#it was a special journey for me. you really cant say i didnt try literally everything to understand and have faith

[transsexula]

Some Christian popped up on my dashboard this Easter, and I'm still unsure how. Their post detailed the story of Jesus and the "historical facts" of the situation. While I'm not a theology major or anything. I do have enough well-researched information to disprove multiple of their claims (such as the Bible being written within 25 years of the events they describe)

But. As soon as they are confronted with facts that do not align with their beliefs, it's like they stick their fingers in their ears and start sob-screaming "LALALALALALALALA" so they can't register anymore. It's kinda horrifying how quickly they shut down, and their minds flip into a feedback loop.

No matter what you say. What tone you use. The wording used- it doesn't matter. As soon as they realize they can't refute what you're saying, and that what you're saying shakes any core pillar of their belief system- it becomes not a "hey, maybe I should do some more research to back up my claims and/or find the actual truth" but instead a "you won't even CONSIDER my position why is it so scary huh??? You scared Jesus is real and I'm right???? What's so scary about the lord Jesus christ????"

My guy. Nothing. Absolutely nothing is shaking, shocking, or new that you are saying. I'm actively telling you that you need to try harder, because your "proof" takes logical leaps so fucking wide, I'm convinced you've fallen INTO that gap.

Idk, interactions like this remind me of how thankful I am to not be wrapped up in this circular logic bullshit. I'm so glad I had the brain power as a child to see how much horse shit adults were hawking at me.

I mean. My whole journey out of Christianity started because of how these people are. I looked around at family, at friends, at respected leaders, and asked why every reason they pointed to sucked so damn hard. You ask a simple question- "what proof do we have on our side? What can I use in this spiritual war against the enemies to show them they are wrong and the church is right?"

Suddenly, you get told to shut up. Some of the bolder ones tried to convince me- there's science behind it. Here's a creationist website. There's history behind it. Here's the bible- The same book we are trying to prove is the written word of God. Here's apologetics. They all point to the Bible and blind faith. Stories aren't grounded in reality. The creation scientists lie. The supposed Christian historians destroy context for artifacts so they can buy and trade religiously important museum-worthy archeology finds. Christian parents want to ban books. My church doesn't want me reading anything other than the approved list. Why do you have so many questions kid? Just stop asking. It's making everyone uncomfortable. Just have faith. Just stop asking, you don't need to know, leave it in God's hands, have faith. Stop asking questions. Why would you question that? God said it, it's true. That's how this works- hey! Wait! Why don't you want to listen to this Sundays sermon? It has the truth you seek. It doesn't matter that the pastor is raving about his own politics again. Maybe you should just try a different church- hey, why do you have questions again? Maybe this isn't the denomination for you. Everyone knows baptists are a little crazy. Try seventh day adventist teachings. Not for you? Did you grow up catholic? I'm sure you just didn't find the right truth. I guess you aren't trying hard enough. Wow I can't believe you're such a non-believer. I can't believe you've lost faith. Why so many fucking questions? Again. Just look at the Bible. No stupid. Not THAT bible. The other version is the correct version. Hey why do you keep asking questions-

[thekissesonkeisha]

HAPPY MARCH🥳

`☆ ⋆ ｡ It's the beginning of a new month! ｡ ꕤ~ .

Quick confession. I didn't start the year the way I promised myself I would as a master manifester, a shifter and an art studentin college😭 plus today's the last day of my 2nd project and I will just say.. I didn't prioritise my time as well as I should have. So I'm not gonna let myself cry over wasted time along side incomplete work and lock in🤞🏽

But anyway I want to share my plan for this month. I am going to keep on top of:

☆ Journaling, Scripting and Vaulting

In my introduction, I said I would introduce myself as I would in my better current reality and really embody my drself. I'll be honest, the closest I have been to embodying my drself was daydreaming being my drself🧍🏿‍♀️ So I want to change that once and for all. I am sick of wishing I was her instead of realising I literally am her ffs.

