#it’s really perfect for everyone but i do think ted’s family was better in england

[lunaticamic]

ted lasso final made me cry tears and snot

[use-a-little-patience]

James Potter Imagine Part 4

Hello lovlies, I hope you’re all doing well. I noticed that all of my previous imagines were quite short, so I made this one a little longer. This is the HAPPY ENDING. I used some German here, my friend helped me (duhh), but if the translation isn’t correct, please do tell me. I will publish the sad one tomorrow. Please tell me what you think of this one and thanks again for reading. 

xoxo

Part 1   Part 2   Part 3

Time flies pretty fast when you’re constantly doing something and not thinking about things that don’t matter. And that’s just what you’ve been trying to do for the past year.

Germany was now the place you called your home and it was nothing but wonderful here. You had a new job which was even better than the previous one. At first it was hard, because you didn’t know a word in German and had zero friends here. But people were nice and friendly and they wanted to know everything about the wizarding world in Britain.

You lived in a house, a little away from town, which you rented at first, but when you got promoted, you bought it with your own money. Surprisingly the prices here were much lover than in England. Everything was a lot different here.

You didn’t fool yourself, you missed James. And you knew he was looking for you. The only person you told where you were was your cousin Andromeda Tonks. You didn’t exactly tell her why you were leaving all of a sudden, but you made it clear that you and James were no longer together.

The first letter that you got from her left you in tears. James was allegedly looking for you all over the country and that he was desperate. The second letter was just like the first one, James was still trying to find you. The following five letters were all similar, but with each of them, Andormeda was mentioning James less and less. And eventually, there was no word about James at all.

He’s finally over me, you thought. That’s what I want, right?

The thought of James getting over you didn’t make you happy. You still loved him and you sometimes wished you would just go back and forgive him.

But it wasn’t that easy. He cheated on you. Multiple times. You couldn’t just ignore that. How could you leave that behind? Could you forgive him, if he asked?

James’ life changed aswell. After Lily told him he was going to be a father, even though he felt guilty, he felt slightly happy. He always wanted children. For sure that didn’t change how he felt about Lily or you, but she was still the mother of his child.

Eventually, as Lily’s bump was growing and growing, everyone around James just kind of got used to her being with him. Euphemia and Fleamont weren’t happy when they found out about James’ affair, but the fact that they were going to be grandparents made them forget all about you.

With Lily, Marlene and Alice were also hanging out with “the group” more. And they were acting as if it always was like that. James didn’t mind them around, it seemed as if he agreed with everything Lily said or wanted. The moment his life changed, he locked himself in his own little world and didn’t let anyone in. He talked only if someone asked him something and if it was about his son - Harry.

The only ones who didn’t just give in were Remus and Sirius. They couldn’t believe their ears when Lily happily announced that her and James were moving in together.

“Are you going to sell your house?” Remus asked James one evening, when it was just him, Sirius and James. Boxes around them were packed with the stuff he and you used to own.

James nodded. “She wanted to move in here, but...that would just be wrong.” He said ss he looked at his glass of firewhiskey. Maybe because this was your house, which was full of memories of you. He couldn’t just let Lily move in and sleep in bed where you used to lie in. So instead he let her choose a new house that he would buy her.

“Mate, I’m sorry. But I just can’t do it.” Sirius said.

Remus and James looked up at him.

“What?”

“This...I mean, you are my best friend, but whatever this is, your new life, I can’t be part of it. It’s too much.”

For Sirius, it was always you and James. He was his best friend and he was close with you too. And he never really liked Lily. Not after what she did. He knew she got pregnant on purpose, knowing James wouldn’t leave her if a baby was in the picture. That was rotten, Sirius thought. That child was not conceived with love and he would have to grow up with parents whose relationship was not healthy.

And James made him Harry’s godfather. For the love of Godric.

Not to mention what he had to go through because of Marlene, who still didn’t understand that they will never be together. She would always show up at James’ house, when he did. Sirius knew Lily would set this up. He hated her even more for that.

And now Sirius had enough.

“What do you mean Sirius? What’s wrong with my life?” James asked a little angry.

“Everything. And I know you’re trying to do what is right James, but it’s killing you. All those fake smiles and pretending to be a perfect family. Lily is telling everyone that you two are going to get married soon, but you didn’t even propose to her. Did she made that decision for you, James?”

Potter rolled his eyes. “What else should I do? I lost (y/n), so it doesn’t matter anyway.”

“Yeah, you screwed it up. But why are you screwing up everything else as well? I know you don’t love Lily. And I swear James, if I see Marlene one more time, I’m done.”

James’ tired eyes looked at his best friend with sadness. There was silence between them for a while, Remus looking at James and Sirius nervously.

“You know I tried to find her.” James spoke all of a sudden. Sirius grey orbs looked from his hands to Prongs.

“I would give everything to see her again. I love her. That is the truth. But it’s not about me anymore. It seemed like it never was. (Y/n) doesn’t want me to find her, she’s done with me and I need to accept that.”

The words hurt and it was in that moment Sirius realized that they were no longer in school, they were no longer kids who could do whatever they came up with.

“And Harry’s here. I can’t just leave him.” James added. “I love him more than anything...sometimes, I wished he was (y/n)’s son, but he’s not.” He confessed.

Little did Remus know that Lily was listening to their conversation from upstairs, but he still let James talk.

“I’m sorry.” Sirius whispered, obviously in a bad mood, as he took his keys, his leather (faux ) jacket and left James’ new home.

He was angry at him, at himself and  at you for leaving. Like him and Remus meant nothing to you. Just when he was about to leave, Marlene showed up. Her hair was made in one single braid and she was wearing a dress that she bought at a muggle shop last week.

“Hi Sirius! Wait, you leaving already?” She smiled, showing her white teeth. It’s not that he held anything against her, but she was really annoying.

“Yeah, gotta go, Cat’s waiting for me at home.” He replied, while zipping his jacket.

Marlene furrowed her brows. “You have a cat? Oh my god, I love cats!” She squeaked.

“No, my girlfriend’s name is Cat. I don’t have a cat. My animagus is a dog, remember?”

“Oh.” Was all she said.

Maybe now, she will get the picture, Sirius thought as he drove away.

When he arrived at Andromeda’s house he felt gulity for not visiting her earlier.

When his beautiful cousin opened the door, for a slight second, he thought it was Bellatrix, the resemblence between two sisters was remarkable. However, only visually.

“Sirius? Merlin’s beard, it is you!” Andromeda was happy to see him.

