#it's a behavior I've noticed particularly in young people so of course that's part of the reason too

[meimi-haneoka]

I know my last report is so long...and technically, I could've summarized so many of those info in shorter paragraphs.

But it's all intentional. I really wanted to write their dialogues out as far as possible, because I've noticed something in the fandom. I'm pretty sure this is not limited to CLAMP but to 'public figures' in general, especially on the internet.

I've noticed a sort of tendency to dehumanize these four women. Sometimes I come across comments that make my skin crawl. People calling them names, insults, "these old hags", people who think these four women should only live to satisfy the fandom's hunger for content, or their fetishes. They don't consider (and even if they do, they do not seem to know what the words 'be indulgent' mean) these are four human beings who have their lives, wishes, preferences, shortcomings, health problems, or even not a 100% great mental space.

I admit I have "joked" with heavy terms in private too, in the past. But lately, especially after they started to open the Twitter Spaces, showing their more "raw, genuine side" to us, and ever since my JP skills allowed me to understand them better, I can't bring myself to do that anymore. It might be because I'm getting old too and I understand painfully well what it means to begin having problems related to age (for memory or even physical pain), and the love and care (and often pain) that lie behind a piece of artwork, but I just can't help empathizing with them. Hearing them joking among each other, knowing how much they care for one another like sisters, hearing them talking so humbly about their work even after such a long time, getting to know when they're feeling sick and knowing their struggles because on the workplace they're like a machine that can work well only if all the components are in good condition...it really really makes you realize how human they are.

I think the turning point for me was when I heard one of the personal Spaces Ohkawa opened every morning for a week, while she was having breakfast, talking about various topics. In one of the firsts, she apologized because you could hear the noise of the washing machine working on the background. It struck me so powerfully. This is not some kind of unapproachable, inaccessible person living on another existential plane, this is a normal, regular human being who writes stories for a job but who's got to do laundry like every other regular person on this earth. They might drink champagne and go to fancy restaurants (but Ohkawa in particular is a fan of McDonald's too) but that doesn't mean that they lost their humanity.

And I found myself not wanting to partake in this stupid game of dehumanizing them anymore. Actually, with my translations, I want to try to make people see what I see too. Make them feel the "vibe" through their own words, because you can understand so much of them through the words they often use. Ohkawa might look like this merciless and whimsical boss, but she actually just loves the stories she envisioned very much, and she's ready to go through a shitstorm to defend her choices on the workplace.

She just feels a bit guilty that when there's criticism of her choices, the work of her colleagues gets dragged down along, but they're all in this together and they stick to one another tightly.

I can only do these translations when it's about CCS because they're exhausting to me and take me so much time, so my "brainrot" helps me push through to finish them. But at least for that, I want to try to do this, when I can.

[thebirkenstocksocialist]

You have such beautiful insights on parenthood in Young Royals, so I would like to know what do you think about Simon and Linda's relationship? - princesimonsblog

First off thank you, this is so kind of you to say. I've been ruminating on this ask for a while and I'm excited to write about it.

I'm going to write about my observations of Linda and Simon's behavior and what I make of them in the show. What I won't write about is culture since that is out of my wheel house. I would particularly love to hear from some Latine fans if any of ya'll want to share observations and insight about their relationships based on culture, please do!

Overall, I think Simon and Linda's relationship is so beautiful. Linda is the stand out adult in the series. Sure, I have head cannons that the head mistress and of course Boris (my beloved) are cool people, but those are at last mostly in my head.

I think we get to see a lot of Linda, and the woman she is, particularly within her role as Simon and Sara's mother.

We know that Simon has trauma related to his parents. We see that illustrated most clearly when he is alone with his father. As an addict in recovery, who grew up in a household with an alcoholic dad (we are both clean now WOOT), I don't actually know if I have seen a portrayal of active addiction done so well. Like, the humanity and complexity of it? But that's another post.

Anyway, we see how guarded Simon is, the lack of trust, but also how he loves his father. We see moments of hope when he notices his place looks good. And we see the trauma come out when he argues with Sara. In episode six, he defends his mother. He wants to protect her. This is definitely part of Simon's behavior pattern, which Sara is also calling him out on in the scene, but it is part of their mother/son dynamic too I think.

In episode one, Simon is caretaking Sara and his mother as he lies to Linda about getting invited to a party. I take this as him truly believing his mom is a great mom, not wanting her to worry, and providing her some reassurance. I probably view Simon as the "hero" or "perfect child" in the alcoholic family dynamic.

