#it's due to having been under Mori's strong influence

[sskk-manifesto]

Oh???

[tochugesya]

my theories on kunikida’s childhood/backstory *·˚ ༘♡

kunikida is my favorite character (world shock) so i wanted to share my thoughts of it are taken from aspects i have annotated about him/he has said. these are theories!!! nothing confirmed. pd: i have taken some info from doppo kunikida’s irl life, asagiri has taken a lot of details of his life so i doubt he won’t now. please enjoy! :) i also apologize for any misspellings, english is not my first language.

1) kunikida & his family:

kunikida is one of the few characters that have confirmed families (as said in the mini novel kunikida & katai’s magnificent days), so the possibility of being an orphan is eliminated. it’s not mentioned if he has parents or not but he has a family. here are my options/theories abt his family

his dad/his mom (or both) work for the military/government. usually the “stick” personality is associated with having a military family, kunikida’s character trope (istj, moralist) fits in the “military family” stereotype and considering bsd has a lot of topics around the military (like the current arc), it’s a high possibility. this also explains kunikida’s hate of authorities (we will get into this later), and even if they’re not from the military they’re probably people with high prestige/on the traditional side (ex: the zenin’s in jjk).

on the opposite side, kunikida’s family are anti govt (anarchism). again this is mostly related to his authority hate. this also can be linked to the azure king (if you want me to elaborate please let me know!)

these are my main ideas. important to note that irl’s stepdad worked for the ministry of justice and was an ex samurai (which could connect him to one of the fukus). other small things i have noted:

kunikida cares a lot about reputation. maybe this need for the ada’s reputation to stay intact is a reflection of his family.

kunikida used to pass a lot of time with katai (more than with his own family) so they are probably busy people/weren't really present in his life

kunikida has a “motherly” behavior yet he has a strong personality that is usually linked with a strong patriarchal figure. i personally link this to the fact that kunikida’s household could have been more matriarchal. with this, kunikida could have conflicts with his mother possibly related to his idealism.

kunikida is the youngest child. don’t debate me on this.

kunikida’s family dedicates to save people’s lifes/bring justice to them. so he followed their footsteps in his own way.

2. kunikida’s young years

2.1) his possible relation to the great war:

(spoilers for bungo stray dogs manga chapters 65 and 66)

when you think about kunikida's potential childhood, most people assume he had the most "normal" childhood out of all of the ada members. however, kunikida could have (sadly) been involved similarly to how yosano was or in other ways. this section will be divided in two sections: kunikida doppo's irl relation to the sino japanese war (with a connection to irl mori) and kunikida and the usefulness of his ability in the war context.

kunikida doppo and the sino japanese war: for a little bit of context, the first sino japanese war (1894-1895) was a conflict between the japanese empire and china because both countries were looking for being the dominant influence in korea. in this time, multiple authors that were bsdfied participated as war correspondants with the exception of (surprise surprise) ogai mori, who enlisted in the japanese army as an army doctor.

kunikida doppo worked as a war correspondant along with his friend katai tayama in the sino-japanese war. there is no information about where kunikida worked in, but katai worked in taiwan in the same division as mori; this war correspondency was vital for kunikida's career, he got extremely popular due to his war journalism). both kunikida's (doppo and his brother shuuji) were disciples of soho tokutomi, a japanese historian and journalist; it was under him where he became a war correspondant, learnt german (similar to mori) and worked in the newspaper "Kokumin no Tomo" founded by soho, and where mori published "the dancing girl".

kunikida had a involvement in the russo-japanese war, but it's insignificant compared to his work in the sino japanese war. i put this in the post because, as mentioned, asagiri puts details from the irl's life in the story; this is not the reason why i believe he was in the great war, but it makes a little bit more possible.

as i keep rereading this arc, i noticed something yosano said that caught my attention:

doesn't this sound a little similar to mr. idealist "no one will die in front of me"? because it does to me. even if they don't mean the exact same thing, the general idea is the following: keeping people alive.

yosano truly values human life

kunikida's ability and his usefulness in the war:

here's why i believe kunikida may have been involved in the great war; his ability. kunikida's ability "doppo poet" consists of being able to create anything that comes from the notebook. kunikida's ability, even if doesn't look like a threat at first glance, it's a tricky one; if he wanted, he could use a bigger notebook he could summon bigger weapons (such a b0mbs, bigger guns) but he stays with a smaller notebook (which yes it's practical, but why would he use grenades when he could summon better weapons?)

kunikida, with a never ending pile of paper, could summon multiple useful weapons almost at the same time; for the great war, having someone that could create weapons in an instant is convenient. it's also important to remember that ability users' were searched at that time (+ mori's plan, that is explained in chapter 65 or 66).

but besides his ability, and with the past section focused on yosano's trauma and response due to going to the great war, it's not difficult to assume he could have been in a similar situation. kunikida's constant creation of weapons that killed people, that he didn't not want to do because he was a child, in front of him, with no way to stop it because he was forced to create those weapons and because he was a child... he couldn't save them all, kunikida's own experience as a child soldier/weapon during the great war, in this context, is why he's so attached to them, because he sees his little self in them, and in general, it may be possibly the main reason of ideals' being born, so “no one will die in front of me” is kunikida’s reaction to the cruelness of war, just like yosano’s (panel attached below) plus, kunikida's reaction to death is very emotional and raw, which is something that is not seen a lot in bsd (and it's one of his most important characteristics), and has been a theme around for a looong time now.

i wish i'm wrong in this one (please)

2.2) kunikida the rebel

as the name says (lol) kunikida could have been a rebel in high school as well. kunikida does not care about breaking laws (except the ones where he acts like a normal citizen). this could be the aftermath of years of trauma; it's not linked to why he is the way he is but is... more of a way to show he's not that much of a "stick"

ps: between all this mess, he met katai. i don't have a theory abt their meeting but i know those two find each other in the moment they needed it the most. :) following the war timeline, i think katai's family were also involved and they met when it finished and... trauma bonded (to put in blantly).

3. kunikida and the past (why does he not want to talk abt it?)

i want to dive into the most interesting part of kunikida's conversation abt his backstory. he does not want to talk about it.

there are multiple reasons this could be such as shame and trauma; i don't have an elaborate reason why (there could be MULTIPLE) but here are the ones i feel that are the most likely:

as i said before, kunikida could have been from a family of politicians and military members. as he's an idealist, and the topic of politicians and corruption could fit perfectly, he would want to disassociate himself from them.

> this doesn't have to be only abt having govt affiliated family btw. but just the idea that he doesn't want to associate himself with his family because they don't have the same ideals.

he got disowned. not much to mention here

trauma. again not a lot to say here.

rocky relationship with his family. or maybe they are just shitty people and doesn't want to be with them anymore.

othe stuff i have thought about is that kunikida is a liar. not exactly something possible considering ranpo should know by now but it’s still… there. it’s possible.

that's it! i hope you enjoyed. sorry if it's too long i love kunikida. :)♡ let me know what you think as well!

[shelling4869ford]

Patchwork

Hello my dear @deducingcircumference  I was your @dcmksecretsanta​ this year! I decided to go for your idea about the Mori family, I really hope you’ll like it! I had fun writing it, even though it was a lot harder than I thought. I’m sorry that I wasn´t able give it to my beta before, I’ll repost it once it’s corrected. Still, I hope you’ll like it! Have am merry, healthy and nice Christmas and a happy new year!

~ Shelling

Patchwork

 He should have known better.

These past day’s the doorbell had only caused him trouble and pain.

Why had he even believed that it would be different this time?

Megure however, couldn’t care less for Kogoro’s grumpy face.  

“His parents are still dealing with the FBI and the Professor has his own little problem right now. He can´t stay in the police department any longer, it would only raise further suspicions.” Megure swallowed, that was something he really didn´t want to deal with, on top of everything right now. However, he wasn´t sure if this really had been the best idea.

His former college looked at him like he’d gone crazy.

“So, you dump him here of all places?” Mori growled, didn´t care about his tone, while he spoke with his former boss. Megure sighed, looking behind his shoulder where the “boy” had only filched beneath Kogoro’s  voice. The officer rolled his eyes, he’d been through this question before, even though it had been the asked in a much higher voice.

The officer took a deep breath and shook his head.

“He’s in no condition to help right now, and neither are you.”

“I have to go back to the hospital! I need to-“  

“You have to wait until visiting hours tomorrow.” Megure interrupted Kogoro’s argument.

He sighed, placing a hand on the man’s shoulder.

“I know you’re worried Mori-kun, but there’s nothing you can do for her right now, but you can take care of one another.” Megure swallowed, finally taking a step aside to reveal the grad schooler who’d been hiding behind his legs.

Kogoro took a sharp breath and despite his anger he could feel something inside him stirring at the sight of the “boy”.  However, the detective desperately tried to ignore it, it couldn´t be more than the rising bile in his throat, looking at the lying freeloader.

Conan- or rather Shinichi Kudo didn´t dare to look up. At least the kid seemed to have a little bit of a conscience left. Kogoro knew what happed and why, after his kids – kid- his lovely Ran had gone missing, the truth had slowly come to light. And now Co- Kudo was standing here, asking him to take him in for the night, while his little baby girl was still in the hospital. Alright, she wasn´t frighting for her life- at least not when he believed in the doctor’s words, but she still wasn´t waking up, since a heavy blow to the head, while  tried to help…him. 

The one who had lied to them for over a year, who used them and ignored her tears, being here and safe and fine, while she was still in medical care.

Well fine might have been a little exaggerate.

Actually, he looked more like death warmed over, after he destroyed a whole criminal organization. Even through the brat didn´t dare to look him in the eyes he could see that they where bloodshot, with dark circles beneath them, seeming even deeper due his pale complexion. His hand’s where bandaged, his glasses where broken and a little voice inside Kogoro wondered why no one had told him to put them down. Damn! Couldn´t they see that it was dangerous, the boy could easily lose an eye when the glass- ah but why should he care, he didn´t that’s for sure.

Mori bit his lips and shook his head while his gaze traveled down the boy’s legs, one being places in a walking cast to stabilize it, but even if he tried to hide it, Kogoro could still see that the kid was in pain, clearly favoring his left leg.

“Alright…” Megure’s tone ripped him from his analysis.

