#it's easier to call rape trauma than psychological/emotional abuse | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

we-are-only-halfway-home93 · 5 years

Text

Come and Lay the Roses 12- If I Had A Voice- [Ivar x OC]

Summary: Aaline reveals her past traumas to Ivar.

Characters: Ivar x OC, Bjorn x Torvi, Ubbe x Margrethe, Hvitserk x Thora, Sigurd x OC, Ragnar, Lagertha

Warnings: Arranged marriage, violence, sex, torture, language, discussion of past rape

Word Count: 2991

Ch. 11

“I wish that you never know the pain of having a voice and not being able to use it.”

~ Sohela Chatterjee

“Left! Left! I said left!”

Ivar lowered his gloves and glared at his wife. She huffed and rested her hands on her hips, exasperated.

They had been training regularly for the last two weeks. They had opted out of a traditional honeymoon for obvious reasons but they needed to keep up appearances. They made sure to keep themselves out of the public eye for the last two weeks to feign wedded bliss when really they’d been boxing for most of it.

They’d built up a rapport in their training regime. It was easier for them to trust each other in the ring. They dropped away all pretenses and could just be themselves.

With Ivar’s experience, he was able to provide Aaline with some insight that she was unfamiliar with. She had never fought professionally and kept it strictly about training. Ivar loved the performance of the sport. He lived for the broadcasting and the publicity of the whole thing. If it wasn’t for his hips he could’ve had a lucrative professional boxing career.

Aaline had never strived for a career in boxing. It was simply a way for her to defend herself. She had learned early in life that the best way to protect yourself was both physically and psychologically. Once she picked up boxing, she’d felt a level of empowerment that she hadn’t felt before. She was able to take her life back.

“Why do you ignore me, huh? I’m trying to help you.” Ivar growled. She rolled her eyes and turned away, bending at the waist to pick up her water bottle and take a long swig. Ivar huffed and leaned back against the ropes, watching her.

He’d been wondering, for the months that he’d known her, why she’d taken up boxing. She had mentioned that she wanted to know how to defend herself and he understood that he really did. Some of the most talented fighters that he knew were women. Lagertha herself was a force to be reckoned with.

Deep in his gut, he knew that there was something in her past that drew her to self-defense. Her instincts to fight him when he approached her without warning. Her threats of physical violence when she felt threatened. She had alluded more than once to being touched without her permission.

Ivar was not stupid. He worked in a crime syndicate that participated in various illegal activities on a regular basis. Women were attacked all the time for their connections to powerful men. The thought of his wife having fallen under that category brought up strong feelings of violence. He wanted to hurt someone. He wanted to cause pain.

This was not a feeling that he particularly cared for. He hadn’t ever felt this before.

His brothers didn’t need protection. They were more than capable of taking care of themselves. He was young when his mother died and it had happened so suddenly that he would’ve been unable to protect her no matter how hard he tried. His brothers were responsible for the protection of their wives.

This overwhelming urge he had to protect his wife was foreign and he didn’t know how he felt about it.

“What made you want to learn to box, Aaline?” He asked. He tilted his head to the side and watched her with calculating eyes. She dropped the water bottle from her lips and kept her eyes focused on the wall over his shoulder.

“Why do you want to know?” She asked. She brought her hands down by her sides and licked excess water from her lips. He shrugged and a small smile graced his face. She looked away.

“You told me you wanted to learn how to defend yourself so,” He brought his hands up in a kind of shrug and brought them back down, the ropes springing back against his weight. She trailed her eyes over his face, trying to determine his motivation. She shook her head.

He sighed and licked his lips. “Come on, Aaline. You are my wife. We’re supposed to tell each other things. We’re supposed to trust each other.” She snorted and shook her head. His face fell and he narrowed his eyes. His shoulders tensed and he stared at her under his brow.

“What, you don’t trust me?” She snorted again and shook her head.

“I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you. You haven’t done anything to show me that I can trust you.” She gestured her hands out towards him before dropping them down at her side with a reverberating smack.

He rolled his eyes. “I didn’t let your father walk you down the aisle. I had Ragnar do it instead.” He shrugged and continued before she could open her mouth to speak. “I insisted that we skip father-daughter and son-mother dances for,” He gestured back and forth between the two of them. “Obvious reasons. I told you that my father thought death would be better than living life as a cripple.”

“You’re not a cripple.” She said. He hummed and ignored her.

“The point is, I have done several things that imply you can trust me so,” He nodded towards her. “Trust me.”

She continued to look unsure so Ivar rolled his eyes in a fashion that would make the queen bee’s jealous and sighed with a drama rarely seen off the stage. “I’m torturing Aethelwulf.” She cocked an eyebrow but otherwise remained emotionless.

“I’ve had him for,” He shrugged, mentally calculating the days that he’s had Aethelwulf. “I don’t know, weeks, at this point. I’m trying to get information but he’s being fairly tightlipped.” He took a deep breath through his nose and pointed at her. “I enjoy it, too. Did you know that?”

She blinked slowly at him before nodding once. He hummed and trailed his eyes over her frame. “I’m sure that’s not news to you at all.” He took a deep breath and looked away, suddenly unable to bear any look of rejection that flashed across her face.

“I know there’s something wrong with me. I’ve always known. I get a thrill out of the violence and danger of my work. I enjoy it when we have to go head to head with anyone. I prefer it when my father resorts to physical violence as opposed to psychological manipulation. It’s more fun that way.

“I never killed cats or wet the bed. I wasn’t abused or neglected. I’ve always enjoyed violence. I like to hurt people but only when they’ve slighted me.” He rolled his eyes and gestured vaguely off the side. “Or my family but mostly me.” He missed the slight smile that came to her lips. He was too busy looking away from her to see it.

“Everyone else doesn’t matter. They’re insignificant unless they threaten my family. Then they’re expendable.” He looked at her finally and shrugged nonchalantly. It looked like he didn’t have a care in the world and couldn’t care less if she agreed with him but inside he was terrified that she would run screaming from the room.

Aaline watched his eyes swirl with a multitude of emotions. His admission wasn’t nearly as difficult as hers was about to be but she supposed she owed him. This was a partnership after all and he wasn’t wrong. They needed to trust each other and how else did you build trust? By sharing secrets.

“When I was sixteen, I was attending my third boarding school in eight years. After my mother died, my father shipped me off to European boarding schools to keep me out of the way. Either that or to avoid interacting with me. Either way, I’d seen my dad a handful of times in the eight years since he’d sent me to Europe and most of those times was when I got into trouble and had to be transferred out.

“At that point, I’d built a nice little reputation for being a trouble maker and an outcast so I didn’t have any friends. People tended to stay away from me because of my reputation but that didn’t stop the richest kids from trying to get a rise out of me.

“For the most part, it was easy to ignore them. I tended to avoid confrontation unless someone put their hands on me or purposely sabotaged me in some way. When I was a ten, a little girl had been picking on me for two years, upping the ante until she claimed my art project as hers.

“I had spent weeks on it, working all through art class to complete it, perfect it. We had the same initials, A.J., so when it was time to turn in the completed projects, she took mine and broke hers, claiming my project as her own. She got an A and I failed.

“So, for the next few weeks I started,” Aaline gave a hesitant shrug and squinted like she was trying to come up with the right word. “Scaring her, I guess. First, I sent her black roses. Then I started taking her things, keeping them for a day or two and then returning them in worse condition. I put roaches in her desk, I stole her math workbook so she failed an entire section of math class.

“It was a boarding school so we slept in dorms. I snuck into her dorm and put gum and glue all in her hair. She had beautiful, long blonde that she was super proud of, and the headmistress had to cut it all off.” Aaline smirked, giggling as she recalled the memory. “She looked like a boy.”

She sighed and shook herself. “Anyway, she suspected it was me for a long time and her hair was the final straw. The deputy headmistress brought me in with her and she accused me of doing all those things to her. They couldn’t prove it and I said as much. They didn’t like that so they did the next best thing besides expulsion.

“They called my father, he flew out and they told him I needed to be transferred out by next semester. I could finish my exams early and start at a new school for the new semester.”

She shrugged. Her face was impassive and blank of all emotion. “So I did. That was the first time I was transferred out. I transferred again when I was twelve and then when I was sixteen.” She stopped and looked away. He could see a new shine in her eyes and braced himself.

“When I was sixteen, I was in my third boarding school. People avoided me for the most part. I got called a few names, heckled in the halls but nothing serious. Halfway through the first semester this boy, Domonick Benjamina, started following me around. I ignored him at first, didn’t take him seriously. He was friends with a lot of the people that harassed me regularly so I didn’t give him the time of day but he was persistent.”

She shook her head and looked down at her clasped hands. Ivar kept himself still across from her, afraid any movement would scare her away like a rabbit in the brush. “He left me little notes in my locker, gave me origami roses and swans, sat next to me at lunch.” She looked up at Ivar. “He even bought me flowers once. Red roses which,” She pursed her lips and hummed. “Have never been my favorite.”