Sirius hugged her tightly, as he stepped into her house. Her husband, Ted was also there with their six year old daughter Nymphadora. Sirius greeted them both.

“‘Dora? Is that you?” He teased her.

Dora nodded proudly.

“Wow, you’re growing fast, the next time I come here, you’ll already be in Hogwarts.”

“Let’s hope it’s not going to take you that long to visit us again.” Andromeda said, as she put the tea tray on the table before them.

They started catching up on usual things they missed in each others lives. Sirius told them about a new girlfriend named Cat that he had, the one he met on a Sunday night out and completely forgot about her when he woke up the next morning.

But he met her again, this time sober.

Andromeda was happy for Sirius. He was always her closest family member, the one who understood her. While she listened to one of his wild stories in which he mentioned his best friend James Potter, she couldn’t help but think of (y/n). Her eyes traveled across the room and landed on one single picture she had of you. The photo showed Sirius, Remus, Peter, James and you at your graduation. You were standing in the middle of four boys, smiling, while James’ hand rested on your waist.

Those were the times, she thought.

She still remembered what you wrote in the letter that you sent her along with that photo, back in 1978. How happy and sad you were both at the same time, happy because you were finally getting out in the real world and moving in with James, sad because your Hogwarts years were over and you knew nothing will never be the same again.

Ironic, Andromeda thought.

“We still haven’t found where she is.” Sirius low voice woke her from her thoughts.

She suddenly looked at him, not knowing what he was talking about. He was also looking at the picture of him and his friends.

“Oh.” Andromeda mumbled in realization.

“We tried looking for her everywhere. Her parents don’t know where she is, her friends either. Not even her boss. He said that one day, she just didn’t show up anymore.”

Andromeda shook her head. She didn’t know you didn’t tell Sirius or at least Remus where you were. At first she understood, you were heartbroken, angry and sad and you needed to get away. But after more than one year, she expected for you to at least tell them you were alive.

Seeing the concern in Sirius’ eyes, she decided to tell him.

“Sirius-“ she stopped him.

“She’s in Germany.”

Sirius’ grey orbs looked at her in surprise.

“What?” Was all he managed to blir out.

“She’s been there for quite a long time. Well, since she found out about James and...that woman.” Andromeda refused to say Lily’s name.

Sirius’ eyes blinked a few times.

“(Y/n) is working at the Ministry. That is all I know. She hasn’t sent me a letter for a while now.” She added

Sirius grabbed his jacket and rushed out of the house and heading back to James’ place.

____

Your life was finally falling into it’s place. You had new friends, a job you loved and nothing was stressing you out. Finally you woke up every morning feeling healthy and positive. Sure there were some worries here and there, but you were doing much better than a year ago.

There was also a guy. A new guy. Named Marcus. He also worked at the German Ministry for Magic and he was the one who helped you to learn German when you got here. At first you didn’t want to start a new relationship after your previous one ended as such a disaster. But eventually, you two got closer and one thing led to another and now you two were living together. Marcus was a great guy. Sure he had his flaws jusy like everyone else, but he loved and supported you and made you very happy.

It was Friday afternoon in Frankfurt, everyone was leaving from work and meeting with their friends and families at local wizarding pubs and restaurants and you were no exception.

You were already late for your lunch with Marcus, so you quickened your pace down the street.

That is when you bumped in a middle aged lady, accidentally.

“Ah, entschuldigung, ich haben sie nicht gesehen-“ you spoke, as you turned around to see if she was okay.

In that moment, unknown to you, from across the street, James heard your voice. He thought he was dreaming, when he finally saw your pretty face. That is when it hurt him the most. Seeing you there, after all this time, happy. And you looked as beautiful as ever. For a split second he couldn’t move.

He rushed to the other side of the street, running practicaly, leaving Remus and Sirius behind.

He called after you. But you didn’t hear him, you continued walking fastly to the nearby restaurant.

“(Yn)!!” He called again, this time louder, so a few other people turned around also.

You stopped. You heard James’ voice. It couldn’t be. How?

That is when you turned around.

And there he was. James Potter. The first thing that you noticed was his big, bright smile. And then his eyes, also smiling. He hasn’t really changed, you thought.

He started coming towards you, but you didn’t move.

“(Y/n)..it really is you.” He said, once he was close enough.

You studied his face, unitentionally. His handsome features were still gracing his face, brown curls falling on his eyes, as he went through them with his hand.

“I missed you. So much.” He said.

You looked at him straight in his eyes. You knew he was being honest, you knew he missed you. Because you missed him too.

“I-I’m sorry (y/n). I really am. I never meant to hurt you.” He spoke slowly.

He still didn’t understand why you didn’t say anything, why you kept looking at him like he was a stranger.

“Say something..please.” He begged.

People were rushing past you and you knew you should get going as well, to meet with Marcus. But something kept you here.

“I don’t have anything to say to you, James.”

He looked for something in your eyes. A glince of hope, a sign that you still loved him, like he loved you.

That is when he put his hands on your arms and squeezed them tightly. He was so close that you could see the tears in his eyes, small dark circles under them and that is when you realized that he’s been a mess.

“Don’t do this to me, (y/n). I know I fucked up. I know that! But..did you really have to run away and hide?”

Hide? You pushed his hands off yourself.

“I didn’t run away James. I didn’t hide. This was me starting a new life. Without you!”

James shook his head, disagreeing.

“No.” He said more to himself, but you heard it.

Then Sirius and Remus showed up, behind him.

Your eyes widned, you haven’t seen your friends for so long. Remus had to keep himself from squeezing you in a tight hug and Sirius couldn’t be happier to see you.

“Remus, Sirius.” You said coldy.

“I guess you two knew about James’ doings.” You added.

Sirius’ smile was quickly brushed off, as Remus shook his head in a no.

“Of course we didn’t.” Sirius urged.

“Doesn’t matter now, does it?” You fought back.

“Is there a problem (y/n)?” A voice behind you said. You felt two hands touching your shoulders protectively. You turned around and it was Marcus, who was eyeing three boys you were speaking with.

“Everything’s fine, Marcus, thanks.” You said softly to him.

James noticed that and immediately knew what was going on.

“These are my...” you began, but stopped, when you didn’t know what to call them.

“Friends.” Sirius finished instead of you.

Judging by the look on his face, he wasn’g exactly happy either, that Marcus was here.

“Yes. Right.” You said. “We should get going now, Marcus.”

You put your hand in his and turned in another direction.

“It was nice seeing you.” You said quickly and walked away with Marcus.

