,” he says, “i’ll just try and abuse the fact that Loki’s super selfless and kind and has no self worth to my benefit as i have countless times before which is exactly what he’s rightfully angry about this time,” he doesn’t think to himself because that is NOT the smile of someone who is thinking... like, at all. +10000 points to gryffinthor. the d*mb*ssery really jumps out.

“im sorry bro for whatever i did and whatever you’re blaming me for as an excuse to do this, im sorry bro, but you’re disturbing innocents that i don’t really care about but you’re the one making a scene in front of them so why don’t you admit you won’t kill me and are just having a temper tantrum and we move on? hmm?” and then he proceeds to get slam dunked in the face with a metal arm like yEAAAA BOI that’s what you GET for going up against the SENTIENT LAVA-SPEWING metal-man ya absolute dunderhead clod. thunderhead clod? yeah, that. he’s just so dumb, your honour, please, you must understand, the victim pleads guilty on all charges of d*mb*ss and d*mb*ss alone.

I can NOT describe the emotions I feel knowing that Thor is suck-kissing Jane’s knuckles. Like, his mouth is literally jelly-ing it up against her hand. There is suction there and it shows when he is placing and removing his mouth. I promise that’s what is happening. I’m not any happier than you about this. I regret everything. This is why Loki should be what is focused on and not Thor; Thor’s going around trying to frick frack everything in sight even if it’s just Jane’s hand. He’s maintaining eye contact with Jane while he licks her fingers. Why did I decide to rewatch this movie. 

i’m only adding this in as a thor moment because of how desperately and badly they kiss. seriously. 2/10 kiss. im not surprised jane broke up with him. they look like two actual seals fighting over an actual grape. while i’m here i’m going to criticize every fic ever that decided thor is an experienced gentle lover. what were y’all on when watching this movie. thor can and will f*ck literally everything in sight and he won’t even do it well because he is the peakest of peak d*m d*m. look at this man. look at his face. that is the face of an absolute himbo idiot, and it’s the face of an absolute himbo idiot who knows it. he’s been stranded on earth for 2 days, max, and his flirt-count is at 69 people because his name is one letter away from thot. i bet his terrible use of a pen from early means he writes his ‘r’s like ‘t’s and he doesn’t even care. 1000/10 thor moment. doesn’t get much more romance-thor than two individuals smooshing their faces together after some finger sucking. that finger sucking is gonna leave jane simping for years. and that’s true love babey. <3

“I’ll handle my Brother!” Thor says, as if Loki didn’t send a metal-murder-bot that quite virtually killed him less than ten minutes ago asdfhkhsdgsdjf Thor, you horrific himbo you, Loki’s weapon of choice is literally throwing knives he will literally kill you before you enter the room if he’s on his game and wants you dead which he just proved he would do and you’re just gonna???????????? jog on over to him????? Thor??????????? bruH???????????? buddy??????? pal???????? you really wanna go 1v1 the brother you very clearly underestimate and know nothing about????????????????? im loving the confidence, but, no.

Loki: “you literally can’t stop this from here.” Thor, immediately: “i’m going to hit it with the hammer and see if that works” and then it does in fact work later... technically speaking, even if it ends up causing chaos destruction and death and loki falling off the bifrost 😔😔😔 but Big Brain Thor is the Biggest Brained Thor!!! The plan worked!! in a messy-Thor-ish way, but it did!!!

“you can’t kill an entire race!!!!” Thor yells, teeth gritted, as he faces his brother, his coward pacifist brother, who has suddenly decided he wants to join the age-old family tradition of realm-destroying, when this is supposed to be Thor’s dream, Thor’s, not Loki’s. How dare he, Thor thinks to himself, fist clenched around Mjolnir in anger, the pain of the handle pressing against his palm perhaps the only thing preventing him from lashing out at this thought, that’s my planet of monsters to slay, he should go get his own! Loki hits Thor across the face with the back-end of his spear. “Now fight me,” Loki says, but Thor, well, Thor cannot fight, as he remains stunned that of all things Loki would dare steal his life’s ambition, and he is sent sprawling backwards across the observatory, slowly but surely sliding to a stop despite his catatonic, very symbolic silence.

the elegance, the poise, i see your time on earth has made you no less graceful, Thor. the simple magnitude of this sprawl. the spread of the arms. the turn of the feet. this is not a dude, this is a man.

sometimes your brother starts vehemently talking about he’s gonna kill the race of monsters and about how he’s only ever wanted to be your equal and about how he’s not your brother and never was and sometimes you just have to say “this is madness” instead of addressing the issues or asking for any of the  deets 🔥 👊💯😩

Loki is whipping Thor’s butt. Both literally, and metaphorically, Loki is whooping Thor’s d*mb*ss. Earlier he knicked Thor’s face, now he’s just pushing Thor around, he uses the spear as a pole and later kicks Thor’s face by kicking vertically up, and Thor, bless him in all his blond golden muscled glory, doesn’t think anything is up with this, gosh he’s such an absolute utter idiot

sometimes your brother laughs way too much and also cries too much in a fight and there are also too many of him so you just need to blast lightning so you get a shot at all of them 😌😌😌 and then put your magical infinitely-heavy hammer on his chest 😌😌😌 but it’s okay because Thor left holes in Loki’s container 😌😌😌

now THIS is the meat to Thor’s funny bone, just the pure unadulterated humour that is Thor saying that there will never be a “wiser king” or a “better father” than Odin, it cracks me up every single time without fail, just the way he says it with a straight face and— what do you mean he wasn’t joking

look at Thor’s stupid smile as he asks Heimdall to spy on jane every single day while conveniently never asking after Loki ever. This is Thor’s face in mourning after he attended a feast after everyone was celebrating after Loki’s death. Look at his stupid smile. I love him your honour. He’s just,, he’s just so frickin stewpeed, just Thor being Thor, just the purest of d*mbest of *sses. 

[lavenderlight]

1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 29, 31, 33, 34, 35, 36, 39, 40 >:)

Ahdgkhh okay here we go!!!

1: Which TES games have you played?

All 5 main series games, ESO, and Blades!

2: Favorite TES game?

Oblivion........ like the other games have traits I like more, but also cons. Like... if I had to pick a game to just play with only the Unofficial Patch, it’d be that one.