Ivar let a small smile come to his face but didn’t say anything. She pressed on. “Around Christmas time, he asked me out on a date. Naively, I agreed.” Ivar felt a cold sense of dread creep up the back of his neck. Ice settled low in his belly and he felt his fingers tighten on the ropes.

“He took me off campus to a fancy restaurant. I had never been off campus for dinner. I preferred to keep to myself so it was a welcome change. We had dinner, took a walk, and then he took me back to his car.” Her voice cracked at the end and she cleared her throat. Ivar tried to swallow but his tongue felt like sandpaper, grating the back of his throat.

“He opened the back door of his car and I was confused. He winked at me and told me to get in. I started to get nervous and tried to go around him but he wouldn’t let me. He grabbed my arm and pushed against the car. He told me to get in or he would leave me in the woods to walk the fifteen miles back to campus alone.

“I told him to let me go or I’d scream and he said no one would hear me. He slammed me back against the car when I pushed him away and I hit my head. I was dazed and the sky was spinning but I felt him shove me into the backseat.”

She swallowed thickly and crossed her arms over her chest, hunching forward. “He raped me. When he was finished, he drove me back to campus and told me I was a great lay.” She looked up at him and Ivar could see the anger and the pain rooted deep in her eyes. He could also see the strength and power inside them.

“The next day, I went to the headmistress and told her what had happened. She asked me if I kept the clothes I was wearing and when I said yes she asked me for them. I gave them to her and she said she would get in touch with the police.

“I should’ve known she was lying. She didn’t ask me who did it, she didn’t ask for any details, she didn’t call the police right then and there, she didn’t ask if I needed to go to the hospital, nothing. She just asked for my clothes and sent me back to my room.”

Ivar sucked in a sharp breath and looked away. His body was trembling with rage. “It wasn’t until after winter break that I asked her about it. She said the police couldn’t find anything to corroborate my story so they had no choice but to drop it. I told her she was lying and she said that there was no point in pursuing it. No one would believe me and I would just be ruining a young man’s life.”

Ivar shook his head and stepped off the ropes. She reared back and he held up his hands in surrender. “Thank you, Aaline, for telling me what happened to you but I’m afraid I need to go hit someone.” She gave him a shaky smile before he stalked out of the ring.

~*~

Ragnar watched his youngest son rage throughout the living room. He had already broken two chairs and a china cabinet. He’d punched three holes in the drywall and left scuffs on the floor that Lagertha would throw a fit about.

Ivar had stormed into the room where he and Björn had been exploring the deal they’d made between Aelle and Ecbert. He began screaming about Aaline being assaulted and mistreated. He’d gone on about getting vengeance and finding the man who’d raped her and making him hurt as much as she was.

Ragnar and Björn listened with patience and let Ivar express himself. It was when he reached for the table that Ragnar had to stop him.

“Ivar! Enough!” Ivar froze, trembling in front of the table. He was drenched in sweat and his breathing was deep and uneven.

Björn held up placating hands and stared at Ivar like he was a wounded animal. “Son, I realize that you are upset about this but,” Ivar cut him off.

“Did you not hear what I just said? My wife was raped and no one did anything about it. She told people and no one believed her.” Ivar pointed an accusing finger at his father. “You did not see what I saw in her eyes. You don’t know.”

Ragnar hissed like an angry cat and Ivar stepped back. “Did you stop long enough to let her finish? Do you know what she did to him?” Ivar narrowed his eyes but didn’t speak. That was enough for Ragnar to know that he didn’t wait. He didn’t know what Aaline had done to Domonick Benjamina.

“She ostracized him from his friends. She made him out to be a pervert. She sent pictures out to all the girls in school and made it look like he was sexually harassing them. She shared secrets that people had told him. His friends dropped him, three sexual harassment charges were brought up against him and he was asked to leave school.

“He had to finish school in public education because no boarding school would take him and he couldn’t get into any Ivy League school. Last I heard, he was working a desk job in his father’s company because he didn’t have a degree to work higher up and no other place would take him because of his history.

“This didn’t stop with high school, son. She maintained her vengeance until she felt his life had been properly ruined. She sent him black roses every month that she ruined him. They only stopped coming when she felt he had been properly punished.”

Ragnar sat back and looked at his son.

Ivar glared down at the glossy surface of the table, his hands resting on his hips and his breathing noticeably calmer. Sweat still dripped from his brow but he was no longer shaking with rage.

He looked up and Ragnar was not surprised to see the familiar steel that coursed through Ivar when he set himself up for a mission. “Well, I’m afraid that’s not good enough.”

Ragnar couldn’t help but smile.

Tags: @bcarolinablr @funmadnessandbadassvikings @jay-bel @feyrearcheron44 @littledeadrottinghood

39 notes · View notes

circe-poetica · 5 years

Text

Lunar Eclipse July 2019 Astrology

At 24°04′ Capricorn, the July 2019 lunar eclipse is only 2°13′ from the dwarf planet, Pluto, making this an intensely emotional lunar eclipse. The eclipse is square another dwarf planet called Eris by only 0°15′. This suggests the lunar eclipse will expose many dark secrets and bad behaviors. In turn, this will cause conflict and turmoil, and a dramatic transformation in relationships, society, and culture.

Looking at the lunar eclipse July 2019 astrology chart below you will see Saturn is also close to the Moon. But over 7 degrees is a bit too far away to have a noticeable influence, especially considering Pluto is so close to the Moon. Yet Saturn makes two other much stronger aspects worth considering. Venus opposite Saturn is not a good omen for love relationships, but Saturn sextile Neptune brings hope that something good will come from the strife and discord.

There are no major fixed stars within orb of the lunar eclipse but the Sun is closely aligned with fixed star Pollux in Gemini Constellation. This adds an aggressive and destructive Mars-like influence to the eclipse, but I will talk more about the stellar influences later.

Lunar Eclipse Conjunct Pluto

Moon conjunct Pluto brings such deep feelings that they can overwhelm you. A personal interaction or event may trigger a memory or emotion buried deeply in your subconscious. You might even become obsessed about your feelings and have trouble focusing on anything else. Dreams, visions, psychic impressions or intuitive insights may have a profound influence on your mood. Interactions with women will be particularly intense and revealing.

Your intuition may be correct but could obscure your rational thought processes and conscious judgment skills. In relationships, you may have to deal with controlling and manipulative behaviors like jealousy, guilt-tripping, threats, intimidation, violence or self-harm. Transcend your own challenging emotions and behaviors through meditation, self-analysis, or other technique to understand your feelings.

Sun opposite Pluto can bring some sort of crisis with your self-esteem, a relationship or an event. This may be related to abuse of power or due to a self-destructive character trait such as addiction, spying or stubbornness. Events may include the breakdown of an appliance or car, theft or violence.

Avoid being overly assertive, egotistic, or resistant to change. Challenges are more likely if you stubbornly resist change, or have engaged in some habit that is destructive to yourself or others. Even though you may experience a bruised ego, there is also great potential for positives if you are open to change.

Dwarf Planet Eris

The dwarf planet Eris was discovered in January 2005 and named after the Greek goddess of strife and discord. Eris takes 558 years to orbit the Sun, more than double that of Pluto’s 248 years. According to Nick Anthony Fiorenza:

Eris challenges patriarchal authority. As a powerful warrior female force, Eris especially uncovers and challenges patriarchal dominant miss-deeds and acts of misuse of power, especially about male dominance over, or exploitation of, women. Eris takes a stand to reestablish balance to our gender dominance/subservience imbalance by disclosing such discordance… and Eris abhors, will provoke and will challenge the assumption of the reality of a situation when based on false pretense. She provokes change by upsetting the status quo, by upsetting the apple cart. Eris discloses and exposes clandestine affairs, or simply what lies hidden behind innocent but naïve assumptions about reality. She opens our eyes to what is covered by lies, often revealing something deceitful, shameful, ugly, or simply what is unacceptable behavior, often driven from greed or inflated pride. [1]

So Eris square the lunar eclipse and Pluto is going to give more power and influence to the #MeToo Movement. The Sun opposite Moon at a lunar eclipse already highlights differences between masculine and feminine energies. The lunar eclipse will shine a light on abuses of power and all the ugly, cruel, disgusting, immoral, unethical and illegal behavior in society. It especially emphasizes the mistreatment of women by men in positions of power and authority.

Following this lunar eclipse, bad behavior in the domestic and work environment will no longer be tolerated. Annoyance and irritation will turn to aggressive reactions, the exposure of secrets, separations and legal cases. Perpetrators will be shamed, vilified, demoted, fired, fined and imprisoned. Victims will be acknowledged, vindicated, emboldened, promoted and compensated.

