#it's like it opened a new dimension in my brain and i'm craving it

[missbabyjay]

What Is This? - Joel Miller x F Reader

TLOU SPOILERS!

MASTERLIST - CHECK OUT MY PAGE FOR MORE!

HI! This takes place in my own made up dimension lol. I followed parts of the actual show, and then completely disregarded other parts. I plan on leaving Bill and Frank in, but I wasn't sure about Tess (no hate to her character). This is sorta self-indulgent so I hope you enjoy anyway! I think I might make a part two but I need to know what y'all think :)

I'd also like to point out that I am just becoming familiar with Joel. I would like to keep him rough around the edge, but I think there's truly a sweet person under there and I need some fluffier stuff with him. I'm seeing way too many pieces where Joel is next level crazy. So this is for my fluff lovers.

Warnings/Content: Mature, Swearing, Angst, injury, the tiniest bit of fluff

Summary: You and Joel don't particularly enjoy each other, but with the shared responsibility of Ellie you're stuck together - being forced to address whatever weird thing there is between you two.

Word Count: 2K

. . .

You had been working alongside Joel for the past two years. You had met through Tess, doing odd jobs for her. Joel never seemed to trust you, although he never really trusted anyone. He didn’t enjoy your attitude, and found you to be sloppy at your job. The two of you were similar in one way; you had enough of the corrupt shit occurring in the QZ. You wanted to get away, you craved freedom - even if that meant living among the infected. You craved life outside of the walls… away from FEDRA.

Besides that, you and Joel butt heads like two mountain goats; fighting for dominance in the partnership you shared. You both had cold, yet overpowering personalities. Your morals were long gone. You both had an incredible amount of trauma constantly sitting on your shoulders, making the linger of tension much stronger between you two.

You insisted that you’d be able to handle yourself outside of the walls. You had experienced life among the ruined world before making it to Boston… how did he figure you ended up there anyway? The only reason you agreed to transporting Ellie was in hopes of finding new life, somewhere far away from the Boston QZ. With or without Joel, you didn’t care. In fact, you could say you were using him as leverage to get out of here - he knew the secret ways out, where to go when you reached the open world outside of the large, consuming and towering walls that encapsulated you within the fucked up corrupt society you lived in.

It had been a tense few days since you left the QZ. Plans changed and you were left with the responsibility of Ellie; something neither you or Joel really wanted. You trudged your feet forward, following behind the two. You knew there were a few places that Joel stashed extra items, making you hopeful for a pit stop. Your legs ached, sending shooting pains to your feet. Each step you took forward made you wince with pain… this sort of trek was easier before you got comfortable with your sedentary life within the QZ.

“We’re gonna stop right up here, stay back… I’m gonna check inside,” Joel instructed you and Ellie. 

You sighed, sending a gentle smile to Ellie who reciprocated. You appreciated Ellie’s attitude. She didn’t really have much of a filter and she stood up for herself; respectable for a fourteen year old, you thought to yourself. You wished you were the same way when you were fourteen. You will never forget being that age; that was the year the outbreak began.

As always, you didn’t listen to Joel. You proceeded forward causing him to let out a low, powerful, “No.” To which you responded by rolling your eyes.

The two of you followed behind Joel, and when you entered the building you were met with a run down gas station. Yet the ravaged sight was genuinely nostalgic to you. You couldn’t remember the last time you were in a gas station. Your brain flooded back to pre-apocalyptic life, a time where life was enjoyable; renting a movie, grabbing a slushy, indulging in some candy. Your hands glided along the dust covered shelves as you walked down the aisle. Ellie wandered off while Joel searched for his stash.

“So what’s your plan, old man?” You muttered to Joel as he continued trying to retrace his steps.

“Why’s it matter to you? Thought you could handle this on your own,” he grunted.

You continued tracing shapes and drawing in the dust, dragging your feet along. “You’d like that. Wouldn’t you?”

Joel stopped, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

You continued stalking the aisles, but now you were staring into Joel’s eyes. He looked angry, a look that was quite familiar to you.

“I know you don’t even want me here. I don’t even want to be here with you. I’m sure there’s better people out there anyway,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes sarcastically.

Joel stopped his scattered movements to face you, quickly removing the space between the two of you.

