#it’s probably really bad that through my whole experience of reading exile I’ve been picturing him as a whiny child…

[nanowatzophina]

Now for my monthly @exilethegame doodles.

I’m so bad at finishing things.

[ewdaviddd]

folklore think piece

for a lower case album such as this, i will be writing a lowercase think piece on the subject. i will not explain why. you get it or you don’t.

the 1: i have never been in love or any type of romantic relationship that left me with lasting feelings of any kind. but, on my fourth listen through of this song today, what once was just a promising and fun intro to this peasant girl summer gut punch, brought me to actual tears as i sat on the toilet in my lime green childhood bathroom as if i were mourning the one that got away (another great song). however, i am an expert on being hung up on the past, the “what could have been”, and made up hypotheticals. this song also introduces the film motif seen a lot in this album. i think dating an actor has really gotten to her. anyway what a killer way to begin, top notch stuff. how can a song be so fun and so soul crushing at the same time?

cardigan: when did taylor wear black lipstick? this is important to me. an old cardigan is an inherently bisexual article of clothing. that is not an opinion. i read it somewhere today and i believe it. this is the tip of the queer-coding ice berg in folklore, never fear. another reference, “tried to change the ending / peter losing wendy”. this year i wrote a movie script where both peter and wendy were both gay. coincidence? probably. basically this one is classic taylor poetry on every level and it being one of a trio in a larger story makes it that much better. yet again, high school romance is not a universal experience (like for me for instance) but haunting my “what-ifs” is going to haunt me for a long time. and the thought of someone saying i was their favorite cardigan makes me want to scream into a pillow.

the last great american dynasty: my favorite ts songs have always been the ones with detailed characters and stories and this one introduces the trope of the “mad woman” who comes back later on as well a long with many fun character details. at first this song is just cheeky and cute, very visual, a fun world to jump into. but then this particular stretch of lines makes your heart drop into your chest and reminds you why taylor isn’t just always fun and always cute and always creative, she also holds the ability to nimbly sock you in the gut when you least expect: “fifty years is a long time / holiday house sat quietly on that beach / free of women with madness, their men and bad habits / and then it was bought by me.” my jaw is still on the floor. and i’ve never bought a house myself. but i’ve spent numerous christmases having a marvelous time ruining everything (so i’ve been told) so this song still applies to my life.

exile (ft. bon iver): i’m gonna be honest. for as long as i can remember i have strongly disliked bon iver and i never remembered why. it is a matter of principle at this point. i just don’t trust him. but then taylor announced she wrote a song with him which filled me with tremendous anxiety. but i can rest easy. much like “the last time” this song is a ts and male artist collaboration i can get behind. also the film motif again: the only time i’ve left a theatre when i didn’t like a movie was never because movie tickets are so expensive and if i’m shelling out 11 dollars to sit in a chair, i’m staying the whole time no matter how bad the ending. but i probably would have left my sister’s keeper if i had seen it before if i’m being honest. so i get it. thats why i read spoilers for everything i watch before watching it, because the anxiety of worrying about how it ends make me not enjoy it in the first place. the end of this song: the call and response felt… ethereal? i felt like i was watching a broadway musical from the splash zone seats, crying as i was spat on.

my tears ricochet: this song is what i picture stepping outside in the middle of the night when an inch or so of snow has just fallen and i can see the flakes fall in front of a street light sounds like. or the scorned secret ex lover throwing themselves onto the coffin demanding to know why they weren’t enough.   which is to say it feels like a sign from some sort of god. yet again, haunting is brought up, an overt reference to the fact that this album will live in my brain rent free for eternity. for some reason this song reminds me of the relationship between hamilton and burr when burr kills hamilton. that could be because i just watched the disney+ recording last week. one lives, one dies, but neither survive, both pay for it. Which is a super romantic and understanding view on murder. both musical experiences equally chilling and moving. if i die under mysterious circumstances this will for sure be played at the funeral.

mirrorball: first off, this is my mom's favorite which is very important. also, it has skewered a very specific but also universal insecurity of mine; existing just to please others and yet miserably failing. it is comforting that ts is not a “natural’ and feels she must always “try try try” because i too lack natural ability, but also rarely “try” even just the one time. the best way i can describe listening to this song is walking through a silent disco where everyone else is listening to some classic lady gaga jam and you are listening to a calming lullaby sung very far away. but don’t let the soothing sounds fool you. it still will have you reflecting on what it means to look and be looked at. a dark rabbit whole, like falling through the looking glass. i’ve never actually read that book though so i could be wrong.

seven: i’m dumb and on my first listen of this song i thought she “hit her peak” at 7 clock as opposed to age seven. but i always saw taylor swift as someone with an early bedtime. also a fun discovery while writing this, “seven” is the 7th song on the track list. clever. although this song is young and innocent and so nostalgic for a time when screaming ferociously was a widely accepted form of expression, it also sounds like a very old secret someone is whispering to me. a love from long ago that lasts beyond the person being in your life, passed down to me and it all just sounds a little gay. not just because of the specific line to hiding in the closet. but that certainly doesn’t go unnoticed. when i was seven i was definitely in love with girls and assumed that was just what friendship was, playing pirates and making plans of running away together.

august: the eighth track for the eighth month. her mind. also my birth month so that’s special. controversial opinion: from what i’ve read most people seem to think illicit affair is the third song in the triage of teen love. i will strongly make the case that it's actually this one. first of all, the subject: a short lived summer fling, which is specifically mentioned later in “betty”. the central heartbreak of this song is liking someone who always belonged to someone else. yes, this song is a window into a different summer, far from pandemic central and the escapist imagery is delightful. but a whole song from the pov of the “other woman” to james and betty is just so much more fun. and there are two more specific lyrics that prove my point. “remember when i pulled up and said "get in the car”” you will see later comes back from the other person’s perspective. and most of all: the repeated line, “meet me behind the mall”? only teenagers make plans to meet up behind a mall. i rest my case. so now we have cardigan and august. two pieces of the puzzle.

this is me trying: i’m glad i now have a succinct message to send to anyone when they ask me what the hell i’m doing at any given moment. this song just sounds like regret and waste in the most self-assured and confident way. this is “back to december” with the training wheels off.  i have no apologies for my efforts at wasting all my potential. but in this song, taylor has opened her arms to me in a warm embrace and has forgiven me for all i’ve done wrong and reminds me to not take for granted the “try”. okay mom. i’m crying again, but okay.

illicit affair: this is the kind of thing that makes you feel sixteen, living in a dull suburb, while secretly screwing your 38 year old married neighbor who’s rich but wants to be an artiste. aka like a character in euphoria or something. it’s sexy and dangerous until you think about it and then it's just dingy and creepy. but this song starts and stays beautiful. most importantly, this song is too sad and depressing frankly, to be a part of the trilogy. we could never forgive james for leaving such a mess and making her a fool. you don’t want to be this girl. you want to walk up to her and shake her and yell “you exist and will not be ruined by any dumb man”. and that’s feminism.

invisible string: is it reductive if i say this one’s about joe? all my non-stan friends have asked me which ones are about him. we forgive them and point them in this direction. because it is lovely and beautiful that we are all tied to our soulmate for our whole lives before we ever meet them (because that would in fact mean that there is someone out there for everyone which might be naive or dumb but i am both of those things and whats the point of living if you don’t believe in the power of love). this honestly gives me “begin again” vibes in the best way. it’s red-era level with the wisdom of lover-era tay. sublime.

