#but i have difficulty calling myself latine in any way

[lara635kookie]

Okay...Not the ship analysis yet but a little snippet of it. To write the analysis I had to think about why I like Red Crackle so much. And I realized one of the reasons why is that they remind me of another ship I also love:

(Warning:Spoilers of both Carmen Sandiego and Spider-Man Into/Across the Spiderverse ahead.)

Yes, they got differences but also massive resemblance either that once you notice, you can't unsee it. It isn't noticeable when you try to compare Gray and Miles and Gwen and Carmen, but once you switch...

Both Miles and Carmen are latino main characters, just that Miles is black and Carmen is brown. While Puerto Rico is a USA territory, in culture terms they share more with Latin America. And Even Miles not being born in Puerto Rico, his puerto rican roots and heritage are clear. 8/B in spanish is nowhere near as bad. As a Brazilian, we speak portuguese, which is a very similar language to Spanish(I myself know a little bit of spanish), but overall, both languages tend to sound very difficult, specially when you're learning in a place that doesn't speak any. Carmen didn't seem to be totally fluent in spanish either since in the Lupe Peligro episode she says her Spanish is getting better. So not fluent, at least in that point in time. Maybe that changes after that so I'll just assume both Miles and Carmen are working on their spanish. Another point is that they are both very smart. Carmen knows her geography and history AND can speak multiple languages and Miles is great at physics AND art, both very different areas from one another. Saying that, Carmen had everything to be a Mary Sue, just like Miles had everything to be a Gary Stu but instead, while they are extraordinary, we also see their weaknesses, flaws and mistakes. On the first two episodes of the first season of Carmen Sandiego and on the first spiderverse movie, we see Black Sheep/Miles Morales transition to becoming Carmen Sandiego/Spider-Man. And on that transition, someone was always by their side...

Both Gwendolyne Stacy(Spider-Woman) (or Gwanda ;) and Graham Calloway(Crackle) have a four letter nickname that starts with G and the protagonist always call them that(Gwen and Gray). Both have a surname that ends with Y. Both are a little bit older than the main character(Gray is two years older than Carmen and Gwen is 15 months older than Miles). Both are trans to a lot of people(I don't actually believe this, I think both Gwen and Gray are cisgender, specially Gwen, because of the comics and because while I think her revelation to her father was made in purpose to resonate and pass as a metaphor for coming out, I believe in the less popular theory that she was an ally and her Peter was actually trans and that is one of the reasons he suffered bullying and Gwen defended him and had that "Protect Trans Kids" poster in her room, this is literally the vibe she passes me:

Some time ago I saw a theory that the relationship of Miles and Gwen was a metaphor for one of the difficulties that interracial couples pass that the most privileged has to learn that the same society system that protects them, won't protect their partner in the same way, and that is shown through the way Spider Society treats Miles and I know there are more black spider people like Hobie and Margo but the parallel still works:he is not being accepted because he is different. The thing is, that theory kinda breaks the trans Gwen theory because if she was trans, sadly, the system wouldn't protect her either. I also don't believe it because of the voice actors. Some years ago, an adult could dub a children if he did the right voice. Nowadays, they cast a voice actor more similar to the character. Like, black characters need to have black voice actors, etc, otherwise they get canceled. And both of the voice actors for Gray and Gwen are cisgender, and I saw people complaining that if the producers wanted to make characters "potentially trans" they should have casted trans voice actors, for both characters. But anyway, I don't mind and respect the people who think they are trans). Both got competition for the other's affection(Gwen has now Spider-Byte and Gray has Ivy, Julia and pretty much everyone you can ship with Carmen in this show, which is a lot of people). Both are the lighter skin love interest not from where the protagonist is(Gray is from Australia and Gwen is from another dimension).

And now with the storyline similarities. Both pairings start as friends, so both lead to a slow burn. Both were an amazing partners in crime duo, working really great as a team, and being just the two of them or even with more people, their connection always stood out. Miles and Carmen never became official members of Spider Society/V.I.L.E. but disagree with them and escape from them to do what they believe is right. Both Gwen and Gray make a mistake and are expelled from Spider Society/V.I.L.E. (Gwen with the portal multiverse dimension go home machine or whatever and Gray by having his memories wiped) and then they realize too late they made a mistake with Miles/Carmen and now have to fix that mistake. Also both Carmen and Miles say "Goodbye Gray/Gwen." in the most DRAMATIC way possible before doing an grand triumphal exit and I love that for them. And the look Gray/Gwen gives them before they leave is THE EXACT SAME LOOK, I SWEAR. So as you can see, both ships leave a room for A LOT of angst and drama. Also just the way they look so fondly at each other and the way both Carmen/Miles and Gray/Gwen look sad when they have to leave or when the other has to leave them says it all. Platonic or not, both couples have an undeniable bond and just work so well together, being as friends, lovers, partners...They are each other's ride or die. They are each other's everything.

(Also just an personal opinion is that both Spiderverse and Carmen Sandiego have the MOST BEAUTIFUL ANIMATION I HAVE EVER SEEN) (Along with the new Miraculous movie) (Ladybug and Chat Noir are also very similar of Carmen and Gray but that's something more noticeable to pretty much everyone, I don't have to elaborate much on that matter) (I've got nothing to say about LadyNoir/MariChat being similar to Red Crackle that hasn't been said before)

The major difference about them is that, while both the Spiderverse movies and the Carmen Sandiego series don't have romance as their main focus, Miles and Gwen will most likely be canon in the films, just like they are in the comics. I think it will be a movie trilogy so they'll probably get together in the third movie(Beyond the Spiderverse in january? Anyway, 2024, save the date). I mean, Spider-Byte is cool and all but she's a game avatar or something so I don't think Miles and her can get together, even if he travels to her universe and decides to stay there or vice versa. They introduced her just now and we barely know anything about her, and Miles and Gwen clearly already have a whole build up story going on with a consistent arc so why mess it up? Besides, I think we need more main interracial couples representation in media. Aside from these two, the only GOOD main interracial couples I can think of are Druig and Makkari from Eternals(I never even watched Eternals and I know they are better than Ikaris and Sersi)(They are also an interracial couple but they clearly don't have the chemestry Drukkari does and Ikaris seems to be kind of a jerk tbh), Ricky and Gina(from HSMTMTS, which I don't watch either but their clips I saw on YouTube are just the cutest thing), Ben and Devi from Never Have I Ever, Daphne and Simon and Kate and Anthony from Bridgerton, and Julie and Luke(Juke) from Julie and The Phantoms(JATP) which is literally an impossible love story since Luke is dead(he's a ghost) and Julie isn't(she's alive) and the series was cancelled(still mad about it and will forever be). My point is:Couples with different ethnicities are not only little but the ones we do have are mostly either impossible to happen, unfairly treated/messed up by writers/not well executed or when treated right, we don't get enough content of them/they are forgotten, in the majority cases, and that needs to change. Anyway...Meanwhile, with Red Crackle, as Carmen Sandiego had a pretty open ending, canon can be whatever the hell you want, and for me is red crackle. That's it. Thank you for coming to my ted talk. Will be posting more "written podcasts" soon.

[dailyexo]

[INTERVIEW] Kai - 230314 UPROXX: “Kai Doesn’t Care What You Think, ‘Rover’ Is His Reminder To Live Life Freely”

"When Kai debuted with EXO 11 years ago, he was already a fan favorite. His teaser featured him smoothly dancing across a puddle of water to the group’s jazz pop track “My Lady.” From then on, Kai, whose real name is Kim Jongin, became one of the attractors and magnets for potential EXO-Ls to be.

With a massive discography and awards accrued over the last decade with EXO (and SuperM), it was only November 2020 when Kai unraveled his own world to the masses and proved how much of an ace he is. With his debut single “Mmmh,” the EXO member checked off every tick on what it meant to be a whole package — and be rightfully called “Idol’s Idol:” a catchy R&B ear worm that’s easy to sing along; sexy, jaw-dropping choreography that went viral; and looks (including a jawline so sharp) that could kill from a glance.

His title as Asia’s First Love only continued to grow when he followed up with “Peaches” (2021), a poetic R&B serenade that highlighted his romantic side.

Fast forward to today (March 13), Kai unleashes the wild side of him in his upbeat, Latin-inspired single “Rover” off his third EP of the same title. Last week, we caught up with Kai to discuss his new project, and his success as a soloist and member of EXO.

We obviously think of a car when we hear “Rover.” But how would you interpret that?

Kai: “Rover” is about not caring about what people think or say. It’s about just going your way freely as a wanderer. But that is also the whole album overall. It’s also about social media as well. A lot of different people see what you post and it’s a place where a judgment or opinion could actually be easily made. There are possibilities you could also be jealous of someone, or look up to someone when you’re on social media. But it’s more about not caring about all those different perspectives, or those gazes at all. And it’s a message of just think free, so the message that’s here I think is let’s be free.

I have a lot of messages to share to the world but whoever interprets it or whoever sees it, are free to interpret it individually since it’s different for each person. But regardless, I want to say that I’m just going to do whatever I want to do, what I like to do, and just spread the message of freedom and show that I’m doing what I want to do and what I like.

It’s such a switch from your last two singles, what did you think when you first heard it?

Kai: The first impression for “Rover” was very good. I thought the melody and rhythm meshed well and was very addictive. The song has a nice rhythm that’s very fun and easy to dance to. And while preparing for “Rover,” I was excited knowing I can focus on showing a new side of myself.

Are you aware of your virality every time you make a comeback?

Kai: Well, actually I don’t focus on that that much. Nor do I feel it that much because it’s a fight with myself because of how time is actually limited. We only have 24 hours a day and there’s a lot of good that I want to do and show to my fans. But other than focusing on the virality that I bring or the popularity that I have, I do have a little bit of pressure to focus on making something good

In “Mmmh” it was the choreography, then “Peaches” the detail that went viral was when you twirled one of your dancer’s hair. What do you predict would be the viral moment for “Rover?”

Kai: I could honestly say that out of all the dances or choreography that I’ve done, this one was very much difficult. But difficulty [for me] is shown in a cool way, or I hope so. So I’m not going to be able to choose just one part because I like everything.

Actually, I’m actually looking forward to what the people, fans, and listeners would choose as the viral moment or the killing part of the song. So, I really wish and hope that people could choose for me.

Any behind-the-scenes moments you want to talk about in this album?

Kai: Particularly, I do like the track “Bomba.” It’s one of my b-side tracks for this album and one of the tracks that I actually considered as the lead single for my second album,Peaches — between “Peaches” and “Bomba.”

Especially for this album, rather than focusing on what others would like to see from me, I mainly focused on what I like and what I would like to show. As I was really enjoying that thought in the production process, I couldn’t even think about any difficulties. I think my third album is more of a result of the experiences that I had with my first and second albums. So if it weren’t for my first and second albums, I think that my third album wouldn’t be possible. And I think when I was shooting the song, preparing the album itself, I tried to be more bold and unique with the choices that I make and I tried to work on that.

Do you feel any pressure still, as you make these comebacks?

Kai: Sometimes. I did have some pressure creating this album because I really want to showcase a new and different side to my fans. However, all of that pressure was released in the process of this album, while also preparing for it.

I always want to do better and show the best to my fans. I try my best not to think too deeply about it because I ultimately want to solely focus on the stage. Because when I start thinking too deeply into things, then I won’t be able to concentrate and fully show my 100 percent.

Have you found any stark differences or discoveries about yourself as a soloist and you as a member of EXO?

Kai: Well, yes there are differences to this actually. So, when I’m in the group — as a member of EXO, I feel more comfortable because we’re able to share this pressure that we feel altogether. I tend to rely more on the members than relying on myself. And it’s also that I really do enjoy and like being in EXO when in a group altogether. Because there’s EXO, I exist. Because of EXO, there’s Kai.

But even as a soloist, it’s very fun. I enjoy it as well since it’s only about me doing well, and me doing the best that I could do. It can be comfortable in those terms, but sincerely do enjoy both. Because, once again, I think Kai exists because of EXO.

What’s the biggest thing you’ve learned as a soloist?

Kai: As a soloist, I’m honestly very satisfied to where I’m at but I still can feel that I really, and truly, miss my members, especially those who enlisted. I’m really looking forward to the album that we will release as EXO altogether.

I could say that I realized I still do lack a lot of skills, and I have a lot to improve on still. And since I had my members while doing a lot of different activities with EXO, I was able to share the pressure. As a soloist, all the pressure is on me. Everything really depends on how I show my performance, and how the outcome is done by me. I really came to realize that I have to do my best and do better.

And, this is actually not directed to me being a soloist but, one really big learning that I realized these days is that time is special.

One thing the world doesn’t know that Kai wants to share.

Kai: Actually, I really don’t know who I am still and I think it’s kind of definite for the world not to know fully about me too. It’s more so that the images that I show as a member of EXO and Kai are very different from who I am as a person.

And you know, the fans do know that you know on stage, I’m charismatic and you know pretty much cool but that I’m a bit different off stage but I could say that not a lot of people know this because you know I may seem a bit you know charismatic on stage and cool but I’m actually a pure and kind person and yeah that’s about it for the first question.

Anything else you’d like to say?

I actually went to go eat Kaljebi which is a mix of Kalguksu (hand-pulled noodles) and sujebi (flattened hand-pulled noodles, and that was my favorite place to go eat."

Credit: Uproxx.

[ladyazulina]

Find the Word

Thank you so much @tc-doherty for tagging me! 💙

My words were fresh, excuse, difficulty, and danger.

Fresh - Ethienne [Maya AU]

This part goes before this one here.

“So, Ethienne,” Takeshi turns to face me, “we have a surprise for you.” “Do you?” I do the same, crossing my legs again. “You must meet Flash,” I see his eyes going down while he talks, his tongue about to soak his lips when he gets conscious of the move and changes it to bite the interior of his cheek. At least he has some self-control, but- I tilt my head. “Excuse me?” How confused can I show myself? I search for the answer on the way backstage and they tell me in a whisper, because they know I would be paying attention to what I feel out there. I shouldn't look too shocked, they say, I should at least know the basics. I should at least fake that I know the basics. The basics they don't even let me know. It's the first time someone talks about Flash around me, if it's not about Ribbon, Solence, or whoever the other upper heroes of my agency are, I don't have the slightest idea. “Flash?” He isn’t the only one looking confused. “The worldwide quickest hero?” It doesn't matter if they are the worldwide quickest hero, my agency doesn't mind keeping me informed. And I have to improvise because I am the one being under the reflectors. I lean on the backrest, recovering the chain between my fingers, looking pensive as if I know something. I know nothing. “Is ours?” I don't know what's necessary to be called a worldwide hero. I don't know which positions are filled. I don't know how many of them by Asians, much less Japanese. But I know Flash isn't a Japanese word and is perfect to be understood worldwide, the English ruling the world. “Well, we adopt him,” he clarifies, more to me than the audience who must know him and love him for the sound of it. “He came from Latin America with his family when he was a child, is still part of the Latin community, but he's as Japanese as the rest of us. So, yes, is ours. Are you sure you don't know him?” The screen on the wall of the audience seats' platform lights up again to show me his photos. With just a glimpse of them, I can tell he hasn't a double life. He has no costume. He's open to the world. Messy hair and eyes of the same brown, sun-kissed skin. A t-shirt under his red jacket with cream details, pants just as resistant as the brand of his tennis shoes. So clear and expressive even through photos. It's evident how he became worldwide famous, looking so approachable. “I'm sure I wouldn't forget him if I did,” I whisper, too immersed in the breeze of fresh air that he gives me only with his image. With a friend like him, I can be myself. With a friend like him, the burden wouldn't be so unbearable. But the agency knows very well which people to keep me away from, I can tell from the angry demands of those backstage that this wasn't on the script we were given. “This is a good moment as any to meet him then,” I hear the host’s voice far away. “Are you okay with it, Flash?”