His hand forcefully made its way to your delicate neck, pushing you against the end cap of the aisle. Your eyes widened as you gasped for air, “Look girl, you know you wouldn’t survive out there without me. And after losing Tess? I’m not losing you either.”

Joel stared into your eyes, into your soul. Your neck gulped under the strong grip of his hand - you struggled to gasp, your lungs were begging for air. He finally let go, causing you to intake a deep breath, trying to find the words, but instead tears began to well and you hurried out of the busted gas station.

Joel knew he fucked up. He didn’t know what came over him, but he couldn’t lose you or Ellie. Not necessarily out of love, but for the sake of his own ego, and guilt. Joel couldn’t handle anymore of that.

“Ellie!” He yelled out, searching for her in the building.

She slowly slid around the corner of the small office space, “What the fuck was that dude?”

Joel shook his head, “Let’s go. Now.” He demanded.

To Ellie’s surprise Joel ran out of the building. She quickly followed behind.

. . .

Your heart was racing as your chest expanded and closed in at a rapid pace. You tripped on a large tree chunk, leaving you sprawled on the ground. You pushed yourself to stand with the limited energy you had left. Your hands held you up as you used your knees for support, trying to not put too much pressure on your weak and injured foot. You attempted to get ahold of your breathing; the tears still falling down your dirtied face like a waterfall.

You didn’t understand… he cared about you?

The way he treated you since the beginning just didn’t match up with his words. What kind of game was he playing? He would throw cold, intimidating bitterness towards you for any small mistake. He didn't hesitate to put you in your place, and never paid you any attention that wasn't direly necessary.

You didn’t remember what it felt like to be cared about. You always ran from affection… even before the apocalypse.

You heard your name being called from afar, awakening your fight or flight to kick in - you wanted to run, as far as you could, but your body couldn’t withstand anymore; your legs continued to ache, your ankle was agonizing and your lungs felt like they were filled with blood. You were far more out of shape than you thought, leaving your inner weakness to overtake you. 

You decided to let the universe decide your destiny - you laid on the ground and waited, like bait. Either for Joel to find you, or an infected.

Your eyes wandered above you. You soaked in the leafy green trees towering over you. The sounds of nature filling your ears. The warm wind blowing against your rough skin. The earth below you felt cool and comforting. Your breathing began to slow and you found your eyes becoming heavy. As much as you wanted to fight it, you let them close and soon you were met with a hazy half-ass slumber - the best you could get in an apocalypse.

. . .

Joel felt panic wash over him. He just told you he couldn’t lose you, and yet here he was searching for you. “Where could she be?” he questioned as he began to feel that all too familiar feeling - guilt.

Ellie joined him in calling your name. She felt nervous too. She wasn’t sure if she could handle Joel after losing another person. His bitterness made this journey much harder, a journey she didn’t choose to be on.

Joel stopped dead in his tracks, and reached his arm out to stop Ellie from proceeding. He slowly raised his gun, and cautiously began walking forward, taking small, quiet steps in order to avoid creating too much noise. He didn’t have much ammo left and he had to make the most of it.

He saw a body laying in the middle of the path, could it be an infected? Or just a dead body? His heart dropped when he noticed it was you; eyes closed, body limp. His mind wandered to the worst possible place.

“Y/N!” He shook you lightly, cautiously, unsure of the situation. Just hopeful that you were okay. He saw your chest rising, indicating you were well alive. He soaked in the view of your face; your parted chapped lips, the delicate crows feet nestled beside your eyes, the dirt that laid on your face - that still looked so soft to him.

. . .

Your peaceful slumber was broken as your body was gently shook. You bolted up - defencive being the first thing you felt anytime you woke from sleep. “Y/N, woah girl it’s just me, Joel” his voice cooed, bringing you back to reality as he rubbed your arm.

“Oh, you,” fell out of your lips sarcastically, brushing Joel off as quickly as you could. You didn’t want to feel his touch - you didn’t know how to process his touch. Joel made you want to feel cared for again, maybe.

“I’m just uh- gonna go like 10 feet over there and let you two figure out whatever this is…” Ellie announced, awkwardly making her way over to a nearby tree where she could prop herself against, somewhat comfortably, while being able to protect her back.

