#it's all about mrs lovetts and the kid for me

[ladykailitha]

Can Anybody See Me? Part 11

This one is a bit angsty. Steve has a panic attack, so if that bothers you, you can skip it. It’s just a soft interlude with Eddie and Steve. And of course a bit recreational drug use. Also every school needs an urban legend or ghost story.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

*

Steve loved drama and the play. He did not love his pottery class. The teacher Mr Lovett had taken an instant dislike to the fact that Steve had joined his class half way through the first semester and therefore missed all the fundamentals.

And worse Mrs Hall refused to let him change it at the start of the new semester. So he was stuck in a class he knew nothing about, where the teacher hated him, the other students ignored him, and he was pretty sure he was failing.

“Look,” Steve told Mrs Hall. “I just want to know if I fail pottery if I’m still going to graduate. That’s it and then I will be out of your hair until graduation. I swear it.”

Mrs Hall sighed and went looking through her file on him, clicking her tongue as she thumbed through his transcripts.

“If pass all your other classes and get above a C+ in drama, you should still graduate,” she said after several minutes of cold silence.

Steve sighed in relief. Those involved with the play were given automatic passing grades, so as long he did the other assignments, he was on track to graduate.

“Thank you, Mrs Hall.”

He stood up and began to walk to the door when she called out to him.

“Mr Harrington,” Mrs Hall said, “I know boys will do whatever they want, but please stay away from Edmond Munson. That boy and his little cult of Satanic worshiping D&D lovers will only cause you further ostracization of your peers.”

Steve blinked. “I beg your pardon, ma’am, but before Eddie took me under his wing, I was friendless and alone”

Mrs Hall tutted. “Better to be friendless and alone than to be caught up in a cult.”

He frowned in confusion and hurt. “Are you going to tell my parents?”

“I should,” she sneered. “But I could get into a lot of trouble if I do, so I will stay out of it. You only have a few more months of school anyway. But know that I will keep my eyes on you.” She wagged her finger at him and then shooed him away.

Steve ran to the bathroom and slammed the stall door shut. He forced himself to breathe like Eddie taught him, but he couldn’t get his breath under control. He heard someone enter and start pissing.

Steve tried to keep quiet but his breathing made it hard. There was the sound of running water and suddenly he couldn’t hear anything else. It was like water rushing around his head. He let out a strangled cry, thinking that whoever was out there had gone.

But he was wrong.

“Hey, is there someone in here?” Eddie asked.

Steve let out another sob but this time in relief.

“Steve?” Eddie whispered.

He tried to get a word out, but all that came was wordless gurgling.

“Shit!”

Steve could hear Eddie run out the door and the relief he felt crumbled to dust. He started sobbing and couldn’t stop.

“Steve?” Eddie’s voice came again. “Hey, sweetheart, can you open the door for me?”

Steve struggled for a moment or two before he managed to get the door latch free for the door swing open. He stumbled out, right into Eddie’s arms.

Eddie managed to keep them upright but barely. “Holy shit, are you okay?”

Steve shook his head.

“Hey, hey,” Eddie cooed. “I’ve gotcha, big boy.” He led them over them to sit on the floor.

“Aren’t you worried someone’s gonna come in?” Steve asked after a moment of just sitting in silence.

“Nah!” Eddie said with a grin. “I put out the ‘Out of Order’ sign. We’ll be good for a while.”

Steve frowned for a moment. “So that’s where you ran off to.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow and then the other shot up to join it. “Did you think that I ran out on you?”

Steve curled in on himself. “Everyone else does.”

“Except your kids,” Eddie pointed out. “And except me. Okay?” He put his arm around him and drew him close. “You want to talk about what happened just now?”

“I had my meeting with Mrs Hall,” Steve mumbled.

“Yeah?” Eddie said. “She let you out of pottery?”

Steve shook his head. “She still refuses. I think she’s in cahoots with Mr Lovett to my senior year as miserable as possible.”

Eddie tucked Steve’s head under his chin. “That’s just bullshit, sweetheart. I’m sorry this year has been so bad for you.”

Steve was quiet for a moment. He raised his head to look Eddie in the eye. “And then she had the gall to suggest that being friends with you was worse than being alone.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide. “She did what?”

Steve nodded. “If it didn’t mean detention and the possibility of not being able to graduate on time, I would have told her fuck off.”

Eddie kissed the top of Steve’s head. “I am a bad influence on you, you know.”

Steve chuckled. “Don’t care. I think you and your friends were the first people to like me for me instead of the Harrington name.”

Eddie grinned. “What the matter, Stevie? Don’t like being a Harrington?”

He shook his head. “Hell no, I’d change if I could.”

“How about Munson?” Eddie teased.

Steve laughed out right. “I think you skipped twelve steps there. At least buy me dinner first.”

Eddie blushed as Steve lowered his head on his shoulder and sighed.

“I should get back to class,” he murmured, “but I don’t think I can face other people right now.”

“So don’t,” Eddie said, standing up. He pulled Steve to his feet. “Come on, you and I are playing hooky!”

“Eddie!” Steve laughed, but let him pull him along.

They got out to Eddie’s van, breathless and giggling.

“Where to?” Steve asked as he yanked open the passenger side door.

Eddie just grinned. “I know just the place.”

They started driving and Steve could feel the weight of the world lift from his shoulders the farther they got from the high school.

“Thanks for the assist, Eds,” he said softly. “It’s nice knowing people care.”

Eddie shook his head. “Don’t thank me for being a decent human being, man. It’s embarrassing.”

Steve laughed. “Still a nice feeling.”

They drove the rest of the way in silence. They got out to Lover’s Lake and to a nice boat house.

“I know the owner,” Eddie said. “So sometimes I like to come out here and think. Just look at the water and let it take away all my troubles.”

Steve sat there and listened to the wind on the water.

Eddie pulled out a pack of cigarettes from somewhere. “You smoke?”

Steve nodded and took one off of him.

Eddie patted his coat and pants, cigarette dangling from his lips. “Shit. I think I left my lighter out in the van.”

Steve dug into his pocket and pulled out his Zippo. He lit Eddie’s cigarette first and then his own.

“Thanks, man,” Eddie said.

Steve shrugged. “Not a problem. You provided the smoke, I provided the light.”

Eddie huffed out a laugh. “Fair enough.”

They sat there in comfortable silence for a while.

“You know, it’s forced conformity that made Mrs Hall who she is,” Eddie said.

“What’s that?” Steve asked.

“You must have missed some of my table rants, then.”

Steve shook his head. “I try not stare at pretty boys when they’re drawing attention to themselves. It makes the whole not straight thing a little more obvious. Especially since that was something I knew wasn’t what straight boys did.”

Eddie leaned into his space. “You think I’m pretty, Harrington?”

Steve fobbed him off with his elbow. “You know you are, man. You don’t need me to say it.”

“Joke’s on you, pretty boy,” Eddie cooed. “Flattery works on me.”

Steve blushed and ducked his head. “Duly noted.”

Eddie cackled.

After they finished their cigarettes, Eddie went digging around the boat house.

“Ah ha!” he said triumphantly, holding up a bag of weed. “You partake, Stevie?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I have been to a Tommy H party at least once or twice in my life.”

“Ahhh...” Eddie sighed happily. “One of my best customers.”

Steve giggled. “You got any papers to roll or are we just going to light it on fire and try to get high on the fumes?”

Eddie laughed. He tossed Steve the bag and continued to dig around some more. He pulled out another prize with a “Eureka!”

He shows the bong to Steve with a feral grin.

“Yeah, okay,” Steve said a startled laugh. “That works.”

They passed it back and forth, slowly getting high.

“So what’s forced conformity?” Steve asked after a few minutes.

Eddie hummed and then said, “Oh. It’s this theory I have. Parents, teachers, school counselors trying to force kids into specific boxes. Skinny, scrably kid? Must be a nerd and likes science. Only the kid hates science and math. Maybe he likes art and music. Something that schools are always trying to get rid of by the way. When there are budget cuts, those are always, always the first to be axed.

“Music is also something that is hotly contested. Don’t talk about sex or drugs or even feeling sad, really. Stay in the correct societal lines. No jazz or rock or metal. Just country or pop. Even though those two genres would be nothing without the jazz or blues. Black people’s music...”

Eddie continued to rant as Steve watched him wave his hands around in obvious enthusiasm.

“Does that make sense?” he said after a long time.

Steve who had been mildly buzzed throughout the whole thing nodded. “I think so. And I think...” he frowned. He looked up at Eddie with shining eyes and quivering lip. “I don’t know what I am. Sexually, I mean.”

Eddie sat up. “You don’t have to decide anything right now. You clearly are attracted to men. Does that mean that you aren’t attracted to women? Not necessarily. Like Marty likes both, but he prefers men. Uh...another person I know. They don’t go here obviously. But they prefer women. But every once in a while, they find a man that lights up their world and they go for it.” He huffed out a laugh. “Despite what the name suggests, bisexuality isn’t 50/50.”

Steve frowned. “Huh. Okay. That gives more to think about.”

Eddie shook his head. “You’re still in high school, dude. You have your whole life to figure this out.”

Steve’s answering smile was effervescent. “Thanks, Eds. For all of this today. I just needed to get out of my head for awhile.”

Eddie gave Steve’s shoulder a squeeze. “Any time, Stevie.” He stood up and dusted himself off. “Come on, I should get you back to the school to pick up your car.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, otherwise the auto-body club will strip it for parts and leave it on concrete blocks by morning.”

Eddie laughed. “Yeah, let’s go with that.”

“It’s true!” Steve protested as he got up to follow him.

“It’s really not,” Eddie said. “It’s an urban legend.”

“Come on...” Steve said.

Eddie just shook his head and led them back to civilization.

Part 12  Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17 Part 18  Part 19  Part 20  Part 21

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[ohbutwheresyourheart]

all right gang buckle up it's time to talk wonka

I give Wonka (2023) a 4.5/10. While the movie was visually stunning and I broadly liked Willy, Noodle, the chocolate cartel, and a couple of the better-developed side characters, overall it lacked substance.

I will say up front that one thing I genuinely really loved about the movie was how it leaned into the actual magic of Willy's inventions. They don't just taste good, they have actual magical effects on the people who eat them. That was cool! Very inventive.

