#it's like i woke up one weekend
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#anyways hand kink#this was the concept right? bc what other explanation.....#chae hyungwon#hyungwon#monsta x#i don't even know how i ended up posting him on here#i don't even know how this all happened#it's like i woke up one weekend#and here we are#doing this now#that first shot is one of my favourite shots#crazy that he doesn't do this professionally as his full time job tbh#i looked up that necklace#and wanted it
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I love the sims 2 because it will completely wreck your shit right when you’re least expecting it
#i’ll set the scene for you: i’m doing the prosperity challenge (basically a challenge where you create a number of completely randomised#families and you play them in rotation. rules vary but generally the goal is to make all your sims as successful as possible#and it’s meant to add some variety and drama to the game)#so i’ve played through the first four families which were all some variation of either grandparents or teenagers looking after kids#just because that’s how my rolls fell. so i got to the last house which was just one adult man and i was like okay.#i JUST need an heir out of him. just ONE. and things were going great! he already had a boyfriend (the random uncle of the first family#i played realllly liked him and i was like ‘this might as well happen’) so i had them try for baby. then his dream job (slacker lol)#came up in the newspaper on the FIRST DAY and he kept getting promoted! i also had him adopt a stray dog i thought was cute#his pregnancy went unbelievably well. he only passed out while eating one time. i allowed myself to be lulled into a false sense of security#and then mans ✨WOKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND GAVE BIRTH TO QUADRUPLETS✨#look this is honestly on me for downloading the triplets and quads mod. i don’t even know why i do it. just for the risk factor?#regardless there was only a 3% chance for this and yet it STILL happened. on the first birth in the neighbourhood no less!!!!!#bear in mind this man is living in a 2 bedroom starter home; has one paycheque (GROCERY STORE CLERK) AND he’s just spent a bunch of money#on his new dog. and we can’t exactly sell the dog’s stuff because it’s essentials#i managed to find the money for 4 cribs and a nanny fucking Somehow. and then carnage ensued#i don’t think this man bathed for 3 days. i got the dog a job and then realised it got weekends off so wouldn’t be going#aging them all up into toddlers aged ME. i think they’re technically classified as some being a day older than the others but idc#i’ll rectify it at the next birthday. or at one of their birthdays anyway#it was just SO messy. next rotation should be better though??? i had him marry the kids’ other father (who is an elder so will probably be#around approximately 5 minutes) who bought in exactly £5 but at least there’s an extra person to change diapers and get bottles#i see a lot of nannies in these kids’ future i fear#personal
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i decided to stay home today because i felt terrible but was positive i would get up and start the day
five hours later i am still in bed feeling terrible
today was supposed to be at least an okay today: therapy and in the evening a concert
#i need to whine for a bit and i can't bother my mother#so ignore me#i've been having nearly non-stop headaches for 2 months at this point#during the weekends it's usually ok even if i am so exhausted i can barely move#but during the week if i don't wake up with a headache i will have one by noon and chance are i go to sleep with them#like last night#and today i woke up with a headache as well#just one more week and then i have one week off#i really should not fall into the trap of making any plans aside from relaxing and housework#no sewing no socializing no day trips just regaining some energy for my internship in april#i can function for school and ive gotten used to the headaches to the point that a day with none feels weird but i'm at my limit#meins
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Thank goodness for rain.
#somehow woke up at 7 and just laid there for 2 hours enjoying the sound#(mildly concerned that i fell asleep at almost 3 and somehow still woke up that early but we vibe i guess)#no one may judge me for not getting out this weekend#i am going to sit here and drink my coffee and play some original re1#and also the trees and grass are green and not likely to catch on fire#it’s late may and the AC barely has to run what a gift
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UGH.