You can find the first chapter of Maya on Wattpad and Inkspired (warning, it still needs an edition, was one of my first translations to English). I still need to write an intro for this story here.

Excuse - Travelers

This part goes long before this one here.

He began wrapping her fingers from below the joint closest to the knuckles, going around twice before working his way down, covering every possible inch of skin —except for the thumb— all the way to the wrist. It was firm, slightly tight. Her fingers pressed together, but she knew from the moment of impact that she would be unable to use them normally. “It's done,” he unnecessarily warned her, tucking the last of the bandage under the previous turns. “That should be enough.” “Thank you very much, Mr. Davis.” “I'm so sorry this happened…” he murmured, putting the ointment back in the first-aid kit, holding a blister between his fingers. “Sure that-?” “I don't need it,” she hastened to reject it, “I'm fine. Save it for the future.” His lips twisted, but he let it back inside with a sigh. The client stepped forward as the kit closed, receiving their attention. “How much did the thing you just used cost?” “Excuse me?” Mr. Davis's brow furrowed in confusion. “I'd like to pay for her care.” “Oh, you don't have to bother,” Syphonee turned to face him, shaking her good hand. “I insist,” guilt and concern remained on his face. “I have nothing to charge you,” said Mr. Davis, “both the ointment and the bandage are part of my medical kit.” “How much did it cost you to buy them then?” the customer took his wallet out of his pocket. “I’ll replace them.” Mr. Davis exchanged glances with Syphonee, who shrugged, having no idea what to tell him about how to act. He gave in with a sigh, throwing up his hands. “Is this all you're going to take?” he pointed to the things on the bar, receiving a nod. “Then I'll add it to your bill.” Syphonee waited a few steps away for Mr. Davis to finish checking in and for the customer to leave, though to her surprise the man didn't go straight out, but instead turned with a bag in hand, holding out a piece of paper with something written on it. She took it by inertia, looking at him with the question written on her face. “Call me if it gets worse, you need medication, or go to the hospital, I'll pay all the costs.” So, he did leave. Syphonee glanced at Mr. Davis, as surprised as he was, before slipping the paper into the back pocket of her pants. Such people shouldn’t be lost sight of. “What are you going to do?” he sounded amused. “I hope you're not judging me,” she raised her eyebrows at him, shaking her head as she heard him laugh. “We don't know if I'm going to feel worse.” “I sincerely hope not.”

Nowhere to be found at the moment. I still need to write something about this story.

Difficulty - Stahl [Maya AU]

TW: mention of death, addiction, alcohol, sex, implied sex, implied sexual violence, implied abuse, violence, brutality, and bad mental health.

Personal problems threaten the career of the brother of the famous Medjay. One of the biggest questions for many people immersed in the world of heroism after the death of the famous Egyptian hero nicknamed Medjay revolves around the promise placed on his little brother. Unfortunately for everyone, the young hero Stahl has been experiencing personal difficulties that have made his job that much more difficult. The accusations by his ex-partner have only called into question whether the Egyptian really is what we were initially portrayed as. Rumors of addictions to alcohol and sexual intercourse allow us to take a closer look -and in a personal way- at Stahl. Are the allegations of abuse true? We are of the opinion that perhaps they are not entirely wrong thanks to the displays of brutality on the part of the hero. We agree and appreciate his work, but we believe the world would prefer a more mentally capable person.

You can find the first chapter of Maya on Wattpad and Inkspired (warning, it still needs an edition, was one of my first translations to English). I still need to write an intro for this story here.

Dangerous - Heroes [Maya... intended original project?]

It was an imperceptible movement. She moved her face an inch higher, parting her lips and leaving the lower one hooked on his thumb. But it was enough goading for someone like him, she could see it in his eyes. Yamil leaned in to kiss her, only she was no longer there. She disappeared in a smoke screen, causing him to hit the wall before turning to look for her, locating her a few steps behind him as she popped one of the pocky cookies n' cream he had bought from the store and hung on a bag in his right hand. She now looked completely amused, biting the stick to savor it, giving him a big smile. “What? Did you think you were the only one with tricks?“ “How-?“ He took a step forward, but she disappeared again. Definitely this time. She was no longer in the alley. In her place, she left a yellow envelope, which he picked up, taking out a letter from inside it. She wasn't the only one with tricks or the only one who knew his. Or the only one that knew his parents also kept his secret. Or everything he had done taking advantage of it. That was a problem. A big and dangerous problem.

You can find the first chapter of Maya on Wattpad and Inkspired (warning, it still needs an edition, was one of my first translations to English). I still need to write an intro for this story here.

It was Maya's turn to shine, I can see it... And I listed all the projects that had the words and chose the ones to share at random. The universe is telling me something.

Again, this will be an Open Tag! If you want to be on my tag list, let me know in reblog tags or replies ♥

The words are problem, safe, secure, and one. Tag me if you look for them!

[pinkfey]

it’s weird when your only two ethnic roots that are of some significance to your identity are connected to you via two grandparents

[fyexo]

201216 M-Pop star Lay Zhang tells us about his music, dreams, and starting his own company

Chinese Megastar Lay Zhang wants to bring ‘China to the world’ with his music. He talks to Don’t Bore Us about how he plans to achieve his dreams.

For most of us, our dreams are conditional. For us, they remain in the abstract most of the time, attached to phrases like ‘It would be good if…’ or ‘I wish I…’. Not for Lay Zhang. Lay Zhang speaks in dreams. In his mind, he picks them out of the abstract and parks them on the road to his goals. Then, he sets into motion a cause and effect cycle, where each step leads to the realization of that dream.

“The word dream is a strange one,” he wrote in his autobiography Standing Firm at 24. “You start with a dream, but you have to fulfill everything in reality. Of course, it’s not really that you’re dreaming, because someone once told me, a dream is actually what a person’s heart looks like.”

Despite his status as one of China’s most famous stars, it’s this spirit that still is the condensation of Zhang’s ethos as an artist. Born in Changsha in the Chinese province of Hunan as Zhang Yixing, he was no stranger to the world of entertainment as a child star. In 2008, he auditioned for trainee-ship at SM Entertainment, largely considered the progenitor of modern-day K-pop, and passed. Four years later, he debuted as EXO’s Lay, an act that turned the tide for K-pop in the 2010s.

Home, however, was never very far away — after flitting between South Korea and China for work for sometime, the lengthy schedules eventually made him shift base to mainland China, laying the groundwork for Lay Zhang. His first studio album, Lay 02 Sheep, broke five records on the first day of digital release on the Chinese music service QQ Music. His second, NAMANANA, ranked No. 21 on the Billboard 200 chart, making him the highest-ranking M-pop artist on the chart to date.

It’s an ideal trajectory for anyone with dreams as big as Zhang: every new release came with new records and renown. Eventually, however, Zhang realized what his work was missing: a piece of his roots. He wanted to show the world “what China is really about.”

And so he said: “Let there be LIT.”

Named after a play on the Chinese word for lotus, ‘lián huā’, LIT — released in two parts over the course of 2020 — puts Zhang’s Chinese identity at its core. As he weaves the sounds of the Hulusi, Guzheng and Gong together with hip-hop, R&B, and Latin, Zhang not only creates his own genre (which he calls “mixed Mando-pop”), but also nurtures a new dream: one where Mando-pop frees itself of the labels of being “vapid” and “vain” and presents new avenues of experimentation and cultural triumph.

“In the future, mixed will be king. Every work, every genre can be mixed with each other; every language can mix with another. That’s where we go.” he says.

The way to this “mixed” world might be long, but Zhang will soon have company on the way. Earlier in 2020, he announced the establishing of his own company, Chromosome Entertainment, with a set focus to not only train the next generation of Chinese idols, but also to include Chinese culture and history as an integral part of their artistry.

DBU caught up with Lay Zhang to talk about Chromosome Entertainment, his music, how he is going to take his company to ‘infinity’, and his adorable cats.

Don’t Bore Us: Why did you think this was the right time to start your own company?

Lay Zhang: I have always wanted to have my own company and leave my mark in the world. I feel I need to think less and do more. I wanted to do it no matter how difficult it would be. If I kept waiting for the right moment, I might never do it. So, I created the Chromosome Entertainment Group.

DBU: Is there anything that you’ll focus on teaching the trainees that you yourself didn’t get during your trainee years?

Lay Zhang: Our trainees will learn more and more about Chinese culture and Chinese history.

DBU: Speaking of your music over the past year, we have to talk about LIT. We saw you expand into genres that you had never experimented with before. While Part 1 was a mix of traditional Chinese sounds, Part 2 had more modern inspirations such as R&B, Hip-hop, Latin, and others. Which of these sounds comes more naturally to you, and which one is more difficult to explore?

Lay Zhang: I just tried a lot of genres. Since I was young, I have been singing in Chinese and listening to pop music, so I find writing R&B is easier, since it is similar. With traditional Chinese music, it feels like second nature, since I grew up with it.

Latin and Hip-hop is very new to me, but Latin caught my ear because it’s easy to dance to. I’ve been listening to hip-hop and trap in the past few years. I think no matter what kind, I want to do a new genre. I want to call it M-pop because I think in the future, mixed will be king. Every work, every genre can be mixed with each other — every language can mix with each other, and that’s where we go.

DBU: Speaking of the incorporation of your native Chinese sounds into the songs on the first album, what is the most difficult part while looking for a middle-ground between culture and modernity?

Lay Zhang: You always want to respect the culture. We owe a lot to the past for giving us today: I cannot stress that enough. I understand that people have new tastes each year, so you want to make sure that you match the energy and the vibe of the year.

It’s hard to explain how I find the balance. I ask my friends and collaborators, what they feel. I took that into consideration [with LIT], and checked my gut feeling. Did I feel [like] it mixed my Chinese sound with the present or modern without losing it? It’s [a] feeling I get after listening to the record time after time in my car or in the studio.

DBU: With reference to bringing “China to the world”. How do you think LIT did that, apart from, of course, being a mash-up of different influences?

Lay Zhang: I think this album is the first of its kind in a way. It’s very unique: we brought together new and legendary producers to create beautiful music. We had traditional and modern day stories to showcase the idea of the past and the present, to show the world that Chinese artists can be creative. They can think more deeply about music. I want people to know that we are improving everyday. We are working hard. This is what LIT shows.

DBU: Historically, western audiences have thought of Mando-pop as being “very vain or bland.” You have always wanted to push forward Mixed Mando-pop through your work. How do you hope to change this perception of Mando-pop globally through your music?

Lay Zhang: It is a work in progress. We are still improving and developing M-pop. Since I was a child, I have always had big goals and dreams. I want to show the world what China is really about, that we are respectful people trying to better ourselves.

DBU: Your current approach to your work makes me curious. The words “one of China’s biggest celebrities” are often used in your context. With the fan-base and work you’ve built over the years, you could very well have taken the safer route and stuck to the previous sounds you have experimented with before, because anything you make is guaranteed to be a hit. So why is it important for you to keep making the kind of music you do, in the way you make it?

Lay Zhang: I want to challenge myself and see what I can do. I admit, I don’t always succeed, but I’d rather try different genres and sing in different languages to see what I am capable of. Like any artist, I want my music to reach more people, so you have to branch out and try new things, but at the same time, not lose who you are. I have great fans that support me and allow me to dream bigger. I want to pave the path for the next generation to share their music with the world.

DBU: You’ve worked both in South Korea and China. With K-pop having a moment in the global spotlight, what are some things that you feel M-pop could learn or borrow from K-pop?

Lay Zhang: I think it’s great that K-pop is having its moment. In M-pop, we need to put ourselves out there more. We need to meet fans in every city and town to create that one-on-one interaction. I think there are enough artists with quality music to match the artists in K-pop: we just need to focus on sharing Mando-pop.

DBU: For the past few years, you have been heavily involved in music reality shows geared towards bringing out China’s next musical stars. There was Idol Producer, Youth With You, Street Dance of China: what are your hopes from the next generation, and why this interest?

Lay Zhang: The next generation inspires me. Their dreams and efforts inspire me to work harder and be a good role model. I hope they can focus on creating great art and work that they can be proud of. Their work should speak for itself. If everyone can do this, they can do this. If everyone can do this, we can push the boundaries of music and art. We can create works that leave people in awe.

DBU: In the larger context of your artistry, what impact has this year had on you personally?

Lay Zhang: COVID-19 slowed my life down like everyone else. We have all experienced difficulties, but I was able to think about my music and career more clearly. I decided that I should go after the things I want as soon as I could. For my artistry, I realized I needed to focus on music I made, my company, and make music that really carried the culture and vibe of my country.

DBU: Observing your trajectory from when you just started out to now, I was thinking about how it is very clear where your professional priorities lie. What about personal ones? What are you focusing on personally in the coming year?

Lay Zhang: I think about this a lot, and it’s hard to separate my work and personal life. But I think I only have that much time before I run out of energy. I am always thirsty (laughs), so I know I won’t be able to continue this forever. I want to keep pushing until I can’t. So, then I can focus on my personal life knowing I gave it all to my career.

DBU: I asked some fans if they had anything to say to you, and most of them wanted me to relay the same thing: please take a well-deserved break! Now that LIT has had its successful run, is it time for a vacation, or is there more to come?

Lay Zhang: My cats give me a lot of confidence and happiness. They make it easier to face each day; it’s nice to know you have someone waiting for you at home. But I will take a vacation when I turn 40 (laughs). Of course, there is more to come: the trainees we are receiving are so talented. I am excited to create something that will hopefully last a long time, and will improve and uphold the entertainment industry in China.

L Singh @ Don’t Bore Us

[metvmorqhoses]

How many and which languages do you know??

I'd like to premise that I am not good at languages in the slightest.

I live for language as a form of becoming, as an anthropological happening which shapes and defines us as we shape and define it, yet as much as my talent resides into being able to sense, understand and occasionally bend the labyrinth that it is (writers are just that) in order to be and create, to ultimately single out meaning from the chaos of the soul, the linguistic spirit in me is actually really static, and above all, relegated to the written word (and to a very specific one).

I find the written relationship with language to be the exact opposite to what we normally identify as the predisposition to "languages" (namely the predisposition to speak many different ones more or less effortlessly).

My being is furiously attached to a specific language. It has to be, or I wouldn't be able to really write in it.

And getting to be that intimate with many languages is not only wildly difficult in my eyes, but somehow I feel like it shatters you while enriching you - principally as an artist, but as a person as well.

Don't people who can easily learn many languages feel like some kind of shapeshifters with many personalities? Is it just me?

I like to navigate languages philologically, as the forking paths of the many veins of the many branches forming the very same tree, I find it beyond fascinating, especially to understand human nature, but at the same time the more languages I know - the more languages I let in -, the more I feel my writing (the supreme way of using language I can conceive) losing its original purity.

Adding languages to a person means adding ways to be and feel, emotions and thoughts that many times can be only truly expressed in their language of birth and which leave you wordless in every other.

You cannot be exactly the same person in every language, and artists have to somehow be. Being unable to carry yourself over every writing medium (from language to language) is maddening.