mad woman: the second mention of the “mad woman” as both taylor herself and the character in the story. as usual, tay stays calling out double standards and the manipulation of women into “going crazy” for expressing reasonable anger. I, personally, wish i could say “fuck you forever” without someone saying i’m “overreacting”. this is my least favorite song on the album and i’d still listen to it three times in a row and need to resist the urge to set a man’s lawn on fire. just girly things.

epiphany: i know she said this one is about her grandfather’s experience in the military but all i imagine is a slow montage of harry style’s character in “dunkirk” on the beach. and it’s beautiful. and much like my sophomore in high school self reading “all quiet on the western front” it evokes a pain from deep inside me that engulfs a loss i could never describe and a sadness too awful to witness. you will listen to this song and feel absolutely powerless to the will of the universe and it’s cruelty. and the faint but steady heart monitor beep in the background… i’ve never seen “grey’s anatomy” but i can imagine why it has so many fans sobbing. and let me end on this: two soldiers in some old war (meaning both men based on dunkirk) watching each other like this and living and dying together…gay.

betty: the first verse was pulled directly out of my subconscious fantasy of being in love in high school and it being so wonderful and painful and dramatic. and taylor riding a skateboard… is a mood. the song has been out for less than a week and it’s already a cold take to talk about how this is her gayest song to date (close runner-ups being reputation’s “dress” and “cardigan”). but of course i will still talk about it. the lyrics embody such authentic awkward gay energy (see the lesbian in booksmart for reference) and having been a 17 year old only three years ago, i can say with reasonably good authority that no 17 year old straight boy could stand in front of a crowd of peers and beg forgiveness from a girl he hurt. it’s just not realistic. these are all awkward, over-dramatic, young girls stumbling through love. and it’s awesome. james is the speaker of this song, and the subject of “august”, the summer fling that was never truly there due to james’ love for betty, the titular role of this song. thus completing the love triangle. and there are so many obvious references in this song to both “august” and “cardigan”. rhyming cardigan with car again makes me want to light myself on fire in the best way. i love it. “i dreamt of you all summer long” is the final nail in the coffin for the girl in “august” who was clearly just a place-holder. totally separate from taylor swift, my favorite word is porch. so the amount of times it appears in her lyrics is wonderful. say it out loud. it just feels nice. anyway, this song makes me want to be young and dumb and in love. the second can really only be tolerated because of the first and third. i hope the story has a happy-ending. if james were a boy i’d wish him the plague.

peace: the coming-of-age movie starring james and betty (and inez) is over. we have come to “the age” i guess. there’s a thought that’s gonna fester. if this song was just the line, “would it be enough if i could never give you peace?” over and over for four minutes it would still smash me to pulp and fill my body with helium gas. i can and will cause a car wreck when this comes on the aux. if this song is what being grown up is like (bare in mind grown up to me is like, 30) then i’m ready to be done coming of age. because i already worry if i’ll be at all enough for anyone and way too much for someone at the same time. but like all good poetry, this song isn’t about what it “means”, but how it “feels”. and this is new york city, the summer, pouring rain, a long walk home, desperately fearing and hoping they are there waiting for you.

hoax: a one-sided conversation between me and my stubborn clinical depression. i too, constantly stand alone on the cliff demanding a reason. one has not yet been presented. it operates both within and and against me. i could be bigger and stronger than it. but instead i tend to it like a prickly plant. (“no other sadness in the world will do”). there is nothing both sadder and funnier then the scene in “avatar: the last airbender” when prince zuko stands alone on a cliff screaming at the sky for lightning to strike him. i don’t know why this song reminds me so much of that. what a way to end such an emotional rollercoaster. it is so emotionally draining that it simply forces me to start folklore again from the top and listen to it all over again.  or take a long therapeutic nap.

there are no skips. and it will still surprise you on your 267th listen. proceed with caution.

i knew you, in a past life maybe. i have not met you yet, but folklore has made me believe you exist.

@taylorswift 10/10 good work

@taylornation this had to be shared and i don’t have a twitter so

[herefortayloronly]

folklore first impressions

i just want to preface this post with WHAT THE FUCK TAYLOR? For the past couple of months i’ve been trying to get back into the grooves of things after self-isolation and finding a new routine. Just when i thought things were getting back to normal (as normal as it can get with people still getting sick and things are still close down of course), taylor decides to say SURPRISE! i’m not gonna lie, when this annoucement was made, i was still in bed and asleep. my best friend texted me a picture with one “omg”. When i saw the picture i was like “oh no, what happened to taylor”. but then i read the caption and i woke the fuck right up. I feel like we all know how I feel, just like the rest of swifties. so I’m just gonna jump straight into the songs because this is going to be long.

--------------------------------------------

the 1 - this song is really interesting when you think of it as an introduction to all the characters you’re about to meet in the album and also the feelings you’re about to endure listening to the songs. 

cardigan - this song is easily my favorite song on the album. so the first listen, it didn’t really hit me but immediately listening to it the second time and watching the music video, i literally broke down. something about it is so hauntingly beautiful, it’s mature but also very classic taylor. something about it is so effortless and freeing. the use of piano (something that is gonna come up more in later songs) is so interesting and different for taylor. this one is definitely going to be on my top ten.

the last great american dynasty - as the song went along, i figured she was talking about her house in rhode island especially when she literally said rhode island lol. But when the line “and then it was bought by me“ hits. i literally got chills. it was such beautiful storytelling and songwriting. 

exile - i know there are people who don’t love it when taylor collaborates and have feature artists but when she has a feature artist that just works with her voice and create beautiful lyrics, magic happens! although i like all of collabs to different degrees, i can only say with my whole chest that The Last Time with Gary Lightbody is the best collab she has ever done. exile with Bon Iver is a close second. the back and forth between the two singers reminds me so much of The Last Time. the way their voice just balance each other out. it’s great.

my tears ricochet - i want this song play at my funeral. it is so haunting and tragic. but also full of anger and resentment. the way the song keeps building and building throughout gives me chills. another top favorites of mine. i’ve seen so many interpretations of this song and i think that’s why this song is so wonderful. it really hits in all different ways.

mirrorball - i feel like this song is so perfect for when you’re high or drunk. it is so groovy and chill and mellow. and while it sounds like a fun song, it’s also kinda taylor admitting that she has a problem with how she perceives herself. and the fact that she compares herself to a mirrorball because she knows that her own fault is trying to please everyone, trying to fit in. it’s a little sad but also comforting to know that she recognize that.

seven - another song that uses the piano so beautifully. this song reminds me so much of me and the group of girl friends i had in elementary school. something about that childhood nostalgia and how young friendships shape your childhood. i have a lot of love for them but i don’t talk to them anymore and i wouldn’t consider them close friends. but that’s okay because the memories and friendships were great. 

august - i just want to take a drive down the beach with the windows down while blasting this song! although the sound gives off a free and bright vibe, there’s also something bittersweet about it. it sounds like this person is yearning and hoping for something, and reminiscing on the nice memories and realizing that they are no more. it’s almost tragic.

this is me trying - The lyrics of this song is so sharp and tight but for some reason I can’t get into it. but i do love the imagery in the song. there’s a sense of desperation and eagerness and it’s also a little self-deprecating.

illicit affairs - i love the imagery in this song about a relationship that just ruins you. it didn’t just break your heart but it affects that way you see other parts of your life. 

invisible string - this song is so precious and sweet and whimsical. really reinforces her love for this person and i love that even with all the other songs this song is just a nice glimpse into their relationship. and i love this idea that fate is the reason why they are together. but not just fate, it’s also their past and their relationships with other people. 