#went on my first real work trip in FOUR YEARS yesterday. had one meeting.#woke up this morning and was getting ready for a day of stuff with another one tomorrow#only to find out that one of the only five other people in the wednesday meeting just tested positive for covid#and another had found out she'd been separately exposed as well#so today turned into doing all my meetings on zoom and rearranging travel plans#and now instead of a professional thing i'd been really looking forward to and then a fun weekend add-on with the fam#i'm flying home late tonight to isolate in our third-floor guest room while boyfriend parents etc.#at least we got credit for his and bébé's last-minute flight cancellations#and we decided to leave the dog with the sitter that had already been arranged to just have one less thing on the collective plate for now#but UGH#and what's extra infuriating is that i am probably fine. i got boosted just a few weeks ago and wasn't like hugging anyone or whatever.#but you just don't know and when there's an actual case it's reason to be actually careful#and i'm just so exhausted and bummed about a lot of things already and had so been looking forward to this whole trip#best laid plans#as they say#anyway cross your fingers for me and the battery of rapid tests i'll be taking this weekend#and in addition to staying negative i'm also very concerned about whether anyone will be comfortable will me at thanksgiving#so that's a whole other thing#UGHHHHHHH#fucking#coronavirus
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I see so many posts about cats being dumb that I honestly question if the countless cats I've been around my whole life are/were real or not. I've only ever met one dumb cat. Every single other one would win at chess if their far superior brain, geared towards bigger achievements, could spare time to comprehend the rules.
#garrett.text#it's so funny reading those posts#meanwhile cats I know irl (when I had them or who belong to other family members):#one got so pissed off at their owner doing something (can't remember what) that they shat on their bed. on purpose#we know it was on purpose by the way#another one memorized when I woke up for elementary school and would claw at the door to wake me up if it didn't go off#waking me up at 7am on weekends#my sister's cat was a distinguished gentleman who hated people and requested paper toilet bowties#cats would know humans get mad at fighting. so they would wait until everyone was out of the room before slapping each other#if you walked in they'd stop and play it off#one cat figures out door handles#my sister's cat liked watching these lines of bugs that would crawl on one specific floor spot in the bathroom#sister got a new cat#so he would walk this new kitten over to the bathroom to show off the bugs every day#my friend's cat came up with different meows for different treats. and would use them when asking for it#another cat figured out out to open drawers so she could sleep peacefully in there away from the light and noise#and don't get me started on the Stealth 100 stealing foor from your plate if you tilted your head away and running off before you noticed it#cats are so smart#ngl I started this post for fun#but the more I write#the more I hate the cats are stupid meme trend omg I neep to go to sleep
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looking up info on keloid scarring is so helpful. thanks man I didn't think of trying that one
#well actually that kind of is relevant bc ive been trying to find more info abt tattooing keloid prone skin#which is effectively opting to wound urself. but everywhere is just like if ur keloid prone ummm. Don't do it 👍#theres not enough known abt keloids to predict if theyll be triggered or not by the healing process like it depends on so many things#i mostly get them from acne scars. but they dont always immediately appear sometimes its weeks or months after#n once u get them theyre permanent. treatments for them have a 100% rate of recurrence n will grow back bigger if u try to excise them#and they cant be tattooed over like other scars bc they dont hold ink n the irritation can cause them to get bigger too#it depends a lot on the tattoo artists skill/experience ig like u have to know Exactly how deep ur tattooing + how the wound will heal#bc if healing triggers keloids. well ill just end up with permanent scarring instead theres nothing i can do if it happens#which honestly might still look cool but its unpredictable bc they tend to extend past the original wound. n it wouldnt scar uniformly#urgh. i should probably talk to a gp n an actual tattooist abt it. i could ask to get like a rly small tattoo to test how my skin reacts#pointless thinking abt rn anyway cuz im not gonna get one any time soon i have some other shit to sort before that#but it would be so frustrating if i cant i have so many tattoo ideas i do rly want them.... :-(#ah well whatever.. im just procrastinating doing shit i need to crack on bc i cant spend another entire weekend doing nothing#after a month n a half of being on meds i feel like theyre becoming less effective. my task paralysis n focus is getting worse again :(#like its taking more and more effort its been rly noticeable at work. hoping its just bc of general mental health or poor sleep or smth#and not that im building tolerance or smth bc man. what else can i even do if that happens#this is gonna make me miserable to think abt so lets go do smth else!#at least i woke up feeling tons better today 💪💪💪 storm passed baby#.diaries