I find that something in me always rebels to this every time I get exposed to a new language, resulting in me being very language-resistant lol if that makes any sense. I don't easily pick up accents or spoken tongues. I know many people who can do that unconsciously even spending a week abroad or in another region. I'm the opposite of that. I have a death grip on very specific languages and in a very complex way that can hardly be switched even when I'd like to. I have to force myself and the results are far from effortless.

I felt like explaining this because I believe only two languages ever cut that deep in me to actually state I know them - my mother tongue, which is Italian, and English. Italian and English represent respectively my childhood and my becoming.

That said, knowing Italian, I can pretty much understand the majority of the romance languages, especially when written. I've never studied Spanish or Portuguese, but I can easily understand 70% of them at any given moment.

I also have studied French for three years and spent most of my childhood summers in France, so I am not absolutely oblivious to it and can absolutely read in French, maybe searching a few words depending on the difficulty of the text (actually my Egyptology exam at uni was based only on 1800s manuals written in French lol and I had no problem reading them, even if I wouldn't call reading in French a pleasure). Adding to that, I'm from the Northern part of Italy, so my grandparents only spoke Piemontese (Piedmont dialect) with each other, thing that resulted in me completely understanding it (yet I cannot speak it for the life of me lol). Piemontese is very close to French.

Adding to this, I know Latin and Ancient Greek quite well, I studied them at both high school and uni - I've never attempted to speak in them if not when quoting things or reading but I think it's understandable lol

Also lately I discovered I can understand certain things in German without having a single clue of the language (I discovered German Opera, you know), passing through English and other languages, but I'm far from knowing it in a proficient way. It was a fun thing to realize tho.

[fremedon]

Fic Writer Interview

Tagged by @everyonewasabird​. Thanks for tagging me!

Name: ellen_fremedon on AO3

Fandoms: For the moment, though I’m still reading here and there in other fandoms, I’m very intensely monofannish about Les Miserables; I don’t think I’ve been this deeply ensconced in a single fandom since my Harry Potter days.

Where you post: AO3.

Most popular one-shot: I am confused at the distinction being drawn between one-shots and multichapter works; in my vocabulary, a one-shot is a self-contained story with no sequels, regardless of whether it’s chaptered.

In any case, my most popular non-chaptered one-shot, going by kudos, is “Twenty-Year Man,” a novella-length Ivan/Byerly (Vorkosigan Saga) fic featuring urban planning and electoral shenanigans. 

Going by hits, my most popular fic is “A Place to Lie Down,” my Amis de l’ABC sex pollen fic, but that’s not actually a one-shot anymore, because I’m working on a sequel :D.

Most popular multi-chapter: I don’t post a lot of chaptered fic, but my favorite, and the most popular both by hits and kudos, is “The Scourge of Trion,” a novel-length Doctor Who story featuring the Fifth Doctor’s companion Turlough (and also Ten, Five, Eight, Sarah Jane, Martha, Jack, and some cameos and surprises). It’s ten years old and has been jossed on every front, but I’m still very proud of it.

Favourite story I’ve written so far: I’m terrible at picking favorites--and if I were to pick a top ten, the ones listed above would all be in it. But I think if I were to pick one story that best sums up me as a writer, it might be “Need to Know,” a crossover about Jack Harkness seducing Naraht, the Horta ensign from Diane Duane’s Star Trek novels, and featuring a lot of silicon-based gastronomy, temporal espionage, and curling.

Fic you were nervous to post: All of them? Who are you people out here posting fic without getting nervous, and how does that work?

How do you choose your titles: With extreme difficulty. I really envy people who can write good titles; mine are almost all very boring.

Do you outline: I do. My outline is usually a separate, combined outline and notes document where I write a precis of the story in a different tense or voice than the one the story is in. I chuck research findings and links and brainstorming into the relevant sections, and as I tick things off in the draft I usually shrink or grey out the font on those sections of the outline. I don’t usually start dividing the outline into scenes until I’m a good way into the actual draft and need to figure out which things I haven’t covered and still need to. But the “outline” itself is extremely vague and leaves a lot of room for discovery.

Complete: Everything. I have never posted an unfinished work and I can barely conceive of the chutzpah it would take to do so. Seriously how the fuck does that work--I’m a pretty linear writer, but even so, how do you know you’re not going to have an idea in chapter 20 that you have to go back and seed in chapter 2?

(That said, the novel-length Les Mis fic I have in progress is so long that, though I still can’t see myself posting chapter by chapter, I almost certainly will post the five parts as they’re complete. If they are ever complete.)

In progress: Right now, just the two Les Mis fics. The as-yet-untitled sequel to “A Place to Lie Down” is probably going to come in somewhere between 20K and 30K words--it’s at about 12K now. It’s gen, mostly, Combeferre POV and covering the week after the Trois Glorieuses.

And the novel-length one is...hoo boy. The draft of Part 1 is over 56K words, with two chapters still needing to be interpolated and the whole first half needing revisions that will probably add another 5-10K words. It is probably going to be around 75K by the time it’s done. (That is 75K before we get to meet Valjean! THREE TIMES AS LONG as it takes HUGO to introduce him in the Brick! It is a Valjean/Javert slow burn in the way that the Centralia fire is a slow burn.) And that’s Part 1 of 5. Part 3 is probably going to be shorter, but the whole thing, if I ever finish it, is probably going to run about 350K.

Coming soon/not yet started: My Yuletide fic, lol. I need to set everything else aside and work on that, like, now.

Prompts: I like them? I’ve written some good things to them? I love exchange fests--this Yuletide will be my seventeenth, which is terrifying. I have done it every year except the first one.

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: So. The one that I’m most convinced will be good is the "A Place to Lie Down” sequel, which I am definitely looking forward to finishing and posting. But the one I’m most excited about is the enormous novel--everyone I’ve talked to about it has called it my Time Agents AU, but it is actually canon-compliant! Everyone who is dead in canon still dies; it’s just that some of them are subsequently revived by the Time Agency, given training and a lot of therapy, and sent on deep-cover temporal ops. It has Hitchcock chase scenes, a black box macguffin, ontological casualty reports, art forgery, movie night in the secret subterranean base, cyborg Antonie Lavoisier, the Chevalier Saint-George, ivory-billed woodpeckers, an extended Canadian shack interlude, the mid-Lent crowning of the Queen of Laundresses, one slow burn romance, one intermittent dumpster fire romance, and a Latin pun about chickens in Part 5 that is honestly half of my motivation for getting to the ending. No-pressure tagging @white-throated-packrat, @petralemaitre, @dsudis, and @nonasuch (and anyone else who’d like to run with it).

[mashkaroom]

This isn’t related to anything, but frozen 2 was actually...pretty good of a movie, and you can literally see the disney profit model holding it back. firstly, the music was really good -- i was really impressed with the writing team and with the vocal performances, especially by idina menzel. the songs that didn’t make it in because the plot was rearranged were also excellent. wrt to the visuals, i’m not the biggest fan of this specific animation style, but it’s clear it’s very well done -- i’ve no choice but to be impressed. the plot was whatever (also they fully put a couple of trolls in charge of the kindom for a bit -- is there no fucking line of succession in this goddamn kingdom?? maybe the plot of the movie should have been establishing a functional bureaucracy) and they really yada-yada-ed the magic system, which was basically of the central conceit of the movie so...why did they not put more effort into it? the explanation, such as it was, of the magic system was both confusing and ultimately pretty meaningless -- it added next to nothing of value to the lore or theme or worldbuilding. the themes were clearly meant for a more mature audience (which is i guess what you get for waiting 7 years to make a sequel [which btw just wrenched out a memory out of me that frozen 1 came up literally constantly in my 7th grade latin class -- i cannot emphasize enough how bizarre of an experience learning a dead language throughout the entirety of your teenage years along with 400 more of your cohort is]) -- but anyway, they establish all these themes and then don’t commit to them. Like, the central plot conflict of the movie is literally colonialism lmao. it’s such a strange place to discuss it. My suspicion is that they decided right away to go with a “connecting with mother” storyline, since the “women in the same family connecting with each other” bit worked so well in the first movie; then they were like “is this too basic?” and decided that they should wrap that into a “reckoning with ancestry” thread to cash into that “young leftist with white guilt” market. Then they had somebody on the writing staff who was like “what if we made this about colonialism?” So re: those elements, first of all the mother plotline is boring as shit. Like it doesn’t ring true even to losing a loved one early, but it especially rings soooo hollow wrt the actual relationship that is portrayed in the first movie between elsa and her parents. like we see the parents be so misguided it borders on abusive. and that’s a really interesting dynamic, story-wise, bc the parents are dead and can’t redeem themselves but the baggage they left behind is still there, so the burden of processing that falls exclusively on the daughters. i dare say this is something probably relatable to many of us, bc it’s my sense that most people grow up with pretty misguided parents! (lowkey i feel like the best parenting i’ve seen in my circle are parents who basically went off of vibes rather than idk a philosophy or whatever) i actually would have loved to see a children’s movie address dealing with parents in a nuanced way that isn’t just “one of us is right and the other is wrong” but rather addresses what responsibilities parents and children have to each other, how to navigate intent versus effect, what the value (or lack thereof) of forgiveness is, how to uncover your identity when your entire life was shaped by societal and parental expectations, etc. And the Frozen premise is ideally suited for this! Moreover, a lot of these beats actually DO happen in the movie! Into the unknown is basically elsa trying and failing to convince herself that she wants the life she has and any thoughts to the contrary should be dismissed (and it’s gay as hell, but we’ll get to that later). The climax of show yourself literally says that it was the truth about herself rather than her mother that will bring her peace. But all of these beats are facilitated supernaturally rather than by the very fitting preexisting character background, which makes it lack the satisfaction you’d expect in such a resolution. it never features any reckoning with what made her feel the way she did in the first place -- a projection of the mother’s face singing the climactic realization literally undercuts the entire plotline. like here you can see how basically being propaganda for the american lifestyle (in this case the nuclear family e.g.) undercuts their message. this predictably only gets more egregious when they attempt to tackle colonialism. so quick summary of this plotline: anna and elsa’s grandfather basically genocided an indigenous people -- the northuldra -- after tricking them into building a dam that stifles the power of the forest or something. also their mother was actually northuldra. also magic comes from the northuldra forest? it would probably be pretty problematic re: the magical native stereotype if it was clearer what was going on lmao. at the end, anna breaks the dam even though it’ll flood Arendelle; however, elsa (who was literally frozen because of the sins of the past) swoops in at the last moment and freezes the wave so it causes no damage. However, in an earlier version of the story, the wave actually DOES destroy Arendelle and then they rebuild it with a mix of Arendellian and Northuldran architectural styles. this version actually proposed a genuine vision for how to deal with the impacts of colonialism instead of the final movie where sisterly love absolves everyone of consequences. 

ok, so about the gay: i know people read a coming out into let it go, and maybe this is just cause i watched frozen 1 when i was still straight, but i didn’t really see it. but the lyrics in frozen 2 elsa’s songs match up so well with the coming out experience, i have difficulty imagining the song-writers weren’t aware of it, especially since people were already calling for elsa to be gay. Like let’s take a look at these songs -- into the unknown first. She sings

“Everyone I've ever loved is here within these walls I'm sorry, secret siren, but I'm blocking out your calls I've had my adventure, I don't need something new I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you”

This idea of having being afraid of ruining relationships even (and especially) with the people you love most by coming out is something that a lot of queer people can relate to. Then she sings:

“Are you here to distract me so I make a big mistake? Or are you someone out there who's a little bit like me? Who knows deep down I'm not where I'm meant to be? Every day's a little harder as I feel your power grow Don't you know there's part of me that longs to go”

How much do i need to explain this? (like all my 7 followers are some form of queer anyway lol) But again this battle of trying to hide but knowing deep down that you can’t, longing for “someone a little bit like me” --  it’s classic queer. Then she sings a bridge-type thing:

“Are you out there? Do you know me? Can you feel me? Can you show me?”

I mean, again, what is this but longing for community. Then in the climactic song “show yourself”, she sings this:

“Something is familiar Like a dream, I can reach but not quite hold I can sense you there Like a friend I've always known”

this is literally just about reading stone butch blues.

The climactic lyric is  “You are the one you've been waiting for all your life” (sung to her rather than by her) and i mean again, this is about finally giving yourself permission to live as your true self. And not gonna lie, i dug that shit. it felt quite authentic. obviously they didn’t actually make her gay, bc of course, but she is gay in my heart!

Ok, so what would have made the movie live up to its full potential?

1) fixing that stuff i already said about the parents; it felt like such bs that anna and elsa were dealing with ancestral sins but also their parents were saints whose love fixed everything? how much more interesting would it have been if reckoning with their parents’ impacts on them led them to reckoning with the impacts of their entire ancestry and in turn their society? if reckoning with their personal responsibilities to each other led them to consider their society’s responsibility to fix the past wrongs that allowed it to flourish? this wouldn’t even be counter to disney’s individualism, but it allows for a slight reconceptualization of it that i think would feel fresh.

2) having actual consequences for the colonialism and genocide

3) either cutting all the new magic system stuff or developing it in a way that in turn helps develop the themes. frankly, the “sometimes people are born with magic” that was implied in movie one was enough.

4) making elsa gay, and i say this not just because i want gay characters but because that genuinely makes sense within the story

5) basically, the central theme should have been “i have all this baggage and i can’t resolve it by looking for answers only within my society; in order to be fully at peace with myself, i must work to right the wrongs of my society that obscured the different ways of knowledge that could help people like me; sometimes you must go into the unknown in order to understand the known” which is a message i think very well suited for the united states!

[iliveiloveiwrite]

Hey Millie, congrats again :D It's Sunday, you know what that means? Cake-time :D So as your celebration, could I please ask for 💛 - because I need me some love, also 🍎 - If you were in an alternate universe and you had to chose between Draco Malfoy and your books, which one would you chose and why? 😘 - FMK: Draco, Blaise, Cedric ⚓️ - Both era if you could, Male, Gryffindor, DADA and Charms, Quidditch and aurors and also Fluff please! Congrats, hun again.

Hey Gina! Thank you! My cake did come!! They got me a sticky toffee cake covered in fudge pieces, it looks and smells amazing and I’m just waiting to stick a fork in it! Your answers are below the cut, my dear!

OHHHHH I AM SO READY TO GIVE YOU ALL THE LOVE! 

Firstly, let me begin by talking about how much I appreciate you. I don’t talk to very many people on here so I took a chance when I joined the discord chat and I’m so happy I did because I got to speak to you and you’re so so lovely and helpful especially if I have trouble with my tenses and you’re so supportive of my chapter for Journey to Hogwarts so thank you!

Secondly - you are so bloody talented. SO BLOODY TALENTED. Your fics are always wonderful to read and thanks to you, I'm harbouring a crush on Oliver Wood which I didn't think would happen but here we are. You manage to capture characters so well and I know I always hark on about your angst BUT GINA YOU WRITE IT SO WELL! 

Thirdly, I just love the vibes your blog gives off. It’s so organised; your masterlist is a dream!! 

All in all Gina, I am just very thankful to have you in my life. 

******

omg that is such a hard question bc everyone knows how much I love Draco - my own mother calls him ‘that little blonde boy’ but everyone knows how much I love my books... but I’m gonna have to pick Draco (no surprise really) for the fact that I can get him to write the books and I could have him all to myself and set up the proper redemption arc!