mad woman - this song is fire!! another great use of the piano. i love this song is about women being mad and that’s okay and there’s a reason why women get mad. women being mad isn’t an irrational thing and she’s not overreacting. and when women do get bad, there’s passion there.

epiphany - i love the perspective of this song is of someone fighting because they are trying to protect the great good. i think this song is also a great tribute to all the essential workers and healthcare workers fighting in the frontline during the covid pandemic. 

betty - i love that this song is from the perspective of a person who cheated. i think taylor has been cheated on many times in her life and to see her step into the shoes of the cheater is really fascinating. this is another songs that proves taylor doesn’t have to know or feel a certain type of emotions to fully capture that perspective. she’s able to create a world and a narrative from just knowing how she wants to portray a certain emotion.

peace - so i said this song is similar to Dancing With Our Hands Tied and The Archer. it reminds me of taylor’s talking about her fears and troubles in a relationship. but also about how she has learned that she is okay with those fears now because she realized they don’t have to dictate her life and she’s not alone. in a way this song makes me happy and sad. it makes me happy because she’s in a place where she knows she wants to be with someone for the rest of her life and she found that forever love. it also makes me sad because she will always worry and be haunted by these past scars. and lets talk about the style of this song. this is the soft rock john mayer vibes that i always wanted taylor to do, so i love that she’s experimenting with that and i hope she does a rock album one day! i also think this is the first love song where she’s not just talking about how she felt but also how the other person feels. the other person also feels a sense of insecurities.

hoax - in the same vein as peace, i think this song is also about how two people in a relationship can be extremely hurt but still find ways to make sure to hold each other up. my favorite line in the song is “you have beaten my heart”. there is a really interesting double meaning to that line that i think holds so much weight. the person has beaten her heart as in he has hurt her in some way but he also has won her heart and also made it beat again.

--------------------------------------------

if you are here to see where i rank all of taylor’s album, you will be disappointed. i try my best not to rank her albums because i love all of her albums one way or another. they are all unique and hold a special place in my heart in different ways. i do have vague placements for them but at the end of the day, i love all of them. the best thing about taylor and being a fan of taylor is that i never have to pick one album to listen to and i don’t have to favor one over the other. if i am in the mood for a certain sound or style, i can choose from her catalog. i’m also not going to be insulting or trashing past albums because people have decided that folklore is her magnum opus. i can acknowledge that folklore is one of her best albums without bringing down other albums. i love each and every single album. it is impossible to rank and pick and choose among eight albums.

i’ve have the pleasure of witnessing taylor’s career for 10 years, since speak now. to see her go through so many changes, growth and hardships is really a sight to see. people are going to say this album is sad and tragic but i disagree. it isn’t the same sadness like how Red is sad. it’s more freeing and accepting. the sadness isn’t holding her back like in Red, it is actually pushing her to do and say things she probably wouldn’t have said before.

also this album isn’t meant to redefine a genre. It’s not meant to be something new, i’m sure there are plenty of artists doing something similar. taylor is just doing what she does best, incorporating all the best parts of her, her storytelling, songwriting, beautiful melodies, catchy hooks and putting a twist to it with a completely new production. i think that’s something very special about taylor. she’s just let music and ideas flow and always so open to experimentation. the fact that she’s arrived in this moment with this album is very special. 

the fact that she is able to create these characters and stories. this is why she’s an amazing writer, not because she writes about her own experience but because she can write about anything. goes to show how her mind works and how she operates. she doesn’t have to draw from her experience, she gets inspired by everything.

as for rankings. something really fun i did this time is keeping track of my rankings to see where each song moves. so i did a list for after 2 full listens, after 20 hours (this is friday 7/24 night) and 44 hours (saturday 7/25 night).  and because i didn’t finish this post saturday night i added in sunday’s 7/26 ranking as well. it’s really fun to see which song i was drawn to that day. 

as you can see, cardigan is a constant number one for me. it is the song of the album. i think a really good example of a song that grew on me after a while is peace. i think this song is definitely secured its spot among the top 5 of the album once it’s all said and done. in my opinion, anything after #10 i love them but it speaks to how really good this album is because it’s really hard after ranking 10 songs. the most notable thing is the recurring songs on the bottom, epiphany, mirrorball, illicit affairs, and this is me trying. now i actually love epiphany and illicit affairs, again speaks to how much i love the other songs and how great this album is. this is me trying is a song that i enjoy listening to but i don’t seek it out. i don’t crave listening to it but i do like it alot and i love the meaning of it. same with mirrorball, i love it but i’d have to be in the mood for it. all that said, right now i can say for 100% sure that cardigan, peace and my tears ricochet are my top favorites of the album. while the others are gonna keep moving with more listen and time. 

this album is really meant for taylor. she really is born to write an album like this. even though there are songs that aren’t personal and directly about taylor, she’s able to leave bits and pieces of herself, how she feels and her emotions in those songs. and i think that’s why not only is she a good writer but she’s also a good messenger. her voice and her delivery is one of my favorite things about her and the reason i love listening to her and her music. and this album emphasize that and highlight that talent. no other pop artists will be able to pull off an album like this and that’s why this album is made for taylor.

[about-feathers-and-claws]

Divinity Original Sin 2 : About Feathers and Claws -  The Divine Doom Deleting scenes make me want to draw them.

-------------------- [Deleted Scene] --------------------

“So... how is that book, uh?”

Sandor blinked, “Do you want me to tell you about it?”

“Well... Unlike all that other stuff you usually talk about, I probably will get it.”

Ifan averted his eyes down for a moment.

Sandor believed to see a small fragment of insecurity. Raised eyebrows, he remained silent for a moment, surprised for such revelation. Putting aside the book he was reading, he observed Ifan who a bit uncomfortable hid his face in the curve of Sandor's neck. 

Ifan was not a scholar. His knowledge of the world had always come from experience, from mistakes, from small teachings that other people gave him along his life. All what Sandor knew, that vast amount of fancy complicated words, of long logical procedures, of languages, of sources and books and authors; all that was completely out of his reach. He could follow the simplest concepts, but it was easy for him to get lost quickly. He knew he was not particularly the best companion for a scholar. And a scholar could not be the most suitable for him either. Still yet, here they were.

“Is it not boring for you?” Sandor said, his voice tinged with hesitation. 

“Give it a shot. You have been reading that book since I know you. Almost.” 

Sandor frowned. “Indeed, it's the same author but it's not the same book.”

Ifan closed his eyes, nuzzled in Sandor's neck breathing that scent of home-made bread that he liked so much, and embraced the man, letting his body relax. Sandor's voice, soft and calm, in combination with his warmth in that comfortable bed was the best combo to fall asleep. 

“Well, what is it about?” Ifan insisted.

“It's a romance story, you know it.”

“Who with who?”

“You really want me to tell you all the details?”

“I'm not going to read it. I prefer your voice narrating it.”

Sandor smiled in a silly way and moved in the bed to be more comfortable. He slid his arm under Ifan's neck and caressed his long hair while talking. “It's the story of a Knight, defending the Empire from an foreign nation. There is a lot of political stuff. He found in the enemy line a Mage that he could not kill in an encounter.”

“Why? Too powerful?”

“No. The Mage had amber eyes. It's a feature of people of an almost extinct tribe that the Knight is part of. The Knight has been shamed for that past all his life, so he was under different magical procedures to change the colour of his own eyes. They turned black. It's an interesting concept, you know? Because he is described as the embodiment of moral and rightness, but his actions are twisted and dark, pretty much like his eyes.”

“Mhn?. So, he is all about shiny armour but dark insides?”