“I’ll leave the two of you alone now…” The officer tired to catch the boy’s eyes, but the shrunken detective who’d surprised them all didn´t dare to rise his galnce. So Megure briefly placed a hand on the kid’s shoulder. He was about to leave when he stopped close enough to Kogoro, to make one last request in a low voice.

“… and Mori-kun,… he’s already broken, so please try not to hurt him further.” Kogoro took a sharp breath, ready to protest when his eyes shifted back to the silent child in front of him.

‘Damn right he is.’ A voice inside him seemed to scream, while he watched Megure disappear at the end of the stairs. He couldn´t believe what the man was asking of him, after everything. He grumbled, but when his eyes reached the bruised body of the kid again, he couldn´t help but frown at the slight tremble in the little clenched fists.

Kogoro could feel the emotions inside him shift, putting pressure on his chest. He desperately wanted to believe that it was just anger he felt, but he knew that there was something else hiding in it’s mist. It couldn’t be guilt or worry- even through the boy had lived with them for so long, it wasn´t his job to protect him, he wasn´t his father aft all.

But yet-

“I’m sorry..” the soft voice froze him on the spot, but it where his next word’s or rather the name the boy used that finally brought him back to reality.

“I’m truly sorry Mori-san.”

Right.

Conan = Kudo

Not foster son, but little lying bastard.

He had to remember that.

The boy swallowed, finally finding the courage to look up, but Kogoro had already turned his back to him, climbing the stairs. Shinichi bit his lips, trying again, but Mori stopped him before he could finish his sentence.

“I-“

“Don´t, I don´t want to hear it.”

Mori hissed, taking the last steps to their- to his home and closed the door behind him.

XXX

The beer tasted foul.

It was his first that day- alright his third, but the first one since Megure had dumped the little freeloader at his doorstep. Being kicked out from the hospital, had left him with the urge to drink, to fill his mind with cotton so that the reality would drift far away. But he denied himself to be numbed by alcohol, he had to remain sharp if the hospital called, so he instead called his wife to update her. However, it seemed Eri had already known and of course this woman believed in the nurse words, that she would be alright, that there was no actual damage to her brain and that she simply was exhausted. Exhausted, his Ran, strong and brave, exhausted to the bone. He couldn't believe it, he wished he could, but the fear of losing her filled his mind with cruel pictures.

And it was all his fault.

"Damn brat..." he growled, taking another sip from his stale beer. Days ago he'd been worried when the boy had suddenly disappeared, he couldn't deny it... Since the not-child had been living with them for little over a year now. Of course, he wasn't found of him, he didn't care... why would he? Conan wasn't his son, nope, no way he dared to think of him as his own flesh and blood.

But he couldn´t help to admit that he’d been worried about the boy, before the constructure of lies slowly crumbled around him, he’d struggled to believe it in the beginning, the brat being that high school detective, hiding under their roof all those times.

“And I didn´t even notice, the great detective Mori… pff…”

Kogoro sighed, his eyes wandered from his beer to the clock, before they moved to the front door, which he might have left slightly ajar, by pure accident of course. It nearly been three hours since Megure had dropped Kudo here and he couldn´t help but wonder what the boy might be up to.  But why should he care anyway? It’s not like the great “Shinichi Kudo” wasn’t able to take care of himself, he could be lucky that he hadn´t thrown him out. However….

The sleeping detective chewed on his mustache, they way the kid had looked it would only be responsible to make sure he’s fine, besides so he could make sure that the boy wasn´t messing with his case files- Yes! That was it! He had to make sure that everything was still in place and the kid wasn´t messing up his work.  With that thought Kogoro nodded to himself, rising from his seat before he headed for the stairs.  

The office was dark, but the door was closed now and he was sure he left it open when he’d turned his back to Kudo. Could it be- that he’d left?

With a frown on his face the detective stepped into his agency, still no sigh of live, or of the boy, everything seemed to be like he left it. Kogoro was on his way to his desk, when he finally spotted the little boy on one of the two sofa’s he normally used to talk to his clients.

Conan – no Kudo was asleep, but it didn´t seemed to be a peaceful rest. Mori swallowed, he knew that sigh, the kid was having a nightmare. Not the first he was about to whiteness, but now that he knew that he wasn´t a mere child, shouting his, or most of the time Ran’s name at night he couldn´t help but wonder.

Kogoro barely knew Shinichi, especially since his separation with Eri they hadn´t met the Kudo’s quite so often, before they left Japan. What he knew was, that the boy had a bad influence on his daughter, not to mention that he’d hurt her, disappearing just like that, leaving her in the dark, lying to her while he was right beside her all this time. So maybe it was the kid’s own conscience hunting him at night. But the way the boy tossed and turned in his sleep told him that there was more to it.

The detective made a face when the child suddenly yelped in his sleep, twisting his bruised body around without much care. Kudo was facing him now, even though he was still asleep. Kogoro’s hand twitched, in the attempt to rip the broken glasses from his face, before it could hurt him any further.

With a sigh he took a step towards the boy, slowly shaking his shoulder, even if his voice wasn´t as soft as it normally was, when he tried to wake the brat from one of his nightmares.

“Oi! Co- Kudo-kun! Wake up!” But like so many times before the touch on his shoulder only seemed to stress the little one even more. Conan twisted and turned in his sleep, not caring for his obvious bruised body. Kogoro’s throat grew tight, it was hard not to pick the child up to carry him into his bed, while muttering some calming thoughts into his ears.

“It’s just a dream.” He told him instead, trying to reach for the boy again, but when Kogoro’s fingers touched him, the boy flinched away from his touch, jerking backwards so that his already bruised shoulder hit the back of the couch.  Mori gasped when new blood seemed to break through the bandages and his shirt, all caution forgotten he bent down to the kid, cradling his upper body in his arms, while Conan still struggled in his touch.

“Hey don´t, you’ll just hurt yourself further!” The detective hissed, before he pulled the boy closer to himself, brushing some grime from his forehead.

“It’s alright… easy, Conan-kun.” His voice was gentle now and finally his breath grew even and he stopped to struggled in his arms.

“Come on now, wake up, everything’s alright.”  Kogoro assured the child, who finally stirred one hand searching for the man’s sleeves. He blinked with eyes still heavy from sleep and the nightmare, before he murmured something that made Mori’s chest grew warm and tight at the same time. “O-Othosan…”

Kogoro took a sharp breath, it wasn´t the first time the brat called him that by accident, but while he usually tried to ignore his fluttering heart as well as the words, when he put the kid back to sleep he couldn´t help but feel like he’d been frozen to the spot, unsure what to do. The boy suddenly looked not only broken but also even more tiny and vulnerable in his hands. Luckily the shrunken detective came to his senses before Kogoro had to decide what to do.

Conan blinked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, but hissed when he moved his shoulder. Kogroro could actually see how he finally caught up with the situation, struggling out of his arms, with the hint of a red on his cheeks.

“Ojisan… huh- ah um Mori-kun.”

There back to normal.

Kogoro took a breath in relive, before he eyed the boy, who still looked up at him. The detective rose and eyebrow, taking a step away from the child both of them ignoring what just happed. He cleared his throat, looking down at the brat.

“What do you think you’re doing here?”  He grumbled, but the boy blushed again, blinking in surprise before he seemed to search the answer on the floor.

“Uh- sleeping?” Mori raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Well boya, but not in my office.” Conan flinched, but Kogoro already took a step towards the door.

“Come on, get up.” The grad schooler obeyed, but Shinichi wasn´t sure if he was supposed to leave or just supposed to follow. But his doubt should soon be answered by Kogoro’s annoyed voice.

“What you’re waiting for?” The older detective asked, opening the door before he nodded upstairs.

“I-uhm, I’m coming.” 

Conan hurried up the stairs as best as he could and he could sense that it took Mori some strength not to hurry or maybe even carry him. But when he finally entered the place he’d called home for so long he took a deep breath, only now getting aware that he’d in fact missed it. But Kogoro cleared his throat pointing to their small dining table.

“Here sit down, I’ll see If I can prepare you something to eat.”  

“But you don`t have to!” Shinichi assured, while Mori just rolled his eyes, disappearing in the kitchen, almost shouting from the other room to answer the ridiculous request of the boy.

“Apparently I do since your folks still dealing with this secret organization and Megure decided to dump you here.” The grad schooler winced but the detective was too busy in the kitchen to notice.

“Besides, when was the last time you’ve eaten something?” Kogoro questioned, when he entered the living room again. He looked at the bruised boy, who looked more dead than alive on his feet.  

“I- uh-“ But the growl of his stomach answered for him.

Conan – Shinichi – the brat, jeez he still had trouble with that, just blushed when his stomach growled in protest of the lie that he was about to tell him.

“I see.”

Conan finally sat down at the table, staring holes into it, it just didn´t feel right, Mori should be fuming in anger at him, not trying to take care of him. However, the boy didn´t notice that Kogoro had moved behind him, before he took the broken glasses form his face. Honestly if he had to see the shade of glass nearly piercing the boy’s eyes any longer he would go crazy.  

“I’ll take these for a while- since you apparently don´t need them.” Mori told him, but when he finally looked down at the kid without the simplest of all disguises, he couldn´t help but wonder what a fool he’d been. How could he not have notice how much the brat looked like the annoying high school detective.

Kudo seemed to notice the eyes on the sleeping detective on his skin and took a shivering breath.  

“Oji- I mean Mori-kun, I’m-“ But Kogoro cut in between his sentence with a sigh and the shake of his head, before he could continue.

“I know… that’s not what you planned to happen.” The detective muttered, while he moved into the kitchen where a very familiar chirm told him, that the brat’s food was ready. He returned with the food and put it on the table with a little bit more force than necessary.  

“Yet I can´t believe that you thought that Ran, that we would be safe with you living under our very roof.” He growled, while Shinichi just seemed to be sinking deeper into his seat.

“Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing kid, I know why you did it and…” He remembered the nightmare, as well as the others before, Conan seemed to read his thoughts since he moved his gaze away from him.

“I know it might have not been easy at times, but I’m still angry at you, and my poor Ran-“

The name alone however, was enough to move Conan’s eyes back to the older detective.

“Any news? About Ran I mean.” The detective swallowed at the despair in the kid’s voice.

“She’ll been fine, she’s just exhausted and needs some rest.”