Other Aspects of the Lunar Eclipse

Venus opposite Saturn brings sadness and loneliness because of delays and limitations affecting your love life and finances. It makes it harder to give and receive love and affection. Physical or emotional distance can add more strain on love relationships. The best way to show you care is to work hard and do practical things. Try to work out where you are responsible for any relationship difficulties and do some work on self-development. Try to pay off any debts and if you can’t, at least organize them so you know where you stand.

Venus trine Neptune is good for relaxation and daydreaming. It softens the cold Saturn influence and makes it easier to connect through empathy. It heightens your sense of compassion and wishes to serve to others. So Lunar Eclipse July 2019 is good for joining a charity or some other organization to help less fortunate people. This wish to help out may even lead to political activism. Connecting to a companion at the spiritual level will be easier and make up for the lack of affection from Saturn.

Saturn sextile Neptune brings material gain from spiritual pursuits. You can make your dreams come true with hard work and a sensible, realistic approach. You will understand your own limitations but will be optimistic at the same time. Through practical help and spiritual support and encouragement, you can help others follow their dreams. You might become attracted to groups or clubs with similar values or beliefs to your own. These may include churches and other religious or spiritual groups, charities, welfare and support groups, animal rights and environmental causes.

Lunar Eclipse Fixed Stars

Fixed star Pollux (23°28′ Cancer) makes people spirited, audacious and brave. According to George Noonan [2], it portends eminence and renown, while the energy of Mars can be extremely valuable in such areas as war and business and politics. But Elsbeth Ebertin [3] calls it ‘the wicked boy’ of the Gemini twins. It can give a cruel, rash nature with an aptitude for getting into quarrels. Vivian Robson [4] said it gives a love of boxing, dignified malevolence, and is connected with poisons.

Sun conjunct Pollux: Brutal and tyrannical, violent and cruel. [3] Occult and theosophical interests, blows, stabs, serious accidents, shooting, shipwreck, murderer or murdered, extreme sickness and diseases, fevers, ailments affecting the stomach, homosexual, riches, and honor but final ruin, blindness, injuries to head and face, quarrels, rape committed or suffered, banishment, imprisonment for embezzling, violent death, decapitation. [4]

Venus conjunct fixed star Canopus (15°12′ Cancer): Emotional, sensitive, stubborn, strong passions, scandal through an intrigue by which reputation will suffer, public disgrace, bad for gain. [4] Immunity from disease and unrequited love. [2]

Saturn conjunct fixed star Vega (15°35′ Capricorn): Strong passions, opinionated, original, many Mercurial difficulties, reputation suffers through wrongful accusations, trouble with superiors, domestic difficulties, few if any, children, the latter half of life more favorable, sudden death. [4] Deflation of masculine pride. [5]

Summary

The partial lunar eclipse on July 16, 2019, with Pluto, brings intense emotions and compulsive behavior. It brings the potential for a personal crisis revealing deeply buried memories and psychological trauma. Power struggles, abuse of power, manipulation, jealousy, and lies are possible. Dark secrets will be exposed and this is also caused by the eclipse square Eris.

Eris represents the female warrior archetype and strengthens the feminist cause. At the personal level, expect the calling out of sexual abuse and misogyny to result in more criminal cases. At the social and cultural level, the attack on the patriarchal authority will intensify.

Other planetary aspects widen the gap between men and women. But Lunar Eclipse July 2019 also gives hope that empathy and understanding will lead to lasting changes out of the strife and discord. This should result in higher ethical and moral standards, especially regarding the treatment of women in the workplace but also in the domestic environment.

Fixed star conjunctions to the Sun, Venus, and Saturn highlight the unrequited love associated with sexual misconduct, and “wicked” behaviors like brutality, rape, violence and cruelty. The attack on the patriarchal authority will result in a loss of masculine pride. The stars also show scandal through intrigue and the resulting public disgrace and destruction of reputations. However, the Me Too Movement fight against abuse of power will itself be taken advantage of. Reputations will suffer through wrongful accusations.

https://astrologyking.com/lunar-eclipse-july-2019/

#lunar eclipse 16 july 2019 #me too movement #astrologyking #current astrology

1 note · View note

isitandwonder · 7 years

Text

Because @alexaprilgarden asked me for suggestions for a nice long plotty johnlock fic to read (a bit like Edinburgh Problem by snorklepie), and because I always wanted to do a rec list, here are my recommendations. Please, be careful, many are rather dark. Heed the tags.

Two Coffees, One Black One With Sugar Please by Linpatootie: I love love love this series. It’s sweet and funny, totally in character and with some really hot scenes. How Sherlock and John become an item, in their own way. Also a podfic by @magicranberries

The Heart In The Whole by @verity-burns: EPIC friends to lovers. All the feels. A true classic. Set after The Great Game, where (in this version) Sherlock got severely injured and needs John’s help to recover.

Paper Angel by @distantstarlight: A lovely Christmas fic. Sweet and tender.

The Chemistry Is Incredibly Simple And Very Destructive by @starrysummer-nights: Sherlock is too busy to continue to go out and procure willing sex partners for himself so he comes up with the perfect solution: John. After all, he knows John is attracted to him and they are already living together. Why not make their friendship one with benefits? What could go wrong? - Well I have eight ideas so far...

Given In Evidence by @verity-burns: God, I love this story! Drama, feels, first time... and a case.

Cracks In The Pavement by naughtyspirit: Infidelity! While Mary is out with her friends, John meets Sherlock... naughtyspirit has some nice other fics, check them out.

The Roads Less Travelled by @verity-burns: Sherlock realises that John's dating habits involve an unacceptable level of risk... what if he meets an unusually tolerant woman and ends up getting married? - You can imagine what Sherlock does - or can you? Great fic!

The Good Morrow series by greywash ( @fizzygins): I don’t really know how to describe this. It’s unbelievably good, hot, thrilling.

John Watson’s Twelve Days Of Christmas by @earlgreytea68: It's the holiday season. John Watson needs money. Sherlock Holmes needs something else. Pretend relationship - until it isn’t. So lovely!

The Last Place You’d Look by theorclair: An abuse case turns into an investigation where Sherlock, John, and all of Scotland Yard will learn stunning things about Sherlock's past and will change the relationship between him and John forever. TW for child abuse, but so good!

The Game has Changed by youtextd: Rather dark hurt/comfort post-Reichenbach fic. TW for torture.

A Good Old-Fashioned Happy Ending by darcylindbergh: Lovely Christmas fic. Sherlock wants to ask John to marry him and almost overthinks and panics. But they get there in the end.

An Alternative Universe by notjustmum: How S3 could have gone without Mary Morstan.

Human Error by ValarMorghulis508: John leaves Mary for Sherlock. Mary tries to get John back. And she’s a true piece of work. Kinky.

Sheherezade by sgam76: Sherlock is back from the dead and he and John resume their work. But Sherlock’s past and childhood catch up on him. John tries to deal with it, tries to help his friend but has to understand that some things can’t be healed by friendship alone. Darkish, mention of child abuse.

Midnight Blue Serenity by BeautifulFiction: Sherlock investigates undercover at a club ot catch a serial killer. What John sees and learns during this investigation has him fall head over heels for his flatmate - but will Sherlock reciprocate his feelings? Or, even worse, will the murderer get him before John has a chance to make his confession?

The Other Man by ampersand_ch: Mature friends-to-lovers story. Not happy go lucky but honest and true.

Echoes by corruptedpov: When Sherlock comes back from the dead, he hopes nothing has changed. But John suffered too much to just take him back in. Sherlock’s Asperger doesn’t make it any easier. John is very angry and it takes a while and them working through loads of emotional baggage to resume their friendship.

The Case Of The Number Game by EscapistAz: After Sherlock’s return, he and John have not only to deal with rearranging their lives together but also with a gruesome murder case.

The Adventure Of The Silver Scars by tangledblue: Post S3. Mary has shot Sherlock and John has still not got over that. When he finally leaves his wife, it takes some time and talk for him and Sherlock to figure out what they mean to each other. And there’s also a case to solve...

These Hours That Define Us by predictably_unpredictable: Set during and post S3. Sherlock has just been discharged from hospital, not knowing what to expect or what he'll be coming home to. He's convinced himself that he should never see John again for John's well being, believing himself to be a hindrance to him. But when John shows up unexpectedly to 221B in the middle of the day hoping for a place to stay, things take a different turn, forcing them both to confront their past and their future.

The Virgin by charlieeanne: Anyone who knew Sherlock could never imagine him being in a relationship. However, as John and Sherlock grow closer, John begins to realise his partner’s aversion to relationships and sex may not be as he first assumed. Psychological trauma and mentions of past abuse.

The Thing Is by TSylvestris: The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Epic story.

Trying To Find The In-Between by NoStraightLine: How Sherlock Holmes and John Watson fall in love - against all odds. Classic.

221Behave - 31 Days OTP Challenge by NerdyMind: This casefic follows Sherlock and John as they grow from friends to lovers with the help of supportive and nosy friends. They have sexy times. They have really tough bad times. But they come out on top with a new family and a happy future.

