#it's bipolar disorder btw i just didn't get too much into it

[beanghostprincess]

Sabo still struggles with memory loss. He had his childhood back, of course, he remembers Ace and Luffy and everything they did together. But he doesn't remember some stuff. Some anecdotes Luffy tells oh so excitedly? He can't recall that those happened. And if he does, it's all blurry and never at all like Luffy says. But he never says anything because that would break his brother's heart, to know his older brother isn't fully back with him, so he nods and smiles and pretends he knows what Luffy is talking about every time.

His room is filled with Post-it notes. Stupid, really. Dumb stuff. But he has all the meetings he needs to remember and the missions he has to do, along with everything he wants to write down at some point properly. The walls are covered in pictures of the people he loves (Luffy, Ace, Koala, Robin... All the others that have ever meant something to him because he refuses to forget somebody again).

He keeps writing dumb stuff down. Anything. He refuses to forget. He denies the possibility of doing it again.

But he forgets. Sabo keeps forgetting important dates. Important parts of his life, like his past with his brothers (he forgets a random adventure they had that he swore he had talked about the day prior) and crucial things he has to do. He has a hard time picturing his memories. Putting them in his brain. Turning them into images. Saying it's frustrating is a huge understatement.

Koala helps him out, of course. She's hard on him so he finishes his paperwork, but she knows it's difficult sometimes. She's his personal calendar and diary. She informs him of what he has to do during the week and always tries to talk and talk about anecdotes that she knows he still remembers but knows he loves to hear again.

His mental health isn't the best either, but he refuses to acknowledge it. There's a revolution at hand, he can't stop working. And fighting. And doing more and more and more. But sometimes it's just too much. Sometimes he goes into depressive episodes he can't control, and the medication is either addicting or the worst thing that has ever happened to him. Sometimes he's a bit too intense. Koala says he needs to calm down, that he has a problem with his fixation on the revolution and his past. Sabo keeps saying that it's fine. But he sometimes forgets or has blurry images of the fights and the people he has killed, filled with energy and excitement and like he has the power of a God. He doesn't like those. Enjoys the moment. Hates to forget it. Hates to know what he did during it too, even if it was for a good cause. Despises the look Koala gives him, also. Makes her promise not to tell Luffy about all of this.

But it's fine, he keeps saying. Sabo will keep trying to never forget anything ever again.

[flodaya]

Hey, could you explain what happened in Lola’s season that made everybody so mas? I honestly stop watching in the middle of Imane’s season when I realized it was terrible and it was not gonna be fixed. Also, what are the criticism people give Crisana and Kietou? They are both amazingly written and performed season, like there is not much to complain about.

look, i do have issues with all three seasons, it's just the insistence of some people to nit-pick these seasons apart but turn a blind eye to the same issues in the same remakes non-wlw seasons that's bothering me

for lola's season it's mostly how absolutely overloaded with themes and topic and issues it was

it wasn't enough to make her deal with grieving a parent (which btw would have been an absolutely amazing topic for a season and the first episode set it up really well) but they added drug addiction, mental illness, the whole biological father mess, kind of a love triangle, they also wanted to talk about eliott's bipolar disorder and daphne's eating disorder, the eliott/lucas fights, they introduced us to a whole new set of characters, then we had the suicide plotline, and somewhere all in between she fell in love with maya

i mean at least coming out wasn't also made into a issue so that's something at least

otherwise, lola herself is a well-written character, her and maya had more or less solid development, the lola/daphne relationship was really well written and the new characters were fun

cris' season is objectively the best out of the three imo

i think my personal only 2 criticisms is the ending because i feel like the last break up and eventual reconciliation happened so far at the end of the season we didn't get enough pay of afterwards, so i kind of wish we would have had more one on one time between cris and joana

and the other thing is that, i believe there can be made an argument for crisana being at least slightly desexualized, like i do think it's weird to have a m/f sex scene but no wlw sex scene in a season about a wlw couple; but i also want to say they are all teenagers and i think sex scenes are never necessary in shows about teenagers, especially when the actors are still very young too