3: When and how you got into TES? I was at a game store with my brother and we saw Oblivion with all these award “amazing game” stickers on it on clearance. So picked it up. I wasn’t impressed right away (remember picking dark elf tho) so put it down. My bro played it and said “omg you have to get out of the tutorial dungeon that sucks but the rest of the game is so good!” So I made a bosmer and did and there rest is history. TES has been a special interest of mine and a big comfort series for a decade now!  4: Favorite race Bosmer! Dunmer are a close second though. Thanks Morrowind. 5: Favorite province Valenwood........... love it............ Cyrodiil too because I’m basic. 6: Favorite character Ahdjgh hard to pick because there are so many! Off the top of my head, Dagoth Ur/Voryn Dagoth, Indoril Nerevar (what a shock, I know), Serana Volkihar, Glarthir, The Adoring Fan (don’t @ me), The Jemane Brothers, Marcurio, really all the characters from ESO’s main quest and the ending side quests who help you 😭😭. 7. Favorite faction

Thieves’ Guild, minus Skyrim’s. Skyrim’s Thieves’ Guild was awful eww.

8: Which province you would like to live in

If the lore and history and stuff weren’t a thing, Summerset because it’s aesthetic and has nice beaches. Realistically, probs Cyrodiil because I’m basic and I like how it’s a melting pot of various races and cultures!

As much as I love Valenwood, wouldn’t be able to handle the Green Pact

9: Which deity/deities would you worship?

Dibella - because I like how she’s the divine for the arts, and actual true love and beauty in the world (feel like she’s the divine most likely to say gay rights and trans rights). That vibes with me.

Makes me sad that both in the games and in the fandom, she’s reduced to “ha ha slutty sex goddess”. 

10: Favorite Divine

Dibella because see above.

11: Favorite Daedric Prince

Oh boy... hajdg I love Daedra (except Molag Bal - eww)!!! So it’s hard to pick. Just rapid fire listing some favs: Sheogorath, Meridia, Azura, Barbas (does he count?), Hircine... 

12: Favorite enemy

Dagoth Ur

13: Favorite dungeon

Hmmm, I feel like I’m forgetting some, but I enjoyed Nocturnal’s trial dungeon in Skyrim because I like sneaking and it was all based on that.

14. You have awakened and you are a Cliff Racer. What do you do?

Hunt and kill anyone who dares to step outside Seyda Neen lol

15: What would you do if you contracted vampirism?

C u r e

16: What would you do if you contracted lycanthropy?

C u r e

17: Are there any characters you have crushes on?

Not rly because I’m ace.

 If so, who?

18: Favorite Great House

The Sixth House. The Tribe Unmourned. The-

Honestly all of them are whack and have... issues. When I played Morrowind, I didn’t join any of them lol. Telvanni is at least entertaining and very out there which makes them cool. So I guess them?

19: Favorite TES music

Ahaha... I sold my soul to Jeremy Soule... I have so so many... :’)

“The Road Most Travelled”, “Peaceful Waters”, “Stilt Sunrise”,  “Auri-El’s Ascension”, “Sunrise of Flutes”, “Harvest Dawn”, “All’s Well” “The Streets of Whiterun”, “Secunda” (this is one of my all time favourite video game songs!), “Sovngarde”, “One They Fear”

Then from ESO which has other composers too: “Northpoint Nocturne”, “Moth, Butterfly, and Torchbug”, and “Grazelands Dawn” (mostly because it’s a remix of “The Road Most Travelled” 🥺)

Oh, and this song from the Morrowind dlc because the remaster of “Nerevar Rising” from 2:54 onward. (which how could I forget “Nerevar Rising”? Ugh it gives me feels! The Oblivion and Skyrim main themes are very near and dear to me too)

Also really enjoyed this song from Clockwork City - captures the melancholy vibe and I like the clock noises in it.

20: In your opinion, what is the scariest thing in TES?

I can’t stand spiders so anytime anything having to do with them shows up... I play with mods that remove them and in ESO,  I have a list of dungeons and places to avoid. If I have to do one, I make someone go with me and kill them for me lol.

The Lighthouse Quest in Skyrim was also mega spooky. As for lore, soul trapping and the Soul Cairn really freaks me out! I can’t bring myself to use soul trapping because it bothers me :( I headcanon that when a soul gem runs out of charge, the soul is freed because it’s the only way I can sleep at nigh leave me alone lol 21: Favorite main quest Morrowind, hands down. I will infodump and discuss that game’s plot forever. 22: Favorite side quest

I really like the Daedric Shrine quests, they’re always fun. Also love the silly little short quests like in Morrowind when you have to help the guy get his pants back, or in ESO where you gotta find the lost dog in Valenwood and pet it.

Oblivion has loads of side quests I loved... the missing dunmer painter, Hackdirt, that quest with the ladies who are killing men, the Floating Bowl quest... the mystery at Chorrol Castle....

23: Most frustrating experience in a TES game

I get mad any time the sneaking mechanics in ESO don’t work like the main games. Because I always play an archer-thief lol.

That one fabricant machine puzzle in Tribunal.... oh man........ I had to look it up.

And also the final boss for Clockwork City was annoying. Don’t go to the Clockwork City!

24: Funniest experience in a TES game

Other than moments intended to be funny, I sometimes laugh whenever I miss a jump and end up dying from fall damage. It’s so ridiculous.

Dagoth Ur’s “What are you doing?!” when you first attack the Heart always gets a chuckle out of me too. He sounds so... upset and disappointed in you? Lol

25: Most badass moment in a TES game

The ending to ESO’s main quest was a rly big power fantasy moment for me.

Also more mundane, but I felt really cool and powerful when I got to the point in Morrowind where I could one shot kill cliff racers lol

26: Saddest experience in a TES game

The ESO side quest, “The Soul-Meld Mage” in Coldharbour. After that one, I had to step away for a bit.... man. It hurt my heart and I still feel so bad. That was a case in the game where I really felt impacted by how cruel and awful Molag Bal is. Like I *knew* but that quest played with my emotions and made it personal.

27: Favorite area/region

Valenwood from ESO. I spend all my time there, and sometimes go to Summerset or Vvardenfell lol.

28: Least favorite character

Vivec.

Also don’t like Maven-Black Briar. :I

29: In-game food item you want to eat the most

Sweetroll! 