So we know that Linda worked hard to get herself, and her kids, out of a bad situation. There's trauma around that and Simon and Sara have their own feelings there. This is true for pretty much all families? Like, there are struggles and pain and often even trauma - but that doesn't also mean their isn't closeness and safety? Simon's family feels so deeply REAL to me.

But the reason I love Linda, and think that Simon has secure attachment with her, and thus tremendous resilience in the face of the trauma he is facing, is because she is clearly SAFE. She is consistently there for her children. She shows up for them both physically (dropping them off at school, picking them up late, hugs, back rubs, attending parent's lunch, talking to staff and teachers while there, opening her home to Wilhelm, Rosh, and Ayub) and emotionally (offering support and snacks when Simon is hurting, encouraging police reporting, providing unwavering love and support regarding Simon's sexuality). I particularly like how she seems to consistently make room for her children's emotions. I think this is hard to do as a parent? Like, if I was her I would be so enraged about the video. I'd want to tear that school down, you know? But I also think the best action is to follow her son's lead. To truly support a survivor (I believe what happened to Simon and Wilhelm is sexual abuse) is to follow their lead on what they need/want to feel safe. I see Linda do that. Yes, she gently suggests that they go to the police. But there are so many reasons why a person wouldn't want to do that, and wouldn't feel safe.

Another example of her following her children's lead is when Micke shows up at Lucia. She stands firm, no movement on her part, but she looks to Simon and Sara for their lead. In cannon, we have no idea what Micke's behavior was like during Simon and Sara's younger childhood. We do see him behave violently towards Simon, and scare him, in one scene. So I don't really want to speculate about Linda's trauma because it could be a lot of different things. But what I see in this scene is a mother who is trusting her children's voices. Again, very hard to do as a parent. We often want to swoop in and protect. She makes that space for Sara to say her boundary. She doesn't swoop in to protect Simon from the consequences of his secret keeping. And she also doesn't scream and yell and cause a scene that might make the situation harder on both her kids. Honestly, any of the reactions I described would have been reasonable and believable for a mom in her situation. I respect what she did a lot.

I also particularly LOVE what the writers/directors did with Linda and Simon's relationship juxtaposed next to Wilhelm and Kristina. Go re-watch episode 6 with this in mind. We see shifts/cuts from Wilhelm, utterly alone and reeling, to Simon, being touched and comforted by his mother, laughing and surrounded by friends and family when he finds out Wilhelm lied, being touched and checked on by his mother. Obviously, this is done intentionally. As much as it highlights how alone Wilhelm is, I think it also highlights how safe Simon is in his home. Loved and secure. It think this is why the scene where the reporter shows up at his house is so important, and so jarring. His safety has been directly threatened.

And who created that safety? Who shows up for him, protects him, allows him room to grow? Who left an awful situation with an addict partner to protect her kids? Linda. Time and time again we see this woman holding Simon's hand. She isn't perfect, not by any means. But Simon has something that we all want - or are hopefully grateful for if we have it - a parent who not only loves him but actively shows up and parents him. Who works for his best interests and who cares about and SEES who he is as himself. Linda sees Simon as a person, not as a reflection of herself.

Lastly, I love that Linda actively parents her kids. We see this a bit - she tells them to cool it when they are being kids. But maybe the most real, good parenting moment we see, is when she finds the bill from Hillerska. She is (rightfully) pissed and also worried. "HOW Simon?!" - she doesn't know how on earth he thought he would pay for this and he can't tell her. "That's not how it works in the real world", she says, or something similar. I think we see a bit that Linda is disappointed in Simon. Again, very understandable. Perhaps she is the one who gave him some of his socialist values? This scene lends well to that theory and also illustrates Linda's humanity and the reality of parenting: it is hard and messy. I also find it so interesting that in this scene, Simon speaks Swedish back to his mom. In other scenes he speaks Spanish. For me this illustrates his frustration and their disconnect in the scene. Such a good one.

When Wilhelm says that Linda is cool - I actually believe him. Like, I don't think it was him feeding the cute boy he has fallen for a line. I think that he has seen something in Simon and Linda's relationship that is special and he envies it. And I think he is absolutely right to do so.