So, I think vaulting as I am my drself and tracking my manifestation journey is an awesome way for successful embodiment. Because essentially when I am vaulting about my (dr)self, I am just affirming to myself about who I am by saying "I am this" or "I love having that" or maybe "my blah blah blah is so cute" and "I am so grateful that xyz".

☆ Practicing entering the void

Okay so I already understand that the void is nothing special (to me at least). The only reason why people think its special is because of the fact that you instantly recieve your desires once youve affirmed them when in the void (please for the love of god dont think you cant manifest instantly outside of the void. It is just a tool). It is literally just a deep meditative state. You are literally just meditating. It's the stillness state. The state of just being. Your I am-ness. So now that I have taken the void off the pedestal, I feel like I can enter the void anytime I try now and I will this march.

☆ Persistance/Loyalty to the new story

Something I've struggled with is persistance to my manifestations simply because of what I see in the 3D. Even when i've persistantly affirmed to myself for something not to happen or to get something, sometimes the opposit happens and I'll get what i didnt want.. but im content with it because it actually turned out alright, and I'll just settle for that. But whats really interesting is that Ive learned to always stay neutral to it anyway. I understand that nothing in the 3D has any meaning whatsoever. The the 3D is neutral and circumstances literally don't matter. Only I have power of the 3D and nothing in the 3D can have power unless I let it. And this applies to who i choose to identify as. Do i identify as someone who doesnt quite have everything she wants or do i identify as someone with everything i could ever want. So usually if I see something i don't like I'll just shake it off. Which brings me to

☆ Revision

Ive been in the loa community for 5 years and I learnt about revision 2 years ago through a revise your past subliminal. I didn't even know you could actually rewrite your past so this kind of opened me to really understanding the law of assumption applies to everything.

Since then I've been using revision subliminals here and there to revise certain scenarios and whatever, but I haven't really been using revision to its true potential. As I have learnt I can change the past, I will be vaulting/scripting my desired past through different eras of my life that I've already lived. So stuff like what highschool I went to and how I did in it, erasing unfavourable moments and replacing them with something better suited to me to align myself with my actual (dr)self

☆ Using general blanket affirmations and making specific affirmations that resonate with me to rewire my mindset and self concept

I already do this but 1. I don't do it as much as I'd like to and 2. I am altering the way I think about myself and everything in general. So I guess the way I used to affirm kind of felt robotic, forced and fake. So I figured I will use the generalised blanket affirmations I actually like to use and not the ones I'm told to use that I don't connect with, as well as make my own affirmations personalised to what I identify as and embody. This brings me to my next topic.

☆ Subliminals

Okay so I saw this post from another loa blogger talking about subliminals and they said that changing the reason why you use subliminals can really improve your manifestation journey. So instead of using subliminals to get something, use them to remind yourself you already have it. Use them to help you persist in in the fact that you are the version of yourself who HAS 1 million pounds or that you HAVE your dream life. Use them to REMIND yourself, you are already the version of you who has it. This goes for ANY and ALL subliminals by the way. Use your desired subliminals to repeat back what you identify as guys!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────

MARCH IS MINE YOU GUYS DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND

Anyways Ciao!!😘

Im so shy to tag but wtv!: @urimaginarygirlfriend @realistically-shifting @4ellieluv @faeriemarie

[sickassastrology]

Yall mad at me? Updates, updates, and more....updates!