“What? R-Really?” Conan’s voice was high pitched, he looked at the detective in disbelieve.  Kogoro suppressed a chuckle, and the urge to ruffle the kid’s hair who suddenly looked like the child he was supposed to be, with big shining eyes.

“ Yeah and now don´t worry and eat.”

Conan took a breath in relive before he turned his attention to the “meal” Kogoro had prepared for him- or rather microwaved. A cup of ramen, something he hoped to be rice and he wasn´t sure if the last of the three dishes was a hot chocolate or some kind of sauce.

Apparently Kogoro noticed the kid’s stare, raising an eyebrow at the obvious hesitation.

“What?” Conan flinched, but after a short hesitation Shinichi decided to answer.

“Ah- nothing, nothing… I just- sometimes wonder how you and Kisaki-san survived before Ran took up to cooking.” Shinichi teases with the hint of a smirk on his face.

“Wh- you ungrateful little brat!” Kogoro grumbled.

“Besides, you can be thankful that it was me who put in the Microwave instead of Eri.” The detective added in a lecturing tone.  

“True, otherwise you’d serve me coal.” The older detective smirked, before he remembered that he was supposed to be angry with the brat, so he turned the kid’s head back to the food.

“Pff… now eat- we’re going to the hospital early tomorrow and I need to check that shoulder of yours.”

“It’s fine.” Conan muttered between a spoon full of ramen, but Mori just snorted.

“After everything that happened to you, I Wonder If you even understand the meaning of this word.”

“Oi!” But after a brief glare Shinichi did like he was told, while Kogoro searched his medical cabinet for some new bandages and pain medicine for the size of the boy.

 XXX

 Kogoro took a long shaky breath, he leaned against the cold metal back of the elevator, as he watched how the floor numbers slowly counted higher.  He’d already called early this morning, nothing new, Ran was still sleeping but they expected her to wake any moment now… was that what he was supposed to hear for the rest of his life? Mori felt panic rising in his throat, sure the Doctors told him that she would be find, but he couldn´t help but worry.

The detective bit his lips, his fingers were itching for a cigarette and one glance at the little boy (who still looked kind of creepy without the familiar glasses) told him that Co- Kudo was nervous as well. Even through, he tried to hide it, Kogoro could tell from the tension in his body and his stern gaze to the floor that the kid was freaking out inside. To be honest, even without the bangs beneath his eyes the boy looked pale since they arrived her, with his bandaged hands and the cast he looked more like he should have his own bed in this establishment. After he changed the bandages on his shoulder yesterday, Kogoro had felt sick to the bone when he saw how many scratches and bruises littered the child’s tiny frame.  

 The elevator chirmed suddenly, ripping Mori from his thoughts, when they finally reached the right floor. However, when the door finally opened the detective was met by a familiar face.

“Mori-kun!” A young nurse offered him a welcoming smile.

“Miruna-san, good morning.” Kogoro tried for a smile as well, even though it was a little embarrassed, after his behavior yesterday. But she seemed to ignore the fact that he’d cried, shouted and wept some more in her presence, while she’d reassured him over and over that his daughter was going to be fine. Instead, she focused her attention on the little boy beside him.

“Nice to meet you again! And this must be your son you’d been so worried about yesterday?” She leaned down to the child, offering her hand and a charming smile.

“You must be Conan-kun, right? You shoudln´t disappear like that, your dad was rather worried about you.”

“Uh- he was?”  He looked up to the old man, who deliberately turned his attention away from him, but the redness on his cheeks revealed her words to be true. Shinichi blinked in surprise, still staring up at Kogoro, who cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Well- we should go now.”

“Oh sure, sure! You must be worried about your Neechan, right?” She ruffled his hair and Mori could see how the boy fell back to his old act, smiling brightly at her while Kogoro wondered how the arrogant brat he’d known, had learned to endure such a treatment. But the young nurse didn´t notice the frown on the detective’s face, when she turned back to him.

“She should wake every minute now, her heartrate is higher now, maybe you’ll be able to wake her.” Kogoro nodded.

“Thank you.” She smiled and took their place in the elevator.

“yYu’ll see everything will be alright!”

Mori took a deep breath moving forward to find Ran’s room before Conan’s voice stopped his movements.

“So, you’ve been searching for me?” The boy’s face showed a grin, but his eyes revealed his doubt.

“Don´t get the wrong idea, brat.” Kogoro huffed, rolling his eyes before moving forward.

“Come on, let’s go.”

Shinichi followed Kogoro through the hospital hallways, struggling to keeping up with him, with his short legs and the damn cast.

When Kogoro finally entered his girl’s room he took a relieved breath to see that Ran was indeed fine, even though still asleep. He moved to stand beside her, taking her hand in his own feeling her warm skin beneath his. It took him a few minutes to notice that the boy seemed to be frozen in the doorway, staring at Ran’s sleeping face and the beeping heart monitor beside her.

The detective swallowed, horror was written in the boy’s face and he remembered his first visit to the hospital after he’d shot Eri. He took a deep breath, moving over to the boy, who only noticed him, when he put a hand on the slim shoulder.

“Oi, what’s wrong.”

“I- I-“ The boy stuttered, his body tense beneath his grip.

“Come…” Kogoro assured him, pushing him slowly into the room.

“It’s going to be fine.”

Conan followed him beside the bad, but still keeping his distance, while the worried father slowly brushed a strand of hair from her forehead.

“Ran…”

Both of their hearts skipped when they saw how Ran twitched beneath Kogoro’s fingers, before her eyes slowly fluttered open.

“Oh- Othosan?” Her voice was weak, as she slowly tried to push herself a little more upright in the bad.

“Ran! You’re awake!” Kogoro exclaimed, almost shouting, before he put his arms around his daughter, holding her close before he moved away from her again, to take a closer look at the high schooler.

“How do you feel? Is everything alright? Should I get you a glass of water- or a doctor or-“ Ran chuckled. “I’m fine Othosan!” But her gaze moved from her father to the little boy beside the bad, who didn´t dare to look up at her.

“Shinichi… Conan-kun.” A sad smile moved to her lips, while the boy’s voice was barely more than a whisper, when he finally found the courage to look up.

“Ran… I-“

But Kogoro was not having any of that right now.

“Oh enough of that!” He cut through the suddenly awkward tension.

“You two can talk later and if you want to rip his head of Ran, I’d advise you do it later, since it wouldn’t make much of a difference right now.” He’d advice, earning protest form the boy beside him. “Oi!”

But Kogoro simply ignored him, grabbing the kid from the floor to pull both of his children in a thigh hug. “For now I’m glad the two of you are alright!”

“Othosan!”

“Ojisan!”

But Mori just grinned and the two started to laugh as well, as broken as they all might be, patched up and together, they made a strange but good family.

[prodigiousvisions]

Headcanon/Divergence? [1] (Yosano): Childhood, The Great War, and life after the war.

Initial disclaimer and semi-related note(s)–

So if part of this looks familiar to you, that’s probably because you read it before in its original, rudimentary state. I have quite a few regrets of impulsively deleting my Yosano blog (vivificamortem) tbh due to having an episode, and one of them was not saving the original post of this when I first wrote it. That being said I still think it’s important enough to warrant a rewrite even if I don’t exactly recall the specifics. As this eventually becomes very Fukuzawa and Ranpo orientated/centric, I just want to make it clear this will not apply to your respective muses of these two unless we discuss it. These are considered backstory supplements and characterizations of Yosano and Yosano’s main verse. She does not have mains for Ranpo or Fukuzawa at this time, and I usually... don’t do mains? But for specifics like this, this would probably apply to potential, future mains and warrant mains of these two. If that makes sense. Anyway. This will also include a bunch of new HC details I didn’t have before.

I was going to be mean and not put this under a cut lol but I’ll be merciful since it is extremely thorough and lengthy. 2,300+ words lengthy, and that’s not including this disclaimer. I know I asked people to read this once finished but realistically I cannot ask that in good conscious unless you are genuinely interested/care and actually are into BSD lol. Fleshed out details+conceptualized explanations/characterization below. Content/mention warnings for suicide ideation + attempts, and neglect.

CHILDHOOD

Yosano was an only child. She was not a beloved child, a planned child, nor a wanted child. Her parents would have been inclined to give her away instantly had they not compromised to raise her as a sort of... ‘help’ for the couple’s wagashi shop. It was a regret far before the first sleepless night when she was a baby, but they decided to grin and bear it. Raising Yosano was an arduous task and they made it very clear in how they behaved toward her as she was growing up. Saying that she was simply neglected wouldn’t even begin to describe it. In response to this, as a young girl Yosano developed a loud, brash personality that would more often than not get her in trouble both at school and with her parents. Being punished was never fun, but at least it garnered their attention for a little while before they went back to essentially ignoring her presence. Her adapted personality would not lead to any fruition for her lonely soul at school either, most kids finding her annoying, scary, or would simply view her in scorn for being so outspoken and strange. She began to believe the outlook of her parents: her only use was to be a shopkeep of the family business. The girl debated with herself often what was the worth of life, what was the point to live, if not to live and be frowned down upon at every other moment. Troubled and depressed, Yosano tries her hardest to cope, keeping her chin up but her eyes glued to the floor when in seclusion.

At some point or another Yosano and her parents find out about her ability and the extent of it all. It freaks Yosano out at the start, thinking about how ridiculous it is that someone who contemplated on a daily basis what they truly benefited out of being alive could potentially alter the fate of someone’s life and grant them a second chance. Then for once, she finds worth in herself. It wasn’t something she could actively go and show off of course, but it gave her a purpose. Her dramatized exterior of self-entitlement and loudmouthedness proceeds on of course, but her outlook begins to shift. She has hope. She can do something good for people. And have a (figurative) place doing so. 

This new purpose was an open door opportunity not only for Yosano, but her parents as well. At the first opportunity to do so as they are tired of taking care of this child, they’re quick to send her off, knowing how valuable that ability and its potential was. In this case, it was the military (either catching wind of her ability or deciding to now call on her due to the necessary role in their war strategy) demanding for Yosano to take part personally. It was a ridiculously easy feat to get their permission to send her away. She was technically no longer their responsibility while she was away. Hell, they hoped she would never come back.

She wouldn’t. And that was that. That was the last time she ever saw and would be in contact with her parents.