I also loved Noodle's character far more than I thought I would. She was a great contrast to Willy's idealism, and it was particularly enjoyable for the younger character to be the more cynical one. Noodle was actually one of my favourite parts of the movie.

Willy's grief for his mother was very touching and was in my opinion probably the best-realised emotional beat of the movie. The reveal that he hoped she would somehow be there when he opened his shop, his disappointment when it didn't happen despite logically knowing it couldn't... It hit home, and reinforced that Willy here is still a young man, little more than a kid, and still refusing to let adult real world logic puncture his dreams, for better or worse.

Now for... everything else.

So the first thing that annoyed me is Willy's characterisation in this movie: he has been "sailing the seven seas for seven years", i.e. has been fending for himself in a vaguely 1800s world across continents with nobody to look out for him, and he is... so blisteringly naive!

I get that he couldn't start out cynical (nor would I want him to) because that leaves no room for character growth between the prequel and the original movie, but it completely shatters my disbelief that a kid could be roaming the world alone for seven years and never before encounter anyone who deceives or takes advantage of him so that he is left so entirely at the mercy of Mrs Scrubbit.

(also lmfao Mrs Scrubbit herself is like... just say you wanted to spoof Mrs Lovett. The name. The attitude. The child assitant. The romance with the surly violent man.)

Even if he was still a little naive... there is no forgiving him handing Lofty the frying pan to hit him over the head with. I watched that scene torn between absolutely bewilderment that they expected me to believe Willy was that stupid, and a reluctant admiration for Lofty, who I can only imagine was astonished and delighted that his stupid plan worked so flawlessly.

That said, I actually really loved the reveal that Willy couldn't read. That felt very logical with his backstory presented in-universe (raised poor in a historical time period by a mother more focused on keeping them both alive and fed in their transitory lifestyle). While it seems Willy's mother was literate (the 'Wonka' on the chocolate bar wrapper), I can buy that Willy just Would Not Learn because he didn't see the point, and his mother either didn't see the need to fight the battle, or thought she'd have longer to teach him but died before she was able to.

The worldbuilding fell apart in other areas, however, such as the supposedly indentured servants running around town without consequence? I get that Willy's laundry invention was doing the actual work for them, but early in the movie there's a huge point made of how they all have to be present for roll call at least once a day, and then this just... kind of gets forgotten about. And then also somehow Mrs Scrubbit is able to just get into the chocolate stores and poison them all without anyone knowing, and also without taking any more direct action like making sure they're all locked up and can't leave? And where the hell was Willy storing all of the chocolates he was making to have enough to totally fill that shop?

Speaking of the indentured servants... okay, you can make a case for most of them. Abacus and Piper actually kind of grew on me. But I am convinced the comedian only exists because they thought of the scene where Willy shares his mother's last chocolate bar and realised they needed six characters to split the pieces between. He does nothing! Absolutely nothing! He is there for a few brief moments of appalling cringe comedy and nothing more! His supposed talent he brings to the team is one throwaway line where he pretends he's talking to a fucking octopus!

And it's infuriating because they could have done something with this guy! What if he actually was a good comedian with a great stage presence who fell on hard times because he made fun of the chocolate cartel in one of his shows and they got him blacklisted? What if he was the one who helped Willy develop his showmanship to sell his chocolates? Wouldn't that have made far more sense, and made him far more integral to the plot, than a few off-colour "hurr durr hate muh wife" jokes???

Controversial opinion on side characters: I loved Hugh Grant the Oompa Loompa. I was expecting to hate him, but he charmed me. I did raise my eyebrows at the fucking speedboat yacht what the hell, but eh, fine, it was one brief shot, I can live with it. I honestly feel like Lofty and Noodle carried this movie on their tiny sarcastic shoulders. What did annoy me was the ending sequences of the movie, where the writers seemed to abruptly realise they had strayed too far from the bounds of 'explicit prequel to the Wilder movie' and tried to fix this by having Lofty spout off a number of Wonka's most memorable lines in quick succession, as if to scream SEE, SEE, IT'S A PREQUEL, HE'S SAYING THE THING, IT'S A PREQUEL---

I think the point could have been hammered home far more effectively by having a last interaction between Slugworth and Willy before the Slugworth's arrest, where Slugworth says something to the effect of "I'll be back, and I'll stop at nothing to ruin you". Cliche? Sure. But at least it would create an actual bridge between the two movies. As it stands, there's little to no actual setup for the spying and conflict because... the chocolate cartel are being sent to prison (indefinitely?). Again, maybe have Slugworth or one of the others point out that fraud isn't a life sentence, and they will be back.

(Actually, I would have given anything for Slugworth to try to talk Noodle around to his side - offer her the money, books, clothes, etc., tell her she's his niece, play it as if he's so glad to have found her, tell her she'll be his heir - give us a dark mirror of Wonka's eventual relationship with Charlie, and a hint of Willy having to face what betrayal by those he trusts looks like.)

I also felt like the movie's attitude towards chocolate itself was bizarrely conflicted. One the one hand: it's the most amazing and delicious and incredible thing ever! Everyone should be able to buy chocolate! On the other: hahaahaha look at the stupid fat police chief and hohohohohoo look at the stupid corrupt chocaholic monks. Yeah, yeah, you can handwave it as a question of degree, but it hits on the same sour note as Augustus Gloop in the original: why is it a bad thing to enjoy chocolate, and even (gasp! shock! horror!) be fat?

Other minor grumbles that probably bother nobody but me:

Sovereigns aren't fucking silver, they're explicitly gold, they've always been gold, they are literally one of the highest denomination of historical British coinage. Hearing characters treat single sovereigns as essentially small change set my teeth on edge from the start. If the writers wanted to use a historical-sounding coin, why not shilling? Actually, shillings would have fit in much better with the in-universe value attributed to silver sovereigns. I've got twelve silver shillings in my pocket even has the same cadence!

I don't like Timothee's singing and did not find any of the songs to be particularly affecting or memorable. The movie did not need to be a musical. I particularly disliked the cover of Pure Imagination, which was juuuuust enough off from the original that it put my back up. I don't know if I feel like this because I was so done with everything else in the movie that annoyed me by that point, but I just... felt like so many of the songs sounded the same? Not sure if that was because of an intention by the composer or a limitation from Timothee's vocal range, or both, but the only song that I even kind of liked was the villain song, and frankly that might just be due to the vague homoeroticism winding its way through that scene.

Why is he milking a giraffe. Mammals don't... they don't just constantly... was the giraffe pregnant??? Have any of the writers ever set foot on a farm ever. Do they think cows just Do That. Please get these people a book on basic biology.

[dovelyanon]

So I was thinking and I realized I don’t know why Teach me how to sing is named teach me how to sing. How’d you come up with that title?

Omg, you asked! I was wondering if anyone was ever going to ask. Warning: I'm about to ex-theatre kid nerd out.

I hope you don't regret this, @rahabrios

The Similarities between Adrien Agreste and Johanna Barker

"Teach me how to sing" is a lyric from 'Green Finch and Linnet Bird'- the damsel's song in Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. In it, Johanna- the play's damsel in distress- is locked in her room. She looks to the songbirds in their cages and wonders how they can sing in these conditions. Feeling powerless, she wishes to learn how to be content despite her circumstances hence the lyric "teach me how to sing". I thought it mirrored Adrien's constant struggle in the fic- between his desire for freedom and his desire to remain and be the perfect son, to make his father happy. Johanna never finds happiness in these circumstances and neither does Adrien.

I had a few titles in mind when I started the fic, but what sold me on "Teach Me how to Sing' was all the fun parallels between the story/Miraculous in general and Sweeney Todd. Here are just a few I remember finding amusing (Light Spoilers for Sweeney Todd ahead):

Judge Turpin and Gabriel Agreste. Judge Turpin is Johanna's guardian, a wealthy man with political power who was obsessed with Johanna's mother. After he drove her mother to her demise, he took charge of Johanna and keeps her locked away under tight surveillance. He ultimately has darker intentions toward her and, when she refuses, he labels her insane and tries to have her committed.

Sweeney Todd and Gabriel/Hawkmoth. Johanna's actual father is Sweeney Todd- a man so consumed with vengeance for his family that he is terrorizing all of London and sinking ever deeper into madness. He knows Johanna is alive, but kind of just... doesn't bother to try and talk to her and isn't urgent about freeing her? He is more occupied with taking revenge on Judge Turpin and lamenting losing his perfect family and wife. He does not try to have a relationship with his daughter because she'd probably "look too much like her (his wife)" and they'd "never be the way we were".

Mrs. Lovett and Nathalie. Mrs. Lovett is Sweeney Todd's dedicated partner in crime. She's arguably more capable and more intelligent than him. She comes up with the bright ideas while he whines and she takes the brunt of his mood swings. But she's head over heels for him despite the fact that he is stingy at best and manipulative at worst with his affections and largely emotionally unavailable to her due to his fixation on his lost wife. He uses the hell out of her anyway. He is ultimately responsible for her demise.

Anthony and Marinette. Anthony is the optimistic and hopeful pauper charming who drops into Johanna's life and helps her to escape from her gilded cage, fighting retaliation by Judge Turpin each step of the way. He is also notorious for having one of the most stalkerish love songs by his archetype in musical history.

Some notable lyrics:

"I'll steal you, Johanna."

"Do they think that walls can hide you?"

"Even now I'm at your window."

He is the well-intentioned but slightly creepy love interest. But we're rooting for them anyway.

Well, yeah. There were a few more, but that's the gist of it. Sorry I turned your ask into a photo essay, @rahabrios

I didn't expect anyone to ask me this and thought the nerding would stay safely locked inside. I guess not. Welp... I recommend Sweeney Todd for anyone who likes musicals and dark themes! The original play with George Hearn and Angela Lansbury is great, but I'm also a big fan of the 2007 movie with Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter <3 Thanks for reading my rambles.

[carrioncoyote]

Things from the Broadway Revival of Sweeney Todd that I can't stop thinking about:

Annaleigh as Mrs. Lovett. Her bubblyness, her unhinged horniness, her slapstick. Pretending to be a SEAGULL. Utterly stole the show for me.

Josh's performance swaying from soft and tired, to explosively angry, to ill-adjusted awkward dad. I never had a crush on him despite his voice constantly playing in my house, but count me in now.

Also: his SHAKING HANDS and staggering backwards in shock after his first kill, only to chuckle darkly like "holy shit, I really just did that. and it felt great!!" Hahhah yesss.