Thanks again for the ask - did I miss anything? And like I said Besties Latines - please add to the convo or give me some feedback. I welcome both <3

[twopoppies]

Ooo is it origin story day?! Fun! I don't know that mine is that interesting to be honest, but I'll share anyway. Fair warning, I've always been a rambler lol! Like a lot of people here, I wasn't really into 1D when they were at the height of their popularity. I don't necessarily think it was a me "trying to be cool" thing, so much as a me tuned out from the world thing. I had a pretty severe anxiety disorder as a teen and ended up attending a therapeutic residential high school. I didn't listen to much music at all tbh, so even a lot of their bigger hits passed me by. There was a girl in my dorm that was OBSESSED with them, particularly Zayn, and it sort of became her personal quirk in our friend group. In the clique-y way that teenage girls can sometimes be, it didn't really occur to me that we could have the same "quirk" so I never looked into their music. But by 2015, I was in what I call recovery and actually enjoying life again. I heard "Drag Me Down" on Good Morning America and fell in love with it! It was the song of the summer for me, and I think I really resonated with the idea of nothing being able to pull back down again. I was totally ready to fall down the boyband rabbit hall five years too late! Of course, I quickly learned they were about to go on hiatus and all I could do was laugh. Because *of course* I would fall in love with a band right before they broke up lmao! I never really bought the 18 months thing. But I decided I was perfectly happy to spend the end of my summer retroactively falling in love with One Direction anyway. I listened to all their albums in reverse and was genuinely gutted I didn't discover Midnight Memories when it was new because I would have loved it! In another life, I could have been at the Jones Beach concert where Harry wore the flower crown 😩 Ah well! I devoured all of their interviews on YouTube too, which is where I first saw a comment "My Narry heart!" and I was like 'WTF does that mean?'. Presumably, I must have learned *something* about Narry but I obviously wasn't sold and I remember none of it. Fell hard for Larry though. Watched all the FIMQ videos and read a bunch of fanfiction. I still really wasn't convinced that it was real and an anti's proof video had me feeling guilty for a hot second. Thankfully, I was an adult and not a young teen, so I wasn't actually convinced that any of my individual actions were hurting the multimillionaire pop stars. But I can see how young fans thought they had to protect them from 'harassment'. It's so gross how that was manipulated back in the day. Anyway, I think what really sold me on it being true was that video where they were laughing about Zayn's yin yang tattoo. I watched it just to see the interview, not knowing there was anything Larry about it. I kept playing back the part of H and L laughing bc I was I trying to figure out what the hell they were saying. I don't think I got the joke at the time, but I remember noticing how Harry starting grinning like a fool before he even understood it, just cause Lou was laughing. How they both leaned forward to watch each other laugh. How they were just in their own little world with even their fellow bandmates confused at the level of inside joke they were sharing. And this was at a time when popular narrative told me they hated each other. It wasn't some slowed down interaction purposely set to music or an elaborate fan theory about their clothing or locations. It was just them being themselves in an interview, and I thought "That's not normal platonic behavior. No way!". After that, I always believed. I may have wavered a bit in the beginning at how serious it was and how much we could really know about their lives behind closed doors, but now I'm 100% certain that they love each other and always have. And I've had the best time at their solo tours! I got to meet up with other Larries including Amy, which was amazing. This fandom has given me so much. It helped me accept that I am a lesbian even though I've struggled with a lot of internalized heteronormativity. And Louis' music

in particular meant the world to me after my mom died. I'm so glad I watched that GMA special, even if it did feature the interview from babygate hell lol!

This is really lovely, sweetheart. I think we find special things at the right time, you know?

And yes to that yin/yang joke moment. Goddddd.

[oumakokichi]

Hi! I've been seeing posts saying Ouma said 'I love you' to Himiko, and that they're hinted to have feelings for each other in the game? I've read your metas about them so I know about Ouma being gay and Himiko /possibly/ having feelings for Tenko, but are there actually events in the game that actually hint on romantic feelings between them? Though I believe in letting people ship w/e they want, I'm not exactly fond of the pairing, especially because one of them is actually confirmed to be gay.

Hmm, this is a difficult question to answer. I don’t want to come across as condemning any ships or putting my foot down as though my opinion on shipping is the only one that matters, because that’s definitely not the point of this blog! As long as it isn’t unhealthy or there isn’t a huge power imbalance between the characters, I’m pretty okay with most ships.

That being said, it’s true that there are some that just aren’t personally my cup of tea. That doesn’t make them bad ships necessarily, it’s just…there are certain factors involved when it comes to my own personal preference. If it comes to talking about it from that perspective, I don’t mind. I just don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea and assume that I’m trying to act as though I’m some kind of shipping authority when that’s definitely not the case.

With all that said, and understanding that these are just my personal opinions on the ship so please take this with a grain of salt, I’ll go a little more in-depth about this under the read more. There will be spoilers for Chapter 5, so be careful!