“A bit. It's more like a consequence of his inner battle against himself. Don't accept yourself and you will be twisted by your own nature. That kind of thing.”

Ifan only sighed a bit heavy, as if the concept had resounded a little bit in his mind. Then, he felt Sandor's fingers scratching his scalp gently. Ifan left a peck on Sandor’s neck. 

“It doesn't look like a romance so far.” Ifan said.

“There are two more characters. The enemy Mage of amber eyes, who is attacking the Empire, and the son of the Queen of the Empire, who has been interested in the Knight since children.”

“Ah. A love story that started from childhood?”

“Kind of. The Knight and the Prince always played as friends, crossing certain limits in their teenage years. They... they had their first time together, in secret. It was lovely to read that part.” Now it was Sandor who sighed as his muscles tensed. “Exploring each other's body, their ability to feel, to share...” he swallowed hard, as his fingers tensed a little bit on Ifan's scalp. “First times shaping them, linking them, making their bond deeper...”

Ifan lifted his face a bit and saw Sandor's eyes. They were lost in the ceiling, only for a moment. Then, they lowered to see Ifan's. A long silence remained between them, observing each other.  It was hard to say anything that could ease that pain in Sandor. It was part of his scars. Ifan only stretched his neck and kissed Sandor in his lips, returning to nuzzle his neck. 

“So... the romance stops there?” Ifan said. 

Sandor cleared his throat and continued, “No. When the Knight fought against the Mage, and saw his amber eyes, he was shocked. He could not behead the Mage so he took him prisoner. His soldiers interviewed the Mage with hard manners. One day, when the Knight went to the dungeon to see the progress, he found the Mage heavily wounded. The soldiers of that Empire hated that tribe. The whole series tells you that the tribe of the Sun Eyes were savages that attacked the Empire every time they could. They had massacred whole towns and killed and tortured people who were under the Empire protection. They were evil, so it was expected that the Mage would be treated that way. However, the picture of his mistreated body made the Knight wonder about his own present and his own secret. Would torture have been his future, had he not changed the colour of his own eyes?. Somehow, that wounded Mage was the answer of his thoughts.”

“Mnh, it doesn't sound like a bad story to read.”

“Do you want me to stop? So you can read it later?”

“No, forget it. I’ve told you already, I prefer the sound of your voice.”

Sandor beamed and accommodated his body on the mattress, noticing how immediately Ifan lifted his heavy body to allow him to do so, returning to his neck immediately afterwards. Several pecks were left there.

“Well. The Knight observed the bloody tortured body of the Mage, and his intense Sun Eyes looking at him, with hatred. You can't pretend before me, the Mage said. He could sense the Knight's true nature. The Mage knew that the Knight was one of them.”

“He needed to kill that Mage right there, before he could speak and use that secret as blackmail.” Ifan said, his mercenary mind stepping ahead.

“Too late.”

“Uh?.” Ifan lifted his head and looked at Sandor. “He had already spoke to the torturers?”

Sandor nodded, arranging Ifan's hair behind his ear. “They were setting a trap for the Knight. That scene was interesting too. The Mage confessed him that he had spoken about his secret. The soldiers were just trying to confirm his past, since for the first time, they wondered why the Knight had so many holes in his family story. So, the Knight had to run away, but he wanted to hurt that Mage for what he had done. For ruining his life. So he took him and left the Empire forever. They ended up in a cave where the Knight had decided to torture the Mage to his death, but the defiance of those Sun Eyes was a terrible weight for him. He couldn't. He only could punch him. And bursting into tears, the Knight shouted at the mage all the ordeals he had to pass through in order to have a life far away from the curse of the Sun Eyes tribes. The Mage told him that he was silly, that there was no curse. That only one to truly blame was the Empire. The Mage explained the tribe's perspective. How the Empire had taken them as slaves, had used them as workers to death, had stolen their cities, and destroyed millenia of culture and knowledge. No book from the Sun Eyes had survived the raging and euphoric systemic erasure of the Empire. The Empire rewrote the whole story of the Sun Eyes. All convenient lies. That was the last step to complete the massacre. Only a few children were spared that survived far away from the borders of the Empire. The Mage was one of them, and he wanted to spread the Truth.”

“The hell of a story. The romance is not important.”

“No, it is. The Mage and the Knight spent so many years in exile, reconnecting the Knight to his heritage, opening his eyes to the Truth, that they fell in love. They became the last of their kind: one proud of being a Sun Eye, the other, ashamed of it, with his feature contaminated. Their romance is full of contradictions and revelations. The scenes of those two are incredibly... hot.”

Ifan laughed. “Why?”

Sandor cleared his throat. “Sex with magic.”

Ifan blushed, burying his face in Sandor's neck. “Don't tell me you got ideas from them.”

“No, they are not Sourcerers. But the electricity thing... well... It gave me a lead.”

Ifan chuckled, his rumbling chest resonating against Sandor's ribs.

“The drama starts when the Knight joins the cause against the Empire and has to face the Prince. The Prince loves him so he is desperate to recover the Knight. He promises him that he would protect him from the Empire hatred, that he would manage to convince his Mother to accept their relationship now that the Knight has been uncovered as a Sun Eye too. That he still trusted in him deeply. And the Knight faltered.”

“Hell, no!. Don't tell me the asshole kicks the Mage.”

“Did you remember the other night you were worried about my tears?” Sandor said, a bit ashamed of the fact.

Ifan chuckled, “You told me it was the book.”

“It was that scene. The Mage could not compete with the childhood love. And the Knight betrayed him. They set a trap for the Mage. And the last one of the Sun Eyes, with amber eyes, died.”

“What? That's terrible!”.

“The scene was terrible. The Mage was still loving the Knight as he died, knowing it could have been very different if the world were not be so cruel. And the Knight, quite late, was mortified with the sight of the Mage being killed with a massive cast of ice around his body. The cold suffocating him to death. A death that, in the fantasy of this book, rips always the Sun from their eyes. Quite poetic. The Knight felt hollow with that execution. But it was too late to do anything. He was now the last one of his kind, but one who had tarnished his nature in all senses. He was a betrayer. And remained by the Prince's side. He kept sleeping with the one who had loved him without knowing about his nature, the one that kept encouraging him not to be who he truly was. Just because they were children when everything started. They kept trying to maintain things like they used to be in that more innocent time... and so far... that's the story. First times are something too engraved in a person's soul. They have a unique weight.”

Sandor's tears ran across his cheeks, as he analysed the story loudly. Worried, Ifan rested his body on his elbows and wiped Sandor's tears, smiling gently at him. “It's a story, Sandy.”

“It's something that has been happening for many, many centuries. The name or the ranks of the characters may be different. But this story… has happened thousands of times. It must be happening right now too. Imagine that... poor mage. First times shape a person too deeply.” His lips trembled.

Ifan lent in, kissed him slowly and gently. He looked into his eyes, caressing his temple. “Maybe. But...Don't worry, Sandy. You don’t have amber eyes. And I'll be choosing you in any story.”

That terribly cheesy phrase made Sandor smile, and a couple of tears fell accidently while accepting that strong embrace around him.

[ilsa-makes-things]

"What Are You Supposed to Be?” Character Design in Dagorhir

A kender knight errant giggles in the woods battle.

We often neglect character design in Dagorhir (or Belegarth, Amtgard, Darkon, and other LARP-y games where the focus is on fighting and we play one character for years on end). Rather than consciously asking “how can I convey who my character is through my physical appearance?” players often slide into wearing the same old tunics, pants, and accessories as everyone else. Much to my shame, I’ve been the fantasy character who dresses like a generi-Viking and then gets miffed when people ask “what are you supposed to be?” That changed when I took a theatre costume design class. The revelation that I could start with the ideas I wanted to convey (ie, “this character is colorful and eccentric-- how do we translate that into their clothes?”) vs individual items (”well, I already have this tunic-- I guess I’ll have to make it work for my kit, somehow”) changed how I think about character design. 