Pirelli flinging shaving cream around the stage and possibly into the first row of orchestra seats. I wanna sit in the splash zone if I ever get to see this again!

The Beadle's line deliveries. That is all.

The entirety of A Little Priest. Absolutely flawless: the hysterical, breathless laughter, the pun delivery, the silly dance moves. Ending on Lovett and Todd smacking the table with a cleaver and rolling pin so flour is sent flying as the lights go black. Usually the song ends with the characters standing triumphantly together, so I thought this was a VERY nice touch of violence. Like "yup, these two are bloodthirsty idiots!" Possibly my new favorite version of my favorite song.

The couple behind me who was obviously there just for the Stranger Things kid (who was a good Toby, btw) and how they were SO shocked and upset by the Twist Reveal at the end. Welcome to the comedy/tragedy stage genre friends, enjoy the pain!

The ending, GOD THE ENDING. I wanna rewind time and watch Josh and Annaleigh slowly take each others hands and fall through the trap door together again. That was a fucking DELICIOUS way to exit.

I miss the factory whistle! I understand why they didn't include it, but I always liked how jarring it is!

Anyway, I'm being Totally Normal about this production and cannot wait for the cast album. Listening to it won't be enough: I'm gonna put the disc between two slices of rye and eat it.

[defiantbird]

Sweeney Todd Revival on Broadway!

Saw it over the weekend and have had some time to marinate on it. As a former theatre (or tech) kid I have to throw my thoughts into the void. I'm serious, this is a long and wordy babble, you are not gonna read it all, I'm really just thought-dumping.

Cast:

We were told as we were entering that Josh Groban, the big draw for most folks, would not be in to play Sweeney. Sweeney was instead played by the guy who usually plays Pirelli. I don't know much about Groban, but I do hear he has a great voice, so I am a little bummed I didn't get to see it.

Still, other guy (Nicholas Christopher per the slip) was...obviously talented-- everyone in the show is extremely talented, it's Broadway. Tremendous voice on him. He had an excellent growl and did my favorite thing (in Epiphany, he went UP on "nor a hundred can assuage me" and it was so STRONG and RAW and AAAGH I love it. Here at 2:22 if you wanna know what I mean. George Hearn is my fave Sweeney.). That said, his Sweeney wasn't my cup of tea. George Hearn ruined all other Sweeneys for me (hyperbole tho). This fellow was a bit stiff...like, he has the sound of the rage but not enough expression of it to get me, if that makes sense. He was explosive but it often didn't feel like a passionate rage, just a loud one.

Certainly a very different Mrs. Lovett (Annaleigh Ashford) than I'm used to. She wasn't my ideal Lovett (again, spoiled by Angela Lansbury), but I can recognize that she was still an excellent one. Gorgeous voice with impressive range, super animated. What was different about her, I think, is that she played her more self-aware than I'm used to. It was a little more "this lady is funny and she knows it" rather than "this lady is fucking weird and it's delightful". But, again, just because that's my preference doesn't mean this was any less good. Very slapstick, way hornier, but ultimately very much understood the character at her core.

The kid who plays Dustin in Stanger Things (Gaten Matarazzo) played Toby! It's clear some people were there just for him. He has a strong singing voice and is just super charming. Truly a treat that I got to see him in this role, I think he fit it really well.

Such! An! Interesting! Johanna! This girl (Maria Bilbao) had a really unique take that I kind of loved. She played her like a bird-- twitchy, always on the verge of panic-- which is such a great choice given the symbolism around the character. I want to scream how much I love this: it ties her to the "Beggar Woman"! Lucy was also very twitchy and jerky, what with the being crazy and all, and it was such a smart way to subtly show that these two are related without the audience being able to realize the connection until the reveal.

Pirelli (Daniel Torres), my beloved. I've never seen a single bad Pirelli.

The guy (John Rapson) playing Beadle Bamford was SO hammy and it was SO good. Super flamboyant, expertly annoying and able to switch so quickly to smarmy and cruel. His timing and tone in Parlor Songs was so fucking funny.

Judge Turpin (Jamie Jackson) honestly kind of took me out of it whenever he was around. He played Turpin as sort of a creepy but ultimately frail geezer. To me, Turpin is usually meant to be like large and intimidating and overbearing. He's an enormous shadow that swallows people. This one to me was just sort of...a grandpa. I didn't feel the evil enough.

Anthony (Jordan Fisher), also my beloved. This guy had, IMO, the most beautiful voice of them all. Like, so beautiful that the sound itself, not the subject matter, made me teary at times., especially during Johanna. Had just the sweetest face and most charming demeanor- didn't feel put on at all. So earnest and naïve and passionate. In general just "have you ever heard a voice and seen a man so beautiful that you cried".

Not much to say about Lucy (Ruthie Ann Miles), and not in a bad way. She had a beautiful voice and played the role well.

Set:

So cool! The show starts in London, with just Sweeney and Anthony standing in front of a bridge. The bridge then becomes the upper room: the flashback for Poor Thing, the upper parlor, Johanna's window. It was abstract for some scenes, like Johanna's window, but it felt very natural. Like there was literally no window, just her looking out between the rails, but you got that it was a window. What was, if I remember correctly, a crane on the side rotated to become the stairs leading down to the cellar, with the "meat hatch" on the back. Again, not sure I'm remembering correctly-- the set is very dark at times and purposely makes you think you're looking at something entirely different-- but I believe the same part had this little niche that became the asylum. Also, of course, the chair. I don't think I have a single complaint about the set. It was clever and wonderful.

A/V:

In the beginning, in his first few lines in The Ballad of Sweeney Todd, Sweeney's mic wasn't working. I hissed internally. It was only a few seconds but I felt the "NOOOO" inside of me that I guess comes from having spent a lot of time hanging with the guys in the A/V booth in high school productions.

I really liked the lighting for the most part. What struck me most was when the ensemble sang. The fog rolled around their feet, the stage entirely dark but for them. At the end Ballad when they were all lined up at the very front of the stage ("Isn't that Sweeney there beside you?" "There! There!"), the light shone up under their feet and gave them this gargoyle-ish look, so stark and deliciously unnerving. My only complaint was this like bright white flashing during City on Fire, but tbh I don't really love that scene anyway, I think it's kind of out of place, so whatevs.

Another petty thing that's less me saying "this was bad" and more me going "nooooooo"- Johanna shooting Fogg...her action didn't quite match up with the bang. Oof ouch.

Choreography/scenes/songs/general thoughts:

The flashback sequence of Poor Thing seems to be done differently every time I see it, but it's always good. This one was really abstract but incredibly striking. Todd and Lovett were lit up below in the shop, and above them it was all silhouettes on the bridge. Lucy moved like Johanna (again, aaah such a good choice), twitchy and nervous. The scenes weren't direct portrayals as it usually is (i.e. Lucy cradling the baby, Beadle and Turpin calling to her, Turpin descending on her at the party) - it was more like interpretive dance and it was very compelling.

Ngl, I didn't enjoy A Little Priest as much as I normally do, although the audience clearly loved it so, y'know. Art is subjective. But Lovett was a little too over-the-top (at one point she collapses laughing on the floor and propels herself around in a little circle), and I didn't get a real sense of mirth from Sweeney.

There is this point in the show, in general, that I love because of the audience. The play is funny. It's really, laugh-out-loud funny. Some scenes are just absolutely ridiculous and it WORKS. But there is a point-- it sort of starts during Not When I'm Around but really kicks in after Parlor Songs, which is like the last funny moment. You spend the whole play going back and forth between Sweeney's intense brooding and Lovett's looniness, and it kind of lures you into lightheartedness despite some of what you're seeing and hearing. It all gets SHARPLY cut off (no pun intended I swear) when Sweeney kills Turpin. The audience goes totally silent and stays that way 'til the end. It's SO well done, it just makes your stomach drop, it takes your face in its hands and says "now here's the real shit". The silence pulls you in and it feels like everyone is holding their breath.

Hehehhehehe I love catching reactions of people who haven't seen the show before. I saw at least one person with their hands over their mouth when they realized the beggar was Lucy.

There was some really great new little things I loved with Sweeney and Lovett. At the end of A Little Priest, instead of the two of them standing there triumphantly, they both slam a butcher knife and a rolling pin down on the table in time with the final note and then the stage goes totally dark.

In the same vein as the above- at the end, usually Sweeney and Lovett kind of look at each other from opposite sides of the stage and then it goes dark. Sometimes there's a door slam. In this one, they turn their backs to the audience and walk through the fog toward the back of the stage. In the very final moment, they clasp hands and jump together into an unseen pit. Like they literally walked hand-and-hand into hell. Internally, I'm making high-pitched sounds over how much I love that.

The ensemble was fascinating. Lots of jerky, kind of interpretive movements. In the beginning Ballad they do this thing where they all simultaneously start drifting to the side and then they suddenly stumble. In God, That's Good! they just sort of slowly lay Toby down on the table and then drag him off. It was weird, but a very intriguing kind of weird. It really unsettled you, which I think the ensemble as "the people of London" is supposed to do. They are meant to be unpredictable, dreamy, listless, and at other times wild. Neato.

I'm sure there's more I can say but I can't think of it right now so let's just stop me here because I've been writing for over an hour. Overall: Really enjoyed it, would recommend. I do wish I knew what Josh Groban Sweeney was like though.

If you actually read all this: Did you see it? Tell me what you thought! I truly really would love to hear about it.

[unhinged222]

Movie review ୨ৎ:

( WARNING: this review includes spoilers, and the movie may contain triggering scenes with bl00d and this review is based off of MY OPINION, if it offends please click off of my page!)

When I first heard this movie was directed from Tim burton ,one of my favorite directors, I was completely intrigued in watching it, and when I finally go the chance too watch it I really loved the scenery and the Victorian gothic style it displays not to mention the music too. I really love how In the musical scenes clearly expresses the emotions of the characters rather than it having to be shown through words.

I like how they made Todd’s weapon one of those old beard razors. All though they’re only a pair of razors, it really gives him an aspect of his past self where he worked in a barber shop before being accused. Johnny depp played his character very good as the rest of the other characters he has played in other of Tim burton movies. All though his character is very edgy, dark and cold I think he could’ve reacted differently when he saw the poorly disguised person, that being his daughter, a bit more differently rather than immideatly thinking to off her, I mean after most of the time throughout the movie he was non stop talking about his wife and his daughter throughout the movie their could’ve been at least a different reaction.