The main reason for people shipping Himiko and Ouma from what I’ve seen stems from the Chapter 5 trial. The two of them interact occasionally prior to this; in Chapters 2 and 3 in particular Ouma is quick to accuse Himiko as the first suspect in both trials despite knowing who the real culprits are ahead of time, generally to defuse the suspicion from her and move on to the real topic instead.

In the post-trial for Chapter 3, his most notable interaction with Himiko is that he confronts her very specifically about her feelings for Tenko: he calls her out on the fact that she’s still not being open and honest with her emotions even after Tenko’s death, and says that she’s only lying to herself. Even though he’s a liar, he says that at least he always tries to be honest about his own feeling for himself—and puts heavy emphasis on the fact that appreciation can only be shown for people while they’re still alive. He comes down hard on her, but his speech is what prompts Himiko to stop holding back her grief and start crying, and ultimately she becomes much more straightforward about her emotions from this point on.

I feel like because he could tell that Himiko was such a poor liar, and because even though he refused to trust anyone fully he could still tell that she posed relatively little threat to the group, he intentionally pushed her here because he knew that she had potential to grow and develop the way that she did. And I feel like it’s very telling that he specifically talked about her feelings towards Tenko in that scene, the same way that he often targets Maki’s feelings for Momota later on, or even Saihara’s feelings for Kaede. Ouma, as perceptive as he was, knew very well that Himiko’s regret and her feelings about Tenko were the very things necessary to push her to become stronger.

Only in Chapter 5 is there any discussion about Himiko and Ouma’s feelings towards each other, and it’s this scene which prompted most of the push for it. Throughout most of the trial, Himiko spends the whole time getting easily flustered by pretty much everyone because she was lying about bringing the crossbow to Momota in the machinery bay. Her lies are transparent and super easy to poke holes in, and the more flustered she gets, the easier it is to get her off-topic in the trial discussion.

When asked why she was definitely seen going to the machinery bay, and while she desperately stammers out excuses about checking on Momota to see if he was okay and says “What other reason would I be going for?!”, “Ouma” in the Exisal responds like this: “Because you like me~.” And Himiko gets even more flustered and embarrassed by this, assumes that “Ouma” is messing with her and of course tells him to stop lying and messing around, to which he responds, “It’s not a lie~, I like you too~.” And Himiko proceeds to get pretty noticeably embarrassed and fond at the idea of someone having a crush on her (Tsumugi calls her “a young maiden in love at some point” when telling “Ouma” not to mess with her, haha), and this kind of interaction is I think why most people decided to start shipping it.

The thing is, it’s not actually Ouma in the Exisal, it’s Momota. However, he is following a script that Ouma wrote (a multi-branch 300-page script, give or take, that could predict almost perfectly how everyone would react during the trial). He does say that “some parts were his own ad-lib,” and asks the group if they can tell “which ones,” but there’s no real way to tell the specifics exactly. Personally I’m inclined to think the “confession” was something Ouma himself wrote—because this kind of teasing behavior is definitely in-character for him and I have no doubts he definitely liked to see Himiko get riled up. He’s undeniably a prankster, and Himiko’s quick temper later on made her a pretty easy target to tease in a very mischievous way.

That being said, it’s not something I exactly ship per se because…well, it’s not something that ever seemed to me like it was intended seriously. Himiko reacts to “Ouma’s confession” about the same way that she reacts to Monokuma suddenly saying that he’s their friend now and he’s going to help them theorize in the school trial—she’s indignant at first, then falls for it completely and even gets sort of shy and flustered and says she wants to give Monokuma a big hug. And when Monokuma goes back to giving absolutely no shits about any of them in the post-trial, she’s super shocked and outraged and even says “Y, You bastard, even though I loved you…!”

This kind of behavior isn’t anything new or out of the ordinary for Himiko. She admits in-game to enjoying soap operas and cheesy, clichéd twists. Her line to Monokuma feels very much like a child imitating a soap opera line they once heard, in my opinion. And I feel like her enjoyment of these pastimes is what led to her very much liking the idea of being in love or someone having a crush on her, but without it necessarily being a serious thing.

After the Chapter 5 trial, there’s never again any indication that Himiko had particularly deep feelings for Ouma, or vice-versa. When discussing Ouma’s “true character” and what his real objectives and feelings are, in fact, Himiko is one of the characters who believes in him the least. She assumes that he was lying about absolutely everything, because that’s easier than accepting the alternative—that perhaps they were too hard on someone who was actually trying to help the group all along in his own way. She does not accept the fact that he was never quite the villain he played himself up to be; even when they all know for a fact that Ouma was not the ringleader, she goes as far as to say “he wasn’t someone who could shed real tears.”