Safe Distance by merripestin: The mother was apparently poisoned, the son seems to have killed himself playing Russian roulette. It's a murder and a suicide. Or is it a suicide and a murder? At least the case is distracting John from the fact that sex with Sherlock was probably a mistake right from the start.John will learn to cope, one way or another.

Thirst by bittergreens: When John realizes he has feelings for Sherlock and decides he must keep those feelings secret at all costs, the resulting tension might bring Baker Street to the ground.

The Proof Of Sentiment by crimsonwinter: Taking place a year after their first anniversary, John and Sherlock play the complicated 'game' of attraction, which explores their unnamed relationship and Sherlock's fluid sexuality (or lack thereof). Will they ever cut the veil and become the couple everyone assumes they are?...Yes, the answer is yes. They will.

Mind The Gap by sweetcupandcakes: An introspective journey through the life and relationships of Sherlock Holmes. TW for child abuse.

Say You’ll Stay With Me by justacookieofacumberbatch: It was just supposed to be an ordinary business trip, but when John's car stalls out on Hollywood Boulevard, he meets someone who just might change his life.Hollywood AU, prostitution.

To The Sticking Place by blueink3: Actor AU, John and Sherlock stage Macbeth. God, I love this story.

Sharp Bits And Safe Paths by midgetnazgul: John learns Sherlock sacrificed much more than he ever could have believed in his time away. Rape Recovery.

A Very Long Acquaintance by Kate_Lear: The story of a meeting, a separation, and a reunion. (A little cmbyn-ish...)

Aplomb by FivePips: Balletlock. TW eating disorder.

Knealing by ianavi: Going on one's knees can mean many things. Anxious as a child, awkward at university, self-harming and escaping into drugs - this AU Sherlock is not a detective, does not deduce crime scenes, never meets a man called Moriarty. No need when the enemy, your very own Moriarty, is all in your head...

#johnlock #fic rec #longer fics

815 notes · View notes

addictionrecoveryassistance · 6 years

Text

Rehab Treatment Centers

Contents

Where you live

Connect with drug rehab and alcohol

Addiction center's top 10

Experiencing chronic problems with

Best suits your

Addiction Treatment Center Colorado Contents Alcohol addiction treatment centers Nonprofit organization which 4111 and let's Don't usually work. treatment must Review the top drug rehabs and alcohol addiction treatment centers in Colorado to start your recovery program today. Colorado Inpatient Alcohol and Drug Rehab Centers Colorado, one of the most mountainous states in the U.S., also holds the dubious

Woodcrest residential treatment services are tailored specifically for men. Men turn to substance abuse for different reasons than women, and face different challenges. Participating in men-only group therapy sessions provides a save environment where men can open up freely without distraction. MFI Recovery Center …

Comprehensive drug and alcohol addiction treatment centers directory. Provides a free 24/7 addiction treatment hotline and listings of US drug and alcohol rehab, detox and treatment centers.

Rehabilitation, or rehab, can be used to help a person recover from addictions, injuries, and even physical or mental illnesses. However, drug rehab programs are usually the most common types of rehab. People addicted to drugs often need the additional care and assistance that drug rehab provides.

Cliffside Malibu's exclusive alcohol rehabilitation program and drug rehab center in Malibu, California provides treatment in a private luxurious setting.

BLVD, a drug and alcohol addiction rehab treatment center in California offers rehab treatment programs and alcohol detox treatment to provide lasting recovery.

Addiction treatment, drug rehab, alcohol rehab centers – addiction treatment help and drug rehab guidance. Call us today for free advice

Company Details. About Us · Elements of Treatment · Testimonials · Our Success Rates · In the Media · Newsroom · Careers · Sitemap · Privacy Policy · Photo Disclaimer · Terms of Use …

At Addiction to Sobriety, we have a relationship with top-rated treatment centers nationwide. We can help you to find the right drug rehab for you or your loved one.

Get help from one of the nation's leading Residential Treatment Centers. Timberline Knolls assists women and adolescent girls seeking lasting recovery from Drug Abuse and Addiction and related issues. TK's supportive environment and remarkable success rate attract women from around the U.S. Contact us today at …

Recovery Unplugged utilizes the universal language of music at our Florida drug addiction treatment center to help patients better articulate their emotions and overcome psychological obstacles that inhibit healthy self-discovery. Our creative leadership works closely with our clinical professionals to help patients find their …

Fentanyl Lollipops administer high doses of opiate pain medication (Fentanyl) for opiate resistant patients who need to manage breakthrough pain.

Read about the link between bipolar disorder and addiction, symptoms, treatment and more here. For more information on recovery, contact us today.

See the best drug treatment centers across the nation here. … No matter where you live, there is a drug rehab center that can help you overcome your addiction.

Over 10000 people recovering lives daily through proven addiction rehab programs. With locations in Minnesota, Michigan, Indiana, Ohio, Kentucky, Pennsylvania, Virginia and New Jersey.

Plan treatment with Rehab.com. Find and compare rehabs by addiction, cost, and location. connect with drug rehab and alcohol recovery specialists today.

The Treatment Center is a highly respected drug and alcohol addiction treatment center for teens and adults in need of substance abuse recovery services.

An EAP is a program that you, as the employer, pay for through a health insurer or another third party administrator.

Our alcohol and drug rehab treatment centers in Everett, WA assist people who are seeking alcohol treatment and detox, drug treatment,detox and addiction counseling.

Elite Rehab Placement is a free substance abuse locator service. We represent some of the best rehab treatment centers in the United States.

We offer a road map to finding an inpatient drug rehab center for people struggling with the financial, physical and emotional cost of addiction, .

NO. Naltrexone is not addictive and has no potential for abuse. In fact, naltrexone helps people in recovery from alcoholism or drug addiction. Read more about

Our treatment programs for trauma, … The Right Step family of alcohol and drug rehab treatment centers for substance abuse and co-occurring disorders.

Holistic Treatment Centers – Find the Best Drug and Alcohol Rehab Centers !

17 Responses to ADHD is widely misunderstood, even by many professionals in healthcare and education

Feb 27, 2018 … Start your day with the news you need from the Bay Area and beyond. Sign up for our new Morning Report weekday newsletter. LOS ANGELES — A self-dubbed “ Rehab Mogul” who operated more than 13 drug treatment centers in Southern California was convicted Monday of rape and drug dealing. In all …

home: residential treatment centres: Ontario residential treatment centres: Ontario residential treatment centres pages: [A-Ot] Drug Rehab Alternative Program An alternative Drug Rehab Program to conventional Drug and Alcohol Rehab Treatment Centers.

Promises drug addiction & alcoholism treatment centers in Malibu, Los Angeles & Austin can help get you clean & sober. Receive a confidential assessment now.

Dakota Treatment Center – Find the Best Drug and Alcohol Rehab Centers !

Nov 29, 2017 … Finding a top treatment center for a drug addiction is one of the best steps toward a successful recovery. The best treatment centers have an experienced staff and high rates of success in treating those in recovery. Below is a list of addiction center's top 10 drug rehabilitation facilities in the United States.

Drug And Treatment Centers : The Best Rehabs for 2018. Get Discounts at Best Rehab Centers! [ Drug And Treatment Centers ] !!!

Learn what drug addiction is, the signs, risk factors and more in this article. If you or a loved one is struggling with a drug addiction, call us today.

Read about the link between bipolar disorder and addiction, symptoms, treatment and more here. For more information on recovery, contact us today.

Mar 20, 2018 … The first step in recovery is often the hardest. We make it easier, with our free service that can find rehab treatment facilities that are right for you.

Addiction Treatment Centers In South Florida Contents Contents many drug users West palm beach Detox and more Provide clients with South Florida Recovery Center is a partial hospitalization (PHP) treatment center designed to provide in-depth treatment for clients experiencing chronic problems with alcohol, drugs and other problems. The goals of the program are to provide information to our clients about the Crystal Meth Detox At Home Contents Detox from his Meth damage today. start Into the experience under Beyonces Detox Diet Crystal Meth Detox At Home Natural Herbs Beyonces Detox Diet Top Detox Diets A Detox Diet Plan How Long Until Alcohol Detox Is Over How Does Detoxing Work You might think that what the easiest way to food? Jun 18,

At our drug and alcohol addiction treatment center, our goal is to make sure that anyone who needs treatment from drug and alcohol addiction are able to get the help needed to assist them on the road to recovery. If you don't have insurance contact us to inquire about alternate methods regarding treatment for yourself or a …

Selecting a top rehab isn't a decision to be arrived at lightly and, furthermore, shouldn't be restricted by how close to home a particular facility is. If travel is an option, and you're looking for the best rehab center anywhere, here is a list of top rated drug and alcohol treatment facilities—a best of the best from across the country …

Looking for dog or puppy training in Indiana? We have partnered with Julie Case, she is a certified master dog trainer to offer you all levels of dog training from family companion to therapy & service dogs.