The ending of the movie was most definitely shocking I may say. I didn’t expect for that to play out the way it had done, all thought Mrs. lovett has admitted in multiple scenes she was very in love with Todd, I didn’t expect it at all. Although, the ending was tragic I find it kind of pathetic that Todd just sliced by a little kid so easily. But I can kind of understand the vulnerability because he was just processing the thought of his wife he thought to be dead, alive. I think their could’ve been atleast a fight back??

One of my personal favorite characters has to be his daughter as they call her Johanna. I just love her style, she looks so sweet to talk to as well, Her voice is super tender. And not to mention that her hobby is sewing, like me personally that is such a wonderful hobby to have!!

[heartofaspen]

i have never heard of sweeney todd can you tell me about it (including spoilers i loveee spoilers) -🍇

(SPOILERS!!! also warning for some sensitive topics ) okay so basically i thinkt here's multiple tellings of sweeney todd, but the musical i watched is about a barber named benjamen barker who lives in london. he's married to a beautiful woman named lucy and they have a baby named johanna. however there's this guy named judge turpin and HE thinks lucy is beautiful and wants to be with her, so he falsely accuses & convicts barker of a crime and has him shipped out of the country.

the movie STARTS however when barker comes back to london under the name sweeney todd, accompanied by a young sailor named fuckin uhh. fucking. i literally don't remember he was so forgettable. but anway they part ways. sweeney goes to the building he used to live in, where he meets mrs lovett, who runs an unsuccessful meat pie shop in his old home. she knows a lot about his story and gives him his older silver barber's tools, and when he asks "hey bro what happened to my family" and shes like "umm. well. the judge guy basically drugged and raped your wife at a party while onlookers laughed and it ruined her so horrifically she poisoned herself. also he adopted your kid lul." this sends todd into a rage and he resolves to kill judge turpin.

uhh after that some things go down, sweeney decides to start a barber business where people come into his shop and he MURDERS them after putting shaving cream on their faces. and then he gives the meat to lovett to use in her pies which make her business wildly successful! all while lovett is clearly madly in love with sweeney while he's like spaced out and enraged 24/7 still thinking about lucy and johanna. and there's a sort of side plot where Sailor Boy is trying to romance johanna and turpin is SUPER pissed about it. idk it was not a very interesting side plot

anyway the shop boy lovett hired and has began to become fond of starts to get suspicious and she locks him in the baking house (where sweeney dumps the corpses and they are baked into pies). meanwhile turpin comes for a shave- until this point he is unaware that sweeney is actually barker, and sweeney reveals this to him before murdering him and dumping him down a chute into the baking house. meanwhile the resident crazed woman character who roves the streets telling people lovett & sweeney are evil comes in and says "do i know you?" before sweeney kills her. then he goes down to the baking house w lovett where it is revealed that lovett LIED about lucy successfully killing herself and the crazed woman was Actually Lucy, with her mind scrambled from the poison. sweeney throws lovett into the baking oven and is murdered by the shop boy cradling the corpse of his wife, his throat slit by his own barber's tools.

it was really great and i reccomend!! the gore was not super realistic so if you wanna watch don't worry ab that, the music was AMAZING and depp really killed his role as sweeney =) i left out a bunch but ya there's the official b1rdza synopsis

[forensicated]

Some more quotes from around series 18/19/20

They seem to be more Smithy (what a surprise!) Gina, Mickey and Dan than most...!

Jack: "Since I'm coming with you I'll drive." Mickey: "There's no need for that!" Jack: "Look - I don’t wanna pull rank on you! Get your jacket!" Jeff Simpson: It feels very invasive having the contents of your wallet photocopied. Mickey: Well you'll live - unlike some!

Gina "There was a time I could drink any officer under the table. You ask the Super at Barton Street, I've still got the scars to prove it. Alright, hands up, you win, there's a good girl. Now, call us a cab." Smithy *giggles drunkenly* "You're a cab" Smithy "Ahh but you've never taken on a Dale Smith before have you?" Receptionist "Can I see your ID again please?" Smithy *annoyed* "You can take a photocopy if you want!" Debbie "In future Smithy, when I make a decision about a C.I.D case, I'd like you to give me the professional courtesy not to question it." Smithy "I wasn't questioning it. You were wrong!" Smithy (to snotty receptionist) Thanks for your help! *walks off muttering* "It's good to know the NHS is in such safe hands" *After seeing Cam and Kerry hug* Smithy: Oi Oi! *Smithy leaning against the front desk - tries to escape as Mr Lovett enters* Mr Lovett: Hey - I want to report a crime!! Smithy: *mutters* I thought you might . . . The old squirrels been digging up your lawn again have they Mr Lovett?! Mr Lovett: Don't you be flippant with me, sunshine!!

Cam: Kerry helped me out … Smithy: I bet she did! There's nothing they like more then to catch us with our defenses down, makes us easy targets. As long as she didn't take advantage… Cam: Thanks for your concern Sarge, but she didn’t. She wouldn’t… Smithy: No? Well you obviously don't know Kerry that well *walks off* Smithy: *leant against the wall holding Andrew - DS McAllister’s son's - hand* Well I don't usually go a lot for kids but er . .he's quite handsome ain't he! Debbie: Would you mind having. . . Smithy: Nah - you're alright! *Talking bout Des and Reg* Gina: Des was his hero! Smithy: Yeah - who recently tried to kill him! *Smithy and Reg are guarding Niamh's body in the Chapel Of Rest - a security guard is patrolling - they think it's Des. Smithy charges at him and pushes him against the wall, pinning his arms behind his back* Reg: LEAVE IT . . TURN AROUND . . . *Smithy makes the bloke turn round* It's the security guard Sarge! Smithy: *Innocently* Is it!? . . .*lets go* Oh - sorry mate . . . your boss said he was gonna cancel you for tonight! Security Guard: Did he? Smithy: Yeah . . still er. . . no hard feelings eh . . . *slaps him on the back* Smithy: "So the brief says to this probationer 'Was that a yes or a no officer?' and as he opened his mouth to speak he threw up all over the witness box." Gabriel: "That probationer wasn't you was it Sarge?" Smithy: "Very funny." Kerry: "Des is just upset because the kid blew him a kiss before driving off." Dale: "Awww!" Des: "Very funny!" Kerry: "Men and their emotions!" *Arches eyebrow and walks off leaving Dale glaring.* Debbie: "Anything interesting?" Mickey: "Well if you get off on checking phone records yes." Juliet: "She's in a good mood" Mickey: "She's always like that when someone tries to pull her." Juliet: "Really?" Mickey: "Yeah - last night apparently." Juliet: "Anyone we know?" Mickey: "Well with Debbie McAllister’s choice in men it could be any number of psychotics." Juliet: "Oh come on, that's a bit unfair isn’t it?" Mickey: "She's always coping off with nutters. Husband ended up shooting himself. Juliet: "Yeah - I heard something about that." Mickey: "Tom Chandler was as sick as they come. But Debbie - she couldn’t get enough of it." Juliet: "Debbie was married to Superintendent Chandler?" Mickey: "Yeah. I don't know who I felt sorry for sorry for the most till the Super shot himself. Juliet: "Wow!" Mickey: "Anyone who gets involved with Debbie McAllister needs their head testing!"

Mickey: *bout Christmas* “I’m sure you had a lovely time with your family at Christmas. But some of us used to dread that poxy tree going up every year. Do you know, all it meant to me was me old man hitting me mother, me mother hitting me old man, and poor little old me on all fours hiding behind the sofa, begging them to stop. Happy bloody Christmas eh?!” *Kid noses in a folder Smithy: "You alright there?" Kid: "Erm, I'm, looking for PC Taviner" Smithy: *Closes folder* "Well you ain't gonna find him in there are ya?" *About the kid that steals the area car* Dale: "He left bout 20 minutes ago." Des: "Didn't you think of holding him till I got back?" Dale: "What for? Visiting a police station in a built up area?"

Man: (in hospital that Mickey and Duncan are visiting) Come on - get us a nurse lads? Mickey: (walking of with Duncan) Breaks your heart, dunnit Man: I heard that!

*Kerry trying to flirt* Kerry: *Sees hole in Dale’s uniform* “Aww look, you’ve ripped your uniform” Dale: “Yeah I did it on a fence. Don’t do that, you’ll make the hole bigger” Kerry: “Got someone who can mend it for you?” Dale: “I can sew” Kerry: “Well show me when you’ve done it, I’ll give you marks out of ten” *Kerry’s continued attempts to flirt, and Smithy’s first response.* Kerry: “Work smarter not harder, isn’t that what you say Sarge?” Dale: “I don’t appreciate it being quoted back at me though” Kerry: “What even when I’m right?” Dale: “Especially when you’re right” Kerry: “You should take it as a compliment Sarge; it means I listen to you!” Dale: “Nah, look, you’ve been working really well all round lately. Focused, intelligent. It’s good to see. Kerry: “As opposed to what? Earlier?” Dale: “Accentuate the positives.” Kerry: “You what?” Dale: “I’m simply swapping compliments with you PC Young; in fact, I may go as far as taking you out for a drink tonight. What do you think?” Kerry: “Don’t you have to ask me first?” Dale: *Rolls his eyes and clears his throat* OK, “Would you, like to come out for a drink with me? And I don’t mean with half the relief this time. Just you and me” Kerry: “When?” Dale: “Tonight.” Kerry: “Love to, yeah” Smithy: "I wonder if the Inspector would think it a good idea to go behind your Sergeants back?" Kerry: "Probably not!" Kerry: "You're down here cos you fancy me" Dale: "You don’t know what you're talking about!" Kerry: "Big brave solider Smithy. The only thing he can't handle is his own emotions. You're such a cliché mate, it’s laughable!" *Kerry starts to undress* Dale: "What you doing?" Kerry: "This is what you're after isn’t it?" Dale: "You what?" Kerry: "Sex without any strings." Dale: "You're behaving like a slag!" Kerry: "Oooh I love it! You treat me like a slag. But you don’t want me to behave like one. Tell me to stop." Dale: *Eyes her warily* "You're making a fool of yourself." Kerry: "Do you want me to stop? I will if you tell me to" *She pulls Smithy's tie off as he grabs her arm. Dale: "I've told ya" *She kisses him* Kerry: "Come on Sarge" Mickey: (To Jim) You’re their FLO. Shouldn’t you be washing up or something Mickey: Maybe it was Jack the Ripper, come back to terrorise the Larkmead Shopping Centre. Smithy to Des "No, I agree with Reg. If you want a pink panda sweetheart you can have one" Des "I don't want one!" *coy* "it's not my colour..."