All three boys still stood there, watching you and your new boyfriend leave. James’ stomach turned when Marcus put his arm around your shoulders and kissed your lips slowly.

It was Sirius who put a hand on his back. “Come on guys, lets go.”

Remus took one more glance at you, at least you seemed happy, he thought.

James in that moment couldn’t feel anything but jealousy, as tears kept forming in his eyes.

It was only Sirius who knew, that you didn’t truly love this guy. At least not like you did James.

When you and Marcus arrived at the restaurant and ordered your food, he noticed that something was keeping your mind elsewhere.

“Love,” he called you, “what’s wrong?”

You gave him a small smile. “Nothing.” You assured him.

“Come on, tell me. Is it about your friends from earlier?”

You looked at him. He was sweet. A great guy. But, could you be with him for the rest of your life? You weren’t sure.

“It’s just that..I haven’t seen them for a long time. Seeing them..brings me a lot of memories.” You

admitted.

Just seeing James, changed everything. You didn’t want him here. Why couldn’t he just leave you alone?

“Well, then invite them over. I’m sure you have a lot to catch up.”

“No, no, no. We..we aren’t that close. We only went to school together, that’s all.” You lied.

Marcus only nodded and changed the subject. Little did he knew that wasn’t the truth.

James, Sirius and Remus returned to their hotel. There was a certain redhead there with a one year old in her arms. It was Lily with Harry

When James saw her in the lobby, he quickly pulled her to the side.

“What are you doing here?” He asked her.

“I don’t know. What are you doing here?” She asked him, while little Harry reached for his father’s face.

James’ expression softened as he looked at his son. He was so dear to him.

“Just..meeting with a friend.” James lied.

“What friend?”

“Good Godric, do you have to know everything?” James rolled his eyes.

“How’d you even find me?”

“Your mom told me.” She replied. She was suspicious. James was hiding something.

When Lily heard (y/n) left James, she couldn’t be happier. Even though it took a long time for him to finally move on and be with her, she felt that there was always a third person present in their relationship. Someone from the past. When she would try and talk to him, he seemed to drift away in his own thoughts. He was a great dad, but Lily knew he didn’t love her. But with time maybe he would, she thought. She was surprised when he refused to throw away (y/n)s things that she left in the wardrobe. He folded them in a box and took them to a new house. Lily didn’t know where he put the box, but she saw that he was wearing a bracelet on his wrist. He would sometimes stare at it like it was something special. When she asked him about it, he didn’t reply.So when James’ mother told her he left with his friends to Germany, she wasted no time. Something inside kept saying that he was trying to find (y/n) there. And she felt threatned. Deep down she knew James was with her only because of Harry.

“Listen, go home with Harry. Don’t-“

“No.” She said firmly. James could see that she was worried. Maybe she knew.

He just shook his head and left her standing there.

“Remus,” Lily called after James’ friend, the one she knew would tell her what was going on, if she pressed the right buttons.

Remus gave her a small, sincere smile, as he squeezed Harry’s small hand gently.

“What friend is James meeting here with?” she began, “I’m worried about him. And Harry’s not feeling well here. Do you know anything Remus? I don’t like it here.” She rambled.

Remus didn’t move his gaze from Harry. He couldn’t. If he looked at Lily, then he would tell her more than he should.

“He’s here for her, isn’t he?” Her sweet voice was suddenly gone. “For (y/n)?” she continued. “Merlin, I can’t believe him. It’s been more than a year. Can’t he forget about her?! He has a son now, that I gave birth to, he doesn’t need her, she-“

“Calm down Lily.” Remus said.

She looked at him with her big blue eyes, as Harry giggled, unaware what was going on.

“He just wants to make sure she’s okay. He cares for her and he’s been worried for her.”

��Well he wasn’t exactly worried when he cheated on her with me.” She replied.

“That...was a mistake.” Remus said quietly as he left.

Lily sighed as she took Harry to her room. The hotel they were staying in was of course a wizarding one. The wizarding community in Germany was hidden from the muggles and that was it was easier to live in it. Wizards didn’t live in muggle streets or towns, they prefered living peacefully in one place where with people like them. Lily didn’t speak the language and found the place horrible.

She tried to remember what you looked like when she last saw you. And it was then that she realized that you must have known about her and James, when she applied for a job at the Ministry. She never liked you. Not even when you were at Hogwarts. She envied your abillity to make friends easily. Sirius and Remus were both close to you and treated you as the fifth Marauder and even Peter who seemed rather strange, grew to love you. When she heard that you and James were engaged it broke her heart. She cried for days in her room, unknown to her friends Marlene and Alice. She still tried to get in touch with James, first through Frank and Alice, then by visiting the town he lived in. And her plan succeded.

But whatever happened, James never stopped loving you. This time, his hopes were higher than ever, he had a feeling he could get you back. He knocked on the door of the house that was presumably yours. He asked your neighbours in which house you live and when he found out that you lived alone, he rushed to your front door.

When you heard a knock on your door, you assumed it was Marcus, or maybe one of your friends, so you opened the door with a big smile on your face.

But as soon as you saw him, the smile on your lips was gone.

“Hi.” He said, smiling at you.

“What are you doing here? Please..just leave me alone.” You tried to close the door, but his leg was quicker and stopped you.

“(Y/n) just listen to me. I beg you, just hear me out.”

That is when you stared at him for a few seconds, thinking, then gave up and let him in. When James got in, he noticed that your taste didn’t change. It was cozy and it made James feel like home. A lot of natural light was provided, while on the wall there were frame pictures and articles from Daily Prophet that included your friends from Britain. There was also a picture of Andromeda, Ted and Dora when she was just a baby.

He sat down on a divan that was placed in front of a fireplace.

You sat down on an armchair on the other side.

He wasted no time and began telling you how sorry he is, that he never meant to hurt you and so on and on.

“It was a mistake.” He admitted.

“I can’t apologize enough and I understand if you can’t forgive me, but...(y/n)       I love you.”

Tears filled your eyes, you couldn’t look at him, it hurt too much. And then he said that he loved you.

“I still love you, I never stopped.” He said out of breath.

After all this time, seeing James wasn’t as painful as you thought it would be. It was rather joyful. Even though you felt all kinds of things when you saw him in the street, now you felt as a kid that has seen snow for the first time.

Your heart was beating fast and you didn’t try to fool yourself, you still loved James.