the thing most people criticize about eskam is that it's "panphobic" which it's not but i'm not going to get into the whole argument (again) and that the cris' actress is problematic, which yeah fine she's made a very ignorant stupid selfie which i get it if that makes you not want to watch her season, but that happened wayyy after her season aired so really it's so excuse for og skam fans but whatever lol

for fatou's season, my baby, the one i will defend with my dying breath

honestly, ppl wanted to dislike this one from the beginning, i remember people who already complained about the first kiss, and in my biased opinion the first 6 episodes really didn't have anything to be upset about

there were a few pacing issues in later episodes, and the last clip of episode 8 is stupid but overall her season is well written and executed and gets disproportionate criticism for like the 2 plotholes in episode 7 and 8

like this season did so much outstandingly well but people want to throw all that away because it wasn't 100% flawless, give me a break

so tl;dr i'm overprotective of these three seasons and i will fight anyone who willfully wants to make any wlw who loves one or more of these seasons feel bad for it

[csmean]

ik this is a mean blog but i don't think mod is a mean person so i want to express that it's uncomfortable to see open bashing of self diagnosed systems- as much as it's way too common for people to self diagnose w/ did/osdd, it's also pretty harmful to accuse people you don't know of faking. like you said, DID/OSDD is very hard to diagnose, which makes it hard to get a diagnosis in the first place. self dx is some people's only option. what aphie's doing is weird and trashy i agree, btw.

The whole point of it being hard to diagnose is because it has to be diagnosed by a professional who is specially trained to recognize and diagnose that disorder. If you don't have the diagnosis, you shouldn't claim that you have it.

I think researching and coming to a self-diagnosis is good and helpful when looking for an answer to symptoms that you have, but it doesn't take the mantle of an actual professional diagnosis. But it can also be a harmful thing, in the same vein. Finding things that you THINK you have, or things that you want to have (like kids and DID), you can convince yourself that you have something you don't, either because you see similarities in symptoms, or it's something fun and quirky, like most teens think DID is, because fun alters!!

I was convinced for years that I had bipolar disorder and OCD because the symptoms were there, and I inadvertently started fostering the symptoms I didn't have, so that I could feel more confident in the diagnosis and feel like it was really what was wrong with me. I believed it wholeheartedly. And then I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I had it wrong. I was also diagnosed with severe post-traumatic stress disorder, which helped to account for other symptoms I thought were a part of the bipolar issue.

The heart of the matter is that I was wrong. Yes I had symptoms that aligned with both bipolar and OCD, but I didn't have either of those. I was wrong. That's why medical professionals are here to give us the diagnosis, not ourselves.

I didn't get diagnosed for years because I couldn't afford it. I get it, I do. It sucks when you live in places like America and don't have access to health care. But these aren't excuses to claim to have an incredibly complex disorder that only trained specialists are capable of diagnosing. If you think you have it, cool. But you cannot make a claim to have that shit until it's given to you on paper.

The fact that places like Tiktok and Instagram and now even Toyhouse are riddled with teens and even young adults who are all now suddenly part of a system is incredibly sus and I do not believe a single one of them. Not for a second. Also DID doesn't even exist in teens and only manifests once the person is an adult (because the system takes years to form), and it has to be formed from trauma. This rules out teenagers immediately, and it rules out every idiot on Toyhouse who lives a cushy life with mom and dad and the only traumatic thing to happen to them was getting the internet shut off at midnight.

Sorry for the long rant, this is just something that I am rather passionate about and it drives me up the fucking wall to see this massive influx of kids who are desperate to be popular or stay relevant and they've seen the popularity of DID on Tiktok so they turn to that. And if anyone says anything about it? Singlets fakeclaiming. It's the perfect comeback. They're untouchable. They're god now.

I don't buy it. And I really don't care if you think I'm in the wrong for it.

Also don't get me started on all the kids who claim to have Tourette's and do the most cringey fake tics.