Smithy: (to Andrea) We're like two lost souls on a boat. Andrea: what boat's that then? Smithy: I've got no idea... listen, listen Andrea: What? Smithy: It's not the size of the vessel... Andrea: No, don't say it! Smithy: but it's the motion of the ocean

Gabriel: Wonder where we'd have gone for my stag party... Smithy: *mutters* Some dive probably... Gabriel: Well it's usually the best man's job isn't it....and that'd probably have been you. Gabriel: I got jealous some times....it was always Smithy this, and Smithy that...and I was like yeah, alright Kerry... Smithy: Alright Gabriel...

Andrea (about Gabriel): You know he's covering something up Smithy Smithy: Well, that makes two of you

Roger: That could have been the shortest stint I've ever seen. Squished like a cat on your first day. Dan: You're all heart Roger: Oh, Me? I'm famous for it.

Smithy: *to Gina* But I forgot! You don't need any help from anyone, ever, do ya! Gina: ....I haven't got the big support network to fall back on! Smithy: The irony is that you have! You just won't let them!

Jack: Well you might think he's corrupt. But I know my officers. Liz: You didn't know about his affair with Andrea Dunbar... Mickey: The point is, he's married to the prosecution barrister. Jack: So? Liz: Which makes him uniquely placed. Mickey: His marriage his rocky. His mistress is dead. Liz: He's at home, feeling sorry for himself. Mickey: McGowan comes along, offers him a nice juicy bung. Liz: Manson uses his wife to gain access to the witness, who suddenly decides to clam up on us. Jack: This is all conjecture. Liz: It's a theory. For which we need evidence. Mickey: Which is where you come in, Guv. It would make things easier round here if we could have your co-operation. There's a couple of Neil Manson's cases we'd like to look into, for evidence of corruption. *Phil knocks* Alright Phil? Phil: Hello Mickey! Jack: Just excuse me a minute will you? Phil...*takes him outside* Did you know about Neil and PC Dunbar? ....Did you? Phil: *looks awkward before nodding* What's this about? Jack: We've got the national crime squad in there making a fool out of me and this department. Liz: *walks out and looks at them* Just going to get a coffee... Jack: I'm just off to the gents, *to Phil* I think you'll find you need to go too

Mickey: Guv Neil: Hello Mickey. What're you guys up to? Jack: *quickly* Shouldn't you be enjoying your time off? You're not going to have any when you get back here.

[blakeboldt-blog]

Best Albums of 2022

“Farm to Table,” Bartees Strange.

“Kingmaker,” Tami Neilson.

“River Fools & Mountain Saints,” Ian Noe.

“Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe in You,” Big Thief.

“Be-Bop!” Pasquale Grasso + "Linger Awhile," Samara Joy.

“Topical Dancer,” Charlotte Adigéry and Bolis Pupul.

“SOS," SZA. 

“Lucifer on the Sofa,” Spoon. 

“Un Verano Sin Ti,” Bad Bunny. 

“Angel in Realtime,” Gang of Youths.

“A Beautiful Time,” Willie Nelson.

“Big Time,” Angel Olsen. 

“Crooked Tree,” Molly Tuttle & the Golden Highway. 

“One Day,” The Cactus Blossoms.  

“White Trash Revelry,” Adeem the Artist. 

“Ashley McBryde Presents: Lindeville,” Ashley McBryde.

“Teeth Marks,” S.G. Goodman.

“Bummer Year,” Good Looks.  

“I Walked with You a Ways,” Plains.

“MOTOMAMI,” Rosalía. 

“Renaissance,” Beyoncé.

“Once Twice Melody,” Beach House.

“A Light for Attracting Attention,” The Smile.  

“Sometimes, Forever,” Soccer Mommy.

“Blue Rev,” Alvvays. 

“Blue Skies,” Dehd.

“ILYSM,” Wild Pink. 

“And in the Darkness, Hearts Aglow,” Weyes Blood.

“View with a Room,” Julian Lage.

“Preacher’s Daughter,” Ethel Cain.

“Carry Me Home,” Mavis Staples & Levon Helm.

“Feel Like Going Home,” Miko Marks & the Resurrectors.

“It Was a Home,” Kaina.

“Dripfield,” Goose.

“Painless,” Nilüfer Yanya. 

“Natural Brown Prom Queen,” Sudan Archives. 

“Warm Chris,” Aldous Harding.  

“Humble Quest,” Maren Morris.

“Weather Alive,” Beth Orton.

“Bell Bottom Country,” Lainey Wilson.  

“Multitude,” Stromae. 

“Fossora,” Bjork. 

“We’ve Been Going About This All Wrong,” Sharon Van Etten.

“Just Like That,” Bonnie Raitt.  

“Dawn FM,” The Weeknd.

“This Is a Photograph,” Kevin Morby.

“Pink Moon,” Pink Sweat$.

"Born Pink,” Blackpink. 

“Gifted,” Koffee. 

“Kumoyo Island,” Kikagaku Moyo + “Gung Ho,” KOLUMBO.

“Optimism,” Jana Horn + “Classic Objects,” Jenny Hval.

“Pompeii,” Cate Le Bon.

“Wild Loneliness,” Superchunk.

“Scalping the Guru,” Guided by Voices.

“Palomino,” Miranda Lambert.

“Summer at Land’s End,” The Reds, Pinks & Purples.

“The Last Thing Left,” Say Sue Me.  

“God Save the Animals,” Alex G. 

“The Tipping Point,” Tears for Fears.

“Labyrinthitis,” Destroyer.

“Special,” Lizzo. 

“The New Faith,” Jake Blount.  

"In These Times," Makaya McCraven.  

“Ugly Season,” Perfume Genius. 

“Emotional Creature,” Beach Bunny.

“Present Tense,” Yumi Zouma.

"Hypnos," Ravyn Levae. 

“Stumpwork,” Dry Cleaning. 

“Me/and/Dad,” Billy Strings. 

“MUNA,” Muna.

"CAZIMI,” Caitlin Rose.

“SPARK,” Whitney.

“Midnights,” Taylor Swift. 

“Stress Dreams,” Greensky Bluegrass.

“Only the Strong Survive,” Bruce Springsteen. 

“Wet Leg,” Wet Leg.

“Three Dimensions Deep,” Amber Mark.

“Experts in a Dying Field,” The Beths.

“Laurel Hell,” Mitski. 

“The Parts I Dread,” Pictoria Vark. 

"Take It Like a Man,” Amanda Shires. 

“God’s Work,” LeAnn Rimes. 

“Loose Future,” Courtney Marie Andrews.

“12th of June,” Lyle Lovett.

“Few Good Things,” Saba.  

“The Hometown Kid,” Gabe Lee. 

“Give or Take,” Giveon.

"Life on Earth," Hurray for the Riff Raff.

"Earthlings," Eddie Vedder.

“Giving the World Away,” Hatchie.

“The Man from Waco,” Charley Crockett. 

“Mr. Sun,” Little Big Town. 

“Gemini Rights,” Steve Lacy.

“Married in a Honky Tonk,” Jenny Tolman. 

“Pigments,” Dawn Richard & Spencer Zahn.

“Can I Take My Hounds to Heaven?” Tyler Childers.

“Dance Fever,” Florence and the Machine.

“It’s Almost Dry,” Pusha T. 

“Going Places,” Josh Rouse + “Heartmind,” Cass McCombs.

"100 Proof Neon," Ronnie Dunn. 

[vigilantdesert]

What is the muse that you write for the longest?

In what style did you start to write (First person, third person, *-style or novel-style?)

Is there anything you would have changed when you started writing now that you have more experience?

Happy Mundaymas - Accepting

What is the muse that you write for the longest?

Mrs. Nellie Lovett, of Sweeney Todd fame! She was the second character I ever picked up, the first canon character I ever played, and a muse I carried for something like 10 years? That's non-continuous, of course, there were gaps here and there, but I was generally playing her with someone, even if it was on discord or a private server. I brought her through so many format changes, from YouTube comments to Rolepages to IMs/Skype/Google Chat/Discord to a multimuse Tumblr Blog. I have talked about her before, both in this munday round and several before, but it's hard for me to really express how fond I am of her. I stopped playing her for two reasons - I became burned out on roleplay in general after a few bad bouts of out of character drama and life beating me down, and also I believed I had done everything I could with the character. She came with me through so many writing phases, had several dozen interpretations of her family, went through at least three momentous backstory changes, and stayed with me during one of the most tumultuous roleplay partnerships I'd ever had. I doubt I'll ever pick her up again, both because I've completed her story and because I've grown in ways such that I don't need her the same way, but I'll always remember the way those partnerships impacted me.

In what style did you start to write (First person, third person, *-style or novel-style?)

Jesus uhhhhh I don't know if we even did asterisks at first, I'm not going to lie to you all. We were bare bones basic bitches back in those Youtube Days. If we had actions (we usually didn't) it ended up just being a different sentence, not de-marked from dialogue at all. We did switch to asterisks soon after I started, though, it became too confusing otherwise.

Is there anything you would have changed when you started writing now that you have more experience?

This isn't quite so much about my writing and more about me as a person, but God I wish I had more self-esteem/boundaries at the time. I didn't have a ton of friends when I started roleplaying, I had fewer good ones (Most of them would grow up to be fine, but we were in middle school and middle-schoolers, myself included, are awful). The ones I did have often felt like charity on their part, since my teachers had a rule that you couldn't sit alone at lunch, so people got assigned/got "helper tasks" if they sat with the lonely kids as lunch. Trust me when I say it did not help bullying and frankly made it worse for the kids who did sit alone because we all knew that they got paid off to do it. The point is, I didn't know where I should draw the line if I felt uncomfortable, and I let myself get into a couple of really manipulative partnerships for the first four or five years. I did finally cut them out and even though I definitely did have my fair share of drama after that, my overall experience was so much better it was ridiculous.

[sattelite-of-love]

Sweeney Todd (2007) + Letterboxd Reviews

[forthegothicheroine]

Top 5 female antiheroes?