Suddenly you saw him kneeling in front of you, his finger lifting your chin to look at him. Tears rolled down your cheeks as soon as your eyes met his. You realized he was crying too.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered, as he pulled you in his arms and repeated himself again; “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

At first you didn’t respond to him, then you put your hands on his arms and you were home again.

You stayed like that for a few more minutes, before you pulled away.

“Go James.” You said, wiping your teary cheeks with the back of your hand.

He furrowed his brows a little, before a smal “what” came od out of his mouth.

“Go back to Lily. And your son.” You barely said the last part.

You knew. How could you knew?

He looked away from you, obviously uncomfortable. The smile on his face disappeared and he didn’t reply.

There was silence for a few minutes, before you chose to speak.

“Andromeda told me.” You said. “Good she did. You wouldn’t, would you?”

James looked at you, hand covering his mouth as he sighed. He was still kneeling in front of you. Now that he has a son, maybe you’d never want him back. How will you look at him now? What a jerk he is.

“I wouldn’t know how.” He admitted.

“James...” you shook your head.

“I’m not blaming you for having a child. I know you’re a loving father. I’m happy for you.” You went on.

A child shouldn’t be a victim here. Little Harry needed his dad and you knew James loved him.

“Sometimes..I wish you’d be Harry’s mother-“

“Don’t say that.”

You closed your eyes. What could have been is a closed story. It is what it is now.

“We can’t change the past James. We have to deal with the present.”

James smirked a little. “Maybe if we had a time turner..” he said.

You rolled your eyes, fightning back a laugh. He was still old, funny James. Oh how you’ve missed him.

“I’m being honest (y/n). I haven’t stopped loving you. When Sirius told me you’re in Germany, I had to come here. I can’t live without you.”

You looked at him. You took your hands in his and smiled. He smiled back.

“I forgive you James. But..I’m not sure I can-“

“You can. We can. Please. I’ll do anything.”

James squeezed your hands gently. You were still young. The world was still yours. And you felt like there is still plenty for you to accomplish. You had dreams and plans and if you were brave enough, just maybe, you could make place for James in your plan. But could you trust him again?

“I don’t trust you.” You said and his face dropped.

“I’m sorry, but this is the truth. I really don’t know how this could work out and I don’t want history to repeat.”

James stood up. “I understand.”

“But..if I give you a chance,”

His face lightened up, last glance of hope in his eyes, shining like the sun.

“If you give me a chance, I promise I will make it better. I will love you and care for you. I need you in my life (y/n).”

You smiled. James took your hand and pulled you close to him. He slowly lowered his head, as his lips brushed hers lightly.

“I can take care of myself. I just want you to be loyal.” You said slowly. “I’ll kill you, if you won’t.”

James chuckled and nodded smilingly.

“Of course.” He said before he pressed his lips to yours.

___ 

@percyjacksonlover2109

@evyiione

@fuckmeandmylifeughhh

[nintendobiitch]

ALL THE 80’S MOVIE ASKS DO EM ALL

OMG BABE TSYM

And @adora-milaje thank you for asking toooo my bud I’ll just put all the answers here :)

Bill and ted’s excellent adventure: Are you more of an optimist or pessimist?

More of an optimist I think! Like, I’m not wholly irrational, I don’t completely inflate my expectations, but I also can’t help looking forward to stuff or just hoping that it goes well. I find the idea of constantly expecting the worst just super depressing. Like yeah you’re technically “never disappointed” but you also don’t get the excitement of anticipation? I dunno.

Back to the future: Which decade in the last century would you most have liked to live in?

I mean tbh as far as basic civil rights go the 20th Century was largely a catastrophe but purely for fashion/film/music purposes I would rock the 1980s.

The breakfast club: Which high school stereotype do you fit into best?

UMMM I have no idea tbh. Like, nerd but a nerd who’s bad at maths? Idk.

Ferris bueller’s day off: What’s your guilty pleasure?

There’s this one coffee shop that I practically live in, like well enough that I know the owner now, and it’s not exactly a “guilty” pleasure but I’ve definitely spent far more money there than I should have haha

Footloose: Who did you last dance with?

When I went clubbing with a bunch of friends to celebrate the end of exams! So my future housemate Becky and a bunch of my other close friends :)

The goonies: What was the last thing to make you laugh?

Just 20 minutes ago I was laughing at my friend James while we played Portal 2 co-op. He died. He died so much.

The outsiders: Why is your best friend your best friend?

OH MAN this is so hard cause like, there are multiple people I’d consider my best friends. My friend Lizzie I’ve known since I was two, she’s so easy to talk to, she cheers me up no matter what, I just feel completely comfortable in her company. My friend Nat I met this year at uni and we have so many similar interests, she’s one of the coolest, funniest people I’ve ever met and we just clicked super quickly. My friend Lucia has been with me through so much difficult shit, she cares so much for me and it’s so lovely. My friend Cosi I can go without seeing for a year and then feel like no time has passed when we next speak.

The lost boys: Would you rather be immortal or objectively beautiful to everyone?

Objectively beautiful??? I’m vain as hell and I think immortality is more of a curse than a blessing tbh

Labyrinth: What’s the relationship with your siblings like?

Great! I love my little brother so much. He’s a dumbass but he’s my dumbass, and really surprisingly respectful for a 14 year old boy. He’s my person to yell about nintendo stuff to, it’s awesome.

The karate kid: When did you last have to work really hard to achieve something you’re proud of?

One of the things I’m most proud of recently is getting my Camp America placement! I had to do three interviews and fill out a huge application, and it’s for a job that is literally a dream come true for me, so I’m super happy I got it! Only two weeks until I head out to New Hampshire now!!

Stand by me: Why did you last go on a road trip?

I really haven’t been on that many road trips tbh. You can drive the length of England in like less than a day. I guess technically the last thing was when I drove back up to uni after the Easter holidays haha

Pretty in pink: What’s your signature ‘look’?

I Do Not Have One hahaha. I swap between styles pretty much constantly. I have an insane number of button up shirts so I’m either high-key flannel lesbian or quite feminine skirt/dress type clothes, totally depends on my mood. I guess the most “signature” thing I own is my dungarees? I wear them a looooot.

Drugstore cowboy: Which historical figure most spikes your interest?

Bruh I’m a history student this is a dangerous question hahaha. Big fan of ALL the Russian tsars, especially Catherine the Great, and Nicholas I. Also love a bit of Otto von Bismarck. Charles II was a mad lad and I love him for it. James I was gay as shit and I respect that. And who doesn’t love Louis XIV? The Viking leader Guthrum was pretty snazzy too y’know I respect him. I really could keep going hahaha.