You both eyed Ellie as she walked, both knowing she was your responsibility to protect, but also knowing the two of you had to figure out whatever fucked up situation this was.

You began to massage your ankle, wincing in pain. Fuck, what did I do. Joel looked down over you, concern and anger were plastered on his face.

“Why the fuck did you run Y/N? What is wrong with you? I said you couldn’t handle being alone and here I fucking find you… asleep in the middle of a forest… so vulnerable,” he exclaimed, aggressively grabbing your arm to pull you to your feet.

You resisted, but his power was all too much for you to fight against. The weight of yourself bearing on your ankle made it difficult for you to stand. You shrugged your shoulders. You weren’t sure exactly why you ran. Joel’s words made you feel something that you didn’t want to feel. You didn’t want a connection to anyone. You knew this sort of life meant relying on yourself and only yourself, and Joel was making that difficult.

You looked up to meet Joel's brown eyes. His dusted face looked concerned, not angry, for once. “Look, what you said… I'm not used to people saying that kinda shit to me. It’s hard to hear that someone doesn’t want me dead, I usually assume the opposite considering no one really cares about other people in this world,” you muttered out, struggling to keep contact with Joel's gaze.

Your body tensed as you were suddenly pulled into Joel's embrace. It wasn’t necessarily loving, but it felt protective. “Well I do care. I’m not gonna lose you. You may annoy the shit out of me but my world would be too quiet without your bitching,” he whispered into your ear. Sure, the words weren’t romantic or anything, but you knew Joel was being genuine. 

You pushed Joel away, “Okay,” you grunted, sending him a feeble smile through your pursed lips. “I’m gonna need you to tape me up. I fucked up my ankle earlier,” you lamented. 

Joel shook his head, “Of course you did. Here, sit back down,” he glowered. He called over Ellie to assist him and the two managed to tape your ankle making you able to lazily follow behind them as you continued your journey. 

“Where to?” you questioned, not sure what kind of answer you’d receive.

“Bill and Franks,” Joel muttered, waving you over to come closer to him. “Get on my back, you shouldn’t walk on that ankle of yours,” he insisted. You obliged, you’d be crazy to turn down his offer. Your ankle was throbbing and you could use a break considering you still had a few hours of your hike to get through.

As Joel readjusted you on his back your body became quite comfortable. You nuzzled your chin in between his shoulder and neck, embracing his warmth and surprisingly nodding off into a light snooze. 

[secret-engima]

Fling the Stand Strong Glaives at Nox Verse? Pretty Please? Just. I'm tying to picture their reaction to Nox and. All im getting is screaming and TV static.

....

......You crave chaos is that it? Because Chaos is what you’re getting. Buckle up everyone, anon has lit a grenade and yote it into my crowd of muses (also I have no idea where this idea just WENT it ran off with me).

-Nox has ... literally no idea what just happened or why. But he’s ... pretty chill with it? Sorta? Mostly he’s just desensitized to the Weirdness of his life and getting thrown into different dimensions.

-Now- different dimensions getting thrown at HIM is a ... slightly different matter. Scarier matter. Or at least more chaotic. Especially since it’s not one cat woman and her fat chocobo, this is an entire Kingsglaive + ROYALTY. Namely his dad, Clarus, Cor, another Noctis, and a woman in a janitor’s uniform who looks WAY too amused by this entire thing.

-Nox has to calm down both his dad and the other Regis, because of course he does, Ardyn is too busy laughing in the corner (and getting looked at very oddly by the janitor woman and the other Titus). His dad is VERY alarmed by Nox’s casual admission that he’s experienced stuff like this before, but there’s no time for that because there’s suddenly a Kingsglaive in his face who looks like he could be Nyx’s male twin, sniffing him curiously like a dog.

-Excuse you. What.

-The Other!Libertus thankfully drags the Nyx twin back with an apology and a faint wrinkle of his nose, like he’s baffled by something.

-Nyx Twin flat out asks, “Why is your scent just like Noctis’s? And why are you suppressing so hard?”

-Suppressing what. SMELLS LIKE WHAT.