My distinctions between who's an antihero and who's a likeable villain or a hero with dark traits may be arbitrary, but here goes!

1. Moll Flanders. I love Moll so much, you guys! If you haven't read the book, it's basically the plot of Reba McEntire's "Fancy"- girl is born into poverty and decides that she is going to be a fine lady no matter what she has to do to get there. I love that she is so straightforward about herself, including noting when she does things that can or can't be excused (conning people when she was poor was to survive, breaking and entering when she was better off was just for the thrill and she does feel bad about that.) She takes pity on women in bad situations, and she also mugs schoolgirls for their jewelry. She marries lots of people (the incest was an accident) and loses track of her children and runs a crime empire based on stolen imported lace. She periodically stops the story to tell the reader that she's only warning them not to follow her example, then continues to talk about how she ended up rich and happy from all this. I've been wanting to write fanfic for years about her having a conversation with a de Sade character because for a book from 1722, her views on morality are surprisingly pragmatic; she seems to feel that pure virtue and pure sin are both luxuries, and people without the money or leisure to indulge them just do what they can. She should be played by Patti Lupone.

2. Speaking of Patti Lupone, Mrs. Lovett! Unlike simple robbery, tricking people into cannibalism cannot be excused due to low money, but she's very funny about it! I'm actually less into her relationship with Sweeney Todd than her relationship with Toby, because it's another instance of a villain who feels sympathetic and charitable to individual people without stopping being evil, which is a trope I love. As a theatrical role, I like the range of attitudes she can be played with, from Angela Lansbury's witchy mania to Patti Lupone's washed up femme fatale, or even Helena Bonham Carter's hopeless romantic grabbing at a dream that can't happen. Please, please, let me play Mrs. Lovett someday! (I would also like to play genderbent Toby but I'm getting on in years.)

3. Baba Yaga. I read a lot of Russian fairy tale books as a kid (they had the best illustrations) and Baba Yaga was a real revelation to me: she could be a good guy or a bad guy depending on the story! That was amazing! She could terrorize helpless girls or help them defeat villains worse than she was, and she could never be killed off for real! She plays the role of fairy godmother to Vasilissa's Cinderella, except her version of glass slippers and a pumpkin carriage is just murder! And in her defense, she decorates her house with flaming skulls and heroes keep bothering her; to paraphrase Shrek, what does she have to do to get a little privacy?

4. Morgan le Fay. I like to think she and Baba Yaga get together once a month for Morally Ambiguous Witch Brunch. She's another character who can be a good guy or a bad guy depending on the story, or a good guy who goes bad or a bad guy who goes good. Given how many contradictory legends there are about her, I like to think of her as mostly benevolent but with a very bad attitude and a deadly temper when crossed. I think she can always be found lounging around in velvet with a goblet of wine in her hand, even on 'off' days.

5. Keiko Furukura. The protagonist of Convenience Store Woman is more of a classical antihero; she doesn't kill anyone or anything like that, people just find her weird and unsympathetic. Keiko, as the title indicates, works at a convenience store (which are much nicer places in Japan than in America, but still not a super prestigious job.) She likes putting things in order and having only surface level relationships with other people, but her mother is worried because she isn't married or working a more impressive job, so she sets out on an ill-advised journey to become more 'normal.' One of the blurbs on the back of the book called it "chilling." I think this is completely unfair- she just wants to live her life the way that makes her happy!

[headcanonsandhijinx]

Theatre Kid Jason Todd

I got this idea from the Jason Todd playing Sweeney Todd post I posted yesterday, and then couldn’t stop thinking about what shows he would be good in and it spiraled into this list. My reasoning tends to stem from ‘imagine Jason singing this’ and then making myself sad. I’m gonna do male Jason roles and genderbent female Jason roles too.

Here we go!

Male Jason Roles...

Sweeney Todd from ‘Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street’. This is the role that started the whole AU, plus he already has the white hair streak!

Marius from ‘Les Miserables’. Can you imagine him singing ‘Empty Chairs At Empty Tables’? Because I can and it makes me wanna cry.

Quasimodo from ‘Hunchback of Notre Dame’. Again, imagine Jason singing ‘Out There’, ‘Heaven’s Light’, ‘Heaven’s Light Reprise’ and ‘Made of Stone’!

Clyde from ‘Bonnie and Clyde’. Imagine Jason singing ‘Raise A Little Hell’ and I just really like this one.

Charlie from ‘Kinky Boots’. Just Jason in giant red heels XD

Orpheus from ‘Hadestown’. I just really like the idea of Jason playing a character who has a very opposite personality to Jason. (But can you imagine him singing “I used to see the way the world could be. But now the way it is, is all I see” that shit hurted)

Fiyero from ‘Wicked’. I just think he’d be good in this role, especially ‘Dancing Through Life’ and ‘As Long As You’re Mine.’

Jack from ‘Newsies’. Mainly just because I really like the song ‘Santa Fe’ and can imagine Jason singing it.

(Edit) Light from ‘Death Note’. Jason Todd is the first fictional character that pops into my head when listening to ‘Where Is The Justice’ and ‘Hurricane’ and you cannot tell me that he wouldn’t go all out with these songs!

(Edit) Whizzer from ‘Falsettos’. Jason singing “You Gotta Die Sometime” that is all.

(Edit) At the request of @bellacardoza16, Roger from ‘Rent’. I don’t too much about Rent, but from clips I’ve seen I think Jason would make a good fit for this role.

Female Jason Roles...

Mrs Lovett from ‘Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street’. I can just imagine Jason(or Jane for a female name?) being able to capture Mrs Lovett’s kinda frantic energy really well and would have a ball during ‘A Little Priest’.

Fantine from ‘Les Miserables’. ‘I Dreamed A Dream’ need I say more?

Katherine Howard from ‘Six The Musical’. Can you imagine Jay, who went through hell as a kid, singing the climax of ‘All You Wanna Do’? Because I can and all I wanna do is cry about it.

Anastasia from ‘Anastasia’. Because I think that ‘Journey To The Past’ would be amazing.

Bonnie from ‘Bonnie and Clyde’. Jay playing Bonnie would be awesome, especially ‘Dying ain’t so bad’.

Eurydice from ‘Hadestown’. Female Jason singing ‘Flowers’! I also think it would be intriguing as Eurydice and Jason have had similar hardships, struggling with poverty and homelessness.

Elphaba from ‘Wicked’. I like to think that Jay would slay every song that Elphaba sings, especially ‘No Good Deed’! Can you imagine Jay dressed in Elphie’s black dress with the cape and her hair blowing out around her as she sings. It would be wicked. Pun fully intended.

Elsa from ‘Frozen’. Jay singing ‘Let It Go’ and ‘Monster’ that is all.

Olive from ‘The 25th Annual Puttnam County Spelling Bee’. Jay singing ‘The I Love You Song’.

Not a role but Jay being in a performance of 35MM A Musical Exhibition and singing ‘The Ballad of Sara Berry’ and ‘Leave Luanne’.

Edit: Veronica Sawyer from ‘Heathers’. @princess-anatha you’re absolutely right! How could I forgotten Veronica? Jay would absolutely kill it and then die inside when performing ‘Dead Girl Walking’ with the Batfam in the audience (Tim is a minor theatre kid and knew this would happen and didn’t tell anyone else for his own amusement.)

If anyone has any other suggestions I’d absolutely love to hear them. However, I’m only a secondary blog so I can’t reply to comments but can respond to reblogs.

[yikesharringrove]

imagine

if billy and steve

did high school theater 👁👄👁

this is seriously something I think about ALL THE TIME. I’m such a theater kid these two in theater is what I think about at night to go to sleep i’m not kidding

Billy as Roger in Rent also Steve as Mark (my Jewish Steve headcanon returns yeah boi)

Steve as Riff in West Side Story (although Billy would make a good Riff too. And Steve could probably do Tony well too. idk) Okay I want Steve as Riff for Cool and the Jet Song but Billy as Riff for Dear Officer Krupke I can’t tell you why I can just tell you I’m right

Billy as Billy Flynn and Steve as Amos Hart in Chicago (try NOT to get sad thinking abt Steve doing Mr. Cellophane are you serious??? That boy lashed out so hard to NOT feel invisible oh god I’m getting emo)

I lose my shit over the idea of nb Steve discovering Hedwig and the Angry Inch (that show made me Realize Some Things) but also imagine Billy as Hedwig and Steve as Tommy Gnosis and Robin as Yitzhak (Jewish Robin, anyone?)

I started a musical theater club at my university with some friends and I have been pushing really hard to do Heathers bc I would LOVE to have lesbian Veronica and J.D. but also consider: Steve as Veronica, Billy as J.D. (solely for Dead Girl Walking 🤤), Steve as Heather Chandler bc Candy Store is iconic and he would live his best life getting to be a mythic bitch like Heather C., and Billy and Steve as Ram and Kurt bc that idea made me laugh

Steve as Harry, Billy as Bill in Mamma Mia just to be cursed

Billy as Link and Steve as Corny Collins in Hairspray

Steve as Seymor, Billy as Dr. Orin Scrivello DDS in Little Shop of Horrors (Billy would get his life with the Dentist! song but lowkey I think he’d hate playing the role and having to Be Like That to Audrey)

Billy as Emcee and Steve as Cliff in Cabaret

Billy as Sweeney Todd and Steve as Pirelli in Sweeney Todd (although I could see this in reverse too) I could also see Steve as Anthony and now I’m thinking abt Robin as Mrs. Lovett and Dustin as Tobias for the Nothin’s Gonna Harm You song and I’m getting emo over it

Steve as Mike and Billy as Al? Or maybe Zach in A Chorus Line. idk I actually really like this show and want Steve as Mike real bad

Steve as Jamie in Everyone’s Talking About Jamie which I have a really good boot for if anyone wants it that show makes me emo it’s so good That show would be so emotional for Steve with all the dad stuff I’m 🥺

Steve as Danny, Billy as Kenickie (which is the superior men’s role tbh) in Grease

Steve as Jack in Into the Woods OR, galaxy brain, Billy as Cinderella’s prince, Steve as Rapunzel’s prince can u IMAGINE those two doing Agony and then Billy fucking the baker’s wife I’m gonna cry

lmao b Billy as Stacee Jaxx in Rock of Ages i’m gonna cry

and for a Rocky Horror Picture Show shadow cast, I want Steve as Frank, Billy as Rocky, but for a production of The Rocky Horror Show I want the roles reversed (remember that picture of Joe Keery with like, blond hair. I think abt that every goddamn day) Steve would also be cute as Brad and Billy can and would go ham as Riff-Raff

and if you wanna have a good time, picture Billy as Satan in The Devil’s Carnival. You’re welcome. (Also Steve as The Twin)

Steve as Charlie Price in Kinky Boots

And they fuck at EVERY cast party but you didn’t hear it from me

[youarestellarverse]

God there are so. many. things. I need to tweak.