Ghostbusters: Where were you when you watched your favourite movie for the first time?

Bold of you to assume I have just one favourite movie lol. The one that comes to mind though is when I first watched Inception at my friend Lizzie’s house! Fuckin love that movie so much.

Sixteen candles: At which age do you consider a person to be mature?

Totally depends on the person, and also what you mean by mature. Like anywhere from sort of 15-18 you can start talking to someone like an adult, people start forming more personal/informed opinions about the world, making decisions about their future, but they’re also still children in so many ways. I was dumb as shit at 15 but I also really wasn’t a baby anymore either. It’s a weird age period.

Dirty dancing: Where were you when you first heard your favourite song?

OOOH again, favourite song SINGULAR? One of the songs I treasure the most (Disloyal Order/FOB) I was in the kitchen doing my art coursework, this huge intricate batik thing, and it was the first time I listened to folie a deux and I totally lost focus on my art, I just sat there drinking in this song, every word felt so perfect, ugh I love it

Better off dead: Why did you last laugh so hard it reduced you to tears?

SO I was drunk off my ass, a group of us had gone for cocktails, and my friend Nat showed me that meme of pitbull stretched really big that’s just captured “mr wide” and I lost my SHIT, literally laughed for ten straight minutes, tears streaming down my face, it was the purest joy I’ve ever felt haha

Heathers: Did you apologise the last time you were unreasonably mean?

Yes? I think so. Hard to pinpoint the last time I was mean to someone for no reason, but I tend to feel guilty very quickly and I already say sorry every third word so...

Parenthood: Is there anyone you’re not biologically related to that you consider ‘family’?

I’ve name dropped her a lot already but my friend Lizzie is basically my sister haha. My friend Freya has been calling herself my sister for six years and she pretty much is by now too.

Permanent record: Where were you the last time you told someone you loved them?

I was in right here in bed, texting my girlfriend Maya haha. I guess the last time I said it to someone’s face was last Saturday before she left to go back home, and that was outside her block.

St. Elmo’s fire: What’s one piece advice you would give to someone two years younger than yourself?

A) You are not a grown-up yet, please go easy on yourself you still have so so much growing to do! B) You don’t have to know your passion yet, you don’t have to figure out your whole life at sixteen. There are a lot of things you don’t have control over right now and that’s frustrating and shitty but believe me it gets so much better. Hang in there.

Dangerous liaisons: Which language would you most like to learn?

French or Greek! French because I studied for-fucking-ever but I never got close to fluent (admittedly because I’m impatient as hell haha) and Greek because it’s the language my dad speaks and I wish he’d taught me when I was younger!

Rumble fish: Who do you look to for guidance in times of need?

My mum! I’ve always been able to go to her for help and advice which has been really great, although certainly more recently there’ve been times I’ve rather asked my close friends for comfort too.

E.T.: What’s one ‘weird’ feature that you love about yourself?

Nothing particularly quirky or different about me. My eyes are different colours which I’ve always thought was pretty cool!

Young guns: What’s one style that you love on others, but would never try yourself?

Literally EVERYTHING my girlfriend wears oh my god she is a fashion queen and I’m so shook every time I see her. She fucking rocks fishnet tights and idk if I’m feeling that look for myself but she looks AMAZING.

Oxford blues: Why did you last pretend to be something you’re not?

I guess the last time I was really pretending to be someone was before I came out to my parents. It never felt like a big deal until I came to uni and actually had the chance to express myself and feel comfortable doing it, then it felt like I was constantly lying to them.

Dead poet’s society: The last time you made a decision that everyone around you told you not to make, how did it work out?

Surprisingly, I’ve not done anything stupid enough recently for people to all tell me it’s a bad idea? Huh.

[amorremanet]

2, 10, 42, 47

asks for fanfic writers

well, no. 10 and no. 42 are over here, but!

2. things that motivate you

* The stereotype that autistic spectrum people are only good for STEM-related things. Like, for all of the folks on the spectrum who are good at STEM things, that’s great and I wish them all the best — but I suck at math and I can’t do anything science-related without turning it into, “how can I make a sociopolitical sci-fi critique out of this” or, “but do gay aliens believe in me,” so nah, I’m gonna pass on doing anything STEM-y.

I’d much rather give a big middle finger to everyone who has this ridiculous notion that autistic spectrum people are completely and utterly uncreative, and that we are only ever good for STEM things, and I’d like to do it by being successful in my chosen creative pursuits, please and thank you.

* Tangentially? Temple fucking Grandin. I don’t actually have any problems with her, herself — but I have a lot of problems with how allistic people hold her up as The One True Way To Be A Successful Person Who “Suffers From” Autism™ and how about fuck that, no. I want to be a successful autistic writer who is nothing like Temple Grandin, apart from both of us being white autistic women/dfab people who are going to be identified and treated as women by other people irl regardless of any wibbly wobbly messy gender feels on our part.

* Talking with people about my projects. On one hand, it’s a way of getting feelings kind of like validation. On the other, and way more importantly for me? I love getting feedback from people, or hearing the questions they come up with — like, on NYE, my aunt and I chatted back and forth about my novel while playing a weird card game with one of my cousins, and Aunt Kelly asked some questions that got me to put a few ideas I’ve been playing with into words more concretely, which was super-helpful — and I get a lot of motivation to work from getting jazzed up about things through talking with people.

* Totally a petty thing, but? Getting cranky with JK Rowling over all of the Good Ally Cookies she doesn’t actually deserve to claim, or all of the characters of hers who Deserved Better (lol, uh. today, my therapist learned that I get Upset about Percy Weasley very easily and about my longstanding hate-on for his parents, and bless her heart, when I went, “uh, I just over-identify with Percy Weasley a lot and there’s a good deal of projection going on here but I also don’t think I’m wrong,” she kinda smiled and nodded and went, “I can tell :)” — she’s great, I love her)

or how, even ignoring all of the #Problematic things about her body of work in the Potterverse, there’s SO MUCH GOOD SHIT in the HP series but she’s so clearly invested in the plot as she envisions it and the story she wants to tell for Harry, to the exclusion of all else, that she ends up completely short-changing basically every other character who is not named Severus Snape or Hermione Granger (most of the time, but not 100% of the time)

Like, I’ve said it before and I will say it until everyone is completely sick of me saying it, then I will continue saying it anyway: JKR views all of her characters — barring Harry, and sometimes Snape and Hermione — as plot devices more than she views them as characters.

