#it’s mostly pro Blair tho

[nikkiruncks]

Anti Chair moodboard

[nic-spit]

UPDATED (‼️) 10/23 HORROR MOVIES WATCHED 2K22

‼️ Disclaimer ‼️ these are half baked opinions that, in the end, do not really matter, and have no effect nor hold any judgement on if you enjoyed/did not enjoy the same movies. I have no critical thinking skills and the number rankings are frivolous at best. YMMV. Have a good day. I love you drink some water. Be cool.

TO BE UPDATED

SPOILERS AHEAD

COMEDY-HORROR

Not everyone enjoys the hack n slash and brutality of other horror types so let's start with some lighter movies for those folks:

HOLLYBLOOD (Netflix) - 7/10

Spanish (dubbed) Twilight parody turned very very very light thriller. Literally, Hollyblood is the in-universe name for a Twilight movie. Has the most supportive dad to exist. "He's confused but he's got the spirit" in human form. CGI is minimal and cheesy, practical effects are cheesy and silly as hell. A good time. Desperate teen love, and nuns. Guys wearing eyeliner. A+

‼️ GIRLS WITH BALLS (Netflix) - 7/10

Who hasn't wanted to hunt volleyball players in the woods? As silly as it is creepy. Moral of the story: don't let old men lick your face. Has a minstrel.

THE BABYSITTER (Netflix) - 9/10

Always a sucker for an Evil Barbie. Has some of the most bloodthirsty teenagers in it who can also be wholesomely supportive of the kid they're trying to kill. Found Family in reverse. So much blood and a good amount of gore. Loses a point for the kid wanting to be a cop tho.

MY BEST FRIENDS EXORCISM (Amazon) - 10/10

Trauma and backstabbing everywhere, just like real highschool. Adults not caring about their teenage daughters, just like real highschool!! Bash from GLOW teaching kids about lifting weights for Jesus!! Just like real highschool!!!! For real tho the 4 main characters are all pretty insufferable in a realistic way and the more horror the movie turns the less i think Bash from GLOW was told it was a horror movie and not a straight comedy.

CLASSIC HORROR/THRILLER

Blood n gore and monsters and sometimes magic:

THE PRIVILEGE (Netflix) - 0/10

Idk what the fuck even happened in this movie. Nothing happened and nothing mattered. Don't ask too many questions cuz they won't answer them. Maybe ghosts? Maybe demons? What was with the old lady?

BLAIR WITCH (2016) (Netflix) - 0/10

Why did we watch this we hate found footage this made no sense IF EVERYONE DIED WHO FOUND THE FOOTAGE

‼️ THE INFLUENCE (Netflix) - 1/10

Pros: a couple cool visuals, strong lighting motifs

Cons: NOTHING IN THIS STORY MADE SENSE WHY DID ANY OF THIS HAPPEN HOW DID ANY OF THIS HAPPEN NOTHING WAS COHERENT

‼️ THE BOY 2 (Netflix) - 2/10

Definitely worse than the first. Took something that was creepy in it's own right and turned it into a cheesy supernatural flick.

‼️ BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (1999) (Hulu) - 2/10

GOD I JUST REALLY HATE FOUND FOOTAGE literally NOTHING happened but weird sounds, getting turned around, and teeth in a bundle of sticks. Only gets two points because the main character lady's fear did feel real to me. She carried that movie, cuz it's not like there was ever actually a witch to do anything lol. Liked the original more than the remake only because it felt less 'produced'. If i didn't have the internet i could possibly believe this was three kids fucking around in the woods. The new one? Lol no.

Note: i can see tho how with the marketing when this movie came out people would be freaked out by it, but by today's standards it's...weak.

NO ONE SLEEPS IN THE WOODS TONIGHT (Netflix) - 4/10

A Polish (dubbed) kids-at-camp type movie.  Mostly disappointed in how the fact they were at a tech-addiction camp never came into play outside of not having phones, and a lot of the deaths felt anticlimactic. Also aliens? Not much CGI use and one or two of the practical moments was cool. Gain points for hilarious mannequin head toss and Jurek's death scene.