Also this one recipe for a beef dish I found in Valenwood sounded good.  Maybe also the Sunrise Souffle mentioned in Skyrim?

30: If you could try skooma, would you?

No. Don’t do drugs, kids.

31: If you had the skills and resources to do a perfect cosplay of any TES character who would it be?

Probs Serana

32: Have you read any of the novels?

No, but I’ve been thinking about it!

33: Favorite class to play

Thief, or a thief-similar class like agent or rogue.

34: Which type of magic would you most like using?

Alteration seems the most useful for everyday life lol. But illusion would be fun.

35: Favorite weapon

I use bows all the time!

36: Favorite spell

Levitate from Morrowind - it’s so much fun to use!

37: Favorite artifact

Nerevar’s Moon-And-Star Ring. It’s cute lol and I like the lore behind it!

Also enjoy the Wabbajack because of how silly it is, and Dibella’s Brush of Truepaint.

38: You have awakened to find you’re in Tamriel. How do you react?

Because yeah I love TES but also the world of it is scary with gods and monsters constantly trying to kill you lol

39: Thoughts on ESO so far

I really enjoy the world and writing! But I’m still cranky over some moments where it’s an MMO and not a normal TES game :I

I also hate that we can’t have NPC companions.  You really gonna give me a clockwork nix-hound named Snuffler and not let me travel with him? For shame.

40: Character you’d most like to hang out with

Nerevar, because I’m very awkward and shy and bad at peopleing and I would hope he could teach me how to improve lol.

But to actually hang out and chill, Marcurio would be pretty fun lol

[sa-gt-tarrius]

A Visitor in Castle Bleck

Part 3/?

You’d managed to spend a week without being spotted again. It wasn’t a stellar achievement... but at least you were still alive. That’s gotta count for something, right?

However, it quickly became apparent that you were in a VERY tricky place to live in. You spotted that Mr. L guy passing by every day, so you could only assume he was living in the vicinity. And now that the pond had been compromised, you couldn’t risk going back, even if it didn’t seem like the mysterious figure lingering nearby had any ill will towards you. You couldn’t stay here: you had to move.

It’s not like moving was a big commitment this time, however. You only had the bag on your shoulder things inside it. Moving was as simple as finding a new place to stay. So after one last trip to the kitchen and the pond (after making sure Count Bleck wasn’t there), you set out. You didn’t know where you were going exactly, but you figured that going down would be safer in the long run. A long, straight staircase was the route you settled on taking.

After a while, you came to a VERY long hallway. The floor below you was cracked, and large gaps stretched across the floor ahead. Well, that isn’t safe. You walked ahead a bit more, stopping before the gaps in floor and peering down. You couldn’t see anything below—if you fell in, you’d be falling for a very long time. Sucking in a breath of air, you quickly stepped away. There had to be a safer way across.

A bit of movement caught your eye, somewhere up above and to the left. You glanced up along the walls, where countless mirrors hung erratically, glittering in the torchlight. You glanced at a lower mirror and stared at your own reflection for a moment, taking in your mangy appearance. You’d gotten skinnier... and your hair was a disheveled mess. Your clothes were filthy, too. God, what an absolute nightmare this was. You hoped that you could manage to bathe yourself sometime this week.

You passed the mirror by to glance at the next one. And then the next one. And the next one.

At the fourth mirror, you did a double take.

The mirror was the same as any of the others, but with one difference: your reflection was absent. The room behind you was reflected perfectly, but you were nowhere to be seen. That’s strange... You reached out, wondering what was wrong with the glass, and gasped. Your hand phased through where the glass should have been, and you landed with a sickening thump onto the floor beyond the mirror.

“Ahaha.”

Your entire body tensed at the sound of airy laughter. Someone‘s here. You whirled your head around, your breath hitching in your throat. No one was there, but the hairs on your neck stood erect. There was a person in the room with you. But where were they?

You had to restrain yourself from screaming. Instead, you backed yourself to the wall, fumbling for your dagger. Keeping your body low, you crawled along the outline of the room, straining your eyes. However, no one appeared, and you allowed yourself a moment of reprise. Maybe the laughter was coming from somewhere else in the castle. Maybe you were safe.

But then, something began wrapping around your torso.

Before you could think to struggle, you were suddenly hoisted off the ground, fighting against the tight encasing of satin gloves. A hand. You gasped, choking on your breath in a moment of pure horror.

“Well, well, well... what’s this?”

A whiff of air ruffled your locks. You craned your neck around, unable to look away from the face looming above you. Well... it wasn’t really a face. It was a mask, split half black and white down the centre. The face behind the mask was grinning—you knew that for a fact, even if you couldn’t see it. The twinkle in their eyes gave it away.

“Interesting,” his voice began in a sing-song tone. You struggled to free yourself from the vice-like grip, but the fingers around you tightened, locking you in place. “One of YOU? In the castle? I thought your kind stayed in the countryside.”

You froze, your thoughts screeching to a sudden halt. This guy knew about borrowers?!

The giant let a laugh escape him upon seeing your shock. “Oh, don’t act surprised. I’ve met quite a few of you before. You’re not as sneaky as you think you are.”

You restrained yourself from asking what happened to the borrowers he met, and if they were still alive. Instead, you said four small words—the first thing you’d said in days. “Please... let me go.”

“Let you go?” The giant’s head cocked, and the bells atop his purple and yellow hat jingled quietly. “I’m not trapping you, little mouse. You’re free to leave.” He lowered his hand, unwrapping you as you felt your feet touch the floor. You stumbled as you straightened yourself, brushing your clothes off. “In fact... I suspect you’re new here. You must’ve escaped Nastasia, correct?”

Unsure of who this Nastasia person was, you simply shrugged. Part of you wanted to run away while you had the chance, but you stood your ground, waiting for the right moment. If you bolted now, he’d certainly catch you again.

“Then... am I right to say you’re lost?”

You nodded meekly, not finding any worlds to say.

The giant hummed. “In that case, why don’t you accompany me for dinner?”

Wait wait wait, what?!

“Um... n—no thank you,” you stammered, not wanting to go anywhere with this freakazoid. “I should just—“

“It’s no issue,” the giant replied, cutting you off. “You’re starving, I can see that. And I’ve been dying for some intelligent conversation!” His hand rested on his forehead, and he posed dramatically, kicking his feet into the air. It took you a moment to realize that he was now floating in midair. “My room is rather secluded. We’ll have plenty of time to chat in privacy.”