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im so fucking mad at myself at my mother at her dead husband at god fucking knows what. "concentrate on yourself" well i cant can i. now more than anything i should and i cant. losing my fucking mind istg
#i wasted the whole fucking weekend because i *had to* come visit her and once i visited i *had to* hang out with my fucking grandfather#watching him cry about grandma and bitch about modern times and the waiter not doing his job because the café was full to bursting#and it took longer than usual to get our coffees so ofc he had to loudly insult him in third person. oh and then he had to bitch about#gay people and women who dont want children too because of he did. and i sat there and listened to it because i HAD TO#wasted four fucking hours. and then i HAD TO go to the theatre with my mom because she got us tickets because she wanted this#to be a nice day for me but i dont have fucking time to have nice days rn but in order for HER to have a nice day i need to at least pretend#i am having one. so i wasted another almost two hours on that play#which was some modern uselessly loud to the point of being physically painful bullshit bad enough that we left mid-show#and then i had to go meet with her friends so lost another two hours and by the time i got home to write that bullshit thesis it was 11pm#and i barely got anything done till 1 am because i went through another stupid little mental breakdown and then it was almost 6 am#and i had to stop because i had a train at 8 and i already only slept like 3 hours that day#and then i got home yesterday totally fucking exhausted and i started reading stuff for the thesis but i was falling asleep so i laid down#'for 10 minutes' and i woke up today at 6. not having written a word lol#and now i could just say fuck it and defend it in september and it would make my life so much easier. but my voice teacher wants me#to get accepted for the masters degree even if im already planning to get the deans leave for the first semester so like. god.#i cant do this lol#i know i should have started earlier but i was kinda busy losing my fucking mind and lying in bed staring at the ceiling for hours#and contemplating dropping out completely lol god i hate my life so much it's unreal
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Man getting old sucks. You finally get to the point where you want to do shit like deep clean the bathroom and you're looking forward to the day when you'll finally have time to get it done and then once you do finally get a chance to do it you throw your back out cleaning the tub. A cruel irony from whoever is in charge of my spine
#i got this new scrubber brush set and i was SO excited to use it#it has three detachable brush heads. one thats bristled for getting in between grout/cracks#one thats kinda like a scouring pad for cleaning off soap scum#and one thats just a regular sponge for polishing the shiny bits#it finally came in and i was rly excited to get to use it but i just had to wait until i had time#finally had time this weekend and i had a fucking BLAST. our tub/shower has probably never been so clean#im really glad i got to do that and i feel really proud of how good it looks#but now this morning i woke up with severe back pain and ibuprofen is only helping slightly ;-;#almost called in to work it was so bad but i think i can sit at my desk with a heating pad#ive got a chiropractor appointment today tho (had to reschedule my last one) so hopefully thatll help#just sucks that now that i finally WANT to clean my body can no longer handle it as well lol...#start out being able to clean but not wanting to and end up wanting to clean but not being able to 😔#rambling
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waking up to a bleeding nose and bleeding everywhere like it's some kind of horror film.... if horror films even existed in Victorian times that is...
"Fuckin' hell...."
#tw blood mention#(?#[saying 'bloody hell' instead would have been too much of a IRONy... heheee...... i'll show myself out]#[and in case you're wondering: yes it's based on a real story. that of myself this morning orz]#[just with the difference that i woke up in time to bleed tf out in my hand for no apparent reason and then feel like death afterwards lol]#[i have no idea wtf happened but ehh. shit happens i guess]#[anywayssss. hi everyone~]#[some replies will be happening shortly unless my OS crashes down on me or something]#[i also see new followers and new mutuals around... 👀]#[lets have our blorbos meet and interact anytime if you feel like it! <3]#[hope everyone had a lovely weekend and that this new week is a wonderful one! <3]#;ic
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💜😊
#last night i ended up having a slumber party with some friends and yoooo#i didnt realize how much i needed this#the girl talk need and just staying in watching movies and eating junk food#😂 deadass watching Barbie movies while doing hookah for the first time AND going on about our kinks was so unhinged and fun#we also filmed our own version of a taylor swift music video#i felt like i was in middle school hanging out on a weekend night again#borrowed my friends pjs and ended up drifting off to sleep to The Princess Diaries series#truly childhood coded in the best way#like there are some days i feel i dont fit in as much with girls bc i dont know how to do my makeup and have little exp with sex or dating#so being in an environment where i could talk about that without feeling like i was a joke was so important you have no jdea#my friend walked by at one point and i slightly woke up so she lightly touched my hand and asked if i needed anything#like water or more blankets or some food#and i instantly felt like a child again in the best possible way#inner child healing coded fr#personal