*****

Fuck - Cedric - man I've killed him once, but I'm still curious ;)

Marry - Draco - ALWAYS BBY I LOVE YOU

Kill - Blaise - if anyone needs me I'm going into hiding 

********

MARAUDERS ERA:

Sirius Black: (I know how much you love Ben Barnes)

You run your hand through your hair in frustration; it didn't matter how many times you read aloud the incantation, it simply wasn’t working. 

You glare at the spell book that’s settled on the lectern, internally cursing each one of its pages. 

You’re close to tears at this point, thinking of how much time you had spent on this one spell. Repeating it over and over again, following the wand movement as directed in the book. You bite your lip, blinking the tears away, deciding firmly that you would not let this spell get the better of you.

Taking a deep breath, you repeat the incantation - letting the latin roll off your tongue. At the same time, you swish your wand in the direction shown.

Nothing happens. 

You scream out of anger; glaring at the book. 

A cough sounding from behind has you turning around with your wand at the ready. You relax when you see it’s Sirius leaning against the doorframe.

His smile turns into a frown when he sees your harried expression, “What’s wrong?”

Your lips begins to wobble; feeling slightly foolish that you had let a spell get the better of you, “It’s this one spell - doesn't matter what I do, I just can’t do it.”

Sirius rushes to your side, pulling you in for a needed hug. You hold onto his white shirt tightly; inhaling the smell that had become so familiar to you over the last year - cloves, myrrh and tobacco. 

Sirius hands rub comforting patterns on your back and you feel the tension leech from your body. “Is that better?” He asks. 

You nod, pulling away from him. He doesn't let you step very far, folding your hand into his. “I’m still worried about not having this spell down though; exams are in a few weeks.”

“Why don’t I help?”

“You will?”

He nods, “What sort of boyfriend would I be if I didn't help my girlfriend in her time of need?”

You laugh lightly before proceeding to explain the difficulties you were having. The rest of evening is spent with Sirius being a warm presence behind you as he holds onto your wand arm, directing the movements with his own. You lean back into his chest, any and all worries having faded to nothing.

LIGHTNING ERA:

Oliver Wood:

“Babe! Did you see that?”

You grin at Oliver, unable to ignore the excitement in his voice, “I did, I’m stood right next to you, love.”

He claps his hands, “The Wronski Feint! So early into the game as well!”

He leans over to you, quickly pressing a kiss to your cheek, “Thank you for this, love.”

You chuckle, “My pleasure.”

You had surprised him with tickets to the Quidditch World Cup two weeks ago. Oliver had promptly began to lose his mind; he had tried for hours to get tickets but was unsuccessful and now you had surprised him with tickets. Once he had finished his celebrating, he drew you to him for a long kiss that may have finished in the bedroom. 

There was no denying Oliver’s love for Quidditch. He had been the most passionate captain the Gryffindor team had seen in decades; pushing the team to victory multiple times over his school career - a fact he was still very proud of, thank you very much. 

However, he did love you just as much as he loved Quidditch. You had met him at a Puddlemere United match where a rogue bludger had made its way into the crowd, knocking out a few fans on its way. Oliver had noticed you in the crowd, luckily out of the way for the bludger, and had come up to speak to you after the match. His excuse being to check in on you and your welfare. 

Oliver had asked you on a date by the end of the conversation. 

You had said yes not a moment later. 

You’re pulled from your reminiscing by Oliver shouting again; his hands on his head as he takes in the defeat of his favourite team. He’s entirely crushed; had such high hopes but the opposing teams’ seeker was just too good. 

“Don’t worry, babe. There’s always next time.”

“I suppose,” he says, sulking. 

You bite your lip to keep the smile from growing, “How about this? We head home, have some food and then we can go outside and you can show me how you would have made that final play.”

Oliver noticeably perks up, “You’d do that?”

You nod, “You’ve been wanting to tell me since we left the stadium, haven't you?”

He grins, blushing, “You know me too well.”

“As I should,” You say, hooking your arm through his, “Now, tell me how you would have done it.”

[dailyexo]

[INTERVIEW] Lay - 201216 Don’t Bore Us: “M-Pop star Lay Zhang tells us about his music, dreams, and starting his own company”

"Chinese Megastar Lay Zhang wants to bring ‘China to the world’ with his music. He talks to Don’t Bore Us about how he plans to achieve his dreams.

For most of us, our dreams are conditional. For us, they remain in the abstract most of the time, attached to phrases like ‘It would be good if…’ or ‘I wish I…’. Not for Lay Zhang. Lay Zhang speaks in dreams. In his mind, he picks them out of the abstract and parks them on the road to his goals. Then, he sets into motion a cause and effect cycle, where each step leads to the realization of that dream.

“The word dream is a strange one,” he wrote in his autobiography Standing Firm at 24. “You start with a dream, but you have to fulfill everything in reality. Of course, it’s not really that you’re dreaming, because someone once told me, a dream is actually what a person’s heart looks like.”

Despite his status as one of China’s most famous stars, it’s this spirit that still is the condensation of Zhang’s ethos as an artist. Born in Changsha in the Chinese province of Hunan as Zhang Yixing, he was no stranger to the world of entertainment as a child star. In 2008, he auditioned for trainee-ship at SM Entertainment, largely considered the progenitor of modern-day K-pop, and passed. Four years later, he debuted as EXO’s Lay, an act that turned the tide for K-pop in the 2010s.

Home, however, was never very far away — after flitting between South Korea and China for work for sometime, the lengthy schedules eventually made him shift base to mainland China, laying the groundwork for Lay Zhang. His first studio album, Lay 02 Sheep, broke five records on the first day of digital release on the Chinese music service QQ Music. His second, NAMANANA, ranked No. 21 on the Billboard 200 chart, making him the highest-ranking M-pop artist on the chart to date.

It’s an ideal trajectory for anyone with dreams as big as Zhang: every new release came with new records and renown. Eventually, however, Zhang realized what his work was missing: a piece of his roots. He wanted to show the world “what China is really about.”

And so he said: “Let there be LIT.”

Named after a play on the Chinese word for lotus, ‘lián huā’, LIT — released in two parts over the course of 2020 — puts Zhang’s Chinese identity at its core. As he weaves the sounds of the Hulusi, Guzheng and Gong together with hip-hop, R&B, and Latin, Zhang not only creates his own genre (which he calls “mixed Mando-pop”), but also nurtures a new dream: one where Mando-pop frees itself of the labels of being “vapid” and “vain” and presents new avenues of experimentation and cultural triumph.

“In the future, mixed will be king. Every work, every genre can be mixed with each other; every language can mix with another. That’s where we go.” he says.

The way to this “mixed” world might be long, but Zhang will soon have company on the way. Earlier in 2020, he announced the establishing of his own company, Chromosome Entertainment, with a set focus to not only train the next generation of Chinese idols, but also to include Chinese culture and history as an integral part of their artistry.

DBU caught up with Lay Zhang to talk about Chromosome Entertainment, his music, how he is going to take his company to ‘infinity’, and his adorable cats.

Don’t Bore Us: Why did you think this was the right time to start your own company?

Lay Zhang: I have always wanted to have my own company and leave my mark in the world. I feel I need to think less and do more. I wanted to do it no matter how difficult it would be. If I kept waiting for the right moment, I might never do it. So, I created the Chromosome Entertainment Group.

DBU: Is there anything that you’ll focus on teaching the trainees that you yourself didn’t get during your trainee years?

Lay Zhang: Our trainees will learn more and more about Chinese culture and Chinese history.

DBU: Speaking of your music over the past year, we have to talk about LIT. We saw you expand into genres that you had never experimented with before. While Part 1 was a mix of traditional Chinese sounds, Part 2 had more modern inspirations such as R&B, Hip-hop, Latin, and others. Which of these sounds comes more naturally to you, and which one is more difficult to explore?

Lay Zhang: I just tried a lot of genres. Since I was young, I have been singing in Chinese and listening to pop music, so I find writing R&B is easier, since it is similar. With traditional Chinese music, it feels like second nature, since I grew up with it.

Latin and Hip-hop is very new to me, but Latin caught my ear because it’s easy to dance to. I’ve been listening to hip-hop and trap in the past few years. I think no matter what kind, I want to do a new genre. I want to call it M-pop because I think in the future, mixed will be king. Every work, every genre can be mixed with each other — every language can mix with each other, and that’s where we go.

DBU: Speaking of the incorporation of your native Chinese sounds into the songs on the first album, what is the most difficult part while looking for a middle-ground between culture and modernity?

Lay Zhang: You always want to respect the culture. We owe a lot to the past for giving us today: I cannot stress that enough. I understand that people have new tastes each year, so you want to make sure that you match the energy and the vibe of the year.

It’s hard to explain how I find the balance. I ask my friends and collaborators, what they feel. I took that into consideration [with LIT], and checked my gut feeling. Did I feel [like] it mixed my Chinese sound with the present or modern without losing it? It’s [a] feeling I get after listening to the record time after time in my car or in the studio.

DBU: With reference to bringing “China to the world”. How do you think LIT did that, apart from, of course, being a mash-up of different influences?

Lay Zhang: I think this album is the first of its kind in a way. It’s very unique: we brought together new and legendary producers to create beautiful music. We had traditional and modern day stories to showcase the idea of the past and the present, to show the world that Chinese artists can be creative. They can think more deeply about music. I want people to know that we are improving everyday. We are working hard. This is what LIT shows.

DBU: Historically, western audiences have thought of Mando-pop as being “very vain or bland.” You have always wanted to push forward Mixed Mando-pop through your work. How do you hope to change this perception of Mando-pop globally through your music?

Lay Zhang: It is a work in progress. We are still improving and developing M-pop. Since I was a child, I have always had big goals and dreams. I want to show the world what China is really about, that we are respectful people trying to better ourselves.

DBU: Your current approach to your work makes me curious. The words “one of China’s biggest celebrities” are often used in your context. With the fan-base and work you’ve built over the years, you could very well have taken the safer route and stuck to the previous sounds you have experimented with before, because anything you make is guaranteed to be a hit. So why is it important for you to keep making the kind of music you do, in the way you make it?

Lay Zhang: I want to challenge myself and see what I can do. I admit, I don’t always succeed, but I’d rather try different genres and sing in different languages to see what I am capable of. Like any artist, I want my music to reach more people, so you have to branch out and try new things, but at the same time, not lose who you are. I have great fans that support me and allow me to dream bigger. I want to pave the path for the next generation to share their music with the world.

DBU: You’ve worked both in South Korea and China. With K-pop having a moment in the global spotlight, what are some things that you feel M-pop could learn or borrow from K-pop?

Lay Zhang: I think it’s great that K-pop is having its moment. In M-pop, we need to put ourselves out there more. We need to meet fans in every city and town to create that one-on-one interaction. I think there are enough artists with quality music to match the artists in K-pop: we just need to focus on sharing Mando-pop.

DBU: For the past few years, you have been heavily involved in music reality shows geared towards bringing out China’s next musical stars. There was Idol Producer, Youth With You, Street Dance of China: what are your hopes from the next generation, and why this interest?

Lay Zhang: The next generation inspires me. Their dreams and efforts inspire me to work harder and be a good role model. I hope they can focus on creating great art and work that they can be proud of. Their work should speak for itself. If everyone can do this, they can do this. If everyone can do this, we can push the boundaries of music and art. We can create works that leave people in awe.

DBU: In the larger context of your artistry, what impact has this year had on you personally?

Lay Zhang: COVID-19 slowed my life down like everyone else. We have all experienced difficulties, but I was able to think about my music and career more clearly. I decided that I should go after the things I want as soon as I could. For my artistry, I realized I needed to focus on music I made, my company, and make music that really carried the culture and vibe of my country.

DBU: Observing your trajectory from when you just started out to now, I was thinking about how it is very clear where your professional priorities lie. What about personal ones? What are you focusing on personally in the coming year?

Lay Zhang: I think about this a lot, and it’s hard to separate my work and personal life. But I think I only have that much time before I run out of energy. I am always thirsty (laughs), so I know I won’t be able to continue this forever. I want to keep pushing until I can’t. So, then I can focus on my personal life knowing I gave it all to my career.

DBU: I asked some fans if they had anything to say to you, and most of them wanted me to relay the same thing: please take a well-deserved break! Now that LIT has had its successful run, is it time for a vacation, or is there more to come?

Lay Zhang: My cats give me a lot of confidence and happiness. They make it easier to face each day; it’s nice to know you have someone waiting for you at home. But I will take a vacation when I turn 40 (laughs). Of course, there is more to come: the trainees we are receiving are so talented. I am excited to create something that will hopefully last a long time, and will improve and uphold the entertainment industry in China."

Credit: Don't Bore Us.

[twilight-adamo]

Author’s Notes: Brave New World, Chapter 6: Wake the Dead

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19709434/chapters/49726988

The part of the story dealing with the investigation into Alice’s past was meant to fit within one chapter. It ended up being three, because woman plans and the goddess laughs. I don’t regret it, though - I think it allowed me to cover a lot of territory that may become important later. Some of it came as a complete surprise to me; I would hit this point or that in the chapter, and I would have a plan for what came next, and then suddenly some part of my mind would go “oh, no, it’s this” and, well, what could I do but write it?

The history of Alice’s childhood home after her mother was murdered and the family left was inspired somewhat by the LaLaurie Mansion, which I namechecked in the chapter (though, whoops, I got the capitalization wrong). Nicolas Cage, the actor, did in fact own the mansion for a few years, and lost it to foreclosure when he ran into financial difficulties. He ended up suing his business manager, who countersued and claimed Cage had made a number of frivolous purchases against his advice. It’s widely believed (and may be fact) that Cage takes so many film roles today because he’s still paying off his debts.

During Cage’s ownership of the house, he did put a sign up on the LaLaurie Mansion (or it’s generally believed he was the one, at least), and it’s pretty much the sign I describe outside the Brandon house. The LaLaurie Mansion has an extraordinarily dark history - look up Delphine LaLaurie if you can stomach it; we are talking about a woman whose cruelty toward the people she had enslaved was so outrageous that other slaveholders condemned her and she was hounded out of town. Her story has been embellished over the years, and distorted by pop culture (American Horror Story, for instance, featured her as a recurring character played by Kathy Bates, and added elements of Elizabeth Bathory to her story), but she was certainly an extraordinarily horrible person. The mansion that stands today is not the original, which was burned down in the 1834, but it is still said to be profoundly haunted. A financial corporation holds it today. I’m not sure who, if anyone, it’s being held for.

I felt quite strongly as I started this chapter that Alice needed some time to herself. The little part of my brain that speaks for her had made it quite clear she was emotionally exhausted and inclined to withdraw. Naturally this leaves Bella worried half out of her mind, providing me with an opportunity to show Rose and Emmett looking after her. A few readers have told me that Rosalie and Bella’s relationship - the close friendship they’ve turned into sisterhood - is one of their favorite parts of the story; I suppose this makes it obvious it’s one of mine, too. But I don’t think it’s just Rosalie who cares for Bella so deeply; it’s Emmett, too. I tend to be a serious introvert in real life, and nervous about getting too close to others, especially physically. It’s probably left me rather touch-starved. But I do think touch is important, not just between lovers but between friends and family, and physical comfort can do more than words ever could.

I keep saying Bella isn’t me, that I’m making a deliberate effort as the story grows stranger to divorce her from the self-parody she originally was, and then I keep bringing in stories from my own life. Yes, it’s true: in my second year of college, I lived in a haunted women’s dorm, and the broad strokes of the haunting are largely as I describe. I left out some of the more specific details; it probably wouldn’t be hard for you to figure out where I went to college if you really wanted, but I didn’t want to spell it out. My first night there, I did in fact have strange, restless dreams that I interpreted as the ghost trying to figure out what to make of me. I did indeed mix herbs into water as part of a ritual and choked the mixture down, and I was left in peace after that. It was quite disgusting, frankly, but it does make a good story.