Before you could think to refuse, the world around you suddenly warped. A rush of nausea hit you in waves, sending your stomach reeling. You squeezed your eyes shut as a bright light overtook you. And when you opened them again, your vision was met with a garish shade of green.

The room you found yourself in was rather empty. Aside from the ugly green wallpaper, it was a simple room with no windows or furniture... and no exits.

The strange masked giant hovered quietly to the other side of the room. He snapped is fingers, and a table suddenly appeared before him, followed by a chair. It towered over you—you strained your neck trying to see it all.

“Allow me to introduce myself.” The giant snapped again, and you found yourself flying off the ground, whirling through the air. You let out a startled yelp, but landed cleanly on your feet—right on top of the table. “My name is... Dimentio,” he chuckled, dipping into a bow. “And you are...?”

You blinked, still dizzy from all these strange sensations. Dimentio... Haven’t you heard that name somewhere? “I—I’m...” You licked your lips, thinking hard about what to say next. You’d have to choose your words carefully if you were going to survive this encounter. “I—I don’t know if I should say.”

Dimentio clucked his tongue. “Now that’s just ridiculous. What’s there to be concerned about? You’ve already broken all your little... rules.” His eyes scrunched behind his mask as he said that last word. “What’s the harm in a name? Besides, I already told you mine. It’d be rude not to tell me yours.”

When you didn’t reply immediately, Dimentio’s face fell a bit. “In that case... I’ll call you... Shrimp. Or perhaps Pint... or maybe Nugget. Do any of those strike your fancy?” You recoiled at each name, growing more and more annoyed. “Squirt also has a nice ring to it... Ooh, how about—“

“OR HOW ABOUT YOU JUST—“ You clapped your hand over your mouth, stopping yourself from finishing that rather crude insult. “I mean... could you just... pick something a little less... rude?”

“Ahaha. Very well. I’ll call you Fae. Does that suffice?”

“Fine,” you muttered, happy with something that wasn’t so demeaning. At least you didn’t have to give away your name. It would be nice to have at least a shred of integrity left for yourself. “So what now? What are we going to talk about?”

Dimentio laughed, his airy voice bouncing off the walls. “Oh, I have plenty of topics in mind, Fae. How about we start with what you were doing in my room?”

[drdelphinecormigay]

omg the bed sharing aus are my kryptonite i love so much omg

on one hand i wanna keep reading and asking for hc but also they just make me wish for a whole fic ahaha

i love the for love and softball inspired one ughhh do you have more? or like hcs of your other fav tropes?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, there is a reason why ‘there’s only one bed’ is such a commonly used trope - it’s just so good!

Ok here is a continuation of the last one and some other similar vibe hc’s based on other classic tropes:

- to continue the last hc (for love and softball inspired, they’re football co captains that hate each other - it’s there if you scroll back a little) - Arizona wakes up first in the morning (of course) and is mortified to find that she is laying on top of Callie. Like, head tucked into her neck, arm splayed across her chest, leg tucked between one of Callie’s. She’s so embarrassed, because she’s never done this before. She’s shared countless beds with teammates and has always managed to stick to her side just fine. Even when deliberately sharing a bed with someone, she’s always ended up rolling away and waking up on her side alone. So of course the one time she finds herself in this situation it’s with Callie, of all people. But also, she can’t deny that she’s really comfy and warm, and she smells really nice, and Callie does have arm around her back, so it’s not like it’s entirely her doing. Plus, she can’t deny that laying like that makes her feel all warm and tingly, so like, would it really be so bad if she just stayed here a little longer?

- fake dating - in the same hc universe but a separate hc - Arizona is fed up of her parents trying to set her up on dates. Like, it’s driving her absolutely mad. So she told them she had a girlfriend. Which was all well and good when they’re at their home on the other side of the country. Less so when they randomly show up one day at the training grounds just as Arizona is having a slightly heated conversation with Callie outside the grounds (because when she she not having a heated conversation with Callie). And so, when Arizona’s mum is like ‘is this the girl you were telling us about?’, Arizona panics and says yes, and suddenly Callie finds herself pretending to be Arizona’s girlfriend, and she really truly genuinely hates her but at the same time she’s been sucked into this lie kind of without her own say, and Arizona asked so so so nicely…

- hurt/comfort - same universe as above - Callie gets a serious injury whilst training. And Arizona is the one that’s closest to her at the time, so is the one that accompanies her off the pitch. And when she has to go to the hospital, Arizona can’t just leave her there, looking as distraught and broken as she does. So she goes with her, and stays by her side the entire time, and Callie is so scared and upset that she can’t be anything but completely grateful that Arizona didn’t leave her by herself. She wakes up after surgery to find Arizona asleep on the chair next to her bed, hand wrapped around Callie’s own, and Callie thinks she falls a little bit in love with her in that moment. (I know I could go a lot more ham on the hurt/comfort vibe but I stuck light this time - let me know if you want more angsty stuff bc hurt/comfort is one angsty genre I can do)

- ‘I’ve been in love with you forever’ - for like, her entire time at school, Callie has been a bit in love with Arizona Robbins. At first it was just a crush; she just thought that she was really pretty. But then she got to know her a bit through various classes and assignments and goddamn she was head over heels for this ridiculous bubbly grade A student who also happened to be one of the coolest kids in the class. And also between her and her twin brother, they were the focus of just about every pair of eyes in the entire school. so like, as much as she wanted her, she never had a chance. So she didn’t try. Fast forward university and Callie finds herself coming home when offered a job she can’t refuse, and bam there is Arizona, working at the same damn firm as her direct supervisor, of all things. And god, it’s been years, but those blue eyes and dimples still make Callie feel like she’s a blushing 16 year old all over again.

[my-seperate-kp0p-life]

SMUT --- JHope and Reader

Storyline: You're a trainee at BigHit and were practicing your choreography one night. After a while, Hoseok walked into the studio you were in. This isn’t the first you two had practiced together. You enjoyed the company, especially someone as great as him. Also, it gave you the opportunity to get to know him on a more personal level.