She’s a bit better about some of them (Remus, Sirius but not as much as Remus, Ron and Luna but not as much as they deserve, Neville and Draco but not in the ways that they deserve)

but she’s really bullshit about most of them (this is not a complete list, but: Cho; Ginny; Cedric; Tonks; Fleur; Albus, Aberforth, and Ariana; Voldemort — not in that I need her to be sympathetic toward him but ffs, some 101-level consistency in his characterization would be nice; Kingsley; Percy; Wormtail; James; Lily;

Lockhart — “I’m not bitter about JKR’s ableism and victim-blaming with regard to Gildylocks,” I say bitterly, with a bitter expression, while hanging up informational posters about how bitter I am; Andromeda and Ted — deserved better, this is not a question or a debate, I want to say that it’s not even an opinion, but tbh, I know that it is, so hmph; Regulus; Barty Crouch Jr. because he is my Favorite and I can’t make this list without mentioning him;

Bellatrix — again, I don’t need her to sympathize with Bellatrix because how about no? but Bellatrix Black Lestrange is one of the shittiest villains I’ve ever read, in terms of HOW she was written, and I think a lot of the flaws in how JKR wrote her could have been remedied if she actually did anything to make Bellatrix a fully realized character, which would’ve made her a more effective and meaningful villain, and not a shrieking Saturday morning cartoon caricature;

Molly and Arthur — I’m not going into full detail about why I hate them today, you lot can just go read my tag on the subject if you want to know, and I don’t think that JKR’s “plot device first, people second” method of characterization is the only problem? But I think it’s a major contributing factor to The Problem Of Molly And Arthur, because she presents them as this image of Idyllic Domestic Perfection even when their actions and the internal fabric of the Weasley Family, don’t support that claim, and it sucks)

—basically, JK Rowling motivates me by fucking up a lot, because she was one of my idols as a kid and as a teenager, and she was a relevant and immediate source of inspiration because Oh My God You Can So Too Write Novels For A Living And Make A Difference In People’s Lives, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that she saved my life a few times, albeit mostly in indirect fashions…… but she fucks up a lot, and this is motivating for me because it makes me want to do better than her.

It’s not even exclusive to HP fic, either. Like, she’s one of my biggest sources of motivation to work on my novel and put thought and love and heart into making it the best that it can be — because I want to do better than her and even if I never have her kind of money (which lol, never gonna happen), I still want to beat her at something. Once I earn it, I will happily accept beating her at artistic integrity and commitment.

Is it petty? Yes, definitely. But hey, man, fish gotta swim, dogs gotta eat, and sometimes, I gotta think about my issues with JK Rowling to remember that I need to do better than her and motivate myself to do the work

* You know those, “do it for her/him” memes based on that one thing from The Simpsons that people make with their fave characters and/or celebs? Yeah, I kind of want to make one for myself with Oscar Wilde. Because there’s a lot about him that wasn’t ever perfect (he was a white guy in Victorian England, even accounting for his Anglo-Irishness, so…… yeah), and there are several points on which I don’t agree with him (like, for example: if you are such a shit to your wife that your boyfriend, who is so completely up his own ass that it’s a miracle he hasn’t found a way to Narnia, notices and calls you out on it? I’m kinda thinking that you might want to reassess how you treat people and stop being like that, bub)

—but I also want to be a fabulous gay Slytherclaw social satirist who uses that #aesthetic and the popular tropes of the day to do my own thing and redefine outside the box, and hey, if I ever get a, “wit and wisdom of…” book published with some of my coolest quotables in it? That would be an awesome bonus.

* “Okay, but seriously: how obvious can I be that Yael and Elizabeth are a big, ‘fuck you’ to Marvel about all of their queerbaiting with Charles and Erik before I can get sued for it? Because while Yael and Elizabeth are still characters in their own right, their original inspiration was, ‘hey, what if I flipped the bird to Marvel about all of their fucking queerbaiting with Charles and Erik, and did it with extra lesbians? that’s be pretty fucking cool,’ and I don’t want to be sued, but I also don’t want for my point to be missed here”

—or more generally, “I can’t die before I finish my novel, I have a lot of people to piss off and call on their crap through the magic of the written word *makes a sparkly rainbow with my hands like Spongebob going, ‘imaginaaaaaaaation!!! :D’*”

* So, there’s this one bit in Dry, Augusten Burroughs’ memoir about the early parts of his struggle with alcoholism and addiction. In his rehab, one of their assignments for group therapy is to write letters to people in their lives and feel their feelings about these relationships. He writes to Pighead, his best friend/“it’s complicated,” who is HIV-positive.

Reading the letter at group, Augusten finds himself crying, then shares the whole tangled-up backstory that he and Pighead have together, from how they first met on a phone-sex line, to how Augusten fell hard in love with him, to how they were friends with benefits and then he told Pighead that he was in love with him and Pighead plays the, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” card (that is verbatim what he says in the book, and the way Burroughs reads it in the audiobook kills me every single time), so Augusten dates other guys and tries to fall out of love with Pighead, only for Pighead to come see him first when his HIV test comes back positive and realize that he’s In Love with Augusten only, “after he became diagnosed with a fatal disease”

—which gives us the great line, “Part of me felt deep compassion. And another part felt like, You fucker.”

(Which is seriously one of my top ten lines in all literature, ever. tbh, it’s probably top five, but the top ten list would be hard enough to come up with to begin with, and I’d have to parcel things out into Poetry, Prose [possibly split into Fiction and Nonfiction, at that], and Dramatic Writing just to get it down to ten things on each list, and? It’s just a perfect line, oh my god)

At the end of it, Augusten has a moment with Kavi, another one of the patients at his rehab, who is addicted to cocaine and sex. Kavi tells him about how he left his lover who was HIV-positive after his diagnosis, so that he wouldn’t be the person getting left for once, and about how he feels like cocaine never leaves him. And we get: “Suddenly, I want to drink.… I don’t want to drink in a jovial ‘Highballs for everybody!’ way. I want to drink to the point where I could undergo major knee surgery and not feel so much as a pinch.”

I just.

There is so much about this section of the book that fucks me up so hard, but in ways that I love so much — and there’s a lot that I love about it for a lot of reasons, but like?

Speaking entirely with my writer hat on right now?

That part is just immaculately written. Every word is perfectly chosen, and they are strung together just right. Burroughs chooses the exact right images and scenes to characterize his and Pighead’s developing relationship, and his moment with Kavi, and it’s just

This part of the book makes me remember why I write. Because I have been reading and rereading this book since high school — I have had my battered up and taped together paperback copy with the yellowing pages since Easter 2005 — and this part STILL fucks me up, every. single. time. The audiobook version of it still fucks me up every. single. time.