THE GREAT WAR

It’s worth reminding everyone that Yosano was a child, and the gravity of her new circumstances didn’t quite dawn on her before it was too late. At the start, she was excited to show that she could have worth and be surrounded by people that would appreciate her for what she did. It would be the first time in all of her life that would happen. And it is for these very reasons that she has such strong, genuine, sincere reactions during the chapters/times she is midst the war. While maintaining her semi huffy and self-imposed air, she was also able to allow it to falter a little because for once, she didn’t need to resort to that to be paid attention to. In their initial praise, it did freak her out at first, the foreignness being so strange to her. But she appreciated it, she truly did. (Note: this obviously doesn’t apply to Mori lol.) The unnamed soldier that Yosano interacts with at this time especially strikes a chord with her. His kindness makes her think that maybe if she was fortunate enough, she would have liked to have someone like that as a brother. Maybe someone like that could have stopped the pain she’d endured with her parents. But that was in the past! He was lending her more toward the perspective of hope just as he told her that she was doing for him and the other soldiers. The creation of the butterfly clip, again, freaks her out because she’s unsure how to react to kind gestures. It is the first of its kind– a present, meaningful in its weight and sentiment in a way that she would learn later would continue to influence her life in various, monumental ways. His present interest in poetry is also something that Yosano would find herself enjoying, too. At the time.

Honestly, I really don’t even think it’s worth elaborating on Mori cause. Well. That whole ordeal speaks for itself. His manipulation and obsession grosses her out at its minimum / start and would later be the colossal trigger and collapse of her mental stability and lead to lasting trauma even as an adult. But anyways, back to other details worth note in this timeframe.

The war efforts proceed and we reach the point where things are looking grim and soldiers are getting near fatally injured faster, and coming back in droves. She realizes rather quickly that she bit off more than she can chew; to have to bear witness to these men being on the brink of death and quickly ‘revive’ them like some sort of automated robot would, naturally, mess up anyone. Her haughty behavior drops quickly as she becomes more quiet, tired, horror creeping up her body gradually in the form of slowly raising goosebumps. She’s wondering when the war will be over, and starts to second guess her purpose. Is what she’s doing right? But she’s not hit rock bottom, not yet at least, as the unnamed soldier reassures her the second instance. He relays how her saving him would bring him back to his family. He tells her: “I’m glad that you’re here.” And it makes way for Yosano’s first instance of ever crying in front of someone, feeling an overwhelming amount of gratitude to being seen and the need to trudge forward to protect. Protect those who had a life to return to. He’d been living proof of the importance of life– that life wasn’t always so cruel to others, that she had a chance to be surrounded by those who cared about her too. She cries in her vulnerability.

Things turn for the worst. Every day is a living nightmare. She can wipe away blood from her body, others’ body, but she will never be clean of the endless pools of blood that stained her hands after her treatments. Even at the age of 11, she comes to the realization that she is the single force that shackles all these people to the torture of having to throw themselves into battle again and again for futile efforts. She’s on the brink of a nervous breakdown constantly, but consoles herself with the thought that the unnamed soldier will be able to tell her it’s alright, maybe even help her figure out a way to get them all out of there. Yosano doesn’t want her ability, hell, she’d opt to having no purpose over this. She would trade her life for all of these people. She just needed this to stop. It’s all her fault. 

The person who was the embodiment of her last shred of sanity and piece of hope commits suicide and dubs her the Angel of Death, and that was her final breaking point. The sliver of belief that providing good for people and having a purpose is ultimately gone. Her worldview that she started to have hope for shatters. It was a cumulative, gradual raise of hope for a better life to have it all smashed to the ground. This tied in with the actual events she lived through, clearly, do not help. Trauma blocks it out of her memory later on, but there are plentiful, deliberate suicide attempts from the young girl afterward, wanting out of this hell that her own hands allowed to bear fruit, but for various circumstances and reasons, her attempts would not work and/or she would simply not be allowed to die at Mori’s hands. She is a hysterical, screaming, crying mess until she is no longer able to cry anymore. If not suicide, then alternative methods. Yosano would attempt to blow the ship up with the explosives that were stored at the bottom – it would have been a far crueler end than prolonging everyone’s destined death, but ultimately fails at that as well. 

LIFE AFTER THE WAR

She is apprehended and taken away to an institution where she spends three years in a void of a space, living on earth as if her spirit has long been faded. She is a shell of a person, succumbed to her own despair and doing the absolute bare minimum. Humanity only ever makes itself present in jaded eyes that blink sometimes and the agonizingly slow rise and fall of her chest to indicate that somehow, she was breathing. Living, but not alive. Not really, anyway. She may as well be rotting away, unkempt, unpure, and wishing life would simply put her out of her misery. Devoid of any hope, feeling death would be a start of repenting for her crimes. But it was never that easy. Why would it be? 

Ranpo and Fukuzawa rescue her. We all know how that goes. Let’s touch on some details of after that. 

After rescuing her, the duo have Yosano reside with them in Fukuzawa’s apartment. While Ranpo and Fukuzawa managed to recover a glimmer of hope in Yosano by rescuing her alone, the hope is discarded as she feels she is unworthy of it and they essentially are put in a position where they have to rehabilitate her. These two people cared enough about her to try to help her– she can see it, despite going about like a walking corpse some days. But guilt is overbearing, suffocating, and it shakes her down with constant night terrors that she is too drained to scream at as well as frequent moments where she blacks out without prompting. At this time, the butterfly clip she dares not to remove from her person is a reminder, a grim heavy burden she forces herself to carry on her shoulders that she was not a good person and that this was her karma and hers alone. She should not forget that no matter how good intentioned Ranpo and Fukuzawa were to her. There was absolutely at least one more time she attempted to take her life. Needless to say, it’s a painstakingly slow process, taking about a full year before Yosano can even start to really improve outside of talking to them here and there. 

(I feel like this behavior / state is EXTREMELY similar to how Kyouka starts off as, too, so my Yosano would definitely take to Kyouka more strongly than some others. But that is an entirely different conversation for some other time.)

Once she gets to a point where she can process things again and forcing herself to come to terms with the fact that these two will simply not allow her to remain dormant, Ranpo takes to tutoring her to help get her back on track to where she left off in her schooling, as she was getting stable enough to where Fukuzawa had confidence she could get better. This process was also slow, but Ranpo is quite the good teacher when he wants to be! The endeavor is a success, and she is able to enroll again in public school, where she is still piecing together why she was granted this second chance at life. It feels pitifully ironic, all things considered. As time does, it also grants an opportunity for growth and change. Eventually, she gradually shakes her way out of her shell at snail’s pace. Some days were still harder than others, of course. Getting poetry assignments would make Yosano have full on anxiety attacks where the only solutions of getting her to calm down were to have Ranpo or Fukuzawa at her side, or if at school and neither were present, to be sent home. These instances lessened over time, thankfully, and the episodes would turn to bitter, depressing moments where Yosano would tense up and try to pass it off to Ranpo if she was able in a way that while seemed lukewarm in how she expressed it, certainly held its weight of obvious trauma. 

(She never liked to talk about her issues. Never. And instead almost always opted for distractions as her method of coping. It is a major flaw of hers that you can absolutely call her out for even in present time.)

Yosano will never truly return to being 100% normal, but that’s fine, as she really was never at 100% anyway. Schooling in its own right helped her cope with things and served as a distraction from negative thoughts, and she found herself enjoying it and studying harder than ever before. Assisting in the preliminaries of helping around the detective agency also allowed her to grow into the figurative seat that Ranpo saved just for her. No longer did she have to be abrasive to garner people’s attention, either, becoming more comfortable with an occasional snarky tongue when the situation allowed it, and slowly being allowed to live as herself for the first time. It was truly shocking to see that people liked her for her and not the potential of weaponizing the dangerous ability that she had. Once more was her ambition to help people reignited, but it would be done on her own terms. Compelled by her convictions as schooling was coming to a close, she decided that she would go to pursue higher education at a university while formally getting a degree to become a doctor. It is then when she got accepted that her new self would truly shine, becoming as close as she could to be at peace. This endeavor was sped up to lightning fast speeds because of her drilled in skill of being all the more studious and essentially holding the knowledge of what it entailed already.

Not necessarily integral details, but while in university, she did pick up the hobbies of taking up Kickboxing Classes as well as Dance Classes and are longstanding interests of hers that she maintains even after finishing her schooling. These, too, serve(d) as time slot distractions to keep her thoughts at bay when her mind decided to be a little cruel to her at some moments. Poetry no longer leaves a bitter taste in her mouth and is now a newfound interest of hers. She even writes poetry of her own at times. As of present time, her butterfly clip is still a symbol of burden she chooses to carry and a reminder, but it is also representative of metamorphosis, a chance at a new beginning– a new life. That there was value in life, and that you should live on for those who could not.

[katekvne-blog]

Memento Mori: Letterman Jacket

Jeff x Reader

Reader reminisce on the past as she deals with the present.

Warning: Angst, I guess? Nothing really.

Characters Mentioned: Alex Standall, Jessica Davis, Hannah Baker, Sheri Holland, Clay Jensen, Montgomery de la Cruz and Bryce Walker 

Words: 3180

A/N: This ended up longer than it should be. Set in both the past and present. There are notes and lines, I hope it’s not confusing. Sorry for the mistakes and the lame summary.

You look down at the flask in your hand, a pinkish coloration appears with every drop but rapidly dissipates the moment you swirl it. Slowly, your mind wanders thinking of all the different scenarios that could transpire in your upcoming date with Jeff. It was going to be your first with him, he had asked you out when you went to meet him and Clay at the library for your usual study sessions. And as fate would have, it just so happens that Clay suddenly had an errand to do leaving you and Jeff alone. You were soon brought back to your task when your lab partner shook your arm.

“You missed the note. Fuschia is not the goal, L/N”

“Ay shit! Sorry, Standall.” You apologized not looking at him as you removed the flask from under the burette.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll do the next one then you do the last.” You bit your lip in embarrassment shooting him an apologetic smile as you refill the the burette. “I’d be up in the cloud nine too if I got a date with the golden boy.” Alex smirked.