The dream was one of those surprises I’d mentioned. Frankly, a lot of stuff has just returned to Bella far earlier than I had planned. More than that, I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to bring any kind of religion into it, but I found Bella’s spirit calling out and something answering and, well, here we are.

My personal beliefs are quite private. I’m willing to discuss them, to a point; I am completely uninterested in converting anyone to my way of thinking, and there are some elements too sacred to me to disclose. In broad strokes, the faith Bella describes agrees with my own. I do hold as a central tenet that the divine is infinite and beyond the comprehension of our finite minds. I do believe that the names by which we call the divine, the roads we travel to reach whatever understanding we can find, lead ultimately to the same place - and yet those names, the gods we cry out to, the commandments we follow, the stories we hold close to our hearts, all have a reality of their own. I do in fact worship seven goddesses whom I view as aspects of one goddess, and the titles and roles described roughly correspond to my faith. I would not invoke them in the way Bella does. I would not see them as she sees them. And if I ever do give them names in the story, they won’t be the names I call them by.

But yes: once again I’ve gotten deeply personal. Writing this story sometimes feels like writing an operator’s manual to my soul. Perhaps I keep turning back to these personal details, despite my best efforts to separate Bella from myself, because it all comes easier when I pour my heart and soul into the work. Even if that means I must submit to the horrifying ordeal of being known.

Does Bella have access to magic again, after that dream? I don’t think so - at least, I don’t think she could do magic on her own. She can help Rosalie, and presumably other witches; she can call out to her deities in prayer, but I’ve never viewed that as inherently magical. But her perceptions have broadened, just a bit, and sensation begins to return. She can feel the things she has been numb to, and see the light and color of spellwork.

Will she remember more of her old life? Not on her own, I think. I hadn’t really intended for her to recover any memories at all, and arguably she only recovered what she did due to divine intervention. Part of my long-term purpose in expanding Alice’s visions so she could look back on the past as well of the future was a vague notion that she could use this ability to help Callie and Bella work through their lingering questions about their personal history, and I certainly have further developments in mind. But I don’t see Bella becoming entirely who she once was. That person is part of who she has become, but otherwise lost.

Then again, I suppose I’ve allowed her to find other things I would once have called lost, so perhaps I can’t really say for certain until the whole of the work is done.

I really wanted to bring Leah into the phone conversation somehow - I do want more of her in this story, and an increasing number of these first chapters are focused on the BEAR world tour, meaning we don’t get much time with the folks back home. I just couldn’t see my way clear to it. This felt like a conversation between Bella and Callie and no one else.

We’re seeing some cracks in their friendship here, as Bella begins to understand that Callie is still holding back. There are likely more disagreements to come, and both Callie and Rosalie are growing more vocal about their mutual dislike for one another, which can’t make things any easier. I think things will be all right in the end, but if you’re getting the feeling the road ahead is a rocky one, I can’t say I disagree.

Six Flags New Orleans was still open during our heroes’ visit to New Orleans. A month later, at the end of August 2005, Hurricane Katrina wreaked havoc on the park, and it never reopened. Six Flags removed much of the infrastructure that once stood there (including some things that the city of New Orleans alleges they had no right to take), and though various development proposals have emerged over the years, none of them have led to the park reopening in any form. It stands abandoned, and though some urban explorers have gotten in, access is strictly forbidden.

I wanted to linger over dinner, but I couldn’t think of anything more to add, and I was eager, at long last, to get to the main event. So I wasted little time getting the gang to St. Charles Avenue, and into the old house, and then of course Luciana appears almost at once, as soon as Alice has gotten a good look at her past.

I think Alice saw more than she said directly in this chapter, and she’ll have more to say about what she saw as time goes on. It just wouldn’t all fit in this scene. Everything happened so quickly that I had to struggle to keep to what was immediately relevant. And honestly, I think we were all here for that last conversation between Alice and her mother more than anything.

Luciana is not, of course, La Llorona. That is a much older story that comes from farther south, in Mexico and Latin America. But as she is a weeping woman crying out in Spanish, some of the locals have confused the legends, and I did take some inspiration from the story of La Llorona in describing her behavior. In particular, some legends say that when La Llorona sounds distant, she is actually quite close - and so our heroes hear Luciana crying out distantly, and then, quite suddenly, she’s on top of them.

I had given some thought to Luciana speaking entirely in Spanish, at first - I had always imagined she was bilingual, but Spanish was her first language. Ultimately, I just wasn’t confident enough in my Google-augmented translation skills. I took Latin in school, not Spanish, and not much Latin at that. I can sometimes tell when things are really wrong, but I was worried it would come off as textbook Spanish, stilted and inauthentic, and things were coming so quickly and furiously that...well, it felt like it would take too long to find a fluent speaker willing to help me get the Spanish right. I hated to do it, I hate to say that - if I were preparing this for publication as an original work I would certainly take the time to get someone else’s eyes on the thing - but I’m going on vacation in about a week and a half and I really wanted to conclude this arc before dropping off the grid. All that said, if you’re interested in helping me with foreign languages or beta reading on this story in general, please do drop me a line; I’ve certainly made enough mistakes that I wouldn’t mind getting another pair of eyes on future chapters.

Alice’s family history was one of the first things I came up with for this book, along with the dream about the Volturi that opens the whole thing. Alice’s father was canonically a jeweler and pearl trader. Though I played a bit loose with canon otherwise, I decided to keep this, and had the notion that he married Alice’s mother for her family wealth and most importantly their access to jewels, pearls, and precious medals. When he suffered some reversal in fortune connected to her family, I figured - perhaps the mines drying up, or as I ended up describing, Luciana’s father dying and not leaving her what George saw as his due - he would become willing to throw her over for another woman, and more, to arrange Luciana’s death. The final details only came together as I was writing this chapter and the last.

Alice’s final conversation with her mother still feels short. To some extent, it’s meant to be. Once Luciana’s soul was fully restored, once she had some chance to find peace, I couldn’t see her lingering long upon the threshold between the living world and the next. I hope I got the important things down - above all else, that Alice now knows she had a mother who loved her, who loves her still and will be watching over her.

It’s not the end of Alice’s journey. But it is more or less the end of the gang’s time in New Orleans. Boston comes next, and then Ireland, and all the things that follow on from that. As I said, I’m going on vacation - I’m not sure whether I’ll get another chapter before I leave, and I have obligations to fulfill before the year is out. I hope, if there is a delay, that you all find this a decent stopping point.

Thanks, as always, for reading.

[imagitory]

D-Views: The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Bonjour, mes amies! Welcome, bienvenue, to another installment of D-Views, my written review series for films produced or inspired by the Walt Disney company! For more reviews for films like Enchanted, Star Wars Episode III, and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, feel free to consult my “Disney reviews” tag, and please, if you enjoy this review or any of the others, please consider liking and reblogging! I look forward to writing more of these in the future for films like Wreck-It Ralph and Halloweentown, as well as Non-Disney films like Charlotte’s Web.

I recently put out a poll suggesting three Disney Renaissance films for possible review subjects, and although The Little Mermaid won that poll, this film ended up not far behind. (Thank you, @schifty-al and @mygeekcorner for your votes!) It’s one of my personal favorite Disney films of all time...The Hunchback of Notre Dame!

Victor Hugo’s classic novel Notre Dame du Paris, called The Hunchback of Notre Dame in English, seems like a very odd inspiration for a Disney animated family film, and that’s because...yeah, it is! When the Disney animators first brought Hunchback to the table, they were less inspired by the original Hugo novel glamorizing the architecture of Notre Dame cathedral, and more inspired by a graphic novel adaptation of the story, which was likewise much more influenced by the 1939 Hollywood film adaptation. Because of the historical context that 1939 adaptation was made in (premiering at Cannes during the rise of the Third Reich), themes of social justice were added to a story that originally was about how the “edifice” can outlast the flaws and sins of mankind. The “social justice” element is something that Hugo interestingly put more in his follow-up to Notre Dame du Paris, the epic brick book Les Miserables, but has since been similarly tied in the public consciousness to The Hunchback of Notre Dame, despite not existing in the original book.

The project was already an odd choice for Disney to take on thanks to the darkness of the book, but the political themes also were unique for a Disney picture as well. It clearly was a more “adult” endeavor, even though thanks to the success of previous projects like Aladdin and The Lion King, there were studio mandates demanding more comic relief, and even the marketing team was reluctant to advertise Hunchback as anything other than a family film. Rather than showing the artistry and darker scenes, the marketing almost entirely focused on the Feast of Fools and the gargoyles, highlighting the “Ugly Duckling” aspect added to the story and downplaying the more adult themes. In the end, it’s likely thanks to those poor marketing choices and the inconsistent tone of the picture that this movie failed to find its audience on first run. It only earned $21 million worldwide, compared to Pocahontas’s $29 million and The Little Mermaid’s $84 million, with mixed critical and audience reaction. Although it was nominated for an Academy Award for its music and won several others, it was noticeably less successful than other installments in the Disney Renaissance, and even now, Disney often doesn’t give Hunchback that much attention. Like Quasimodo, the film has been sort of locked up in its own tower...but now, today, I aim to bring The Hunchback of Notre Dame out of the shadows and give it the appreciation it deserves.

Our film begins in complete darkness, accompanied by resounding church bells and the amazing vocalizations of the English Opera Company, and from the very beginning, I’m just enveloped by the embrace of Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz’s unbelievable score. Choral music in general has always been something special in my family. My mum and dad were in choirs a lot of their lives: they even first met when they joined the San Diego Master Chorale in the 80′s. Choral music remains one of my mother’s greatest loves and passions, and when I saw Hunchback, it made the choral music my parents loved so much, which focused around a faith I hadn’t been raised with and didn’t believe in, that bit more accessible to me as a child. Mum, who studied Latin in college, went on to teach me about all of the chants and phrases Menken and Schwartz added to each song so that I could more appropriately sing along. It remains one of those Disney soundtracks that cemented our close bond, and I’ll always treasure being able to see the La Jolla Playhouse production of The Hunchback of Notre Dame with my mum and getting to hear the amazing choir and instruments live.

The Bells of Notre Dame, as an opening number, cannot be matched in how it introduces us all to the story, characters, themes, and tone of the piece. In just a few minutes, the music and lyrics perfectly showcases our setting, the theme of what makes a man, the atmosphere of fear and injustice, our villain, and our hero. Menken and Schwartz previously worked together on Pocahontas, but Hunchback in my opinion easily outstrips their previous collaboration. The use of church bells of all sizes to convey the solemnity, mystery, and grandeur of the cathedral at the center of the proceedings, and the clever use of Latin phrases -- it’s just unbelievable! As one example, in the sequence where Frollo (a judge in this version, as opposed to the Archdeacon) chases Quasimodo’s mother up to the stairs of Notre Dame and she pounds on the door, crying for help, the choir sings “Quantus tremor est futurus quando Judex est venturus,” which means, “What trembling is to be when the Judge comes.” And sure enough, the line comes to a horrible, horrified halt when Judge Frollo snatches the woman’s child away and throws her to the ground.

After one of the most epic musical introductions in a Disney film, we meet our sweet, gentle hero, Quasimodo, voiced by Tom Hulce, who is just such a ray of sunshine. Although I loved hearing Michael Arden as Quasimodo on stage, Tom Hulce will always be my Quasimodo. When I was a teenager, I went through a horrible “hating the world” phase where I only ever saw pain and suffering and felt not only powerless to make anything better, but worthless as well. During that time, I turned my back on a lot of the things that had brought me joy, feeling almost unable to enjoy them anymore. One of the very few exceptions, however, was this movie and especially the character of Quasimodo. When I was at my darkest points, Quasimodo never failed to bring me some light, not because he was particularly funny, but because for all of the misery in his circumstances, he never faltered in being gentle, creative, and kind. Looking back on how I’d been, I wish I’d had just a shred of Quasimodo’s grace back then. I wish I hadn’t allowed myself to fall into despair and resentment. Since I can’t go back, however, I keep Quasimodo in my mind sometimes whenever I’m going through something difficult. He’s kind of become a guardian angel of sorts to me, reminding me that my life is a precious gift and I shouldn’t take anything for granted. And really, I couldn’t do that if not for Tom Hulce and Quasimodo’s supervising animator, James Baxter. I truly am grateful to both of them for giving me a character that even now can be a symbol of everything I wish I could be.

Unfortunately along with Quasimodo, we also meet the gargoyles, Hugo, Victor, and Laverne. As a kid, I actually liked the gargoyles all right, but as an adult...yeah, they really break the mood. Badly. The worst offender is easily Hugo, which is a shame because I like Jason Alexander as a performer, but he just goes way too over-the-top-obnoxious. It would admittedly not be as bad if it were clear that the gargoyles were all in Quasimodo’s head, but Djali sees Hugo come to life at one point and they later help Quasimodo fight off the guards. I greatly prefer the way the gargoyles are handled in the stage production, where all of the saintly statues have their own voices that nonetheless reflect what Quasimodo is thinking and when Quasimodo hits his lowest point before Esmeralda’s execution, he forcefully banishes them out of his head.

Even though the comic relief is handled poorly, I certainly cannot say the same for the villain. Judge Claude Frollo is easily one of the most evil villains in Disney history. Tony Jay’s vocal performance is just chillingly resonant, commanding your attention and making you subconsciously shrink in on yourself whenever he speaks. It makes for a despicable, cold, cruel man -- the antithesis of a father, the true embodiment of a monster. Frollo is often compared to Mother Gothel from Tangled in how they both lie to, control, and emotionally abuse their charges (Quasimodo and Rapunzel, respectively), but I personally find Frollo so much worse than Gothel, because he not only cuts Quasimodo off from everyone, but he indoctrinates a gentle, kind soul like Quasimodo in his racism and intolerance against those different from him -- including Quasimodo’s own people, the Romani. Mother Gothel hoards Rapunzel away like a dragon hoarding treasure -- Frollo treats Quasimodo like a burden, beating into him that no one else would want him and that Frollo was such a “good man” to take him in. It’s just vile.

And now we come to my single favorite Disney song of all time -- Quasimodo’s aria, Out There. From the time I was little, this song spoke to me like few others did. Growing up, I was an only child with a huge imagination surrounded almost entirely by adults and who had a lot of difficulty relating to kids my age. I often liked being on my own, but it didn’t change how I often felt different and detached from the people around me, and as I got older, that feeling only increased. I moved a lot in my childhood, making it difficult for me to plant roots, and I rarely followed trends or popular norms, so I constantly stayed in the fringes of the crowd, enviously looking on at those who could fit in more easily than I could. I always tried to hide my insecurities, but they were still there, and when those insecurities took hold, I would often imagine the world being a place where I could be myself, just like Quasi does. Quasimodo’s longing to be “part of them” and lamentation of people being “heedless of the gift it is to be them” has always resonated with me, and even though it’s hard for me to sing Out There without shifting octaves, my heart swells every time I hear it.