Back in high school when I first read it, it hit me so hard because I had a habit of falling in love with girls who were straight and/or just did not like me back (and it would get worse, because the girl I was in love with who dared me to write D*rarry just to see if I could? Would go on to put me in the position of being her Girl Friday while I got to watch her love everybody but me, and praise the creative work of everybody but me, and go on about how two of her other friends were totally brilliant and misunderstood creative geniuses because they were incomprehensible and it was totally bourgeois for me to want to write to be understood but it was okay she knows I’m ~mainstream like that, but then still call on me — which made the whole Augusten/Pighead thing hurt so much more for me because I was kind of her, “I love you, but I’m not In Love with you”)

(I will say this about that relationship: I didn’t handle it well, either. I was petty and jealous, and waaaay more damagingly? I hadn’t yet grasped the idea that you sometimes have to just let people be messed up at you about the shit they’re going though without trying to fix everything for them, especially when there’s nothing that you can actually do to fix it. In retrospect, it’s kind of hilarious that I loaned her a copy of Perks of Being A Wallflower that I never saw again, because the whole idea that you can’t just constantly put someone else’s needs before your own and call it love, and the related concept that doing this is actually kind of a form of selfishness, in a way?

………yeah, that was VERY relevant to how I handled that relationship, and she rightfully called me on a lot of shit related to those ideas, and I spent a lot of time having an unfair chip on my shoulder because I was jealous on one hand, and indignant about how her other friends got to be Real Artists™ because their shit was incomprehensible but I got to be a Poser Artist™ because I wanted to be understood and not just fap around with some neo-Dadaist nonsense — and as seen here, I still do have a chip on my shoulder about Dadaist anything, but in fairness, I’d have that with or without any of this story because Dada is the worst — and I’m not saying that I was totally pure or innocent in anything here.

But at the time, I cried a lot over Augusten/Pighead feels because I felt that whole, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” situation and trying to fall out of love with someone only to crumble when they needed you and resent them for needing you but hate yourself for resenting them — I felt all of that so hard.)

My appreciation for this part of the book has evolved and changed over time, and it’s deepened — as I’ve learned more about LGBTIQ history, I’ve come to appreciate the context of the story more and gain more of a sense of reverence for the LGBTIQ people who came before me and actually fought through the early days of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, and it has changed how I read this part of the book more than anything else (c.f., my passive-aggressive addition of the REST of the quote to one post of the, ‘deep compassion vs. you fucker’ part because I was really annoyed with a bunch of straight people who were reblogging it without the full context and acting like they actually had any idea what it’s like to be gay and in a situation like Augusten is with Pighead here) — and I just

The biggest thing about this part of the book that’s made it stick around for me? is that no matter how I’ve appreciated it at any point, and no matter which parts of it have been the most important to me at any given moment, and no matter WHY it’s fucked me up — it’s still fucked me up so hard every. singled. fucking. time…… but in a way that has always made me feel a lot less alone in the world

It’s sort of similar to something that one of my fiction profs in undergrad once said about creating characters: we were talking, in one of our biweekly one-on-ones, about a story I’d brought in with one of my more off-putting characters (his name is Emerson, he’s an abrasive little shit who does a lot of very fucked up things and was kind of influenced by the Kurt/Karofsky plot back in season two of Glee because that was happening on TV at the time and I had a lot of feelings about it that I didn’t have any other way to deal with because I didn’t want to write Glee fic about all of it. He was more similar to Karofsky than Kurt)

I was convinced that everyone would hate him (not least because he an asshole to basically all of the other characters and assaulted the guy he had a crush on while he was high). Instead, he was actually really popular and one of my classmates, who I admired because her writing was so lyrical and confident and she was a great person, said that she found herself identifying with him, especially during some of his worst moments in that draft. While I was boggling about this, Professor Lucy said that one of the reasons why Emerson went over so gangbusters in workshop was that, instead of going the route of creating a tabula rasa character like Stephenie Meyer wrote Bella Swan to be, I’d given him so many clearly defined character traits and behaviors

According to Professor Lucy, the specificity is what makes it easier for people to identify with characters and feel for them, because it makes them more fully realized. (The, “according to” is just for the sake of attribution because this is a point that I’ve taken to heart and that I do totally agree with Professor Lucy about.) And I feel that a lot with the Augusten/Pighead part of the book because it’s so specific and it’s so grounded and it’s so REAL

And that’s a huge part of why it’s always gotten to me emotionally, and why it’s stuck with me after all this time, and why it’s consistently made me feel less alone and irreparably freakishly weird

Anyway, this got way longer than I intended to get, but the ability to affect someone so deeply with your work — that’s a responsibility that I take very seriously when it comes to writing, with regard to all different aspects of how you can possibly do this with the written word — and this part of Dry is such a source of motivation for me because it’s such a great example, for me, of How To Do An Emotionally Affecting Writer Thingy Well

I use technical language like this because I am such a Serious Business Writer, oh yes I am

47. how many unfinished ideas/stories are you working on at the same time?

I usually don’t count, because it’s usually a lot and not all of them are really guaranteed to ever be properly finished, oops.

[umusicians]

UM Interview: NIIVA

Bulgarian born, England raised, and now Canadian based, NIIVA has found her home with music. The singer/songwriter serves up organic modern-pop hymns wrapped up in a digital bow. After moving to Canada, she used her unique influences and different cultures to refine her sound and songwriting abilities to further develop her career. To date, NIIVA has released three singles including “Love Games” which she released earlier this year. The single has reached over 176K Spotify streams in the first four months since being released in April of 2020

Amandah Opoku sat down with NIIVA to talk about her new single “Trigger”, favorite song lyric, the music industry and more!

Amandah Opoku: NIIVA, thank you for doing this interview today! Before we kick off please tell our readers about yourself and one random fact people do not know about you NIIVA: Thank you guys for having me! In a nutshell, I’m a Pop/R&B artist based in Toronto who’s apparently had an obsession with purple hair dye for the past 5 years. Something people might not know about me is that I love art and graphic design, and one of the first things I ever wanted to be is an animator for Disney. 