Aid in Recovery is here to help you overcome addiction once and for all. We develop individualized treatment plans that ensure your stable long-term recovery.

Choosing a drug and alcohol rehab facility is a key first step in recovery. Learn more about treatment centers and how to find the right one for you or a loved one.

Evidence-based, individualized drug and alcohol addiction treatment and rehabilitation services. Specializing in heroin, opioids and alcohol addiction treatment, we have inpatient and outpatient rehab locations in Maryland, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and Massachusetts, and Delaware.

Rehabilitation, or rehab, can be used to help a person recover from addictions, injuries, and even physical or mental illnesses. However, drug rehab programs

Find drug and alcohol treatment center ratings and reviews, addiction statistics and information about drugs of abuse. Use our treatment facility locator to find drug and alcohol rehab programs near you.

Various types of programs offer help in drug rehabilitation, including: residential treatment (in-patient/ out-patient), local support groups, extended care centers, recovery or sober houses, addiction counselling, mental health, and medical care . Some rehab centers offer age- and gender-specific programs. In a survey of …

Addiction Treatment No Insurance Contents Many drug users aren't getting the Alcohol rehab centers Cash pay fees Survey carried … unlike Within the provider network Choice !!! opiate Review the top rated drug rehabs and alcohol addiction treatment centers in Georgia … Top Georgia Addiction Recovery Centers: … payment through any insurance plan … Drug Addiction Treatment No Insurance,

These individuals may not know that there are options for them. Free rehab centers and public assistance for rehab do exist. Just a little effort can bring opportunities to detox and enter recovery with little or no cost to the individual. There are also opportunities to defray the cost of treatment or to have it covered by another …

Treatment Centers : The Best Rehabs for 2018. Get Discounts at Best Rehab Centers! [ Treatment Centers ] !!!

NO. Naltrexone is not addictive and has no potential for abuse. In fact, naltrexone helps people in recovery from alcoholism or drug addiction. Read more about

Men's only drug and alcohol rehab center in Arizona. Addiction treatment services include: detox, intensive outpatient, and residential programs.

Individualized Treatment Programs. … We take an in-depth look at your situation to find you the rehab center that best suits your needs and demands.

The post Rehab Treatment Centers appeared first on A.R.T. Group.

0 notes

ouraidengray4 · 7 years

Text

67 Resources for Sexual Assault Survivors Who Aren't Sure Where to Turn

Sexual trauma is easier to cope with when you have support, just like a broken bone is easier to set with a cast. We’ve compiled a list of resources for sexual assault survivors, ranging from online group counseling to books, retreats, and peer support. This list includes resources for women, men, young adults, children, disabled, trans, non-binary, and LGBTQIA+ survivors, as well as survivors of color. Many of the websites linked here also have their own lists of resources, so you can find even more options with just a few clicks.

Avoidance, one of the most common manifestations of PTSD, often makes it difficult for many patients to tackle their trauma head-on, particularly if the trauma is acute or recent. But as daunting as it may be to pick up the phone and call a hotline, inquire about group therapy, or attend a trauma-informed yoga class, taking an active role in your recovery will be the best and most empowering thing you can do for yourself.

Hotlines and Call Centers

Anti-Violence Project 212-714-1141

The Anti-Violence Project (AVP) offers free, bilingual (English/Spanish), 24-hour, 365-day-a-year crisis intervention and support to LGBTQ and HIV-affected survivors of any type of violence, as well as to those who love and support survivors, including those who have lost a loved one to violence. Callers receive immediate crisis counseling and safety planning, as well as access to ongoing counseling, advocacy, and onsite legal services. AVP may also be able to accompany you to court or to the police.

ChildHelp 1-800-422-4453

ChildHelp runs the National Child Abuse Helpline, and they can be reached 24/7. They talk to people of all ages who have experienced parental abuse and can help you report instances of child abuse. They also provide resources for prevention, intervention, and treatment.

Darkness to Light 1-866-FOR-LIGHT (866-367-5444)

Darkness to Light offers local information and resources about sexual abuse. You can also text ‘LIGHT’ to 741741 for crisis support with a trained counselor. These services are 24/7, free of charge, confidential, and will be answered by a trained information and referral representative. Helpline availability varies according to state and call center. Darkness to Light also has resources for reporting child sex abuse and human trafficking.

Day One 800.214.4150

If you’re 24 years old or younger and have experienced sexual trauma and/or domestic violence, you can call Day One’s free and confidential hotline, available in English and Spanish, or text 646-535-3291 to ask for help and resources. They provide additional services for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender/gender non-conforming, queer, and questioning youth who are struggling with intimate partner abuse, as well as legal services.

If you live in New York, you can also use Day One's Direct Services Program, which provides free and confidential counseling, case management, and legal advice, information, and direct representation.

loveisrespect 1-866-331-9474

Loveisrespect is a project of the National Domestic Violence Hotline and Break the Cycle, and is a fantastic resource for advice and info on healthy dating. Its mission is to empower youth and young adults to prevent and end abusive relationships. Peer advocates can be reached 24/7 via phone, online chat, or text (“loveis” to 22522). They offer help for safety planning, support systems, self-care, abuse on campus, calling the police, documenting abuse, and obtaining a restraining order. They offer guidance for LGBTQ survivors and undocumented survivors as well.

The National Center for Victims of Crime 1-855-4VICTIM (1-855-484-2846)

The center’s VictimConnect Resource Center is a place for victims of any crime nationwide to learn about their rights and seek out resources, including legal aid, advocacy, and treatment.

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233

The National Domestic violence hotline is free, confidential, and available 24/7/365 in English and Spanish. On the website, there’s a chat function that’s also available all day, every day, as well as a wealth of resources with info for state coalitions, counseling services, shelters, and legal aid. There’s also a library of articles about healthy relationships, boundaries, recognizing abuse, and talking to teens about domestic violence.

RAINN 800.656.HOPE (4673)

RAINN, the Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network, is the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline, which is free, confidential, and available 24/7/365 in English and Spanish. RAINN works in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country and operates the DoD Safe Helpline for the Department of Defense.

RAINN also carries out programs to prevent sexual violence, help survivors, and help bring perpetrators to justice. You can call RAINN for guidance and resources in crisis (though call 911 if it’s an emergency), after recent sexual trauma, or to talk about sexual trauma that happened long ago. They can help you find support groups, group therapy, individual counselors, legal aid, emergency shelter, medical attention/accompaniment, crime victim assistance advocacy, and a number of other services in your area. You can also chat online with a counselor at hotline.rainn.org.

Safe Horizon 1-800-621-HOPE (4673)

Safe Horizon has a free, 24/7/365, confidential national hotline in English and Spanish for domestic violence survivors; rape, incest, abuse, and sexual assault survivors; and victims of other violent crimes. Counselors are available to talk about your situation (whether it’s recent or not), as well as help you figure out the next steps, whether that’s in the form of counseling, legal aid, safety planning, or finding a shelter. They can also help you find in-person counseling, group therapy, legal aid, and other resources, and if you are based in New York, you can receive in-person services at their offices in Brooklyn and Harlem, by appointment.

Shelters, Counseling, and Support Resources

Abused Deaf Women’s Services

The Abused Deaf Women's Services (ADWAS) community links page offers a good list of services and centers all over the country to help deaf and/or deaf-blind people who have experienced abuse, as well as information about domestic violence, abuse, and recovery, as well as inspiring survivor stories.

ADWAS is based in Seattle, Washington, and if you’re a local, you can attend the center for all kinds of services, including short-term crisis counseling, ongoing individual/family therapy related to domestic violence and sexual assault, group counseling related to childhood sexual assault and domestic violence, psychosocial assessments and evaluation of sexual abuse of children, client advocacy and referrals. They also have a local crisis video call hotline, 24/7/365, which you can reach at 1-(206) 812-1001 or via email at [email protected].

Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies

You can search for a qualified cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) provider, an evidence-based method for treating PTSD, using their search engine, which can help you find someone in your area. The website also has great information on these therapeutic approaches, so you can learn more about treatments that might appeal to you.

Domestic Shelters

Domestic Shelters may be the most comprehensive database for folks seeking shelter from domestic violence. They’ve verified information on shelters and domestic violence programs across the country. This free service can help if you or a friend is suffering from physical, emotional, psychological, or verbal abuse. They can help you find domestic violence programs based on your location, service, and language needs.

Other services include "24-hour hotlines, service listings, and helpful articles on domestic violence statistics, signs and cycles of abuse, housing services, emergency services, legal and financial services, support groups for women, children and families, and more."

National Center for PTSD

This is a web resource with excellent information on PTSD, including the most effective treatments and what they entail. Although it’s geared toward veterans, you don’t need to be a vet to use it.