You guyssss! How I have missed talking to everybody. I know its been a really long time coming, but i SWEAR theres very good reason for it. My father passed away late last year from cancer. So I had to take a break, my energy was low at the time, and I needed to cope with the loss. Shout out to all of yall who have lost a loved one in anyway. My heart is with you, stay strong and turn your pain into an unmatchable power! For my fems that have been just dyingggg to know what happened to my masculine!?.....DRUM. ROLL. PLEASSEEEE. I am not on that journey anymore. In Jaunuary, he made a complete ass out of himself and made me feel super low and terrible. I gave him a full chance to get things right with me and he did not take it. And as I always say, the empress will never stay where she isnt wanted. Although he craves my energy and wants me around, he doesnt actually want to be with me. He is still chasing around 3rd parties and does low vibrational activities. Which to me is funny because I literally warned him that if he didnt stop, it would devastation to the nation, hunny! But hey, what can I do? If he wants me that badly, he knows where to find me...and thats in the astro plane. oh well. MOVING ON. I have a beautiful and brilliant soulmate in my life now. Words cant explain with him. There is a divine reason why we both have been placed in eachothers paths, and for good reason. I have learned to love him in the short time we have been together. He calls himself a king lol. (im still the empress though). he is a capricorn with an aries moon. That pretty much wraps it up for me. Im sure the other half of yall is wrong where the F*CK tyler has been. When I say this girl is on the run like the roadrunner himself, her life is so busy nowadays. She works for a luxury company (wont give that info out) and is trying to tie her taurus boyfriend down for that ring. (i think shes getting close)! So, where is the blog going form here? Well, Im going to be shifting a lot of our astrology and witchy things over to different platforms. I am also going to shift the blog slightly where we will now talk more about selfcare. Its the most important. I plan to do a twin flame tuesday (for yall) and a soulmate sunday for the special person in anybody life. Look out for all of these things very soon yall. Again, sorry we have been gone, but we are human too. Thanks for those who are still rockin with us. With all love. 

-erin.

PS. I am open for love readings on my sickassastrology@gmail.com you can ask up to 10 questions on the same topic or just ask for a general reading!! If you would like me to pull just ONE card on your situation just ask in the inbox, leave your name and I will get back to ya! 

[chikkou]

i cant really describe the monsters… i think they were called the filth or the corruption or something. some of them had tentacles but some didnt, they didnt really have faces, and all of them oozed this pitch black fluid that made you sick if you stayed in contact with it for too long. we all had to wear long pants and tall boots to avoid any skin contact with the stuff, which was literally everywhere.

anyway so we began trekking through the city. we lived close to one side, but the way out of the town where we lived was basically completely overtaken by the filth. we had to go the other way, across the whole city, to the other exit (which we werent even sure was still open).

as we were making our way through we saw some really horrible stuff. there were people lying dead in the street, half-turned by the monsters, and there were people we knew that had become part of the filth and that tried to kill us. none of us had weapons or knew how to fight, so it was all we could do to run for our lives and pray we’d get away.

at one point while we were being chased, we reached the abandoned city hall in the center of the town, and stopped to get some rest. the building was completely fortified and boarded up, so we figured that if anywhere would be safe, itd be there. it had been a LONG time though - the boards were rotting and coming apart. we yanked off whichever ones we safely could and went inside quietly, shutting the door behind us, and quickly discovered how wrong we were.

the building was absolutely destroyed. the floors were flooded with the black ooze, the filth monsters were everywhere, and, to our horror, we discovered that there were normal humans in there, working with the monsters and protecting them. we couldnt go back out because the turned person from before was still out there. we were stuck.

since we didnt know what to do, we hid in a room that was mostly clear of the ooze and shut & locked the door behind us. desperately, i texted one of our friends for help, and was shocked to find that the phones still worked. the friend was an expert on the paranormal and on paranormal beasts in particular, so he was the only person i could think of to help.

thankfully, he answered back quickly and told me that, in a pinch, we could use this special phrase to keep the monsters back. i cant remember it now, because it was in the language of the corruption, but it basically translated to “get back, demon”. he said that he figured it out when he himself got cornered, but went on to say that it ONLY worked on the real monsters. corrupted humans wouldnt understand the phrase.

armed with the new knowledge, my friends and i began to quietly traverse the abandoned building, avoiding what monsters and people that we could, before we reached the exit on the other side of the building. there was a long corridor leading up to it, and here was a REAL flooding on the floor - while the ooze went up to maybe toe level before, here it was knee deep. on top of that, the hallway was also full of the filth monsters, and the ceiling was completely dissolved away, possibly by the ooze. black fluid dripped down from the rafters that remained.