-He’s dimly aware that Ardyn has Stopped Laughing, and he’s dimly aware of his own voice saying that he’s Noctis’s older brother, that’s all it is.

-The Nyx Twin starts to say something else, but then the janitor woman is muttering in a language none of Nox’s lifetimes know and the Nyx Twin goes quiet.

-He doesn’t remember everyone getting settled in the lounge/break room area of the Glaive HQ, but that’s what happens and Nox gets to bear witness to the other Regis looking like he’s dying internally as he gives a summary of ... secondary genders. And scent markers. That can be mentally controlled.

-Okay then.

-Still not any weirder than going to a world that survived on energy produced from battle royales refereed by a being of Order and Harmony and another being of Chaos and Discord.

-It makes him hyper aware of what the Nyx Twin (who is apparently Nyx, his wife is a GUY in another universe what the-) said. About his scent being identical to Noctis’s. That ... that could be a problem. He prays they won't ask more about it.

-He becomes aware of a presence at his knee and looks down. There is a tiny Noctis there, much younger than the teenager Nox knows is elsewhere in the Citadel at the moment. The little Noctis tilts his head and sniffs the air, then smiles and ... was that purring? That was purring under his voice as he looked over at Other!Regis and said, “Dad! Dad he’s a big brother! Dad other me has a big brother!”

-“I can see that Noctis,” Other!Regis says indulgently.

-Nox can see the question forming before Other!Noctis’s lips even move, “Can I have a big brother dad? For Christmas? Please?”

-While both Regis’s sputter over the question and Ardyn coos softly in the background over “another nephew! A purring nephew!”, Nox becomes aware of another magic presence entering the Glaive HQ.

-She wasn’t supposed to be DOWN HERE TODAY-.

-Nox is on his feet and scowling as he rushes for the door-

-Too late to stop his wife from opening it and sauntering through, “Hey where’s everybody ... gone. Oh hi. Nox what did you do there’s like- doubles of everyone. Or is this a new Pregnancy Thing and there’s really only one of everybody like usual.”

-Nox can almost feel the dimensional counterparts’ brains melting as he gently takes his wife by the arm and leads her to the nearest chair (no sense taking her away now, she’d refuse and he can’t fight her in this condition), “Dimensional magic weirdness, your counterpart is a guy, and everyone from the other world has like- feral animal senses and instincts.”

-Nyx, moving as casually as if her stomach was not second trimester swollen, flops (carefully) into the nearest comfy chair and oohs in interest at the brain-melting counterparts, “Cool. Is that him? I make a hot dude. Oh hi Lib! Yes I know I’m supposed to be resting but I got bored and came down here, glad I did. Hi other Lib! Nice to meet you.”

-Nox feels his spine prickle at the ominous silence, stiffens and shifts partially in front of his wife as he stares at the counterparts, who are, to a person, staring at his Nyx. Even his father’s counterpart is staring with wide eyes.

-Other!Noctis breaks the silence by clattering up, nostrils flared and eyes wide, “Pups? You’re having PUPS? My other self gets to be a PACK UNCLE?”

-Nyx grins, eyes bright and shoulders relaxed as she gestures the boy closer, “He sure is. It’s his brother that married me after all.” Other!Noctis gives Nox a look that is positively sparkling before running gentle hands over Nyx’s stomach.

-A few seconds later and the male Nyx is standing there, just out of Nox’s reach and all but vibrating with fascination, “Hi.” He says without taking his eyes off Nox’s wife’s baby bump.

-Nox’s wife grins, “Hi. Bet this is weird for you.”

-“Like you wouldn’t believe.” Says the other Nyx who is now definitely purring, quiet but rough like a chainsaw. Nox reluctantly lets him closer and like that’s a signal of some kind, ALL of the Other!Glaives are crowded around, talking and purring with bright eyes. His Nyx has zero issues with it, just grins and laughs and answers questions and doesn’t bat an eye that Other!Titus is now looming over her purring like a freaking thunder storm.

-Well. At least now he knows he has a perfect distraction to keep this crowd busy while he asks Bahamut what the heck happened and how to send them home.

-No wait. That means his pregnant wife and her counterpart will be in close proximity, he KNOWS his wife, the chaos will quadruple for every minute they spend together and he’s not risking that.