Thinking about character design let me deliberately and effectively overhall my entire aesthetic. I like my kit a lot more, now, and I think more Dagorhir players would feel the same way if they front-loaded their design process. 

If you’re having trouble figuring out your garb, then, consider designing your kit like you’re costuming a character for a stage or film production. 

Front-Load Your Character Design

I built my “Dragonlance kender” kit piece by random piece for years, and it never added up to a cohesive whole. Every fantasy character hates hearing “what are you?” or “what are you supposed to be?”, and I used to get that a lot.

 Now that I’m front-loading the design process people successfully “read” my kit a lot better. Strangers at the ren faire call me “Tasslehoff,” and new Dagorhir acquaintances burst out laughing and call “watch your pouches!” when they see me pass holding my hoopak, one of the clearest identifying “props” my character carries. Front-loading character design means thinking before you build or acquire pieces of kit, rather than trying to add items that don’t work with the “look” you’re trying to build.

Let’s think about this like we’re designing a stage production. One of the first things we should do is ask what you want to convey to the audience about the character. If this were a play, our audience would be the people putting their butts into our auditorium. Since Dag is live-action and immersive, your audience is your peers. Either way, the first time someone sees your kit, they should be able to make some inferences about you. How wealthy is this character? How much of a conformist are they? What time period or profession do you want to portray? If your design conveys nothing much (or worse, you have to break character to explain your kit or justify the absence of something that’s not there— ie,"I am an elf-- I was just cursed to lose my ears!”), then your design probably needs more thought. *

Case Study: Spud the Ranger

Dude looks like a ranger-- but WHY? HOW??

All of that is a little overwhelming, so let’s boil it down to one important question. Say an average player sees your kit for the first time. Without ever speaking to you (and, because they don’t care, without minutely examining every detail of your kit— the family crest etched onto your belt buckle is for your own satisfaction), a stranger should still be able to say, “aha, that guy is ______,” and be decently close. What do you want that blank to be? What do you need to include in your kit to make them say that?

Your "blank” could be something super obvious like “that character is a dwarf!” or “that character is an Uruk-Hai!” Successfully portrayed, not half-assed dwarves and successfully portrayed, not half-assed Uruk-Hai have really clear physical markers— they’re easy to “read,” provided you know that the beard/axe or fangs/White Hand are the identifying traits. My kender-kit falls into this category: as long as you’ve read Weiss and Hickman’s books, the topknot, hoopak, pouches, and furry vest say “kender” to you.

If your character is something that doesn’t come with easy “markers,” you might have to back off a little and go for something more general. You could pick a fantasy archetype and pick “that character is a bard,” or “that character is a raggedy peasant” or “that character is a knight,” or you could pick something even less concrete, like “that character is evil,” or “that character is more interested in having fun than conforming.”��Any choice is valid-- the key is to define it to yourself and build your kit around it, rather than have your hodgepodge kit accidentally define it for you.

Let’s say we’re designing a character for Joe Newplayer. We’ll call Joe’s character Spud.

Joe Newplayer knows that it is gauche to corner his fellow players and tell them, in the third person, that Spud is a ranger who has some werewolf traits and has lived by hunting ever since he was exiled from his hometown, so Spud is going to try to convey this, instead, through costume (and later, through in-character roleplay). Good egg, Joe!

The very least Joe wants our audience to be able to say, of Spud, probably, is “aha, this dude spends a lot of time in the woods.” Going for “this dude is a hunter with a dark past” or “this dude has some weird canine traits” is a little harder, so that could be something to build up to (or, again, express through in-character roleplay).

What would help convey “dude who spends a lot of time in the woods”? Joe, having considered this a bit, might be tempted to start listing individual clothing items he wants to buy-- cloak! Hood! Some dope-ass boots!-- but I would encourage him to hold back. Rather than listing individual clothing items, start with some elements of design, like line, mass, color, texture and movement. Start by thinking about your design as a whole, not by over-focusing on individual pieces, and your costume will be more coherent, unique, and effective.

The Elements of Design

Do we want Spud to appear bulky or slender? A confident character might take up a lot of space, while one who hopes to fade into the background might be drawn more tightly in. Should Spud’s silhouette be shaggy, many-corner’d, or streamlined? What sort of textures are right for a dude who spends a lot of time in the woods? What sorts of colors? Should the materials Spud wears be light and floaty, heavy and stiff, or something in-between? WHY?

Hold off on the internal character reasons for any of the “whys” (ie, “I have this cloak because my mother made it, and she died, so I wear it to remember her”) and keep your focus tight to the audience. Joe might choose a silhouette that’s top-heavy with fur or leather shoulder armor and tapers down to through the lower legs, which very quietly suggests the lean lone wolf. Joe might chose muted, natural colors (which might say that the character wants to fade into the woods), or weirdly clashing or worn-out ones, which might say (though this is getting rather too subtle, but that’s his choice) that he doesn’t care about clothes or society’s expectations (or perhaps that he’s colorblind— canine attributes! ;) ) Joe might distress his fabrics suggest a character who’s down on his luck, or add lots of layers to imply that he carries everything he owns on his back because he doesn’t have a fixed address.

Remember that each choice you make will inform the physical experience of wearing the costume, too. A costume that the actor can’t move in is bad design! What does this character need to do in their clothes, and how do the elements of design you established above intersect with that? Do they need to physically carry all their worldly goods? Will they sleep or fight in this outfit? Will they need help donning their fancy clothes? No matter how independent and stand-offish your traveling female thief is, she’ll probably need help lacing up a back-fastening corset, so ponder the physical realities of the garments you might include, and ask if they fit with your big picture.

If this is overwhelming, pick one adjective and build your design around that, instead. Do you want people to see your character as, primarily, tough? Independent? Scatterbrained? Confident? Timid? Otherworldly? Brainstorm how your adjective could bleed out onto their clothing— not just by giving them individual props (this character is tough because he wears lots of knives!), but by thinking in terms, again, of audience impression (this character is tough because he wears hard textures and has no extra frills!). Grab a print-out croquis (try here) and do some drawings, like you’re making paper dolls. (It’s okay if they’re shitty. Mine are hilariously bad.) How can you make a character look confident, tough, timid, or otherworldly using shapes, colors, and textures, rather than building up from individual items?

For more insight on how to do this, consider reading more about costume design for film and stage. This is a good, quick crash-course in how to start thinking about character design. Give it a shot!

In Conclusion

Start from the ground up and ask what you want to convey to your “audience”— ie, your fellow fighters. The result will be more coherent than if you build stuff up, piece by piece.

Next time, I put my own neck on the chopping block as we look at how I built up my Ilsa character using some of these elements of design. ‘til then, tell me what YOU do to design your character! :)

—

*There’s an argument in favor of subtlety— you probably don’t want to look like a cookie-cutter ranger— but the failure state of “subtle” often “incoherent” or “muddled.” Pick your poison. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[ramialkarmi]

'Star Wars: The Last Jedi' director Rian Johnson reacts to the backlash and addresses the movie's most shocking moments

"Star Wars: The Last Jedi" writer-director Rian Johnson addressed the backlash from fans who say his movie isn't like the original trilogy.

He explained how the fan theories of where the story would go after "The Force Awakens" didn't affect writing the script.