National Organization of Sisters of Color Ending Sexual Assault

SCESA has an excellent resources page for women of color looking for treatment centers and organizations dedicated to serving sexual assault survivors near them. The site also offers music, film, and book recommendations. SCESA is an advocacy organization working on policy change, collaboration with other social justice movements, community awareness, and a number of other advocacy tactics.

Psychology Today

You can use the Psychology Today support group search to find sexual trauma support group therapy near you.

Tiwahe Glu Kini Pi

This is a mental, emotional, and spiritual health resource center for the Lakota nation, particularly for men, women, and children who have experienced trauma. They offer a number of different programs and services in service of Lakota traditions and wellness.

The Breathe Network

The Breathe Network connects sexual trauma survivors to practitioners who offer sliding-scale, trauma-informed, holistic healing arts and support, including acupuncture; massage and cranial-sacral massage; somatic therapy; sound healing; yoga, hypnotherapy; dance, art, music, and color therapy; feng shui; Rolfing; and EMDR.

They offer a range of information for survivors of sexual violence related to understanding how the holistic healing arts can facilitate healing. They also have a helpful list of emergency resources available both over the phone and online, as well as recommended organizations and books for those pursuing alternative healing arts to complement their trauma recovery. These resources also benefit those who support survivors, whether as friends and family, or as healing arts practitioners.

Somatic Therapies

SomaticExperiencing Trauma Institute

This site is a great resource for evidence-based studies about how trauma affects the brain and body, and for information on somatic (body-centered) therapy approaches to recovery. You can also use their directory to find somatic therapists specializing in trauma recovery.

Trauma Center at Justice Resource Institute

Founder and medical director of the Trauma Center at Justice Resource Institute, Bessel van der Kolk, is an internationally recognized researcher and practitioner of somatic-based therapy for trauma survivors. The center offers a number of outpatient medical services for clients seeking therapeutic treatment.

If you’re not in MA, you can use their directory to search out a somatic therapy provider near you. The Trauma Center’s website also has a treasure trove of trauma and somatic-approach recovery research and offers somatic therapy trainings for therapists, counselors, healers, and yoga teachers.

Trauma-Informed/Trauma-Sensitive Yoga

Exhale to Inhale

Exhale to Inhale empowers those affected by domestic violence and sexual assault to transform their lives. ETI employs the healing practice of trauma-informed yoga to empower survivors while helping communities develop skills and knowledge to support them. Exhale to Inhale provides free weekly yoga classes at domestic violence shelters and community centers in NY, CT, and LA. They also offer trauma-informed yoga teacher training.

Transcending Sexual Trauma Through Yoga

Zabie Yamasaki, founder of this organization, offers private and group yoga classes for sexual trauma survivors; an eight-week "yoga as healing series for survivors of sexual trauma," which can be done in-person or online; as well as trauma-informed yoga teacher training.

She is also known for her intensive and loving retreats, which are held all over the country. Her website has very helpful information about mindfulness, self-care, integration, and what exactly trauma-informed yoga is about and how it can help. Yamasaki’s Instagram is full of book recommendations, tips, and quotes for transcending trauma.

Trauma Center Trauma-Sensitive Yoga

This is David Emerson’s center for trauma-sensitive yoga, and the website offers a search function to help you find certified trauma-sensitive yoga facilitators worldwide. There are also links to resources, books, and research on this method of trauma treatment. TCTSY also offers trainings and a number of other events and workshops.

Animal Therapy for Trauma Survivors

Assistance Dogs International

Assistance Dogs International is a coalition of nonprofit assistance dog organizations that help individuals find a dog to match their needs.

Alliance of Therapy Dogs

Alliance of Therapy Dogs is a national therapy dog registry and can assist those in certifying their potential therapy dog.

EQUUSOMA Equine Facilitated Trauma Therapy

If you like horses, even if you’ve never touched one, this might be an interesting approach to take. (If nothing else, you get to hang out with a horse, after all). Inspired by the far-reaching branches of Dr. Peter Levine’s approach to somatic therapy and trauma recovery, EQUUSOMA works with human clients in equine-facilitated interventions to guide equine-based activities and facilitator interactions so that they don’t inadvertently overwhelm or retraumatize clients.

Horses have a complex nervous system, much like humans, and are very sensitive to their human partners, so working with horses allows the participants to be more aware of both their reactions and the horse’s. The idea is to stay with the experience; care for yourself and the animal; and integrate that compassion, healing, and self-awareness.

Freedom Farm Therapeutic Riding Center

While Freedom Farm doesn’t have a program specific to sexual trauma survivors, they have therapeutic riding programs. "Freedom Farm enriches lives by partnering with the unique attributes of the horse to improve mobility, build confidence, and encourage personal growth in children and adults with physical, mental and emotional challenges."

Pawsitivity

Pawsitivity is a nonprofit organization dedicated to rescuing dogs and training them as service dogs for people with PTSD and other conditions.

SheHerdPower Foundation

The SheHerdPower Foundation is dedicated to providing free equine-guided empowerment services to women survivors of sexual trauma. The programs are weekend-long experiences in which "participants engage in a variety of personal development and somatic empowerment experiences as a group, which includes on-the-ground immersion with horses. While the process occurs in a group setting, personal disclosure is not a requirement, and the process is highly supportive of personal evolution and growth."

Survivor Art and Art Therapy Sites

Art Therapy Blog

Art Therapy Blog is full of articles and resources for art therapy for adults and children, and specialized projects and research for a number of audiences, ranging from trauma to autism. If you’re interested in research and projects, you can try these yourself or with a counselor, therapist, or group.

Last Battle

Founded by Mary Ellen Mann, author of From Pain to Power: Overcoming Sexual Trauma and Reclaiming Your True Identity, Last Battle is a creative space for sexual trauma survivors to share their artwork, stories, and poems in the site’s gallery.

There is also a blog for inspiration and recovery, Mann’s keynote speeches and talks, and a page of "ideas for living well" filled with advice for advocacy, recovery, and support. The site has a Christian slant and uses the metaphor of the princess warrior to explore recovery, and also includes exercises and articles on meditation and women’s empowerment.

Online Chat and Online Peer Support

1in6

1in6 is a resource for men who have experienced unwanted or abusive sexual experiences. They offer recovery information for men, men’s stories of trauma and recovery, 24/7/365 online chat support with trained advocates through their website, and anonymous online support groups facilitated by a professional counselor. Support groups meet every Monday and Wednesday.

Forge (Trans)

Forge is a Milwaukee-based organization dedicated to advocating for and protecting the lives of transgender/non-binary people and their loved ones. If you are a trans survivor of sexual violence, domestic violence, dating violence, stalking, or hate violence, you can email [email protected] or call their hotline at (414) 559-2123 for information, resources, and referrals to providers in your area. Forge’s website also offers a peer support listserv, online Writing to Heal courses, conferences, and workshops.

Male Survivor

Male Survivor is a collection of resources and articles for men who have experienced sexual trauma, as well as a forum for men to discuss trauma and recovery. Resources include a therapist directory to help find therapists who specialize in treating male survivors of sexual trauma; a support group directory; peer support guide; male survivor forum; resources directory; healing events; and the HopeHealingSupport Team, who are available by email to answer any questions survivors may have.

National Sexual Violence Resource Center

The NSVRC offers up-to-date research and resources on sexual-violence recovery, including news, projects, special collections, publications, and a library. They also offer a very helpful database for survivors seeking help in the form of individual or group counseling, support groups, community outreach, advocacy, and more.

"NSVRC enjoys a strong partnership with state, territorial, and tribal anti-sexual assault coalitions and national allied organizations. This online directory highlights those organizations and projects working to eliminate sexual violence." You can search by state to help find resources near you.

Protect Our Defenders

Protect Our Defenders (POD) is the only national organization solely dedicated to ending the epidemic of rape and sexual assault in the military and to combating a culture of pervasive misogyny, sexual harassment, and retribution against victims.

POD supports survivors of military sexual assault and sexual harassment, including service members, veterans, and civilians assaulted by members of the military. Resources include hotlines you can call, applications for free legal services, directories for local services, peer-to-peer support, resource libraries, and forums.

Survivorship: for survivors of ritual abuse, mind-control, and torture

This resource is not a replacement for therapy, but rather an online space for survivors of a very specific kind of sexual abuse or trauma to share and validate their experiences with each other as peers.

Survivorship has yearly conferences and video resources, and for membership access, which costs "$75 down to what you think you can pay," which will provide you with updates every other month with news of the organization, national events, and news articles for survivors. Two times per year, you will receive their journal, which contains many articles, poems, and artwork by survivors, therapists, family or friends of survivors, and other supporters. You will also be able to use the members-only section of the website.

Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests

SNAP is dedicated to supporting survivors who have been abused by priests or other religious figures like nuns, religion teachers, or ministers. The organization is run by volunteers who help survivors find therapists specializing in religious abuse and sexual abuse in their area, as well as assistance in reporting abusers and finding legal aid.