A substantial portion of which are because I never learn my lesson about not showing numbers which is a problem because I like Jason am dyscalculic 😬

revisions for clarity:

get rid of all of the damn numbers that are not vitally important to the plot

fix contradictions across different fics

tweak throwaways that should, in retrospect, be significant

Things I still have to do on a housekeeping front:

post the f-list profiles

masterpost of fic links

masterpost of information that is actually relevant

maybe take the last (ultimately irrelevant) masterpost and make it a headcanons etc post?

answer comments (partially complete!!)

creatively:

cAST THE REST OF THE DAMN SHOWS

(I have thoughts but I'm saving some of them; I know who Annabeth, Rachel, Jason, Percy, Leo, Reyna and Michael Yew are playing, and Leo, Reyna and Annabeth I haven't yet ~disclosed~...I may leave some spoilery spaghetti-throwing under a cut)

get over myself and follow through on an idea I had for sharing art while being slightly less self-conscious

and yup.

Spoilery bits:

Annabeth (singing out of her range) is Mrs. Lovett, because she and Jason have excellent chemistry.

Percy is Anthony.

Rachel is Johanna.

Leo is Toby.

Reyna is Pirelli.

I don't know who's playing the beggar woman (Piper may be the only mezzo left?), I'm not sure who's playing Beadle Bamford, I'm not 100% sure on who the ballad ghosts are— though Clarisse is one of them.

I also have Beauty and the Beast:

Piper as Belle

Jason as the Beast

Annabeth as the Witch

Percy might be Lumiere, but I feel like Leo would also excel, so I'm undecided.

I made Michael Yew a basso profondo, which limits his roles— though I'm fairly certain he plays Gaston.

Reyna is Mrs. Potts.

Rachel is Madame de la Grande Bouche.

The Apollo kids fill in the leads I can't figure out how to fill. Still missing Le Fou and Cogsworth.

And The Scarlet Pimpernel:

Percy as Percy Blakeney (he specifies in his bio that his name is Perseus, not Percival)

Piper as Marguerite St. Just

Jason as Citizen Chauvelin

Potentially Leo as Armand St. Just, since he and Percy are the tenors at that moment (freshman year; they both mature into baritones)

And Into the Woods, which I've shared the cast on already (but revised slightly):

Jason and Percy as the Princes

Piper as The Baker's Wife

Leo as Jack

Hazel as Little Red

I still reeeeeally want Reyna as The Baker but Frank could pull it off too, I think

Rachel as Cinderella

Annabeth was originally Cinderella's Mother, but I think I might want her for Rapunzel

I don't have a Witch, Narrator, whichever soprano Annabeth ends up not playing, or like, any of the ensemble

I don't have a Spring Musical for Sophomore, Junior, or Senior years, but I have two Freshman shows that must be in Freshman year because of the timeline (Piper and Jason actually have very good chemistry until they start dating halfway through the run of the Freshman Spring Musical, which is Pimpernel, and Thalia vows to NEVER EVER CAST COUPLES AS COUPLES EVER AGAIN EVER)

And of course lastly, we have Les Mis:

Nico as Jean Valjean

Reyna as Javert

Piper as Fantine

Percy as Enjolras

Frank as Marius

Leo as Courfreyrac

Clarisse as Feuilly

Jason as Grantaire/The Bishop of Digne

possibly Beckendorf as Combferre

Cosette may be either Rachel or Annabeth, but

I kinda want Rachel for Madame Thenardier, on the basis of being fucking hilarious

Harley as Little Gavroche

Hazel as Eponine (because a. everyone in the world would bawl their eyes out over A Little Fall Of Rain with Frank and b. she can practice at home and Nico can stew himself into chowder over how much it hurts— "he was never mine to lose; why regret what could not be? These are words he'll never say; not to me, not to me, not to me.")

No idea who's playing Thenardier or Young Cosette.

And that's not even fucking getting into the Shakespeare and the other non-musicals, such as The Importance Of Being Earnest

Jason as Jack

Percy as Algernon

Piper as Gwendolyn and Annabeth as Cecily, or the other way around— depending on whether they do the show before or after Piper starts dating Jason. (I like the idea of Annabeth usually playing ingenues because of the thing where she deliberately attempts to make people think she's a dumb blonde so they let their guard down, so I'm leaning towards the before.)

Plus Much Ado About Nothing, which I haven't cast at all, and A Midsummer Night's Dream, which I have cast but again it doesn't fit the damn timeline:

Annabeth as Titania

Reyna as Oberon

Percy as Bottom

Leo as Puck

Piper as Helena

Jason as Demetrius

Hazel as Hermia

Frank as Lysander

And Romeo and Juliet:

Frank as Romeo

Hazel as Juliet

Percy as Mercutio

Jason as Benvolio

Annabeth as Lady Capulet

And then I just have a bunch of holes.

Ideally, I wanted two musicals and two straight plays per year— one Shakespeare and one not-Shakespeare— but I don't even know if that's possible anymore lmao 🙃

This for the record is one of the things that is tripping me up lmao.

[seanhtaylor]

Erosion

The breeze that blew the dust around seemed to whisper rumors that a storm was on its way. I’d only swept off about half of the porch, and I wasn’t even close to being finished yet; after the porch came the back storage room. Since I was just a few feet away the from the open doorway, I could hear Pa whistling, but the wall hid him from me. He’d done a lot of counting in there all week.

Big Bull stood silently on the porch, and watched intently as I worked. His stare never left. Never turned. Never stopped. It was as eternal as the thin flat frown the woodworker had given him. He had skin like rust mixed with mud, and his outfit was a rainbow montage of feathers and animal skins. The man who made him was an Indian too.

Three years ago, Pa had finally bought that store he’d always dreamed of owning. Nettle’s General Store was to Pa the culmination of years of hopes, and the end of the elusive vision that never materialized, yet had continued to tease him me mercilessly. Most of his time, free or otherwise, was spent in that store. Neither my mother, sister, nor I saw much of him after that, except sometimes for supper. Meticulously he’d walk each aisle of the small store and stoop to check every bin of merchandise, neglecting nothing at all. Every yarn or straw doll, knitted scarf, Mr. Goodbar, everything was accounted for and inventoried.

Dust flew and danced around me in the breeze while I swept. Every few minutes, whenever his counting brought him to where he could see me out front, Pa would yell out to me to get on with it, or to tell me that I missed a spot. He wasn’t a big man, but he had a big voice. Most of the time he just kept to himself, staying busy with his inventory list.

“Hey, Pa! You need any help counting them yarn dolls?” I yelled, hoping my words would sneak around the doorway to get his attention. “Miss Barnes says my adding’s about the best in the whole class.” I gave him a few seconds to show. “Hey, Pa! “

“What you yelling about now, Midge?” Midge was the nickname given to me by most of the other kids at the schoolhouse. Short for midget, it never let me forget that I was less, at least in stature, than my peers. It was the only name by which most folks in town knew me. “Say, you ain’t done with this porch yet? Dang, son... Quit fooling around with that Indian, and finish the porch.”

“Yes, sir.”

The wind played tag with the dust, and kept me sweeping twice as much as I should’ve just to get done. When I did finish, I gave my broom to Big Bull, leaning it beside his spear. He was surely a sight, that proud warrior, carrying a war spear firm and ready to fight, and there propped up was against him a ramshackle excuse for a broom. If only a real heart beat underneath that chest of oak, it would’ve burst wide open of humiliation.

“So... Who are we gonna get after today, Big Bull? Billy the Kid?”

Indian eyes gazed straight ahead, seeming to point visibly at a victim for the day. Up main street, like the naked emperor in that Hans Christian Anderson story, walked Kyle Lovett.

“Good idea...” I told Big Bull, “Good idea...”

* * *

“Hey Mee-uhge,” Kyle teased, dragging the nickname into two syllables, “You and your Indian chased any rustlers out of town today?”

Kyle stopped in the middle of the street to make sure I didn’t ignore the remark. He looked different than usual. Clean. Dressed in his Sunday suit. Even his brown, mangled hair was combed. He didn’t look like the same Kyle who had bloodied my nose two years ago.

I knew it was stupid to provoke him again, but I couldn’t help it. Besides, Big Bull was with me. “Kyle? Hey, Kyle? What you all dressed up for? Today ain’t Sunday, and there ain’t a funeral in town or nothing.”

“Look here, Midge,” he shook a fist at me, “What I wear is my own business, not yours, runt.”

That was the Kyle I was used to, no matter how he looked. That was the bully who had been responsible for getting me and Big Bull together in the first place. When he had pounded my nose, Pa had been busy in the back of the store, and my mother had been up visiting my aunt and uncle in Missouri, so where else had I to go but to the Indian? He didn’t tell me to hush up my racket, or that I was too big to cry. He had just listened and let me wet his feet and legs with my tears and the blood from my nose. By the time I’d finished, the swelling had gone down, and most of the bruises weren’t sore anymore. Pa had sure been mad though; the blood wouldn’t wash out, so my shirt had been pretty much ruined, and it was a gift from my cousins.

“I just wanted to know. Didn’t mean to make nothing of it.”

“Well, it ain’t none of your business anyhow... but if go telling everybody, I’ll get you like last time.” Satisfied, he spun around, facing away from the big Windham house at the edge of Chattville, and strutted off like the only rooster in a house full of hens.

* * *

Sometimes Big Bull and I would pass the afternoon hoping for a new General Motors’ car to drive by. Most people who owned a car had an older Model T from ten or twelve years ago. The Windhams owned the only General Motors’ vehicle in town, but they only got it out when they went out to another town. Mostly everybody walked since Chattville was so small.

Before Kyle’s dust could get a chance to settle, Molly Windham came skipping up the street, her red hair pulled off to the sides of her head in pigtails, each one bouncing without rhythm, beating softly on her neck.

“That you, Midge?”