Hoseok walked in on you. “oh hey, how long have you been here?” he asks. “I’ve been practicing a little bit” you say. “Thats cool, can I practice with you?” he says. “Of course, you can always teach me some things!!!” you say, “Yea, I can do that” He says, with a sly grin on his face. He takes off his jacket and turns on his music. Y’all begin practicing and go at it for a few hours. It’s around 2am now and you two agree to head home. He asks if you’d like to walk you home, since it was so late. You say sure and begin walking. But in order to get to your house, you have to pass his neighborhood. So, when you are getting close to his apartment he asks if you’d like come to inside to eat and he’ll take you home afterwards, of course you say yes. You get up to his apartment, take off your jacket and shoes off. He heads straight to the kitchen and you follow. You sit down at the table, while he starts making you two food. Wile the foods cooking, y’all are just talking about random stuff. Once the food arrives, you pull up a youtube video to watch while eating. After eating, you tidy up and say “well, I guess I should get going..”, which J-hope responds, “no, we should stay. It’s really late, you can just sleep here tonight”..  you hesitate at first but he says “Please don’t leave”.. You nod and sit back down.

He takes you up to his guest room and you plop down on the bed. He’s starring at you... “you’re a really intriguing person, you know” he says. “Am I? haha how so?” you say. “just the way you are.. you just make me want to know you.” he says. “know me? hoseok you do know me ahaha” you say. “but I want to know you better, like the little things haha. Hey have you ever played 20 questions!” he says. “you’re silly.. but yes, you wanna play?” you say. “yeah.. we should. It will be fun” he says. “Okay, you first.” you say. “alright, nothing off limits” he says.
 You two go back and forth on simple questions, like favorite food, favorite color, favorite song, etc. 15 minutes pass and J-hope’s questions are getting more personal. “Have you ever had a boyfriend?” “yeah, but its been years.. I was dating someone when I first started at BigHit, but it was barely serious. There were no real feelings involved.” you say. “How about you?” “Yeah, I dated this one girl, but she left me for another guy.. :(” he says. “Aw, thats terrible. I bet she’s regretting that now.. “ you say. “yeah, haha it hurt a lot. But, that was a long time ago, so I’m over it haha… so have you ever been in love?” he says. “No, I don’t think so. I don’t think I’ve gotten close enough to anyone to be in love.. how about you?” you say. “Thats how I feel, like with that girl, I thought I was in love then, but now that I look back, I wasn’t in love, but I hope to experience real love one day” he says. “you will, I know it. Once your journey with BTS is over, then you can find love. It’s waiting for you.” you say. He smiles and nods, and says “Halle, are you a virgin?”. You gasp and laugh, you were not expecting that. “ahah no, I’m 21 hoseok!!” you say. His demeanor is completely different than yours though, you were laughing but j-hope is dead serious. “do you have sex a lot?” he asks, skipping your question to him. “Uhm.. well no.. I’d say like twice a month, at most haha. Why do you ask?” you say. “don’t you hate it… I haven’t had sex in ages. It drives me crazy” he says. “yeah, its really ridiculous that the agency won’t let you—” he cuts you off. “you know, I dream about you a lot.. too much probably” he says. You’re speechless at this point. You know where he’s going with this. “I dream about touching you, kissing you… *look at you* fucking you…” he says. Your eyes widen and you let out a laugh. “What why are you laughing? Y/n!!” he says. “I just never would’ve imagined this.. I’m shocked” you say. His hands are on your legs now. His touch is turning you on. “Can I please you?” He asks, practically in position already. You shake your head yes and he gently takes off you pants and underwear. “damn.. you’re beautiful” he says, his mouth right at your pussy. You feel the breath from his words on you. You giggle and cover your eyes with a pillow, you’re embarrassed but so ready. His tongue touches your insides and you gasp loudly. He’s slow at first.. almost as if he’s warming up. His tongue tracing your pussy, going up and down, in between your lips. After some teasing, he reaches your clit and does his magic. His pace increases with every second, raising you to your climax. Your breathing is getting heavier, barely releasing a “ooo gahhd, hobi”. Its like your words leveled him up, making him go even faster. His hands were wrapped around your thighs, securing your position in front of him. You were so close at this point and it wouldn’t take much more for you to cum. He uses his hands to spread out your lips, fully showing your clit. He flicks his tongue and sucks your clit until you cum. He licks you clean and moves up towards you. His body is in between your legs and his head is on your stomach, just staring at you. “gahh you’re so beautiful” he says. 
 You pull him up towards you and kiss him. The kiss is so sweet and soft, but you flip him over and it turns aggressive. “My turn to please you ;)” you say. You  pull off his shirt and kiss him down. Kissing his neck and biting his ears. Moving lower, you reach his dick. You pull off his pants and underwear and rub his hard dick. “ooh yeah” he says. You suck his dick for a couple minutes, but the hop on him. You both moan when he enters you. His hands are on your waist, feeling every thrust you make. “So stunning” he says looking up at you. His sweet comments made you smile. You leaned in to kiss him and he wrapped his arms around you. With holding you in a secured place, he thrusts himself in you. He’s doing the work now. “ah that feels so good” you say, your head in the crevice of his neck. He flips you over and is on top now. He re-enters in you and goes hard. He’s thrusting so fast and moaning so loud. He’s got your legs in his hand, using you to stabilize him. “y/n, baby where do you want me to cum?” he asks, pulling out. You open your mouth and he does as you wish. After he came, he plopped down beside you and laid there in silence till you both caught your breath. You look up at him and laugh. You were in awe at him, his precious good looks but crazy good sex skills geeked you out. He laughs too and says “i’m glad we did that, thank you” “dont thank me haha, thats weird” you say. He puts his clothes back on and turns on the TV. You both watch TV until you fall asleep together.  

[allissonn]

2008 vs 2016 vs 2019

Do you still talk to the first person you fell the hardest for?

2008 - Everyday :) 2016 – All the time 2019 - It’s all I want to do.

2. Have you ever seen your best friend naked? 2008 - Haha, no. And no thanks either. 2016 – You’d think so but nah 2019 - I consider Russel one of my best friends, the best of the best, so yes. 

3. Are you obsessed with someone? 2008 - Other than Edward Cullen? Nope. HAHAA! 2016 – Ew ^ 2019 - Hella ew to both answers.