we started wading through the sludge, walking slowly. it was surprisingly thick, so it was difficult to move much faster. it was also warm, which i had not expected and was extremely disgusted by. monsters started to come up to us, not attacking, but sort of watching us, like they were sizing us up. regardless though, we used the phrase in their language and they seemed startled, almost scared, before theyd run away. thanks to the usage of the phrase, we made it through to the other side with little event, and pushed through the exit to the outside.

when we were outside, my friend started searching through some nearby rubble for a weapon, but was surprised to find a strange instrument instead. it was light purple, and sort of looked like a recorder, but was way more detailed and intricate and had no keys to speak of. i texted my friend describing the thing, and almost immediately he responded, explaining that the instrument was a very important artifact that had some relevance to the filth monsters. he said that at one point, he himself had one of the artifacts, but it was lost when he was trying to escape the city. he said that there were three in total, and when used at the same time, it would cause something massive to happen - but he didnt know what.

i think the dream ended about there. i remember that at one point, maybe toward the end of the dream, my friends and i had a battle in a mall with a MASSIVE corruption monster, and we had found all three artifacts, but i dont remember how it ended up like that. this was a v spooky dream…. it was gross LMAO

[itdisneymatter]

Day 09 - Seaworld & Universal

TLDR: Seaworld this morning. Lunch pretty much inside a Shark aquarium. Amazing experience! Hit a few Roller Coasters including Manta which we've done before and Kraken which we haven't. Met some penguins and seen Killer Whales and Dolphins do all sorts of clever stuff. Finished up in Seaworld. Started Universal Studios. Done some Simpsons stuff, Robert won a ball, I won MIB (again) and we rounded things off with Escape from Gringott’s and buying wands in Diagon Alley. Absolutely packed day but it was excellent!

It seems like as time goes on, it's a little more difficult to wake up each day, especially sleepy-head Grace who proclaimed she was awake during the night and only got ONE minute of sleep! :P What I will say is even with the 17hr days, the weather and the rest does make a difference and makes you feel a whole lot better in general - I've been suffering from intermittent headaches of late, but haven't really had any since I left.

We're just on our own today for Seaworld so no pickups required (which means no coffee unfortunately :( ) , and as Seaworld is not far down the road, we were in the park within about 30 minutes of leaving the room. We picked up a big litre cup with unlimited refills for around 20 bucks when we got in the park. Not only does it do free refills but it does free Icee refills (which is kinda like Iceblasts) so for this alone I would pay double. The cup had lots of facts and figures on it too like Mako, the longest and fastest roller coaster in Orlando, to reach speeds of 73mph and heights or around 200ft... :| Yeah I'll maybe pass on that one thanks.

We were a littler later to the park that intended so we headed for the Sharks Encounter, the restaurant we had booked for lunch. This place had a huge aquarium on the far wall filled with loads of sharks! And Ann got us a table right at the side of the tank - awesome! We got carried away watching the sharks and other fish and taking loads of photos that we forgot at times we were in there to have lunch. And what do the serve at a restaurant which has sharks literally swimming around it? Seafood! When we finally did order, I went for the Lobster Bisque which was a pretty damn good soup (and the best thing I had in there), and some tempura prawns with sticky rice. Ann went for the mussels and then Seafood pasta. Food was pretty good in general - though the kids didn’t seem to have an appetite (well except Patrick I don’t think there is any time he doesn’t have an appetite). The kids still loved it though, due to the amazing views.

Coasters, Cuties & More Coasters

So we had Manta next, which after a huge (HUGE!) lunch, was probably not the best thing to be doing. Patrick & wee GG weren’t in for it so Ann had to take Roller Coaster Robert first, while I waited with the kids then did Child Swap when they returned. It meant Robert go to go twice which he loved (though Patrick was getting bored and may have regretted his decision NOT to ride Manta). I've been on this one before and its brilliant but just as were due to board we were hit with technical difficulties and they had to stop the ride, which when you have a full stomach of seafood, doesn’t fill you with the greatest of confidence. Last row when we finally did board which Robert said was the fastest, and it certainly did go fast, but it was still awesome!