SNAP also has a number of group therapy chapters, and you can use their directory to find one near you. They also have annual conferences for you to check out and a collection of survivors’ stories and related news.

Retreats

Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health

Kripalu (Krih-PAH-loo) is a yoga and healing arts retreat center and school. While Kripalu as a whole is not dedicated to trauma recovery specifically, many of their retreat programs center on healing, depression, anxiety, mindfulness, body-awareness, trauma-informed yoga, self-care, and recovery.

If you don’t want to sign up for a full program, book an R&R retreat that allows you to attend a selection of spirituality talks, concerts and events, and yoga, meditation, and YogaDance classes at your leisure. You can also book massages, energy healing, Ayurvedic consultations, and many other healing sessions. The center is kitted out with great vegetarian food (with a couple of daily meat options), gym, sauna, and beautiful trails, and a labyrinth for walking meditations. Kripalu is located in The Berkshires, in Stockbridge, MA.

Sidhayatan: A Place of Siddhas

Siddhayatan Tirth & Spiritual Retreat is located in Windom, Texas, and offers a number of specialized retreats ranging from stress relief to a PTSD healing retreat. The retreat offers ashram living with home-cooked vegetarian food and lots of lovely nature for you to enjoy, in addition to the program. They use what’s called the Purnam Yoga System, developed by yogi Acharya Shree Yogeesh, which incorporates yoga, meditation, breathing, and spiritual practices meant to help you manage PTSD symptoms in conjunction with your regular therapy and/or medication.

Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence (BTS)

BTS offers an Annual Survivor Sister Retreat for women who are affected by domestic violence. The retreat is an opportunity to immerse yourself in activities, workshops, and classes focused on holistic approaches to healing, as well as to forge friendships and supportive relationships with other survivors.

This retreat best suits women who are not currently in an unhealthy relationship or suicidal. BTS suggests seeking crisis help first, and then attending the retreat when you are in a more stable place to begin a lifelong journey of loving awareness and healing.

The Refuge: A Healing Place

The Refuge offers a Rape-Related Trauma Treatment and Rehab Center for rape and sexual assault survivors. This residential treatment center, located in Florida, offers a number of therapeutic approaches to healing sexual trauma, including exposure therapy (specifically, recalling painful memories in a safe environment with a professional), interpersonal therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, and intensive family therapy.

Experiential therapy is also a large part of their approach and can include dramatic experiencing, hypnosis, art therapy, a ropes course, equine therapy, creative expression, group sharing, music therapy, and journaling. The Refuge is surrounded by beautiful nature, and in their spare time, clients are welcome to play sports, fish, hike, and enjoy the grounds.

Books

General Texts

Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

If you’ve ever known that a relationship didn’t feel right but you weren’t sure if it was abuse, then this could be helpful for you. Bancroft looks at the many types of abuse and the ways that the victim can be gaslit into thinking that they are somehow responsible or capable of changing the abuser’s behavior. (Amazon)

Writing Ourselves Whole: Using the Power of Your Own Creativity to Recover and Heal from Sexual Trauma by Jen Cross

This is a book of essays, encouragements, exercises, and stories for sexual trauma survivors who "want to risk writing a different story." Geared toward people who would like to write about their experiences without retraumatizing themselves, this book aims to help those who would like to use writing as a joyful and transformative healing tool. (Amazon)

The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety: A Guide to Breaking Free from Anxiety, Phobias, and Worry Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by John P. Forsythe and Georg H. Eifert

Using acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), this workbook will help you move through your anxiety and fear with awareness and without judgment. The book comes with bonus worksheets and guided mindfulness meditations. (Amazon)

Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence—from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror by Judith Herman

Judith Herman’s trauma research, particularly sexual trauma and healing, was groundbreaking when it was new on the scene in the 1990s and has remained relevant and insightful since. This is an excellent tool for understanding the social content of trauma; Herman shows parallels between the trauma of war and the trauma of childhood sexual abuse, and what people need in order to heal. (Amazon)

Shattered Assumptions: Towards a New Psychology of Trauma by Ronnie Janoff-Bulman

This is for the survivor who wants to understand how perceptions about the self, world, and other people are formed after trauma, and how to change them. Think of it as real-life applied psychology. (Amazon)

Surviving a Cyberstalker: How to Prevent and Survive Cyberabuse and Stalking by Alexis Moore

Moore, a survivor of domestic abuse and cyberstalking-turned-leading lawyer and cyberstalking authority, has written this practical guide to help people prevent and escape cyberabuse and cyberstalking. (Amazon)

The Mindful Way Through Anxiety: Break Free from Chronic Worry and Reclaim Your Life by Susan Orsillo and Lizabeth Roemer

This book uses clinically tested mindfulness practices to help readers meet their anxiety with clarity and compassion. There is also a helpful workbook you can purchase separately, and access to audio material through the website. (Amazon)

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall Rosenberg

Whether you’re afraid to tell people how you feel, or you tell people how you feel a little too vehemently, this book is helpful. Rosenberg explores relationships, needs, and practical communication techniques, as well as tips for understanding other people better. Using this guide, you can learn how to speak to yourself and others from a place of love, and how to have clearer and calmer conversations with everyone in your life. (Amazon)

Gender-Specific Books

The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Sexual Abuse by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis

Often referred to as the bible of childhood sexual abuse recovery, this book is a manual of healing, much loved through all of its additions by survivors and therapists alike. The latest editions contain up-to-date research about trauma, healing tools and methodologies, a more diverse array of survivor voices, encouraging check-ins with survivors well into their recovery, and more. (Amazon)

The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships by Harriet Lerner

This very popular guide is meant to help women navigate, process, and express their anger in healthy ways rather than repressing it, as society so often tells women to do. Lerner helps the reader recognize unhealthy relationship patterns, internal and interpersonal emotional patterns, and change them into a happier relationship with one’s self and others. (Amazon)

Victims No Longer: The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse by Mike Lew

This is one of the classic resources for male survivors of sexual abuse, now updated with current research on trauma and recovery, an examination of cultural attitudes toward male sexual abuse and incest survivors, practical and compassionate advice for healing, and personal narratives. (Amazon)

LGBTQIA-Specific Books

Queering Sexual Violence: Radical Voices from Within the Anti-Violence Movement by Jennifer Patterson

This is a collection of racially diverse voices across the gender spectrum from within the anti-violence movement. This book moves beyond dominant narratives of sexual violence and centers the experiences, and spotlights 37 deserving stories of trauma, activism, and empowerment. (Amazon)

The Queer and Transgender Resilience Workbook: Skills for Navigating Sexual Orientation and Gender Expression by Anneliese Singh

This workbook offers advice and exercises for the LGBTQI+ reader to work through the trauma of discrimination, violence/sexual violence, loss, family rejection, and more, and find healing, resilience, and confidence within themselves. (Amazon)

PoC-Specific Books

The Beginning and End of Rape: Confronting Sexual Violence in Native America by Sarah Deer

If it would be empowering for you to read a searing account of colonialism, how sex trafficking and abuse of Native women continues, and ways for the tribal nations to seek redress, then this is a great book for you. Deer is a powerful activist and writer addressing real, ongoing issues of sexual violence against native women and seeking solutions. (Amazon)

Decolonizing Trauma Work: Indigenous Stories and Strategies by Renee Linklater

By looking at colonization as the first wound, Linklater contextualizes native trauma and speaks with ten indigenous healthcare practitioners to discuss indigenous wellness, mental illness, and recovery. This book is full of practical measures for individuals and communities who have experienced trauma, and draws on indigenous cultural knowledge and worldview to inform ideas of healing, recovery, and wellness. (Amazon)

I Will Survive: The African-American Guide to Healing from Sexual Assault and Abuse by Lori S. Robinson and Julia A. Boyd

This self-help guide is intended as a resource for African-American survivors of sexual assault, offering resources, strategies for coping, prayers from Black spiritual leaders in a variety of traditions, and first-person accounts. (Amazon)

Mejor sola que mal acompañada: para la mujer golpeada / For the Latina in an Abusive Relationship by Myrna M. Zambrano

Zambrano has a lot of experience working in Latin communities and helping Latinas leave domestic violence situations and navigate prejudiced and unsympathetic police, documentation issues, need for translators, how to get to a shelter and protect yourself and your children, and what the church might say. This book is a practical and compassionate guide for surviving and leaving an abusive relationship. (Amazon)

Books About Reclaiming Your Sex Life

The Art of Healing from Sexual Trauma: Tending Body and Soul Through Creativity, Nature, and Intuition by Naomi Ardea

Ardea uses her own experience of childhood sexual trauma and her healing journey as a guide, developing a workbook for readers to experiment with their own healing through journaling, art therapy, exercises, and accessible self-care ideas. (Amazon)

Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Approaching Sexual Trauma by Staci Haines