The Captain of the Guard, Phoebus, is easily the biggest liberty that Hunchback adaptations have made with the original novel. The book version of Phoebus was more like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast than how he’s portrayed here, but I frankly have no complaints. Kevin Kline is wonderfully dry and witty in the role -- he’s more than a match for Esmeralda, being brave, noble, and sarcastic with seemingly no prejudice for those different from him. And then yeah, as for Esmeralda herself...as Phoebus says later, “what a woman!” Esmeralda was one of my very favorite Disney heroines as a kid, and she still is. The character of Esmeralda is often rather saint-like in her incarnations, but here we see both the “angelic” and “demonic” sides of her -- she’s fiery, but kind; rebellious, yet noble; anti-authority, but patient; distrustful, yet loyal. In the musical adaptation, when Esmeralda is first revealed, we hear Frollo, Phoebus, and Quasimodo sing this about her --

Frollo: She dances like the Devil!

Phoebus: She dances like an angel --

Quasimodo: An angel!

Phoebus: -- but with such fire!

Frollo: Such fire!

All Three: Who is she?

This is Esmeralda’s characterization and her relationship to the three male main characters in a nutshell. Quasimodo only sees the best of Esmeralda; Frollo only sees the worst of her; and Phoebus sees her for everything she is...as a person. And this is why she ultimately chooses Phoebus, unlike in the book where she solely chooses Phoebus because of his looks.

When we reach the Palace of Justice, I’m reminded that I have yet to accent how absolutely stunning every single background is in this movie. Yes, the animation overall is wonderful, whether in the character animation or otherwise, but there are few Disney films that have more atmospheric and beautiful backgrounds than this. It serves to give the movie such a wonderful depth and makes the setting feel that much richer and deeper. Admittedly one weaker aspect of the animation is the now-slightly-outdated CG background characters. They were made by taking a handful of templates and then mixing up their clothes and colors, so as to multiply them ad infinitum and make the crowds of Paris look bigger and more colorful. Even with that, though, you do sort of have to look carefully at the background crowds to notice, as there are lots of hand-drawn characters sprinkled in in front of those CG models that help obscure their repetition and awkwardness. Those CG crowds also make the city of Paris look appropriately overcrowded and huge, so I’m glad that they used the technology even if it was still so in-progress at the time.

Even though Topsy Turvy starts off so fun and festive, however, it soon devolves into a terrible riot where Quasimodo is bound and tormented by the crowd. I admit, the transition is a little abrupt, but it still works for me, as people can be so easily swept away by mob mentality and those in power -- namely, Frollo’s guards -- sometimes flaunt their authority by putting down others. Fortunately Esmeralda is there to save Quasimodo and give Frollo a much-deserved verbal smackdown. The following scene, though, is another example of the mismatched tone, stretching out Esmeralda’s escape with a lot of comic “hijinks” that don’t really add anything to the film and kind of serve as a big time waster, especially after it abruptly cuts off and turns much more solemn and sad as Frollo silently confronts Quasimodo and Quasi returns to Notre Dame in shame.

Hunchback’s focus on religion is, in my opinion, one of the things that made producing an adaptation of Hugo’s novel such a bold decision. I’m not a religious person at all (Agnostic and proud), but it was still really meaningful to me to see both the good and bad associated with religion, represented by the Archdeacon and Frollo respectively. Frollo, along with Pharaoh Seti from The Prince of Egypt, taught me as a kid that evil is not always self-aware and, more importantly, how much more dangerous evil is when it garbs itself in godliness and righteousness. That’s a valuable lesson, regardless of your religious faith. God Help the Outcasts may invoke God’s name, but it could just as easily be a prayer to the world, or even just to you as an individual. The Christian faith preaches that we are made in God’s image...so when Esmeralda asks God to help her people, maybe she’s in truth asking you to try to be the loving God they need.

Something unique about Hunchback is the wonderful friendship that develops between Esmeralda and Quasimodo. From the time I was very little, I made friends with both boys and girls, so it was so wonderfully refreshing to see a story where a girl and a boy became such close friends and supported each other so much. Yes, admittedly, Quasimodo is romantically interested in Esmeralda, but when he sees how much she loves Phoebus, he both accepts their relationship and treasures Esmeralda’s friendship all the same. He doesn’t wallow in bitterness upon Esmeralda not choosing him; he loves her all the same as the first real friend he’s ever had. Esmeralda truly loves Quasimodo and treasures their friendship too -- her choosing Phoebus romantically is never framed as her teasing Quasimodo or leading him on; she simply loves Phoebus and Quasimodo in different ways. And that I find so unbelievably cool. I also like that in Esmeralda’s and Quasimodo’s conversation on the roof, there are some strains of the deleted song Someday in the instrumental accompanying the scene -- you can hear a R&B variation of Someday in the film’s credits, but originally it was meant to replace the more religious God Help the Outcasts, only for God Help the Outcasts to be chosen over it. I agree with the filmmakers’ decision, but I still like Someday too. Quasimodo’s helping Esmeralda and Djali escape Notre Dame by climbing down the towers also beautifully foreshadows Quasimodo’s dexterity in climbing down to save Esmeralda at the end of the film.

Quasimodo and Frollo are both enthralled with Esmeralda, but as mentioned previously, they each only see the angelic and demonic sides of her, which is best encapsulated by the dual numbers Heaven’s Light and Hellfire. Heaven’s Light is appropriately sweet and pure, but I can’t beat around the bush here: Hellfire steals the show, not just from Heaven’s Light but from all other villain songs in Disney history. The song starts with a choral chant praying for forgiveness, which then segways into Frollo’s demented, mad raving about his lust, fear, and hatred for Esmeralda. The words are almost terrifying in their level of conviction and paranoia, which then devolves into vindictive, destructive mania, framed by the mournful echoes for “mercy” from the choir.

Right after Hellfire, we get one of my favorite instrumentals on the soundtrack called Paris Burning. The choir’s bustling, dramatic cries trimmed by the tense strings and horns of the orchestra just evokes fear and horror as Frollo terrorizes Paris. Then Phoebus finally takes a stand, refusing to set fire to the miller’s house and then, after Frollo does it himself, leaping in to save the family from the flames. In the musical, this whole sequence is accompanied by the amazing musical number Esmeralda (which honestly, every fan of this movie should listen to, it’s really worth it), but the film handles it unbelievably well with only a short scene and an instrumental that sears the final “Kyrie Eleison” into the audience’s ears like a fire brand.

Sadly, after this amazing, epic sequence, we once again are subjected to tonal whiplash when we return to the bell tower and the gargoyles decide to sing Quasimodo a song to cheer him up. Although I maintain Hunchback has one of the best soundtracks ever recorded, what stops it from being flawless is this song. A Guy Like You is not an inherently bad song on its own, but when combined with the rest of the soundtrack, its melody, tone, and out-of-place pop cultural references are just ridiculously jarring. It’s like we’ve been transported into a completely different movie, one less inspired by a classic French novel and a critically acclaimed film about social justice and one more inspired by Disney hits of the day like Aladdin and later projects like Hercules. As sad as it is, it’s kind of a relief when it’s over and we’re brought back down to earth by Esmeralda carrying a close-to-death Phoebus into Quasimodo’s tower.

Frollo’s arrival after Quasimodo agrees to hide Phoebus is excellent in its suspense. We can sense Frollo’s suspicion, and all the while, we’re so worried for Phoebus hiding under the very table he and Quasimodo are sitting at. Then Frollo, who we’ve only ever seen as cold, conniving, and controlled, bursts into a rage the kind of which we’ve never seen before, and for a second, he’s a demon himself. After his rage is spent, he sets his cruelest, most terrible trap yet: using Quasimodo’s feelings for Esmeralda so that he can capture her and the rest of the Romani. And at first, Quasimodo almost doesn’t take the bait, thanks to a short-lived pang of self-pity. At first he’s bitter about his heart being broken and considers not helping Esmeralda, as there’d seemingly be no “reward” in him doing so...but the feeling is quelled in seconds by the memory of Esmeralda and how much her friendship means to him. Quasimodo’s selflessness and goodness wins out in its struggle with his more selfish instincts...and this, in the end, is what makes Quasimodo a hero in my eyes.

All right, I guess with our entrance into the Court of Miracles, I should address the elephant in the room. I’ve called Esmeralda’s people “the Romani” in this review, but throughout the entire film, the term is substituted for the admittedly-period-appropriate slur “Gypsy.” I knew nothing about the Romani culture when I first saw this film and I profess no intimate knowledge of it now, but even with that, I have to acknowledge that this movie doesn’t always showcase the Romani in the best light. Although Quasimodo’s parents, Esmeralda, and (to a degree) Clopin are given relative sympathy, the sequence in the Court of Miracles doesn’t do much to endear them to the audience. These victims of persecution are not really given the focus they deserve: we never learn much about their culture or about why they’re persecuted, and we don’t really get to see how they live their lives as ordinary people. To someone who doesn’t know anything about the Romani, I don’t think this film would be the best introduction to their culture and heritage.

Our climax is accompanied by the best instrumental track in the film, Sanctuary! Whenever I hear this piece, I have to stay completely silent, drinking in every single line and note, so as to properly absorb its brilliance. The track has accompanied a lot of my writing in the past: it’s always helped me when I was writing a powerful, emotional climax, whether through the emotion it wrought from me or just from wanting to write a new scene to the music. This entire sequence, from a musical, writing, animation, and character point of view, is I think what made Disney decide to make this film in the first place. The pacing -- the character animation of Quasimodo tearing down the pillars -- the drawn backgrounds of Notre Dame -- the camera whirling over the never-ending crowd’s heads and up onto the cathedral as Quasimodo hoists Esmeralda over his head -- this is the heart of why the movie was made and what the entire film was building up to. This resistance against injustice and the protection of our sacred, historical institutions from hatred and cruelty is what Hunchback is and should be all about. Occasionally this battle scene is inter-spliced with comic bits that once again aren’t really necessary and kind of stick out (Laverne’s Wizard of Oz reference and Hugo’s impression of a fighter plane in particular are out of place), but it doesn’t ruin anything for me. Fortunately as the climax grows darker with the arrival of Frollo and the transition from Sanctuary! into And He Shall Smite the Wicked, the gargoyles take a backseat, and we get focus where we should’ve always had it: on Quasimodo, Esmeralda, and Frollo. Thanks to his love for his friend Esmeralda and the realization of his own self-worth, Quasimodo finally stands up to Frollo and breaks free of his poisonous influence once and for all. This line of Quasi’s has always stuck with me --

“All my life you’ve taught me the world is a dark, cruel place...but now I see the only thing dark and cruel about it is people like you!”

Even now this line is just so powerful. There was a point where all I saw of the world was its cruelties and injustices...but like Quasimodo, I’ve come to see that those cruelties are not inherent to the world or even to mankind as a whole. Humans are capable of both great evil and great good, but as long as the evil people of the world are allowed to seize control and exert their toxic influence over everyone else, the world and mankind overall will never become better. Like Quasimodo, we must stand against those who’ve embraced cruelty and hatred over acceptance and love. We must protect the brighter parts of the world that evil so wishes to snuff out. It’s a moral I think has only become more relevant and important over time.

Unlike in the book and musical, Esmeralda survives, and as much as I’ve heard people try to argue Esmeralda living is not true to the spirit of the original novel, I think it really suits the story being told and really feels just for both characters. Quasimodo deserved happiness; Esmeralda deserved happiness; and most importantly, this all the more highlights how different Quasimodo is from Frollo. Frollo says to Esmeralda, “Choose me or the fire” -- basically, if he can’t have her, he doesn’t want anyone else to...but Quasimodo doesn’t think that way. He cherishes Esmeralda and her friendship without any caveats or conditions: therefore him losing Esmeralda, whether to Phoebus or to death, doesn’t prompt him to commit suicide like he did in the novel. It’s not only a more uplifting ending, but I think a lesson in the selflessness of love, even if it’s just platonic love. And because Esmeralda loves Quasimodo just as much as a friend, she leads him out into the sun, where he finds even more of the love he deserves from the city he wished so much to belong in. Quasimodo doesn’t get the girl, but that was never what he wanted in the first place: it was merely to be accepted as he was.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame was one of the most formative films of my childhood, right up there with Beauty and the Beast, The Prince of Egypt, and Anastasia, and it remains my second favorite Disney animated film of all time. With time, I’ve seen more and more of its flaws, but those flaws don’t ruin what in the end is one of the most daring, revolutionary projects Disney Animation has ever tackled. Its artistry, from the backgrounds to the character animation, is exceptional; all of its major human characters are multi-faceted, complex, and real; its themes are eternally relevant and powerful; and its score and nearly all of its songs are just through the stratosphere in their quality. Hunchback, along with Beauty and the Beast, made me fall in love with France from afar as a child, a love affair that has only become more and more intense through the years, and Quasimodo and Esmeralda even now are so close to my heart. I wish so much to be as kind and gentle as Quasimodo and as brave and noble as Esmeralda, and I can only hope that at some point, if I ever visit Disneyland Paris, I might finally meet them. The Hunchback of Notre Dame may not have gotten the appreciation it deserved when it first came to theaters, but I’ll always be happy to hear Disney fans remembering it as fondly as I do. Who knows? Maybe someday, the world will be wiser and will give this film its time in the sun at long last.

[matildainmotion]

What To Do When You Don’t Get Your Arts Council Funding: The Unofficial Guide.

           There is an official guide. The ‘Decision Letter’ I got yesterday had a heading, Next Steps which explained how Lizzy and I could re-apply, start a new application for Mothers Who Make. ‘Decision Letter’ means, “It’s a no.” Last time, when it was a ‘yes’ I didn’t get a Decision Letter. I got an ‘Offer Letter’ so I knew it was a ‘no’ the moment I saw the word ‘Decision’ on the application portal that is Grantium. Grantium, the portal with a portentous Latin-sounding name into which, personally, I think every single artist that is courageous enough to enter to apply for funding should receive a reward for bravery. It is an epic quest involving the modern day Herculean labours of performing precise word-counts, particular codes of expression, statistical data gathering, budget-balancing – and at the end of it all there may be riches and glory or there may be this Decision Letter of Doom that coolly, in one curt sentence, acknowledges our efforts and disappointment and then says, ‘Next Steps.’ But before we even think about going through that modern mythic portal again, before we consider reapplying there are some other ‘Next Steps’ that need to be taken. Here they are:

Step 1: Swear

Swear loudly. Hope the children are not nearby. Even if they are this stage must be performed. Do not skip it out. Repeat as necessary. There is not much more to be said about this step. You will know when you have completed it.

Step 2: Wish it Were Different

For weeks I have been holding both possible outcomes in my mind. Unbidden they play out when I shut my eyes at night. The application went in under my name - even though it was a collaborative effort with Lizzy and Improbable- so I will find out about it first. I imagine making the phone call to her: “Hello,” she says. “We got it!” I say. She is delighted. Thrilled. It is incredibly exciting. Breath. It might not happen that way, I have been telling myself. In fact, I am pretty sure it won’t. I don’t think we are going to get this one. I don’t play out the conversation of that other phone call because it’s not fun, but I try to hold this heaviness in my belly to balance out the hope. I concentrate on the heavy feeling. But still, like the summer light that seeps through my children’s curtains at night, I can’t get rid of the hope altogether, and now that the disappointment is here, is incontrovertible, I have to deal with the leftover hope. It hangs around. It is curious how this happens. How even when the waiting is over at last, all those weeks of hoping cannot simply be swept away. They haunt me still. What if I had been able to ring up and declare, “We got it!”? I even have a fantasy that I should have done this. That I could have pretended we had received the longed for outcome and then I could cunningly have drummed up £50k in some other way, just so that I could get the hit of that moment of good news.  

There are flickers of other ‘if onlys’ also: if only I had been savvy enough to forsee that we would have been considered weak in such and such particular area on the mythic portal. If only we had put in more or different evidence of need and quality.