“Fuck off, Standall.” You chuckled. “You know already? He just literally asked me yesterday”

“News travels in a flash in the male’s locker room.” He said nonchalantly.Your smile falters and he shot you a look noticing your silence. “ Don’t worry, it’s not like that. Montgomery was just being a nosy fuck. If you must know, the bastard almost got pulped for having unsolicited opinions.” He said as he cautiously titrate.

At exactly 5:30 in the afternoon, the bell went off and immediately the teacher dismissed the class, without any regards whether the students finished the experiments or not. Fortunately, you and Alex finished yours just in time…of course, not for the lack of half-assing it. Cleaning up your station and the glasswares used, your other friends Hannah and Jessica soon approached you two. Their faces laced with a knowing smile.

“So, Monet’s tomorrow morning y/n? Unless of course you have another date with the Jeff Atkins.” Jessica chuckled. Before you could even respond, Hannah interjected. “You’ve chosen well, y/n. He seems like a decent guy. At least more than Marcus.” She rolled her eyes at the mention of your ex’s name.

“Hannah you sound like my mother but yes, I extremely agree!!” You chuckled.

“I’ve always wondered…he sure seem like a decent guy surrounded by jockasses.” Alex smiled at his own subtle pun.” It defies the whole rotten apple in a barrel concept. Fresh apple in a barrel of rotten ones in this case.” He continued.

“The force must be strong in that one to not be influenced.” Hannah said arousing an eruption of laughter and snorts from the group. “ You hang out with Clay Jensen too much.” Jessica rolled her eyes.

Suddenly, there was a knock.The four of you looked towards the direction of the sound and there he was. He was leaning at the door, his hand tucked inside his pocket and the other holding the strap of his bag. Flashing his picture perfect teeth, he took several steps toward you.

“Hi guys! Hey beautiful are you ready to go?” He greeted. You noted how he rubbed his nape and how he bit his lips. He was nervous, which is more than likely due to the judging audience behind you and yet, he managed to remain calm and charming.

“We were just leaving actually. Go on have fun you two and take care of my girl, Atkins.” Jessica grinned.

“Absolutely, ma’am! Won’t let even a fly near her.” Jeff saluted comically. You gave them a small smile before they walked away.

“So where are we going, hotshot?” y/n turned to the jock. Jeff smirked at you, glint in his eyes. He then proceeded to put his hand at your back ushering you to go with him.

He coolly replied, “We…are going for a ride and watch a movie.” His smile revealed there are unsaid words, urging you to ask for more. However, you soon reached his car and decided to just let it go. Letting the unknown be revealed in its intended time.

“Hey, Atkins uhm we just passed Crestmont.” You told him. He snickered, his other hand reached yours squeezing it before finally returning it back to the steering wheel like the  responsible driver that he is. For a moment there was just silence and his smile was gone.

“Maybe…This is just a trap and I’m actually kidnapping you. Ever thought about that?” He said nonchalantly. You gave him an incredulous look before laughing your head off giving him a light pat on the shoulder. 

“Nice try, Jeff. Nice try. Where are we really going tho? And I thought we’re going to watch a movie?”

“Guess I need more practice, huh? We are and don’t worry we’re near.” He smiled. Soon enough, Jeff pulled over beside a ticket booth. You gawked at the enormous screen situated in the middle, there were other cars parked in the lot and a well lit store on the far left side of the screen.

“I can’t believe I didn’t know about this drive in theater when it’s just right outside town!” y/n exclaimed.

“Knew you’d like it.”He chuckled. “Unfortunately, this is the final show so I told myself I have to ask you out real quick.” He grinned at y/n. With that said, you rolled your eyes hoping that would take away the attention from your burning up cheeks.

“C’mon, y/n. Let’s get some snacks.” He said getting out of the car. As soon as y/n closed the car door, Jeff took y/n by the hand and walked in silence towards the store dwelling at the feel of his firm grip. He bought the two of you pop corn, juice and chocolate. Going back you took the initiative and slid your fingers between his.

“I figured I’d be bold too…I mean about my own feelings for once.” You smiled at him and he looks at you adoringly before softly kissing your hands.

Instead of getting inside the car, he placed the paper bag containing the snack on the roof of the car. He himself then got up the hood of the car and sat on the roof. He held out his hand towards you to help you up.

“I have to say that this is probably the cheesiest date I’ve ever gone to.” You chuckled looking at him as you reach for the paper bag behind you. “and the movie hasn’t even started yet.” you continued.

“I guess it’s my charm.” He snickered. You lightly pushed him as you ruffle his hair.

“You smug little –”

“Oh believe me, there’s nothing little about me.” He winked at you and with that, you burst out laughing. Due to the sudden movement, your juice spilled on your blouse leaving it a little see through. You dabbed your blouse with your handkerchief in an attempt to remove the stain. Noticing this, Jeff took off his letterman jacket and placed it around you.

“Oops. Sorry, I’d be careful not to cause any more….happy accidents.” He snickered. You lightly punched him in the arm in an attempt to appear angry but a small smile finding its way to your face betrayed you.

“I hate you, Jeffrey Atkins.” You said.

“and yet, your expression says otherwise” He grinned yet again, holding your hands.

You pulled his letterman jacket closer to your body for the much needed heat. You closed your eyes appreciatively as you take in his scent. ‘His scent was very much jock.’ you smiled at the thought. It was a mixture of sweat and a very strong scent of a man’s cologne…amidst that was a subtle but distinct scent that you’re sure is very much unique to him. A scent you’re sure you wouldn’t mind getting intimate with. You stared at him taking in his features thinking, hoping that by some miracle it will immortalize this night, and this man. This man in front of you with his perfect teeth, ear studs, his fucking dimples, and his kind eyes. Slowly, you raised your other hand cupping his cheek. His eyes traveled down your lips back to your eyes and then closing them, he leaned in expecting to be met halfway. You closed your eyes, leaning in you felt chapped lips move against yours.

It started with a simple crush on the Liberty’s baseball mvp ,and just like any other freshman crushing on a senior…it was nothing more. You dismissed it and succeeded until sophomore year when Clay, your first friend in Liberty high, somehow ended up tutoring him. You and Clay were study buddies and so you frequently tagged along even when he was tutoring Jeff. Through those sessions, you got to know him, bonded with him and  even plotting with him how to get Hannah and Clay together. Unbelievable how things turned out, you were just a freshman crushing on the popular sophomore and now you’re on top of his car on some cheesy retro date. Silly, you thought, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Presently. (A year and a half after the first date.)

It’s been a week since that fateful night, the accident that took the life of your greatest love. You didn’t go out, just stayed home with nothing but the thought of Jeff gone haunting you and ever since that night you barely slept a wink. You laid on your bed staring blankly at the ceiling, replaying all the memories in your head as you held his letterman jacket close to your heart.

“Sweetie?” you hear your mom as she slowly open the door, letting light to your room. “It’s time.” She said looking at you. When moments passed in silence, she turned slowly pulling the door with her, “We’ll wait for you downstairs.”

“Mom….”you croaked speaking for the first time after days of silence. Seeing the state that you’re in she sat at your side pecking your forehead as you continue to stare at the ceiling.

“I’m so sorry you lost him this way, love.”she said. “He was like a son to us. I’m so sorry but please know that we’re here, y/n.” She continued tears rolling down her face as she squeezed you in her arms.

“We made many plans and dreams together, mom. When I saw the body bag being taken, I realized those dreams can never be. It felt like my dreams and future was snatched away right in front of my eyes.” You said, your eyes starting to water. Finally, looking to your mom’s eyes you broke down, “I can’t imagine the years to come anymore mom. I can’t imagine having a future at all. Not without him.”

At Jessica’s Party (One week ago)

As soon as you entered Jessica’s house, your boyfriend was immediately snatched by his friends inviting you as well to join them a game of beer pong. You politely declined when you saw your friends Alex and Clay. Jeff kissed you on the forehead before going. 

“Hey, didn’t think you two would come.” you approached the two.

“Yeah, I thought I’d come and annoy Jessica until she loves me again.” Alex said grabbing chips from the plate.

“That logic seems flawed.”

“It’s love. It’s not logical.” Alex simply said as he continued to munch on the chips. You couldn’t help but smile and agree at his statement. So much has happened between the four of you, the FML forever was not as forever as you’d hope it would be. It was refreshing to be able to Alex like this again.

You turned to Clay asking whether Hannah was going to come. He just shrugged and soon after a loud eruption of voices caught your attention. “Nice hair cut, Hannah” Bryce yelled followed by Sheri, Jessica and several other intoxicated people. You turned to Alex then Clay grinning at him.

“Christ, Clay! Just fucking do it.” Alex nonchalantly said leaving when he caught sight of Jessica and Justin announcing their second monthsary, who then proceeded to make out in the middle of the living room. There was a look of hesitance in Clay’s face and you decided you had to do something about it. You called out to Hannah asking her to come over to you. After some catching up, you excused yourself to get a cup of drink for yourself.

You went out to the garden and saw Jeff and his friends play beer pong. “Hey babe! I got Hannah and Clay together by the way. Hopefully, the night turns out good for them.” You smirked. “Listen, I’ll go say hi to Sheri while you play.” you gave him a peck before walking away.

“Hello there, Sheri!” you said sitting beside the cheerleader. You offered her your drink to which she declined explaining she’s going to drive. After much chatter, Montgomery came over and sat beside you.

“Hey, sheri and y/n! You girls having fun?”  he drunkenly asked.

“Yeah yeah we are.” You said dismissively. He then placed his arms around your shoulder pulling you close. You pushed him away as you removed his hands around you.

“Leave her alone, Monty.” Sheri said rolling her eyes.  He chuckled putting up his arms before he stood up to get more drinks. It’s just your luck that a very drunk Montgomery made his way out to the garden again, spotting you he came over to the poolside. Again. His words, gibberish. You and Jeff caught each other’s eyes. You gave him a comforting look affirming him that you’ll take care of this.

“Fuck off, Montgomery.” You pushed Montgomery’s hands away from your legs as soon as they made contact. You pushed him to the pool and Sheri stood up as well bidding you goodbye. You started to walk towards Jeff and his circle of friends when Montgomery emerges from the water. “What was that for, babe?” Montgomery yelled now looking a little more sober. You rolled your eyes at the name and walked over to Jeff, his friends nodding to you before going back to their conversation. You wrapped your arms around his midribs. His free hand pushed your hair  out of your face and at the back of your ear before putting them at your back. The other holding a red cup.

