#it writes…

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Stanley is crying, shaking, unable to properly breathe.

He’s never seen his brother look like that. Maybe when they were very, very small. Before his brother learned to smile through the pain, to soothe his pain instead of his own. It breaks him, it feels earth shattering. Why is he crying?

“I loved you, you fucking idiot!” He’s screaming at him. Ford knew that, why is it still a surprise?

“And I try and I try and it’s never fucking enough for you!” Why would he say that?

His hair is matted to his forehead, long and cascading down his shoulders underneath a worn beanie. His fists are balled by his side. Ford doesn’t understand.

“I, fuck, Ford. You don’t fucking get it and I don’t think you stupid pig-headed brain will ever fucking get it.”

“Can’t you see you’ve hurt me?” he’s pleading with him now. His hands now pointed into his own chest. Ford still doesn’t understand.

“Y-you’ve broken me down, made me feel like you were the only person I could trust. Isolated me. Ford you…” he’s stops, tears still flowing down his cheeks, but his face is twisted in realization now looking at the floor.

“You’ve ruined my life.” He says plainly.

And Ford’s heart breaks.

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Also.. as a treat. Drunken Sailors sneak peak

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“Dear Mabel,

College is going great!

…

Okay, that’s a lie. It’s um.. miserable here, actually. I thought I’d like it, find like-minded people. Have my interests actually cared about, learn what I want. You know how Dad always said I’d flourish in college? But.. I just.

Fuck… I miss you Mabel? I know it’s probably dumb but everything feels so.. empty. Everything feels so shallow, not to mention is so much more stressful than I ever thought it’d be and I.. the people I’m around are nice enough but they don’t.. I don’t get them? How do people just talk to each other? How do you just, make friends?

I tried to join a DNDNMD group but.. it um, fell through. Two of the members were dating and they had a falling out, it was a whole mess. Really gave me a distaste for it…

I feel like.. I know it would be easier if you were here. I know you’d flourish here, hell probably start a million clubs and stuff. Throw parties.. go to bars…

I know you’d find plenty of cute boys and girls here too! Some are cute enough…

I just, it’s lonely here. I can barely focus, nothing makes sense like I thought it would… Nothing.. nothing is what I thought it be..

I-“

Dipper frustratedly rips up the paper in his journal. It’s stupid, he thinks to himself, biting his bottom lip. They literally call together everyday since he left, so why… God he’s stupid. He drops his head onto the paper below him, he hates this stupid feeling in his gut. Anger and Shame bubble in his throat, tears start to form in his eyes.

He should sleep.. yeah that’d fix it.

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currently writting out this converstation and honestly this is funny as hell. Love you autism ford