In stark contrast we then visited the wee baby Penguin Puck over at Empire of the Penguin. Easy going ride even if we chose the wild side, and is one of Gracie's favourite rides - she even brought her own wee Penguin cutie (our name for TY Beanies) along for the ride. Nice ride but the highlight is when you finish and you get to meet real life penguins in their own environmental conditions (which is freakin' freezing!).

Now here’s another comparison photo from today...

And fours years ago (on the exact same day as it happens)...

Ain’t she just the cutest??? :D Anyway, The Kraken next, the one I was waiting for - a 3D VR experience on a huge roller coaster (or under the sea in the VR world). Me and Ro on this one and Ann was feeling too well and the other weren’t interested. Essentially all you see and hear is what's on the VR headset you are wearing while at the same time riding an actual coaster through big drops, banks, turns and loops (running at a top speed of 65mph according to my cup). We have a less than used PS VR at home and I love it, so this was going to be fantastic! Or at least I thought. Unfortunately my visuals reset their orientation so I was going one way but being shown another, very disorientating and not a very pleasant experience at all. A little disappointed but Robert had a good time on the ride which is all that matters really.

Its Showtime!

After that we had to run to the other end of the park to reach the Orca show - this one being Ann's pick of the day. A number of Killer Whales doing all sorts of things and really good to see a big push on education about care and conservation of these mammals within the Seaworld programme. Gracie loved this and she was shouting and screaming whenever the Orca and I think she couldn’t have stayed in the same spot for the next few shows.

And once that was done we then crossed to the other end of the park (AGAIN) to catch the the last Dolphin show of the day. Show times really screw with your park flow at times! Slightly different from before as there wasn’t really any birds or high wire stuff to speak of - they just really concentrated on the Dolphins and there were quite a few of them. This time, the family wanted to sit in the Splash zone, which they did, though I opted for a higher vantage, not to avoid the water, well just to avoid the water getting on to my camera. It turned out they didn’t really get soaked which Gracie wasn’t too happy about and she wanted to do it again so she could get bigger splashes!

Homer & Harry

It was late afternoon at that point and we did all of the things we wanted to do, so decided to call it a day. We missed a few animal encounters and one or two of the later shows but as we have free parking ticket we could pop down for a quick visit one evening if we wanted to. We though at that point it would be a good idea to head to Universal Studios (to catch up on a few of the rides we missed the other day), for the last few hours instead of turning in early. It was exceptionally hot today though (over 100 degrees) and no rain for the first time in a while, so we popped back to the hotel room, which was on the way, for a quick shower and change. It was just after 6pm so no parking fee - result, we might just need to do this more often! We got into the park relatively quickly, though there were still loads of folk going in, and went the opposite direction to the way we normally go to hit The Simpsons first. We stopped by Doc Browns train for a quick pic before getting to our destination.

When we go to The Simpsons ride it started raining!!! That's like the third time in a row (including the last visit two eyars ago), when it started raining when we get to this point in the park - its bizarre! The Simpsons sheltered us from most of it which was good as we were only packing my camera and left the rainjackets at the hotel room to save carrying an extra bag. The Simpsons though even though it replaced my most favouritest ever ride - Back To The Future - you cant fault it, hysterical family fun.

With the rain not really coming to anything, though we still had to occasional claps of thunder, we stopped to grab the boys a bite to eat in the form of a Krusty Burger, while I took Grace on Kang & Kudos, a wee fairground type ride going round and round and up and down in spaceships. We were travelling in a spaceship called Citizen Kang (they all had punny names), and Grace was the primary pilot on this one. I also took a nice wee video and a few photos on my phone but got reprimanded while I was on the ride so had to switch it off :(

Before we left The Simpsons land, Robert wanted to have a shot on the Basketball stall. He LOVES basketball and is pretty good at it, even having inherited both his parents shortish genes. Shooting 1-3 hoops got you a specific prize, and he wanted a new Basketball, which was two hoops. BAM! First one went in right off the rim. That's a winner right there! Next one he missed. It was all down to the final ball to get him his preferred prize. We told him to take it calm and line up the shot (like my advice on Basketball is any good, but I need to try). It went up.... and IN! Woot! Well done Roro, he got the ball he wanted and was all happy with himself and so he should be!