‼️ THE BOY (Netflix) - 5/10

Never thought I'd be absolutely viscerally disgusted by someone saying the word 'kiss' but hey this movie did it

‼️ A CLASSIC HORROR MOVIE (Netflix) - 6/10

I wanted this to be good, after learning the twist. I really did. Loved the premise, but for some reason it just felt sloppy. Coulda been really good if it had pushed a bit further. Will gladly rewatch.

THERE'S SOMEONE INSIDE YOUR HOUSE (Netflix) - 7/10

All the gays live. The killer is not who you'd probably expect but exactly who it should be. Kids trying to survive high school. The killers motives made no sense after the first two murders.

‼️ THE WRETCHED (Netflix) - 7/10

This was genuinely a solid movie. Plot was cliche but they worked with it really well! Actually enjoyed watching it and not just making fun of it! THE DOG LIVES

ELI (Netflix) - 7/10

Not really a horror movie? Nothing scary in it but some predictable jump scares. Cool movie anyway tho. Netflix is lying about the 'heart-stopping scares'. Medical horror, maybe.

‼️ OCULUS (Hulu) - 8/10

Definitely had some of the most disturbing scenes we've watched so far, but still just not scary. Are we just immune to scare??? Loved how they did what's real/what isn't. Def had me guessing for a lot of it. Still don't think it's clear what was and wasn't real (in a good way, not a frustrating/bad way). I would trust Karen Gillan to exorcise my house.

INCARNATE (Netflix) - 8/10

Short (84 minutes) sweet and to the point. Did its thing and ended. Inception but Demons, hosted by Mr. Batman Two Face himself. Genuinely want more.

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2022) (Netflix) - 8/10

Gentrification Is Bad and Influencers are Fucking Annoying: The Movie.  Lots of blood and screaming, loved the inclusion of school shooting trauma. Party Bus massacre best massacre. No magic no monsters just a pissed off dude committing murders in the name of his mom and town.

THE RITUAL (Netflix) - 9/10

Andy Serkis's movie about why camping is bad and he's right to say it. Fuck hiking. Norse mythology, cool monster, cool visuals, cults, guilt, friends fighting, compasses spinning in circles, all the good ingredients a horror movie needs.

THE OLD WAYS (Netflix) - 9/10

A somewhat realistic take on someone not believing there's a demon inside them. Cool visuals and effects, definitely had my gag reflex activated strongly at one point. The end is not the end and then there's the REAL end that is SO MUCH BETTER than if they had stopped ten minutes before. Main character ends up badass af. Based in Mexico.

‼️ HELLRAISER (1987) (Hulu) - 9/10

Look i really don't think it's the 'masterpiece' everyone else seems to think, but it was weird, grotesque, creepy, and had a goop man covered in lube so high marks for me. Felt disturbing and wrong, in the right way. Has definitely aged, but still loved it. Highly recommend.

HELLRAISER (2022) (Hulu) - 9/10

Confused on the rules but doesn't matter because Jamie Clayton and cool monster designs. Everyone gettin' off on torture. it's a good time. Love all the skin peeling, it's like helping mom with the potatoes on Thanksgiving

‼️ JASON X (Tubi) - 10/10

Jason Voorhees in the future on a spaceship, decides to immediately commit murder. Becomes half-mechanical Uberjason and fights a hot Android babe in head to toe leather with an unfortunate haircut. The vacuum of space can't even stop him. Earth 2. Amazing movie, perfect no notes.

A LIL DIFFERENT

Focused more on the mystery and story than the amount of gore scattered around (not that there's NO gore mind you):

THE BYE BYE MAN (Netflix) - 0/10

Yes we watched this because of the name. It should probably go under the Classic Horror style group but because of how hard it failed at feeling like horror it doesn't deserve to be there. The entire budget went into getting Carie-Anne Moss for the last half hour and honestly she's the best part of it. There's like?? No blood?? Would get two points for the cool little girl who saves her family by not being able to read in the dark but not even that can reclaim how bad this was. 3 college kids dick around and the killer does NOTHING the whole movie.