AO: When you moved to Canada at the age of 15 was when you began working on your sound and songwriting as an artist. What inspired you to pursue a career in music? And why choose Pop/R&B as your genre? NIIVA: I was born in Bulgaria and lived there until my family and I moved to England when I was about 9, and although my parents gave us an amazing childhood, as an immigrant there’s just different priorities. It wasn’t until moving to Canada that I think we all felt settled and able to explore the choices that we didn’t necessarily have before. So, it wasn’t that I was inspired to pursue a career in music because music has always been my passion, but it finally felt like a plausible reality, which was amazing. In regards to genre, I love and listen to so many different types of music, but I always seem to gravitate to Pop/R&B. It showed in my writing as well, because when I first began writing I wasn’t consciously thinking “Okay I’m going to write a pop/r&b song”. I think whatever comes out naturally in your writing is the genre that fits best with you. 

AO: If you could describe your music in three words. What words would you choose and why? NIIVA: “Full Taurus Mode”. Especially for this collection of songs that will be on my upcoming EP haha. There’s fire, there’s passion, there’s sarcasm. In my personal life and in my writing I gravitate towards dealing with things head on as opposed to beating around the bush, or waiting around and letting sadness be the final emotion in difficult situations. 

AO: You’ve worked with some of North-America’s top songwriters and producers including Kuya, Jimmy Harry and Matt Beckley. How was it working with these individuals and did it shape your music and artistry? What did you take away with working from these individuals? NIIVA: I have been so incredibly blessed to be in the same room as these guys, and I don’t take it for granted for a minute. Every single one has taught me so much about the industry as a whole. I’ve become a better writer, a better singer, a better recording artist. When you’re around people who have been in the industry for so long, you absolutely have to absorb as much as you can from them because the experience they have is so valuable. 

AO: What is one piece of advice you received since you began pursuing music, that has aided you on your path? NIIVA: To move to Toronto - that’s been a huge one. When I moved from Vancouver to Toronto all things music related for me went from zero to a hundred because everyone and everything is here. Personally, if I were to echo any piece of advice that’s been given to me it would be to go to where the action is. 

AO: What artists have inspired you musically? NIIVA: This may be a cliche answer, but it’s just impossible not to be inspired by everything Beyonce comes out with because it’s always such a complete, rounded, fleshed out, thought out, original vision. Love her. We don’t deserve her. 

AO: You released your new single “Trigger” last week, what inspired the song? NIIVA: Essentially it’s a dare to your partner to try you one more time and see what happens haha. It’s about those days when everything seems to get on your nerves and you just know you’re about to fight someone and it’s just gotta be done. 

AO: What was the writing and recording process like for “Trigger”? NIIVA: I wrote the song with Sammy G from Kuya Productions here in Toronto, and it actually originally sounded very different. We kind of wrote two songs out of the same subject matter, even a lot of the lyrics are the same, but the first iteration was a lot more upbeat and happier sounding. We ended up feeling like it just needed to be something else, and rewrote it to be this smooth, sexy, a little ominous sounding number, which I truly truly love.  One of the most exciting parts about this song to me is that I recorded the vocals with Matt Beckley in LA when I was down there for a writing trip. He’s an amazing vocal producer and I loved working with him. Our senses of humour really meshed and he’s a fellow Disney nut so obviously it couldn’t have gone wrong.

AO: Did the writing and recording process for “Trigger” differ from the process you undertook for your single “Love Games” which was released earlier this year? If so, how? NIIVA: Actually, thinking about it now the recording process for both songs couldn’t have been more different. For “Love Games” we literally ended up using the scratch vocals done on a little USB microphone in the final iteration of the song because we just captured the perfect feel when we were writing it. And then for “Trigger” like I said I was all the way on the other side of the continent, recording the vocals in the same booth that Camila Cabello recorded “Havana” (I’m putting that on my tombstone, by the way), so vastly different process haha. But, you know it just goes to show that there’s no right or wrong way to do this. 

AO: From the songs you’ve released to date, what would you say is your favorite lyric and why? NIIVA: It’s hard to pick, but one of my favorite lines is actually from “Trigger” and it’s in the chorus. “Go ahead and walk the line, strike the match and light the fire, ooh you better run for cover, why’d you have to pull my trigger”. I love the melody of those lines as well, I love how eerie and sexy it is at the same time. Someone actually said something about this song that I find really funny, and if it’s inappropriate I’m sorry, but they said “what I like about this song is that as the listener I don’t know if you wanna f*ck me or fight me, but I wanna find out”. Iconic.

AO: For new fans who come across your music, what would you like them to take away from your music? NIIVA: To me, the best thing about music is the connection it can bring, and the sense that you will never be the only person in the world feeling what you’re feeling and going through what you’re going through. Whether it be good or bad, a huge life event or a small moment, there’s always someone else who is sharing in that emotion with you. So, I hope that whoever listens to my music feels that.

AO: As you pursue a career in music, what have been some of the challenges you’ve faced? And how did you overcome them? NIIVA: My biggest challenge is always me. I’m always trying to practice not getting stuck in certain negative or unproductive mindsets, or getting distracted by things that don’t matter. When those moments happen, I try to remind myself of all the good things I have going for me, all my achievements, all the ways I’ve grown as an artist and a writer, and I remind myself that those things are there for a reason, not by some fluke. And I don’t mean for that to sound self-indulgent or cocky, but we have to get ourselves out of negative ruts sometimes by noticing and celebrating the victories, big and small. 

AO: For other individuals who may also be interested in pursuing a music career, what would your advice be to them? NIIVA: Just do it, do it all the way, and even though it’s scary and uncomfortable to leave things behind, most of the time it’s to step towards something even better. Don’t let the little voice of your fear or other people’s fear scare you with “what if it fails?” because it’s an invalid argument. What if it doesn’t fail?

Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk. 

AO: With “Trigger” out now, what can fans expect from you next? NIIVA: I cannot begin to explain how excited I am to be bringing out an EP. It’s coming before the end of this year, and I can’t wait to give people an actual body of work that I’m incredibly proud of, and that I truly hope they’ll love as much as I do. 

AO: NIIVA, thank you for sitting down with me! Before we close this interview is there anything you want to say to your fans and our readers? NIIVA: Thank you so so much for giving me a platform to talk about my music and be a little emo :) I just want to thank everyone who takes the time to follow me, to watch my videos, to stream and download my songs, and to share it with their friends. It means the world to me. And if you don’t follow me yet… come in. Join us. We have fun here <3

Connect with NIIVA on the following websites: https://itsniiva.com/ https://twitter.com/itsniiva https://www.instagram.com/itsniiva/ https://www.facebook.com/itsniiva https://www.youtube.com/NiivaOfficial