Next one was one of my faves, Men In Black! A shooting game were you score points by shooting aliens and win enternal glory among your family. After Toy Story the other day I had this one in the bag though Ann seemed to think she was going to give me a challenge. Well let the scoreboard do the talking shall we? :P

GG: 209,875 (ka-POW! :P)

PG: 20,750

Roro: 19,725

Ann: 11,525

Wee GG: 7425

Our final area was Diagon Alley and we didn’t have a lot of time left before the park closed so managed to get on to Escape from Gringotts which had a low wait time due to the time it was. We were waiting to go in and at that moment the Dragon on top of Gringotts sent out a fireball and Gracie literally jumped out her skin. It was really funny but she didnt think so (Im pretty sure shell laugh at it later ; ) This ride is great and the journey to getting on the ride is equally as great, through the bank, passing goblins and moving painting along the way, getting to see Bill Weasley give a wee intro and then down a huge elevator before putting on the required 3D glasses and boarding the minecart. Special effects match that of Forbidden Journey with a few extra characters inc luding Bellatrix and Voldemort thrown in. A definite ride we will be returning to when we visit the park again in the next few days.

Expelliarmus!

We had been planning to pick up some Harry Potter wands and we had a few minutes before heading home to pop into Ollivander’s which was pretty quiet (its usually not). The kids picked interactive wands this time, and allow they didn’t get an opportunity to use them this evening, well bring them back and do a full afternoon of Harry Potter goodness. We have a few wands already so Gracie opted for Ginny's, Robert her brother Ron & Patrick picked Snape's (without missing a beat). They all got they own wee wands bags and they skipped out of the shop and down Diagon Alley to head for home.

In preparation for a late night blog update (its been a long day), I picked up a Starbucks Toasted Coconut Cold Brew (which tasted real good), as the others popped into Transformars for the last five minutes in the park (I think they were the last ones on for the day).

Still not satisfied with getting to the exit without doing anything else we popped in a wee cult classics shoppy to look at the comics and memorabilia. I opted for Harley Rebirth Vol.1 and Patrick, The Killing Joke Noir  - a really really nice book and Patrick go into a Joker lore conversation with the attendant who was even geekier than me. Exhausted we finally reached the exit and through Citywalk and as we passed the Cinema, Robert asked if we could go see the new Despicable Me movie as we missed it the other night. 10:30 at night and he wants to go to the pictures! LOL!

Tomorrow well have our first real water park (finally, say the kids) before heading off to Magic Kingdom in the eve for some Fireworks fun. And Patrick don’t impart any of his wisdom on us today so Ill make sure he gives us double for tomorrow's update! :) See ya.

[deutsche-seehund]

29/05/2017

Somewhere outside Namibia

The past few days seemed to have passed so quickly, yet at the same time going through it, it felt like it would take forever to go by. We arrived at our first port, Walvis Bay – Namibia, on the 26th of May morning, only to be told to go to anchorage because reasons. So we basically anchored off at Anchorage number 3 or whatever it was called, because there wasnt anyone there save for this one other multi purpose who seemed to have only 4 containers loaded. 1 on each corner of the upper deck/ hatch covers (2 forward, port and starboard and 2 in front of accomodation, also port and starboard). Anyway, we spent the rest of the day resting up after dropping anchor (9 on deck) because once we berthed it was all hands on deck. For the AB and OS at least anyway. I was relegated to gangway watch from 1730 to 2330, and conversely 0530 to 1130. But prior to my first gangway watch, i was stuck in the ship office with chief answering to the beck and call of the various parties boarding the ship. Immigrations, customs, port inspectors, police, health inspectors etc etc. Sometimes it feels like we are at their mercy. They can just call for you like calling some waiter or waitress at a restuarant.