He said he hoped a female director would soon make one of the "Star Wars" movies — perhaps in the new trilogy he's creating.

WARNING: Spoilers below if you haven't seen "Star Wars: The Last Jedi."

It's getting into the evening hours in Los Angeles on the first full day "Star Wars: The Last Jedi" is in theaters. Rian Johnson, the director of the biggest movie of the year, has not stopped moving for a week.

First Los Angeles for the press junket. Then Japan. Back to LA for the flashy world premiere. Followed by a jump to London. Now back again to LA for a final round of press — for now.

When Johnson, 43, gets on the phone, he sounds weary from jetting around the globe. But he perks up when it's time to talk about "The Last Jedi." It's not just a movie he spent the past four years of his life writing and then directing. It's more than that.

Johnson has been a lifelong fan of the franchise, and he even chose to go to film school at the University of Southern California because the creator of "Star Wars," George Lucas, went there. In many ways, his entire career has been leading up to this point.

You can see many traces of Johnson's filmography in "The Last Jedi" — risk-taking ("Brick"), lighthearted moments ("The Brothers Bloom"), and world-building ("Looper"). But it's his love of the "Star Wars" franchise and his drive to tell a story that builds on "The Force Awakens" with something new and challenging that shines through.

It's that newness that has divided "Star Wars" fans about "The Last Jedi." Though many appreciated a movie that didn't just feed off the hallmarks of the original trilogy, others have voiced their disappointment with Johnson for breaking fresh ground.

That's where we began our wide-ranging conversation with Johnson. The director also touched on not being distracted by fan expectations, the challenge of bringing Luke Skywalker back into the saga, why Captain Phasma isn't featured more prominently in the movie, and what he hopes to accomplish with the new "Star Wars" trilogy he's creating.

The following has been lightly edited for clarity and length.

Jason Guerrasio: Like making any "Star Wars" movie, the director can't win. People complained that "The Force Awakens" was too much like the original trilogy. With your movie, the knock is it's nothing like the original trilogy. What are your thoughts when you hear that take?

Rian Johnson: Having been a "Star Wars" fan my whole life, and having spent most of my life on the other side of the curb and in that fandom, it softens the blow a little bit.

I'm aware through my own experience that, first of all, the fans are so passionate, they care so deeply — sometimes they care very violently at me on Twitter. But it's because they care about these things, and it hurts when you're expecting something specific and you don't get it from something that you love. It always hurts, so I don't take it personally if a fan reacts negatively and lashes out on me on Twitter. That's fine. It's my job to be there for that. Like you said, every fan has a list of stuff they want a "Star Wars" movie to be and they don't want a "Star Wars" movie to be. You're going to find very few fans out there whose lists line up.

And I also know the same way the original movies were personal for Lucas. Lucas never made a "Star Wars" movie by sitting down and thinking, "What do the fans want to see?" And I knew if I wrote wondering what the fans would want, as tempting as that is, it wouldn't work, because people would still be shouting at me, "F--- you, you ruined 'Star Wars,'" and I would make a bad movie. And ultimately, that's the one thing nobody wants.

And let me just add that 80-90% of the reaction I've gotten from Twitter has been really lovely. There's been a lot of joy and love from fans. When I talk about the negative stuff, that's not the full picture of the fans at all.

Guerrasio: Even though the movie is the second part of a trilogy, it really feels like a standalone. Was that a goal of yours?

Johnson: Well, I wanted it to be a full meal. I wanted it to be a satisfying experience unto itself — because when you go into a theater, that's what you always want.

I did want to pick it up where the last one left off. I did want to do service to these characters in a way that felt consistent. And I wanted to leave it in a place where you felt you were excited for the potential of what could come next, and you're invested maybe a little more deeply in these characters and where they end up. In that way it is a middle chapter — it has to function like that.

But you know, it's also a movie, and I wanted to give people a full "Star Wars" experience. I wanted to give them something where they come out of the theater and feel totally satisfied.

Guerrasio: Speaking for myself, the satisfaction is that you move the trilogy someplace beyond the hot takes fans had since "The Force Awakens." And you did that by making some very shocking choices on who we will no longer see beyond this movie, theoretically. Has it been fun waiting for this movie to come out knowing "The Last Jedi" is a very different movie than what fans expected? Or was it panic that maybe your take could miss the mark?

Johnson: [Laughs.] It's been a combination of both of those things. When I was writing the movie, I was doing it while they were shooting "The Force Awakens." So it wasn't like I was reading all these theories online and being at my typewriter and going "Ha! Ha! Gotcha!" It was me coming up with a story. I was writing purely from a personal reaction to the script of "The Force Awakens" and what they were shooting. Snoke, for example, I probably would have done the same thing regardless.

Guerrasio: Oh yeah?

Johnson: Yeah. Snoke's fate came entirely out of Kylo's arc and realizing that in this movie the most interesting thing to me was for Kylo to be ascendant — to start by knocking the shaky foundation out from Kylo's feet and then building him back up into a complicated but credible villain by the end of it. And one that Rey now has a more complex relationship with than just "I hate you, I want to kill you."

And once I kind of landed on that, it quickly became evident that, OK, what is Snoke's place in this? If I build Kylo up to that point, the most interesting thing to carry into the next movie is Kylo running things, not any echo of the emperor/pupil relationship. And you realize the dramatic potential of that, and it just makes a lot of sense from the story point of view.

Guerrasio: Was coming up with how Luke Skywalker would come out of his self-imposed exile a challenge to write?

Johnson: Yeah. It's something that, early in the process, the first thing I had to crack in the movie is why Luke is on that island. I had to figure out something that made sense, and you don't know much about where's Luke's head is at coming out of "The Force Awakens."

But what you do know is his friends are out fighting the good fight, and he's taken himself out of the equation. So for me growing up, I know Luke as a hero. I know that he must think he's doing the right thing by taking himself out of the equation, and that means he thinks the best thing for the galaxy is that he's not a part of this and, by extension, that the Jedi are not a part of this. So that leads you down a certain path.

Guerrasio: And how did you come to the realization that this would be the end of Skywalker?

Johnson: As I worked out that his arc was going to be coming to a place where he does this big heroic act that is going to be spread throughout the galaxy — basically taking back the mantle of Luke Skywalker, a Jedi master, a legend — it just slowly became clear to me that it would be this big grand act. It would be an act of mythmaking. And if there was ever going to be a place in this entire trilogy to give him this emotional moment of a goodbye, this was probably going to be the most emotionally potent place to do it.

Guerrasio: In many ways, this is Luke's coda.

Johnson: Yes, exactly. But I also have to say I'm not writing the next one, and I'm not sure what J.J. [Abrams] and [screenwriter] Chris Terrio are going to do in the next one with Luke.

But setting up possibilities for the next one, honestly, it seems much like Obi-Wan going where he did after "New Hope." The possibilities seemed even more exciting in terms of what Luke's place could be in the next chapter with him entering into this other realm as opposed to him having a lightsaber and being with our heroes. It opened more possibilities as opposed to fewer.

I was holding my breath when I did it and I realized all these things, though I also thought, "S---."

Guerrasio: And how did Mark Hamill react to all of this?

Johnson: It wasn't the thing he wanted to necessarily hear. [Laughs.] Understandably so. Mark had all these years to think what Luke's triumphant return would be. Luke's the hero coming back into this story, and the fact that this character and this movie could not be that — this character in this movie was by necessity what he had to be, and also in relation to Rey, that brought its own necessity.