“Listen babe, I gotta go for a beer run soon–” He said.

You gave him an incredulous look, nodding your head towards the cup. “Jeffrey Atkins, you are NOT going on a beer run.”

He chuckled at your demanding reaction, “It’s coca cola, ma’am. Two beers, two hours ago. I’m good.” He assured you.

“Then I’ll come with you.” you told him. He shook his head, “No need, babe. Just enjoy the night. Also I think she might need some looking after.” He said shooting a glance at an acquaintance, your classmate in communications class, y/c/n.

Take my hand, take a breath, pull me close and take one step. Keep your eyes locked to mine and let the music be your guide.

“Are you seriously playing that cheesy high school musical song in a high school party?! This aint prom the fuck dude!?!” Someone yelled, clearly drunk. Soon the song changed into far too young to die. The same person yelled, “Now this is my jam! Fucking panic at the party.” With that, other people hollered along.

You chuckled, Jeff placed down his cup and pulled you closer starting to idly sway side to side. He kisses your forehead and then looks at you adoringly.

“Do you really have to be the one to go?” You asked laying your chin on his chest as you give him your best puppy eyes expression.

“Everyone else is drunk babe so…” Jeff  trailed off.

“Exactly, everyone’s drunk I doubt they need more.” You cheekily said. Just as you said that, another jock yelled. “Hey, Atkins when are you going? we could use more beer.”

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a sec.” He yelled back and turned to you with an apologetic smile.

“Fine.” You groaned, rolling your eyes. He kissed you and you felt him smirk as his hand slid close to your behind. “Hands off, lover boy.” You lightly slap his arm.

“Maybe later when you come back.” You winked at him pecking his lips.

“Hey, Atkins!” The same jock yelled impatiently.

“Well, I gotta go, love. I love you, y/n” He said.

“Love you too, Jeff. Be safe.” You told him before he walked away, he looked back flashing you his smile. You stared at his back, your stomach churning, you heart beating rapidly urging your feet to ran after him. But you didn’t. Little did you know that it would be your biggest regret that night and for the days to come.

PRESENTLY

Clad in black fitted dress, you held his neatly folded letterman jacket closed to your chest as you walk beside your parents. It was the first time you went to the venue and the last because after the final mass that evening he will be buried tomorrow. Your parents held you by the shoulder when you almost broke down at the sight of his smiling photo beside his coffin. Through watery eyes you caught sight of familiar faces. The jocks, cheerleaders, Clay, Alex, Hannah and several other students from liberty high. You caught Sheri’s eyes, she looked at you with pity more like apologetic. Clay was deep in thought, his brows furrowed as he stared at Jeff’s coffin. Finally, Jeff’s parents turned around and saw you and your parents. His parents stood up nodded to you and your parents. His dad squeezed your shoulder before nodding to his wife and ushering your parents to sit with him. Your teary eyes stared at his mom’s teary ones and you held out Jeff’s letterman jacket trying to compose yourself.

“This..uhm..this is Jeff’s. I thought you might want to have it back so I brought it.” You said almost inaudibly. She shook her head pushing it back to you.

“He’d want you to have it. I want you to have it.” She ushered you by the shoulder and walked with you towards Jeff’s casket. You broke down crying when you see him. Oh what you would give just to see him open his eyes again and tell him how much you love him.

“….Sometimes he’d smile to himself, not knowing we can see and he’d just laugh it off and blush whenever I point it out. Thank you for being there for him, for taking care of him, and for loving my son.” His mom said through tears. You turned to embrace her, crying in each other’s arms as you lament at the fact that both of you lost the love of your life.

[63824peace]

Wednesday, 2nd of november 2005

I am not a maiden--I am a man. Yet I am an Otome-za, one born beneath the astrological sign of the Virgin.

I only bear this trait because I was born on August 24. If I had been born a few days later, I would have been born under the Lion. When I was a boy I would lie that I was a Leo. Obviously, Leo sounded better than Virgo. My boyhood friends used to say, "Hide-chan, you're a Leo? Lucky!" They envied my lie.

Kids think that Leo is cooler than livestock constellations such as Taurus the Bull, Aries the Ram, and Capricorn the Goat. They likewise prefer Leo to smaller animal constellations like Pisces the Fish, Cancer the Crab, and Scorpio the Scorpion.

I don't care about that stuff anymore. After all, I'm forty years old. Today I think that an Otome-za is just as fine as anything else under the heavens.

I turned on the television news this morning and noticed a program called Today's Horoscope. This really irritated me. I don't want someone else to decide my day's future so early in the morning.

For me it's not an issue of belief or disbelief. I simply don't want to hear anything like, "Virgos should expect such-and-such things to happen." It will haunt me throughout the day.

I usually take a bathroom break or busy myself otherwise whenever Today's Horoscope starts. I don't mind hearing my fortune if my star is in a good position, but I feel terrible all day if the outlook is dour.

I was too slow this morning. I heard my horoscope.

According to the program, Virgo currently holds the fourth position among the twelve zodiacal signs. That's certainly not bad-but neither is it particularly good. I would have been quite nervous had I needed to deliver our "sons" to Aoyama today.

However, I received the advice, "You should eat ramen today." So I walked to the restaurant Gogyo in Tokyo's Nishi Azabu district. I hadn't been there in a while. I ordered a jumbo-sized ramen in scorched soy sauce, with a bowl of rice and chashao topping.

I can't deny that today's horoscope floated through my mind. I thought that Fortune might smile upon me if I ate ramen. After all, that's what my horoscope recommended.

I ate with high hopes for good tidings. Then I splashed and stained my shirt with soup from my scorched soy sauce ramen.

Is this supposed to be a sign of good luck?

I bought a copy of Yusaku Matsuda: the Complete Collection at the bookstore. The book used to sell only online, so it's a pretty rare find. Now they're reprinting it to sell in stores.

Mr. Yusaku Matsuda is greater than an actor or a celebrity idol... he is one of my generation's heroes. I esteem him as highly as Steve McQueen. I was attracted to more than just his performance and his looks. I admired his whole way of life.

I wonder if we'll ever see an actor like him again. The thought occurs to me every time I turn a page, see his picture, or read his words.

He flew from this world so young... he was only thirty-nine years old. I suddenly realized that I'm already older than him.

We held our second brainstorming session for the new project.

...what? Shinta and the prospective future director are absent.

Okamura apologized. "They've been working hard these days."

So what did yesterday's parting words even mean?! My thoughts clicked to the fact that the Virgin holds the fourth zodiacal slot.

I had no choice then but to enter the glass room with Okamura and Murashu, and Murashu isn't even involved with the project. At that point only four people (including myself) knew the project's details. I started explaining the outline to Murashu.

Now five people know about it. I'll limit my number of confidantes to these five only. It's better to involve only a few people. When we create a game, we must protect the core idea above everything else.

We conversed for about an hour. The project has an original concept as well as a deep technical side. We naturally focused our conversation on the technical aspects. We need to develop the concept and the technological feasibility independent of each other. I'll test the concept along with the actual program once our missing team members return.

By the end, our meeting had turned from a brainstorming session into a presentation of the idea to Murashu. I asked his opinion, and he said, "Looks interesting." His eyes sparkled.

In my experience, mediocre projects are usually accepted and admired during their drafting stages. Really original projects receive a lot of skeptical criticism. The Metal Gear Solid games and Boktai were ripped to pieces at first.

Maybe this project won't turn out so well after all.

Something good happened while I ate ramen. Ms. Ayumi Kinoshita visited my office to cover a story for GS Satellite. They will publish the story in mid-November.

We haven't seen each other since TGS a little over a month ago. She has changed her hair style since then--she's adopted a more boyish look.

I think that she's prettier like this.

I had her experience the TOBIDAC!D version of herself that will fly out toward our audience.

Let me illustrate the 3D mechanism for HIDEOBLOG's readers. It looks like this without TOBIDAC!D attached.

She gave me her autograph at TGS.

I have mentioned my admiration for Da Vinci on various occasions recently. I know I've mentioned it during interviews and in articles that I've written. The gallery at the Hills has hosted the Leonardo Da Vinci Exhibition since September, and they have Da Vinci's Codex Leicester.

The Mori Arts Center has the authentic Codex Leicester (owned by Mr. Bill Gates) on display. This marks the book's first visit to Japan.

The event was probably precipitated by the influence of the popular novel The Da Vinci Code. Still, the chance to see the Codex doesn't come along often. I can't pass this up. I may never see it again in my whole life if I don't go now.

I want to see it no matter what the cost.

The exhibition will remain open until November 13. For weeks I have said to myself, "The exhibition is just next door, so I can see it any time I please." Then today I reflected on my actual situation. I realized that I wouldn't have much time to see it, due to responsibilities like next week's business trip to Korea. Today is my last chance.

"I'm in a tight spot!"

I panicked.

"Well, all right... it looks like I don't have anything left to do... I only need to walk over and see it now."

I saw Murashu right when I thought this. It occurred to me that we had gone shopping together earlier, and that I've set aside today to spend with him.

Perhaps Murashu ranks fourth in my own destiny like I rank fourth in the Zodiac. The zodiacal fourth rank is neither particularly good nor bad, so Murashu shouldn't bring bad luck... though he certainly won't bring much good fortune either.

Fortunately the exhibition stays open until 10 P.M. during November. I can make it in time even if I leave at this late hour. They probably extended the hours so that people can access the panoramic viewing platform. It's the time of the season for stargazing.

Murashu and I headed to the Da Vinci Exhibition.

The exhibition hall was more crowded than one might expect at this hour. Half of the folks were couples trying to enjoy the shadows for a bit of romance. The other people were legitimate Da Vinci fans.

The real Da Vinci fans came alone, age or sex regardless. They emanated a sort of frenzied, vibrant air from their bodies.

Honestly, I couldn't care less about the handholding couples. The guys are likely preoccupied with thoughts like, "I'll hook up with her tonight for sure!"

I couldn't entirely accept the serious art fanatics' company either. They're a tough bunch. They tended to stick in one place, right in front of the exhibition displays. They hogged the informational areas. They wouldn't give up their places easily. And still... as a Da Vinci lover myself, I felt a strange and deep affection for them when I saw their obstinate passion.