‼️ BOO BITCH (Netflix) - 8/10

Ghostfacers meets Mean Girls. I'm putting it on this list because it includes ghosts, which is sorta Halloweeny. Loved the look into the boyfriends' side of teenage relationships. Silly and cute.

FEAR STREET trilogy (Netflix) - 10/10

Yes loosely based on RL Stine books. Don't worry, the Gays win in this one. All three movies NEED to be binged together honestly imho, separately they fell weird and disconnected. Great story and mystery, the time jumping is great and reveals so much information, Josh and Martin need to be protected and cherished at all times forever. Lots of violence and blood, gore is few and far between.

[cleocazo]

Ultimate ship for Jack & Pandora I miss our gay moms

ultimate ship ask meme   /   accepting  !

General:

How long will they last? : i think for as long as they’re.. alive.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? : it was p slow and that was entirely on jack. once she fell tho, she fell hard.

How was their first kiss? : one of those kisses that was just… pure and simple, emotionally charged. it had definitely been building a while, before they gave in.

Wedding:

Who proposed? : jack ! she def always looked at her mum and dad as an example of eternal love to aim for, and when she found it, she was not letting it pass her by.

Who is the best man/men? : jack’s siblings fulfilled the role for her.

Who is the bridesmaid(s)? : uh… some friend of dora’s, i’m sure.

Who did the most planning? : they did equal amts of planning.

Who stressed the most? : dora.

How fancy was the ceremony? : not very. it was an outside wedding, and it was very lowkey. like, 10 guests max, lowkey. they made most of the stuff themselves, and it was all very wholesome. they’ll prob do a fancier renewal of their vows eventually.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? : oogie.

Sex:

Who is on top? : jack. i just… know, you know? 

Who is the one to instigate things? : depends. i would say it’s p equal.

How healthy is their sex life? : it’s fine! good! words in line w both of those! they don’t have a wild sex life by any means ( too many kids livin in their house ), but it works for them.

How kinky are they? : they definitely enjoy being a lil freaky in bed, but they save the more out of pocket things for when it’s a special occasion. 

How long do they normally last? : im uncomfortable w this question.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? : they’re gay, so, like, yea.

How rough are they in bed? : not very. their relationship is built on TENDER , LOVE , AND CARE.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? : lots. jack is the little spoon.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? : none.

How many children will they adopt? : they have six kids ; fisher, friday, blair, cassandra, freddy & clarice. i honestly and truly believe they could end up with more.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? : pros of adopting kiddos that are a little older and need loving homes : they never got stuck w diaper duty.

Who is the stricter parent? : they’re both pretty on level. i would say everyone THINKS its jack, but she’s actually pretty chill - why do y’all think freddy gets away w being such a maniac?

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? : jack, always.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? : they give ‘em money, and if they don’t use that on lunch that’s on them.

Who is the more loved parent? : jack. sorry, dora, but i’m just talking facts.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? : jack and dora go together for the united front.

Who cried the most at graduation? : dora.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? : jack.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? : dora, mostly. jack ain’t got the time.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? : solely by default dora bc now im thinking abt it how much does jack even eat.

Who does the grocery shopping? : dora goes weekly w freddy and clarice.

How often do they bake desserts? : dora does a nice dessert every night for the kiddos.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? : it’s up to everybody what their personal pref is.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? : jack ! 

Who is more likely to suggest going out? : dora ! 

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? : neither.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? : jack loves cleaning, so u know it b her.

Who is really against chores? : the kids.

Who cleans up after the pets? : they take after their pets. the kids r encouraged to take after theirs. 

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? : dora.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? : jack.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? : the kids go fishing nightly.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? : jack.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? : i dont know if they have a dog.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? : they go ALL OUT for EVERY holiday. even valentines. bc its fridays birthday.

What are their goals for the relationship? : i think they’re p set.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? : dora.

Who plays the most pranks? : neither.