If he comes in as just an optimistic fighter for the good guys, that gives Rey nothing to bounce up against — that's just an older version of Rey. So it's not what Mark had in his head initially, and that's why he's spoken very openly about his being caught off guard by the script and where the character ends up. But I knew this is where it had to be. We got into the conversations, and we got into the work, and we talked, and we argued, and we discussed, and that process ended up being very good for the character and also for our working relationship. It was a very good one.

Guerrasio: Like most movies, this one was crafted in post, you guys shot a lot.

Johnson: Yes.

Guerrasio: Is the lack of Captain Phasma in the movie just simply that most of her scenes were left on the cutting room floor?

Johnson: There wasn't a ton of Phasma that we shot for this. The God's honest truth is, if you take a look at the movie, it's so full already. There are so many characters to serve already, and it's tough because Phasma really enters the movie when she needs to, and she does exactly what she needs to do in it. She's someone at the tail end of Finn's journey that represents his past for him to have this cathartic moment of being on the side of good and fighting her.

The notion of having a side plot of Phasma throughout the course of the film — look, I love Gwen [Christie]. I love Phasma. It would have been fun. But it just wasn't the story we were telling. There just wasn't a place for it. We already had quite a full plate to deal with in terms of all the other characters.

Guerrasio: So what you're saying is you've basically helped build the next Boba Fett-level fan-obsessed character for the "Star Wars" saga.

Johnson: [Laughs.] Look, I'm bummed about it too. Absolutely. I wish we could have more Phasma. Just the truth of it is there wasn't room for her in this movie. She's so badass, I wish it was her story. But it isn't. Maybe there will be one eventually at some point.

Guerrasio: I like that tease.

Johnson: [Laughs.]

Guerrasio: In regards to you taking on a new "Star Wars" trilogy, do you have a notebook filled of just ideas that would be cool to plug into this universe, or are you really going into this with a blank page?

Johnson: What's exciting to me right now is the open blue sky of it and the potential of it. I wish I had a file cabinet full of "Star Wars" ideas just in case, but also it's great because I can start from the beginning and work forward.

As opposed to having stuff I think would be cool, the thing that I think is cool is to figure out what the story will be and what character we're going to follow and build it from there. It's easy to come up with cool "Star Wars" stuff. It's just like grabbing your toys and starting to play. The real question is what the story will be — how are we going to create something that's really going to be a new and inspiring "Star Wars" story.

Guerrasio: It sounds like you will direct the first movie of this trilogy and then go on and produce the other two.

Johnson: We'll see. I'm not sure yet.

Guerrasio: But if that holds, would you push to have a female director do at least one of those movies? Is that important to you?

Johnson: Hell yeah. I think that would be fantastic. Again, I don't know how it's going to go. I'm going to write and direct the first one and tell the story for the rest of them. But yeah, there are so many talented female directors that I would love to see do one of these movies. Look, I hope it happens in a "Star Wars" movie even before that! Going forward, that's something I would absolutely love to see.

Guerrasio: Give me the one scene/shot in "The Last Jedi" that, regardless of how many times you've seen it, you are pretty impressed that you pulled it off.

Johnson: [Laughs.] It was an early image that I had. I really love that slow-motion shot of Kylo and Rey back-to-back with the guards coming from all the sides in Snoke's chambers. And look, there were a lot of people whose work went into it to design the space and the guards, the stunt work, but that was a moment that I had just always held dear to me, and it's one of those very rare things where the realization of it on screen I just feel like, "Ah, we got it!" It makes me happy.

"Star Wars: The Last Jedi" is now in theaters.

SEE ALSO: 'The Last Jedi' is a super-sized 'Star Wars' movie that will make you laugh and cry

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: 10 things you missed in the 'Avengers: Infinity War' trailer

[ramialkarmi]

'Star Wars: The Last Jedi' director Rian Johnson reacts to the backlash and addresses the movie's most shocking moments

"Star Wars: The Last Jedi" writer-director Rian Johnson addresses the fan backlash that his movie isn't like the original trilogy.

He explains how the fan theories of where the story would go after "The Force Awakens" didn't affect writing the script.

He hopes a female director will make one of the "Star Wars" movies — soon or in the new "Star Wars" trilogy he's creating.

WARNING: Spoilers below if you haven’t seen “Star Wars: The Last Jedi.”

It's getting into the evening hours in Los Angeles on the first full day "Star Wars: The Last Jedi" is in theaters. Rian Johnson, director of the biggest movie of the year, has not stopped moving for a week.

First L.A. for the press junket. Then Japan. Back to L.A. for the flashy world premiere. Followed by a jump to London. Now back again to L.A. for a final round of press — for now.

When Johnson, 43, gets on the phone, he sounds weary from jetting around the globe. But he perks up when it’s time to talk about “The Last Jedi.” It’s not just a movie he spent the last four years of his life writing and then directing. It's more than that. Johnson has been a lifelong fan of the franchise, and even chose to go to film school at the University of Southern California because “Star Wars” creator George Lucas went there. In many ways his entire career has been leading up to this point.

You can see many traces of Johnson's filmography in “The Last Jedi” — taking risks (“Brick”), lighthearted moments (“The Brothers Bloom”), and world building (“Looper”). But it's his love of the “Star Wars” franchise and drive to tell a story that builds on “The Force Awakens” with something new and challenging that really shines through.

It’s that newness that’s divided “Star Wars” fans about “The Last Jedi.” Though many appreciated a movie that didn’t just feed off the hallmarks of the original trilogy, others have voiced their disappointment with Johnson for breaking fresh ground.

That’s where we began our wide-ranging conversation with Johnson. The director also touched on not being distracted by fan expectations, the challenge of bringing Luke Skywalker back into the saga, why Captain Phasma isn’t more prominently featured in the movie, and what he hopes to accomplish with the new “Star Wars” trilogy he’s creating.

The following has been lightly edited for clarity and brevity.

Jason Guerrasio: Like making any "Star Wars" movie, the director can't win. People complained that "The Force Awakens" was too much like the original trilogy. With your movie, the knock is it's nothing like the original trilogy. What are your thoughts when you hear that take?

Rian Johnson: Having been a "Star Wars" fan my whole life and having spent most of my life on the other side of the curb and in that fandom, it softens the blow a little bit. I'm aware through my own experience that, first of all, the fans are so passionate, they care so deeply, sometimes they care very violently at me on Twitter. But it's because they care about these things and it hurts when you're expecting something specific and you don't get it from something that you love. It always hurts so I don't take it personally if a fan reacts negatively and lashes out on me on Twitter. That's fine. It's my job to be there for that. Like you said, every fan has a list of stuff they want a "Star Wars" movie to be and they don't want a "Star Wars" movie to be. You're going to find very few fans out there whose lists line up. 

And I also know the same way the original movies were personal for [George] Lucas. Lucas never made a "Star Wars" movie by sitting down and thinking, "What do the fans want to see?" And I knew if I wrote wondering what the fans would want, as tempting as that is, it wouldn't work because people would still be shouting at me, "F--- you, you ruined 'Star Wars,'" and I would make a bad movie. And ultimately that's the one thing nobody wants. And let me just add that 80%-90% of the reaction I've gotten from Twitter has been really lovely. There's been a lot of joy and love from fans. When I talk about the negative stuff, that's not the full picture of the fans at all. 

Guerrasio: Even though the movie is the second part of a trilogy, it really feels like a standalone. Was that a goal of yours?