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I feel like I’ve lived through at least a month just in the past 3 days. I checked the date just now and damn near had an out of body experience when I realised Monday was only two days ago
#bro the absolute sodding emotional rollercoaster i have been through this past week should be studied by scientists#thursday: unsuccessful job interview. friday: found out that the job interview was unsuccessful. but one of the interviewers (actually a#former colleague of mine lol) gave me a piece of feedback that made me feel like i’d cracked the code for all future interviews#it was this: keep. talking. give as many details as humanly fucking possible. talk about policy. drop in words like safeguarding#list as many examples of stuff as you can. tell stories. bamboozle them#OH i forgot to even fucking mention we had builders at our house until friday. friday was the last day they woke me up with a cacophony#so the weekend was uneventful aside from there was a skip in the driveway and scaffolding all down the side of the house but zero men#monday: successful interview. found out it was successful 5 hours later. got off the phone having accepted the job…… and found a text from#my old boss (the boss i had at the job i really enjoyed. that old boss) inviting me to come back this summer#i had a bit of a mental breakdown but eventually decided to stick with the job i’d just got because it’s a permanent contract and they will#let me sit down#yesterday: found out that the foster doggy i applied for and really wanted is going to her forever home on thursday (which is now tomorrow)#obviously i love this for her but i was like ‘damn. okay’#today: the foster co-ordinator was like ‘hey do you want to foster this rambunctious 3 year old unneutered terrier?’#i was like ‘sure yeah what the fuck. that might as well happen’#(they are neutering him beforehand. and he looks really cute. he’s not aggressive he’s just a young terrier with like 3 brain cells)#unless something finally kills me in the meantime i’m picking him up on monday. i cancelled therapy in order to do this. yes i’m well aware#that there’s a metaphor somewhere in there but it’s fine. i rescheduled therapy#i also have realised i do not know how and when i’m going to get my ssri prescription renewed… i know the pharmacy will call me in a couple#of weeks to make sure i haven’t died. but i think i was supposed to get a prescription renewal at therapy#the therapy i won’t be going to until like 5 days after my prescription runs out. that therapy. foook#honestly withdrawal symptoms would probably just spice up the situation at this point. they’d just make things interesting#i swear to god everything always gets crazy and stupid right before my birthday… remember when i turned 26 and couldn’t drink because i#was on antibiotics for a kidney infection. and when i turned 27 and one of my wisdom teeth tried to emerge#this is like that except with dogs and jobs. at least the skip and the scaffolding are gone now#i AM trying to sell a sofa on facebook marketplace so wish me luck with that ig#personal
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god this SUCCCKKKS i'm trying so hard not to be negative and look on the bright side but there like. is no bright side lol. i am angy
#she bork#tbd#idk like i said yesterday this position switch sucks and i'm not a fan. no benefits. also i'm mad bc this is supposed to be my weekend off#but i work tomorrow bc technically monday and tuesday were my days off (even though monday was a FUCKING HOLIDAY so no one works) and i#haven't had a weekend off since like the beginning of the month. two weekends ago doesn't count bc i was supposed to work sunday and didn't#go in bc it was MY WEEKEND OFF and no one told me about the schedule change and then when i found out i accidentally no call no showed after#i woke up i was really upset and anxious all day. we have a friend over this weekend and he comes today and i do not want to go to bed at#fucking like 9 pm bc we rarely see him. that and i feel like shit as it is lol i feel like my arthritis is flaring up bc we're in a cold#snap. so honestly i'm considering calling in tomorrow but i haven't decided bc i don't want to fuck up my attendance anymore than i already#have bc they put me on a corrective action last week bc of the aforementioned ncns and like i'm not exactly in danger of being fired but#being on a ca is not good. so i'd rather just let a sleeping dog lie and take the L on tomorrow lol
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my flatmate asking me the day before "do u want to hang out w me and [old friend] everyone else cancelled so I can invite u now" is not the heartfelt offer she thinks it is :^/