This step is longer and more painful than the swearing step, but it must be borne.

Step 3: Despair

That’s it then. We didn’t get it. All that time of Lizzy’s, of others who helped too. All those emails, phone calls, Skypes, late nights. All those times I told the children to wait, I had to get this work done. All that energy, navigating the portal, putting together this project, this amazing dream of a future. Gone. No project. No funding to pay ourselves or anyone else. I think you have to sit in the shit. I think you have to despair. Lie down. Weep. Feel the exhaustion. 

I am not good at this step. I hate despairing. I want to leap up and rush to the rescue. I want a fairy godmother. I recognise this from my mother, from my mothering – the longing to make it better now, the difficulty in staying with the difficult. But I think it’s important to hit rock bottom. I remember, not a fairy godmother story, but another folk tale from the Inuit tradition about a grieving mother who fashioned a new child out of her snot. I love this image. It helps me when I am crying, to think of all that stuff running out of my nose and eyes as being regenerative. So cry long and hard. You have to do a hell of a lot of grieving to get to the point where you have enough snot to make something from it. Accept the awfulness. This is where we are now. We have no money left to run Mothers Who Make. Nothing. Nada. None.

Step 4: Remember Your Roots

The good thing about there being nothing left is that it brings me right back round to when there was nothing before – to the origins of the whole movement. This is important. Inside the origin myth of how the whole thing began is the medicine you need to enable you to find a way through. Where did the dream come from? From which genuinely mythical portal did it arrive? What was the need or impulse behind it? What did you say about it back then? I said I was starting a peer support group, a small one, for mothers who are also artists. I said it was about carrying on whilst carrying your children, about acknowledging how hard this can be, how complex, how revolutionary, how fantastic, how exhausting.

Step 5: Name What You Have Now

Once I remember our origins I remember the resources we have available to us. Okay, so we have no money. That resource has run out. But we have some other things. We have a network of support comprised of inspirational and extraordinary creative mothers. We have the invaluable support of Improbable – they have been offering us time, energy and patience all along the way. And we have passion. Those are three incredible resources. If I had loads of money but no support network and no passion I’d be stuffed. Luckily it is the other way around. Along with the passion, born out of it, we have a manifesto. We have principles to which we are deeply committed. We have them written on our website (we have a website – that’s another resource!).

One of the principles that seems key to me right now is that MWM is radically non-hierarchical. Right from the outset leading the movement has meant being part of it. It does not mean knowing more, being ahead, being any more clued up or sorted than anyone else in the network, in the circle of support, be that in a meeting or online. This radical levelling applies across people and activities: one of the other MWM principles is that we value our mothering as much as our making. We value the personal as much as the professional. We value the vulnerable, alongside the slick and successful. We give space for stories about miscarriage, bereavement, abortion, post-natal depression and not getting your funding.

When the going gets rough, and fate, or Grantium, deal you a ‘Decision Letter’ rather than an offer of riches, it feels more important than ever to connect back to our principles and walk the talk. The Arts Council, mythically, are an authority figure – they introduce a hierarchy into the story that in many ways is unhelpful, triggering a feeling of helplessness and dependency. I have to start again from the level ground of where I am. So here I am, letting my son have ipad time so I can finish this blog, breastfeeding my daughter as I type (“It’s taking so long!” she complains) putting off having lunch, admitting that we are in a difficult place right now.

Step 6: Ask for Help

So you have sworn; you’ve wished you had got the funding; you’ve wept; you’ve remembered why you started this whole enterprise in the first place and connected back to what you care about. You are, by now, ready to do something. If you don’t feel this then please go back to Step 1 and repeat as necessary. Grieving – and it is a kind of grieving process, a 12 week wait of hopes that are not fulfilled – is a messy and disorderly business and in order to grow something from your grief it takes time. Be patient as you swear and cry. Eventually you will have done enough crying and be ready to do something with all the snot.

But doing doesn’t have to mean action in the macho sense of picking yourself up, soldiering on. Doing can mean deciding to stop for a while; it can mean connecting to people you trust; it can mean asking for help. These are some of the things Lizzy and I are going to do now.

We are going to stop running MWM activity for a while. Everything that is already underway can continue – hub meetings, online exchanges. All the mothering and the making will carry on because it has to do so. But Lizzy and I need to pause on producing newsletters, answering emails, having skypes, without any money to support this. Instead we will hunker down, write more funding bids, and focus on other kinds of doing like…

….Asking for your help. MWM is a grassroots movement. It comes from us and it is up to us how it grows, what it becomes. Ultimately it has to run on renewable resources. Arts Council funding is seriously useful but it is not a renewable resource – we are the renewable resource. We have to renew ourselves, and none of us can do this on our own.

There is quote that I like and that helps me when I think about renewal. It is from a father who makes, the poet David Whyte: “The antidote to exhaustion is not necessarily rest. The antidote to exhaustion is wholeheartedness.” As a mother rest can be hard to come by so I find this immensely reassuring. Ideally this is how peer-support works: we take it in turns who supports who, but even when you are in the role of the one supporting you come away from the exchange feeling more wholehearted, less exhausted.

This is the spirit in which we want to ask for help. Please help renew us and yourselves by doing whatever of these things you can do with wholeheartedness:

1) Send us encouragement: Via email or on Facebook or Twitter, let us know why MWM matters to you.

2) Send us ideas: fund-raising ideas from cake stalls to lottery jackpots. Can you raise some money for us? Send us your thoughts on how to make MWM sustainable and thriving.

3) Send us some money: anything helps. £5 is wonderful and we would accept £500 too. We need to try to fund our time whilst we apply for further funding. Go here to donate - Improbable have kindly offered for us to use their donate details. Please make sure you put ‘For Mothers Who Make’ in the notes section before pressing donate to ensure it reaches us.

Or buy us a £3 coffee for the late night chats here You can buy a t-shirt or a badge here too. Adult T-shirts £12 including postage (email us your preferred size and address, Children’s T-shirts (18 months & 24 months) are £10 including postage and badges £3 including postage.

4) Keep going to your local meetings and rally round the wonderful 42 mother makers who co-ordinate the MWM hubs

5) Keep sharing, exchanging, supporting on social media. Keep talking about MWM.

6) Come to a UK wide MWM meeting: we will be going camping and holding a day long gathering over the summer for anyone within the MWM network to help us vision how to move forwards from here. Let us know if you would like to host us! We have no money to hold the day, but we hope it will be rich in wholeheartedness. Look out for further details soon.

And, by way of July’s question of the month, you can tell us: what have you grown from your grief? What has come from your failures, losses and f**k ups? Who are your snot children?

[believerindaydreams]

displacement activity

...the next one after Angel Eyes’ annoying friend Baker shows up, so Blondie’s barely out the door at this point.

"Have fun cooking," Susan says, juggling her purse and a casserole dish with difficulty. Angel Eyes barely manages to lift a keyring off the latter, before she charges off.

Baker stares at them dubiously. "You need your bodyguard to help you make soup."

"Yes."

"Angel, you never let anybody help you make soup. It's your thing! It's what you do!"

"He's the one who knows the recipe," Angel Eyes says, slamming the door hard in Baker's face. There are an unusual number of locks and fasteners on it, more than you'd necessarily expect for a kitchen; and Angel takes care to deploy every last one before he speaks again. "That was largely to get him to go away, he knows I don't ever let anybody help me cook in the field. Although if you have any notions on the subject, feel free to mention."

"Maybe I don't know how to make a good soup," Tuco ventures, taking two tries to pull himself on the heavy steel table. This room is huge, big enough to butcher an ox and cook it afterwards; he wonders if the house came this way or if it was something Angel installed. "I mean, not like a man like you would want to eat."

"I might surprise you."

That grim smile, it's Angel Eyes all over, but also they are alone and the door is locked and he might be forgiven for constructing it as flirtatious. Thank god for Blondie. Having the man between them means nothing can happen, not of too much consequence...

if he passes it off lightly, maybe Angel will take it the same way. "If you need something nice, how about minestrone? Minestrone is easy, anybody can make that."

"Could work, although I do have recipes for that. Mea culpa..."

Tuco snorts. "Your fault for what?" It's nice that Angel Eyes will stop to explain himself, when asked to translate, but that bit of Latin everybody knows.

Though maybe not in Angel's circles. The man looks just a little surprised (mischievous, almost, that expression is only ever fleeting but it makes him feel more at home). "For thinking you'd have something more exotic up your sleeve. I shouldn't have assumed that, or that I was entitled to it if you did- I can see how it might feel too much like your hustle."

"Nobody is going to ask me for the recipe for menudo over a poker game, that's more Spanish than they want to know. You want a recipe for chili that'll make you very sick, I can give you that. Kidney beans without enough soaking...it used to make Blondie mad," Tuco says, absently rubbing his mustache. "He said it was enough to take a mark's money. I said, if they were dumb enough to ask the man they were trying to con for a recipe, they deserved what they got. But I guess we're not in a poker game now..."

He trails off, waiting for Angel Eyes to respond, but the man's hunting through a bookcase now. "You're like Blondie sometimes, you know that? I talk all the time, but when I stop, maybe you still don't say anything."

"I'm listening," Angel Eyes says simply.

His partner also listens to him, so what's the difference here? "Menudo is terrible. All that tripe, I think it was the forfeit for a drunken bet...no, I make decent albondigas but I won't cook that today. Baker's here."

"Not necessarily a sticking point. We could always fob him off with a can of Campbell's."

Tuco trusts Angel enough now, to give him the side-eye when that seems right. "Funny idea of hospitality you have, eh?"

"You've met Baker."

Good point. He switches topics. "And why do you even have canned soup, eh? That doesn't seem much like the Angel Eyes I know-" and stops himself just in time. Damnit, he is not talking to Blondie and ought to remember that.

"Susan uses the kitchen for her own cooking before she goes home, and she says it's a requirement for making genuine hotdish. Naturally I think that's a travesty, but it's worth conceding the point when she feels so strongly about it. Treating the help badly can get a man killed."

Ah, ah- that explains it. All the politeness, the willingness to indulge him. "And you think I'm Blondie's help, eh?"

"If Blondie would just explain himself once in a while," Angel Eyes says, "I might have an answer for that. As it is, I don't know and I'm not guessing."

"Uh-huh- well, I'm not. We're partners." It feels good, to be able to say that out loud. Most anywhere else, it'd be dangerous to even hint what the two of them are to each other. "But you must really not like Baker- the first night we were here, we had the best mole I've ever tasted."

Angel Eyes looks at him quizzically, while dumping an armful of books on the table. "Is that what it was? I'd forgotten."

How you forget a thing like that, well, maybe that's what being rich does to you. "Sure. We parked the station wagon outside, came into this huge house. I thought, this is when he tells me to leave, but you didn't. You even let me pick the supper."

That's a slightly edited version- he remembers lingering at the door while Angel and Blondie had been getting vigorously reacquainted in the hall. Wondering if he should go back to the car, until Angel had opened the door again and told him to come inside already. Maybe Angel doesn't remember that part either, but he's still grateful for it.

"Well, it was never any good asking Blondie what he wanted," Angel Eyes remarks; which is so perfectly true that it makes Tuco laugh.

"But you could have...I don't know. Kept him, thrown me out."

"I wasn't taking chances, after what went wrong the first time. If he needed you to be with him to stay, I was willing to accept that- only that doesn't seem to have worked either. I do seem to keep asking you the wrong questions."

"How's that?"

"You might have told me that Blondie's in the habit of running off."

"Sure. If you'd asked."

"For someone who talks all the time, you're very good at not giving away more than you want known," Angel muses. He's studying the cookbooks now. Clean as if they've never been used, but the spines are cracked and pages torn. They must be in fairly frequent rotation, Tuco decides.

"You knew what I was, when I showed up...well, maybe you didn't. I remember seeing Susan and thinking, no way can that Valkyrie cook anything Mexican. I was wrong about that."

"Brought up in Mexico City," Angel Eyes says at length. "Then she moved north and took up turkey hunting. I gave her some tips on the subject, before hiring her."

Tuco's not sure, whether it's Susan or the glossy pictures of chicken soup that are making Angel smile like that. He's not even very fond of chicken soup and that print would make him smile.

"But you're right. Assumptions are dangerous things, to my way of thinking." Angel Eyes hasn't even taken the gloves off yet, has been flipping through pages mercilessly. "And I seem to have been making too many of them about Blondie. As for you...sub silentio, that's a phrase that might suit you. In silence, that which is implied but never stated."

That'll be something to put on his next postcard. Hey, brother, I met a crazy millionaire who gifted me a Latin phrase, all my own. Maybe you know it...

"More than Blondie, it's difficult to catch you in an actual lie. I have a certain respect for that. Enough to avoid pressing you about anything you'd prefer not to tell- though I have made a few guesses."

It's not that an enthusiasm for poker has taught him, how to sit here calmly swinging his legs and not breaking into a sweat; it's that having the talent made poker an obvious use for it. "Guess all you like. Back to confessions again, eh? Well, I gave you one last night."

"And I haven't given you mine yet," Angel Eyes agrees. "Having something taken away from me- I had a mentor who used to do that, quite often." His smile could be used to flavour a meringue, Tuco thinks; all sour and yet a little sweet. "You might call her a self-help expert. She'd hide my possessions when I wasn't looking, to drill in the point that I shouldn't put my faith in any specific material object."

"You paid her good money for that? If all you want is to have somebody pocket things when you aren't looking, I'll do it for half the price," Tuco jokes.

"That debt's been paid long since," Angel says, somewhat tiredly. Baker is a wearying man to have around the place, Tuco decides; he should do something about that. "Her efforts succeeded."

"...you mean you have all this, wealth and everything, and you don't enjoy it? What's the use of that?"

"Sometimes I ask myself that same question."

Tuco shakes his head. "It'd be different if you'd been poor, like me. If I was rich enough to buy a whole state, there'd still be things I liked better than anything else."

"Like that pack?"

"Like the pack." He considers for a moment, whether to tell the story about how he got it. Decides to hold off (if they're buying and selling stories now, that makes information precious.) "Or the St Christopher's medal my brother gave me, I wouldn't lose that for anything. Some other things, too." It's strangely tempting to mention the jute winding, the one that Blondie begs for at nights, but Angel Eyes must know about that already; and he'd feel wrong mentioning it out loud. Maybe he should, though. It might make Angel Eyes feel less cut off, to find common ground...no, no, that won't work with Blondie away.

He's suddenly aware how lonely this is. Normally when his partner splits he'll go off to find a girl, someone who's soft and dark and won't want anything but kindness and maybe some help with her rent. That doesn't seem like an option this time though, given the current delicate arrangement- damn it, he'd better stop even thinking along those lines. Angel's in much too close proximity, leaning over the table like that.

"Hmm," Angel Eyes says. "This pork egg drop looks promising. And if it doesn't go well, we might have a worse test subject to try it on than our dinner guest."

"At least you like something," Tuco says with relief. "You like soup."

"You say that as if liking is a positive virtue."

"Live with Blondie long enough, you'll decide the same thing just in self-defense. Not that it does him any good- you know I've had just this one bag, for years and years. Cost a lot of money, but it's lasted me. Now he goes and gets a duffle from the Salvation Army every year, and it's cheap and there's holes in it, or the strap's broken or something, not a quarter so good as mine. And he says that's less worldly than loving a pack the way I do- now does that make any sense?"