Johnson: Well, I wanted it to be a full meal. I wanted it to be a satisfying experience unto itself. Because when you go into a theater that's what you always want. I did want to pick it up where the last one left off, I did want to do service to these characters in a way that felt consistent. And I wanted to leave it in a place where you felt you were excited for the potential of what could come next and you're invested maybe a little more deeply in these characters and where they end up. In that way it is a middle chapter, it has to function like that. But, you know, it's also a movie and I wanted to give people a full "Star Wars" experience. I wanted to give them something where they come out of the theater and feel totally satisfied. 

Guerrasio: Speaking for myself, the satisfaction is that you move the trilogy someplace beyond the hot takes fans had since "The Force Awakens." And you did that by making some very shocking choices on who we will no longer see beyond this movie, theoretically. Has it been fun waiting for this movie to come out knowing "The Last Jedi" is a very different movie than what fans expected? Or was it panic that maybe your take could miss the mark?

Johnson: [Laughs.] It's been a combination of both of those things. When I was writing the movie I was doing it while they were shooting "The Force Awakens." So it wasn't like I was reading all these theories online and being at my typewriter and going "Ha! Ha! Gotcha!" It was me coming up with a story. I was writing purely from a personal reaction to the script of "The Force Awakens" and what they were shooting. Snoke, for example, I probably would have done the same thing regardless.

Guerrasio: Oh, yeah?

Johnson: Yeah. Snoke's fate came entirely out of Kylo's arc and realizing that in this movie the most interesting thing to me was for Kylo to be ascendant. To start by knocking the shaky foundation out from Kylo's feet and then building him back up into a complicated but credible villain by the end of it. And one that Rey now has a more complex relationship with than just, "I hate you, I want to kill you." And once I kind of landed on that it quickly became evident that, okay, what is Snoke's place in this? If I build Kylo up to that point the most interesting thing to carry into the next movie is Kylo running things. Not any echo of the Emperor/pupil relationship. And you realize the dramatic potential of that and it just makes a lot of sense from the story point of view. 

Guerrasio: Was coming up with how Luke Skywalker would come out of his self-imposed exile a challenge to write?

Johnson: Yeah. It's something that early in the process the first thing I had to crack in the movie is why Luke is on that island. I had to figure out something that made sense and you don't know much about where's Luke's head is at coming out of "The Force Awakens." But what you do know is his friends are out fighting the good fight and he's taken himself out of the equation. So for me growing up, I know Luke as a hero, I know that he must think he's doing the right thing by taking himself out of the equation, and that means he thinks the best thing for the galaxy is that he's not a part of this. And by extension that the Jedi are not a part of this. So that leads you down a certain path. 

Guerrasio: And how did you come to the realization that this would be the end of Skywalker?

Johnson: As I worked out that his arc was going to be coming to a place where he does this big heroic act that is going to be spread throughout the galaxy — basically taking back the mantel of Luke Skywalker, a Jedi master, a legend — it just slowly became clear to me that it would be this big grand act. It would be an act of mythmaking. And if there was ever going to be a place in this entire trilogy to give him this emotional moment of a goodbye, this was probably going to be the most emotionally potent place to do it.

Guerrasio: In many ways this is Luke's coda.

Johnson: Yes, exactly. But I also have to say, I'm not writing the next one and I'm not sure what J.J. [Abrams] and [screenwriter] Chris Terrio are going to do in the next one with Luke. But setting up possibilities for the next one, honestly, it seems much like Obi-Wan going where he did after "New Hope." The possibilities seemed even more exciting in terms of what Luke's place could be in the next chapter with him entering into this other realm as opposed to him having a lightsaber and being with our heroes. It opened more possibilities as opposed to fewer. I was holding my breath when I did it and I realized all these things. Though I also thought: "s---."

Guerrasio: And how did Mark Hamill react to all of this?

Johnson: It wasn't the thing he wanted to necessarily hear. [Laughs.] Understandably so. Mark had all these years to think what Luke's triumphant return would be. Luke the hero coming back into this story, and the fact that this character and this movie could not be that. This character in this movie was by necessity what he had to be, and also in relation to Rey, that brought its own necessity. If he comes in as just an optimistic fighter for the good guys that gives Rey nothing to bounce up against, that's just an older version of Rey. So it's not what Mark had in his head initially and that's why he's spoken very openly about his being caught off guard by the script and where the character ends up. But I knew this is where it had to be. We got into the conversations, and we got into the work, and we talked, and we argued, and we discussed, and that process ended up being very good for the character and also for our working relationship. It was a very good one.

Guerrasio: Like most movies, this one was crafted in post, you guys shot a lot. 

Johnson: Yes.

Guerrasio: Is the lack of Captain Phasma in the movie just simply that most of her scenes were left on the cutting room floor?

Johnson: There wasn't a ton of Phasma that we shot for this. The God's honest truth is, if you take a look at the movie, it's so full already. There are so many characters to serve already and it's tough because Phasma really enters the movie when she needs to and she does exactly what she needs to do in it. She's someone at the tail end of Finn's journey that represents his past for him to have this cathartic moment of being on the side of good and fighting her. The notion of having a side plot of Phasma throughout the course of the film, look, I love Gwen [Christie], I love Phasma, it would have been fun, but it just wasn't the story we were telling. There just wasn't a place for it. We already had quite a full plate to deal with in terms of all the other characters.

Guerrasio: So what you're saying is you've basically helped build the next Boba Fett-level fan obsessed character for the "Star Wars" saga.

Johnson: [Laughs.] Look, I'm bummed about it too. Absolutely. I wish we could have more Phasma. Just the truth of it is there wasn't room for her in this movie. She's so badass, I wish it was her story but it isn't, maybe there will be one eventually at some point. 

Guerrasio: I like that tease.

Johnson: [Laughs.] 

Guerrasio: In regards to you taking on a new "Star Wars" trilogy, do you have a notebook filled of just ideas that would be cool to plug into this universe or are you really going into this with a blank page?

Johnson: What's exciting to me right now is the open blue sky of it and the potential of it. I wish I had a file cabinet full of "Star Wars" ideas just in case, but also it's great because I can start from the beginning and work forward. As opposed to having stuff I think would be cool, the thing that I think is cool is to figure out what the story will be and what character we're going to follow and build it from there. It's easy to come up with cool "Star Wars" stuff. It's just like grabbing your toys and starting to play. The real question is what the story will be. How are we going to create something that's really going to be a new and inspiring "Star Wars" story. 

Guerrasio: It sounds like you will direct the first movie of this trilogy and then go on and produce the other two.   Johnson: We'll see. I'm not sure yet. 

Guerrasio: But if that holds, would you push to have a female director do at least one of those movies? Is that important to you?

Johnson: Hell yeah. I think that would be fantastic. Again, I don't know how it's going to go. I'm going to write and direct the first one and tell the story for the rest of them. But yeah, there are so many talented female directors that I would love to see do one of these movies. Look, I hope it happens in a "Star Wars" movie even before that! Going forward that's something I would absolutely love to see.

Guerrasio: Give me the one scene/shot in "The Last Jedi" that regardless how many times you've seen it you are pretty impressed that you pulled it off.

Johnson: [Laughs.] It was an early image that I had, I really love that slow-motion shot of Kylo and Rey back-to-back with the guards coming from all the sides in Snoke's chambers. And look, there were a lot of people whose work went into it to design the space and the guards, the stunt work, but that was a moment that I had just always held dear to me and it's one of those very rare things where the realization of it on screen I just feel like, "Ah, we got it!" It makes me happy.

"Star Wars: The Last Jedi" is currently playing in theaters.

SEE ALSO: "The Last Jedi" is a super-sized "Star Wars" movie that will make you laugh and cry

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: LL COOL J: The biggest workout mistakes people make at the gym