5. Do you like more than one person right now? 2008 - Nope. 2016 – Nah, I’ve never been so committed 2019 - Yes, ninety nine percent of the people in my life right now. Surround yourself w good people.

6. Name something that you would love to eat right now? 2008 - A poutine from New York Fries. Lol. 2016 – Pho from THDang. Best I’ve ever had and this cold is killing me right now 2019 - THDANG FOREVER.

7. Did you get any compliments today? 2008 - Mhmm. 2016 – Russel constantly reminds me how much he loves me everyday, if that counts 2019 - Russ called me beautiful otw to work this morning. He also told me he loves me, my favorite compliment of all.

8. Last Person you talked to on msn? 2008 - Laika.. Hol. 2016 – RIP MSN 2019 - Lowkey miss the MSN days.

9. Who was the last two people to call you? 2008 - In person? Or on the phone? 2016 – My mom, to check up on my sick ass and Jeffrey asking what my Tim’s order was 2019 - My cousin Leslie, but I missed it.

10. If you could pick the temperature of the outdoors for the rest of your life would you? 2008 - No doubt. 2016 – Hell yes. Fuck this -35 bull happening right now 2019 - Absolutely, global warming is real and it’s terrifying.

11. If you could have one super power what would it be? 2008 - To be able to read your mind :) 2016 – The power to heal any injured living thing would be nice 2019 - I’m honestly shocked that my answer in 2016 was so mature. I’m sticking w it.

12. Are you happy? 2008 - Not at the moment. 2016 – Happiest I’ve been in a ridiculously long time 2019 - Could be happier.

13. What’s your favorite smell? 2008 - Vanilla :) 2016 – Still vanilla. It’s nice to know some things just don’t change 2019 - Russel’s natural scent mixed w some D&G Light Blue.

14. Are you moody? 2008 - I don’t think so :S 2016 – Yeah, but I’m not going to apologize for it 2019 - Constantly. Right now even.

15. Last person you hung out with? 2008 - Whoever was there afterschool. 2016 – Does Russel count if we live together? If not, his cousins at their annual Christmas party 2019 - Went to Activate w the Espiritu’s last weekend. Otherwise it’s been work and straight home since. Adulting sucks.

16. Have you ever tried to NOT fall for someone? 2008 - Sadly, yes. Whompwhomp. 2016 – Apparently ^ 2019 - Every single person I’ve fallen for tbh.

17. Have you ever toilet papered someone’s house? 2008 - I wish, ahaha 2016 – Still on my bucket list unfortunately 2019 - Haven’t done it, but no longer on my bucket list. Think green, you know?

18. Have you ever liked someone but never told them? 2008 - Hello Jr. High. Haa.. 2016 – Story time, I actually had a thing for Russ in high school but didn’t tell him until we were officially together five years later. Lol 2019 - I just realized I was already dating Russ in 2016 and holy shit that year felt like a lifetime ago.

19. Have you ever gone camping? 2008 - Yes. And I absolutely hate it. 2016 – Yes, and I still hate it 2019 - Yes. I’m also willing to give it another try. The growth is real.

20. Are you a liar? 2008 - According to Roxanne I suck. Lol. 2016 – I’d be lying if I said no, so no 2019 - Yes, but terrible at it.

21. Have you ever gone to a nude beach? 2008 - No. 2016 – Nah, that’s not a priority of any sort 2019 - Still a solid no.

29. Have you ever had a stalker? 2008 - In a way, yeah :/ 2016 – Story time part two: Yes, and the only way to get him to stop talking to me was to constantly remind him that my boyfriend was in jail. Which wasn’t a lie, not entirely at least 2019 - Wow, completely forgot I had a stalker at one point too. 

22. Have you ever gone skinny dipping? 2008 - No. 2016 – Still a no 2019 - This is definitely still on my bucket list.

23. Listening to music? What are you listening to? 2008 - Yes. Read the title of this note. 2016 – Starboy by The Weeknd 2019 - My 4.LT playlist on spotify for my emotional ass. Don’t Wanna Be Your Girl by WET.

24. Have you ever been betrayed by your best friend(s)? 2008 - Mhmm. 2016 - LOL 2019 - The number of times this has come up today alone compared to the last year is insane.

25. Have you ever lied to your parents? 2008 - Yes :/ 2016 - Unfortunately 2019 - Wish I never did,

26. Have you ever worn your best friend’s clothes? 2008 - Yeap. 2016 – If we’re talking about Russ, I’m wearing his shirt right now 2019 - Still wearing his shirt tbh.

27. Have you ever thrown up from working out? 2008 - Nope. 2016 – Thankfully not, although that makes me think I’m not working hard enough 2019 - Again, probably not pushing myself hard enough.

28. Have you had a bad haircut? 2008 - Tons -_-“ 2016 - Girl 2019 - Girlllllllllll.

29. Where are your siblings right now? 2008 - One is upstairs? The other is who knows where. 2016 – I honestly don’t know. I haven’t seen either of them in weeks. Horrible 2019 - Living their own/best lives.

30. Last place you cried? 2008 - In the car. Ha. 2016 – In my room, probably over some tv show for sure 2019 - Literally in this exact spot, minutes before I decided to do this to change the mood. Sheesh.

31. Name three things you did today? 2008 - That stupid english essay, ran around in the rain, and survived the day. Booya. 2016 – I tell you three things I didn’t do today: Sleep, go to work and get some fresh air 2019 - Work. Eat. Sleep.

32. Last person you text messaged? 2008 - Jodianne. 2016 – Jodianne again. Crazy 2019 -  My groupchat w Pacifico and Michelle

33. Future kids names? 2008 - Lol. Yeah, I’m gonna name my kid Lol. NAT. 2016 – I’m really feeling “Riley” because it’s unisex 2019 - Still into unisex names. Possibly something in connection w my grandparents’ names.

34. What are you doing tomorrow? 2008 - My eng exam :/ 2016 – Waking up at 530 just to pick up my work equipment even though my two week vacation already started. Shitty 2019 - Working. Eating. Sleeping. Repeating. Adulting.

35. Do you remember singing any songs as a kid? 2008 - Of course! 2016 – Anything Britney Spears was my shit 2019 - I miss the days when Allan and I would blast the radio in the living room at the Banning house. Running around and jumping on/over furniture. Singing at the top of our lungs. 

36. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? 2008 - Nope, sorray. 2016 – Over and over again 2019 - Until the end of time.

37. Are you allergic to anything? 2008 - None what so ever. 2016 – Hair dye 2019 - Hair dye and AHA’s.

38. What is your mood? 2008 - I feel so giddy, yet tired. 2016 – I feel like crap rn 2019 - Shitty as fuck.

39. Is anyone jealous of you? 2008 - How should I know? 2016 - ^ 2019 - If they are, they shouldn’t be.

40. When is the last time you got into a fight? 2008 - Yesterday. Not physically tho. 2016 – Got into a dumbass fight over being “the captain” with Russ a few hours ago. Lasted not even ten minutes 2019 - A few months ago Russ and I gave each other the silent treatment for almost three entire days. It was extremely difficult considering how entwined our lives are.

41. Where were you 2 hours ago? 2008 - Finishing my essay. Yay. 2016 – Exactly where I am rn 2019 - I haven’t moved in three hours.

42. Where were you 6 hours ago? 2008 - In eng class talking to Arlyn :) 2016 – Is it sad that I haven’t really moved all day 2019 - At work earning this comfy lifestyle. 

43. What does your hair look like right now? 2008 - It’s in a ponytail. 2016 – It’s in a messy bun 2019 - If I’m home, my hair is in a bun.

44.Has anyone ever told you that they like you more than as a friend? 2008 - Yeah. 2016 – I remember exactly what Russel said when he admitted he was into me haha 2019 - I remember every single time someone has told me.

45. What have you eaten today? 2008 - Food. 2016 – Pancit, eggs, pizza bites, sinigang, and yet I’m so hungry right now 2019 - For breakfast I had a shitty Beyond Meat breakfast sandwhich and a coffee from Tim’s. I had a bagel w honey ham, mixed greens and sriracha mayo sandwich for lunch. For dinner, I picked up Tocilog and Sisilog from Mar’s Sisig for Russ and I.

46. Is your hair naturally curly, straight, or nappy? 2008 - Wavy? Wth is nappy? 2016 – Dang I was so uncultured ^ It’s naturally wavy 2019 - Wavy. Also, something worth mentioning, I haven’t blow dried OR straightened my hair all summer. Again, the growth is real.

47. Who was the last friend you were in the car with? 2008 - Laika.. Hol. :D Hehee. 2016 – Pacifico most likely 2019 - Ashana drove me to Selkirk the other weekend, but she’s more family than friend tbh.

48. What are you looking forward to? 2008 - Tomorrow, I guess :( 2016 – it’s the most wonderful time of the year! 2019 - I need something to look forward to. How depressing.

49. What do you think about marriage? 2008 - Too young to even think about it. 2016 – I ain’t stressing it 2019 - Should it happen, it happens. But honestly, starting a family is more of a priority to me right now.

50. Any of your friends getting married? 2008 - Not that I know of. 2016 – I’m at that age where everyone I know is either engaged, married and/or having children 2019 - This^. Stil.

[rewardsforgooddeeds]

Hank Pym and Eric O’Grady’s “Relationship”

{{This is for that one anon! As it wasn’t a specific Hank roleplayer who sent it in, this is my take on my Eric with a more canon Hank, how I would personally see their relationship. When I started to ship this, I never really thought that anyone else would bother to join me, so thanks for indulging me anon! 

Without further ado, click the read more for my take on this meme for...ah...Pymgrady as I’ve been calling it! 

Some of the topics discussed are NSFW and may discuss physical and emotional abuse. Read with your own discretion.}}

{{I have some strong ideas about what kind of relationship they’d have and it’s not a very happy one. It’s most based on sex and arguments, so keep that in mind when reading this. I will cross out any question that don’t apply to them.}}

Disagreements:

The main part of their relationship.

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

I’m thinking both of them would probably raise their voices. Their arguments would be loud and would feature them yelling louder and louder just to be able to talk over the other. 

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?

Eric. Always one foot out the door with most relationships but is never the one to end it unless he actively has to run away. Although I think Hank would be similar

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?

Neither of them and they probably should.

Who trashes the house?

Depends if Hank is manic or not. If he is, he’d throw things at Eric.

Do either of them get physical?

Both of them do, very often.

How often do they argue/disagree?

They’re always arguing or disagreeing with one another. It’s rare that they’re in agreement over something anyway. 

Who is the first to apologize?

They’re both super stubborn but Eric is usually wrong, so he’d give a round about apology and offer sex.

Sex:

The other main part of their relationship.

Who is on top?

Hank usually.

Who is on the bottom?

Eric usually. 

Who has the strangest desires?

They both do!

Any kinks?

Eric’s got a praise kink, just call him a good boy and he’s gonna be needy for you. Hank likes to feel powerful because of his inferiority thing so this arrangement works for him, to have Eric needy and desperate for him.

Who’s dominant in bed?

Hank. They use each other to fulfill their needs when it comes to sex, and Hank wants to be in control.

Is head ever in the equation?

Yes. Sometimes, Hank just needs to push Eric down and make him take it. And sometimes, Eric just really needs Hank to shut up about that science stuff that makes him so smug.

If so, who is better at performing it?

Eric. I don’t know why I’m saying Eric but my mind immediately just declared Eric is better at it. How would a jerk like him get laid if he wasn’t good at it? :P

Ever had sex in public?

Does Hank’s lab count? If so, yeah.

Who moans the most?

...Eric. He’s also whiny.

Who leaves the most marks?

Hank.

Who screams the loudest?

Eric!

Who is the more experienced of the two?

Hank’s got age, so he’s got the experience. Especially with having long term partners. Eric’s probably had more partners but most of them have been a one time deal.

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

Fuck. Love’s got nothing to do about it.

Rough or soft?

Rough. And usually fast.

How long do they usually last?

Not super long, it’s more about the heat of the moment verses going at it for a long time.

Is protection used?

If they remember.

Does it ever get boring?

No.

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

On top of some rather important papers in Hank’s lab.

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children?

Hahaha, holy shit, no way. Eric wouldn’t be a good father and Hank’s got a bad track record with kids (considering Ultron). And the last thing they’d want to do would be co-parents.