“You, come here. I want a copy of your ship particulars, NIL list, stores decleration, crew list, vaccination list.” and barely a few minutes later after having to sort through what seemed like a million pieces of paper locating all these documents he calls again and asks where are the papers. All this while i have to serve him with a smile water and soft drinks. I guess thats the price we must pay for doing what we do.

Also, i had my first taste of the 'compliments' system. The immigration officers (if i remember correctly) asked chief about certain 'presents'. With a sheepish look he replied to hold on for a moment while he checked if there was anything. Eventually we handed over a carton of cigarettes to them. That was the only instance i saw at this port because i had to go start my duty at the gangway.  

The stevedores are another group of people entirely. This port didnt seem too bad, but there was this one guy that kept trying to get things from me/us. Water, some form of drinks, cigarettes. Hell he even wanted my boiler suit and jacket. Also quite surprising some other guy asked me for our ship's pass holder, which is to say the plastic holder and lanyard. He said it was good to hold his port pass. Well, i had more in the ship office, but they were spares for us and in the pass box i didnt have any so i just said thats all we have and sorry.

What i dont understand throughout this first stay, and for sure all the future stays in ports is, that why do people want to take things from the ships when they, rightfully (or not) should be giving us things because we are out at sea with no chance of resupply till we get to a port. I was told stories that inspectors would come on board and take cartons of juices, yes cartons, because they never had it before or they like the taste or whatever clown reasons they have. I mean, is it really fair to people on the ship? You take our provisions and other things and what are we left with when we leave port? Especially when we are not resupplying at that port. We go out to sea with reduced food and drink for ourselves? If we had to go back to Singapore from Walvis Bay, lets say (because thats the journey i know, since i just did it) its 22 days or so out in the open sea. And we run out of food? Drinks? Then again thats just my thinking. Who am i anyway? Im just a cadet on a ship for the first time.

Anyway enough of that. The 3 days we spent at port was both long and short, as i have mentioned. It feels short now that we've set sail again (and that i finally feel a bit more rested to sit down and spend time writing these things out), but standing at the gangway doing duty for 6 hours straight felt like an eternity. And thats all there was for my port stay. 6 hours on duty, 6 hours rest. Which usually meant sleeping, no matter what was the time. I didnt get to go out on shore because no one from my 'shift' wanted to go. So i can safely say that the furthest ive been in Namibia was the 4th step on my gangway from my ship.

Also, whoever said that Africa is hot, should actually go to africa. At least the southern part. It was so cold my goodness. It was below 15 degrees everyday we were there, and dropped to anything from 12 to 14 degrees at night. Which isnt so bad actually, except for the fact that the wind will absolutely kill you if you dont dress warmly. Which for us meant long johns, boiler suit and thick jackets. The first night, where i did not have my jacket was the absolute worst night of them all. The wind was relentless in its battering and i had to resort to hiding in the space between the watertight door and inner door to the ships accomodation area. It wasnt that bad in the day, with the sun warming up the air a bit. But i still wore the jacket anyway, simply for the fact that i can hide from the winds this way. Also, it was really foggy/misty, like everyday. Usually clears around noon-ish or so, then picks up again at night. I would delve into meteorology but ill spare everyone and myself included for trying to think about the causes.