"There's something to be said for both points of view," Angel Eyes says imperturbably. Tuco rolls his eyes, as he hoists himself off the table.

"How long does making a soup take you, then?"

"Oh. A few hours, generally...it'll be a fine excuse to avoid Baker for a while."

"That's not very polite for a guest," Tuco says gravely. "I'll go talk to him, keep him amused."

"You might not want to do that," Angel says. "Believe me. He's more violent than he looks."

"Maybe I don't. Maybe I don't need you treating me like the help, either. You want to give me orders, you better put me on a salary first."

For a minute he can see that Angel's actually considering it, hard thought and a note of concern, and it reminds him of this morning's mistrust. This isn't the best idea he's ever had, to be sure.

"I don't know that I could look Blondie in the face when he gets back, if I did that," Angel Eyes says eventually. "Buying you off, I think you'd both consider that an insult."

"True." An insult he might want to take up one of these days, but he's getting a sense of what stakes Blondie's playing for, and they're too good for him to fold just at present.

"So just- be careful. You know where to find me. And tell Baker if he tells me that story about Santa Fe again, I'll serve him up his own head for dinner."

"Done."

Angel Eyes is precise; a few hours means at least two. Baker's been hanging around all day, ignoring every hint to go with the enthusiasm of the truly desperate- or the enamored.

So obviously it's not right for either of them, but maybe a little hospitality will slake both their problems at once...

[gringoslur]

Hey I’m an American Latina (sorry I don’t know if that’s the correct wording) and I don’t speak Spanish fluently. My mom does but doesn’t speak English at all so communicating is a trouble. I wanna learn but for some reason I’m having trouble. I took spanish class but i had the worst teachers. Was wondering if you had any tips

Hey! I don’t know the terms used in USA, but “american latina” it’s a little bit confusing for us (we call ourselves “latin americans” to point out that hey! america is not just usa). Maybe just use latina from usa to avoid confusion? And yes, i understand that, my english teachers weren’t….the best. Before starting this, know that i’m argentinan so a lot of the examples or sources that i’m giving you are from here. Ok so here are my tips:

First of all, like i talked before, i feel like the first decision that you have to make comes from the reason that you are learning the language. If you are learning to get close to your roots, then you need to consume the kind of spanish. For example, if your family it’s from El Salvador, it would be cool to find sources and people from there and focus your spanish in the way that they speak. If you are looking for academic purposes you need to search for the “neutral spanish” (that would be called “proper spanish”, don’t confuse it with “spanish from spain” i already talked about this here) if you want to know more about this kind of spanish here’s a post. If you want both options, then do both things.

Do it daily. Make spanish part of your life. If you study for a while you are gonna end up forgetting it, its gonna be harder for you. This post might help you more in that aspect, how to achieve that. 

Listening or reading? For me, it was always more easy to read in english and THEN i started to understand more when i listened. I’ve met people that understand more when they are listening than reading. Check what it’s best for you, this information might help you to find the easiest way to learn something new or what kind of things you need to work on.

Listening (& pronunciation): music, radio, movies, tv shows. If you have a country that your family comes from, you like the accent or it’s more easy for you to understand, it would be cool to search for music from there (know the genres that are easier for you, for example reggeaton is not always the first choice for people that want to learn because sometimes not even native speakers know what they are saying). Search for a radio station web and spend some time of your day listening people talk or just music. This is the radio that i usually listen from my country (and sometimes they have radio stations in a lot of latin countries, like right now in the argentinian web i’m hearing “the global show” that they do sometimes, so i’m listening the colombian radio station actually) There’s some songs in english, but it’s mostly spanish. I’ve talked about movies in the post about neutral spanish and my advices for it. And tv shows, you can find a lot of episodes of novelas, or even daily tv shows or tv news on the internet (there’s a lot in youtube) (for example, this novela). Even if you don’t understand completly or anything at all, it’s good because you get used to words, accents, pronunciation and contexts and that will help you a lot in the future. If you like one song, for example, there’s apps that will help you to find it if you let it listen to it for like 15 seconds (Shazam is one of them) and then you can find the lyrics online to know the context, or youtube videos to listen to it while you read it.

Reading (& writing): books, movies, comunication, lyrics. Like i said, searching the lyrics of a song helps you with the pronunciation AND how you write it. At some point of my life i became obsessed with having to know what every english song was saying so i used to do this all the time. Make it a daily thing for you too. Books, that’s harder and it might be more frustrated, i think that this is a step that you will take once you are more comfortable with the language. Look for books that are easy to read in spanish. For example, the first book that i read in english was “Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe” because the words used werent very complex. You have to get used to the structure of the phrases of that language, that’s the harderst thing at first. Movies, you can search for your favorite movie but with english subtitles, they are very easy to find (or even in Netflix, if you can do that).I’ve already talked about movies in the neutral spanish post. Communication it’s a scary step because it involves other people, but i promise you that once you get used to it, it’s so much easier. Ask a person that you know that it’s a spanish speaker here to have a chat in spanish, the same things that you would talk in english. Ask them to correct you if you make a mistake (this point it’s very important for me at least, i don’t feel good correcting people if i don’t have their okay) and then with that, reading and writing it’s gonna become more easy with the time. Remember that you might have a perfect reading, but you need to make your brain get used to write those letters combined. You might vaguely remember a word and their definition, but writing it down sometimes it’s really hard because if you don’t remember it, then your brain stars screaming ”no! this is wrong!”. I’m always checking out words, and its an usual thing for me to forget about letters or confuse two words. Also, this point it’s great because you get friends!

Vocabulary: first mistake to learn a language it’s having the expectation of knowing all the words of that language. Which is….impossible. I’m a spanish speaker and i don’t know every single word or how tf you write them. Have this in your mind if you feel frustrated, your vocabulary gets richer everyday even in your mother language. A tip it’s to pay attention with the words that are difficult to you. For example, most of the spanish speakers when we learn english our mayor difficulty it’s “where the fuck i put the H in this word?” (god, don’t talk to me about “three” i hate it). Notice your weak points. There’s also words that are gonna make you mad. I can’t pronunce “comfortable” and that’s a fact that i just….accepted lmao. I always confuse “in/on” or “its/is”. Know yourself and have patience with yourself, be gentle with your brain and just try to enjoy learning. Some people like to make lists and even put lebels on things to make it easier. 

Youtube videos: this might help too! Hearing experiences of people that are learning or that know the dificulties that this language has:

How to sound like a NATIVE SPANISH SPEAKER 

My best Spanish language learning tips & apps

Learning Spanish? 3 IMPORTANT TIPS

Becoming Bilingual in the USA / 5 TIPS

The R’s thing

Improve Listening Skills

HOW TO SPEAK SPANISH CONFIDENTLY | BEST 3 TIPS 

A Spanish lesson nobody else will give you

You are embarrased to said something wrong? Don’t worry, we all are! And we all know that you can’t escape that! Spanish has so many dialects that if you are talking with someone that doesn’t speak your dialect….it’s gonna get uncomfortable. Here is a post that explains this. And this is a video of it. And this is a song for it. So don’t be afraid, laugh about yourself because….this is gonna happen. It’s your destiny if you want to learn spanish. You sign up for this language and you have to suffer like everyone else, mi dude. 

Some things might work for you, some things might not: some advices of this list or other tips won’t work for you or might not be your favorite and that’s ok! Everyone it’s different and you need to find an easy route that it’s personal for you. For example, people say that you need to “think in english” when you barely know it. Like….that shit didn’t work for me in the beginning, not until i was pretty comfortable with it. Don’t force yourself just to end up frustrated. Give yourself time! Especially fi you are latine, i feel like some of you might take this as an “obligation”…make friends that are having the same experiences that you and talk about it, but please don’t feel bad about this. For me, you are an english speaking person trying to learn spanish and that’s so refreshing. Don’t let people pull you don’t or make you feel bad about yourself. I cried because i couldn’t understand english, i wasn’t very good at it in school and i even had to take the class again because the “teacher needed to know that i was in the same level as others” (i changed schools, from a public to a private…i was doing well in the other english class, but not with this women. it was so frustrating). I started to “learn” more just by myself and i ended up being one of the best in english at the end of high school. Give yourself time and make this a good experience for you! 

Sorry if i had any mistakes, i’m pretty tired rn. But if anyone has some other advice, please comment! If i can think of something else i will add it to this post.

[aleniksimmer]

Gorizilla: considerations.

So, we all know that MLB team put some (a lot) of hints here and there, or strange coincidences (like the owl paintings in Mr. Damocles’ office, or the fox one’s at Alya’s place).

I was rewatching Gorizilla for the 3rd time (yeah, too little) and I decided to put some random things I noticed in here, since at this point this blog is a crossover between The Sims and MLB.

First, when Gabriel go to Adrien’s room, the phone said it was playing  Chopin - Prelude No. 15 in D-flat major, which I think is also called Raindrop, the same that appears in The Collector.

1. Gorizilla, 2. The Collector

I know nothing about Classic Music, so please be merciful, but I’ve listened to it a couple of time and it doesn’t remind me of the one played in the show, but the general atmosphere reminds me a lot of the song in Emilie Agreste’s movie in Gorizilla.

This could be a coincidence due to the budget since it’s esier to use the same texture and the same sound in a scene, but I can’t not notice that Adrien uses this song the two times he “argues” with his father. Maybe, again, these are just coincidences (I can’t remember Adrien using the piano other times, but feel free to correct me) - confirmed not to be Raindrop.

Now, lets talk about the title, Raindrop. It seems clear to me that rain is used in the most emotional parts, where something important is happening (I will probably have difficulties to explain this clear in english).

From what I remember we saw the rain three times (maybe four, but I can’t remember).

1. Princess Fragrance, 2. Origins, 3. Gorizilla

In Princess Fragrance, the rain forces Marinette to meet Master Fu for the first time (sure, she helped him crossing the street when she was only Marinette, but she doesn’t seem to have memories of it). In Origins there’s rain and there’s an umbrella, and this is exactly the moment when a connection is created between Adrien and Marinette. Now, if you look at Gorizilla, the rain is in Emilie’s movie, and there is also an umbrella, but she walks alone and the title is Solitude. Also, in both moments, piano music plays but the atmosphere that you can feel is the opposite. Don’t tell me this is a coincidence, I don’t believe you, not even if Thomas tells me directly that nothing is intended in these similarities/oppsites.

“Pacto ille solent mihi inquam diceret quo ludus���

It’s latin, and it’s the caption that appears in every photo posted by the fans of Adrien. At the moment I write this I asked Thomas, but he hasn’t answered yet and I don’t know if he will. I studied Latin years ago and I can’t remember much, so if anyone can help it’s really appreciated.

To be this out of place it must mean something, or it’s a troll from the production - confirmed to be filler/placeholder text and Jean Tretiens to be a troll name.

I don’t know if we ever hear his name, but the Bodyguard/Babysitter/Gorilla could have a name that starts with G., in fact, when Wayhem takes his phone and calls Adrien, this is the name that appears on his phone (or maybe Adrien calls him Gorilla too - confirmed).

It’s the second third time we hear Nooroo speak if I don’t remember wrong.

And it’s the first time we se Hawkmoth trasformation, making me think that maybe we are going to see Gabriel becoming Hawkmoth more in future episodes.

In the end, Hawkmoth managed to akumatize him, through a similar situation.

1. Gorizilla, 2. Gigantitan

I knew nothing about the episode Gigantitan and at the moment I saw the akuma I really thought the Giant was the bodyguard due to his shape.

Simon said it, both for Gabriel and for the bodyguard.

The car ad at the beginning is the same of the one in Prime Queen. I can’t read what the plate says, but I think this will be connected with a future episode (maybe an akuma or a new carachter). Or it’s just a budget thing again.

1-2. Gorizilla, 3. Prime Queen

Things written in the movie. I don’t remember any other references in the show about Graham Films, nor about the symbol, but we know a person named A. Bourgeois, aka André Bourgeois, Chloé’s father. But, as many of us noticed, André is already Paris mayor and owns an hotel, that’s why it has been theorized that A. could refer to Chloé’s mother, and this also could explain why Adrien and Chloé know eachother, since their mothers worked together in a movie. With this movie we also know the name of Adrien’s mother, which is Emilie, and, considering her surname is Agreste, we can think that she was already married to Gabriel at the time (same for Chloé’s mother if it’s her).

An interesting fact about this movie is that Adrien says this can’t be found on the internet, that Gabriel owns the only DVD and that it is shown only that day on that theatre (if I understood right). Some questions and theories came to my mind: Adrien’s says he has never seen the movie, leading me to think that or he wasn’t born yet, or he was to little to “watch” it. Also, he says it’s special because his mother has the leading role, so maybe his mother isn’t in fact an actress, and this was the “first” and only movie she played. Theory is: maybe A. Burgeois wanted to do this movie for a specific reason (maybe it’s a particular movie made for something considering it’s black and white), he/she was friend with the Agreste and thought that Emilie fit the role, and that’s why no one seem to adress Emilie as a famous person, despite she’s the wife of vip Gabriel. See, the cinema was basically empty, despite (I guess) everyone knows she’s part of the well known Agreste family, leading me to think that she has lived in the shadow the whole life (as his husband), without doing a job that made her name famous, unlike Gabriel (again, it’s difficult to me to explain this in English).

I also question myself if that day and that cinema has something special, maybe an anniversary or something, important just for a few people. At this point I ask myself why Gabriel seems not to remeber/consider this “day” special. Is he still too hurt about watching his wife captured in real life and not through a painting? Or something happened during the creation of the movie? Something between the Agreste and the Burgeois?

The poster of the movie can be seen on top of the door.

Best way to hide your identity in Paris? Wear a mask or an helmet.

1. Gorizilla, 2. Princess Fragrance

Gabriel, speaking of trust to Adrien, hides THIS thing under the mansion. The quality is not 1080p and the pics don’t give you the idea, but if you watch this part of the episode again, you can see that under the bridge there’s something that can resemble roots, roots of the (at this point) tree that can be seen in the center. I don’t know if this is a pure design style, but the disposition is very similar to a cathedral, leading me to think that the light thing that we see reclined on the tree could be a sarcophagus/coffin with Emilie inside, a very well conserved Emilie’s body inside. BUT, this is just what the majority of adult (?) people can think of. In fact, this is a show for kids, it’s pastel, it’s fun and it’s something where no one gets really injured in the end. But I still think, considering the initial concept of MLB anime, how much dark can this plot become? Because the idea of Gabriel taking care of Emilie’s corpse is intruing, but I don’t think it’s child friendly. Oh well, it COULD be child friendly IF it’s something like Disney’s Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. Knowing this, I think an essay can be write with all the theories and such around these frames, but I’m not really the one who speaks with so little blurred distant hints.

In the end, two blue paintings on both sides of Gabriel’s studio. I don’t know that they are but paintings don’t lie in this show.

1-2. Gorizilla, 3. Dark Owl, 4. Sapotis

Also, I’ve noticed that both Fu and Dupain-Cheng have the same Koi painting, but maybe it’s just related to the fact that they are chinese (I know nothing about China culture).

1. The Bubbler, 2. The Collector

Emilie’s face.

PS: sorry if there are grammar/lessical mistakes, English is not my mother language; also, I’ve not focused my attention to mesh/texture errors (I’ve noticed some but I don’t like to point them out). I also noticed that a forniture in Adrien’s bedroom has the same stripes of his shirt.

And a pic of Pool’s entrance.

Thanks to @didntwantanaccount​ , @damaless , @virginiageorgette , @sunkai , @anime549  for the corrections!