Considering how much of Ouma’s character requires a deep understanding of the fact that he was not completely evil and not actually a horrible person, the fact that Himiko pretty clearly doesn’t believe there was even the slightest chance that he was telling the truth in Chapter 5 just…doesn’t really appeal to me from a shipping perspective. As part of my own personal preference, I just don’t really like the feeling of a dynamic where one character doesn’t ever really understand the other and thinks they were a horrible villain the whole time.

There’s also definitely the point that you brought up, about gay characters when it comes to these kinds of ships. Ouma is definitely, undeniably confirmed gay, and Himiko is at least open to fan interpretation and qualifies as what I would at least consider gay-coded. But it’s true that there’s no outright confirmation that Ouma was only interested in guys, and as Himiko definitely expresses interest in guys on multiple occasions, I would say it’d be perfectly plausible to headcanon her as bi or pan.

And while it’s certainly not confirmed that Ouma was only interested in guys, I do feel as though there’s at least room to read into him having a preference. When it comes to his interest in guys, he only uses phrases like “my beloved ___” with Saihara and Amami specifically—both of whom are guys. And rather than teasing Maki or Himiko, he asks Momota constantly, “Oh, Momota-chan, could it be that you’ve fallen for me?” These are phrases that he doesn’t ever use with the female cast, and in my own opinion, it just feels to me as though Ouma has much more of an interest in guys than girls.

What grabs my attention with Himiko and Ouma though is this: even though one of these characters is canonically confirmed to be gay and the other one can at least be read as such, I’ve seen many, many people in the fandom trying to deny that fact. Even though being gay is not only a fact about Ouma but also an essential, plot-related factor (because he would never have taken as much interest in Saihara as he did if he hadn’t fallen for him), I’ve seen many people since the game’s launch questioning whether he “really was in love with Saihara,” saying it felt very forced or random even though there were plenty of hints to it all the way from Chapter 2 and onward.

It reminds me quite a lot of people’s reactions to Juzo prior to the actual reveal about him being gay in dr3. Even though it was clearly foreshadowed and very noticeable hints that anyone could pick up on were dropped the whole time, many people wanted to deny it—or even ship Juzo with Chisa instead, even when it was very clear he didn’t feel that way about her. And being gay was so essential to Juzo’s motivations and character, just like it is with Ouma. Trying to gloss over the fact or ignore that there’s a canonically gay character when we so seldom get this kind of confirmation in canon, ever, just feels… Well, it’s not something I like very much.

This is all just a matter of my personal preference, once again. People can certainly ship these things if they’d like to! As long as there’s no gross or unhealthy basis for the ship, I don’t think it’s right to try and tell people to just stop shipping something, moreso if it’s something they clearly enjoy and are having fun with. Shipping is by and large a matter of people’s personal tastes and desire to see more development, interactions, etc. between certain characters, and I think if people want to take Himiko and Ouma’s interactions and expand upon them or read in a certain way, that’s perfectly fine!

But I do think it’s also true that it’s important to try and think critically about why we ship certain things or why certain ships seem “more plausible” than others. There were quite a few people who were willing to believe a “love confession” from “Ouma” (who wasn’t even actually Ouma, no less) that was mostly brought up for the same kind of comic relief as Monokuma joining the group in Chapter 5. However, I noticed considerably more people raising objections or questioning whether Ouma was “telling the truth” when he confessed in Chapter 4 that he “had fallen in love with Saihara-chan” even though he was speaking to an empty room where he had absolutely zero incentive to lie.

I feel as though it’s important to occasionally ask ourselves this: “Why do I want to ship these characters? What do I enjoy seeing the most in their interactions?” When provided with a canonically gay character or a gay-coded character, it’s important to try and evaluate whether we’re actually shipping those characters in non-gay ships for a certain reason, or if it’s just because it “seems cuter” or “more plausible.” And if it’s the latter, that’s a very dangerous mindset which can and does have real-world implications, because media is so full of the assumption that heterosexuality is the norm, and I just think it’s good to be careful of trying to fall into that same assumption.

Anyway, I really hope I didn’t offend anyone with this, because it’s not my intention at all. I’m not against other people enjoying this ship, and I can see why people would think it’s cute! It’s just not something I myself ship, and again anon, I can understand your feelings and your hesitation.