#what am i sloppy seconds. fuck off man#i like them both but im not in the place to socialise rn + also it just feels kinda mean. theyve had these plans for weeks#and i wasnt invited bc some of their other friends (who ive never met) didnt want me there which is fair enough ig#even tho their friends complained abt someone else bringing her bf but they both blocked the veto for that. pretty sure ik them-#better than some guy but whatever. i dont rly like their friends anyway bc they only ever have bad things to say abt them#like damn they sound like they have the emotional range of toddlers plus theyre all into shit like genshin. so i wasnt fazed abt it#hope they have a nice time etc but wow sure now theyve cancelled the day before u can invite me as a replacement. yeah thatll do wonders#for the social and self esteem issues i have around being single use and disposable and always on the outside etc yippee#the thing is if i go theyll just talk to each other anyway and leave me to be the fly on the wall like they always do. they dont want#me there they just want an audience i literally have nothing else to contribute i dont think they even like me that much so!#anyway complaint over. genuinely i hope they have a nice time im just annoyed at being treated like that + probably projecting a bit too#its not like i could go if i wanted to anyway bc i have shit to sort out + mail to wait for. maybe next time invite me from the start huh#we had another old friend visit last weekend but those plans were really made without me too and i was just added bc i Live Here so its#kind of unavoidable. but oh well whatever it was nice to see them either way#im too depressed rn to fix my social life or even rely on existing coping strategies in social situations so im having to temporarily#cut it back bc i get too trigger sensitive + dont want to hurt myself or others bc of an arbitrary emotional overreaction#its usually one of the first things to go when im Going Thru It not in a self isolating way but more bc its one of the hardest things#for me to maintain + im pretty self sufficient so its not absolutely crucial. like of course i love my friends but socialising is a#want not a need yknow. eating/sleeping/exercising/hygiene are all more fundamental parts of the engine so i gotta prioritise them#and it sucks but ill survive. anyway sorry for venting on everyones dash so early in the morning i woke up grumpy 👎#i need to get breakfast and then go out. ughhhhhhh okay.#.vent
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One thing about my birthday being right amid Christmas and Hanukkah is that the fact I'm the poorest amongst my local friend group and financial insecurity has still got it's claws in me deep gets draped in flashing neon holiday lights and decorated in questions like "is there going to be a happy hour" and "what trip are you taking?? Buying yourself something nice right??" And the closer i get to the day the more my plans dwindle down into the cheapest simplest celebration so i can afford it but inevitably it will be cancelled because the holidays and gifts and my family and friends will always come first
#ignore me i woke up very depressed and very tired because i spent friday with colleagues and friends who make significantly more#and my birthday is always forgotten in favor of xmas which is why i make a point to travel but i cant this year because of cancer#and my weekend plans for a staycation have no dwindled to maybe one dinner because my family wants an early xmas#and a friend is having Hanukkah on sunday and i just dropped $300 on bills this weekend so my budget for the birthday is gone#i know this sounds very selfish and whiny but its beeb a very hard few months with medical expenses and regular bills and life#and i had really hoped to be healed up from top surgery and spending my birthday in nyc#and this whole thing since diagnosis has felt like im being dragged back underwater#and all the work ive done has been pointless
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Can I scream???IN your inbox??? Im gonna do it anways lol 😎✌
MONACO HAS BEWITCHED THEM!!! TRULY!! WHAT EVEN WHAT UN THE SPAN OF 2 DAYS!!!(2!!!) THEY HAVE... THEY!!! Aaaaa-this doesn't make sense but idc
Im so not ready for their challenge video BUT AT ZHE SAME TIME THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITJBG FOR!!!
Nando and lance have possessed me truly im-...
What in the gay
Thank you for coming to scream in my inbox 🙏 please allow me to scream back because OH MY GOD
OKAY BUT SERIOUSLY?????? LIKE WE'VE BARELY EVEN GOT INTO THE RACE WEEKEND AND THEY'RE ALREADY DOING THIS????? FLIRTING ON MAIN?????????
Like I think we've talked about this before but how is it that every race weekend, they get more extreme????? Like yknow I thought it was a pretty insane peak in Miami with that neck grab but now this???? The finger wag???? And also in that clip, Lance nudging him first????? Both of them, menaces.
I'm really really excited for the challenge video but I think it's gonna be one of those things where I keep having to pause and scream into my hands(Hopefully tho, Aston does normal challenge vids this year, like the 2021 Lance and Seb ones.)
And as I've mentioned, if Fernando wins Monaco, I swear to you something unhinged is gonna happen between them. I mean look at those Bahrain hugs....that was for a P3....just saying....
#i was having fun last night(this morning? my sleep schedule is fucked) posting all of those nando gifs#like screaming over those ones where hes on the massage table#and i peacefully went to sleep looking forward to peoples reactions#and i was gratified but then i also woke up to strollonso flirting on main#how to make yourself combust within 5 minutes of waking up#LIKE SERIOUSLY#and this is why monaco is one of the best race weekends#anyways i need them to kiss in some manner on sunday thx even a forehead or cheek kiss will do...#i am still reeling over the shove and finger wag#seriously i thought they were pretty insane in miami but i feel like theyve already topped it#not mentally prepared for thr rest of this weekend#catie.asks.
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