Molly was fourteen, three and a half years older than I was, but it didn’t matter much. Especially standing there in her green party dress, made up like she was grown, not just a girl.

“Sure is.”

She bounced right up to the porch, grinning like the cat from Wonderland.

“Midge...”

“Uh-uh.”

“I just got the best news in the world.” Her lips were painted with bright red; they were two roses, growing on her face. “And I’m so excited I feel like kissing somebody.”

And she did. Molly Windham leaned over and stuck her two roses right on my forehead, and puckered like a fish.

I thought the stars had fallen from heaven, and were dancing around me.

While the stars danced, Molly twirled off the porch, and straight over to the dress-maker’s shop. She jangled the bell beside his door a few times, spinning and jangling, jangling and spinning, until Sam Miller finally came out and yelled something I couldn’t make out before pulling her inside. The echo from the bell drifted toward me and Big Bull.

“Did you see that!?”

The Indian didn’t answer, but I knew he was listening, and that he hadn’t missed any of it.

“Pa... Pa... Guess what!”

* * *

“You done with that porch yet?” Pa had come out to the screen door, tapping his pencil hard against that list of his. “There’s plenty more sweeping to be done inside.”

“Pa...”

He slipped his pencil into the front pocket of his work apron, and pulled his watch and chain from out of his pocket. As he flipped it open, he nodded, “Now, don’t ‘Pa’ me. You know it takes a lot of work to keep this place going. That means all of us.”

“But Lucy doesn’t have to.”

“Your sister’s busy enough taking care of your mother. She don’t have the time.”

“But...”

Pa was starting to get mad. His eyes narrowed like an Oriental man, and his ears began to turn a little red under where his hair was cut. “No excuses. First the back room, where the feed is. After that, we’ll see about letting you play some more with that Indian.”

He held the screen door open until I got the broom and drudged inside, dragging it with me. His eyes didn’t leave me until the door to the back room slammed shut behind me. I know. I peeked back out as he turned.

* * *

My wooden friend waited patiently while I swept out the back room. He hadn’t changed a single expression while I’d been gone. Just like always. He was there waiting.

“How much do you think flowers cost, Big Bull?”

I kept watching for Molly to leave Sam Miller’s shop. After a while nobody went in or came out anymore, but there was still no sign of Molly.

“Special flowers, I mean. Something better than I could pick out of somebody’s yard.”

Directly, Sam left the shop too, and locked the door behind him. He left two empty buckets outside the shop’s door like he always did, just in case anybody needed to borrow one late in the day. His brown suit pulled tight over his round frame making him look like a sausage with a lump in the middle.

“What kind of flowers do girls like now, anyway? They’re always so hard to please. That’s what Pa says. He ought to know... he’s known my mother a long time and all.”

Sam had to walk down by the store to get to his house, and as he waddled by, I waved to him and said hello.

“Well, if it ain’t little Midge. Say, you got you a girl for the dance next month? Surely your Pa and...” He made a face like he’d swallowed a horse. “Surely he’s gonna let you and your sister get out to it.”

“We ain’t so good at dancing, Mr. Miller.”

“I ain’t so good myself...” he said, and he was right. Round men who bounce when they walk looked twice as silly dancing. Even though he waltzed like a bag of potatoes, he always went. The girls said he made the best dancing gowns in the state. “But I wouldn’t miss seeing all the pretty girls in their new dresses I’ve made for them. Just today Molly Windham ordered one of the most difficult gowns I’ve ever had to put together. Old Man Windham said not to worry about how much it costs. It’s a dress-maker’s dream, Midge.”

“What color is it, Mr. Miller?”

“Color? It ain’t just any color, Midge. I’ve gotta order the cloth clean out of St. Louis.”

“They got different colors in St. Louis than here in Chattville?”

“No. Now don’t fool with an old man’s funny bone. It’s red, except it’s the same color red as Molly’s hair, lighter in spots, and shiny when the sun hits it right.” Sam pulled on a gold chain that disappeared into the fold-over of flesh and suit where his pocket should have been. Out flopped a gold pocketwatch. He opened it. “Mrs. Miller will be wondering were I am soon. Hope you get to go.”

I waved goodbye, and then when he was gone. “Roses. Red roses. The reddest we can find.”

I knew Big Bull approved.

* * *

Pa said no when I asked him about the flowers. I told him I’d work harder, and even stay away from the gumballs, but he still said no. That he was spending too much on the store already, and with my mother’s fever still not breaking, even though it had been two weeks.

* * *

The wind was picking up, turning a calm kiss-like breeze into a cold slap. Some papers announcing the dance floated across town in short hops, then flew on, bullet-like, when the stronger drafts got a hold of them.

The porch was warm underneath my weight, but when I touched it in a new place the wood was cold. The moisture on my hands would chill and then thaw in a fluid motion. I looked back at Big Bull.

“Sure was nice of old Joe to let me work for the flowers.”

I held the two flowers, roses, red as Molly’s fiery hair and the lips that had kissed me. They had cost me every cent I had plus a promise to work down at Old Joe’s flower shop once a week when I wasn’t helping Pa at the store. It was a high price, but worth it to see the look I knew would be on Molly’s face when I asked her to the dance.

It had seemed like hours until dusk came. Now that it was here, I could hardly wait. But the timing had to be perfect. I had to show up right after the dishes were put away. If I arrived early, the surprise would get lost in the clean-up shuffle; if I was too late, the effect would be interrupted by the family time around the radio listening to Amos and Andy.

“Wish me luck,” I said, and dashed from the porch.

Roses firmly in hand, I hurried down to the house at the edge of Chattville where Molly and her father lived (Her mother had died of tuberculosis when Molly was a baby). I could think only of my dream, my vision, waiting for me there in her red party dress, the fringes dancing in the evening breeze. My heart seemed not only to beat, but to pound with a steady, driving, big jazz rhythm like Benny Goodman or Louis Armstrong was directing its music. Time hardly passed at all, it seemed before I was there, suddenly staring at the heavy oak door.

Mr. Windham answered the door quickly after my small closed hand gathered the resolve to knock. His herringbone suit hung comfortably loose off of his tall thin frame. When he recognized me, his small mustache twitched and his eyes focused down onto mine.

“Why Midge, what a pleasant surprise. What can I do for you?”

“Is Molly in, sir? I’d sure like to see her. I’ve got something for her.”

“Sure she is. Right in the den with...”

Kyle Lovett. Mr. Windham didn’t have to say it. I knew it the minute I walked in. He was sitting on the couch with Molly, holding her hand. How could she!? Didn’t she know what he was like? Kyle Lovett.

The roses were trampled underfoot as I choked on the anger rising in my throat, and ran away to Pa, dragging a cracked and tender heart behind me.

* * *

“Pa! Pa!” I pounded at the door with my small fists, knowing he would be locked away in the back office, listening to the clickety-clacks of the adding machine.

The sky had blackened while I had left Molly’s, and had given its first few drops to warn me that a big storm was coming. Rumbles sounded in the distance, but grew a little louder each time. If I’d had sense enough, I’d have let the winds blow me straight up the street to my house, safe from the weather.

“Pa! Please let me in. There’s a storm coming, Pa. Pa!”

As if it had waited for my announcement, the thunder and rain let loose on the earth like God was trying to punish us the way the Pastor down at the Missionary Church had said. The rain began to pelt down, soaking the dirt of the road, and beating it into a shallow layer of mud almost instantly. The papers that had been blown all over town were drenched and wrenched apart by the combined power of the wind and water.

Across the street was the wall of clay we all climbed on in the summer. At least we tried to climb it. It went about sixteen feet straight up, smooth as a polished stone. The only way to make it to the top was to take two pocket knives, and edge your way up, one jab at a time. Only the oldest and strongest boys ever made it all the way. The rest of us could hardly even stick the knives in the wall, since the clay was so hard and set.

Only, the storm washed it down to sixteen feet of mush pretty quickly. Anyone who tried to climb it now would probably drown in the river of wet clay eroding down the face of the wall.

The wind lifted Sam Miller’s two buckets, and sent one through the candy store window, and the other into the outside wall, where it dented and fell, waiting for another flight.

Although the porch kept me safe from most of the wind, it offered me no protection from the worst of the storm. The rain invaded in solid bullets of water, spreading out and joining together to make lakes and reservoirs that ran down between the cracks, only to be replaced by the new puddles that continued to build.

“Pa!” I yelled, but the thunder swallowed my cries. Big Bull stood firm. Since he was so heavy, the wind couldn’t shake him, not even a quiver. The rain soaked into the wood, but that only made him heavier, more secure. It also darkened the colors, and brought him closer to life.

Through the curtain of water, I saw every cut, every strain of artistry on Big Bull’s frame. In each carefully carved inch of his face, pain rested. His eyes were deep- set and sunken a little in sorrow, but somehow friendly in their darkness. The mouth was closed in an eternal silence, and the wrinkled carvings surrounding the flattened frown revealed a subdued bitterness that flamed, no doubt, beneath the painted exterior. Though he held only a single spear, his muscles were tensed and rigid, ready to answer the call to fight, eager. Big Bull captured well not only the hurt and anger of his people, but their strength as well.

So I hid from the storm.

The Indian’s figure kept me dry for the most part. Patches of rain managed every now and then to sneak around his legs and hit me, but I was separated from the worst part of the weather.

In time, the fury of the storm faded away. Its terrible threats and banshee screams died into quiet darkness. The sun had abandoned its post during the attack, leaving Chattville lighted only by the incandescent glow of random windows. Sleep, like a desire for death, found me, and I curled around Big Bull’s wooden feet.

* * *

“Midge... Midge... Get up. You’ll catch a death of cold out here.”

The blackness lifted from behind my mind and eyes, and I saw Pa trying to help me up.

“Pa...”

“Yeah, it’s me. What were you doing out here in the middle of that storm anyway? I thought you were home with your mother and sister.”

I didn’t answer. Instead, I reached for the handle of Big Bull’s spear, and used it to pull my worn-out body to a sluggish stance. Pa immediately reached out to keep me from falling again to the porch, but the spear supported me well enough.

“Let’s get you inside. I’ve got some hot cider going if you want some. It’ll sure help warm up your inards.”

I felt Pa’s overcoat as it was put around me to keep me from shivering. I expected it to engulf me, but it barely spread across my shoulders. He was a much smaller man than I had imagined.

© Sean Taylor