[marshmallowprotection]

Mania, or Annaliese as she prefers to be called (or just Anna, just anything BUT the literal synonym of insanity, (Kaya your naming conventions are strange indeed) (cough* she was named Mania before the Thedian language even existed (btw Thedian is basically just English cus I'm too lazy to make a language and just no) soo oof Kaya didn't know the world mania would end up as a synonym of insanity) *cough), in ECF, is the goddess of hate, but that is a purely figurative title that she was given by some humans she's long forgotten that is too far spread and widely known for her to make people stop calling her such. 

She 5'0 tall and has short black hair and brown eyes as seen in the picrew above.

I'll be calling her Anna for the rest of this post by the way, since even if she's a fictional character I want to abide by her wishes.

A fun fact, I was contemplating giving Anna dissociative identity disorder originally as another one of the goddesses, Harmonia, has Bipolar Disorder (which is easier to write because it does not entail multiple personalities) and I wanted to try giving another goddess a mental illness besides depression (which most of them have), but realized I honestly didn't know enough about it nor understand it that well, and nor could I fit it into her character so scrapped it. And so I didn't want to give her it because I just didn't know how to write it or really describe it. It just didn't make sense for her either.

Also, if you couldn't tell most of my characters have something that's semi-dark about them, that's because I find most characters with darker pasts that influenced them greatly make more interesting characters for some reason, at least in my experience. Not every character has to be dark in some way for them to be good characters (I point to Jaehee who is the least dark of all the Mysme characters I think or maybe I'm wrong because I kind of forget about her a lot...sorry Baehee!) but...meh.

Anyway, Anna has a serious hatred for her body due to it being...well, more childlike in nature. Flat chest, short, not very curvy body in general...just a lot of insecurities and body hatred in general. Anna is also very childlike in personality (despite being billions of years old) but tries to force herself to act more like the adult she's meant to be. She's the shortest of all of her fellow goddess "sisters" despite Xomura being her "younger sister" and she despises that. She lashes out at everyone a lot but tries to be calm and collected most of the time but sometimes she just can't keep her anger from getting out of control. In a sense, she feels like an adult in a child's body whilst suffering from frequent regression to a childlike mindset. 

Anna in a modern AU is basically the same except she is instead overall a NEET who relies on Kaya's huge fortune to like, you know, live. She has no idea what to do with her life in that AU and both her original version and modern au she honestly feels suicidal when she's at her worst. 

Anna tries to act like she is super formal, calm, and collected, but she's not. She has a habit of rambling, she gets mad at people for very little things, she honestly just is something of a child in a lot of ways.

Which is partly Kaya's fault.

You see, Anna was always babied by all of her "sisters", even Xomura, who is YOUNGER than her and technically should be babied more since she is THE YOUNGEST. But due to all of her sisters growing far quicker and taller than her and overall she just always looked like a child, in general, she was babied a lot more and spoiled even. 

She despises Kaya for the fact she never really taught her how to be an adult.

And Kaya honestly never wanted her to grow up.

Anna just never matured.

Anna actually has a love for writing, as it lets her just let out all her thoughts without having to say anything allowed in her childish voice (which she also hates but talking is kind of unavoidable) and she also likes to write stories where she can pretend she has a far more adult-like body. Uh...her perception of an "adult woman body" is kind of uh...skewed.

She dreams of having the definition of a "perfect" body. Like, looking like those women with big boobs and lots of curves that you see in magazines or something.

It's a very fantastical and unattainable dream.

Anna also has a very strange love for macarons. Especially strawberry ones. She just really likes them honestly. 

I'm not sure who Anna would get along with of the Mysme cast to be honest. Zen, maybe??? Yoosung??????? Hmmmmmmm- I really just don't know. 

I think Yoosung might be best. Zen might a little on the nose when it comes to self image issues and while he empathizes with MCs with the same struggle; It is harder for him to help if that MC fixates so much that it's hard for even him to help them. I said Yoosung simply because that idea of him cheering on an MC who has their own passion makes me smile. I think she needs someone who is her own age and treats her with respect instead of treating her like a baby. Our boy Yoosung knows what that feels like, that's for sure.