I momentarily fell under the illusion that I was in the Ueno Art Museum rather than the Hills.

I saw the actual Codex Leicester. It's definitely five centuries old. Strong light would damage the materials, so they are kept under soft light for fixed intervals only.

People formed a wall in front of the manuscript while it was lighted. The light snapped off after a fixed amount of time, and then it clicked on again. The process repeated over and over.

The total display consisted of eighteen sheets of paper pressed individually between panes of glass, so that a total of thirty-six leaves were displayed. Each sheet of paper was dimly lit within an individual booth, and then it returned to darkness. The light and darkness alternated at irregular intervals.

Visitors flitted to the lighted booths like moths making shadows out of a light bulb's midsummer gloam. It was pretty difficult to see the pages in sequence.

The exhibition conditions also required reduced humidity and temperature, so it was quite cold. A man needed patience and fortitude to see everything. Once in a while, though, if I stood in front of a darkened booth, the light would turn on as though greeting my presence. Occasionally the intervals of light corresponded with my movement. It must have been coincidental, but I still felt as though I had touched Da Vinci in those moments.

I bought a booklet featuring a replica of the Codex Leicester. I also bought various goods relating to the Vitruvian Man. I love that drawing.

I took my newly purchased replica of the Codex Leicester in hand after I returned to the office. "Perhaps there is something in here written about Hideo," I mused.

I looked among the mirrored script and rough sketches, but of course I found nothing. I couldn't have found what I looked for, and I knew that. I just have this strange delusion sometimes.

I become enamored by handwriting's charm when I look through the Codex Leicester and Yusaku Matsuda: the Complete Collection. Characters penned by hand have distinct expressions. Perhaps those expressions embody characteristics of the person who set the characters in ink... his perception, strength, peculiar idiosyncrasies, emotions, and even his facial expressions. The script evokes an awareness of more than silent words. We can see the visual presence of the ideas behind the writing, and we can hear the sounds behind the words.

Kadokawa Press published a complementary book for the whole MGS mythos in 2004 titled Metal Gear Solid Naked. I wrote the book's preface in my own handwriting. That was head editor Mr. Yano's idea.

I initially protested the suggestion since my handwriting is so awful. Writing by hand makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable.

Encountering the Codex Leicester makes me think now that Mr. Yano had the right idea.

The 21st century will use digital writing preserved on personal computers as its standard archiving medium. The letters appear as they should; they're impervious to fluctuations in light and temperature; and they won't deteriorate in time.

They are practically eternal records… yet they lack charm.

Da Vinci wrote in mirrored characters... he wrote completely backwards. Even though we can't read them easily, the pressure of a pen stroke and the gaps between lines and letters give us a sense of the words' spirits. Da Vinci lives in each drawn character.

As an example of my larger point, suppose that HIDEOBLOG were to go on display after five centuries. I feel disappointed just imagining it... the sentences will line up too perfectly.

Nothing can match the impact of handwritten diaries and articles.

I hope that someone in the future invents a device that can create something akin to handwriting. It should be a digital device that operates like an analog device. It could change the color, shape, and size of the script according to measurements of the writer's emotional and physical condition. I would want this new machine to record the writer's sensations and physical environment in addition to letters.

At night I swam in the gym.

Back at home, I wrote my blog while listening to L'Arc-en-Ciel's album Awake and Hyde's single Countdown.

The day that my horoscope called "fourth rank" concluded without incident. It wasn't that bad, all in all.

Tonight I conversed with Da Vinci, five centuries gone. I sensed that I heard his voice speaking to me....

"Hideo, you don't need to be recognized and fully appreciated just yet. A day will come when you are truly understood. Continue writing HIDEOBLOG until then.

"Come on... it doesn't even need to be handwritten...."

[gnguyen002-blog]

A general look before Japanese sojourning

Considered as a very safe country to travel, Japan “ranks in the top 10 in the Global Peace Index, and it has no active travel warnings or alerts issued by the U.S. Department of State” ("How safe"). However, to prepare for any sojourning plan, a general look at all aspects is a critical step such as geography, history, politics, media and especially features of society like religions, types of communication, gender roles, cultural characteristics. Learn about cuisine and places of tourism also play a major role in the journey.

Japan is an island nation in East Asia, which situated in the Pacific Ocean, it sits on the eastern edge of the Sea of Japan, the East China Sea, China, the Korean Peninsula and the Far East Russia, stretching from the Sea of Okhotsk in the north to the East China Sea and islands, and Taiwan to the south. The official name of Japan is Nihon-koku (日本国) meaning "the root of the Sun," and people refer to call Japan as the "Sun Land.” Japan consists 6,852 islands. The four largest islands are Honshu, Hokkaido, Kyushu, and Shikoku. Japan’s capital is Tokyo; the major port is Yokohama in Honshu. Besides, many beautiful cities are popular tourist destinations, such as Sapporo-popular with winter sports, the ancient capital of Kyoto, Osaka with plenty choices of food, and Hyogo with impressive Himeji Castle. (“Japan.”)

  Japanese history passed through many important historical movements, which navigated Japan’s development. The first significant event happened in 1854, Japan and the United States concluded the Treaty of Peace and Amity, ending Japan's seclusion. Next, on 1 August 1984, First Sino-Japanese War started and was completed on 17 April 1895, resulting in Treaty of Shimonoseki. Also, Second Sino-Japanese War lasted from July 7, 1937, to September 9, 1945, led to Nanking massacre in China.World War II, lasted from 1939 to 1945, affected many countries in war zones and warring nations; Japan suffered heavy losses after the war. Specifically,  Atomic bomb Hiroshima and Nagasaki occurred on Aug 9, 1945; that event destroyed the two big cities of Japan, led to the failure of Japan in World War II. 3 May 1947 is a special day, marks Japan Independence. In 1956, Japan became a member of the United Nations, opened economic growth proceeds. Be a country usually suffering the natural disasters, Japan’s society and economy have been strongly affected by each catastrophe. For example, Great Kanto Earthquake in 1923, Major tsunami in the Indian Ocean, and Niigata-Chuetsu Earthquake both occurred in 2004, and Great East Japan Earthquake in 2011 causing the radiation effects in Fukushima.(“Explore”)

  Japanese people speaks their own language, called Nihongo (日本語). The Japanese writing system includes three sets of character: Kanji (Chinese characters), Hiragana and Katakana (together called Kana). Nearly 99 percents Japanese speak Nihongo; the remaining 1% includes minority languages (Ainu, Bonin English, Nivkh, Russian), main immigrant languages (Korean, Portuguese, and Chinese), and main foreign languages (English, Russian, German, French, Portuguese, Spanish), and sign languages. (“The Languages”)

    There are two major religions in Japan- Shinto and Buddhism. While Shinto is “as old as the Japanese culture,” Buddhism introduced into Japan from the 6th century. Besides two main religions, there are some other religions and philosophies -Confucianism, Christianity, basics for Muslim Travelers- coexisting in Japan society. Religions play the main role in Japanese daily life and particularly in Japanese festival or ceremonies like birth, weddings or funerals (“Religion”). Religions have a great influence on all aspects of Japan, even politics. Soka Gakkai, a Buddhism-based organization, is a truly large group of parishioners began as a movement of educational reform in the 1930s and developed in the postwar decades into the most active religious participants in Japanese history. Its influence spreads to politics when members of Soka Gakkai participated in electoral politics since 1955 (Shipman). This movement led to a wave of strong protest, accusing accuse Soka Gakkai of violating Japan’s constitutionally guaranteed separation of religion and politics. Although there is no clear link, religions shape the beliefs and lifestyles of the people, resulting in a great impact on Japanese politics.

    The Japanese government is a constitutional monarchy, in which the Emperor's power is limited and lowered primarily by ritualistic obligations. The government in some states consists the executive branch, the legislative branch, and judicial branch. The Bakugan Taipei was a feudal political system in the Edo period of Japan. Baku is an acronym for Baku, meaning "military government" - that is, Shogun. Japan gradually became a democracy after the end of World War II in 1945 (Shipman). It took six years of occupation and a new constitution in 1946 to bring the changes.

  Japan social hierarchy includes Upper Class, Middle Class and Lower Class (the labor class). Upper Class includes the royal family and Bussiness class; the class keeps utmost power and monetary freedom in the Japan society. Middle class includes Low Scale business men and Service men, who are laymen, common men work on the salary basis in companies or firms. The lower class is also called the labor class, includes people working every day working to earn their livelihood. (“Japan Social Hierarchy.”)

   Gender roles in Japan have changed through every different period. Confucian ideas imported from China shaped the gender roles under Confucius system- loyal and courage (Kincaid). When men were expected to be loyal to their lords, women were loyal to their family and husband. Through World War II, gender roles gradually changed based on the harsh demands of patriotism. While men were educated in absolute loyalty to the imperial and nation, women's main duties were taking care of family and ‘childbirth,’ or poor women became "comfort women,” who were forced for sexually service military soldiers. In modern society, the notion that “men make money for their families” has still existed (Kincaid). However, the number of women involved in the economic, political and educational fields is increasing, that upgrades the position of women in society and helps them to expand their influence. However, loyalty remains a top priority; the loyalty to both the company and the family is equally shared between men and women. There are many literary works about gender roles. If Patriotism of Yukio Mishima, through the ritualistic suicide of Lieutenant and his young wife, expresses the absolute loyalty of men to the Emperor and the unit and of women to their husband, Spring Storm of Mori Yoko opens a social gap when the roles of men and women change places, the woman becomes the main source of income, that will lead to the breakup of marriage.

    Two big news agencies in Japan are Kyodo-a cooperative sixty-three newspapers and Jiji- delivery of news to corporations, businesses, and government agencies ( “Japan Press”). The most prominent newspapers in Japan is Asahi Shimbun established in 1888, with two languages Japanese and English, Yomiuri Shimbun 1874; The Japan Times 1897 in English (“Top Newspapers”). Some famous television agencies in Japan are NHK general TV and educational TV, Tokyo Nippon Television Headquarters. Top three radio stations include NHK Broadcasting Center TV, AFN Tokyo, and FM Fuji: Independent ( “Japan Press”). Japanese media frequently update information of weather forecasts and natural disasters, which is an advantage for travelers. Although the filmmaking industry does not grow so strong in Japan, the animation industry has many achievements over the world. Japanese animations variety of genre, new content, form, especially no limit in the audience’s generations. Some famous Japanese films are Spirited Away- a story about a girl fighting in an imagine world to save her family, Nobody Knows- real story about Sugamo child abandonment case, "Love and Honor"-love and honor of the couple due to the husband's revenge against the high samurai, the recent anime movie “Your name”-A teenage boy and girl embark on a meeting to meet for the first time after they exchange the body miraculously.