For the port itself, it was quite a small port i think. I mean, you cant compare it to Singapore/Shanghai/any top 5 ports you want to put here, but still it feels smaller than what i would have expected it to be. There were maybe like 20 berths in total? And even the cranes are general purpose, none of them were specially fitted for containers. So that meant that if you were unloading containers first, they would attach this special fixture onto the chain block of the crane and when in position, the stevedores would make sure that the container was firmly attached before lifting it off the ship and onto the jetty. Even then, it didnt look anything like what was happening in Singapore (ive been into pasir panjang thrice now. Basically there would be the trailer waiting to pick up the container straight off the crane and drive off, with the next one waiting behind). Instead the container was lifted off the ship and onto the jetty straight away, and just before placing it on the jetty, the stevedores would again remove the twist locks from the bottom section of the containers (twist locks are for holding the container in place while at sea. Its basically a locking mechanism that makes sure that the container stays in place). Then after they check the container number and stuff, they would get another vehicle, like a special forklift cum crane thing that would pick it up and place it onto a trailer that basically just arrived from wherever. In singapore, this process would be maybe 5 minutes start to finish. Here its essentially double the time at least. Then once all the containers that are supposed to be unloaded are unloaded, the crane brings the chain block down to the jetty level, and the stevedores remove the attachment and replaces it with a suitable replacement as to what cargo would be picked up next, i.e. Slings, chain slings, hooks etc etc for picking up the bulk/general cargo. We unloaded quite a bit of cargo here. We unloaded all of the containers on number 4 hatch, and i think some from number 2 hatch as well, and basically emptied out hold 4. We also did some sketchy balls to the walls discharging from hatch 2. Because there was cargo on the deck/hatch cover, on the tween deck and also in the lower hold of number 2. Luckily they were all on the forward part. So we opened up hatch 2 forward part after discharging the cargo on the deck, then discharged the cargo on the tween deck forward in number 2, then removed the pontoon, and then discharged the cargo from the lower hold forward section also. It was pretty risky as there were trucks and some transformers in the hold, to be precise it was 16 trucks. Dont ask me about number of transformers, i dont know. Anyway from the cargo we are carrying, it seems a lot of it is being used to build a power plant and also for construction (trucks w/ trailers). I am quite happy to be a part of this industry for this reason.

We may not be directly involved, but we somewhat enable countries to grow because they are able to get the goods that they need to progress. It may seem somewhat abstract, like what has a shipping company, whose interest is making the most money out of every space they can find on the ship, got to do with the growth of a country?

Chief said this to me before, and i had somewhat similar thoughts about it before (its probably not exactly what he said, since this was like one or two weeks ago and it was about cargo damage or something);

If the cargo doesnt get to its destination on time or in working order, we are affecting someone's livelihood directly or indirectly. We are part of a long chain of a process, and no matter how small it may seem that it is, what happens to the cargo when we are transporting it affects what will happen when we deliver it to the cargo owner.

If the cargo owner is shipping a single transformer that is critical for the project, and it gets damaged because of loading/unloading/sea spray/water leaking into cargo hold or literally anything else that can damage it, it would directly affect its ability to carry out the job. If this transformer was all thats left to power up a whole town or something (dont hang me on this i actually am not sure what a transformer's purpose is), and because it was damaged, it means that the town would not get the power that it needs.

So yeah. Thats one of the reasons why I wanted to do this as well. As small and abstract a part as it may seem, I can take solace to the fact that I am part of a global industry that connects and enables people from different countries to work together.

At least on this multipurpose vessel. Im not too sure about containers yet.

Anyway when we were in port, 2nd officer went out on shore leave and i think at the request of the captain, purchased sim cards enough for 16 people or something like that. The cards gave us 1gb of data and like 500mb or something for dedicated whatsapp messages. And smses, but who uses sms nowadays right /shrug.

So we were able to actually contact people at home and stuff. Which was nice. It helped a lot during the ungodly long hours of duty. I spent most of my data i think downloading my spotify playlists and using instagram, telegram, facebook and stuff. I still had like 300mb of whatsapp data but i dont really use whatsapp that much. I spent a lot of the data sending some pictures and videos that i had that werent already transferred to my laptop.

And that's that. My 3 days in my first ever port in this new journey. Hopefully the time would pass a bit faster now that we are getting into the swing of things.

Im in the process of deciding a new tumblr url, for the purposes of this journal or whatever you would call it.

Now that im back in the open sea with no data, i cant translate properly into german since my german is absolutely shit for all, but i was thinking of salty sea dog, which i guess would translate to something like saltzliches see hund. Oh well. Or i could just go with Deutsche See Hund. Im still deciding.