This is a sex-positive, somatic approach toward sexual abuse and incest recovery, geared toward the reader who is ready to embrace sexual healing and reclaim their sex lives, whether they are single, partnered, heterosexual, or LGBTQ. This book teaches the reader that it’s OK to say "no" to unwanted sex, and "yes" to their own desires and needs, on their own terms. (Amazon)

The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse by Wendy Maltz

This is a classic self-help book for men and women who survived sexual abuse and would like to reclaim their sex lives and sexuality. This book has exercises, advice, and stories to help readers enjoy safe, compassionate, loving sex. (Amazon)

Books About the Somatic Method and Yoga

Embodied Healing: Using Yoga to Recover from Trauma and Extreme Stress by Lisa Danylchuck

Danylchuck connects trauma theory and yogic philosophy and focuses on the foundations of yoga and their applications toward healing rather than just the physical forms of yoga. Reading this, you will also learn more about how the nervous system works and reacts to trauma and stress, and how you can affect the nervous system with breathwork, yoga, and other practices. (Amazon)

Overcoming Trauma through Yoga: Reclaiming Your Body by David Emerson and Elizabeth Hopper

This book explores a somatic approach by using trauma-sensitive yoga techniques to help survivors recover and reconnect with their bodies. Emerson is one of the current leading trauma-sensitive yoga researchers and trainers. (Amazon)

Trauma-Sensitive Yoga in Therapy: Bringing the Body into Treatment by David Emerson

Another great book from Emerson, this one more focused on how to use trauma-sensitive yoga to treat survivors, the research supporting the methods, and how they help. This is particularly useful if you’re the kind of person who wants to take a very informed, active role in your treatment or are considering becoming a trauma-sensitive yoga teacher or provider. (Amazon)

Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Peter A. Levine with Ann Frederick

Dr. Peter Levine, founder of the SomaticExperiencing method of trauma therapy, walks the reader through the research and theories of his methods, as well as plenty of exercises for the reader to try on their own or in a therapeutic setting. Using body-based (somatic) approaches, Dr. Levine normalizes trauma responses and creates exercises to help heal them. (Amazon)

Deep Listening: A Healing Practice to Calm Your Body, Clear Your Mind, and Calm Your Heart by Jillian Pransky

This book, while not specifically for trauma survivors, focuses on how a yoga practice can help heal anxiety and stress using mindfulness, deep relaxation, and compassionate listening. (Amazon)

The Body Keeps Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk

This has become a touchstone text for understanding trauma, its effects on the body, and methodologies of healing. Van der Kolk examines a number of evidence-based treatments for trauma recovery, ranging from expressive therapies to yoga, meditation to sports, all of which activate the brain’s natural neuroplasticity. (Amazon)

from Greatist RSS http://ift.tt/2DFF76J 67 Resources for Sexual Assault Survivors Who Aren't Sure Where to Turn Greatist RSS from HEALTH BUZZ http://ift.tt/2mLoeAn

#Greatist RSS

0 notes

unillustratedadventures · 8 years

Text

How MRAs Disingenuously Exploit the Issues of Emotional and Psychological Abuse

(The following touches, abstractly, on various forms of abuse, including sexual abuse, domestic violence, and violence against women.)

There’s this disingenuous, inauthentic way of approaching a debate, which I suspect actually disqualifies one from being a genuine participant in the debate. One approaches a debate in this broadly toxic way when one’s only goal is to win, and one’s idea of winning is forcing one’s interlocutors to concede by any means necessary; by hurting, undermining, or humiliating one’s interlocutors; or by silencing or sabotaging the debate itself. Of course, this is not the goal of winning the debate, in the sense of actually participating in the debate with sincerity and fair-mindedness, and convincing one’s interlocutors through evidence and argument. It is only winning the debate in the sense of conquering it, controlling it, or subduing it from the outside. It isn’t winning the debate in any literal sense. (This would be a rather unattractive conversational goal anyway, as compared with truth-seeking, for example.) It involves no intention to conform with the terms of the debate. Rather, it is only winning in the more general sense—in a sense that has nothing at all to do with the terms of the debate, and depends entirely on one’s own mean-spirited and self-serving intentions.

So-called ‘men’s rights activists’, as well as ‘all lives matter’ types, often seem to approach debates in this toxic way. Their purpose isn’t to cooperate with their interlocutors in order to get closer to the truth. It is not even to assert what they believe, and to have those assertions accepted by their interlocutors. Rather, their purpose is merely to say whatever it takes to silence, undermine, or sabotage the ongoing conversation, whether they believe what they’re saying or not.

The mere act of uttering the sentence ‘all lives matter’ provides a clear example of this. The purpose of uttering this is rarely to assert what the sentence literally says, and to have this assertion accepted. After all, no sane person disagrees with what this sentence literally says. Rather, the typical purpose of uttering 'all lives matter’ is to bulldoze the intended meaning of 'black lives matter’ (based on what I can only assume is a deliberate misinterpretation). The typical purpose is to interfere with and undermine the ongoing conversation about the mistreatment of black lives.

A less obvious example comes from MRAs. Suppose that there’s an ongoing conversation about physical or sexual abuse, along with the special threat that this poses for women, the responsibilities that men have (and frequently dismiss) when it comes to prevention, the structural and cultural influences that increase these threats to women, and so on. It’s likely than an MRA will inject himself into such a conversation, and start talking about psychological and emotional abuse. He might claim that psychological and emotional abuse are just as damaging as physical or sexual abuse; that they can be even more damaging; that psychological and emotional abuse pose just as much of a threat; that the victims of such abuse are not protected by the law, even in an inadequate way; and that, unlike physical and sexual abuse, there is no gender disparity when it comes to emotional and psychological abuse.

Justifiably annoyed, the participants in the original conversation might respond by denying that emotional and psychological abuse are just as damaging, or even more damaging, than physical or sexual abuse. But this would be a bad response, because the relevant claim is true. It is true despite the fact that it was made by the MRA for ignoble reasons. Emotional and psychological abuse often cannot be easily seen, and are administered over time rather than in isolated, observable events. Moreover, their effects can be difficult to observe in the short-term. For these reasons, it is easier to deny one’s emotional and psychological abuses, it is easier to ignore emotional and psychological abuse, and it is practically impossible to deal with such abuse by legal means, even in an inadequate way (as is so often the case with the physical and sexual abuse of women). Nevertheless, the major part of the trauma that victims of domestic violence or date rape experience comes from the emotionally abusive component. Moreover, it is well-established that purely emotional and psychological abuse can have very similar effects to physical or sexual abuse, as well as additional adverse effects all their own. Lastly, in many cases, the trauma and mental illnesses that are caused by purely emotional and psychological abuse are, indeed, damaging in a far deeper and more long-lasting way.

An even better response is to point out that the MRA’s claims do not actually serve his agenda at all. It is true that psychological and emotional abuse do not involve the same gender disparity as physical and sexual abuse, but only in the restricted sense that men fail to have the physical advantage over women when it comes to these forms of abuse. The MRA acts as though this implies that men are just as abused as women, and just as threatened by abuse as women. But this simply doesn’t follow. In fact, it also looks to be empirically false. Even though men do not enjoy the physical advantage when it comes to emotional and psychological abuse, they still appear to be the more frequent perpetrators of these kinds of abuse. Even if, for the sake of argument, we assume that there are equally as many male psychological and emotional abusers as female ones (to reflect the lack of an advantage), women would still be more frequently abused than men because of the increased incidents of the physical and sexual abuse of women (by men). As many have argued, the greater likelihood that a man will abuse a woman physically or sexually is almost certainly not just the result of increased opportunity, due to physical advantage. The fact that men appear to emotionally and psychologically abuse women more than women do this to men is one indication of this. It is also plausible that structural and cultural factors are in place which further bias men towards abusing women.

In any case, the best response of all is probably to point out that the MRA’s claims are non-sequiturs. They are simply irrelevant. The topic of the ongoing conversation was the physical or sexual abuse of women. Somehow, the MRA felt threatened by this topic of conversation, and injected himself into the conversation with the primary purpose of undermining that conversation, or silencing it. Notice that his claims cannot be intended as earnest contributions to the ongoing discussion. Instead, he wants his claims to invalidate the conversation as a whole (even though he will most likely fail). His claims are irrelevant to the ongoing conversation because they are about emotional and psychological abuse in general, and not about the physical or sexual abuse of women in particular, even though no semantic link has been established between these different topics. But then the MRA’s claims were never intended to be contributions to the ongoing conversation. They were not even intended to expand the topic of this conversation. Rather, they were merely intended as conversation-stoppers. The MRA’s claims speak only to his own personal reasons for having been threatened by the content of the original conversation, and are not intended to engage with this content in any meaningful way. The MRA approaches the ongoing conversation in the same toxic manner as the 'all lives matter’ folk. He injects himself, not to take part in the ongoing conversation, but to silence the conversation, sabotage the conversation, and undermine the conversation and its participants.

0 notes