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#it’s a bit different with my wela. she’s white latine but her siblings aren’t.
pinkfey · 2 years
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it’s weird when your only two ethnic roots that are of some significance to your identity are connected to you via two grandparents
#like my grandmother is hawaiian !! which makes my father half white !! but very little culture was passed down to me#because it wasn’t passed to him. u know?? i have to go to my grandmother to learn about it#and then when i do it doesn’t feel like a piece of me?? it feels like her culture. and i LOVE it so dearly. but like it isn’t?? it’s not my#-identity. and i feel like it Should be but i just. i’m white!! and wasn’t raised with any hawaiian culture !!#it’s. weird.#it’s a bit different with my wela. she’s white latine but her siblings aren’t.#as in she’s just more pale than they are. and so my mother having an irish father is also white#but she was immersed in puerto rican culture. and so was i!!#but i have difficulty calling myself latine in any way#it doesn’t fit#and like#i don’t relate to other white people when it comes to specific stereotypes#such as bad cooking or addressing issues directly as white ppl do#because to puerto ricans problems NEVER get handled. just talked about. everything is passive. that’s how my mom is#not how i am but how she is and half my family is#and like. family gatherings were big and loud and full of music and dancing laaaaate into the night#and frequent too#and i was surrounded by spanish speakers so much of the time#so much of my childhood and life was immersed in puerto rican culture but i’m just. i don’t think i’m puerto rican. i’m NOT puerto rican.#like i’m not a white latina i just. i just don’t feel like i am. or can be. but im not white in the way other white european americans are??#maybe that’s what it boils down to !! not relating to white americans in certain aspects#but only those certain ones. my mom may be a white latina but she is very much a white woman in that traditional european american sense#anyway idek what im rambling about atp. identity is very odd. i don’t feel like there’s any heritage i should claim#but at the same time white isn’t a good enough descriptor when it comes to how i was raised#because it isn’t like white european americans. is this. is this making sense. i think im going in circles#i walk through the world as a white woman and that’s ultimately it at the end of the day bc thats my race!! but ethnically i have no answer.#heritage is strange#anyways.txt
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