    The yen is the official Japanese currency, the third currency traded on the foreign exchange market after the US dollar and the euro. Bills are worth 1000 yen, 2,000 yen (very rare), 5,000 yen and 10,000 yen. Coins are available in 1 yen, 5 yen, 10 yen, 50 yen, 100 yen and 500 yen denominations. Foreign currency is generally not accepted outside major international airports. Japan has a reputation as a cash- based society, but the trend has gradually changed, and there has been a significant increase in acceptance of other payment methods Credit or Debit Card, IC Card. (“Money")

  Japan has a distinct national cultural identity; however, Japanese culture has been a combination of the traditional value and import of foreign culture. One of the country influencing to Japan is China. The Japan written language is believed adopting from Chinese script to make the communication between empires during the interference of two cultures more convenient. However, the development of Japanese and Chinese writing styles through centuries made them unique. An important aspect affecting the Japanese culture is religion. Although the origin of Buddhism is in India, Japanese Buddhism is the result of the spread of Chinese Buddhism, became one in two major religions of Japan besides Shinto. (“The influence”). The widespread of Buddhism lead to the birth of series of architectural works that combine Japanese traditional culture and religious culture; for example Butsuden at Myōshin-ji in Kyoto, Pagoda of Ichijō-ji in Kasai and Kōmyō-ji's Main Hall in Kamakura (Blair). If China made an obvious impact on Japanese writing and religion, Korean culture has left its footprint on many aspects of the culture such as music and dance, silk weaving, jewelry, sculpture, sewing. To observe the combination between two cultures, the travelers can visit Tamamushi Shrine of Hōryū-ji temple complex and the main hall of Asuka-dera Temple in Nara, or the "Crown-Coiffed Maitreya” Koryu-ji Temple in Kyoto (Blair). A clear example of Western influence on Japan is that Japan combines the traditional new year and western new year, celebrates the official New Year on January 1 of each year by the Gregorian calendar.

   The traditional Japanese food is based on rice with miso soup and other dishes; There is an emphasis on seasonal ingredients. Side dishes usually include fish, salads, vegetables cooked in soup. Seafood is popular, usually grilled, but also serves ingredients such as sashimi or sushi. A “Japanese meal” usually includes white rice, miso soup, and tsukemono, pickles. Soba and udon noodles, Yakiniku-grilled meat, Ramen-low-cost Chinese-noodle dish, Okonomiyaki-pancakelike dish (“Japanese Food”). Japanese cuisine spread throughout the world. In particular, Japanese food is often sophisticated regarding processing, presentation, style, and Japanese restaurants often have unique characteristics of decoration and costumes. Thus, the development of cuisine serves as a springboard for the expansion of Japanese culture. To Japan, visitors can not ignore the street dining experience with attractive and colorful dishes such as Okonomiyaki-Japanese pancakes, Watame-American carnival classics, Yaki Imo-baked sweet potatoes, Crepes, Taiyaki-fish shaped cakes, and Ikayaki-grilled squid (Spacey).

    Because Japanese culture is more formal, going through rituals is another important way to show respect. The Japanese greet each other by bowing and saying "Ohayō gozaimasu," "Konnichiwa" or "Konbanwa" depending on the time of day. In casual and informal case, the bow is a small nod of the head, and become a deep bend at the waist to indicate respect. Japanese welcome every single person, even if they are in a group. Today it is quite common to use short greetings, such as "yā" and "yō." However, it is more common to say nothing between close friends. (“Japanese Greetings.”)

    "Japan is considered as one of the highest context cultures in the world" (Frost). The Japanese appreciate the group, team working, even in businesses or social activities. There is the big distinction between those in the inner and outside cycle. One result if high context culture the is relying on non-verbal indications like the tone of voice and facial expressions than words (Frost). Japanese people prefer the indirect style of communication over a direct style so that they usually imply what they mean through volume, word choice, facial expressions, the tone of voice and gesture (Seifi). For example, the Japanese say “yes” usually meaning “I hear you,” not “I agree with you,” which causes the misunderstanding when interaction with the Western company. Japan is also an extremely time-conscious culture (“Time”). It is contradicting when Japanese use the polychronic time for each other, but strict monochronic time to work with foreigners and technology (Frost). A characteristic of the polychronic time when the Japanese spend most of the time socializing with colleagues; they combine the work time and free time to improve the co-worker relationships (Frost). Type of communication in Japan inclines to neutral style, which means that thoughts are more important than emotion (“Affective/Neutral.”). The Japanese rarely express the excessive feelings, they usually keep an impassive expression in front of other people, especially in non-closed relationships.

    Traditional clothing in Japan is Kimono, which is still used in ceremonies and special events. In daily life, the Japanese’s clothing follows the western fashion. Nonverbal communication is important in Japan when the Japanese consider silence as ‘golden.' If eye contact is appropriate in US or UK, it becomes aggression in Japan. Eye contact can make the listeners uncomfortable, and be considered as rude or even sexually intrusive. Instead of pointing, the Japanese prefer to use an open hand to indicating something or somebody. The action that lets the wrist go limp and flop the fingers at the person means waving goodbye to someone; it may cause confusion for foreigners when this action seems like ‘come here’ in other culture. Posture shows attitude in Japan. Sitting with the arm or leg out is a serious sin in Japan - means taking up space; it is also a sign of confidence, which many Japanese people explain is too confident or arrogant (Seifi). An interesting thing in Japan is that slurping noodles while eating shows enjoying the food. The Japanese prefer standing at arms lengths from one another; the distance can increase when meeting a stranger (“JAPAN.”). In conversing, there is almost no touching between each other. However, the distances can be restricted in public places, such as pushing up in the subway; it is interesting that someone falls asleep with his or her head in other’s shoulder is common practice, and the Japan usually just tolerate it instead of trying to put his or her head away.

    The sojourning will bring great experiences and much useful knowledge. A thorough preparation before the journey is the perfect start the most favorable trip.

Works Cited

“Affective/Neutral.” InterCultural English, interculturalenglish.weebly.com/     affectiveneutral.html. Accessed 23 Apr. 2017.

Blair, Heather. “Buddhist Art and Architecture in Japan - Buddhism .” Oxford Bibliographies, Oxford University Press, 24 Mar. 2017, www.oxfordbibliographies.com/view/document/         obo-9780195393521/obo-9780195393521-0010.xml. Accessed 23 Apr. 2017.

“Explore Japan History.” Web Japan, web-jpn.org/kidsweb/explore/history/index.html. Accessed     23 Apr. 2017.

Folger, Jean. “How Safe Is It To Travel In Japan?” Investopedia, 3 June 2015, www.investopedia.com/articles/personal-finance/060315/how-safe-it-travel-japan.asp. Accessed 23 Apr. 2017.

Frost, Alan. “Japan: A High Context Culture.” Restaurant Kyotos Blog, restaurantkyoto.dk/blog/en/japan-a-high-context-culture/. Accessed 23 Apr. 2017.

“JAPAN.” Culture Crossing, guide.culturecrossing.net/basics_business_student_details.php?         Id=8&CID=104. Accessed 23 Apr. 2017.

“Japan.” Encyclopedia of the Nations,  www.nationsencyclopedia.com/economies/Asia-and-the-         Pacific/Japan.html. Accessed 20 Apr. 2017.

“Japanese Greetings.” Learn a Language Online with Rocket Languages,           www.rocketlanguages.com/japanese/learn/japanese-greetings/. Accessed 23 Apr. 2017.

“Japanese Food Culture.” Japan Fact Sheet. web-japan.org/factsheet/en/pdf/ 36JapFoodCulture.pdf. Accessed 23 Apr. 2017.

“Japan Press, Media, TV, Radio, Newspapers.” Press Reference, www.pressreference.com/Gu-Ku/Japan.html. Accessed 23 Apr. 2017.

“Japan Social Hierarchy.” Hierarchy, www.hierarchystructure.com/japan-social-hierarchy/.Accessed 23 Apr. 2017.

“Money on Your Trip to Japan.” Plan a Trip, www.japan-guide.com/e/e2196.html. Accessed 23 Apr. 2017.

“Religion in Japan.” Plan a Trip, www.japan-guide.com/e/e629.html. Accessed 23 Apr. 2017.

    Kincaid, Chris. “A Look at Gender Expectations in Japanese Society.” Japan Powered, 23     May 2016, www.japanpowered.com/japan-culture/a-look-at-gender-expectations-in- japanese-society. Accessed 23 Apr. 2017.

Seifi, Philip. “Japanese Body Language and Gestures.” Become a Successful Language Learner |LinguaLift Blog, 19 Dec. 2016, www.lingualift.com/blog/japanese-body-language-gestures/. Accessed 23 Apr. 2017.

Shipman, Matt. “Religion and Politics in Japan: A Conversation with Religion Scholar LeviMcLaughlin.” NC State News, 16 Dec. 2014, news.ncsu.edu/2014/12/mclaughlin-japan-         election/. Accessed 23 Apr. 2017.

Spacey, John. “29 Japanese Street Foods.” Japan Talk, 28 June 2015, www.japan-talk.com/jt/new/japanese-street-food. Accessed 23 Apr. 2017.

“The Influence Of Chinese Culture On Japanese Culture.” Articles about Chinese Culture, 28         Aug. 2013, www.char4u.com/content/the-influence-of-chinese-culture-on-japanese-         culture/. Accessed 20 Apr. 2017.

“The Languages Spoken in Japan.” Studycountry, www.studycountry.com/guide/JP-language.htm. Accessed 23 Apr. 2017.

“Time in Different Cultures.” Exactly What Is Time?, www.exactlywhatistime.com/other-aspects-of-time/time-in-different-cultures/. Accessed 23 Apr. 2017.

“Top Newspapers in Japan by Web Ranking.” 4 International Media & Newspapers, www.4imn.com/jp/. Accessed 23 Apr. 2017.