If so, how many children do your muses want/have? Who is the favorite parent? Who is the authoritative parent? Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? Who goes to parent teacher interviews? Who changes the diapers? Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? Who spends the most time with the children? Who packs their lunch boxes? Who gives their children ‘the talk’? Who cleans up after the kids? Who worries the most? Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from?

Affection:

Eric is secretly needy with this stuff.

Who likes to cuddle?

Sometimes, Eric just needs some affection.

Who is the little spoon?

If they fall asleep together, Eric.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

Hank.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?  

Hank.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

Maybe ten minutes lmao.

Who gives the most kisses?

If kisses happen, it’s probably from Eric.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?

Beating each other up lmao.

Where is their favourite place to cuddle?

Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? 

Eric. He’d definitely grab Hank’s ass in passing.

How often do they get time to themselves?

Not often. They might see each other once every few months.

Sleeping:

They don’t often share a bed. 

Who snores?

Neither of them.

If both do, who snores the loudest?

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?

Separately. 

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? Who talks in their sleep?

What do they wear to bed?

Nothing lmao.

Are either of your muses them insomniacs?

Hank, especially on a bad day.

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

Yeah but I don’t think Hank would usually take them.

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

Side by side, sometimes cuddled up.

Who wakes up with bed hair?

Eric!

Who wakes up first?

Eric, usually to sneak out.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? What is their favourite sleeping position?

The “okay, I’m sick of you, let’s put some distance between us” position.

Who hogs the sheets? Do they set an alarm each night? Can a television be found in their bedroom? Who has nightmares?

Both of them.

Who has ridiculous dreams?

Eric!

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? 

Eric.

Who makes the bed? What time is bed time? Any routines/rituals before bed? Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

Hank, especially since Eric is still there, why hasn’t he left yet?

Work:

Who is the busiest?

Hank, since he has an actual job of doing science stuff where Eric just takes various contracts like any mercenary.

Who rakes in the highest income?

Depends, if Eric has a really good job lined up he might make more, but Hank has a consistent income.

Are any of your muses unemployed?

Eric, technically.

Who takes the most sick days?

Hank will take mental health days.

Who is more likely to turn up late to work?

Eric was canoncally late to his SHIELD job like all the time lmao, so him.

Who sucks up to their boss?

Hank used to but he’s done with that shit now.

What are their jobs?

Hank’s a scientist/part-time Avenger. Eric is a former Secret Avenger but now he’s a mercenary villain with a part time job as an accidental super hero.

Who stresses the most?

Hank, Eric is a no stress sorta guy.

Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

Hank loves science but Eric kinda hates being a bad guy. 

Are your muses financially stable?

Hank, yes. Eric, no. He’s got periods where he has tons of money and then he blows that money and is broke.

Home:

They really shouldn’t live together, that’s a disaster waiting to happen. I could see Eric forcing his way into Hank’s house because he has nowhere else to stay but it’d be a very temporary arrangement and more of a roommates-who-have-sex arrangement over a domestic one.

Who does the washing? Who takes out the trash? Who does the ironing? Who does the cooking? Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? Who is messier? Who leaves the toilet roll empty? Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? Who forgets to flush the toilet? Who is the prankster around the house? Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? Who mows the lawn? Who answers the telephone? Who does the vacuuming? Who does the groceries? Who takes the longest to shower? Who spends the most time in the bathroom?

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem?

For Eric, yeah. He’s bad with money and blows it on stupid shit. 

How many cars do they own?

Eric doesn’t own a car. I think Hank would own one, maybe two sometimes.

Do they own their home or do they rent?

Hank owns some places. Eric rents shoe box places and tries to spend next to no time in them.

Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside?

Eric grew up spending time between Boston and Vermont, and now he goes wherever he can be safe. Hank is all over the place, but they both generally stay on the coast.

Do they live in the city or in the country? 

City.

Do they enjoy their surroundings?

Eric misses Vermont and Boston and being normal. Hank can find something to like wherever he is.

What’s their song?

It’s hard to pick just one ahaha. But I did title the tag/some fics with a line from “Dance Yrself Clean” by LCD Soundsystem, “Make me into bigger pieces”. There’s also the line “Talking like a jerk except you are an actual jerk, and living proof that sometimes friends are mean” which I think is good for them too.

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Nothing different.

Where did they first meet?

On a SHIELD Helicarrier. 

How did they first meet?

See the first picture. Eric and his friend Chris were told to guard this door. Not told whether to guard it from someone going in or someone going out, Hank opens the door and Eric knocks him out. And then they steal the Ant-Suit, and the rest is history

Who spends the most money when out shopping? Who’s more likely to flash their assets?

I’m not sure what this means by assets but Eric would definitely be pleased to use sex to his advantage.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

Eric.

Any mental issues?

Oh yeah. Obviously, there’s Hank’s canon battle with his mental illness and his struggle on getting help. A lot of my feelings on this pairing have to do with Hank having a hard time with it and taking it out on Eric, something that he’s done before in relationships. 

Eric, meanwhile, canoncally doesn’t have any mental illnesses. However, I see him getting PTSD from dying and having depression over it. There has been hints of him self harming via getting tattoos because of the pain and I could see him self harming in other ways, like with alcohol.

I can also see Eric with a mental disability like ADHD but that’s just me projecting :P

Who’s terrified of bugs?

Neither of them, they’re Ant-Man(s)

Who kills the spiders around the house?

Their favourite place?

Who pays the bills?

Do they have any fears for their future?

Eric is terrified about essentially living for an indefinite period of time at the age he is at now. As long as someone reboots his mind into another model, he’s going to live forever. The curse of being an LMD.

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? Who uses up all of the hot water?

Who’s the tallest?

Hank! But Eric’s not above using the particles to give himself a few extra inches.

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

Eric.

Who wanders around in their underwear?

Eric.

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

Eric.

What do they tease each other about?

They’re not really teasing each other, they’re usually just mean lmao.

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

Eric wears awful shirts, Hank cringes. And Eric thinks Hank dresses like a nerd.

Do they have mutual friends?

Not really. Honestly, they both find it hard to keep friends.

Who crushed first? 

Eric. He still has it a lot worse for Hank than Hank has for him.

Any alcohol or substance related problems?

Eric is kinda bad with alcohol. Hank has a pretty addictive personality too.

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

Eric.

Who swears the most?

They both kinda swear a lot.